Archive of Our Own

 working at hot topic is okay. 

it’s the one store in the mall that suits him the most anyways. he was too shy to work at spencers, but also too gruff to work anywhere else. with how welcoming and accepting the employees were to him, he thought it’d make sense for him to apply there and work alongside them. but as time goes by and people come and go, xiao eventually finds himself to be working there for so long that the idea of him leaving feels uncomfortable to him. 

and now… he’s the co-manager. he’s at least thankful that he likes the job and the customers the store attracts. he gets along well with his coworkers and helps out all of them as much as he can. not to mention, working there served as a good distraction away from his home and school life. lord did he hate being a college student and a full-time retail worker. 

he only has half an hour left of his shift and he already finds himself getting tired. he never liked opening shifts. every time he prepares the store for opening, he finds himself reminiscing the old days in which he was a normal sales associate and did not have those sort of responsibilities. but now, he has to prepare the cashiers and recount them, take care of shipment and put things in their places before opening. then once the sales associate comes in and the clock hits eleven, he has to open the doors and turn up the volume for the hot topic corporate playlist. then the rest of the day is essentially him trying to do the tasks zhongli put in their “boss group chat”, doing the occasional returns and interviews if needed. 

thank god he had ganyu working with him today. otherwise, he’d probably pass out from exhaustion and tiredness. but at least it isn’t topped with classes, especially since he resorted to taking all of his classes on one day (and he doesn’t have many, because he’s tired at this point). 

ganyu’s processing a return while he’s working on a t-shirt plexi. with it being a tuesday, the store was pretty dead and he considers it peaceful, besides the fact that he had to do as much of the list as he could. whatever he didn’t have finished, he could count on ganyu or a to finish. or verr goldet when she opens tomorrow. 

as he puts the plexi’d shirt up on the wall, he climbs down the ladder and looks up at the wall to see what else he needs to fix. he looks around himself before he spots hutao and yanfei giggling about something near the anime wall across the store.

he sighs. good grief. they could at least be helpful. “hutao, yanfei,” he calls out sternly. they both turn their heads to him instantly. “you guys better be recovering the anime wall while you’re chatting.” 

“o-of course we are, xiao!” yanfei responds with a little laugh before she grabs a random, disheveled naruto shirt from the wall and folds it the way zhongli taught everyone who’s ever worked at the store. 

“you don’t need to worry about us, boss man!” hutao responds with a big smile and a thumbs up. “i was just making my way to the junior fit wall! but if you need my help at the music wall, let me know!” and just like that, she dashes her way to the right side of the store where the junior fit shirts were. 

he sighs and rolls his eyes before he looks back at the t-shirt wall, making sure to pull out a medium black sabbath t-shirt before going up the ladder next to him. as he goes up the steps, he hears ganyu’s voice ffrom the front of the store. 

“hey! welcome! what brings you here?”

“i was wondering if zhongli was here today?” a high pitched voice requested in response. xiao wants to turn his head to see who would ask for his company. he didn’t think the man still had friends because he was rather private about his life. he didn’t reveal too much about himself unless it was to talk about his past job experiences or about which restaurants in the mall were the best. 

xiao doesn’t know why he’s listening in on this conversation. he should focus on the task at hand: fixing the music wall, starting with the rock shirts. he tries his best to not pay attention to the conversation at hand by focusing on the music that was playing. the hot topic™ playlist was playing some pop song. he thinks it’s some song from dua lipa and a kpop group? he wasn’t sure. he wasn’t really up-to-date with pop music. after grabbing the plexi, folding the shirt on the cardboard board within it, he slides the shirt into the glass before putting it back in its original spot. he then goes down the wall with the other ghost shirts before going to the other rock shirts. he wasn’t really paying attention to anything besides knowing that he had to follow the process he’s done for years. 

but all of a sudden, his mind shifts away from the black ghost shirt in his hand as he listens to someone that wasn’t dua lipa or a member of that one girl group… singing while staring at the same wall xiao was fixing up, just on the other side . with the plexi and shirt still in hand, he looks down from his ladder at a boy. he looked like he was young. he definitely looked around his height. he wore green and had green tips at his side bangs, with the rest of his hair being black. he wonders what brand he used to get those tips. probably arctic fox, since it still hasn’t completely faded. 

why is he staring at him? he should speak. 

“did you need help looking for a band on the wall?” he asks him, immediately gaining the other’s attention as the other looks up at him. oh wow. he looks really pretty. his eyes were a really pretty green color. it’s not often that xiao sees someone who catches his eye immediately. usually the customers that would come here would be someone who’d be like xingqiu, who would immediately head over to the anime section and chongyun and xingqiu would talk to them about their favorite animes or manga. sometimes they’d be horror fans and hutao would talk to them about that, or they’d be the pastel fashionistas that yanfei would take care of. and customers like them, while pleasant to have a conversation with, weren’t really customers xiao can imagine himself talking to a bunch. 

and though this guy seemed to really like pop music, xiao could actually imagine himself talking to the other. at least, just from the looks of it. 

the guy smiles at him. “yeah! i was just wondering if this was all the kpop artists you have here?” he asks, pointing to the kpop section of the music wall. ah. xiao didn’t really go to that area of the wall that much. he was more of a fan of the pop-punk line that came next to it, usually camping there as soon as his shift ends so he can use that employee discount on the new mcr shirts that he didn’t buy yet. 

“ah. let me help you out after i put this shirt up,” he says with a nod, looking back at the wall to fold the shirt quickly and then carefully (but quickly) putting the plexi back on the wall. he climbs down the latter and walks next to the kpop customer, looking up at the wall before nodding his head. “yeah. unfortunately, we only have blackpink, nct, and monsta x. we used to have exo and super m, but i think they sold out a while ago,” he explains, watching the other show a dejected look at the news. he’s not sure if it’s the customer service in him or if he really wants to befriend this customer, but he couldn’t help but try to make him smile somehow. “we also have a wall dedicated to bts and bt21. they’re not apart of our in-store deals, but you can get hot cash with them and then use the hot cash on them.” 

“that’s fine! i was just hoping to get t-shirts that would apply to the sales,” he responds. “i’m fine with just a blackpink shirt. i was kinda hoping you’d have more girl groups, though.” 

well, there wasn’t much xiao could do about it. after all, all he can do is put that into the end-of-the-day review sheet when asked what products customers were looking for. “ah, really? what other groups do you like?” he asks, solely for the purpose of that question that he had to answer on the computer at the end of the day. not at all for anything else. 

“ah, well,” the other points at the pink blackpink shirt with the group on it, “them. i think they’re pretty cool,” he answers with a little laugh. “i just like a lot of girl groups, if i have to be honest, but i also like this band called day6.” 

“do you have any recommendations?” xiao asks, not even sure why he asked that in the beginning. it’s not like he’s against listening to kpop, but he doesn’t think he’d be able to find an artist within that industry that he’d like. then again, he should expand his boundaries when it comes to his music taste. it couldn’t hurt. “i’m into the pop-punk sound. i like mcr, fall out boy, paramore… technically patd before he got exposed for being super problematic.” 

green-eyed singer, the name xiao gives him for the time being, lets out an “ah” sound before his lips curve into a smile, his eyes brightening as if a lightbulb turned on. “then you should definitely give day6 a go! a lot of people listen to shoot me as their first song, but if you want something to cry to, i like i smile. i also recommend time of our love if you’re looking for a… movie song, if you know what i mean.” xiao couldn’t help but crack a small smile at that description. a movie song. he thinks he’s heard that before, but it sounds nice coming from the other. “you could also try dreamcatcher! they’re a girl group, but a lot of their titles have the japanese rock vibe? like action-anime opening vibe, if you know what i mean.” 

he could already imagine how that sounds and he’s a little intrigued by that. so intrigued that he pulls out his phone and pulls up the notes app as soon as he hears that. “so you said day6 and dreamcatcher, right?” he asks for clarification, the other nods. “what are the songs you wanted to recommend to me?” 

green-eyed singer giggles before he repeats the songs he mentioned earlier. “as for dreamcatcher, you should listen to scream , piri , good night , and you and i .” xiao tries his best to type that rapidly as the other continues to speak. “to be honest, a lot of their discography is really good! i think you might enjoy it.” 

“well, i’ll hold you to it,” he says with a firm nod. it makes the other laugh. “by the way, you said you were looking for zhongli, right? are you friends with him?” 

he nods his head. “ah yeah. we went to celestia together.” ah, the academy near here. he heard a lot of stuff about that school. he’s surprised that this guy and zhongli seemed to have come out of there decently. “i guess you could say he’s still one of the people i keep in touch with from the friend group. i work at boxlunch, but i usually come over to bother him if we don’t get drinks together. i don’t think i’ve seen you working with him, though?” 

yeah. that was a little odd. xiao himself was confused about how this was the first time he’s seen him, especially since he’s had shifts with the older. well, he can bring his grievances with verr about that later. “well, i’m glad i got to meet you now… even if zhongli isn’t here.” god, he’s so awkward. that’s on him for being an introvert, though. the only reason why he’s able to go through conversations at work is because he’s trained himself with customer service… but he doesn’t have that mode activated now for some reason. maybe because a part of him doesn’t want this guy to just be a customer to him, too. “uh… but if you’re still interested in getting something cheap and blackpink related, i think we still have some of their mystery boxes in the blind bag section.” 

at the mention of blind bags, the boy’s eyes sparkled at the mention of the product. “oh, for real? thank you so much!” he says with excitement in his voice before he rushes over there. as he runs his way over there, he looks back at the music wall with the small smile still on his face. he climbs the ladder to return to his plexi job, noticing the new song change to tusa by karol g later. and though he stays focused enough to get a good portion of the wall done, he notices that someone is standing near the ladder… and it wasn’t the green-eyed singer. 

