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“Mr. Stark?” Peter whispers, poking the man lightly in the side. “Are you awake?”
“Mmph,” Tony oofs, rolling over to face Peter. “Well I wasn’t, but I am now. What is it?”
“I’m sorry,” says Peter, though he’s really too excited to be overly concerned about the whole thing. “It’s just that, I had an idea.”
“Oh, God,” Tony groans. “I don’t think I’ll be sleeping again any time soon.”
***
“I did not invent time travel in order to feed your fanboy fantasies.”
“But you invented it to help people, right?”
“Yes, but Harry Potter is not real.”
“In some cultures, we’re not real.”
“You wouldn’t be able to read about Harry Potter in a Scholastic book that came out fifteen years ago if he were real.”
“They make comic books about me these days, I even have a Wikipedia page, man! Does that mean that I’m not real?”
“I am beginning to think that you are nothing more than a fever-induced hallucination, yeah. Might even be hoping it.”
***
“The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches… born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies…”
“I was born in mid-August, but whatever,” Peter says, swinging into the 90s and shooting out a web for the prophecy before shattering it on the floor.
Hermione shrieks. “What the fuck!?”
“Blimey, Hermione, did you just curse?” says Ron, bewildered. “Harry, did you just hear her curse?”
“Yeah, but we’ve kind of got a lot going on at the moment, Ron,” Harry says, casting more spells at the Death Eaters as they’re distracted with gaping at the weirdo that just appeared in the red and blue onesie and the guy with the strange facial hair in a three-piece suit. They probably wouldn’t all be so shocked if they’d spent more time in the Muggle world, Harry had seen some pretty wild things on the sidewalks of London. He turned to the new people once he was sure all the Death Eaters were down, though he didn’t lower his wand as he eyed them suspiciously. “Who are you?”
“Spider-Man. Look, dude, we’re from the future,” says the one wearing the mask, “and I know that shouldn’t really shock you as you did the whole time travel thing in your third year in order to save your godfather from dying, which, like, I just did that again for you so you’re welcome for that.”
“Er- what?”
Peter laughs. “Your “what” sounds just like it does in real life as it does in the YouTube compilations!”
Harry is just about to say whot again when the door bursts open and half of the Order of the Phoenix stumbles in. Sirius’ eyes immediately land on Harry and he rushes over to him.
“Harry! Are you oka-”
“Mr. Black!” Peter is nearly salivating at the mouth at the sight of this handsome hunk of man. He’s totally straight and in love with MJ, of course, but there’s just something about so-called fictional men such as Sirius Black and Thor that simply must be gawked at and admired. “It’s such an honor to meet you, sir, oh my God. And to save your ass, of course, because if not for me your bat-shit crazy cousin totally would have killed you by now.”
Harry is still confused as hell, but he’s obviously pretty well accustomed with just going with the flow of things at this point in his life. “Erm, yeah, Sirius, I’m fine. This is… Spider-Man? He’s um… from the future, I guess.”
“You can call me Peter, actually,” Peter says, ripping his mask off his head. He can clearly hear Tony sigh exasperatedly beside him. “Come on, Mr. Stark, they’re Harry Potter characters for goodness sakes. We’re all friends here.”
“Yeah, you thought that Beck was your friend too,” Tony coughs. Peter whips his head around to glare at him.
“Are you- did you seriously just- what a low fucking blow, Mr. Stark, low fucking blow!”
“Mhm, sorry, Underoos. Anyway, can we get this show on the road? If we hurry we can be back in time for me to miss that four o’clock appointment Pepper scheduled me in for.”
“Oh, yeah,” says Peter, turning back to the bewildered Harry Potter characters. “So, like, as I was saying; we’re from the future and we’re here to save, like, literally thousands of people from death and prevent a whole heck of a lot of PTSD and trauma for you guys. Sorry we couldn’t schedule this for before the third task last year, Harry.”
“Um…”
“Anyway, I really need to talk to your somewhat senile headmaster about all of this because I have a lot of vital information that can knock out this whole Voldemort problem in like an hour, tops.”
“Well, he can’t be a Death Eater if he’s just casually throwing around the V-word like that,” Hermione considers.
“I think it’s more commonly referred to as a V-card rather than V-word, but I haven’t even mentioned virginity or my lack thereof-”
“Now just wait one damn minute-” Tony starts but Peter ignores him.
