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“I just don’t understand why I’m not allowed to go.” They’ve been arguing for about an hour or so at this point. It’s almost twelve at night, and everyone involved is exhausted.
“Tommy, we’ve told you so many times. We do not want you going out without one of us present! Who knows what could happen!” Phil argues back, looking at Tommy worriedly. The kid would surely blow up soon, there’s no way he wouldn’t.
“Sam is going to be there!” Tommy yells, starting to get frustrated. He just wants to hang out with his fucking friends, how hard is that?
“I know that, Tommy. We just would prefer it if one of us was with you.”
“Why can’t I just fucking hang out with my friends for once without one of you there!?” Tommy wasn’t seeming to understand. And that was okay with Phil. It was okay to Wilbur and Techno, who were in the corner of the room.
“Tommy, you are famous. Who knows what could happen if-”
“I DON’T FUCKING CARE! JUST LET ME FUCKING GO OUT!”
Phil sighs, this is going to be a long night, “We can’t let you do that, Tom. Not without one of us with you.”
“You can’t fucking control me, you aren’t my fucking dad, ” Tommy spits, vexation coating his words as he glares at Phil with all the anger he can muster.
“I know that. But I was put in charge of you. I call the shots when it comes to you, and I say you cannot go out without one of us,” Phil says sternly.
“There will be other adults there! Sam! Foolish! They are strong enough to protect me!”
“It’s not about that, hun. It’s about us knowing you are safe,” Wilbur decided to speak up softly in an attempt to calm the angry teenager. He’s calmed Tommy down before, surely he can do it again.
He walks across the room and rests a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. Bad move.
Tommy snarls and slaps Wilbur’s hand away, jerking away from him. “You aren’t fucking apart of this conversation, Wilbur.”
Wilbur raises his eyebrows at the rudeness. “Do not speak to me like that, Tommy. We’re just looking out for you,” he tries again again, taking a more stern approach.
“No! I should be allowed to fucking go out, I don’t care if it’s what you think is best or not! I am going to go out and that’s fucking final!” Tommy shouts, and pushes his way past Wilbur towards the front door.
Unfortunately, Techno slides in front of Tommy just as he’s close. His arms are crossed, and he’s so clearly unimpressed.
“Where are ya goin’, Tommy?”
Tommy bristles, “Fucking out , dickhead. Get out of the fucking way.”
“Not doing that, sorry.”
“Yes, fucking move.”
“No, not gonna.”
Tommy’s had enough, and it’s obvious if you take just one look at his face. He stays silent for a few moments. “You gonna talk to us like mature big boys, or?” Techno draws out the ‘or’, and his voice stays monotone.
“Fuck you, man. Fuck you,” Tommy lunges forward and pushes Techno to the side with all the strength he can muster. Techno stumbles and falls into the end table that sits right next to the couch. Tommy quickly unlocks the door, swings it open, and storms out.
Phil rushes out, “Tommy Simons, get your ass back here right now!”
“Fuck you!” Tommy yells back, already halfway down the street with how quickly he’s running. Phil looks like he’s about to go after him, even without shoes, but Wilbur holds him back.
“Let him cool off, it’s quite late at night and I doubt anyone is out right now,” he advised, having some sort of nostalgic look in his eyes.
“But-”
“He’ll be fine, Phil. He just needs a second to cool off, he’ll be back soon. I know it.”
“Alright then, if you say so.”
The two walk back into the house to see Techno writhing on the couch.
“The brat pushed me into the edge of the table!” he groans out, clutching at his back as he rolls around. That gets a few laughs out of Phil and Wilbur as they sit down on the comfy couch.
“Did you know that Tommy ran away from our dorm once, when we were trainees?” Wilbur asked, seemingly deep in thought.
“Excuse me?”
“Heh!?”
---
Tommy ends up at this park about 5 blocks away from his house. The night is a chilly one, but he quite likes it. The air smells of campfires and burning wood, the best smell in his opinion. The park is, well, empty.