“did you need something, ganyu?” he asks, the smile fading as soon as he realizes who it is. it doesn’t bother either one of them, though. mainly because that’s just who he is. 

“i saw you were talking to zhongli’s friend!” she says excitedly with a giggle. thankfully, she wasn’t loud enough for any of the other customers to hear. otherwise, he would hear this conversation and that’d be humiliating. “so?? what do you think of him?” 

“he’s… pleasant to talk to.” he says plainly. obviously, there’s more he wants to say to describe him. he’s really nice. he has a kind smile and he likes the sound of his laugh. he was interesting enough that he felt a little bad for sending him away to finish plexing the shirts. in fact, he’d much rather talk to him then take care of this wide ass wall. not to mention he’s really cute and he has a nice singing voice, but xiao was not going to admit that aloud. he’d rather die than do that. 

“ just pleasant?” the girl repeats. xiao’s not able to see her face as he climbs down the ladders, but there’s no doubt in his mind that she was rolling her eyes to mock him. “the smile you had on just a bit ago showed that your conversation was more than just pleasant.” 

“i’m just bonding with the customer. i’ve done that before with this job,” he says, continuing to make excuses for himself against the other. he was refusing to admit that he was slightly interested in this customer, especially since, knowing ganyu, she was going to try and get xiao to be with him if that meant he was going to be less of a grouch. 

but of course, his friend and keyholder wasn’t going to let him go off easy. “you should hang out with him! he’s on his half right now and you’re practically done with your shift. it’s like… perfect timing!” 

‘don’t be silly,” xiao scoffs at the other. “i can just stay overtime and finish this wall. after all, if i don’t, who can guarantee that someone will?” 

the girl puts her hands on her hips and gives him a displeased look. “your keyholder, duh. ” and before she can say anything to try and change his mind on staying here, they hear someone call out for help. 

“uh.. ganyu or xiao??? can you help with the employee discount thingy?” yanfei shouts from the register. at that question, ganyu looks at him with a smile and he knows what that smile means. 

“ganyu, no.” 

“xiao! why don’t i help take care of the plexies for you while you help out the lovely friend at the front?” ganyu suggests with a big smile.

he knew it. of course he should expect this from his work best friend. but rather than admitting defeat, he wants to avoid having to interact with the other with any possibility of embarrassing himself. “oh no, ganyu. i can’t have you do that. i know how much you don’t like doing plexies.” 

“no, i insist! i need all the practice,” ganyu continues with her attempts. 

but xiao wasn’t going to lose that easily. “zhongli made it my responsibility to get through this wall on my own. maybe you should focus on your own responsibilities while i focus on my own!” 

“not to be rude, but can one of you PLEASE help me?!” yanfei asks again, her tone sounding more like she was pleading than requesting now. the both of them look at each other and ganyu smiles at him, making xiao groan at her.

“you’re the worst.” 

“only for you, boss,” she says with a smile before she pats him on the back. “now, get going. i can’t use the ladder if you’re in my way.” 

he huffs before he turns and makes his way to the registers, yanfei walking away from the space to go back to the anime wall at the front. now, it was just him… him and the green-eyed singer. 

“so you’ve obviously shopped with us before,” xiao says. just from him saying that, the other lets out a little chuckle and the boy has to mentally lecture himself to not think too much about it or else. “what’s your number?” 

the boy in front of him quirks a brow. “oh? you’re moving rather quickly,” he says with a giggle. 

that statement confuses him at first, xiao tilting his head to the side until he hears the other workers giggle as well. he’s still confused when he hears it at first, but the more he thinks about what the other said… no… there’s no way this guy is implying… that? 

he doesn’t want to let his embarrassment show, but that might be impossible with the fact that his ears feel hot. “i meant your employee number. for your discount,” he says flatly. he needs to act calm. god this is so humiliating… he can’t wait to tell his therapist about this. 

“haha! i know. i was just joking around,” the other says with a wink. “it’s 200928. however, if you want me to give you my number, i’d be more than happy to give it to you.” 

xiao clears his throat as he finishes typing up the numbers. as soon as the screen changes to show the screen for checking out, he grabs the small, microphone-shaped blind box and scans the sku code, watching it appear on the screen in front of him. “are you sure you don’t want a blackpink shirt?” he asks the other. “we have the bogo 30% sale right now.” 

“nah. i was planning on spending my leftover money on food and coffee,” he shakes his head and waves his hand. “thank you, though. i’ll probably drop by again when i get my paycheck and take you up on that, though.” 

ah. clearly, he had an issue with standards and spending habits. no wonder zhongli and him were friends. xiao could at least applaud him for his self control with at least getting these two things. once the final price was shown, xiao announced the price to him. “pinpad’s all ready for you.” 

the boy smiles and taps his card on his screen, watching the pin pad screen load and then make a “ding!” as soon as the purchase went through. “nice!” he says with a big smile. “i won’t need a bag for this, by the way.” and after that, xiao watches him grab the little container off the counter. “ however, i do have a question.” 

he’s a little curious about the question. not curious enough to the point where he gets himself too excited about it, though. “sure. what is it?” 

and nothing could prepare xiao for what he was going to ask. 

“do you want to go and get some drinks with me?” 

… HUH?! 

xiao feels as if his entire body was frozen in place after he asked that. his jaw was dropped, eyes widened… he practically looked like a deer in headlights right now. he was unaware of how to act in this very moment that it actually looked pitiful for anyone who was witnessing this in third person. 

and to more of his surprise, he wasn’t done. 

“it’s just— i overheard a little bit of your conversation with your coworker and thought i could ask for a bit of your time, since you’re almost done with your shift and i’m on my half right now.” after he said that, xiao immediately darts his attention at a smiling ganyu who was watching all of this unfold. he had a feeling that someone would overhear their conversation, considering it was just the two of them, the customer, yanfei, and hutao. a little bit… he wonders how much is a little bit. because if this attractive stranger heard more than what xiao thinks he’s heard, he was very much prepared to evaporate underneath the lamps right this second. 

“only if you’re fine with it, though. i don’t want to pressure you. and i also realize how my question could come off inappropriate in a work environment.” as he heard the other bashfully laugh, he couldn’t help but feel even more embarrassed for all of what was going on. he can understand why the other would be embarrassed, but he didn’t think he’d get asked out by him, let alone after hearing ganyu essentially tell him about how interesting he was. 

“he’d love to!” ganyu shouts, immediately making xiao give her a pointed look. but in response to that, her smile only grows bigger. in the name of rex lapis. he could not stand her sometimes, even if she was one of the coworkers he got along with the most. 

xiao looks back to the front, facing the red-faced, green-eyed singer with a nervous facial expression on his face. if he wasn’t embarrassed himself, he’d find the face in front of him to be quite adorable. but given the circumstances the both of them were in, he couldn’t help but feel embarrassed himself. he didn’t really know what to do in this situation… besides be honest. 

he clears his throat. “typically, when customers ask me out, platonically or romantically, i usually decline their offer because i can’t really do that in a work environment,” he explains. after he said that, he saw the other’s face drop in disappointment. just from that, xiao quickly says what he needs to say next so that the disappointed expression doesn’t stay for long. “but, i am nearing the end of my shift and i am in the mood for bubble tea… so…” he giggles when he watches the other’s eyes light up almost immediately after he finishes his sentence. “sure. i’ll pay for my drink, though. for your sake.” 

“that’s absolutely fine!” the other says with a nod, his smile growing wider after hearing xiao’s response to him. “yeah! that’s great! that’ll do good for my wallet.” 

there’s a soft yet fond smile that falls on xiao’s lips after hearing that. “it’ll take me a while, though. i gotta do some manager things and get my stuff, but i’ll make it.” 

“no worries! take all the time you need. i’ll just… look around in the meantime!” 

as the other turns and leaves to look around the store, xiao takes the moment to get ready to clock out. it’s a few minutes early, but he’s sure ganyu will do him a favor and edit the time for him. he hears the clicking of her heels from behind him and he doesn’t bother to look back to know that it’s her. 

“well…?” he can hear the smile in her voice when she asks that. and he’s grateful that she’s not looking at his face. but knowing her, he knows he won’t hear the end of it anyway. 

“...shut up.” 

“so… xiao... what exactly do you like about this boba place? … or… why do you like boba?” 

xiao didn’t have much expectations when meeting venti back inside the store. he was surprised to know that this was his first time trying wangshu tea, especially since zhongli quite literally works with the wife of that place’s owner. when he had told him that this was his first time drinking boba, he was a little shocked and he was a little ecstatic to tell verr about how zhongli hasn’t been taking him here. but of course, he was glad to be able to help the other have his moment of enlightenment. 

they’re waiting for their drinks at the side of the booth when the other asks him that question. “i mean.. the main reason why a lot of people like it is for the texture. they like how chewy the boba is and like… while they gulp down the drink, they can chew on the pearls until it’s squishy enough to swallow.” 

