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Pt. 1
It was weird coming back from the Snap. Especially being woken up with the adrenalin and the order of going into a fight by Dr. Strange. Overall Peter took his role as Spider Man and fought with everyone against the common evil in their world. Though the panic and the battle cries it was nice to be greeted with a hug from Mister Stark. He’s aged during the time everyone was gone, Peter could see the subtle wrinkles around his eyes and the grey hair when he opened up the faceplate of the suit. While wondering about how Mr. Stark's life was for the past five years is something he wanted to do, finally getting a hug from the man was more than enough at the time.
Peter could have predicted that the chances that his mentor and the person he came to associate with his father figure would be the one to finish everything. The silence of the post battle shock and the disappearance of the whole enemy army was particularly early and was broken with a subtle thud of a body falling on the ground. This was when the motions got back and everyone ran over to help Tony Stark, their hero. If it wasn’t for the protection of the suit and the ability of Stephen Strange to perform magic, the man would not have survived the day.
Everything then passed in the blur because all of the injured individuals had been transported through the portal to Wakanda medical for additional treatment.
Sticking to Mr. Stark’s side and trying to keep the tears of happiness and worry at bay, Peter met eyes with Ms. Potts who gave him a small smile.
“It’s good to have you back Peter.” she said going in for a hug
“It’s good to be back Ms. Potts!” answered the boy, no a man, the five years would have made a difference in age it would seem
Peter then heard a similar sentiment from Happy who came to visit Tony at the same time. It was weird for Peter to think that the man would look so kindly at him. With a proposition from Ms. Potts drove him home, Spiderman did not have many wounds and either way they would heal fast, and get some rest.
The two men were mostly in silence when driving through the New York streets to Queens and with a soft goodbye and to check in and keep Peter informed about Mr. Starks condition, the two separated.
It took no longer than a minute for his Spider sense to go off. This time it did not signify danger, but rather anxiety. Quickly taking the stairs up to his apartment, Peter knocked on the door expecting May to answer the call.
Except.
A young man opened the front entrance and not so nicely asked:
“Who the heck are you man?”
With a loss of words Peter managed to say:
“Um, I-i live here. With my aunt, May Parker. I just returned from the snap not a day ago.”
The man at the door lowered his defensive stance and responded:
“You’d better come in then. I assume you’re Peter.”
What followed was a revelation that his Aunt, his only living relative, had died during a raid on their apartment complex and could not be saved by the time the ambulance arrived.
It was as if time had stopped. No. Not May. Not my Aunt May.
These were the only thoughts running through the young man's head as he simply ran out of the door and hastily put on the suit to get to higher ground. Once that was done, he let the tears flow. Clutching his chest to ease the ache that only grows as the seconds pass, Peter could not stop the broken sobs that fell from his mouth and shook his small frame. After what felt like forever, the man fell into exhausted sleep with the open skies looking over him.
Pt. 2
Time is a weird thing. Everyone uses time in different ways, some try to do something important in every minute of the day, while others simply get lost in this concept of time. The regret for that loss comes quickly after the particular realization.
Peter did not know what time it was or how long he had been asleep but he could hear the constant chatter in the streets of NY which really did not help much.
It was cold on top of the roof, but the only feeling that the young man could register was the continuous pain in his heart for the things he lost. Aunt May, his only living relative and the person that has taken care of him all the time and loved him unconditionally was gone. He was alone.
As soon as the thought crossed his mind Peter remembered Mr. Stark and MJ with Ned, he wondered how they were doing.
With the little strength that he had left (having not eaten anything since coming back), Peter decided to go investigate where Ned and MJ could be. Did they also go through the snap? We’re they back? Or did they move on and go through with plans for the future that they discussed late at night during their sleepovers?
The answers came fast, it only took a look into school records and visiting their appropriate homes to find out that his two best friends really did move on to Universities. Not letting that get to his head and simply forcing himself to feel happy and proud of them, Peter decided it was time to call Happy and check in.