He likes it that way, he’s able to walk around freely and without the boys breathing down his neck. He loves them, he really does! But sometimes they can get a little overprotective. The lights illuminate the pathways and he hears frogs making little sounds near the pond.
Tommy spots the playground from afar, and thinks ‘ fuck it’ and starts sprinting over to it. The cold wind nips at his skin and creates a burning sensation in his lungs, but it feels good, does it not? At that moment, he feels like a kid. No large following, no expectations, no stress. Just a carefree, normal teenager.
Laughter bubbles up in his chest and he lets it free, he lets it all free. The tears, the laughter, the sobs, everything. The field he needs to run through is covered in flowers in overgrown grass, and so obviously needs to get trimmed. But right now, he doesn’t care. He collapses to his knees with sobs racking his body, and all the pent up rage and sadness and loneliness just escapes.
His back hits the ground and he screams . He screams with all his might and lets the world know how it’s hurt him. From the complete warzone that was his family to the non-stop flashing of lights. From the friends he’s lost to the ones who didn’t have the best intentions. From crying out on the curb when he was just a little boy to now, crying in a flower field with no one in sight.
The fight with his friends- family may have been the catalyst. But all of his emotions were bound to come out eventually. So, he screams. He thrashes. He kicks and punches at the air. He hits the ground with his fists. He curls up as his sobs turn to whimpers.
Tommy wishes his family was here. He wishes Phil was here to rub his back gently and whisper affirmations. He wishes Wil was here to push his hair out of his face and give him kisses on his forehead. He wishes Techno was here so they could sit back-to-back and allow him to vent quietly. He wants and he wishes and he just can’t have any of it.
Because he chose to be alone. He could’ve stayed home and calmed down, he really could’ve. He could’ve talked it out with the rest of the boys. He could’ve gone up to his room to cool off and apologize. But he didn’t, and now they’re mad at him. They may hate him, he doesn’t know.
He really doesn’t want to overthink it right now. His head is pounding, and his throat burns. All Tommy wants is to lay in a warm bed and curl up with some movies and popcorn. But going home is the last thing he wants to do. Whether it’s from memories from his childhood or just general dread of coming home after an argument is unknown.
He isn’t too sure about a lot.
Mindlessly, he puts a hand in his pocket and pulls out his phone. Silently, he types in his password and goes to his contacts. He pulls up Tubbo’s contact and hits ‘ call’, not noticing it’s in fact 1:30 in the morning.
It rings, the noise echoes throughout the field. Wind flows through the trees and through his hair, almost like a silent comfort.
Tubbo picks up the phone, voice chipper, like usual, “What’s up bossman?” Tommy hasn’t got the energy to ask why Tubbo sounds so hyper at 1 in the morning.
“Tubbo,” he whispers out, loud enough to be heard.
“Tommy,” Tubbo answers, in the same tone and volume.
“I-” he hesitates, not really wanting to bother Tubbo at all, “I- can I stay over at yours? Just for tonight.”
“Of course, man! You’re always welcome here! You know that! Want me to alert the others?” Tubbo asked. He, just like Tommy, lives with his members.
Tommy considers it, and thinks about all the other times he’s come in the middle of the night. Puffy always made him tea or hot chocolate. Schlatt always hands him blankets and sweaters. Dream always made him snacks, like fruit or simple store-bought pastries or sweets.
“Go ahead, big man.”
“Alright, you need someone to pick you up?”
“No, I can walk. I’m already somewhat close.”
“Okay! See you when you get here!”
“See you, bye Tubbo.”
“Bye Tommy!” Tubbo says, before hanging up the phone.
Tommy stares at his phone for a good minute or two, before grunting and getting up. He wipes away any dirt or grass that might’ve gotten on him before making his way out of the field and starts walking. Not before looking back at the playground, deciding that it would be best to have fun when he was in the mood.