“can you just… swallow them?” venti asks. of course this question would come up. it always does with people who’ve never had boba before. 

“no. you can actually go to the hospital if you have a lot of unchewed pearls in your stomach,” xiao explains with a soft smile. “it’s a weird experience to drink, but it’s definitely worth it.” he then looks at the baristas making their drinks. they’re lucky it’s a weekday, so it won’t take them as long. “ah… not to mention, my boss is married to the boss of this place. and i come here so often that one of the baristas thinks i’m their friend.” 

“order for xiao!” speak of the devil, smiley yanxiao speaks himself. as xiao goes to grab it, he sees a smile on the other’s face. it’s weird, considering for any other customer, he’d have a neutral expression. “enjoy the drink! hope the boba is to your liking.” 

“thank you. i expect it to be as chewy as it usually is,” xiao responds blankly. he turns around and walks back to his spot with venti and he pokes a hole on the top with the green straw that came along with his drink. venti watches him carefully almost as if he was trying to learn something from him and it’s obvious to the point xiao actually finds it endearing. 

“oh!! the straws are that huge because of the boba, right?” venti asks excitedly. “and like… other chewy things, since i got mine with jelly.” he pauses for a second. “sorry if i sound too excited or naive, by the way. i usually drink coffee or wine and i never really thought about getting bubble tea until… well… now.” 

“that’s okay––” 

“green apple tea with green apple star jelly!” yanxiao calls out next. 

the announcement of the drink captures venti’s attention. “ah! that’s mine!” he says with a smile before he walks over to get his drink, xiao watching him excitedly grab it and excitedly coming back. “so.. do i just… stab the top of it?” 

xiao nods his head. “yeah. not that hard, i promise you.” 

“okay. okay! thank you.” he looks away from the other for a second and with his straw, tries to stab the top of the cup… only to have it make a small dent because of the lack of force. 

“you need to really stab it. not lightly,” xiao advises. “but not too much unless you want to get your tea and jelly everywhere.” 

“ah.. thank you for letting me know,” venti says in response with a nod and a small laugh. “i hate sticky things, so if it got everywhere, that’d be awful.” with a small breath, he tries again at poking his straw through the hole with a little more force this time and smiles as he sees the straw go into the cup flawlessly. “wow!!! i did it! that’s awesome!” 

the smile on the other’s face filled xiao with a warm feeling. he wants to dub it as pride for watching the other succeed at being able to get his straw in his drink, but it also felt as if there was more than just that reason to explain his mood. 

as venti takes a sip of his drink, xiao looks at him expectantly. “how is it?” 

after the boy chews on his jelly and swallows his drink, he clicks his tongue to emphasize that he was processing the flavor for just a moment. “it’s good! though, i think the green apple stars would probably be better with something more on the sweet side though. maybe i’ll try a slushie next time with it.” he sips it a little more. “but it’s good! thank you for introducing me to such a wonderful invention.” 

xiao swears that every word that comes out of this boy’s mouth was just bound to be absolutely adorable, but that doesn’t stop him from continuing the conversation. “it’s no problem,” xiao says politely in response. “you were the one who asked i liked to drink, so i thought it’d be appropriate to share something that i like with you.” 

venti smiles. “i definitely get the hype for it now. but if you have any recommendations for something sweet, let me know! i’d bother morie about it, but knowing him, he’d probably recommend me the osmanthus flavor or something.” xiao chuckles hearing the comment. “am i right? does he usually order that?” 

“yeah. it’s his favorite,” xiao confirms. “says it reminds him of the good times.” xiao takes a sip of his drink before he continues to speak. however, his mind decides to focus on another thing rather than focusing on what he was going to say. “did you just call him morie? ” 

“yeah! morie for morax,” venti explains with a nod. “i know everyone calls him zhongli, or rex, if it’s online. but he lets me call him morie because we’ve known each other for so long.” he chuckles to himself. “that dude has got so many names. i think that’s why he’s friends with that one ginger from journeys.” 

xiao feels as if he could visualize who he was talking about. he’s seen that guy stop by from time to time at the store, though he never stayed for too long. “ah. i see,” he says in response to the nickname before sipping more of his drink. when he finishes his sip, he decides to finally get back on topic. “anyways, like i was saying, zhongli likes osmanthus oolong because it reminds him of the old days. says it’s his comfort drink, so he can’t really drink any other drink but that one if he wants to perk himself up.” 

“ah.. sad old man he is,” venti responds with a little sigh. “he’s always moping about his glory days with his old friend group. he told me they all drifted apart, so that’s why he’s so mopey all the time.” 

xiao sighs as he listens to the other’s explanation of the other. he doesn’t have the heart to tell him that he already knows all this, so he decides to find another way to imply it. “yeah. kinda why we get along so well.” 

the other gives him a confused look and xiao finds himself already getting embarrassed from his words. of course he would blabble so much in front of the other. thoughts of regret fill his head as seconds pass after he utters those words. this is what he gets for saying too much. 

“i’m sorry,” he immediately apologizes after getting the realization. “just forget about what i said. it’s nothing.” 

after he says that, the other gives him a sympathetic look. “no, it’s okay. you don’t need to apologize,” he says with a small pout. “it’s fine. if it makes you feel better, i tend to overshare all the time. so i have those moments where i say more than what i should.” 

he sees how the other is trying to make him feel better about his little slip up, but all xiao could feel in that moment was dread. it was no secret that he was timid, but there was a reason he was like that in the first place and he wasn’t ready to reveal more of his vulnerability to his stranger. if he wasn’t able to do that with the few people he’s been working with for years, how would he be able to do it with him? maybe they’ll be at most friends after this interaction, but he shouldn’t know this much about him already. 

the silence that follows afterwards feels absolutely dreadful and xiao finds himself feeling even more guilty than he did before. before he can try to think of another conversation topic so that it doesn’t continue and they end on a lighter note, venti surprises him. 

“i guess the three of us have something in common then, hm?” he says, his voice sounding as light as a feather flying through the air. though it comes off as natural, xiao felt as if he was aware of what the other was trying to imply. “i don’t know if you have a comfort food like morie does, but i go to angel share’s to get myself a dandelion smoothie to make me feel better.” xiao scrunches his face at the name and it makes the other chuckle. “don’t knock it until you try it! it’s actually really good! or maybe that’s just me saying that.” he shrugs. “either way, i’m not like the ‘hag’ who drinks it to remember his past. i drink mine to make myself be grateful for what i have now rather than what i’ve gone through before.” 

xiao looks at his face as he goes for another sip of his tea and notices something.. he notices that while the other’s voice is cheery and while there’s a bright smile on his face, it doesn’t exactly reach his eyes as he talks about the beverage. he’s often seen that familiar look with the people he’s worked with and the people whom he’s had the chance to befriend. he wouldn’t be surprised if many people saw him with that exact same look on that face… especially with the fact that he works customer service. 

it seems as if the other was well at hiding his emotions as well. or… hiding his loneliness. it makes xiao feel pitiful himself to know that someone as kind as friendly as him has also experienced emotions that xiao has felt. 

there’s another silence that follows after that, but it doesn’t feel awkward. in fact, it feels… peaceful. as if its intention was for either one of them to soak up the mutual understanding of each other. for the realization of how xiao was not alone in this feeling to settle into his heart. and as it was interrupted by the sound of venti’s straw sucking in the dry air of the cup left with ice cubes, it was the cue for the conversation to go on, but with no new topic. 

“you should go there some time. i’ll let the owner know that i sent you,” he says with a fond smile. it reaches his eyes this time and it feels as if it was a look of comfort. endearment and warmth. and it’s emotions that xiao didn’t realize he longed for until this moment. “we’re close. well, i’m a pain in his ass, but i’d like to say that we’re close.” 

“you’ll talk to me about him?” xiao asks, sounding perplexed by the sheer thought of venti finding him intriguing enough to talk to other people about him. he could understand why the other would talk about zhongli, considering the fact they both went to school together and seemed close. not to mention, zhongli was charming and mysterious to everyone else, so there were people who were dying to know the real him from hearing venti’s explanations about him. 

“yeah! of course. you’re really nice and really cute!” he says with a little laugh. xiao wants to smack himself for thinking he saw the other’s ears turn a light shade of pink. “i’ll even tell him to treat you well, even if you’re friend with someone as chaotic as me.” 

chaotic. he didn’t realize that was a word that many people would use to describe this fascinating and charismatic individual. a part of him hopes that there will be opportunities in which he can experience such “chaotic” behavior from the other. he’s not sure what comes over him when he chooses the next set of words to say, whether it be from the influence of the drink or the new found comfortability around him. but, if he were to want to see such opportunities rise, these words might be the key to such. 

