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“Okay, emergency contact numbers are on the fridge, you have mine and… what else?” Remus paced the tiny kitchen. “Oh right, he’s got footie at seven on Thursday and a match at noon tomorrow but that’s all on the fridge too- do not forget about it”
“I won’t, I promise” Sirius responded with a laugh. “Really, you don’t have to worry”
“I know it’s just-“ Remus shook his head. “Thank you for doing this, I’d normally pawn him off to Lily and James but Harry’s got chicken pox so their hands are full and Pete’s away on a business trip, I can’t even bring him with me either because well, it’s open casket and I don’t want to freak him out”
“It’s alright, I’m happy to spend some time one on one with him” Sirius shrugged. “I mean, we’ve been dating for a while and… I don’t know, maybe I’ll be around like this for good and this way he can get used to me”
Remus nodded. “Right but don’t take it to heart if he doesn’t like you straight off, he’s at that age, y’know” he said, checking his watch. “Okay, I have to go now- back this day week if I’m lucky and my family don’t kill me” he grinned, kissing Sirius on the cheek and making his way into the hall.
Sirius heard him knock on Teddy’s bedroom door. “I’m off Ted, I know it’s Saturday but try to be up before noon and remember you’ve got that match tomorrow, I’m sorry I can’t make it kid”
There’s a silence that followed, then the sound of a door creaking open and Sirius couldn’t hear anything else. Five or so minutes later, Remus emerged followed by his son, a carbon copy of the lanky man. Remus kisses the top of his head, wishes Sirius good luck and leaves.
A week, give or take. They’d been dating for just over a year and Teddy still hasn’t warmed up to him. Normally this wouldn’t bother Sirius but he had an unhealthy need to be liked by everyone he came across. This was easy, most of the time. It seemed that only Teddy was immune to Sirius’ charms. Teddy was 11 and a lot smarter than you’d expect an 11-year-old to be. Sirius supposed that’s what came from living on a council estate in Manchester. Being related to Remus probably had a lot to do with it too, the man was a secondary school teacher but definitely overqualified for the job.
“Just just kiddo, eh?” Sirius tried.
The look Teddy gave him could’ve killed. “Piss off”
“Someone’s grumpy” Sirius mumbled, turning to the counter to get started on breakfast.
Teddy pushed past him. “Just stay out of my way and I’ll stay out of yours” he said, reaching for the cereal. “And don’t bother coming tomorrow, my mate’s dad said he’d give me a lift”
“I promised your dad I’d go” Sirius argued, settling with his back against the counter watching the boy. “I intend to keep that promise”
“And I don’t care” Teddy responded and brought his breakfast items on the small round table. “I don’t need you to babysit me, I’ve been on my own before”
Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Tell me you’re joking”
Teddy shook his head. “And I’m not telling you how either, you’d only go and grass to dad”
Great, thought Sirius and sighed. Teddy was being moody and that was the last thing he needed. He watched him eating breakfast for a moment before sticking on the kettle and turning to his own devices instead. Sirius had nothing to do, he had taken the weekend off specifically for this and Teddy seemed to dislike him a lot. He got dressed and left the house quicker than Sirius could even ask where he was going.
Teddy didn’t come home till dinner time. Sirius had thought maybe a takeaway would cheer him up, or at least win him some points.
“I was thinking Chinese but we can stroll down to the chippy if you fancy” Sirius suggested when Teddy entered the room. He was sitting on the couch, a rerun of some show playing in the background while he absentmindedly scrolled through his phone.
“I already ate” Teddy responded, beelining for his room.
“Hey no, Ted! Wait” Sirius called after him.
The desperation in his voice must’ve been obvious because Teddy stopped by the stairs. He came to the doorway of the sitting room. “What?”
“How come you didn’t tell me you wouldn’t be home for dinner?” he asked. “I waited for you”
Teddy shrugged. “Never asked you to”
“I know you didn’t but that’s not the point” Sirius said, beginning to get cross.
