Archive of Our Own

Asuma wiped the sweat off his forehand, careful not to burn himself on the lit cigarette carefully held between two of his fingers.  It was the time of year that was always unbearably humid in the Land of Fire, and he wished he was back at home in front of his fan.  But Ino, Choji, and Shikamaru had asked him to train with them, and he couldn’t say no.  They weren’t his students anymore, all three having made chunin, but he still had a soft spot for them.  They were his first team and they would always be important to him.  He also couldn’t help but feel a smug kind of pride that they still wanted to train with him even though they didn’t have to anymore.

He was taking a break, lounging in the shade with Shikamaru.  Choji had wanted to improve his endurance and Ino wanted to practice her taijutsu, so Asuma was letting them spar themselves tired.  Every so often he called out suggestions to them, but for the most part he was just watching them.  They had come a long way from the unpolished genin he had first met, and he was proud of them.  He smiled to himself as he watched Ino send Choji flying with a chakra-infused kick.  But then he frowned as she turned to him with a mischievous sort of look.

“Oh Asuma Sensei….”  Ino gave him a wide smile as she walked over to them.

“Oh here we go.  This’ll be a drag.”  Shikamaru muttered it under his breath.  Asuma privately agreed, but just smiled back at her.

“What’s up, Ino?”  She clasped her hands together and somehow made her smile even wider.  Asuma became suspicious.  

“Welllll I might have created a new jutsu and I want you guys to help me test it out.”  Shikamaru sighed loudly, keeping his eyes closed.  Asuma frowned again, shaking his head as he did.  

“No way.  Remember what happened last time you tried to create something?”  She has burned Choji’s eyebrows off and melted a handful of shuriken.  “Just stick to the jutsus your dad’s been teaching you.”  Ino huffed and then pouted at him childishly.  

“This won’t be like last time, I promise.  Please Asuma Sensei .”  She batted her eyes at him.  Asuma looked at her for a long time before sighing.  

“Fine.  But only throw it at me alright?  Choji just got his eyebrows back.” 

“Okay!”  Ino shouted it with a wide smile and a loud clap of her hands.  She ran back to the center of the clearing and looked at him expectantly.  Asuma put out his cigarette and then stood up slowly.  He walked past Choji who was limping towards Shikamaru.  He stopped walking a few feet away from Ino and felt nervous.  “Ready?”  He looked back over at Shikamaru and Choji.  Shikamaru was still laying on the ground, but Asuma could see one of his eyes cracked open slightly watching them.  Choji was halfway through a bag of chips.  He looked back at Ino who was smiling mischievously.  

“Ready.”  He sounded fearful and nervous, but that didn’t deter her.  She made hand signs that looked similar to her mind transfer jutsu.  Asuma shouted in surprise as he was suddenly knocked off his feet.  

His head hit the ground hard as he fell.

Asuma woke up slowly, his whole body aching.  The bed he was on was hard and uncomfortable, which probably meant he was in the hospital.  He had no idea what Ino had hoped to do with that jutsu, but his lungs felt like they were on fire.  His vision was blurry when he finally opened his eyes.  He blinked a few times, but his vision never got any clearer.  

Even with his blurry vision, Asuma could tell that he wasn’t in the hospital.  The ceiling was unfamiliar, and he was starting to get nervous.  He looked to the right, hoping to see Kurenai or Shikamaru, but the space beside his bed was empty.  The left side was empty too, but he caught sight of his hands as he looked that way.  

They weren't his hands.  He could move them, but they were too pale and small to be his.  The nails were painted, so he thought Ino might have accidentally swapped them with her untested jutsu.  But the hands were too dirty and calloused to be hers.  Asuma started to panic, especially as he could hear people walking towards the room he was in.  He had no idea who's body he was in and if it'd be able to fight or not.  He also had no idea how far away he was from the Leaf.

Asuma inhaled sharply as he saw who entered the room and then held his breath hoping they hadn't heard him.  He had only met the Monster of the Mist once, the time Itachi Uchiha had snuck back into the village, but he had hoped he'd never need to fight him again.  He felt even more vulnerable now with the shark-like man in the room. Asuma looked at the other people who entered, expecting one of them to be Itachi, but he wasn't there.  Instead there was a squat man who creaked every time he moved and someone with long, blonde hair that almost looked like Ino.  All three of them were wearing large, black cloaks with red clouds on them.  He sighed to himself quietly and decided that pretending to still be asleep was the safest option.  He only realized after it was too late that he had been looking at Hoshigaki and that he had been looking back.

"Itachi!"  Asuma tensed, expecting Itachi to burst in and put him in that weird torture jutsu.  But he slowly realized whose body he was in as they all crowded around him.  Ino had somehow swapped him with Itachi 'Clan-Killer' Uchiha, one of the most dangerous ninjas the Leaf had ever produced.  And one that had a habit of making friends with other dangerous ninjas.  Asuma needed to get back to his own body, so tried to think quickly.  His best bet was getting back to the village and finding a Yamanaka to sort him out.  He didn't think he could fight his way past the men in the room, especially not with the way he still felt achy.  But if they thought he was Itachi, he'd be able to sneak away later.  Him and Itachi had never been friends or anything, but he remembered him well enough from before the massacre.  Asuma was pretty sure he could impersonate Itachi and get past the men crowding his bed.

"Hey fellas."  Asuma smiled as he said it,  but his smile immediately dropped.  There was suddenly a sharp blade close to his throat and it shone in a way that usually meant poison.  The blonde man leaned closer, pulling his hair away from his eye as he moved.  And Hoshigaki snarled at him with all of his sharp teeth.

"Who the hell are you?"

Asuma sighed to himself.  He was absolutely fucked.

Itachi knew something was wrong as soon as he woke up.  His body wasn't aching, and he could breathe without any pain.  He opened his eyes slowly, and his vision was clearer than it had been for years.  It had been a long time since he had been in the Leaf's hospital, but he recognized the ceiling almost immediately.  He moved his head slowly and carefully to look around.

He noticed his hands right away.  Or whoever's hands they really were.  They were much larger than his own, if it wasn't for the skin color he might've mistaken them for Kisame's.  They were tanned, calloused, and covered in small burns.  Itachi didn't recognize them.  But he did recognize the people crowded around his bed.  Kurenai Yuhi looked the exact same as she had when Itachi saw her last, but Ino, Choji, and Shikamaru all looked so much older than he remembered.  He had a pretty good idea of who's body he was in, but decided to let them fill in the pieces for him.  He made a show of waking up, groaning loudly to get everyone's attention.

"Asuma Sensei!"  Ino was suddenly hovering over him, and her eyes were shining with unshed tears.  "I'm so sorry!  I promise I won't try to create any more jutsus."  She didn't tell Itachi exactly what had happened, but he had enough information to figure it out on his own.  Him and Asuma had been hit with some sort of modified mind transfer jutsu, which had swapped them.  He wanted to sigh as it probably wasn't going to be easy to swap them back.  He also wasn't sure who to ask for help as it wouldn't be a good idea to let the Leaf know he was there.  Ino was still looking at him tearfully, so he figured he should say something.  He had only really known Asuma through Kakashi, but he thought he'd be able to impersonate him well enough.