“maybe you can take me there and introduce me to him yourself?” he asks. it doesn’t even take him to finish the sentence to be aware of how hot his face has gotten. he practically felt the heat as soon as he knew what he was about to say. the way the other looks at him with widened eyes was not shocking to him, either. he himself didn’t think it was possible to be able to… “flirt” like that. 

but it doesn’t take too long for the other to grin at xiao. “yeah. i’ll definitely be down for that.” the other suddenly reaches in his pocket to pull out his phone, moving his thumb quickly to type in his passcode before he continues swiping it. “do you prefer discord or text?” mission accomplished. he’s now thankful that he had the balls to ask him that question. “i don’t mind either. i usually text the old guy via texts, though.” he hands the phone to the other so that xiao could put his discord tag in through the app. 

he takes the phone and types it in, making sure to hit the green button next to it so that the request sends automatically. “i’m fine with either, too. mainly active on discord, though,” he responds. he gives the other’s phone back and as venti grabs it and puts it back in his pocket, xiao decides to do the same thing with his own phone, this time going into his phone contacts. as he hands his phone to the other, he tries to finish up his drink as the other types into his phone. he finishes it by the time the other finishes typing. “let me know whenever you’re down to go together and i’ll try to make room in my schedule.” 

“that goes for anything else too, right?” venti asks as he hands the other’s phone back.  

xiao feels a small smile curling on his lips. “yeah. for anything else.” he takes his phone back and puts it back into the pocket of his jacket. 

“sweet!” venti cheers happily with a thumbs up. he then looks around the mall from where he stands, later looking back at xiao with a pout. “i think i have to go now. my halfie’s probably been over for a while now. my boss is going to freak as soon as i go back.” 

xiao nods his head. “yeah. you should probably get going now. i don’t think boxlunch is super close to where we are.” 

“right! i’ll see you later, then!” venti says with a nod before running off to the direction to the store. he stops in his tracks, even if he was already quite far from xiao, just to look back at him and wave. “it was nice meeting you, xiao!” he shouts. 

xiao waves back at the other, laughing from the other’s cute actions before he goes back to dashing to his workplace. as soon as he was out of sight, xiao sighs, though more differently than his usual empty sighs that would help express his exhaustion. he walks to the closest trash can to toss his cup into it, taking out his phone to pull up discord just so he could add the other back. carmendei#0616… that sounded like a pretty name. he wondered where it came from. after accepting him, he decided to send the other a message before he went on his very way. 

alatus

> hey venti!! it’s xiao! 

> i hope you got back to work on time. thank you for the company for drinks today!! we should do this again soon. 

> maybe i’ll stop by your store sometime haha 

god. the “haha” sounds so awkward. he needs to take it out. 

alatus

>maybe i’ll stop by your store sometime (edited) 

sure, it doesn’t totally hide his shame, but it’ll do. 

if venti didn’t point it out earlier this morning, xiao wouldn’t have known that two weeks have passed by since they had met each other. if he had to be honest, every single day since then had made time go by much quicker with the fact that venti would stop by the store any moment he could, whether it be to visit zhongli or xiao himself. and if they didn’t see each other, they’d talk to each other hours before their shifts started or hours after. there were even breaks where venti would go to the mall to say hi to xiao, even if he didn’t work that day. it’s weird to xiao, considering he as an introvert would make sure to only go to mall when he really needed to, if not for work. but it’s not like he didn’t appreciate his company. after all, seeing the other’s familiar face would always make his day a little better. 

zhongli even points it out today on a slow wednesday as they’re censoring their new shipment together. “you seem more chipper than usual, xiao,” he explains. “is it because of barbatos?” he’s not sure if it’s funny that “sunflower” was playing in this exact moment, but he chooses not to make note of it. 

xiao blinks and looks over at him. “why would you assume it’s because of him?” has he made it obvious that he enjoyed the other’s company too much? was it obvious that he enjoyed it more than he would any other person? he hopes that’s not the case. the last thing he’d want to do is get attached to someone before he’s even aware of it. 

“are you forgetting the fact that he and i are close friends?’ xiao finds himself rolling his eyes at the other after he asked that. of course he knew that. as much as he enjoyed venti’s company, the other would often talk about zhongli just to poke fun at him. in the span of the two weeks that they’ve known each other, xiao feels as if he knows a little more about the older than he did before because of the other. 

“not to mention, ganyu was practically gushing about the two of you at our last shift together.” xiao sighs. of course she would. that girl is such a hopeless romantic. she’d rather focus on other people’s relationships rather than try to initiate one with the cute, purple-haired girl that works at sephora. even if the entire staff encouraged her to do so, there was no possible way for the girl to gain the courage to flirt with her even if said girl, keqing was her name, shops here often. 

“he’s just really nice. that’s all,” xiao says with a huff, indicating that he wanted the conversation to end at that point. but that wasn’t all, really. there was so many things xiao could say about venti. so many words that he could use to describe the way each and every interaction with him either makes him feel extremely nervous in hoping to say the right thing or happy whenever venti does something adorable or show any sort of affection onto him. at least, xiao wants to think it’s affection. for all he know, the other could be… “just really nice.” 

but he can’t say that. he’d rather be dead than caught spilling his secrets to anyone. even his close coworkers.

“you don’t have to lie to me, xiao,” zhongli says with a sigh. that sounds a little ironic coming from him, considering xiao was sure that a lot of people had fallen for one of his lies in the past. “i know that the both of you have been getting close. sometimes, he stops by here for you instead of me.” though xiao should not be surprised by that, he couldn’t help but blink at the other’s words. xiao isn’t used to people wanting to see him at the store. sure, he’s nice to customers. but after life events and also getting promoted to assistant manager, he’s lost his charm. hutao and yanfei were the main favorites of the store, with xingqiu following behind thanks to his excitement over talking about books and fanfics with the customers. 

and yet, the most interesting person who works in this mall wants to see him. he doesn’t think that’s right. it doesn’t sound… normal to him at all. 

“really?” he asks a little too excitedly. when he notices that, he clears his throat before continuing to focus on the task at hand so that he wouldn’t have to think more on the subject. the more he thinks about it, the more likely he’s going to start having… thoughts. more of them, to be more accurate. he doesn’t want to continue having the belief that some days, the bright smile on the other’s face was reserved for him because he knows that the other behaves similarly with everyone he talks to. he does not want to believe that when venti hugs him particularly tighter than he usually would, it’s because he genuinely wishes to hold him just a little longer. 

his soft tone. his kind eyes… xiao refuses to let himself believe that there are times in which they are dedicated to him. 

“not that i care,” xiao says with a huff. “that’s foolish of him to stop by when i even send him my work schedule. he should know when i’m at the store and when i’m not.” 

“i won’t deny that he’s a peculiar one,” zhongli says with a little laugh. “but you don’t know. maybe whenever he comes here, he’d always check if you were there just in case. it’s normal for customers to associate you with where you work.” zhongli stops his censor process just to look up at xiao and patting him on the back. “but, it seems like he’s more than just a customer to you.” 

xiao furrows his brows. “yeah. we’re friends.” 

“you know what i mean, xiao.” 

not wanting to keep up the conversation anymore, xiao sighs and leaves his items on the censor cart next to the counter. “i’m not continuing this conversation. ganyu has already embarrassed me enough with this nonsense,” he says sternly before walking off, trying to find something else to do where he won’t get bothered by the other. whether it was recovering a messed-up mannequin or the horrid jewelry racks, he was going to get something done. hell, he’ll even talk to chongyun to provide the boy some company. 

but it seems as if someone beat him to it. he overhears chongyun talking to someone at the anime section and not wanting to interrupt the conversation between the both of them, he heads his way to his usual favorite place in the store (and the second messiest wall in the store). he makes his way to the pop shirts because of course those would be the shirts would the most messed up piles. he doesn’t focus on most of the shirts that he fixed up. that is… until he pulls out a blackpink shirt. 

it felt ironic to have to clean up this pile. sure, it’s no surprise, considering most of their “younger” customers would come to try and find a kpop related shirt for either bts or blackpink. they’re the only groups that are popular around the world, so they haven’t been able to get more shipments for other groups. he’s sure the monsta x shirts have been collecting dust for a while now because not many people are getting them. xiao wonders if venti was a fan of that group. he didn’t seem like much of an edm person… or an edm by boy groups person, since venti liked some of dreamcatcher’s edm-based bsides and blackpink. he wonders if he could request for more groups to headquarters, just to see if venti knew the name of any other group. he wonders what a concert with the other would be like, even. he heard that a lot of people like to be fashionable at kpop concerts. he wonders what kindof clothes he could wear to accompany the other and guarantee that the both of them have a fun time. 

… why is he even thinking of him anyways? he’s just staring blankly at this shirt! he shakes his head before he gets back to work. “god, stupid xiao,” he grumbles to himself. “don’t let yourself get carried away with foolish fantasies. you know better.” 

he tries to power through each of the piles before he accidentally bumps next to a person on his right. “ah! sorry. i didn’t see you there,” xiao says, staring at the front of him before he stands up from crouching down to a lower shelf. as he turns to look at the customer’s face, his face drops as panic immediately covers him the moment he looks at the other’s face. out of all the people he expected to go to the store, he never thought that they would come here. and if they did, he never thought that he’d have to run into them. 

