Archive of Our Own

The clock in the office ticked loudly, making Jeongguk glance at it every so often. He couldn't help but fidget with his hands. Usually, he wasn't allowed into his father's office without him being present. Jeongguk might not be a little boy anymore, but he knew to respect his father's rules.

"So," he said looking at the stranger that his father had left him alone with. He had never seen the man before, but he was handsome, Jeongguk thought, unconventionally handsome. "You want me to work as a bookkeeper for your establishment?"

The man who had introduced himself as Kim Namjoon nodded, his hands folded in front of him. Jeongguk could tell that while his Hanbok didn't look dirty, it was certainly made of cheaper fabric than his own. "Your father told me you were very good with numbers."

"I see." Jeongguk couldn't help but bite the inside of his cheek to stop from cursing - or worse, crying. Jeongguk wasn't better with numbers than any of his older brothers. "What kind of establishment do you run? My father promised you a loan, didn't he?"

Kim Namjoon pulled a paper out and handed it to Jeongguk. "I like to call it a show of performing arts, but people usually refer to it as a circus. We've recently bought an empty theatre, but we're struggling to make ends meet. Your father agreed to become one of our sponsors if I can employ you and I would love some help with bookkeeping."

Pressing his lips together, Jeongguk let out a weak laugh. When Namjoon looked at him in confusion, he shook his head. "My father is trying to sell me off, Kim Namjoon-ssi. I don't think I would do your circus any good."

"With all due respect, but I believe working for me would earn you freedom," Namjoon said, looking Jeongguk right in the eyes. "We're not rich, but we're a family. I'm not trying to overstep any boundaries but judging from what I've heard, you could need one of those."

Jeongguk knew that he should be offended, that he should throw Namjoon out of their house for disrespecting his family. But he couldn't, not when he was right. Jeongguk might be living in a house with his blood relatives, but they were no family to him, not behind closed doors. He was the youngest son of four, so he had always kind of known that he wasn't his father's favourite child. Usually, he had spent time with his mother and sister, which of course, made him 'soft' in his father's eyes.

Things got worse though when his sister got pregnant. She had been in love with the son of a doctor, but he refused to marry her for a reason Jeongguk never got to know. She had their child out of wedlock, a disgrace for the entire family so their father had decided to keep her inside the house, hidden from the public. A year later she died of pneumonia.

Their parents had wanted to give Hyerim, her daughter, away and forget she even existed but Jeongguk- He had begged them to let him take care of her. He had been close to his sister, he had taken care of her when she was sick. He knew his sister would only truly rest in peace if her daughter was safe with him. Eventually, his father allowed him to take care of the child as long as it never inconvenienced him in any way.

It seemed he had had enough now, and wanted Jeongguk out of the house for good. There was no way his family or society would accept him after he joined a circus of all things.

"I have one condition," Jeongguk said slowly, already having accepted his fate. "I have a kid, she needs a place to sleep as well as something to do during the time I work."

Namjoon smiled and bowed his head slightly. "We can arrange that, Jeongguk-ssi, that's no problem. We have a few kids of our own in the building."

Jeongguk nodded and let out a long breath. "Alright."

As they walked through the staff entrance of the theatre, Hyerim's hand was holding tightly onto Jeongguk's. Namjoon had been waiting for them in front of the building and was already starting to talk their ears off about daily schedules, making Jeongguk’s head spin.

“We have a schedule for practices, during the day there’s almost always someone practising for performances on stage,” Namjoon explained as they walked towards a staircase behind the stage. “I know that’s not important to your job, but it is helpful to know. Our office is on the first floor. I'll show you your room first, though, so you can put down those bags.” He nodded to the two large bags Jeongguk was carrying.

Jeongguk couldn’t help but tighten his grip onto Hyerim’s hand as they walked up the wooden staircase. He had never lived anywhere but at his family’s home. Namjoon led them to a small room that only consisted of a small bed – barely big enough for the two of them – and a closet. With his lips pressed together, Jeongguk placed their bags on the bed. He didn’t want to come across as stuck-up, since he hated when his family showed off their power, but maybe he hadn’t really thought this through. He had thought that a life away from his family would be the best for Hyerim but now… he was a little terrified that he had made the worst decision of his life.

“I know it’s not much,” Namjoon said softly, having read the panic on the younger’s face. “We’re giving you our spare room because we thought you might want to be on your own for now. Eventually, it would be nice if you could share one of our larger rooms upstairs with someone else. No rush, though.”

“I- thank you.” Jeongguk swallowed the lump in his throat and forced himself to smile at the man, as he pulled Hyerim closer. Surprisingly, she seemed excited to be in a new place, had been ecstatic on their way over here after saying goodbye to their servants at home. He wished he was as optimistic as she was. “Thank you for taking us in, I know you’re doing it for my father’s money, but… I do appreciate it.”

Namjoon gave him a tight-lipped smile. “I know when people first come here, they’re not happy about it. A lot of times our circus is their last chance of finding happiness. So I hope that whatever you’re running from, you’ll find happiness with us.”

Tears pricked in Jeongguk’s eyes. He hoped so too. He just wanted to know Hyerim was safe and happy.

“Do you have puppies?” Hyerim asked when Jeongguk didn’t reply.

The circus manager let out a laugh. “We don’t but there are a few stray cats who like to visit us sometimes. I’m sure you’ll see them around.” Hyerim nodded and grinned excitedly up at Jeongguk. “Would you like me to introduce you to a few people or do you want to rest first?”

“I think we want to meet some people, right?” Jeongguk gently touched Hyerim’s braided hair. “We still have time to rest tonight.”

As they made their way to the shared living spaces, Namjoon explained their daily routines as well as he could. Everyone was encouraged (and obligated) to help in cleaning the house and cooking the meals. Since Jeongguk had never really helped at home, he was going to join someone else’s cleaning and cooking shift so they could guide him along in the first weeks. It was fascinating how this household seemed to work just like a well-oiled machine or at least from what Namjoon told them.

In the kitchen, they met Yoongi, who was currently helping a little girl cook. When he saw them, he smiled at them so brightly, Jeongguk almost didn’t want to believe him that he was a fire eater for their show. He had always thought that fire eaters were tough and maybe even aggressive people, but it seemed like he was going to learn a thing or two about stereotypes. The girl’s name was Myah and when she rushed over to greet Hyerim, they noticed that Myah’s left arm was… well, missing.

“During workdays, Jieun will look after the kids and homeschool them,” Namjoon said as they sat down in the living room. Two men were setting the tables, pressing kisses to each other’s faces to distract the other. Jeongguk tried not to stare at them. He had never seen a same sex couple in public, had only heard rumours behind closed doors, had heard whispers about sin and prison and death penalty. “She’s married to one of our musicians and when she was younger, she got the best education out of all of us. Plus the kids love her.”

Jeongguk pulled Hyerim into his lap, leaning his head onto hers. “Do you have a lot of kids living here?”

Namjoon shrugged. “A few yes. We’ve taken in a few orphans over the years, but they don’t always stay with us. We found Myah on the streets when she was a toddler, for example.”

As Namjoon dove into telling an anecdote of when Myah was still little, the two men who had been setting the table sat down next to them, adding their own comments to Namjoon's story. Afterwards, Jeongguk found out that their names were Hoseok and Seokjin and that they were Jeongguk's hyungs. Hoseok was actually the ringmaster of the circus and a childhood friend of Namjoon's, while Seokjin was their contortionist. After hearing that, Hyerim naturally begged Seokjin to show her just how flexible he was, and he happily indulged her.

Half an hour later, dinner was done and Jeongguk and Hyerim hovered next to the tables, unsure of where to sit. Yoongi sent them a smile as he set one of the pots onto the table. "You can sit wherever," he said softly. "Would you mind going downstairs to the stage and fetching Jimin and Taehyung first? They tend to miss dinners when they're too concentrated on practising."

"Of course," Jeongguk replied as he pulled out a chair for Hyerim. He gently squeezed her shoulder. "Save a seat for me, yeah?" When she nodded, he walked over to the staircase, making his way to the ground floor. Since the stairs were backstage, he didn't see what was happening on stage until he was right next to it.

Immediately he froze, his eyes wide. Two sets of long cloths - or were they scarves? - were hanging vertically onto the stage and two people were hanging on them, their legs tangled up in the cloth. One of them was a man who seemed to be tall and kind of lanky even though Jeongguk could clearly see his muscles under his shirt. The other... Jeongguk couldn't immediately tell whether it was a man or a woman. They were smaller than the man but somehow the way they moved along the cloth felt much more elegant. Jeongguk couldn't help but stare and watch them for a minute, only to jump in surprise when the man let go of the cloth and tumbled downwards - the cloth wrapped around his legs and hips saving him from imminent death.

He must've made some sort of sound since suddenly both of their attention was on him. "Dinner is ready," he rushed out when they looked at him questioningly. "Yoongi hyung wanted me to fetch you guys."

The acrobats effortlessly returned to the ground, before the smaller one walked up to him with a frown. "Who are you?" they asked in a low voice- he asked. Seeing him from up close, Jeongguk could tell he was a man by the way he furrowed his brows and looked at him. He just knew. "Are you the kid that rich guy sent to us?"

"I'm not a kid," Jeongguk replied, frowning himself now. "I'm 21."

"And I'm your hyung, don't you disrespect me," the other replied, before walking past him - not without knocking their shoulders together.

The taller man sent him an apologetic smile. "Excuse Jimin," he said quietly. "He doesn't do well with people who come from money. Not at first anyway. I'm Taehyung. What's your name?"

"Jeongguk."

And when Taehyung's face lit up, Jeongguk felt like he had met an angel.

There were a lot of reasons why Jeongguk had been so quick to agree to the deal Namjoon and his father had made, and why he had willingly let them sell him off. But two stood out the most.

One was Hyerim. The older she was getting - and she was six years old now - the more Jeongguk got scared that his father would simply send her away. He'd send her to a boarding school in the countryside and Jeongguk would never see her again. But Hyerim wasn't just his niece anymore, she was his kid, and he was her father. He had cared for her more than anyone else and he planned to care for her until he took his last breath. He owed that to his sister. The only way he felt like he could keep her safe was by leaving his family, but he hadn't known how. He didn't have any money, he had never started an apprenticeship at his father's company since he had taken care of Hyerim. So the circus really had been his only way out for now.

The second reason was a little more personal. Jeongguk knew that he'd probably never get married. He would've long since found a wife otherwise. Now he couldn't just blame this on Hyerim. Jeongguk just... didn't do love. He had never fallen in love, had never fancied anyone. No girls had ever stolen his heart, and boys hadn't either. He was the youngest of the family so marrying him off had been the least of his parents' concerns. Maybe he was just broken. Maybe the gods just didn't give him the ability to love.

He knew that once he moved to the circus, there was no way he'd ever find love. Not that there weren't nice girls at the circus, he couldn't have known that it was just an inkling he had. People didn't join the circus to find love after all.

Except.

There was something about Taehyung and Jimin that had captivated him - though Jeongguk was too scared to call it love.

Even though it's been a few weeks since Jeongguk and Hyerim moved in, Jimin still couldn't stand him at all. Whenever they walked into each other he'd give him dirty looks and he had the time of his life criticising Jeongguk's cooking skills. Taehyung on the other hand had nothing but soft words and gentle touches for him, always making sure that Jeongguk and Hyerim were feeling welcomed into their makeshift family.

Jeongguk didn't like to admit it, but he did try to watch Taehyung and Jimin practise as much as he could. After the first week, he had secretly glanced at the practice schedule and 'accidentally' planned his work breaks so that he could sneak over to watch them from the side lines. He really didn't know what it was about them that fascinated him this much.

From Hyerim he knew that they were somewhat foster parents to Myah, since the girls had become best friends instantly. This was also how he had found out that they were a couple as well, which was interesting to say the least. Jeongguk had gotten over his surprise at seeing same sex couples in the circus (since there seemed to be multiple ones) so he wasn't quite sure why Taehyung and Jimin had caught his attention.

Maybe... well they were beautiful, both in their own way. Jeongguk had always liked looking at pretty people, so he wasn't surprised he liked watching the acrobats. Though there was something different about the two of them. Something about their relationship made Jeongguk almost... jealous. When Taehyung picked up Jimin, he wanted to be the one holding the man, and when Jimin sneaked in a kiss or two between tricks...

Ah, it couldn't be. This wasn't love, right?

Jeongguk wouldn't know. He had never felt it, this kind of love, and judging from their distance his parents hadn't either, at least not for each other. But for once he kind of wished he knew what it felt like. To be loved the way Jimin and Taehyung seemed to love each other. Was that selfish? It was surely illegal.

The weeks went by and Jeongguk found out what it was like to have a family - one that truly loved and accepted him. He learned that it wasn’t just existing in the same space but that it was helping each other, even if quietly and without asking. He had grown up with older brothers but only now did he experience his hyungs taking care of him. Yoongi bringing him and Namjoon something he had baked to the office, Seokjin play fighting with him whenever the elder noticed him worry too much and Hoseok simply draping himself around his body, hugging him and kissing his cheek. Most of the other acrobats were younger than Jeongguk, so Jeongguk learned to care for them as well. It was giving and taking.

Jimin and Taehyung looked after him too, though around them he felt much more nervous. Taehyung left lingering touches whenever he walked by and Jimin huffed and grumbled but always made sure Jeongguk’s plates and glasses were full, that he was eating and drinking well. Jeongguk was thankful, though his breath caught in his throat whenever it happened.

This was love, wasn’t it? Some form of it at least.

Jeongguk absentmindedly chewed on the skin of his fingertips, as his eyes looked across the room. He was standing in the very corner of the backstage area, trying not to get in the way of all the acrobats and dancers that had just finished another show. As always, his eyes were drawn to Jimin and Taehyung who were standing a few metres away from him. They were still wearing their costumes for the stage and Jimin had his hair tied up in the prettiest braids. Usually, Jimin wore more feminine costumes and hairstyles for the stage – it made Jeongguk wonder if the audience knew he was a boy. Or maybe he wasn’t. Jeongguk had heard Taehyung call him his ‘favourite girl’ once. So maybe Jimin was a girl. Was it possible to be both? Jeongguk didn’t know how, didn’t understand it. But he had also not understood love and now he was starting to.

At some point Taehyung looked up, meeting Jeongguk’s eyes. Ashamed that he was caught staring, he looked down before making his way to the stairway. He rushed up the stairs and walked to his room, checking on Hyerim. Like most of the kids, she went to bed during the show, Jeongguk having read her a bedtime story just an hour ago. She seemed to be fast asleep now, but he decided not to risk waking her up. He wanted to go over their numbers in the office anyway, maybe see how they would divide up his father’s payment next month.

He was double-checking that their income was going to cover all their bills this month when someone knocked on the door. Jeongguk looked up and found Taehyung’s head peeking into the room. “Can I come in?”

Jeongguk nodded, feeling his stomach getting tingly with nerves. “Yes.”

Taehyung pulled up Namjoon’s chair and sat down next to Jeongguk, propping his arm up on the desk. For a minute he was quiet, making Jeongguk even more nervous. “Your eyes…”

“What about my eyes?” Jeongguk asked quietly.

The acrobat cocked his head, a small smile on his lips. “They always seem to follow me and Jimin. As if you’re a sunflower and we are the sun.”

Oh. So they had noticed – or Taehyung had. “I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about.” Taehyung reached out to grab one of Jeongguk’s hands in his lap. “I was just wondering why.”

The younger hesitated. How could he reply to this when he didn’t even know himself? “I- I’m not-“

“Do you…” Taehyung watched him curiously, his eyes almost twinkling. “Do you ever think about kissing me? Or Jimin?”

Jeongguk’s eyes widened. His throat tightened up, not letting any sound out.

Taehyung’s hand slowly wandered up to cup Jeongguk’s cheek. It felt rough, surely because of the many hours he spent practising. “I would not mind it if you did. Kiss me, that is.” Certainly, the skin of Jeongguk’s face must’ve been heating up under the acrobat’s hand.

He struggled, putting his thoughts into words. “But- Jimin-“

“He doesn’t mind,” Taehyung whispered as he leaned forward, his nose gently bumping against Jeongguk’s. “Say yes.”

Now you couldn’t blame Jeongguk. Anyone who had Taehyung breathing against their lips, anyone who was staring right into his sparkling eyes, would say yes. And when their lips met, Jeongguk suddenly stopped worrying so much about the definition of love. It didn’t matter what exactly he was feeling, because kissing Taehyung made him feel alive for the first time in a long while and frankly, he didn’t want to stop.

Taehyung chuckled against his lips. “You’re so…” But Jeongguk never got to know how Taehyung wanted to describe him since he pulled him in for another kiss.

But when the kiss ended, he immediately felt nervous again. What did this even mean? What was happening? “I- Sorry, I don’t-“

“I liked it.” Taehyung tucked a strand of hair that had fallen out of Jeongguk’s bun back behind his ear. “Did you?”

Jeongguk swallowed and looked down at his hands in his lap. “I did, but I’ve never- What does this mean? I thought you loved Jimin.”

A smile tucked on Taehyung’s lips, as it always did when someone mentioned Jimin to him. “I love Jimin more than life. But that doesn’t mean I can’t like you too because I do.”

Blinking rapidly, Jeongguk tried to wrap his head around the situation. So he liked Jimin and Taehyung and Taehyung liked Jimin and Jeongguk… Could that work? Jeongguk didn’t even know for sure what he wanted. And also… “I don’t think Jimin likes me very much.”

“Well.” The elder let out a weak laugh and shook his head. “I told you he doesn’t do well with- You know, he hated me a little when I first met him, too. It’s nothing personal, it’s about where we come from.”

Jeongguk frowned in confusion. “So your family has money, too?”

“Yeah.” Taehyung nodded. Gently but absentmindedly, his fingers ran over Jeongguk’s thigh, their knees brushing against each other. “Jimin grew up at a circus, but not this one. We met when we were 17 and I… I just ran from home. Of course, at first, he thought I was a snobby little boy who would crawl back home eventually.” He smiled softly at the memory. “I’ve proven myself since and I’m sure you will, too.”

“Okay.” Jeongguk hoped so. Even if Jimin didn’t like him as much as Jeongguk seemed to like him. He wanted Jimin to see the real him, not who his father wanted him to be.

“So…” Taehyung touched his cheek again, running his thumb over his cheekbone. “Will I get to kiss you again?” Jeongguk pressed his lips together, nodding slowly. “In front of the others?”

He hesitated. “Hyung, I-“

“In secret, then,” Taehyung interrupted him and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

Kissing in secret did apparently not exclude in front of Jimin as Jeongguk soon found out – but truthfully, he didn’t mind all too much. Though, he wasn’t so sure how Jimin felt about it. Sometimes it felt like Jimin was watching them, squinting at Jeongguk from across the room. But if he had a problem with them kissing, he’d definitely say so. So why was he even watching them like a hawk? To make sure Jeongguk didn’t hurt Taehyung? He would never.

Some things stayed the same. Jeongguk would take breaks from work around the time Jimin and Taehyung practised, so he could sneak downstairs and watch them. But now Taehyung would rush to him afterwards to ask him what he thought and to steal a few kisses. He helped them prepare for shows as well. At first, Jimin didn’t let him braid his hair, didn’t think he could do the braids that he wanted – he had since proven himself. Being with Taehyung had definitely brought him closer to Jimin, simply because they spent more time together by default. Sometimes he even thought he caught Jimin smiling at him. Jeongguk would never dare to get his hopes up, though. He was happy just to be able to kiss Taehyung as much as he did.

And he probably should’ve seen disaster coming.

After working and living at the circus for multiple months and not hearing from his parents at all, he didn’t think he’d ever see them again. So of course, he was more than surprised when Namjoon knocked on his door to let him know he had seen his parents in the audience of their show. Jeongguk quickly kissed Hyerim goodnight and followed the man downstairs. Together they stood at the edge of the stage where the audience couldn’t see them, Namjoon pointing at where Jeongguk could find his parents.

There they were. Sitting in the middle of the audience, seeming not at all impressed by Yoongi who was on stage and shoving burning torches into his mouth. Jeongguk clenched his jaw. What the hell were they doing here? He forced himself to stay with Hyerim until the show was over, before rushing back downstairs. Not even thinking about it, he made his way through the crowd of people that were getting up to leave.