“Look, you’re not my mum, you’re not my dad so don’t expect us to play happy family for the next week because it’s not going to happen” Teddy spat venomously. “You’re just some bloke shagging my dad”
Sirius was too stunned to say anything and Teddy took this as his cue to leave. What was he supposed to say to that? He had asked James to give him tips on raising kids when he first started dating Remus, he was in it for the long haul but it definitely didn’t prepare him for this. He got a chipper and smoked half a packet of cigarettes that night. Then, he called Remus.
“He hates me”
“He doesn't hate you love” Remus sighed. He was tired, Sirius could tell from his voice. “He’s just… having a hard time adjusting, do you want me to speak to him?”
Sirius shook his head even though Remus couldn’t possibly see him over the phone. “No, I don’t want him knowing I’m bitching to you about this, I need to get him to at least tolerate me on my own”
“He’ll come around eventually” Remus offered. “Bit hard since his mum’s done a runner”
“I guess you’re right” Sirius mumbled.
Remus chuckles lightly. “When am I not?” he teased, clearly pleased with himself.
“How’s the funeral prep?” Sirius asked, changing the topic and almost immediately regretting it.
“It’s on Monday” Remus sighed. “Then we’re spending the week clearing out the old witch’s house”
Sirius laughed. “You can’t call your grandmother’s sister a witch”
“She was horrible though” Remus chuckled again, amused. “And she even had warts like proper witches do and she never married or anything”
“Some warts and not getting married doesn’t make her a witch” Sirius responded, his mood lifted by a lot.
“She had a black cat”
“Oh sorry you’re right”
“Oh piss off” Remus said, Sirius could imagine Remus rolling his eyes. “Anyway, I’m knackered so don’t forget the match tomorrow, he knows where his gear is, just make sure to throw it in the wash right aft’ else it mightn’t dry in time”
“I won’t forget” Sirius responded. “Promise”
“Good night love” Remus said around a yawn. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, yeah?”
“Yeah” Sirius agreed. “Tomorrow”
Sirius hung up the phone, showered and made himself and Teddy a cup of tea each. On his way to bed, he stopped by Teddy’s bedroom. He hesitated for a moment before knocking. “You in kid?”
“Don’t call me kid” Teddy’s response was cold, he was playing some sort of video game connected to his telly.
Sirius sighed. “I made you a cup” he came into the room and placed it on the cluttered desk. “It’s there if you want it, I’m heading into bed”
“You didn’t have to” Teddy glances over, at least this time his tone isn’t ice cold.
“I know” Sirius shrugged, heading to the door. “I wanted to though”
Teddy said nothing but Sirius counter this as a win, at least he wasn’t told to piss off.
The next day, Sirius knew he failed miserably before he even got out of the bed. The clock read 1pm. An hour late. He was an hour late to Teddy’s match. Luckily Teddy had said he had a lift and sure enough, when Sirius checked his bedroom, it was empty. His gear was gone too. It was half one by the time Sirius got to the pitch, he had missed most of the game. There was less than ten minutes left. Despite the short amount of time Sirius was there, he could see that Teddy was brilliant. He was quick and clever with how he moved and even managed to score the winning goal.
To Sirius’ credit, he tried to talk to Teddy after the match but the boy simply went the other way. He beat him home too. When Sirius got back, Teddy was sitting in his muddy gear with his hands crossed over his chest. “You broke the promise”
“Technically I didn’t” Sirius tried to argue but he knew it was a losing battle. “I was still there”
“You missed most of it” Teddy said hotly, it was moments like these that he resembled his father the most. The tight set of his jaw, eyebrows knit together and his stiff shoulders.
“I’m sorry, I messed up” Sirius sighed. How could he have already fucked up. It was just past lunch. “In all fairness you told me not to bother”
“You’re a prick” Teddy crossed his arms over his chest. “I hope dad dumps you” he stormed off upstairs.
Sirius stood there, listening to the retreating sound of footsteps and the sound of the shower turning on. How the fuck was he going to come back from this? It felt hopeless, so he did what he always did whenever something felt totally lost and hopeless; he called James.
“I don’t know what to do” Sirius whined, the phone pressed to his ear.