“alatus?” the other called out. that name sounded like poison to him. after years of adjusting to the name xiao, he never thought he’d hear that name again. it’s no surprise that it comes from their mouth, considering they never knew him as anyone else. he thinks it’s brave of them to ever show their face around here. after what they’ve done to him and to many other poor souls who worked with them, he thought he would never have to see their face here ever again. 

but hell. he was wrong. 

he backs away from the other, memories of their past returning to his mind with each step. the feeling of sorrow, guilt, and fear plague his mind and it’s almost comical how they look totally unbothered. he wonders how lucky it is to be able to live that freely, meanwhile xiao is forever haunted by the memories of their demands, their actions, and the emotions they gave to him. 

“z-zhongli, i’m going on my thirty!” he shouts, his voice trembling with fear before he runs off to the back of the store, making sure to slam the door to show that he wants no one to follow behind him. he looks around, his vision getting blurry from the tears that were trying to escape from his eyes before he finds the familiar spinning chair that they use to sit on during their breaks. his ears rang with white noise from the memories of that… person who dared enter this store after everything they’ve done. they could’ve gone to any other store—hell, any other hot topic for all he cared. but the fact that they decided to go back to the place where they were exterminated from… 

he wonders that if he was left with them for any longer, if anything bad would happen. sure, chongyun might have been able to have a good conversation with him, but who’s to say that such peace could continue on? especially since xiao was the reason why that person left in the first place. 

“you need to take responsibility for your actions, alatus.” 

“you need to remember that you cannot connect with any of the sales associates while you’re here. this is strictly business.” 

“people will hurt you. you need to make sure you can depend on people who you can trust. ”

“you need to take responsibility for your own actions to help me make my job easier. help make it easier on zhongli, too.” 

“i am the only one who understands you, xiao. no one else will.” 

“you should be lucky that we’re a place that will hire you and let you express yourself. but remember that this is still a workplace.” 

“you aren’t doing good enough, alatus.” 

“ YOU WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH, ALATUS.” 

he sobs as he covers his ears to make the voices go away. but as hard as he pushes his palms against them, the voices are still as loud as ever. he’s trying to take in every breath he can as he sobs, but it feels as if his chest was tightening. his heart was aching at every single fragment of his memory and he wished to escape. he wished to run away and never be noticed or seen by that person ever again. why would they come here? how dare they come here? were they planning on hurting xiao? were they planning on making xiao small, even in front of someone like chongyun, who looks up to him and sees him as some sort of model? 

even now, he could hear their voice telling him off for going to the back to cry about this instead. he shouldn’t be selfish to the others. he should make it easier on them for their workload. he was putting too much work in their hands by crying about someone in the past. as if he would ever stop being a burden to this company? to this place? he wouldn’t be surprised if that person tried to find a way to get him exterminated, too. it’s what he deserves anyways for being such a selfish, foolish employee. 

there’s a knock on the door, but xiao doesn’t bother with it. he can’t hear it at all. it’s simply just a little tap with the pandemonium that was going on in his mind. he can’t see who it is either, as his eyes were shut from wincing due to the amount of pain he felt in his entire body. in fact, it isn’t until he hears a familiar voice call out his name that the chorus of voices become interrupted. 

“xiao!” venti’s voice echoes suddenly. it makes him open his eyes in surprise, though he was still very much in shock over what had just happened just a few minutes ago. why was he here? he thought he would at least see zhongli, even though that was highly unlikely considering he was the only manager in the store. he couldn’t leave chongyun on his own. that’d be so irresponsible. fuck. why did this have to happen? he’s pretty sure he had stressed zhongli out by a lot, running back here and not doing his best to help him out. it was probably a lot of trouble getting venti here, too. here he is, causing problems again. 

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry!” he chokes out with a shaky breath, the mucus running down to his upper lip. he probably looked like a mess right now. how embarrassing of him to show this side of himself to someone who he’s used to seeing with a bright smile. as he looks up at him now, he can only see a blur of him. 

“hey, it’s okay,” venti says with a calm, but caring voice. hearing the other’s calm voice slightly helps with bringing him back to reality, even if it’s only by a tiny bit. “hey, i got an ice cube in my hand,” he says, showing it off to the other. “can you hold it and make a long line with it on your skin?” 

“h-huh?” the other asks, confused by the other’s request. 

“i promise it’ll help,” venti says with a reassuring tone and a small nod. and though it sounds ridiculous at first, xiao listens to his suggestion and takes the ice cube that was slowly melting in the palm of venti’s hand with thumb and pointer, bringing it to his skin and sliding the cold solid across his skin vertically. the cold feeling on his skin alerts the boy, letting out a breath that he had no idea he was holding in. his mind starts to clear a little bit, but he still feels uneasy. he still feels alert , even if it’s not much like the way he was before. 

“feel a little better?” he asks, his tone still light. xiao nods his head in response. “alright. do you think you can take some deep breaths with me?” xiao almost feels like he’s being talked to as if he’s a child and he feels a little offended by it. but he knows that wasn’t venti’s intention. he knows that the other only wants to help him. the tone in his voice gave that away instantly. so, he listens and nods his head in response. 

“alright. breathe in for one...two...three…four,” venti starts, xiao following his lead by inhaling through his nose with each count. “hold in for one...two...three...four...five...six…seven.” and just as the other continued to count while giving instructions, xiao listens to him and holds in his breath for that amount of time. he tries his best, making sure that he doesn’t look like he’s struggling in front of the other. thankfully, he’s able to exhale out through his mouth with the other instructing him to “breathe out for one...two...three...four...five...six...seven.” 

“you’re doing great, xiao,” he encourages the other. and he feels much better, after hearing his praise and also having his guidance. “do you want to do that one more time?” well, it was worth a shot if it was going to help xiao feel a little more secure at his own workplace. so, he nods his head and proceeds to follow venti’s words again until it ends. 

there was still an unsettling feeling in him, but most of what was there earlier had washed away. he still felt under the weather, but he at least felt present in this situation. and most importantly, he knew that he was safe. not because venti was there, but because he was there to help him out. he wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and sniffs as he looks at the other. 

“are you feeling a little better?” venti asks. he nods. “do you need tissues? i can get tissues or paper towels from the bathroom. you can just sit here and wait if you want.” 

xiao sighs and shakes his head before he sniffs. “you don’t need to worry about the bathroom,” he says, his voice coming out nasal because of the snot in his nose. “they’re in the locker. first one with all the cables and some old bottle of hand sanitizer.” 

“okay! got it,” venti says with a firm nod before he steps away from the other to grab them. it’s only for a few seconds and it doesn’t take long for venti to come back with a smushed tissue box. though it doesn’t look the best, xiao doesn’t hesitate to grab a tissue from the top of it to blow his nose in. as long as it does its purpose, he couldn’t care less about the quality of it. 

wanting to not think about what had just happened, xiao tries to find a way to distract himself by asking venti questions. specifically, “what are you doing back here? don’t you have a shift today?” 

“zhongli called me and told me something was wrong, so i went on my thirty and came as fast as i could,” venti explained. of course zhongli would call him of all people to take care over him. given what their last conversation was about, he wished he could let the older know that it was embarrassing of him to call venti over to help him out. even if it was helpful, the fact that this happened right after the other was teasing him just felt… inappropriate. 

though, the fact that he rushed over to try and help xiao after hearing that he was in trouble… it made xiao feel special. soft, if that was the right word to describe it. but he doesn’t want to think too much on it. 

“by the way, zhongli wanted me to tell you that he’s letting you go home early.” 

that alerted xiao. “what? why?” 

“he didn’t say much. he just said that as soon as you’ve calmed down, you’re free to go rest at home,” venti responds. 

“but, i–” 

“he also said that if you argue against it, it’s a sign that you need to go home and rest.” he then smiled as he says the next few words. “he mentioned that you were a workaholic, so you needed to be told when it’s okay to take some time to yourself and not be hard on yourself.” 

xiao scoffs. “he didn’t have to say it like that, ” he grumbles before he proceeds to blow his nose some more. “that old geezer. he should stop treating me like a baby. i’m only a few years younger than him.” 

venti giggles at his grumpiness and though typically he’d get angry if another person did this to him, he didn’t bother with bothering venti about it. after his anxiety attack, that was… the least of his worries now. “it’s because he cares for you. he only wants the best for you.” 

xiao rolls his eyes and sighs. “yeah, yeah. i know,” he responds. “i’m grateful to him for that. he’s just such a…” 

“a dad?” 

“yeah. sure.” not the exact words the other would use to describe him, but it’s somewhat along the lines. but on the topic of zhongli, his mind wanders back to venti being here… with him. the fact tat he was even here to begin with to take care of venti meant so much more to him than he could say. especially because the other had to work today, too. he could’ve easily used his break for something more relaxing instead of taking care of xiao’s emotions. “i’m sorry for troubling you. you didn’t have to come all the way over here for me.” 

“what?” venti asks with a laugh. “it’s not a problem at all.” 