“-so I’m not sure what you’re going for there, but anyway, no, I’m not a Death Eater. I could also make the argument that Snape isn’t even a Death Eater if you really wanna get into it.”
Sirius bristles. “He most certainly is, he has the mark to prove it!”
“Yeah, and a branded cow can’t ever be sold to another farmer. Not that I support the buying and selling of human beings as that’s borderline human trafficking, well not really even borderline, just is, nor am I suggesting that Dumbledore purchased him per se, but well, guilt and blackmail go a long way in this world, man.”
“Did I hear my name?” comes the voice of the man with the long beard and twinkling eyes himself, casually strolling over to the group of people as though this isn’t the strangest moment in the history of both the Wizarding World and Marvel Cinematic Universe.
“Hey, Professor Dumbledore!” Peter greets, reaching out to shake his hand. “I’m just meeting like all of my childhood idols tonight. Not that I was the biggest fan of you towards the end of the series, but hey, everyone has a dark side, and that’s okay.”
Dumbledore furrows his brow, but Peter doesn’t give him much time to contemplate this mess of a paragraph. “So, as I’ve been trying to make clear for the past twenty-two minutes, I really need to talk to you guys somewhere private, preferably that awesome office of yours, Dumbles. I’m Peter, by the way, and this,” he gestures towards Tony, “is my mentor, father figure type person or whatever, Tony Stark. He’s kind of like, super famous in the future and totally cool, but he doesn’t want to be here right now because he’s kind of too old to appreciate the whole Harry Potter experience.”
“I would have taken the kid to Universal Orlando and Islands of Adventure but he wanted the real deal so it’s your lucky day,” says Tony.
“I am so confused,” Harry admits at last. “But I like the whole spider outfit thing you got going on there, Peter, though I’ve never seen a red or blue spider and certainly not both.”
“Oh, thanks so much! Mr. Stark made it for me though I totally helped with upgrades once he decided to stop ignoring my existence. I love the Hogwarts uniforms so much, I’m definitely going to need to borrow slash steal one of those later on.”
“Well,” says Dumbledore, looking a fair sight less confident about life in general than usual, “I suppose we may discuss things in my office. Would you rather floo or apparate to the castle?”
“As fantasizing as turning inside out sounds,” says Tony, “I think I’ll go with the whole traveling by fireplace thing.”
“You did read the books!” Peter exclaims, turning to lead the way out of the department of mysteries as he knows the Ministry of Magic’s floorplan by heart.
Tony shrugs. “I only watched the movies.”
Peter makes a face.
***
“So you’re telling me that not only am I expected to defeat Voldemort himself,” Harry says, staring at the psychopath that has mapped out his future so clearly, “but there is a part of his soul living inside of me?”
“I think the real question is how long has Albus known about this?” asks Snape. Dumbledore had called him into his office to join in the conversation mostly because he’s the author’s favorite character after Harry.
“Well,” Dumbledore says, avoiding looking anyone in the eyes, “it was only ever a suspicion, you see.”
“Yeah, I see,” Peter nods. “I also see how you’ve lowkey been trying to kill my boy Harry for the entirety of his Hogwarts career, not cool, man, not cool.”
“That is taken entirely out of context,” Dumbledore tries to argue, but Peter is so done with it and on behalf of Harry Potter fans not stuck up Dumbledore’s ass everywhere he doesn’t keep his mouth shut. Not that he does that very often, anyway.
“I think I have more context on the whole situation than anyone else in this room,” he says, crossing his arms. “Taking into consideration the fact that I have all of the collector’s edition book sets plus the standard paperback and hardcover copies that I have read several hundred times, not to mention the movies on DVD and occasionally watch them on Peacock’s streaming service when they have the rights to them for a few weeks at a time. No offense, but I’m not paying fifteen dollars a month for HBO Max just to stream the Harry Potter movies. Well, they have Friends too, I guess, but they play reruns of that on twenty different channels every single day and I’m recording so I’m not worried about it. Anyway, I won’t bring up my Harry Potter plushie that I sleep with every night.”
“I would have preferred if you didn’t,” Harry grimaces.
“Point is, I know the future. I know every little detail of how this story ends, and I want to change it for the better. We can still yeet Voldemort to the grave without massive destruction and countless casualties. The Avengers are still working on the whole collateral damage issue themselves but I figure we can test run it here ‘cause you guys are screwed either way.”
“What does “yeet” mean?”