"Yeah best to leave that to the professionals."  Itachi wasn't sure if that was something Asuma would've said, but no one was looking at him too strangely.  Itachi sat up and liked the way he didn't feel dizzy at all.  Kurenai looked at him in concern.

"You should lay back down, Asuma.  Shikamura said you hit your head pretty hard."  Itachi felt the back of his head, but there wasn't a wound or anything.  He couldn't tell her that felt better than he had for years, so tried to think of something else.  Kisame usually talked for both of them, so Itachi tried to imagine what his partner would say.

"It'd take a lot more than a knock to the head to keep me down."  Kurenai smiled at him fondly, so Itachi assumed he sounded enough like Asuma.  

"Of course. Your thick skull probably saved you."  She said it with a teasing, fond tone so Itachi assumed it was something she said to Asuma often.  He smiled back at her, hoping it looked right.  "Shizune said she wanted to look you over once you woke up.  But then I'm sure she'll give you the all clear."

"Ohhhh then maybe we can get barbeque."  Choji said it with a mouth full of chips.  Itachi blinked slowly, struggling to figure out how to respond.  But luckily Ino interjected before the silence had gone on for too long.

"Are you seriously asking about food at a time like this?"  Choji seemed immune to the glare Ino was currently throwing at him.  Shikamaru sighed loudly and then rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm hungry."  Itachi's laugh surprised him.  It didn't seem to surprise anyone else though, and Kurenai's look only got fonder.

"Yeah maybe we can."  Itachi didn't know why he had said it, but he couldn't take it back, especially not with the excited way Choji was looking at him.  Kurenai laughed pleasantly, and then Itachi was startled as she laced their fingers together.  She was looking at him softly, and he started to panic as he understood the relationship between them.  

Itachi needed to find a way back to his own body quickly.

The wire they had tied him up with was cutting into Asuma's chest.  He was currently on his knees, surrounded by nine ninjas in matching cloaks.  They all looked dangerous in their own way, and Asuma wished he could figure out how to activate the sharingan.  He had no idea how to use it,  but he at least would've felt a little safer with some kind of way to defend himself.  No one had said anything since they all crowded around him, and he only got more nervous as the silence went on.  The ninja with the legendary rinnegan was the one to finally break the silence.

"You're sure this really isn't Itachi?" 

“Yeah I’m sure.  Itachi would’ve gotten out of that by now.”  Hoshigaki gestured at Asuma as he said it.  He felt a little embarrassed as he hadn’t even tried to free himself. 

“And he called us ‘fellas’!”  The blonde man’s gesture was a lot more aggressive.  A man with bright silver hair started to laugh wildly.

“Oh fuck I wish I was there for that.”  Asuma was even more embarrassed at the way everyone was looking at him. 

“I see.  If it’s not Itachi, then who is it?”  The man with the rinnegan wasn’t asking him, but Asuma wouldn’t have answered anyway.  He had no idea what they were planning to do to him, but figured the less they knew the better.  He didn’t want to accidentally lead them to his students or Kurenai or anyone else in the Leaf.

“Does it fucking matter who it is?  Aren’t we just going to kill him?”  The silver haired man was looking down at him in excitement.  

“No!  We can’t kill him in Itachi’s body!”  Hoshigaki was suddenly in between Asuma and the other man as if the man was going to kill him right then or something.  

“Why not?  It’s not like his brain’s in there or anything.”

“Hidan’s right.”  The man’s voice was muffled by his mask.  “Itachi’s bounty is pretty high.  I’m sure he could learn to live in his new body if we killed this one for the payday.”  Asuma suddenly realized that these guys might actually kill him right then.  He tried to get out of the ninja wire, something he probably should’ve been doing the whole time he was kneeling there.

“We’re not killing Itachi’s body.  I’m pretty sure I can use the King of Hell to swap them back.”  The man with the rinnegan spoke with authority, so Asuma assumed that meant he was the leader.  He breathed a little easier as the immediate threat seemed like it was gone and as he loosened the wire a bit.  But then the man with the rinnegan looked at him thoughtfully.  “Though I don’t see any reason why we need to keep this person around for that.  I can put him in the King of Hell now.”  

Asuma had no idea what a ‘King of Hell’ was and didn’t want to find out.  He started moving backwards quietly, hoping no one would notice him trying to leave.

“Pein.”  The woman’s voice was quiet and flat.  “Itachi’s body might break down without a soul inside of it.”  The man sighed.

“Fine, then we’ll keep whoever this is around.  Though I guess we should probably figure out who it is so we can find Itachi.”  They all looked back at Asuma, who had managed to crawl back pretty far.  Hoshigaki bared his sharp teeth at him.

“Where do you think you’re going?” 

“Heh.  Nowhere?”  Hoshigaki smiled at him dangerously.  Then there was sudden, sharp pain to the back of his head.

Itachi kept waiting for them to figure out that he wasn't Asuma as they ate, but the accusation never came.  He mostly stayed quiet, listening to everyone else.  Whenever he had to say something he just tried to think of what Asuma would say or, if he couldn't think of anything, what Kisame would say and that seemed to work everytime.  They didn’t have any reason to believe that he wasn’t Asuma, so he just had to make sure he wasn’t accidentally giving them one.  

Eventually they all went their separate ways, and Itachi was relieved that Kurenai and Asuma seemed to live separately.  He knew she’d figure it out immediately as soon as they were alone.  He also just needed time to think through everything.  The only things he really knew for certain were that he was in Asuma Sarutobi’s body and that it was the result of a mind transfer jutsu gone wrong.  He knew a little about the Yamanaka Clan’s secret jutsus, but not enough to reason out a solution himself.  As he was back in the Leaf he could try to get help from an older Yamanaka, but that was too risky.  The moment they peeked into his brain they’d know exactly who he really was, which was one of the Leaf’s most famous criminals.  Itachi’s best bet was to get back to the Akatsuki.  They probably already noticed that the Itachi with them wasn’t the right one.  He just needed a chance to sneak out of the village.

A chance he’d have to wait for as Gai was currently walking up to him with a large smile.  Itachi hoped he could keep up his believable Asuma until he got his chance.  

Asuma had reluctantly told the Akatsuki exactly who he was.  It was the only way they’d let him walk around without any bindings.  He had been offended that they thought so lowly of him at first.  He was a jonin of one of the major hidden villages and he had been one of the Twelve Guardian Ninjas for the Fire daimyō, but they were treating him like some untrained genin.  But then he realized he really wasn’t a threat to them, at least not in Itachi’s body.  He still hadn’t figured out how to activate the sharingan, his vision was still blurry, and his body still ached all the time.  At first he had thought all that was because of the jutsu, but now he was wondering if something was wrong with Itachi.  

Now that he wasn’t tied up, Asuma should’ve been trying to get back to the Leaf.  But Hoshigaki had been keeping a close eye on him, and he wasn’t even sure he’d be able to make it there.  He also wasn’t sure he’d make it past the gate if he did make it there.  He would have to be able to convince everyone he wasn’t Itachi and that also meant hoping they wouldn’t attack him on sight.  As much as he hated relying on the Akatsuki, they were probably his best bet at getting back into his own body.  He would just need to figure out a way to make sure they didn’t kill him right afterwards.  Asuma decided to worry about that part later.  Right now he was just waiting for Zetsu, the strange, plant-like man, to come back with his body.

