Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandoms:
Relationship:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Series:
Part 3 of Stories and Poems of Antonio Penn
Collections:
The Collected Works of Antonio Penn
Stats:
Published:
2021-10-13
Words:
391
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
44
Kudos:
150
Bookmarks:
8
Hits:
991

Uninvited Heartguest

Summary:

I don’t know when I told you you could move into my heart
I never gave permission for my soul to split apart

I didn’t mean to care for you, I never meant to fall
How did I come to love you? For I cannot quite recall

~ ~ ~

Attributed to nineteenth-century poet Antonio Penn.

Notes:

For context to this poem, see the first work in this series — Thoughts that Breathe and Words that Burn. If you haven't and don't want to read that story, though, it's fine; all you really need to know is that Crowley writes poetry.

Quick note! I know poetry isn't everyone's cup of tea, so in case you subscribed to the series because you're interested in reading more Antonio Penn stories once they are written, but would like to skip getting notifications for the other poems I'll be adding to this series, feel free to leave a comment on the origin story asking for prose-only notifications, and I can reply there to let you know when the sequel is up.

Anyway, assuming you are here for poetry, hope you enjoy this. My first poem in a couple years... so, of course, we begin with rhyming couplets. ;)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

I don’t know when I told you you could move into my heart
I never gave permission for my soul to split apart

I didn’t mean to care for you, I never meant to fall
How did I come to love you? For I cannot quite recall

I wonder if it started in the shelter of the storm
Was it there beneath the lightning that the light of love was born?

I never thought I’d love you; I didn’t know I’d care
Yet if that was the Beginning, then I wasn’t yet aware

I think perhaps it started when I looked into your eyes
And saw you looking back at me — a sudden, soft demise

You wouldn’t turn away, and I felt sure that I’d been seen
I was sure you’d turn against me, and I feared what that might mean

Yet you never strove to harm me, never raised a hand to smite
No matter when we quibbled about what was Wrong or Right

I met you and I marveled, ‘til amazement turned to more
I suppose that’s when it started — when I started to adore

Was it doom or intuition? Was it always bound to be?
Or was it merely luck that you are now a part of me?

You live inside my head, you know; you’re here when I’m alone
I’m uncertain if you know it, but my heart is now your home

I don’t know how it happened; I just feel that here you are
A warmth and light more stellary than my most distant star

You truly are beloved (as I wish that I could say)
Touch my hand next time we part (though how I wish that we could stay)

I am not sure where it started, and I fear I’ll never know
All I know is that you’re here now (and I hope you never go)

If I’ve loved you since the dawn of time, I’ll love you ‘til its end
I may never dare to tell you, but please know you are my friend

And yet though you are an angel like the dawning in the east
Though you gifted blade and fire and a gift of care unleashed

Though your eyes are like the morning and your smile like the sun
I still never gave permission for my heart to be undone

Notes:

Loosely inspired by that quote from David Tennant: "Crowley absolutely loves Aziraphale. He hates that he loves him. It's really annoying for him."

I accidentally ended up on a bit of a poetry-writing roll for this Poet!Crowley 'verse. So if you're interested, keep an eye on this series for more poetry by "Antonio Penn" in the coming weeks (interspersed with a number of backlogged ficlets/prompt fills that I will be back to posting soon, for any of my regular readers who may be wondering about that). :) If you have any thoughts, feels, etc. to share, I'd be thrilled to hear!

Series this work belongs to: