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Yuzu was as beautiful as a goddess in the elaborate dress, she was as lovely as the spring day the bride to be was being fitted on. The lithesome Mei had already been fussed over to perfection; her yards of billowy white silk matched her breathtaking lover's wedding outfit. The two would definitely leave an everlasting memory of their precious betrothal day! Bows... ribbons... elegant, well-fitted traditional, yet somehow chic designs... Their friends were in awe! Himeko teared up, Matsuri for once was quiet, (And not a little jealous!) looking on like a child, the Tachibana twins oohed and ahhed, little Nene watched in delight, having long since accepted that this was the couple...
Harumin...
Harumin, silent as a post, was watching the proceedings from a short distance apart from the others, just behind Suzuran, who was taking it all up in her own special way. Looking behind her, the exotic jade-haired young lady noticed the inscrutable expression on the tall brunette's face...
"Hmm. What could possibly be... maybe..."
A tinkle of sudden laughter from Mei broke her thought. Yuzu had been spinning for her, showing off and had nearly tripped over her own feet, falling at the last moment into her amethyst-eyed lover's anxious arms. Embarrassed, she rejoined the other with a laugh of her own, which earned the young woman the sweet gift of a splendid kiss from the usually reticent younger Aihara.
"Careful, Yuzu! I don't want you coming to the alter on crutches!" she added.
Yuzu whispered something into her ear that caused her to blush fiercely. Thinking quickly, she whispered back; "We'll just see who can't get out of bed the morning after our wedding!"
"Promises, promises, Mei!" came the giggled retort, and the merry blonde was laughing again.
Harumin turned away from the laughter, the joviality... she really wasn't feeling it in a major way. As a point of fact, it only heightened her already dark mood...
Suzuran caught the movement of the big brunettes shifting and emotion-filled hazel eyes, and decided to pursue her earlier line of thought...
"Taniguchi-san! Are you not feeling well, on this wonderful day, of all days?" she inquired politely. Harumin looked up, as if suddenly caught doing something terribly wrong.
"Suzuran! I'm... I'm... Well you know... Time of the month and all.." she said apologetically.
The other bowed slightly. "Understood! Forgive me, I was just seeing if..." the words trailed off.
"Of course. Thank you." There had always been something that Harumin disliked about Suzuran- Perhaps, like Yuzu, she felt the lady could read her mind...
And that was the last thing she wanted anyone to do...
She looked up to see Matsuri reach over to Yuzu and hold one of her hands, tapping the long, garishly painted fingernails, and tip-toeing up to whisper in her ear. Yuzu blanched, then, coming to a quick flush, hissed a reply, smacking the smaller girl away as she giggled knowingly.
Matsuri...
Matsuri, who had always just hung on Harumin.
Who followed her like a shadow.
Who's eyes sparkled every time the other favored her with a smile.
Who had confessed that she would do anything just to be with her crush.
"And I' Harumin thought ruefully, 'Was dumb-ass enough to take her up on it! Now?..." She shook her head, thinking that it was only the weekend before that the pink-haired brat had been in her bed, allowing herself to be rather roughly used as her unsatisfied and repressed larger partner had taken a lifetime of frustration out on her spare little figure... much to the other's perverted delight.
"Oh, Harumin! You're so... nasty!" she had cooed.
"You're sick, Matsuri!" she had replied. And meant it too, although the other ate the intended slur up like candy just as she did everything Taniguchi-san did anymore.
"Baka matai!..."
She turned her gaze back to Yuzu, the thoughts receding back into a part of her where she kept all the shameful things, the things she had done, or not done...
"Because of being afraid. A coward. A goddamned, gutless..."
"Harumin?" It was Yuzu, suddenly standing directly in front of the other; close enough that she could feel the warmth of her breath...
The brunette was flustered.
She could smell the sweetness that was Yuzu's clean, fragrant skin; it wasn't perfume or soap, it was just.... Her natural womanly aura smelled divine!
"Oh God, I could bury myself in her scent... Just rub it all over me!... "
"Honey?"
"My God... she's so fucking gorgeous..."
A gentle, kind hand stretched out and touched the tall woman's shoulder like an angel's blessing, causing her to unconsciously sigh...
"I'm dying!... Oh God... I'm dying!..."
"Honey, you had just the worst expression on your face, like you weren't so happy being here today! Is something wrong?..."
Those green eyes... Oh, God! Those clear green eyes like some unearthly jewels that fell from heaven!...
"...because, if you need to, like, get a breath or something..."
No make-up on at all,... none needed... and those pink, heavenly, full, ripe lips!...
"...then, maybe you could, you know, step outside a minute..." Her hair was like a shower of golden threads, rustling as she turned her agitated head, showing off the graceful curve of each cheek to heart-stopping perfection...
"Harumin?"
Yuzu's face snapped into jarring focus... The revery receding back into that ache which was Harumin's broken heart...She blinked, coming back to herself, where she was, and the importance of this final fitting day to her... her... best friend... And her beautiful fiance'... "Damn it! I must have spaced out again!' Harumin thought.
The perfect couple. Everyone said so...
Harumin turned away, her mouth going suddenly dry.
"What in God's name am I thinking?"
"My best friend."
"My best friend."
"My best friend!"
"Got it, Taniguchi?..."
Yeah.
"Sorry, Yuzu... I haven't been myself lately..."
( "Bullshit! You've been refusing to deal with your feelings, your situation for basically, your whole goddamn life! Same old Harumin as always!" )
"Maybe I should step outside and get some fresh air..."
( Yeah, you liar! The hypocrisy's getting ass-deep in here!")
"...And I'll pop right back in, okay!"
( "After I beat my fucking head against a wall for a minute... or cry... or scream!... Or jump in front of a bus!...")
"Okay, honey!" Yuzu said, drawing the other into a hug before she could back away...
(" Oh, God, No! Please don't let her hold me close! Please, God, no! I can't fucking take this! I'm gonna... I'm gonna..." )
Those loving arms, with their dove-soft hands... A silken cheek brushed against hers, and a part of the sad young woman's soul died a thousand times in that breviloquent moment. The touch, the contiguity of that tender, beautiful body; it's achingly perfect curves and smooth, classic lines. The heat, the passion of that precious soul radiating from her like a hidden fire, a fire that Harumin would willingly burn to ashes in. The free-fall of being so close. Of being an eternity apart...
... Of dying. Of just shriveling away from a pain that couldn't be articulated into words. So ephemeral, so primal, so spiritual, so carnal...
"Yuzu." Harumin whispered, her voice so brittle she was scared of shattering.
"Yes, Harumin?"
The other could feel the wonderful tickle of the soft blonde hair, the tenderness of the lovely hands, the warmth and incense of her breath as she spoke, so tantalizingly close to her own lips....
"Yuzu... I... love you! " the words came out, faint and spirituous, as though unsure of their welcome.
The blonde drew back, just to be able to look at her best friend, and replied, "I know honey! And I love you too! I always will!" and she smiled that smile,
That smile!...
Oh, my God, that smile that was Summer, laughter, kisses and everything that was beautiful, joyous , and amazing;... making love, passion like flowing honey, and a thousand secrets shared...
And Harumin's broken smile in return...
... Was hands that wanted to be held, lips that longed to be kissed, a body ripe for love that could never bloom, feelings that died in a dark someplace.
Harumin closed her eyes, nodding her head as wearily as a thousand years.
"Yes... I know, Yuzu. I'll... always love you too..." The tears were about to explode. She couldn't let her best friend see, couldn't let her know...
Matsuri ran up at that moment grinning like a fool and grabbing Harumin by the arm, possessively.
"Hey! Whoa, Yuzu! I've got dibs on this one!" she joked, causing the blonde to laugh.
"Hey, congratulations!"
" Yeah." Harumin said flatly. Disengaging the pink-haired pest from her arm, she turned and quickly clattered down the hall as the others looked on puzzled, glad she could hold the tears in until she stepped out the broad door. Once there, she gave no fucks at all to anyone passing by who saw her break into tortured little pieces in front of the world.
The painful sobs tore loose in full earnest now, as, with no friends to hide from- the facade dropped.
"Great job, Harumin! You handled that just like you've handled the whole rest of your lousy sorry life!" she thought bitterly...
"Like a fool..."