Peter whips out his Stark Phone and pulls up Urban Dictionary before handing it to Harry. “Hang onto that, ‘cause there’s a lot of Gen Z words that I’m going to be throwing out here that your young Millennial mind couldn’t possibly understand.”
“We’re the same age-”
“We’re actually not, you’re not even sixteen yet meanwhile I am sort of sixteen but also sort of twenty-one because of the whole snap thing that I won’t get into right now, but also I’m from the future so technically you’re like over twenty years older than me which is like geez man, you’re kind of ancient but at the same time I’m older than you at this very moment so yeah, get it?”
“No, I don’t get it at all, but thanks for trying, mate,” Harry says, looking down at the phone and trying to understand how it works.
“I’m kind of the only person who ever understands what the kid is saying and I didn’t even get that disaster of a run-on sentence,” Tony pipes in.
“May I ask,” Snape interrupts, looking around at the numerous people gathered in the room before his gaze lands on Peter. “Just who the fuck are you?”
“Who the fuck are you?” Peter shoots back, exhausted with introducing himself. He’s the guy from the future here to save them from their stupidity and was able to shoot webs from his wrists, what was there to misunderstand?
Snape scoffs. “I asked you first.”
Peter smirks. “I asked you second.”
Snape is getting annoyed, like, more annoyed than he usually is with children, Peter can tell. The last thing he needs is for his favorite character to hate him more than he hates Harry, even if the interaction between himself and Snape oddly reminds him a lot of Spongebob and Squidward’s dynamic, which is precious.
“I’m just playing with you, dude. I know exactly who you are.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, Professor Severus Tobias Snape, my man! Always knew that you were a good guy. Even when you yeeted Dumbledore off the astronomy tower, I never lost faith in you.”
“When he did what now?” Sirius growls.
“Yeah, one of my favorite scenes. That reminds me, one of the Horcruxes is a ring and someone should definitely accompany Dumbles on the little escapade to retrieve it because he’s not going to be able to resist trying to put that ring on and then pretty much killing himself because it contains a curse, so 10/10, don’t recommend.”
“Are you saying that Snape is going to kill Dumbledore?” Ron asks, totally shook.
“Mhmm, but don’t worry about it, I doubt it will happen now. As long as we take care of the Horcruxes and Snape doesn’t go making any unbreakable vows with Narcissa Malfoy, we should be good to go.”
“How can you possibly say that Snape is the good guy?” Harry’s eyes narrow.
“Oh, shoot, I guess we’ll have to forget about that beautiful scene as well… Basically, Snape clearly doesn’t like you because he can’t get over his hatred for your dead father but at the same time he feels obligated to protect you because you’re the son of his childhood best friend.”
Harry is gobsmacked, turning to stare at Snape. “You- you knew my mum?”
“Yep,” Peter answers, “I’d be surprised if they didn’t shag one another at one point or another.”
“You slept with my mother!?” Harry nearly shrieks.
“No!” Snape answers immediately. “We were friends, yes, but it wasn’t like that.”
“Ohh,” says Peter, “sorry, I guess I kind of just assumed as it was heavily implied but to be fair I only read that chapter once because it was so painful and is one of the top ten reasons I cry myself to sleep at night on a consistent basis even years after the fact so I might have only picked up more of that undertone from the tumblr gossip, especially from the Snater group chats. Not that I’m in any of those, as I identify as a Snover, but I’ve seen some of the screenshots under the #Pro Snape tag. Don’t believe everything you read on the internet, kids, especially when it appears on your timeline.”
“What’s tumblr?”
“Do I look like a tour guide to you?” Peter says before gesturing towards the Stark Phone still held by Harry. “Please refer to the Urban Dictionary.”
“Wait,” Hermione says as Harry is typing tumblr into the search bar, “how is that phone even working? Electronics don’t work at Hogwarts.”
“It’s a Stark Phone,” Peter rolls his eyes as though the answer were obvious. “It can do anything, anywhere. Don’t question it.”
“How can I not question it? That’s not logical.”
“You know what’s not logical? The fact that you supposedly are super smart but yet I doubt that you could answer a single science question on a multiple-choice examination at my STEM school. I don’t understand why people bully you for being a know it all when you clearly don’t know it all.”
“Hey!” Ron shouts unnecessarily as Hermione turns red, “don’t be an arse to her!”
