Work Text:
are you going to the shops today?
I can if you need me to.
plz buy more cereal we’re out and i’m blaming you because you eat my cereal more frequently than i do
As long as you refill my almond milk supply. I’m sure you’re the one drinking it, because I know I’m not.
i wouldn’t drink ur milk if you didn’t eat all of my cereal, jerk
It isn’t my fault that your favourite cereal also happens to be MY favourite cereal!
also when you do the tesco’s run you should pick up some wine bc louise is coming over this weekend with matt and darcy
I’ll be sure to buy toddler-friendly wine.
is that sass i detect?
My banter levels are through the roof.
#bants
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New video idea for April or May: a spring-themed day in the life? We could actually go outside and spend some time in the sunshine!
why go outside when we could stay inside?
Dan… :(
fine, i’ll consider it x
:D Yay! Where should we go for the video? I would like some bubble tea when we do it, we haven’t gotten any in ages.
bubble tea would be orgasmic, thx. we could go back to trafalgar square and poke around the nature bits instead of the statues this time.
Why do you have such a sexual relationship with food? The gardens sound like a good idea, then I can eat the flowers!
...why do you want to eat flowers
They’re pretty and I want to be pretty too!
ur already pretty, phil xx
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will you bring my laptop to the stairwell.
Uh, sure. Are you doing all right?
no
Okay.
thx for the tea and the cuddle, too. you didn’t have to do that
I’d do anything for you. :) x
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i’m going to tell you something through post-it note because i’m afraid to tell you this to your face
...Okay. You didn’t kill someone, did you?
i just want to ask why we aren’t dating because i think we’re perfect for each other and i really like you a lot and i don’t know if i could ever see myself dating anyone else.
phil?
i’m sorry i won’t bring it up again just forget i [there’s a wet smudge on the post-it note, rendering the rest of the message illegible]
- - -
Dan, I haven’t seen you round the flat in a few days, where are you hiding?
don’t talk to me
Dan, please. I’m sorry.
oh that’s right you’re phil fucking lester you can say sorry and i’ll forgive you like a fucking idiot every time is that what you’re trying to do
No! Dan, please come talk to me, I don’t want this to happen this way.
leave me alone
Please, Dan. Please.
- - -
i’m sorry
Why?
i’ve been avoiding you and you just want to talk so i’m sorry
It’s okay. I’ve been worse, really.
Do you want to talk to me now?
not yet not in person if that’s okay i’m so sorry
I’ll ask you here then.
ask me what?
If you’d like to date me. I thought about what you said and you’re right there’s no reason we shouldn’t be dating. I like you a lot too and you make my heart flip over like it’s eaten butterflies.
oh my god, phil
i’m going to fucking kill you
Please don’t kill me!
i’ve been upset for DAYS bc i thought you were going to hate me and NOW you tell me you want to date
When you put it that way…
just come fucking kiss me before i change my mind
I’ll be there soon. x