It had taken him a while, but Asuma eventually found a pack of cigarettes in the Akatsuki’s hideout.  They felt like a lifeline to him.  He immediately ran outside with them, doing his best to avoid everyone.  He relaxed for the first time in days as he took a drag of the cigarette.  It burned in a pleasant, familiar sort of way.  It also made him feel a lot calmer about the whole body switching situation.  

Asuma had just lit his second cigarette when he caught sight of Hoshigaki.  He sighed, assuming the shark-like man was out looking for him.  Pein hadn't assigned anyone to guard him, but Hoshigaki took it on himself to.  He was constantly hovering, threatening all kinds of things if Asuma tried to run away.  Asuma knew he wasn't going to go through with them, not while he was stuck in Itachi's body, so they were just kind of tedious.

“What’re you doing?!”  Hoshigaki yanked the cigarette away with more force than he needed to.  Asuma sighed again.

“Just trying to have a cigarette.”  His heart sank as he watched the other man drop the cigarette to the ground and grind it into the dirt with his heel.

“Not in that body you’re not.  These things are terrible for you.”  Asuma rolled his eyes at him.

“It’s just one cigarette.  Besides Itachi’s young enough that this won’t kill him or anything.”  Hoshigaki frowned, and it made his face look more severe.  

“Itachi’s got--”  He cut himself off abruptly, probably not wanting Asuma to know about any weakness Itachi might have.  But with the little he had said and the achy way Asuma felt, he was able to figure out that Itachi was sick with something .  “It’s not your body, so don’t treat it like it is.  Stay out of trouble.”  Asuma glared at him as Hoshigaki took the rest of the pack away from him.  

“You don’t need to talk to me like I’m a kid or something.”  Asuma sounded whiner than he wanted to, but he blamed that on Itachi’s voice.  

“Apparently I do.  Just stay in the hideout.”  Asuma glared at his back as he walked away.  He had the urge to stick his tongue out too, but that felt too childish so instead he just thought about doing it.  He also thought about picking up the crushed cigarette and trying to light it again anyway, but something about that felt a little too desperate.  He sighed and leaned against a tree.  He hoped Zetsu would be back soon with his body.

“Hey Asthma.”  Asuma looked up and saw Hidan and Deidara perched in the tree he was leaning against.  They had probably been there the whole time, and he was embarrassed that he hadn’t noticed them.

“It’s Asuma.”

“Yeah, whatever.  Do you want to spar with us?”  They were both smiling at him mischievously.  Asuma knew it was probably a bad idea and knew Hoshigaki was probably going to yell at him for it, but that only egged him on.  He smiled back up at them.

“Sure, why not.”  Hidan whooped loudly, and then they both dropped down next to him.  Their smiles looked dangerous, and Asuma was starting to regret agreeing to a spar.  But it was too late to back out, especially as they were already pulling him somewhere.

Itachi had hoped to sneak out of the village that first night, but he hadn’t been able to get rid of Gai until late.  Then he figured he should try to get some sleep and sneak out early.  But he wasn’t able to get to sleep at all.  He was used to sleeping in new places, but hadn’t realized how reliant he was on listening to Kisame’s breathing until it wasn’t there.  Asuma’s small apartment felt oddly quiet and lonely as he laid in the bed.

Sneaking out early didn’t work either as there was a kid waiting on the other side of Asuma’s apartment door as soon as he opened it.  The kid was tiny, probably a recently graduated genin if the shininess of his headband was anything to go by.  He was looking up at Itachi expectantly.  Itachi wished he had even a hint of who this kid was.

“Uh...good morning?”  Itachi winced as the kid huffed loudly.  He didn’t think he would mess up immediately and also didn’t really want to knock a random kid out to escape.

“You’re late Uncle Asuma!  You told me to meet you at training ground 10 early , but you never showed up.”  The kid didn’t look anything like Sasuke, but the way he was whining reminded Itachi so much of his brother when he was younger.  He was so lost in the familiar feeling, that he tapped the kid in the forehead without even thinking about it.  “OW!  What was that for?”  Itachi winced again at his own foolishness.  He scrambled for something to say.

“It’s still early, kid.”  The kid glared up at him without any malice as he rubbed his forehead.

“I’m not a kid, I’m a ninja!  And it’s not early anymore.  I’ve already been up for hours .”  Itachi resisted the urge to laugh at the kid.  

“Well I’m up now.”  The kid made a big show of rolling his eyes, then he grabbed Itachi’s hand and started pulling him somewhere.  He should’ve pulled his hand away and made some excuse to leave.  Asuma’s nephew was sure to figure out that he was an imposter, but he let the kid lead him out of the building.  He didn’t look anything like Sasuke, but Itachi still saw his younger brother in front of him.  Itachi decided to allow himself this dangerous indulgence, at least for a little while.  

Itachi spent most of the day training with Konohamaru.  He only learned the kid’s name after someone called out a ‘hello’ to him, luckily early in the day.  He taught him a small, fire jutsu, which Konohamaru spent a lot of time just trying to get the hand signs right for.  The kid didn’t give up easily and he was endearing to watch.  With all his responsibilities to the clan and the village, Itachi had never gotten the time to train Sasuke like he had wanted to, but he imagined it would’ve been a lot like this.  It made his chest feel light and made him indulge himself a little longer.  It was almost easy to forget that this wasn’t really his life every time Konohamaru called him Uncle.   

They only stopped training once Konohamaru managed a small burst of fire.  He smiled widely at Itachi once he managed it, and Itachi smiled back just as widely without even thinking about it.  Then the kid ran off saying something about keeping things clean for ‘the boss’, and Itachi watched him until he was out of sight.  

As nice as it had been pretending he was really Asuma for the morning, Itachi knew this was his chance to get back to his own life.  He left the training ground, intending to walk right through the village’s gates.  He had to wave at a handful of people who called out ‘hello’s to Asuma, but luckily no one tried to talk to him.  

But then he ran into Shikamaru, who asked if they were still going to play shogi.  Itachi wanted to say ‘no’, but he was afraid of arousing his suspicion.  He would probably be able to fight his way out of the village if he needed to, but he didn’t know Asuma’ body as well as his own.  A small mistake might be enough for the Leaf to capture him.  So he smiled at Shikamaru and said ‘of course’.

Itachi had never been any good at shogi and lost their game terribly.

When he had agreed to spar with Hidan and Deidara, Asuma had thought he’d get a chance to figure out how to fight in Itachi’s body.  But then he realized they only wanted to spar because he was still graceless and uncoordinated.  It felt like they were just shoving him back and forth between them with well-placed attacks.  He was doing his best to block, but Itachi’s body was so much lighter than his own and they were still able to easily knock him around.  

As they kept sparring, Asuma realized they were just taking advantage of the chance to knock ‘Itachi’ down a peg.  Deidara kept trying to knock him face-first into the dirt.  And Hidan would give him noogies whenever he got the chance.  Worse was the fact that they both kept pulling at his hair.  Asuma kept forgetting about it, unused to thinking about his hair at all.  He would dodge, thinking he was finally getting the hang of Itachi’s wiry frame, and then he would be painfully pulled backwards by the hair.  Hidan laughed wildly every time he managed it, and Deidara would stick all three of his tongues out at him, which still freaked Asuma out every time he saw it. Asuma was thoroughly humiliated even though he knew the true target of their humiliation was Itachi.