“It’s not as though you’ve never called her out for being a know it all, Mr. Can Do No Wrong but yet Always Does Wrong. I’m not being an ass, I'm simply being a little shit, it’s part of my personality and most people find it to be extremely charming so you should probably just get used to it.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t, maybe we should just yeet you and this Stark guy off the balcony!”
“Hey, hey, hey, don’t you dare touch Mr. Stark you little redheaded menace! You’ve always been my least favorite Weasley besides Percy even before movies screwed up your relationship with Harry, I still haven’t forgotten about the whole abandoning him thing last year!”
Harry stands up then, pushing an angry Ron aside to prevent him from attacking Peter, whom he now looks at strangely. “Er, thanks, mate, really, but… why exactly are you so obsessed with my… character?”
“Dude,” says Peter, “you’re awesome. Like the most underrated main character in history which is crazy considering that the entire franchise is literally titled after you. Your adventures at Hogwarts are extremely entertaining and you have such a tragic backstory and well, kind of a shitty main story as well. It actually makes me cry myself to sleep at night when I’m not staying up until I pass out from reading whumpy fanfic on Potions and Snitches about Snape being your dad, biological or adoptive, either one works for me, and rescuing you from the horror that is your childhood.”
“Whot--”
“I think we can all collectively agree that you just shared far too much information with us and I will be making a call to your therapist when we get back home,” Tony says.
“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea, anyway, the point I’m trying to get at here, Harry, is that I totally relate to you. For one thing, I have Mr. Stark, who is like my version of Snape, you catch my drift?”
“Mr. Stark hates you?” Harry ventures.
“No, no, we’re not talking about canon Snape right now, we’re talking about fanfiction Snape, but just- forget that. I’m an orphan just like you!”
“Uh, that’s nice?”
“Yep, we’re in the same boat. Well, I actually can kind of remember my parents a bit and didn’t actually witness their deaths, so I’m probably a little better off than you but still, I grew up with my aunt and uncle.”
“Oh,” Harry says, shuffling his feet. “Are they…”
“Highkey abusive? No, not even lowkey. Well, my uncle isn’t alive anymore, as I actually did witness him be murdered in front of me, which like, bro, again, you’re welcome for saving you from that same fate with your godfather. If y’all think he’s all angsty teenager now, imagine dealing with him after he had watched the absolutely sadistic act of Bellatrix shoving him through the veil of no return, like can you even imagine the amount of trauma that comes with something like that-”
“Alright, stop, stop, just stop,” Harry holds up a hand. “Are- are you okay? And they’re not- abusive-”
“I think the question is are you okay,” says Peter. “Locking a kid in a cupboard is, like, a federal crime these days I’m pretty sure, at least in the states.”
“A- a what?” Sirius sputters as Harry grows defensive.
“How do you know about that?”
“The first chapter in your point of view in the first book’s opening scene is set in that cupboard. I’m really gonna have to do a Target run and done to get you a copy of your own story at this point, geez.”
“Dumbledore,” Sirius growls and as much as he wants to see shit hit the fan, Peter really just does not have time for this right now.
“You guys can hash out the whole child abuse allegations in your own time, right now I need your attention on me.”
“You can see that he’s a very shy kid,” Tony says as everyone turns their attention back to Peter.
“Yeah, whatever, so, Horcruxes. There are seven pieces of Voldemort’s soul floating around the universe in total, one being in Harry-”
“I’d really prefer if we stopped talking about that now.”
“You better get used to it, buddy. One was the journal in the Chamber of Secrets, one is the ring I mentioned before, belonging to Marvolo Gaunt, another is Slytherin’s locket, Hufflepuff’s cup, Ravenclaw’s diadem, and the final being that huge ugly ass snake he calls Nagini.
“Now is just about the perfect time to pounce and destroy these as I know the location of them all. Once we take care of all of the objects and the snake, we’ll have to hop on convincing Voldemort to kill Harry and all that jazz.”
“Whot--”
“Did I not mention the destruction of the container holding the soul fragment being the only way to kill a Horcrux? Oop…”
“You did not mention my impending death, no.”
“Hey, I don’t wanna do it but I really don’t have time to figure out a better course of action. I can promise that you won’t actually die, I mean Dumbles already tested this theory in the future and you’re a very difficult person to kill, my guy. You’ll be perfectly fine unless you’re, like, suicidal and choose not to come back which I wouldn’t blame you if you are because your life kind of sucks, but hey look to the future that Voldemort won’t be a part of. Though I wouldn’t get too awful excited over the prospect of snogging Cho Chang because things are most definitely not going to work out between you two.”