James sighed. “You’ve got to make it up to him now, you’ve let him down”
“Well I know that” Sirius moaned. “I know but I don’t know how”
“Why don’t you ask Remus?” James suggested. “Teddy’s his son after all, he’d know what to do”
Sirius groaned in frustration. “I can’t, I promised Remus I’d go watch the match for him and I don’t want him to know I’ve let him down”
“Right, okay okay okay okay” James sighed again. “Apologize, go out and buy him his favourite sweets or his favourite takeaway but make sure he knows you’re really sorry”
“Thanks James”
“Anytime mate”
Sirius had to think hard. How was he supposed to make it up to Teddy now? A cake? Chocolate? Maybe a trip to the cinema? Maybe a new video game? He walked upstairs, thoughts swirling in his head.
“Piss off” Teddy said, before Sirius could even knock on his door.
He pushed open the door. “I’m really sorry Teddy”
The boy barely looked up. He was curled up in the corner of his bed, he looked very small like this. Smaller than an 11-year-old ought to be. He seemed to have been crying. His footie gear was thrown onto the floor by his bed.
“Go away” He said, although there was no bite to it at all.
Sirius’ demeanor softened as he came further into the room. “I really am sorry”
“Dad’s never missed a game” Teddy sulked, sitting up now. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “Even when he was in hospital, he got someone to record them for him and you didn’t even bother being on time”
Sirius sat down at the end of the bed. “I know, I’ve fucked up and I’m sorry mate” he said, trying his best to sound as sincere as possible. “I’m not your dad though, he’s… he’s a remarkable man and I will never measure up to him no matter what but I can try but only if you promise to be a little less hostile”
Teddy seemed to consider this with great care. “I don’t trust you” he admitted. “I don’t trust you to not hurt my dad”
“I appreciate you looking out for him but he’s an adult Ted” Sirius reasoned. “He can take care of himself, besides I’d never do anything to harm your dad”
“I know he’s an adult” Teddy stiffened, defensive stance coming back. Jaw tightened, shoulders squared and tense. “That doesn’t mean he can’t be hurt”
Sirius felt whatever progress he had made was slowly wilting away. He had learned to pick his battles from an early age and knew when to surrender. “Okay, I hear you” he nodded. “Takeaway for dinner then?”
“Curry and cheese chip”
“Want to come with?”
Teddy shook his head. Just like that, Sirius felt he was somewhat in the clear. Teddy had at least admitted he didn’t trust him, he hadn’t said he didn’t like him. That was surely a start.
They didn’t eat dinner together, Teddy mumbled something about last monture homework and Sirius mumbled something about not staying up too late back. It wasn’t as much of a start as Sirius had hoped for but at least he wasn’t in the red anymore. He sure as hell wasn’t in the green either though, he was in a very unstable grey area with the risk of slipping back into red any second. After eating, he called Remus again.
“I have a feeling you’re enjoying this” Sirius said, only slightly annoyed. “It’s not funny”
Remus’ voice on the other end was light. “I’m not enjoying it, I do find it really funny though”
“Mean” Sirius grumbled.
“You're trying too hard to be liked” Remus sighed. “Kids can smell that kind of stuff from a mile away”
“Well I don’t know what else to do!” Sirius raised his voice without meaning to.
Sirius could imagine Remus frowning at the wall before he said, “Don’t be having a go”
“I’m sorry” Sirius sighed. “It’s just- I’m at my wits end, I don’t know what to do”
Remus was quite for a moment. “Maybe try a little less… you can be a lot and if you’re at him constantly- give him time to breathe”
“I’ve barely seen him though” Sirius moaned. “He keeps going round to his mate’s house”
“Do you want me to talk to him?” Remus asked.
Sirius considered this but decided against it. “No, he’ll think I’m a grass”
“Then the ball is in your court” Remus said simply. “Don’t overwhelm him by trying too hard and you’ll be okay”
Don’t try too hard. Sirius thought that was impossible, he would’ve pushed to try harder. How was pretending he didn’t care going to help? He felt it would be more counterproductive than anything else. That left him back in square one, the phone call didn’t help at all. James helped a tiny bit but other than that, it was all useless. Sirius would have to figure it out on his own and quick.
As quick as that morning would’ve been nice. Sirius was clever but he wasn’t that clever nor was he used to waking up for a school run. He graduated years ago and he didn’t have any kids until Teddy and even then, Remus was teaching at Teddy’s school.