“Father.” He reached out to grab the sleeve of his father’s hanbok. It was kind of disrespectful but that didn’t even matter to him anymore. His father ripped his arm out of his grip and looked at him. “Father, what are you doing here?”

“Am I not allowed to visit my son’s workplace?” the man asked, squinting down at him.

Jeongguk didn’t know what to reply at first. It had been months, and this clearly wasn’t the sort of place people like his family enjoyed. His father didn’t find joy in the performing arts, he found joy in money and success. “Of course,” he forced out when he couldn’t think of something else. He bowed his head, before glancing at his mother who ducked her head to avoid his eyes.

“Jeongguk-ah.” A sudden weight crashed against Jeongguk’s back, Taehyung’s arms wrapping themselves around his neck. When he didn’t react and didn’t grab onto Taehyung’s legs around his waist like he usually would, the acrobat let go of him.

Sensing trouble, Jeongguk shot his parents a weak smile. “Father, Mother, this is Kim Taehyung. I believe you saw him performing just now. He’s my- he’s my friend.”

After realising he was standing in front of Jeongguk’s parents and a sponsor of the circus, Taehyung quickly straightened his back and bowed. “It’s so nice to meet you.”

Jeongguk’s father frowned looking at Taehyung as if he was dirt under his shoe. “You’re friends with- this?”

He bit his tongue. “Father-“

“He’s a piece of scum, just like all of them,” his father said as if Taehyung wasn’t standing right there. Jeongguk opened his mouth but before he could reply, Taehyung squeezed his arm and left. He couldn’t blame him. He didn’t deserve to hear anything his father had to say about him. “I didn’t send you here so you could become one of them.”

“No, I think you did exactly that,” Jeongguk shot back, feeling angrier than he ever had. “You needed me and Hyerim out of the picture without getting your hands dirty. What did you tell our extended family or our neighbours? Did you tell them I died?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” The man scoffed, but Jeongguk could tell by the face his mother was making that he wasn’t that far off. It hurt. He had known he wasn’t his father’s favourite son but to think he was so unimportant his family would rather pretend he didn’t exist…

“You don’t get to decide who I’m friends with anymore,” Jeongguk said as calm as he could. “I don’t want you to ever come back here and insult any of my friends again. If you hate us so much, I don’t understand why you even send us money.” Before he could say something even worse, Jeongguk pressed his lips together and turned around to leave. He thought maybe his father would stop him and apologise but of course, he didn’t.

Jeongguk found Taehyung sitting on the stairs, hunched over, and rushed to sit next to him. “I am so sorry, I don’t know what they were doing here.”

“It’s fine,” Taehyung mumbled even though it clearly wasn’t. “I- yeah, I understand.”

With a frown, Jeongguk reached out to wrap an arm around Taehyung’s waist and squeezed it. “Nothing he said was true. You’re… none of all that. You’re amazing and talented and sweet and-“ He sighed and dropped his head on Taehyung’s shoulder. “I wish I could tell him just how much you mean to me without getting myself killed.”

Taehyung snorted, a small smile on his face. “ I appreciate that.” He lifted his hand to pat Jeongguk’s face. “I don’t actually care about what your father thinks of me, it’s just… I haven’t seen my own parents since I was 17 and… well, I think they’d say the same to me.”

Pouting, Jeongguk wished he could reassure Taehyung and tell him that no, his parents wouldn’t say things like that. Except they probably would. Everyone outside of this circus would.

Jeongguk woke up to the smell of smoke. With a cough, he sat up, rubbing his eyes. For a second he thought, someone had just burned breakfast, before he heard the crackling of fire nearby. Scrambling out of bed, Jeongguk opened the door and immediately got hit with a wall of heat. As he looked to the left he saw flames licking up the walls at the end of the hallway.

“Fuck,” he cursed, rushing over to their closet where he pulled out two thick scarves. As he wrapped one of them loosely around his neck, he knelt back on the bed so he could shake Hyerim awake. “Hyerim-ah, you have to wake up, come on, we need to go.”

The girl sat up with a frown. “What?”