Walking out of the park and in the direction of Tubbo’s house was just like in the park. Quiet and lovely.
Somewhere along the way, he hears distant echoes of voices. Laughing and talking freely. Turning his head, he sees what looks to be a group of teenagers. They’re sitting on a bench that’s clearly made for three, but somehow the six make it work. They’re talking about homework, classes, people they find annoying, and just joking around.
They’re well dressed for this weather, unlike Tommy, who’s just wearing an oversized hoodie and some shorts with some red and white converse.
Envy plants itself in Tommy’s stomach and sends vines spreading throughout his entire being. And he hates it. It’s such an ugly feeling. But it simply cannot be helped.
So, he walks on. He bites his lip to ward off the tears building up in his eyes. He does online school at the moment, unable to keep up and continue on with physical, public schooling. Though it seems he cannot even keep up with online, as he hasn’t been online in a while. He tries to go on and complete assignments when he can, but he’s simply too busy. And on Sundays, he tries to dedicate a heavy chunk of the day working on assignments but it’s unrealistic. It really is.
His teachers are aware, and give sympathy. They understand and grade his performance on tests and tests only, which he is grateful for.
Tommy shakes his head, he isn’t in the mood to worry about school right now. It doesn’t mean the worry isn’t still there, but he tries to think about other things.
That just seems to turn into thinking about nothing. His mind is quiet and calm and he finds himself spacing out. And in a blink, he’s in front of Tubbo’s door.
It’s strange, just a second ago he was a couple of blocks away from Tubbo’s home. As long as he’s here, huh?
Lifting his hand, he knocks three times. There’s quiet for a moment, and Tommy worries he’s got the wrong house, before the door opens and Tubbo’s little head pops up from behind it.
“Tommy!” He exclaims, before getting a good look at his best friend, “Tommy,” he says again, less excited, more worried.
Tubbo reaches out a hand to him, which Tommy takes and allows to be led inside. Tubbo leads him throughout the house and up the stairs to his bedroom. Opening the door, he just about flings Tommy’s arm into the room, signalling for the other boy to get in. Tommy walks in and Tubbo shuts the door and sits on the bed, patting next to him.
Tommy sits down next to him and raises his eyebrows as Tubbo’s feet start to rub on his shoes. He looks over in confusion, and a bit of amusement, at Tubbo’s focused face. His eyebrows are scrunched together and he’s just about glaring at Tommy’s beloved shoes.
“What are you?-”
“Taking off your shoes!” he pouts out. Tommy huffs out a laugh and bends over, untying the laces and throwing them off his feet and successfully getting them to the other side of the room. “I was going to get it!”
Tommy deflates into chuckles as Tubbo frowns and squints his eyes at his friend. So, he lunges and hooks his arms around Tommy’s neck and pushes his body forward, both of them falling to the ground in a fit of giggles and cackles.
Tommy smiles mischievously and goes to push Tubbo off of him, and gets stopped by his shorter friend, stopping his hands with his own. They struggle like magnet meeting magnet for a moment, before Tommy throws Tubbo to the side and starts kicking at the boy with vigor.
They end up in a sorta wrestling-sorta bicycling match until someone knocks on Tubbo’s door. Though, they don’t hear it until someone straight up opens the door.
Puffy stands in the doorway with two steaming mugs. Her eyes have bags under them and her eyes are tired, she probably only woke up recently. She smiles at the two boys, with a singular eyebrow quirked up.
“You boys having an action sequence?” She laughs out.
Tommy smiles up at her and looks at the mugs curiously, Tubbo following suit. Puffy sets the mugs down on Tubbo’s nightstand, her smile never leaving her face.
“I made you boys some tea. Tubbo, I made you peppermint. And Tommy, I know you like lemon tea, but I’m not sure how much sugar and honey you wanted so I only put two sugar cubes in and a teaspoon of honey,” Puffy explains, watching as Tubbo lights up in excitement and as Tommy does the same.
“I don’t mind how much sugar or honey, but I usually put a lot in there,” Tommy confesses sheepishly.
“Well, I’m glad I made you actual tea and not just sugar and leaf water,” Puffy jokes. Tommy has heard the words, ‘you want some tea with that sugar?’ from so many people and he’s so sick of it.
“I’m gonna go back to bed, you two. Dream and Schlatt are already dead asleep. Both of you should go to bed soon, it’s almost 2 in the morning!” Puffy said softly, beginning to walk out before stopping and turning around, “Tommy, does Phil know you’re here?” she asks.
That makes Tommy tense. No, he doesn’t. He hesitates, “Yes, he does.” Puffy smiles at that, and flips her braided hair behind her. “Alrighty! Goodnight boys, may I wish you the best of dreams.”
“Goodnight Puffy!”
“Night Pussy-”
“Tommy!” Puffy scolds jokingly, before closing the door behind her and going back to her room. At that, Tubbo turns to Tommy.
“You lied, didn’t you?”
“Hm?”
“You lied to Puffy. About Phil knowing you’re here,” Tubbo said casually, going up to the bed and grabbing his mug and taking a sip. Tommy frowns and sits next to Tubbo, taking the mug from his friend’s hand.
“I mean- yeah.” The way this conversation is heading is worrying Tommy. Tubbo usually never asks questions when Tommy comes over in the middle of the night. Tommy’s seen his face in Tubbo’s mirror. Eyes red and puffy, small mascara marks running down his face, hair all disheveled. He understands why Tubbo might ask questions this time, though this time is a bit different. Obviously.
“What happened, big man?” Tubbo asked quietly, looking only at the wall. Tommy sighed and bit the inside of his cheek.
“We- we got into an argument,” he bit his lip and fidgeted with his hands. Tubbo hums and takes another sip.
“Wanna talk about it?”
“I mean- it was an argument, innit? They just. They're-” Tommy struggles to get his words out, and Tubbo pats his back comfortingly, “I know that they just want to protect me. I know that, and I’m happy about that. Really! But it feels a bit much sometimes. And it gets a little hard to breathe sometimes when they’re all breathing down my neck, yeah?”
“I get it, I get it,” Tubbo nods in understanding, motioning for Tommy to continue.
“Quackity invited me to hang out with him and a couple of his friends. And I wanted to go by myself and they just wouldn’t let me! And-and I was- am really frustrated, because they wanted to be there ‘ just in case’. But Sam was going to be there! And Foolish! Sapnap, you know, people who could help in ‘ just in case’ situations? But they just weren’t getting it! And I told them that, and they just said they wanted to know I was safe or whatever! Like phones aren’t a thing! It’s so annoying!” Tommy rants, making sure to hold his mug firmly as he plants himself down on Tubbo’s large bed.
Tubbo is paying full attention at this point, and looking straight at him with his knees tucked into his chest. One hand is holding his mug and another is rubbing up and down Tommy’s calf absentmindedly.
“I understand why they’re like this. But I just want some fucking space! I’m around them almost 24/7, sometimes I want to hang out with people that aren’t them! They’re just- just,” Tommy cuts himself off in frustration at not being able to find the correct word he wants to use. Tubbo saves him by cutting in, “Overprotective?”
“Yeah! That! They’re overprotective as fuck! It’d be nice if it wasn’t constantly! Why can’t I just have fun? You know, like a year and a half ago, they’d do anything to be away from me! They hated me! I bet they would’ve encouraged someone to kidnap me if they could! I just don’t understand!” At some point, Tubbo took away Tommy’s mug and put it on the nightstand. Tommy’s hands were flying around and making gestures while Tubbo was just listening.
“So I finally just ran out of the house and I ended up at the park, that’s when I called you,” Tommy left out some parts of the story. Like his breakdown, but he feels like it’s already quite telling that he had one.