All of this combined, meant he would have slept in if Teddy hadn't woken him up.
“I’m going to be late” Teddy said blatantly, he was already dressed. “If you’d told me you’d sleep in I would’ve just walked”
“I didn’t know I was going to sleep in” Sirius replied hotly, rushing past the boy and into the bathroom.
There was a knock on the door just as he closed it. “Ten minutes”
Ten minutes indeed. Soon enough the pair was in the car and Sirius was already planning on where he’d stopped for breakfast after dropping Teddy off.
“Your tie is crooked” he pointed out, glancing at Teddy. “Want me to fix it?”
“It’s not crooked, it’s fine” Teddy grumbled, not even turning his head from the window. “You can leave me off here, I don’t want to get picked on”
“Why would you get picked on?” Sirius asked, but turned to park. They were still at least five minutes away.
“You” Teddy replied simply and got out of the car. “I’ve no problem with you being gay but it’s a tad obvious” he said before closing the door and swinging his bag over his shoulder.
Sirius watched him walk away for a moment. His school uniform reminded Sirius of his own former years as a student, except that his uniform included a blazer and a boater hat and Teddy’s did not. Teddy’s school uniform was composed of grey trousers, a blue striped tie and a blue jumper that seemed to have gone missing on him since Sirius couldn’t really remember him wearing it recently but knew he must own one.
He let the rest of the day pass slowly, he went by Lily and James’ for a quick bite and to check in on his godson (the poor kid was covered head to toe with chicken pox). Before he knew it, he was back home and Teddy was coming in the door.
“How was school?” Sirius asked hopefully, he was desperate for something from the kid. Anything to show Remus he wasn’t completely useless at this whole thing.
Teddy shrugged. “Some kid got suspended for hitting a teacher so we missed double history” he said nonchalantly then dropped his bag onto the floor and beelined for the fridge.
“You’re joking” Sirius didn’t want to make assumptions but this was a public school. There were some things to be expected but he didn’t realise just how true these expectations would turn out to be.
“I’m not” Teddy shook his head. “I don’t think he meant to hit the teacher but she got in the way, of course you wouldn’t believe it” he took out a bottle of orange juice and poured himself a glass. “Dad says you went to posh private school”
“I did” Sirius couldn’t help but smile. Maybe he was getting somewhere. “I had to wear a blazer and one of those hats too”
“Bet you looked like a right knobhead” Teddy half smiled too, it reminded Sirius of the way Remus smiled; like he knew something that you didn’t and found the whole situation quite amusing.
He laughed. “We all looked like knobheads in secondary school- don’t give me that look, your dad probably did too”
Teddy frowned and Sirius felt as if he’d somehow fucked it all up again. “He wants us to get along”
“I want us to get along too” Sirius said simply, awaiting a reaction.
“I’ve thought about it” Teddy looked unsure. “I just- it’s always been me and dad”
Oh, something clicked in Sirius’ brain. “You’re afraid I’m going to leave, aren’t you? So you don’t want to like me because it’ll hurt less if you can say that you never did”
“Something like that” He mumbled, not meeting Sirius’ eye for the first time in Sirius’ memory.
“Listen kiddo” Sirius sighed. “I’m here to stay, I love your dad more than anything else in the world and I think you’re brilliant- bit of an attitude problem but hey you’re 11” -Teddy chuckled a little at that- “you’ll grow out of it” Sirius paused for a moment. “Here, I’ve got a box set of Classic Who and the sitting room has a dvd player, what do you say?”
Teddy seemed to think hard about this offer, Sirius knew it was one he couldn’t refuse even for someone as stubborn as Teddy. Eventually he nodded. “Alright, yeah”
They spent a while (Sirius lost track of time) in front of the telly that night. At some point Teddy went off to do homework then actually came back. A few hours later, Teddy was fast asleep with his head resting against Sirius’ arm. Sirius had never understood when people said they’d take a bullet for their kid but he was starting to get it now. There was something about the 11-year-old curled up against him. He was slowly starting to understand what Remus had said to him at the start, that no matter what Teddy was always going to come first.