“but, you could’ve used your break time for when you get super tired with work,” xiao argues. “or… or you could’ve just chilled out or gotten a drink. but instead, you had to rush all the way here to help me calm down.” 

the smile stays, but it’s obvious that venti was going to be serious with what his next choice of words were. xiao could feel that energy shift. he was sure anyone could, if they were in the same room as these two. “xiao, it’s fine. it was pretty dead today, anyways. there weren’t that many people that came in, so i was going to take the opportunity to get something to eat anyways.” xiao all of a sudden feels something rest on the top of his hand, looking down to see it being venti’s hand. “besides, even if that wasn’t the case, i care about you. a lot. i’ll always want to make sure that you’re doing okay. so you don’t need to worry about being a bother to me.” 

he’s unsure of how to react to that statement. though xiao knows himself that those words are what he’s wanted to hear, he’s not sure if they genuine or not. for all he knew, the other could be saying that so that he could gain his trust. though his actions earlier proved otherwise, he still felt as if it was best to be cautious. after all that’s happened to him, he did not wish to be hurt so easily again. especially with people who don’t seem bad in the first place. it’s not that he didn’t think venti was a bad person. he genuinely thinks that the other was a good person, based on their past interactions but… being on guard was what felt easy. it’s what felt safe. 

so he’s still not sure if he should trust him when he says that he’d never be a bother to him. he’s not sure if the other will want to make sure that he’s doing okay all the time. it all ties in with the fact that he wasn’t sure if venti could be someone that could make him… better. 

so for now, he just goes with the flow to entertain him. “thank you. that means a lot,” he starts. and it does, but he doesn’t think it registers with him yet. “you’ll never be a bother to me, either.” 

that was the truth. 

much to xiao’s surprise, venti never left xiao alone after that. nor was their interactions any more awkward after, either. 

the hot topic staff now has to get used to seeing venti come by more often than he did before. this time, not just to bother the hell out of zhongli and be told that if he didn’t leave in the next second, he’d throw rocks at him. now, they had to get used to venti trying to have a long conversation with xiao about all sorts of shit happening in kpop. new group comebacks, new hair colors, and new choreographies to learn! 

“i could see you as being a dancer,” venti commented one day as xiao’s fixing up a mannequin’s clothes. that was certainly surprising to hear, considering xiao never really took the time to consider what he’d do if he were in an idol group. he never really thought of that because the most he’s done in terms of kpop was just listen to venti and also listen to what venti recommends. 

“why a dancer?” he asked, tilting his head to the side as he tries to button up a hufflepuff cardigan. 

“you seem like one of those types to have like very sharp movements!” he continued  with compliments that xiao has little to no understanding over. “like, i think you’d be the type to look at a dance practice and understand the techniques and how some people are executing moves, then be able to mimic it perfectly and quickly!” he then presses his index finger to his lips, a little quirk that xiao found endearing as it was shown to indicate that he was thinking heavily. “though, you could be a rapper, too. i could see you being a rapper. emo music taste and all.” 

xiao gave a neutral face to the other’s insight, making the other laugh at his change of expression immediately. “gee, thanks. i love it when people pick on me for liking pop-punk and rock,” he said with a flat voice. 

“hey! don’t give me that look!” venti chuckled. “if it makes you feel any better, i used to pick on morax for his music taste back at celestia. he has such an old person taste in music, always complaining about ‘how music back then was so much better than it is now.’ ugh! what a hag!” 

someone laughed at venti’s comment and it really shouldn’t be surprising that it came from none other than hutao. the both of them look over at her and she only gives them a grin. “it’s true! he is always doing that!” she responded as an attempt to defend herself for laughing at his joke. “he also always talks to the other customers about it, too. at least, the customers who also thinks the way he does.” 

it should be a relief that he wasn’t here to be hearing all of this right now. otherwise, he would hear a mouthful from the guy. as much as he respects him, he definitely did not mind picking on him every now and then, even if he is around. 

venti grinned at the girl’s comment before he turns his focus back onto xiao and the discussion they were having. “anyways, what position do you think i’d fit? judging from your minimal knowledge of kpop and all.” 

he couldn’t help but laugh a little at that. was it obvious that xiao was doing his own research with kpop because of venti? he knows that zhongli and ganyu know him and his relationship with him fairly well to point that out every chance he gets. and with hutao being involved with that gossip, she’s been wagging her eyebrows at him whenever they get a shipment of kpop merch in. “look~ it’s your favorite~” she would say in a teasing tone, gaining an eye roll from xiao over her horrible cheesiness. “what! you gotta do all the research that you can for your crush~” 

back into reality. he’s posed with the question and it takes him a bit to think of the question and his answer. finally, he comes to one. “main vocal, maybe?” 

“oh?” venti replied with a smile. “why do you say that?” 

he’s not sure if he wants to admit his reason why. because the only thing that xiao could think of when it came to venti’s voice was their first meeting in which he heard the other’s gorgeous singing voice. and though that was the exact moment in which xiao found himself getting interested in him, he didn’t want the other to know that now. it’d be embarrassing, especially considering the fact that he doesn’t know about his feelings yet. 

he shrugged. “you seem like the singing type. you hum to some of the songs in here every now and then.” 

“oh? i do? that’s embarrassing,” venti responded rather sheepishly, laughing while he scratched the back of his neck. at the time, xiao wanted to tell him that it wasn’t embarrassing. it was actually endearing to be greeted by his voice, especially when it was to a tune he liked. 

to a tune they both liked, since xiao found himself liking those songs solely because of him. 

xiao thinks back to that very event one night as he’s having a conversation with venti over discord. is it foolish of him to wonder if venti himself thinks back on conversations with him? he wouldn’t be surprised if that wasn’t the case. xiao wasn’t exactly much of a memorable face, nor was he anyone significant. he isn’t as mature and respected as zhongli, nor is he as kind and gentle as ganyu. not to mention, he’s pretty sure the other sales associates have more upbeat conversations with the customers than he does. but it’s not like he doesn’t try his best. every now and then, he would have a good and meaningful conversation with customers about music or anime and they’d compliment him to the associates at the register while he was continuing to censor through clothes, acting as if he couldn’t listen to it at all. 

and those few moments are the ones in which he feels proud of the most. moments where he feels like he connects with the customers and doesn’t drive them away. because with the person that he is, he’s not surprised if people show that they are timid around him. to be honest, he couldn’t blame them, with everything he’s done and all. 

as he goes through his for you page, he wonders to himself… why me? what is so special about me that makes venti want to stick around me? was it because he was super friendly and just pitied xiao? he could understand if that’s the case, given the fact that the boy was practically friends with everyone and anyone in the mall. his personality is so charming and he’s so cheerful. surely there must be a reason as to why he wants to be close with someone as gloomy as him. 

but what is it?? will xiao ever know what it is? 

suddenly, he expects the reply he was looking for. he quickly clicks on the notification as soon as it pops up, not even bothering to read it as it appears on the top of his screen just so he can read the response with the context of the entire conversation. he has to, just so he doesn’t misunderstand it by accident. (he never does. he always understands it, based on the situation. but it was best to be safe.) 

alatus

> what are you doing up so late?

carmendei

> i should ask you the same question! 

> don’t you have an opening shift tomorrow? 

> you should be going to sleep >n< 

the emoji makes xiao smile, even if he is used to seeing that from him. what else can he expect from someone as adorable and bright as him? certainly nothing less. though xiao doesn’t reply with the same energy, he knows he doesn’t have to fret about that when it comes to venti. after this amount of time knowing each other, he feels safe around him to not be judged over trivial matters such as that. 

alatus

> mm… 

> yeah yeah… i’ll go to sleep soon

> i just need to read one more chapter of the yakshas

> you know how i feel about it… 

the yakshas is the webtoon novel that xiao had recently discovered. and after that discovery, he simply couldn’t put his phone away. even during his breaks, if he’s not spending time with venti, he’s in the back reading more of it or talking about it with his online friends. he’s even convinced venti to download the webtoons app so that he could eventually read it one day. has he read it yet? he wasn’t sure. it didn’t stop xiao from talking to him about it, though. 

“carmendei is typing…” shows up at the bottom of the screen and xiao watches those little words on that little bar before it eventually disappears, the new messages that venti have sent grabbing his attention. 

carmendei

> yeah yeah!!! i know you’re super obsessed w it hehe

> i promise i’ll read it soon!!! … once the promotions for dreamcatcher’s comeback ends 

> have you listened to their new song yet? what do you think of it? 

alatus

> i thought it was good, but not my favorite

> i kinda missed when they had their rock sound? it kinda sounds like they’re going for more pop 

> idk i still think deja vu is my favorite 

carmendei 

> that makes sense!!! yeah deja vu was chefs kiss

> like the concept of it was absolutely spectacular <3 

> you should listen to the rest of the mini album!!! my favorite track from it is alldaylong UGHHH it’s so good i just love the city pop sound 

alatus 

> hahah okay i’ll listen to it just for you 

carmendei 

> omg xiaooo don’t make me blush hehehehe 

> that’s kinda fruity of you 

alatus

> … 

> i’m going to block you 

carmendei 

> WAIT NO I’M JOKING I’M JOKING PLEASSEEEEE

alatus 

> … 

> /j 

> lmao 

carmendei 

> UR SO MEAN TTTTTTT 

there would be a good place to end their conversation because there wasn’t anything else on that topic for xiao to say next. and it’s not like he didn’t have something in mind to talk about next because there was. but the topic in general is a bit heavy and he’s not sure if venti would want to talk about that. he’s so used to seeing the other being happy and excited all the time. he didn’t want to ruin anything or make him uncomfortable just because of his selfish curiosity. plus, he wasn’t sure if they were that comfortable enough yet… 

that was a stupid thought. venti literally saw xiao have a panic attack in the back of a hot topic because of his abuser. there’s probably nothing that can make him be uncomfortable with him anymore. but still… ugh. why does this topic have to be so difficult to approach? 

xiao sighs as he slams his phone lightly at his forehead. maybe that will make him actually think of what to do rather than leave his mind in a tangled mess left by overthinking. “fuck it,” he mumbles to himself finally and quickly moves his thumbs to type up a response and click send, exiting out of the app so that he could distract his mind from thinking up anxious thoughts by reading more of the webtoon. no time to get anxious over boys who you have been crushing on because they’re a regular at your workplace. xiao couldn’t let himself get carried away. that’d basically be a nightmare. 

as he gets through a few pages, he eventually does hear the notification sound, along with the little message preview at the top. sighs. there’s certainly no way of avoiding it now. all he can do at this point is just hope for the best and that this conversation doesn’t go south. with his luck, he wouldn’t be surprised if it went poorly. 

… so that’s why he is surprised to get a response such as this. 

alatus 

> hey… i hope i’m not prying too much when i ask this question (just let me know if you feel uncomfortable with me asking and i’ll back off) but may i ask… what it is that makes you still want to be friends with me? 

> i just don’t understand because i’m not exactly the most approachable person in the staff. and i know that there are people more intriguing like morax, ganyu… hell, even chongyun is cooler than me and that guy’s still in high school 

> so just… why me? what makes you so interested in wanting to know me more? 

carmendei 

> you’re fine! i understand what you mean. and you’re not making me uncomfortable at all! 

> to answer your question though… 

> i’m usually a little bit protective when it comes to close friends of mine or people who i consider special to me. 

> i don’t want to get too into it but 

> a few years ago, my friend passed away and i was. absolutely crushed and i felt so alone and that was perhaps the most awful feeling i have ever felt. 

> i just don’t want other people to go through what i’ve been through. loneliness can hurt you so much and you wouldn’t even be aware of the pain at first until much later. 

that was… certainly an answer that xiao did not expect to read. he types in something to add to the conversation so that the “silence” that followed after the messages wouldn’t be as awkward. 

alatus

> you had a friend pass away? 

carmendei 

> yeah. we used to be super close and i would always follow him around every where. he would sing songs for me and i’d join in with him. he’s a reason as to why i’m in love with music. 

> we were purely platonic, but i feel like i depended on him too much… you know what i mean? 

> when he had passed on, i felt so… empty. i didn’t know what to do with myself. i tried to make myself look like him by getting his fashion sense and all that just so i can still have a bit of him with me. because our friendship really shaped me to be the person i am today. 

> before he came into my life, i was kind of a grouch and a loner. 

alatus 

> kin 

the boy laughed as soon as he sent the message. 

carmendei 

> JIFWJIFEWO UR SO IRRITATING 

> but anyways, yeah. when he came into my life, i learned how to appreciate life a little more.

> when he died, i thought it was so unfair of fate to do that to him. i always believed that out of the two of us, i was the one with the most flaws. the one that deserved anything bad that came my way. and yet, they took the one who was innocent and had no crimes to his name. 

> i wanted to be able to try and bring the hope, happiness, and love that he brought to my life to others as well. as a result, i… essentially took his brand and made it my own. and now, i aspire to make others smile or even feel any other emotion besides anger and resentment. 

> and every now and then, i find myself thinking of him and the fact that he’s the one who’s gone when it should’ve been me. so i drink with kaeya a lot. 

> you know, the guy from h&m. 

> …

> i’m sorry! i’m getting a little too emotional and i tend to ramble when i do that LOL 

> don’t mind me. i hope you don’t think i’m some sad ol loser lol 

alatus 

> no. i don’t think you’re a loser at all. 

and he didn’t. it’s not like xiao would ever think of venti in a derogatory way, but with the context of this, he would never think of him in such a way. why would he do that when he knew how the other had felt? when just the description of how much that time affected him tugged at xiao’s heartstrings because of how… familiar each little moment he described was. it hurts to see venti brush it off like it’s nothing. it makes him wonder if there have been people in his past that have brushed his concerns off the same way xiao has had his ignored. 

he’ll take that opportunity to let him know that they are seen. he quickly begins to type away at his phone screen. 

alatus

> i’m really sorry to hear about that. knowing you, i’m sure your friend had such a beautiful soul and i hope they rest in peace for all the good they have done. 

> but, on the topic of that, you should never apologize for expressing your feelings, whether they are happy or not. 

> it’s okay to not be okay… you know? 

> i know that it sounds super easy and basic now, but i really mean it. it’s okay to be sad every once in a while. you’re valid for being upset about this. and i’m glad you are sharing your kindness with others as a result of it, including me. 

should he talk about it? … perhaps it would be helpful if he did. just so the other knows that xiao is not just saying that to try and cheer him up. as he types up his message, he takes some moments to stop and take a deep breath. god. being vulnerable is so difficult for him. he’s so used to keeping his emotions and pain in a box and pushing it far away from everyone. the last time he had revealed this much about himself to anyone, they ended up using it against him in the future. and though he’s scared to face that again, he has hope that venti would not put him through that situation. he trusts him… at least, he thinks he does. he hopes that he’s right to trust him. 

alatus

> i had a few friends pass away a few years ago too. we had gotten into an accident and i was one of the few survivors. 

> i… haven’t told this to anyone, mainly because i’m afraid of what they’ll think of me. 

a minute passes since he sent those messages and he gets a new notification. 

carmendei 

> oh no… xiao i’m so sorry… 

> and what do you mean… what they’ll think of you? 

god. this was going to be a tough one to figure out. as xiao writes the message, he finds himself frequently typing something out, then erasing it as a way to scrap the thought of saying that in the first place. he can’t seem to make a solid decision and it’s a bit depressing that he’s overthinking on how to talk to someone you trust about such a personal topic. death in general was difficult to talk about. but after all of the shit that xiao has gone through? he feels like he’s experienced hell on teyvat. 

fortunately, he does eventually come up with a message to send to him. 

alatus

> i’m afraid they’ll think i’m bad luck. 

> to be honest, i wouldn’t be surprised if they did. ganyu once told me she avoided me because she had heard the rumor from when we went to school together. 

> obviously, she got to know me better. but she and zhongli are the only ones that know about it. no one else does. all my boss knows is that i’m… mentally ill!

> which is great! because who isn’t mentally ill that’s working at hot topic? 

… that sounded wrong. 

alatus 

> /j 

> but yeah. i don’t know. a lot of people don’t being around in me general. it wouldn’t surprise me if once they figure out the truth about me, they’ll want to avoid me forever. 

> the people i work with are so nice. they feel like a family to me, almost. i just can’t bear to even think about the possibility. 

hopefully that will make the message less embarrassing than it already is. xiao can only hope, anyways. 

he watches as the narrow rectangle pops up above the text box once again, closing out of the app so that he doesn’t have to think about how venti could possibly respond to a message like that. it was so... heavy. why did he have to say too much? and it was already too late to go back and delete that now, especially with the fact that venti’s status was not “do no disturb” like it usually was. xiao himself was always awkward when someone was vulnerable with him. he remembered the one time chongyun went to him and talked to him about how difficult his life was thanks to his condition that xiao already forgotten. god did he wish he could’ve been more helpful to him that time. he hates being so stupid. 

what app can he possibly use to distract himself now? he clearly can’t be distracted by the yakshas webtoon, at this point. his other go-to app would be one of his games, but he wants to make sure he goes to sleep tonight rather than spend the entire night levelling up cards. he could go on youtube, but he wouldn’t want to leave venti waiting on him because he got too engrossed in whatever video he’s watching. or even worse… he could fall asleep to the sound of the video playing. UGH! there was just so many thoughts in his head that he had no idea which one to listen to. 

thankfully, he doesn’t have to overthink that much anymore as he hears the familiar notification sound. immediately, he switches over to the app again, this time deciding to stay on the app until whenever he decides to sleep… or whenever venti decides to fall asleep. sure it’s 12:30 in the morning, but it’s not the first time xiao has stayed up late to talk to the other? it’s not even the first time since he’s stayed up this late before a morning shift at work because, xiao being xiao, has stayed up much later than this. there were even some days where he had been up for 24 hours. 

carmendei 

> i’m so sorry you’ve had to go through that, xiao… that sounds awful :( 

> i know it’s easier said than to believe but… you aren’t bad luck. 

> you shouldn’t blame yourself for something you had no control over. it’s unfair to yourself. you have already lived such a difficult life and you know that. please, be more kinder to yourself. 

> not only that, but it’s not your fault if people choose to avoid you. it’s their fault for judging your character before even getting to know you. 

> if they’re going to treat you like that, then they don’t deserve your concern or attention. period. 

> … also… if you ever need someone to talk to.. like about grieving and stuff… i’m here. 

> my experience is not exactly the same, but i understand how you feel. 