They didn’t stop until Asuma was all bruised and out of breath.  Then they both slapped him on the back hard, almost knocking him off of his feet.  Deidara still had a dangerous glint in his eyes, so Asuma decided to hurry back to their hideout before he was the victim of an ‘accident’.  He ached with every step, but also felt a little calmer almost like he had smoked a full pack.

Asuma found a bathroom with a mirror to try and cover the damage before Hoshigaki had a chance to scold him.  It was the first time he was looking at himself in a mirror like this since swapping bodies and it was jarring.  The body in the mirror moved when he moved, but it was still hard thinking of it as himself as it was Itachi’s face.  It was also strange seeing Itachi’s face up close like this without the threat of death just over his shoulder.  Asuma had wanted to be back in his own body since he woke up, but even more so now that he was staring at the other man’s face so closely like this. 

Itachi’s face was covered in dirt and there was the beginning of a black eye starting to bloom.  His ponytail was disheveled, with some leaves stuck in it.  And he looked tired, though Asuma suspected that he always looked tired.  There was nothing to be done for the bruise, so he just sighed to himself at the thought of the lecture he was going to get from Hoshigaki later.  Then he started to wash the dirt off, his face stinging as Deidara had managed to scratch him.  Once all the dirt was gone, he tugged the hair tie out so he could attempt to make that look more presentable too.

Asuma felt even less like himself as Itachi’s hair settled around his face.  He had always known who he was, even with the large shadow of his father hanging over him.  But he felt so far away from himself now standing in an unfamiliar bathroom, surrounded by unfamiliar people, staring at an unfamiliar face.  Him and Itachi would never look similar, but Asuma was still trying to find himself in the reflection.  He pulled out the kunai he had hidden in his sleeve and took it to Itachi’s hair.  He didn’t cut it all off, just enough to feel a little bit more like himself.  Then he shook the rest of the leaves out of Itachi’s hair before leaving the bathroom.  

“Itachi!  What did you-- Asuma .”  Hoshigaki and Konan were standing at the end of the hallway, staring at his hair.  “What part of ‘this body isn’t yours’ aren’t you fucking grasping?”  Asuma rolled his eyes.

“Hair grows back.”  Hoshigaki looked like he had more he wanted to say, but Konan had held a hand up to him.  Then she walked closer, still looking at his hair.  She was frowning a little, but it seemed like she was almost always frowning a little.

“You did a messy job of it.  It needs to be evened out.”  Asuma rolled his eyes again at her. 

“It’s just hair.  It’s not like--”  He stopped talking as Konan leveled a look at him so reminiscent of Kurenai that he almost forgot where he was.  

“It needs to be evened out.”  She walked off, and Asuma followed without needing to be told to.

Asuma followed Konan outside and then sat on the ground in the spot she pointed to.  He was nervous as she quietly settled behind him, but her touch was gentle.  She combed through his hair, careful of knots.  Then Asuma could feel a kunai at the back of his neck.  He only felt more nervous as she stayed quiet.

Silence had never sat well with Asuma, especially as he had always been surrounded by some sort of noise.  He felt strange sitting there quietly now with Konan so close.  So he started talking, more to fill the space than anything else.  

“Would Itachi really have noticed it was uneven?”  Her hands paused for a moment at his question.  

“Yes.  He’s very….particular.”  Her hands paused again, probably because Asuma’s laugh startled her.  

“Particular’s a nice way to say that.  I have a friend like that too.”  Asuma was thinking of Kakashi and his ever-present mask.  The thought made him feel homesick even though he hadn’t been away from the Leaf long.  He kept talking, hoping to distract himself.  “You have very gentle hands.”  Asuma winced as she suddenly pulled his hair hard.  

“Flattery won’t get you anywhere.”  Asuma felt even more homesick as he remembered a much younger Kurenai telling him the same thing years ago.  But it was a fond sort of homesickness as he thought about her.  

“I don’t want it to get me anywhere.”  Konan hummed in response, continuing to cut his hair.

“If you truly mean that….then thank you.”  Her voice was quiet, but they were sitting together so closely that Asuma didn’t have any trouble hearing her.  He smiled to himself and then decided to stay quiet, ending the conversation on a good note.

When Asuma looked in the mirror again later, he couldn't see much difference in Itachi's hair from the way he had cut it.  But he had never really been one to notice those sorts of things.

Itachi had reluctantly spent another night in Asuma's apartment as he ran into Anko while trying to sneak out the gates.  She wasn't suspicious of him, which was good, but had wanted to talk to him, which wasn't good.  She spent almost all of the night complaining about people Itachi didn't really know.  He made vague agreements and said 'hm' a lot, which apparently wasn't too out of character for Asuma.  She ended up walking him back to 'his' apartment, so Itachi was trapped there for another sleepless night.

Trying to sneak out early didn't work again either.  Kotetsu and Izumo had assumed he was stopping by to talk to them, and Itachi found himself in another conversation he couldn't figure out how to escape.  He never considered that Asuma would be this popular and it was a little infuriating to deal with.  A large part of him wanted to do the foolish thing and bolt, but he didn't like acting on impulse like that.  So he stayed there, trapped by his own idea of politeness, trying to figure out what Asuma would say.

Itachi was ultimately saved from the conversation by Kurenai, but being alone with her only made him more nervous.  She had gently taken his hand and led him away from the other ninjas, who winked at him as they left.  He stayed quiet as he wasn't sure what to say, but she didn't seem to mind.  She just kept their hands clasped together, which felt strange.  Nothing about Asuma's body felt similar to his own, but the differences seemed even more obvious now with the way Kurenai's hand felt so small as he held it.  His palm also felt incredibly sweaty, but Kurenai didn't seem to mind that.  She just kept pulling him towards some unknown destination.

Eventually they stopped at an empty bench that didn't seem to have much significance.  Kurenai sat down, pulling Itachi with her.  She kept their hands clasped together and was just looking at him.  The way she was looking at him was attentive, but also soft, like there was no rush because they were the only two people in the world.  It was just a look, but it was incredibly intimate .  No one had ever looked at Itachi like that before, and he felt incredibly guilty intruding on this moment now as this look wasn't really meant for him.  His heart started to race as Kurenai smiled at him.

"It's been a while since we've had a quiet moment alone like this."  She said it so quietly that Itachi had to lean closer to hear her.  

"Yeah it has."  His voice was higher than he wanted it to be, but Kurenai didn't seem to notice.  She finally let go of his hand, only to grab his arm instead.

"I've missed you, Asuma."  Itachi started to panic as she was suddenly leaning in much closer.  He had never been kissed before, but it was clear that Asuma and Kurenai had kissed many times.  He felt even guiltier at his accidental deception and stood up in a rush before she could kiss him.

"I just remembered that I have….uh….I have to go."  Itachi rushed off, feeling terrible at the clear rejection on her face as he left.  

Itachi still felt panicked when he ran into Shikamaru, so he said 'yes' to a game of shogi without even really thinking about it.  He lost terribly.