Tubbo hummed and set his mug down on the nightstand as well. He then motioned for Tommy to get into bed and waited until his taller friend was situated under the covers before he himself got in.
“Anything else you gotta get off your chest?” Tubbo questions as he turns off the lamp, and gently pulls at his string lights to unplug them, plummeting the room into darkness. He then plugs in a cool little light that shines colorful lights on his ceiling and dimly lights up the room. He chose purple for tonight.
“No, I’m done bothering you,” Tommy mutters. Tubbo lightly punches him on the arm at that.
“You aren’t bothering me. I’d prefer you talk to me about this stuff then just keep it in.”
Tommy shrugs in response and the two are quiet. Only for a second, though. Silence never has really been a thing in their friendship.
“Wanna call Ranboo for a goodnight?” Tubbo suggests, already getting out his phone.
“Sure, man.”
Tubbo swipes a few times on his phone before the facetime ringing is heard and he holds it out. “Oh shit it’s like 3, he may night ans-”
“What do you want?” Ranboo asks, picking up quickly.
“Ranboo!” Tommy calls out.
“Tommy! What’s up man?”
“Why don’t I get a nice greeting?” Tubbo asks, a playful pout lining his words.
“Because I don’t wanna give you one,” Ranboo says, ignoring Tubbo’s angry splutters, “What do you two need?”
“Tubs wanted to say goodnight,” at that, Tubbo swatted Tommy on the head gently. Ranboo ‘aww’s and the two boys smile.
“Well I hope you two have a goodnight and sleep well. Maybe we can set up a sleepover soon? I miss you,” Ranboo murmurs out the last part but they all heard it.
“Of course! Whenever you’re done with your work stuff we can do it,” Tommy says, already quite excited to have another sleepover.
“I’ll be done soon. I’ll be done with everything like this upcoming Saturday.” By ‘everything’, Ranboo means promotions. Shows of all kinds, festivals, concerts, so much shit.
“But that’s like a week!” Tubbo complained. Ranboo shrugged, “I wanna actually get some sleep, tomorrow is full of just photoshoots and the last day of music video shooting so I gotta catch some Z’s.”
“Alright, night Ranboo!”
“Night, Ranboob!”
“Don’t call me that! And goodnight!”
The call ends there and all three boys are left with smiles on their faces and warmth spreading throughout their hearts.
“Sleep?”
“Sleep.”
---
Techno woke up to yelling voices. He groaned as he sat up, a bruise sat on his back from when Tommy shoved him into the table last night. Though, he doesn’t blame the kid all that much. If Techno was in his shoes, he’d probably snap too.
He gets out of his comfortable bed and waves at his two dogs, Melodia and Orion. The two jumped at his feet and he snarked out for them to stop once he got frustrated enough. Opening the door, he let them out first before he himself got out.
He leans on the indoor balcony and listens in on Phil and Wilbur’s conversation.
“He isn’t in his room, he isn’t picking up his phone, he didn’t come home last night, where the fuck did he go!?” Wilbur worriedly yelled, clutching at his hair.
“I don’t know, but freaking out will not help this situation at all. How about we call around, hm? His friends live nearby, maybe he went to them?”
“He would’ve texted us!”
Techno tunes out the rest of the conversation as he frowns, worry builds up in his stomach. Techno assumed Tommy would eventually come home, or that he’d come home when they were all asleep. But not coming home at all?
He grumbles, and turns back into his room and closes the door behind him. He jumped on his bed and looked through his contacts, finding Dream’s and clicking on it, calling the man.
After a couple of rings, he picks up. “Hello?”
“Hey, uh, Dream. Did Tommy ever come by your house last night?”
“Oh yeah he did! I was asleep when he came by but I know Tubbo texted me about it. He’s in the kitchen eating breakfast right now, why?”