“Yeah, erm, we’re not exactly… If you’re such a super fan shouldn’t you already know we’re not going out anymore?”
“Oh, yeah, sorry, I kind of skip over the extra cringey parts of the books when I’m re-reading so I’m a little fuzzy on details at times,” Peter coughs, “but anyway, you’re going to end up marrying Ginny Weasley-”
“My sister?! What business does he have with my sister, she’s like twelve!” Ron totally freaks.
“I am not!” Ginny shoots back, red-faced. “I’m literally only a year younger than you.”
“While he’s tied up with your sister, you’re going to be sucking face with Hermione so don’t be bitching about it, and it’s not as though things were ever going to work out with Draco Malfoy, he’s like totally racist and Harry’s mom was a Muggleborn so, yeah, no.”
“What does Malfoy have to do with any of this?” Harry asks, looking disgusted. “And I don’t even swing that way.”
“I know,” Peter agrees, “I actually headcanon you as asexual, so I don’t really get off on the sexual tension of the enemies to lovers thing there. I prefer Draco in a brother role if he has to have a role at all, see A Year Like None Other for reference, but Drarry is like a huuuge thing in the future, so I wouldn’t go on Ao3 if it really bothers you that much but then again there’s a great filtering system so you’ll probably be okay if you take advantage of that. Personally, I ship Hinny all the way, I ship it all damn day. You guys are just so cute together if we ignore the movie adaptions. Like, both of your minds have totally been inhabited by Voldemort at one point or another so that’s just taking having things in common to another level, bonding in its purest form. And naming all three children after dead people? Precious. Albus Severus is definitely my favorite kid even though I haven’t gotten around to reading the Cursed Child just yet mostly because of the play script format rather than the absolute shitshow it’s rumored to be, I’m willing to give it a shot it’s just that I prefer to read fanfic on my phone every single day of my life.”
“Are you telling me that I named one of my children after Severus fucking Snape?” Harry is turning green and practically gagging whilst Snape is, like, absolutely shook with emotions. He’s just scowling though, not crying tears of joy or anything like that.
“No, I’m telling you that you’re going to name one of your children after Severus fucking Snape, we’re not in past tense yet as you’re still a child yourself right now even if some people seem to forget that fact. Anyway, we’ve sidetracked about twenty times in this scene so far and the author has finally narrowed down on all of her notes she jotted down when she was sleep deprived and somewhat high on Midol so let’s go.”
***
It doesn’t take long to find and destroy the majority of the Horcruxes once Peter finally shuts his pie hole and before anyone knows it, Peter is back to encouraging Harry to convince Voldemort to kill him.
“I just don’t know if I should blindly trust the word of the guy who just randomly showed up in a red and blue onesie shooting weird web things from his wrists, I mean it’s more than a little suspicious.”
“I’ll take the suit off if it bothers you that much, just be forewarned that I’m not wearing anything under it and I’m not putting those Hello Kitty pajama pants on ever again.”
“Aw, I thought you looked adorable in those,” Tony gushes.
“Yeah, well, I look adorable in just about anything. Look, Harry, do you want me to list the names of everyone who dies in the regular uninterrupted by the super cool spider dude timeline? Or just the ones that people actually care about because I totally can; Sirius, Remus, Fred, Snape, Dumble fucking door-”
“Alright, alright, I’ll do it. Not because I care about Snape or anything even remotely close to that, but I suppose I won’t have to name my kid after him if he doesn’t end up dying in my arms or whatever, gazing into my eyes and imagining my mother while gushing blood everywhere.”
“Thank you for that very vivid and detailed image of my death, Mr. Potter.”
Peter sighs. “You just ruined one of the best scenes in history and yeah don’t ask me why my favorite scenes are the death scenes, just go get yourself killed and resurrected, already. Do hurry back, I have a date tonight if MJ doesn’t break up with me beforehand, I have absolutely no idea why she hasn’t already.”
“Yeah, yeah, see you on the other side or whatever,” Harry says, trekking towards the forest.
“Are we seriously just going to let him walk to his death?” Hermione asks tearfully.
“Oh, stop with the whinging already,” Peter rolls his eyes. “I’ve told you guys like thirty-seven times already he’s not actually going to die. Now just sit your fairly attractive but still not MJ ass down and be patient for a minute.”