Asuma had only been stuck with the Akatsuki for a few days, but it felt like a lifetime, especially with his utter exhaustion.  He hadn’t been able to sleep surrounded by dangerous criminals, especially Hoshigaki who Itachi apparently shared a room with.  The other man also snored, and his strange sword made noises to itself all night.  It was unbearable and made Asuma long for his quiet apartment back home.

His inability to sleep only made his body ache more, especially with all the bruises he had gotten from Hidan and Deidara.  They had asked him to spar again with matching, mischievous smiles, which Asuma declined thinking they might actually kill him this time.  He figured he’d be able to find something to occupy himself with, but he had severely underestimated how boring Itachi was.  Itachi had a lot of weapons, books on chakra and jutsus, and random notebooks full of some kind of code.  None of it held Asuma’s interest for more than a moment.  He started wandering around the hideout hoping to run into someone.  No one in the Akatsuki was his idea of a good time, but he was desperate enough to spend time with anyone at that point.

It felt like a small victory when he found Kakuzu in front of a shogi board.  The board was set up in a pretty standard pattern, so he assumed the older man was practicing game strategies.  He knew Kakuzu had heard him approach, so he waited for him to say something.  But after a very long moment he realized the other man was just pretending like he wasn’t there.  He rolled his eyes at the childish rudeness of the man, but decided to do something just as childish.  He sat down on the other side of the board.

"Want a partner?"  Kakuzu didn't even look up at his question.

"No.  I don't have the patience to teach you how to play."  Asuma bit back his laugh as he got an idea.

"I know how to play."  That got Kakuzu to look up at him.  Asuma thought he was raising an eyebrow, but it was hard to tell with the mask.  "We could even make it more interesting if you wanted."  

"Interesting how?"  Kakuzu sounded equal parts disgusted and interested.

"We bet on it."  It looked like Kakuzu was smiling, but that was also hard to tell through the mask.  He moved all the pieces to their starting positions.

"Ante up, Sarutobi."  Asuma bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from smiling.  He pulled out some of Itachi's money and put it on the ground next to the board.  Kakuzu added some of his own and then made the first move.

Asuma lost the first few games, lulling Kakuzu into overconfidence.  He acted put out by his losses.  And then he started playing seriously.  He had to keep himself from laughing as Kakuzu’s frown became more and more pronounced, even through the mask.  The older man never gave up though, he just doubled down on trying to win his money back.  Sasori wandered in at some point, but he didn't say much, seemingly content with just watching them.  It seemed like he liked watching Kakuzu lose, but Asuma couldn't tell for certain. 

"Asuma, what're you--oh."  Hoshigaki burst into the room in a rush, but seemed to deflate as he realized Asuma wasn't causing any trouble.  He gave the shark-like man a smug sort of smile.

"Playing shogi, you know unless that's also something Itachi's not allowed to do."  Hoshigaki rolled his eyes at Asuma's childish antagonism.

" Itachi's allowed to do whatever he wants.  You're not.  But uhhh I’m sorry for assuming the worst.”  Hoshigaki sounded awkward as he rubbed the back of his neck.  Asuma felt a smug sort of satisfaction at getting one over on him.  But then he saw the exact moment Hoshigaki noticed the pile of money on the ground.  “.....is that Itachi’s money?”  

“Uh...no?”

Itachi had gotten trapped in the Leaf for another night, cornered by more of Asuma’s friends.  At first he thought they were finally getting suspicious of him, but then he realized Asuma really was just that popular.  He was roped into a long night of drinks with Genma and Gai, who had to help him stumble back to Asuma’s apartment late that night.

When he woke up in the morning, Itachi was determined to finally leave the Leaf.  He was going to walk straight out of the gates, without letting anyone say ‘hello’ to him.  He kept his eyes on his feet, walked quickly, and made it pretty far.

“Asuma Sensei!”  Ino shouted after him, but Itachi kept walking, acting like he couldn’t hear her.  He sighed to himself as he heard her start to run after him and then sped up.  “ASUMA SENSEI!”  Ino sped up too, and this time her shout was so loud there wasn’t any way he wouldn’t have heard it.  He sighed again and then stopped walking.

“What’s up, Ino?”  Itachi knew he probably didn’t sound as patient as Asuma would’ve, but he didn’t really care about getting found out anymore.  All he cared about was finally getting back into his own body.  Ino glared at him.

"What did you do to Kurenai Sensei?"  Itachi frowned at her question.

"Nothing."  She narrowed her eyes further.

"Obviously you did something. She's upset."  Itachi felt guilty as he remembered Kurenai's hurt look from the day before, but he shook his head, trying to dispel the thought.

"That doesn't mean I did something."  Ino rolled her eyes at him.

"Then why do you look so guilty?"  Itachi flushed as he did feel guilty.  "Anyway it doesn't really matter.  What matters is that it's your job to make her feel better."

"Why's it my job?"  Ino rolled her eyes again, this time slower and more exaggerated.

"Poor Kurenai Sensei."  She mumbled it mostly to herself, but Itachi still heard her clearly.  "Because you're her boyfriend, duh .  Come on, I'll help you fix this."  Ino grabbed his hand and started pulling him somewhere.  Itachi should've just pulled his hand away and run off, but he was still thinking about the way Kurenai looked at him the day before.  It wasn't his life, but he felt oddly terrible at the thought of messing it up.  He would make sure he hadn't accidentally broken Asuma and Kurenai up and then he'd leave.

Ino pulled him all the way to her family's flower shop.  Then she pushed him towards the most expensive flowers they had.  Itachi laughed a little at her ulterior motive, but did consider all the flowers she pointed out to him.  He had never bought flowers for anyone before, so wasn't exactly sure what would make one better than another.  He wished he knew what kind of things Kurenai even liked , but then figured his best guess would have to be good enough.  

Itachi ended up buying a large, expensive bouquet of flowers the same shade of red as Kurenai's eyes.

It took him a while to figure out which door was the right one, but eventually Itachi was standing outside of Kurenai's apartment.  He was nervous as he knocked on the door, holding the flowers a little too tightly.  Kurenai looked surprised and then confused as she opened the door.

"Asuma?"  Itachi was at a sudden loss as to what to say, so he just held the flowers out towards her.  She didn't take them.  "What're these for?"  

"I wanted to uh….say sorry about yesterday."  She still didn't take the flowers, and Itachi's stomach sank as he realized she was waiting for more of an explanation.  "I was….uh…"  He had no idea what kind of excuse Asuma would give and thinking about Kisame only seemed to make him more flustered.  "Nervous."  Kuranei raised an eyebrow at him.

"You were nervous?"  He winced as her tone was heavy with disbelief.  Itachi carefully considered what he was going to say next as he seemed to only be making things worse.

"I was.  I love you."  Her expression immediately softened, and Itachi hoped Asuma had already said that to her before.  "But sometimes I just get nervous that I'm doing something wrong or there's someone better for you out there."  She finally took the flowers from him, holding them gently as if they were something precious.  

“You have nothing to be nervous about.”  She smiled at him kindly, and Itachi smiled back without even thinking about it.  He was so wrapped up in congratulating himself on the small victory, that he didn’t really think about the way Kurenai was leaning in close.  So he was startled when she kissed him. 