“Because he just disappeared last night,” Techno said, relieved that the kid was just at a friend's house and not tied up in someone's basement for a ransom of $457,089.
“Wait, did he not tell you he was here?”
“No? Did he say otherwise?” Huh, weird.
“He said Phil knew-”
“Phil definitely did not know.”
“Why did he even leave? Tubbo texted me that Tommy was here at like 2 AM?”
2 AM? If Techno’s memory served him right, Tommy left at around midnight, maybe a little while before. Getting to Tubbo’s only took like 30 minutes on foot. Strange.
“Well we kind of got into a fight, the kid stormed out after pushin’ me into a fuckin’ table,” Okay, Techno was a little salty. Just a little.
Dream laughed from over the phone, and Techno promptly hung up. He got up and opened up his door.
“You fools can stop worryin’ now! Tommy’s at Tubbo’s!”
“How do you know?” Wilbur yelled.
“Dream said he’s in their kitchen eatin’ their food!”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh. ”
---
Tommy was driven home by Tubbo, which he did not enjoy one bit. Half because of the dread and half because Tubbo just drove like a fuckin’ maniac.
Once they pulled into his driveway is when he started actually wanting to hide in a hole. Tubbo gave him a quick hug and he hugged back.
“Bye man! Good luck!”
“Bye, Tubs!”
As Tubbo drove away, he so badly wanted to hop back in his car. But he couldn’t. Because he had to be a ‘big boy’.
Tommy grabbed his keys and went up on the porch and in front of his door. He hesitated, and gulped in fear. Before twisting the keys and opening the door. He steps in, takes his keys out of the door, closes it behind him and locks it before going into the living room.
On the couch were Techno, Wilbur and Phil. Wilbur immediately got up and went up to him. He engulfed him in a tight hug almost immediately.
“Oh my fucking god. Tommy don’t ever fucking do that ever again, I was so worried!” his voice is muffled as he shoves his face in Tommy’s blond hair. Tommy, in return, snuggles into his chest.
Techno is right beside them, trying to pull them away from each other so he can look Tommy over for any injuries, but the two are just not having it at all. Phil stood right next to Tommy, rubbing his back gently and calmly.
“I’m- I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have ran out, I should’ve told you-”
“Ah, mate, I think I should be the one apologizing. I shouldn’t have made you feel cornered, and I’m sorry for that. I know you grew up just like me, and I know how you are with arguing. I’m sorry mate,” Phil apologizes sincerely.
“I’m sorry for using your real name in the argument, I know you hate that,” Wilbur says quietly.
“I’m sorry for running out. I’m sorry for worrying you. I should've just talked with you guys, I’m sorry.”
Phil hugs Tommy tightly, and the teen is sandwiched between Wilbur and Phil.
“I’m not apologizing for shit- you pushed me into a goddamn table and gave me a huge bruise-”
“Holy shit I’m so sorry Techno I didn’t realize I pushed you that hard!”
“Not forgiving, so rude. Not even a one star rating. I prefer the fight we had in our trainee dorms.”
“I pushed you into the closet, I broke the fucking closet doing that!”
“Yeah but it was better. Plus, I got to slap you.”
“Let’s not talk about this-” Wilbur cut in. He hates talking about their time as trainees. It makes sense, he was kind of a dickhead.
“Also, why is there like a two hour gap between you leaving and you arriving at Tubbo’s house?” Techno asks once everything goes quiet for a moment.
“No.”
“Tommy-”
“No.”
---
Later on, Tommy sat down with all of them and talked about how he felt with them being overprotective. They all just talked. And listed reasons for why they acted how they did last night and came up with better ways to deal with this problem in the future. Tommy is now allowed to go with Quackity, by the way. All he has to do is text in the groupchat at least every two hours or so.
But why do we have to worry about later on right now? Right now is right now. Later is later. Right now, they’re laughing and joking around with each other.
That’s really all one could ask for, huh?