> please know… you’re not alone. 

the last message sticks to him. of course he’s aware that he’s not the only one he knows who has lost someone deeply important to him. though he acts all broody and cold around others, that didn’t mean he was selfish. but he never felt comfortable talking to someone about that, let alone talking about any bit of information that made him vulnerable. the fact that venti even offered to be an ear to him meant much more than he thought it would. the fact that xiao didn’t mind telling venti all that and now won’t have to mind in the future… he’s already known it. he already feels as though the both of them understand each other, despite their different personalities around others, they had more in common than xiao had thought. 

alatus 

> i know. thank you. i'm glad to know that i at least have someone as kind as you.

> you’re really admirable for wanting to bring people joy and hope while also still trying to find that for your heart. i really commend you for that. 

> and though i need to tell myself this too, it is unfair to be hard on yourself and wish to change positions with the deceased. and i know i sound like a hypocrite, but i really want to emphasize that your existence has brought such a positive impact on others. including me. 

> please… don’t forget that. 

he doesn’t have to wait too long for a notification. 

carmendei 

> thank you xiao. 

> i’m so thankful for you. /g /srs

> know that i mean it when i say that your existence has brought a positive impact on me, too. 

though the messages are short, xiao doesn’t mind them because he knows that the words are honest and true. he continues on the messages by going onto a different topic and when it reaches that time, xiao rests his eyes and has perhaps the most soundest of sleeps he’s had in a very long time. 

“you know, you didn’t have to wait for me. you really could have just gone by yourself.” 

he didn’t want to sound mean, but that was the truth. even if xiao appreciated the extra company after the end of his shift, he really did not understand why venti was so insistent on coming along with him and walking him to his car. whenever the boy showed up at the job, one of the workers would make sure to tell xiao as soon as possible. hutao especially likes to be very obvious about it, screaming “XIAOO! YOUR BOYFRIEND IS HERE!” 

perhaps it was a bad decision to hire such a social and comfortable extrovert… nah… she was good at making sales and she’s good company, even if she likes picking on poor xiao a lot. 

“but it’s no fun walking around the mall on your own, even if you’re headed home,” venti says with a small smile. “besides, i know you’re all about being alone all the time, but there’s gotta be some times where you can have some company, right?” 

xiao sighs. “you’re lucky that i never mind yours.” and of course, there’s a specific reason as to why that is… and xiao wonders if venti’s even aware of it. he wouldn’t be surprised if he already knew, considering the whole entire store was aware of his feelings. even verr’s done her fair sharing of picking on him about it. 

“you have to tell him eventually, you know,” he remembered ganyu saying in a past conversation. “it’s going to eat you up inside if you don’t. every time you talk to me about how he makes you feel, you’re constantly in some sort of limbo about how ‘he might not feel the same.’” 

“because he doesn’t feel the same,” xiao said immediately after her. 

“you don’t know that!” she huffed. “have you ever even asked him?” 

he was silent. 

“exactly. so when you eventually get the balls to ask, that’s when you’ll finally be able to tell me if he feels the same or not.” 

and he’s had that conversation playing in the back of his head whenever he was with him to the point that it drove him crazy. every single moment with him made him wonder if now was the time to tell him. was he even ready to tell him? are they close enough to the point that it’ll ruin their friendship if he tells him? as much as his feelings overwhelmed him, the idea of him ruining their friendship because of his huge, gay crush had been distressing him for quite some time. he’s even stressing about it now as the both of them approach xiao’s car. 

“it’s a shame that we can’t hang out any longer,” venti says with a little pout. “i was really looking forward to spending a little more time with you, you know. but… you’re a busy student.” 

he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed himself. he definitely would not mind spending a little bit of more time with the other. but, he did care a good amount about his grades and he told himself that he would not get his personal life involved with it. so it is what it is. “i’m sorry. i promise i’ll hang out with you longer after my next shift.” 

“you don’t need to promise me that, silly,” he laughs at him before he tugs on his cheek, making the other’s blank face turn into a pouting look. “i’m gonna bother you regardless! plus, never feel like you have to apologize to me over anything. okay?” 

as venti moves his hand away from his cheek, xiao drops the pout and smiles softly at the boy. “okay. thank you.” he looks back at his car before he looks back at the other. “um… i should… get going now.” 

“well, don’t let my wonderful presence stop you from getting home!” he giggles. xiao smiles and turns so that he could open his door as soon as clicked the unlock button. as he got himself seated in his driver’s seat, he hears the other speak his farewell. “text me when you get home!” 

and with those words, he finds himself thinking back to that conversation with ganyu again…. because, for some odd reason, he does not want that to be the last thing he says to him before they eventually both go home to their beds and ramble on about whatever interests they have (not that those conversations were ever meaningless to xiao because he really did appreciate them.) though he did not want to admit it, xiao had been feeling unsettled after every single time they both had to part and every single night they both tell each other that they’re heading off to bed and wish their good nights. the moment xiao starts driving on his way home, he’ll think about the words he have left unsaid. he’ll think about whether or not venti’s eyes when he’s talking about his favorite webtoons and video games excitedly are full of fondness or not. he’ll wonder about whether or not venti thinks about leaning in every time they keep eye contact with each other. 

… if he’s going home and leaving venti solely because of the fact that he needs to study, how can he expect to understand the material if his head is just full of him calling himself a coward for not doing anything? 

he thankfully does not have the engine turned on, but venti was already heading on his way to his own car, meaning xiao had to act quickly. he clicks on the buckle of his seatbelt and opens the door, making sure not to trip as he rushes outside and slams the door behind him. he doesn’t want to seem too desperate, but he also doesn’t want to miss this opportunity. so,,,

“wait! venti!” 

the other turned around, looking at the other with a confused look. fuck. maybe he shouldn’t do this. maybe he should just try to find an excuse or some other dumb thing to say to him… but then why would he get out of his car in the first place? he would’ve gotten out and just prolonged his studying time for nothing. he clearly tried to get venti’s attention for something. if it’s just to call him a nerd, then it’d be pointless. he didn’t want this to be a pointless conversation. 

he has the balls. he’s gotta prove that he’s got them. 

“yes?” the other said, probably to occupy the awkward silence that filled the air. 

with a deep breath, xiao makes his way over to the other. and though he is determined to prove to himself that he could do this, he does not stomp. rather, he walks with a newfound confidence as he approaches the other, holds his face by putting his hands on the other’s cheeks and leaning forward to place his lips on the other’s, forgetting to tilt his face to the side to avoid their noses from bumping into each other. 

it was merely a peck because as soon as they touched, xiao found himself backing up from venti immediately, covering his mouth as his face immediately heated up. he then stares at venti to see his reaction, watching the other show a look of surprise… and… a.. smile? 

he lets out a chuckle and xiao finds himself wondering why. WHY did he let out a chuckle?! was it because xiao was a bad kisser? FUCK he really should’ve thought before he leaned in. he’s obviously kissed people before… why did he do it so sloppily like that? he didn’t even pucker his lips enough! the kiss probably felt… bony. UGH! THIS WAS SUCH A FUCKING MESS! 

“wow! i’m proud that you actually grew a pair to do that.” 

as soon as he hears that, xiao’s mouth falls and his hand drops to his side as he stares at the other in disbelief… what… did he just say?? 

“you knew?! ” xiao exclaimed a little too loud. he’s just glad that the mall was closed and that the both of them were most likely the only ones in the parking lot. and to xiao’s outburst, venti bursts into laughter. 

“i know you’re meant to be all cool and brooding and all, but you can’t really hide your feelings around me,” he says with a playful grin. “plus, your coworkers proudly proclaim that i’m your boyfriend whenever i come to your store. don’t think i’ve never heard them, lattie.” 

his face gets even more hot just from hearing those words, but he’s left in shock that he can’t even groan in embarrassment or facepalm in shame. he told them to knock it off and to not make him look a clown. HE TOLD THEM TO NOT DO THAT! AND HERE HE IS, FACING THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR ACTIONS! 

he watches as venti walks closer to him and he feels his entire body freeze as the other cups his face with one hand. “may i?” the other asks with a small voice and a smile that’s enough to make xiao’s heart flutter.

with no hesitation, the other nods his head. “please.” 

venti smirks. “you’re such a fruit cake,” he teases at the other before he tilts his head (so that they don’t have a repeat of the noses bumping) and leans in to kiss xiao this time. xiao closes his eyes and feels as if he can see fireworks and flowers behind his eyelids as he kisses the other back. holy fuck his lips were soft as hell. and kinda wet.. did the other put something on his lips before this? or was he just as nervous as xiao was about this? 

holy fuck. holy mother of mora… he’s kissing venti. holy FUCK. 

as the two pull apart, xiao finds himself wanting to lean in more already. but he can’t. he knows he can’t because the moment he kisses him again, he’ll fucking melt. 

“let me know when you get home, okay?” vent says with a smile as if everything was normal and as if everything was fine. it felt as if kissing was going to be a normal thing between them now and xiao doesn’t want to ask to confirm if it’s true because he doesn’t want to face the possibility of it not. he just has to hope… and get better at it along the way. 

he nods his head. “y-you too.” 

and with that, the both of them parted ways, venti finally making his way to his own car and xiao starting the engine of his after buckling his seatbelt and closing the door. 

as he waits for that blue light to disappear to indicate that his car is warmed up and ready to go, he leans forward so that his torso rested on his tire. by the time his car was warmed up, he went on his way home with no stress on his mind as relief had washed it all away and instead replaced it with a sweet memory that had him smiling all the way home.