Itachi had never given much thought to being kissed before, especially as he had other things to worry about.  He had no idea if this was what kissing always felt like or maybe it was just what kissing Kurenai was like.  But it was awkward .  He still wasn’t used to being this tall, so was holding his head weird.  His lips were too dry while hers were too wet.  And he had absolutely no idea what to do with his hands.  But he did his best to try and kiss back.

Kurenai had a thoughtful look as they pulled away from each other.  Itachi smiled at her, hoping it looked charming, but knowing it probably fell a bit flat.  She gave him a small smile back.  

“I need to put these in some water and then I have a few other things to finish up.  But we’re still on for later, right?”  Itachi felt like he was going to be stuck as Asuma forever as he nodded.  Kurenai’s smile twitched a little.  “Great!  I’ll meet you at your place.”  And then she took a step back and shut her door.

Itachi stood there for a moment before sighing to himself.  Then he walked back to Asuma’s apartment and just sat there, thinking about all the things he should’ve been doing instead.

Asuma was starting to get worried that Zetsu was never coming back with his body.  It had been days and no one had seen the plant-like man.  He had run out of things to do to keep himself occupied, especially as Kakuzu wouldn’t play shogi with him anymore.  So he was just sitting around, bored out of his mind.

“Ohhh!!  Asuma Sensei!”  Tobi, the kid the Akatsuki kept around for some reason, was running up to him with a box in hands.  He had taken to calling Asuma ‘Sensei’ ever since he found out that he was a jonin instructor.  “Tobi got you something!”  He shoved the box into Asuma’s hands.

Asuma opened the box slowly, afraid this was another prank of Tobi’s.  But he was surprised to find it was full of dango.  It even looked like Tobi had gotten all of his favorite flavors.  Asuma was oddly touched.  “How did you know I liked dango, Tobi?”  The kid started rubbing the back of his neck.

“Ah, just a good guess!  And Itachi likes dango.”  Asuma couldn’t see the kid’s face as he always wore that bright orange mask, but he imagined that Tobi was giving him a goofy sort of smile.  The kid reminded him of Konohamaru a bit, and it made Asuma feel homesick.  He reached out and tousled the kid’s hair without even thinking about it.  Tobi went still for the first time since Asuma met him, which was when he realized he was being weird.  He pulled his hand back quickly.

“Sorry!  You just really remind me of someone I know.”  Asuma was nervous as Tobi was still standing quietly.  “Tobi?”

“It’s alright.  I really didn’t mind.”  Tobi’s voice was a little deeper than it normally was, and Asuma felt a shiver go down his spine as if he had just caught a chill.  “Have you figured out how to use the sharingan yet?”  Asuma blinked a few times as Tobi’s voice was suddenly back to normal.

“No, and I don’t think I ever will.”  Asuma was still a little disappointed that he couldn’t figure it out.  He was confident in his own abilities as a ninja, but it also would’ve been cool to use the legendary sharingan just once.

“Tobi can give you a hint!”  He looked around as he spoke and then leaned in close to Asuma.  “You gotta push your chakra behind your eyes.  Okay?”  

“Uh….okay?”  Asuma startled as Tobi straightened back up suddenly.

“Okay!  Good luck Asuma Sensei!”  Tobi gave him an odd sort of salute before running off.  Asuma laughed a little to himself at the kid’s strangeness and then started eating his dango.  He smiled to himself as it really was all of his favorite flavors.

Asuma didn’t have much faith in Tobi’s hint, but, as he didn’t have anything else to do, he decided to try activating the sharingan again.  He found the closest mirror and then just stood in front of it, staring at Itachi’s eyes.  They were black, which was what he expected.  He tried pushing his chakra into them, but they stayed black. Then he tried to figure out what Tobi meant by behind his eyes.  His brain was behind his eyes, but he didn’t think sending a wave of chakra there was a smart idea.  So he tried to imagine the space just behind his eyes, what it might look like.  Then he pushed a little bit of chakra towards this imagined place.

He yelled in surprise as everything was suddenly tinted red.  Then he yelled again in excitement as he never thought he'd actually get the sharingan to work.  But now that it worked he had no idea what to do with it.  Kakashi had never told anyone how his sharingan worked, preferring to keep it hidden, and, despite all his talk of unlocking it, Obito hadn't gotten his own sharingan until it was almost too late.  He knew it was supposed to help with genjutsus, but it wasn't like he had anyone to test that out on.  Though if he really was trapped in Itachi's body forever he'd eventually get a chance.  Asuma sighed to himself, but then decided to go find an Akatsuki member so he could give them a scare.

Asuma felt like he was on a boat as he tried to move.  There was a lag between what he was feeling and what he was seeing, and the difference almost made him seasick.  It also made him feel like he was about to fall over, so he quickly pushed most of his chakra towards his feet.  He pushed more chakra to that area just behind his eyes too without meaning to, and it felt like his head was going to explode.  His chakra flared and now he was actually falling. 

Asuma tensed, ready to feel even worse as he hit the ground, but the collision never came.  Hoshigaki caught him in time and was looking at him in concern.  He was holding Asuma tightly, but gently, and Asuma felt even more out of place than he usually did.

"Thanks for the save, Hoshigaki."  Asuma sounded as awkward as he felt.  Their faces were so close together that he could see the moment Hoshigaki remembered that he wasn't Itachi.

"What were you doing this time?"  He sounded both incredibly annoyed and incredibly tired.

"Nothing!  I accidentally activated the sharingan and got overwhelmed."  Hoshigaki's face softened the smallest bit.  

"Yeah the sharingan's more trouble than it's worth."  Hoshigaki said it more to himself than to Asuma, but he heard it clearly anyway.  He also realized something suddenly.

"Oh!  So you and Itachi are….."  Asuma wasn't sure what word to use.  Boyfriends felt too juvenile, especially for international criminals.  Partners meant something specific in the Akatsuki.  So he had to go with the most awkward choice of words.  "......lovers?"  Hoshigaki's entire face turned an interesting shade of purple all at once.

"What?!   No!  Me and Itachi?  Hah why would you even….no definitely not!"  Hoshigaki was flustered and looking everywhere but at Asuma.  He bit back his laugh.

"So you're just mother-henning because you respect him that much?"  He couldn't completely keep his laughter out of his voice, but Hoshigaki didn't seem to notice.

"Of course I respect him, we're partners.  Partners only."  His face became a darker shade of purple.

"Right.  So you've been in love with him for a long time then?"  Hoshigaki made an odd choking noise in response to him.  

"I...you…."  He looked like he wanted to strangle Asuma.  But eventually he sighed, and it sounded defeated.  "Yeah.  But it’s not like anything will ever come of it."  Asuma patted his arm.

"I get it."  Hoshigaki raised an eyebrow at him.

"You?  Yeah right."

“I do!  I’ve been in love with the same girl my whole life.”  Everything about Asuma softened as he thought about Kurenai.  “She’s amazing and way, way out of my league.  Always has been.  I never even considered that I’d have a shot with her, but also thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask.  I’m still surprised that she loves me back and it’s been years.”  Asuma lost himself in a memory of Kurenai for a moment,  but then Hoshigaki cleared his throat loudly.  He was giving Asuma a look that clearly asked ‘so what’.  “So Itachi might surprise you too, Hoshigaki.”  