The automated voicemail message was a taunting, lound thing to his ears when he stood on top of the roof. He tried again multiple times and got the same response, which led him to sending a message. Surely the response would come faster if Happy was too busy to talk out loud with him.
‘Hey Happy! How is Mr. Stark doing? Please let me know and if you can call me back, there’s something I need to tell you.’
The message was read two days later and no response was given.
By that time Peter went back to the roof and continued to look at the neverending sky, silent tears falling from his hazel eyes, he never felt so alone.
It was not hard to understand where the self hatred started afterwards. The unwanted thoughts of ‘it’s my fault’ ‘I should have done better’ “I wanted you to be better” kept repairing in his mind.
‘Do they blame me as much as I blame myself?’ the boy wondered but the thought was quickly followed by ‘Do they even know I exist anymore?’
Suddenly Peter felt that he did not belong in his body, he was not supposed to come back, being dead was much more peaceful than this. The neverending sleep that came with being snapped was not even noticed by the boy until he was woken for the fight. He wanted to go back.
He shouldn’t be here.
I shouldn't be here.
All of the sudden his feelings became muted. He felt calm once again and made a decision that disappearing was the only choice that he has left.
Too many memories, too many reminders, too strong of a connection was present where he was. He needs to leave this world behind and never come back.
Even with this decision formed, the boy did not feel scared, but he still felt the need to explain himself. They shouldn’t feel guilty for him being gone. They should forget.
Grabbing his spiderman suit, Peter set to end all of the ties keeping him alive.
Pt. 3
Within an hour the boy took care of everything. Now looking in the water from the highest point on the bridge, he was ready to let go.
With a small wistful smile, the boy jumped.
Nobody was none the wiser about what was lost during the red sunset that colored their skies and the sudden quiet that enveloped the constantly buzzing place that is New York.
Pt. 4
Waking up certainly feels like shit.
That was the first thought of Tony Stark, most famously known as Iron Man, the savior of the world when he opened his eyes to the bright eyes of the medical.
“Fri lower the lights, 40%” said he with a hoarse voice
This proved to start a chain reaction during which the nurses were notified of his waking and Pepper ran into the room with tears in her eyes, but a smile on her face.
This of course leads to every Avenger coming down to see him and wish him fast recovery. After so many struggles, the man finally felt at peace with the knowledge that everyone was safe and back home.
If only it lasted much longer than it was.
Within a week, due to the developments of medical technology, the man was moved to the penthouse where he finally felt at home and was completely mending his relationship with everyone around him. It was during the breakfast of his second day back, everyone including his lovely daughter, that he asked the vital question:
“Hey why haven’t I seen Peter? We have to call him over for the day, maybe have a movie night like before?”
The Avengers nodded excitedly, they knew of Peter and made acquaintance with the young man during and after the battle. Even if the encounter was brief, they could see that the young man has a great mind and a bright future.
“We haven’t heard from him since I believe Happy drove him home” said Pepper and looked at the man in question.
“Yeah, he texted me a couple of days ago but I was so busy with everything in the SI I couldn’t reply. Let me call him and see what’s up, he mentioned talking about something important.” said Happy and took out his phone to call Peter
The automated voice asking to leave a message was heard a couple of second later, frowning at the phone the man tried again and got the same response.
“That’s weird, the kid is not answering. Tony, you wanna try? I’m sure he’d always answer your call.”
“Fri, he a dear and call Underoos please” said the man
“Calling Mr. Parker right now”
The silence that stretched after her response was beginning to get more tension around the edges.
“Boss, it appears that Mr. Parker is unavailable, I detect that his phone is out of battery at this time.”
“Hmm, that’s weird, maybe he forgot to charge it last night.” said Tony and decided it’s better to contact his Aunt. Peter is definitely not at school yet, everything has been cancelled for a couple of weeks after the snap.
“Ok then, call May Parker”
“I’m sorry boss but the phone number for May Parker has not been active for about four and a half years”
Everything quieted.
Tony paled and Happy was not too far to follow.
“Happy, did you drop Peter at his Aunts?” The angry edge to his voice was definitely heard by everyone.