It doesn’t take long, considering that there isn’t a Dumbledore ghost for Harry to waste time having an emotional man-to-man coming of age chat with, in which Harry is exposed as the badass motherfucker he is. He doesn’t take the time to play dead either, and he’s soon seen running out of the woods with a very pissed-off Voldemort hot on his tail.
In the end, it’s Snape who casts the killing curse because the whole Elder Wand thing is just too complicated to deal with on top of the Horcruxes without sticking to the original story plan, and it’s difficult to imagine Dumbledore being the one to muster up the phrase “Avada Kedavra” and Harry only knows Expelliarmus which is usually super badass despite Remus’ opinion, but would most definitely not work in this particular situation.
“This feels rather anticlimactic,” Harry says as he stares at Voldemort’s gross dead body. It’s not gross because it’s dead, but because it’s Voldemort and he was hella ugly.
“Well, he flew backward a little bit when Snape cast the spell,” says Peter, “so that counts as a yeet to me, Voldemort has been yeeted. We yeeted that motherfucker and that’s a W in my book.”
“Yeah, thanks for all of this, I guess,” Remus says, speaking for the first time because his existence had been totally forgotten until the last paragraph or so and apparently there’s a lot of silent characters in this fic that are just standing around watching it all unfold.
“No problem, guys! Spider-Man saves the day, per usual.”
“Here’s your phone back,” Harry says, attempting to hand it to Peter who shakes his head.
“No man, you hang onto it. Let’s keep in contact, don’t be a stranger!” he takes a bottle of that liquid time travel stuff from the Ant-Man movies that Tony hands him. “Also you should aim for a career as the Defense Against The Dark Arts professor because Auror is just so vanilla and you’re an excellent teacher. Who the hell do you think is gonna teach Expelliarmus to the next generation of idiots if not you? Snape can’t do everything, despite popular fandom belief.”
Peter waves goodbye and disappears, meanwhile Tony goes over to Harry and snatches the Stark Phone away from him. “This tech hasn’t been invented for another thirty years, kid.” He takes out his own bottle of time travel stuff the author can’t be bothered to Google the name of and disappears back to the future (haha), leaving the Harry Potter characters confused as always.
“Well,” says Luna. “That was strange.”
Dumbledore nods, smiling benignly. “I do like the way that all went down, however. Much preferable to the alternative which results in my death. Now, I believe I will file for retirement and live out the rest of my days in between my timeshare in Tahiti and vacation home in the Hamptons, good luck trying to enjoy Hogwarts with the lack of my presence.”
“Okay, well,” Harry shifts awkwardly. “Should I go snog with Ginny now or like what is my life’s purpose now that Voldemort is dead? I’m kind of lost.”
“I think you should look into therapy,” Hermione suggests.
“And stay away from my sister,” Ron snipes.
“And come live with me,” Sirius says, snatching a scurrying rat up from the ground.
“I’m fine with snogging,” says Ginny.
Neville just smiles because he’s the only kid in the group that hasn’t been mentioned at all and that’s kind of sad. He still was totally the one to slay Nagini behind the scenes because we’re not taking that moment of glory away from him.
***
Peter takes off the B.A.R.F. glasses, sighing contently as he leans back into the sofa. “Thank you, Mr. Stark, that was a lot of fun.”
“It was your idea, kid,” Tony says, closing his eyes to resume his nap. “Just another one of your weird-ass ideas.”
“If only we could do it in real life,” Peter murmurs, contemplating. “Maybe…”
“Oh, God,” Tony groans. “Let an old man get some sleep, will you?”
“Petey, Petey!” Morgan shrieks, running into the living room because if you haven’t picked up on it already, this is set after Far From Home but Tony didn’t die in End Game because the author rejects that reality. “Will you read me Harry Potter again?”
“Absolutely!” Peter says, picking her up and giving her a hug because even in crack there must be fluff. “But how about I tell you a new version of it where Spider-Man swings in and saves them all from self-destruction via their own stupidity? Consider it your first fanfic.”
“That’s the best she’s ever going to get,” Tony says. “I’m banning Archive of Our Own from being accessed by our wi-fi’s IP address, effective immediately. FRIDAY, please, try to save my children’s souls.”
“Don’t worry,” Peter stage whispers into Morgan’s ear. “I have the best ones downloaded onto my Kindle. I won’t let your elderly father deprive you of true art.”
“I heard that,” Tony’s voice comes muffled by a pillow.
“Okay, boomer.”