“Kisame.”  He started rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly as Asuma looked at him in confusion.  “Uh I mean, could you call me Kisame?  I know you’re not Itachi, but it's still his voice and it’s...well it’s just weird.”  Asuma laughed loudly, only getting louder as Kisame glared at him.  “Stop laughing asshole.”  

“Make me, Kisame .”  Asuma wasn’t sure there was a name for the odd color Kisame’s face just turned.

“Don’t make this weird.”  Kisame’s voice was pitched all weird, and Asuma wanted to laugh again.  But he was afraid Kisame might actually kill him, Itachi’s body or not, so he kept himself quiet until the other man’s face turned back into a bluer kind of color.  

“Obviously I’m not Itachi and I don’t really know him, but I think you should tell him how you feel.  I don’t think saying it will ruin anything.”  Kisame hummed thoughtfully in response.

“Maybe.  Though if he’s stuck in your body forever I don’t think I’d want to confess.”  Kisame’s voice had a jovial sort of tone that made it clear he didn’t want to talk as seriously anymore.  Asuma allowed the conversational tone change, especially as he understood what Kisame meant.

“Hey!  Are you trying to call me ugly or something?”  Kisame laughed loudly at his offended tone.  

“I mean I don’t know for sure, but yeah I imagine you’re ugly.”  Kisame had a sharp grin as he said it, and Asuma was almost actually offended, especially as they had met before this whole bodyswap issue.  

“You’ve seen me before!”  Kisame frowned in thought.

“No, I don’t think so.”  Asuma knew he wasn’t as famous as Kakashi or anything, but he thought he was at least a little memorable. 

“You have!  Back when you and Itachi broke into the Leaf a couple of years ago.  We fought and everything.”

“Oh I remember!  You’re that ugly guy with the bowl cut, right?”  Being mistaken for Gai made Asuma want to scream.  But he just settled for punching Kisame hard on the shoulder.  Kisame laughed loudly in response, probably not even feeling the punch.  Then Asuma realized the other man did remember him and was just winding him up.

“Oh fuck off, Hoshigaki.”  Kisame’s loud laugh echoed throughout the room.

Itachi had been just sitting on Asuma’s bed waiting for Kurenai so he could hurry through whatever plans her and Asuma had.  Then he was actually going to run out of the village and not let himself get caught up in Asuma’s life anymore.  It would be easy as long as he didn’t overthink it.  He immediately sprung to his feet when he heard a knock on Asuma’s door.

Kurenai was in the doorway, but she wasn’t alone.  Ino, Shikamaru, and Choji were all with her and they pushed their way into the apartment as soon as the door opened.  Kurenai followed them in, shutting the door behind her.  And Itachi wished he had an idea as to what they were all supposed to be doing. 

“Hey guys.”  He smiled and hoped it didn’t look nervous.  

“Hey Asuma Sensei.  You’re still treating me to barbeque tonight, right?”  Choji was looking at him hopefully.  Itachi might have felt more reluctant to agree if he would’ve been using his own money, but, as it was Asuma’s, he just widened his smile a little.

“Yeah of course.”  Itachi suddenly felt paralazyed, held still as if by a genjutsu.  He couldn’t even turn his neck, which made him feel more vulnerable than he would've liked.   

“Who are you?”  Itachi wasn’t going to ask Shikamaru how he figured out he wasn’t Asuma.  He already knew the answer--all of the little things he had gotten wrong had finally become enough to notice.  Itachi didn’t answer his question, but sighed a little in relief at no longer having to pretend to be Asuma.

“It took you all longer to notice than I thought it would.  But who I am isn’t important.  What is important is that I know where Asuma is and I’ve been trying to get to him to switch our bodies back.”  Ino was suddenly in front of him, and Itachi was worried she was able to peek into his mind.

“ How did you switch bodies with him?”

“It was your new jutsu.”  Ino’s eyes widened, and Itachi could hear Shikamaru mutter something that sounded like ‘what a drag’ from behind him.

“OH!  I’m so sorry fake Asuma Sensei!”  Ino’s voice wavered, and Itachi hoped she wasn’t about to start crying.  

“It’s okay Ino.”  Kurenai’s voice was calm as she moved to stand next to Ino.  “We’re going to find Asuma and put him back in his body.  Now you--”  She leveled a stony look at Itachi.  “You said you know where Asuma is.  How can you be sure?”  

“Because he’s in my body.  I’m certain my...friends are keeping an eye on him.”  Kurenai frowned at his answer.

“What if they haven’t noticed you’re missing?”  

“I’m certain they have.  They’re very perceptive.  I’m also certain they’ll be able to swap us back, so you just need to let me get to them.”  Kurenai shook her head at him.

“Not alone.  If you can’t trust us with your name then we can’t trust you with Asuma’s body.”  Itachi grit his teeth and tried to think of what to say to convince her.

“Hellllllllo.”  Everyone stared at Zetsu, who had suddenly sprung up out of the floor.  Itachi found himself able to move again as Shikamaru dropped his jutsu, probably in surprise.  “Ready to leave, Itachi?”  He glared at Zetsu as Ino and Choji both gasped loudly.  “You know that isn’t as scary without the sharingan.”  

“What took you so long, Zetsu?”  

“I was having fun watching you both.”  Itachi narrowed his eyes even further, but Zetsu really was unaffected by his glare.  “Anyway let’s go.  I’m not having fun anymore.”  Itachi rolled his eyes, but did start to walk over to the plant-like man.  

“You’re not going anywhere without us.”  Kurenai grabbed his arm and held it tightly.  Itachi knew he could’ve easily yanked himself free, but he didn’t.  He could understand their nervousness, especially with his reputation in the village.  But he also couldn’t lead them to the Akatsuki’s hideout.  

“Alright.  Zetsu, tell them to meet us at the border of Rain and Fire.”  Zetsu gave Itachi a strange sort of look at his request, but didn’t question it.

“Okay.  Bye Itachi!”  Zetsu was gone just as suddenly as he had arrived.  But that unfortunately left Itachi alone in a room full of people who only believed the worst of him.  Kurenai was still holding onto his arm with her tight grip.

“Ino, Choji, Shikamaru go get your packs and meet us at the gates in ten minutes.”  They nodded almost in unison before disappearing out of Asuma’s window.  Then Kurenai was giving him her stony look again.  “Why were you pretending to be Asuma?”

“I wanted to be able to leave without arousing suspicion.”  She hummed thoughtfully.

“Why buy me flowers?”  Itachi blushed at her question.

“I….I didn’t want to harm your relationship with Asuma.  I had hoped to leave things as I had found them.”  She hummed again before finally letting go of his arm.

“If you try to run, I’ll kill you.”  He knew she wouldn’t actually be able to go through with it while he was in Asuma’s body, but he just nodded at her.  She looked at him for a long moment and then walked off, probably to grab a pack.

Itachi knew there was still plenty of time for things to go wrong, but some of the tension drained from his shoulders at the thought that he’d be back in his body soon.

Asuma started to feel a childish sort of excitement with every step he took towards his body.  He had almost strangled Zetsu when he came back without his body, but he had at least brought news about it.  They were almost at the meeting spot, which meant he was finally almost back in his body and out of Itachi’s achy one.  It also meant he was close to Kurenai as Zetsu said she had insisted on coming.  Asuma felt a strong wave of fondness for her when he heard that and could barely wait to see her again.