Pepper quickly took Morgan from her chair and left the room with a hurried step.
“I did boss, I saw him go in.”
“You better find my kid because I don't know what I will do if he’s not here by the end of the day.” Tony said and began to track the CCTV footage from the last few weeks.
“Tony we want to help as well,” said Cap “We'll divide and go through the area where he lives, there has to be a trace of him there for sure. Don’t worry we will find him.”
As soon as he said these words, everyone got up and started on their new mission: find Peter Parker.
Pt. 5
It didn’t take long for Tony to figure out that May Parker had died due to a raid in Queens apartment complex a little less than a year after the snap. When the blame and the darker thoughts started to fill his head, Pepper came back and whispered encouragement and hope for a better future into his ear. While they didn’t help as much, the blame became more bearable.
Everyone decided to meet back at the tower at 7pm to check in on their search for Peter. Sitting together in the living room, everyone explained their difficulty to locate or even pinpoint where Peter may be.
Natasha did mention that the guy that lives in the Parkers apartment has met Peter, but after the news of his Aunt, the boy simply ran off and disappeared.
This information did not lift anyone's feelings. If anything, they were becoming more desperate.
“Friday, when was the last time Peter put on the suit and did you have any contact with Karen?” asked Tony with a tired sigh
“Mr. Parker accessed the suit about 32 hours ago, I am not able to com-m-” the static that came from the ceiling made everyone subconsciously lift their eyes upwards and then back to Tony.
“Bo-ss there se-ems to be-” before she could finish her report, the TV in the middle of the dimly lit room came on.
Everyone held their breath as the image of Peter came on. It did not come unnoticed that the boy looked smaller than before, his eyes being red with large black bags that indicated exhaustion and lack of sleep. The young man was wearing the spiderman suit without the face mask and looked as if he was in an abandoned apartment building.
Slowly Peter sat down on the floor and gave the camera, which was part of the mask, a tentative smile.
“Tony what is-” before Clint could finish his question Peter spoke
“Hi everyone… well, I can assume it would be everyone but I can’t be sure anymore. In that case, hi Mr. Stark.”
The silence in the room was suffocating with each individual trying to figure out what the boy would say next.
“I am assuming that it has been about 30 or so hours since IT happened. It really came as a surprise how easy it was to hack Friday and allow for this message to play after a certain period of time. But that’s not important.
I am making this video to tell you what I couldn’t in person and after which I ask you forget, forget who I am. Who I was. Forget that I existed at all.
Now, I know you probably have a lot of questions. Some I will never be able to answer, while others I will address right now.
First of all, thank you for everything you did. All of you, Avengers, this large group of individuals who are unique in their own ways made my life a little easier than it was. Mr. Stark, the day you came into my apartment that was the day I started believing and trusting you even more. And I wasn’t wrong was I? You saved the World!!
Though.
I wish I wouldn’t have come back.
If you’re up to date by now, you know that May is dead.
I would say that this is where my loneliness began, but it started when I came back from the snap without noticing it.
Either way, please please do me a favor. The first and last thing I am asking of you, keep being yourself. Keep saving the world. Everyone of you is extraordinary even if you sometimes think otherwise. These past days… or is it more than that? Well, I realized you can do it without the involvement of Spiderman. Forget forget and forget like I am doing.
Last, I don’t want you looking for me because finding me might lead to more nightmare you don’t want. Sometimes I want to just go to the tower and tell you everything, but I want to go back to being gone and finally finding peace is greater than that.
Not that it matters, but if the appropriate time has passed, there will be no going back for me.
…
Goodness these tears can’t stop even for a day could they?
As this message will finish, everything that we have been doing together, all images, clips, projects etc. etc. that I took involvement in will be erased without going back.
Like I said before, please forget.
It has been a pleasure working with you, but all good things must come to an end.
So, this is it.
Farewell.”
___________________________________________________________________________
The screams of Tony Stark as he cried for what was lost and the silent tears of everyone else in the room could not be heard by anyone but themselves.
The search for Peter Parker was over.