Kurenai had gotten to the meeting spot first, and Asuma had to stop himself from running over to her.  His heart twisted as he noticed his students were there too.  But then he noticed his own body and felt strange looking it over. It looked exactly the same as he remembered it, like it was just a shadow clone or something.  Itachi was looking him over too, probably feeling just as strange.  Asuma remembered the black eye he had gotten as Itachi's look lingered on his face.

"You cut my hair."  It was strange hearing his own voice from outside of himself.  

"Sorry I didn't stop him, Itachi.  I only found out when it was too late."  Kisame genuinely sounded apologetic.

"It's alright Kisame.  It at least looks even."  Asuma pretended not to notice the smug look Konan was giving him. 

"Itachi, Asuma."  Pein stepped away from the rest of the group as he said their names.  Then he looked at each of them expectantly.  Asuma walked over without even thinking about it.  Itachi took a step towards them, but Kurenai grabbed his arm before he could take another.

"What're you going to do to them?"  Asuma fell a little more in love with Kurenai right then as he watched her stare down a rinnegan.

"Swap their souls back."  She nodded at Pein's answer but didn't let go of Itachi yet.

"And what guarantee do I have that you'll swap both of them back and not just let Asuma's soul float off?"  Kurenai's question reminded Asuma that the original plan was just to let his soul float off.  With everything that had happened he had somehow forgotten all about that.  Now he was starting to panic as he thought that the Akatsuki might also just kill Kurenai and his students.

"I don't know what kind of guarantee you're looking for, but you have my word that I won't kill Asuma.  Over these past few days he's endeared himself to us, which is practically impossible in itself."  Asuma felt oddly touched, especially hearing this from Pein who he had barely interacted with.

"And now that I'm getting a good look at him, Asthma's a beefcake.  If he's dead he can't come back for a spar later."  Hidan winked as he finished speaking, and Asuma blushed without wanting to.  Kurenai looked at Hidan suspiciously, but did also let go of Itachi's arm.  

"I know I won't be able to kill all of you, but I'll give it my best try if you're lying."  Kurenai's voice sounded firm, but, because Asuma knew her better than he knew himself, he could hear the slight waver in it.  Pein just nodded at her slowly.

It was strange watching his own body walk over and then it felt even stranger needing to tilt his head back to look at his own face.  Itachi kept walking until their toes were almost touching, and Asuma suddenly felt crowded.  Pein put a hand on top of each of their heads, and then the three of them just stood there for a moment.  Asuma had no idea what to expect and hoped it wouldn't be too painful.  He closed his eyes tightly and tensed in anticipation.

Asuma slowly opened his eyes as he still hadn't felt anything at all.  He looked at Pein, intending to ask him why it didn't work, but then he noticed he wasn't looking up at the man anymore.  Then he looked back in front of himself and whooped when he saw Itachi standing there.  He rushed over to Kurenai, not wanting to waste another second, and kissed her until he was breathless.  He heard a few of the Akatsuki whistle at them, but he didn't really pay them any mind.

"I missed you so much, Kurenai."  Asuma's voice wavered a little, but he was too happy to be embarrassed about it. He had expected her to say it back, but instead she wasn't meeting his eyes.  He was suspicious, especially as Ino, Choji, and Shikmaru wouldn't meet his eyes either.  "Oh my god.  None of you even noticed I was missing, did you?"  

"We noticed….eventually."  Kurenai sounded guilty about her answer.  

"They noticed I wasn't Itachi as soon as I woke up."  Asuma knew he sounded whiny, but he couldn't believe that none of them noticed anything wrong.

"I'm a better liar than you are."  Itachi said it as if he was stating a well-known fact.  "Pretending to be you was relatively simple."  Asuma's mood dropped a little further at the easy way Itachi had just called him simple.  "I apologize, I don't think that came across the way I had intended it to.  You wear what's important to you on your sleeve, so they were simple to figure out.  You love your family, your students, your village, and Kurenai, so I just tried to honor those feelings.  You're an admirable and honorable man, Asuma.  While I hope this doesn't happen again, it was a privilege getting to be you for a few days."  Itachi's voice was flat and even, but Asuma could tell that he truly meant it.  He suddenly felt overwhelmed at Itachi's praise.

"If it helps, I missed you as soon as I realized you were gone."  Kurenai tugged on his hand as she said it, making sure his attention was back on her.

"It does help."  They smiled at each other softly, almost forgetting their audience.

"Did you miss me , Itachi?"  Kisame's joking tone broke the small moment that had been building between them.  

"Of course.  I found myself unable to sleep without you nearby."  Itachi said it like it was a normal thing to say, but Asuma could see the way Kisame's neck had turned purple.  He looked at the shark-like man with a raised eyebrow.

"You must be an idiot, Kisame.  This is your chance to go for it."  Everyone looked at Asuma as he spoke, but then they looked at Kisame right after.  He was glaring at Asuma, but the threat was softened by the deep purple color of his face.

"What's he talking about, Kisame?"  Itachi sounded curious.

"Nothing!"  Asuma laughed at Kisame's flustered tone.  Itachi looked like he didn't believe him, but he didn't press it, probably deciding to wait until they were alone.

"We cannot afford to linger here any longer."  Pein hadn't raised his voice at all to speak, but he captured everyone's attention anyway.  "I cannot promise anything, but if you ever need our help you know where to find us."  

"Though we won't help for free.  We're not a charity."  Kakuzu was quick to add that to Pein's offer.  Asuma laughed loudly, now used to that man's greediness.  "You're always welcome back for a rematch though, as long as you bring enough money to lose."  He laughed even louder, thinking of the large debt Kakuzu had racked up the last time they played.

"Maybe I’ll take you up one that, Kakuzu."  The older man gave him a lazy wave before turning around and walking off.  Hidan followed after a quick wink to Asuma.  

Sasori left without saying anything at all, but Asuma wasn't offended.  He only heard the puppet master say a few sentences the entire time he was there.  Deidara stuck all three tongues out at him, which still freaked him out, before running off with a loud laugh.  Konan gave him the world's smallest smile before leaving with Pein.

And then Kisame and Itachi were the only ones left.  Asuma and Itachi looked at each other for a long moment before the smaller man bowed his head.  Then he left quietly.  Kisame followed after giving Asuma a sharp smile.  

"I'm sorry I bodyswapped you with an international criminal, Asuma Sensei."  Ino sounded incredibly guilty, but Asuma just smiled at her.

"It's okay Ino.  Just no more trying to invent jutsus, okay?"  

"Okay."  Asuma saw Shikamaru roll his eyes, probably because he also knew she was going to try again anyway.  Asuma felt a wave of fondness for his students.

"Hey, do you guys want to get barbeque when we get back?"

"YES!"  Choji answered loudly and for everyone. Then he immediately grabbed Ino and Shikamaru and started pulling them towards the Leaf.  Asuma and Kurenai followed at a much slower pace with their fingers twined together.

Asuma knew right then that he wouldn't trade his life for anything.  As dangerous as it was, Asuma liked wearing his heart on his sleeve, keeping the most important things in reach.  He was a good ninja and a pretty good man, but he wouldn’t be anything without the people around him.  He squeezed Kurenai’s hand once just because he could and liked the way she squeezed back.