“The building is burning so we need to go outside, okay?” Jeongguk said as he started tying the other scarf around Hyerim’s face, covering her mouth and nose. He couldn’t even lie to her about the situation to make it less scary. “You need to breathe through the scarf or you’ll get smoke into your lungs.”

“It’s burning?” She looked at him with fear in her eyes. Jeongguk pressed a quick kiss to her hair, before helping her get out of bed. He gently shoved her shoes onto her feet. “Do we have to walk through the fire?”

“I don’t think so.” He slipped into his own shoes. “The fire is at the back of the building so we should be able to use the stairs and get out. Do you want me to carry you?”

Hyerim hesitated, glancing at the door that was still open. “Yes, please.”

“Alright, come here.” He picked her up, holding on to her tightly. “Close your eyes, okay? That way you don’t get smoke into your eyes as well.”

“Okay,” Hyerim mumbled through the scarf and pressed her head into his neck. Jeongguk took a second to calm himself down before he left their room. The fire had already worked its way closer to his door. As he hurried to the staircase he knocked on every door he passed, yelling at everyone to wake up. Not many people even slept on his floor and he wasn’t sure which rooms were occupied at the moment but it was better to be safe than sorry.

On the staircase, he met other people rushing down the stairs, which relieved him. At least he wasn’t the only person awake and the upper floors were evacuating. He walked down the stairs so fast he almost tripped. The smoke in the air got thicker, burning in his eyes. With his free hand, he pressed his scarf to his mouth and nose.

When Jeongguk saw that most of the backstage area was already on fire, he could feel a lump building in his throat. This was most likely where the fire had started. Had it been an accident? Had someone broke in and set the fire deliberately? Looking at everything that was burning… Jeongguk didn’t know how they’d ever rebuild all this.

Trying not to dwell on everything they were losing, Jeongguk followed everyone who was leaving the building through the main entrance after walking through the audience seats. There was a crowd gathering in front of the circus already, though some of them were just onlookers. He hoped one of them had at least called the firefighters.

His legs immediately brought him to Taehyung who was comforting a crying Myah and wiping ash off her face. “Hyung!” He put Hyerim down.

Taehyung pulled him in for a tight hug. “Thank goodness, you’re okay. We didn’t check on you when we ran out and I felt so bad and-“

“Where’s Jimin?” Jeongguk asked when he realised the man wasn’t in the crowd.

“He went back inside,” Taehyung said with a grimace. “He wanted to grab something and he promised he’d check whether you guys got out. I’m sure he’ll-“

“I’ll get him.” He gently pushed Hyerim to sit on the ground with Myah. “Stay with Hyerim.”

Taehyung grabbed his arm. “Jeongguk, don’t.”

“I gotta.” He ripped his arm out of Taehyung’s grip and ran back into the circus. If anything would happen to Jimin just because he was still in the building to look for him…

No, he couldn’t let that happen. He had to find Jimin. If not for himself then for Taehyung and Myah.

What did Jimin want to grab? Something from the backstage area? He stared into the flames trying to see anything but the smoke was making his eyes tear up. “Jimin?” He shouted into the room but the only things he could hear were the crackling of the fire and the creaking of the wood. Jeongguk looked up at the ceiling. How much longer was the building gonna be able to stand? He should hurry.

As he climbed up the stairs one at a time, he had to cough. The scarf didn’t help so much after all. Keeling over, he pressed his eyes closed. Maybe he could just go slow. Maybe he could take a small break and just breathe – except all he did was cough until his lungs hurt. He felt himself grow more and more exhausted. Suddenly he forgot why he had even run back into the fire. He could just lay down for a second, right? He’d remember any moment and then he’d…

Every breath hurt. It felt like there were needles inside Jeongguk’s chest. He groaned when something wet touched his face, something wet and cold – a sponge maybe? What was happening?

“Shhh, you’re fine,” he heard someone whisper. Wait, was that Jimin? Slowly, Jeongguk blinked his eyes open, though it had felt like they had been glued shut. Jimin was sitting on a chair next to his bed, cleaning his body with a sponge. Why was his body even this dirty? When Jimin noticed he was awake, he sent him a soft smile. “Hello there, good to see you again.”

“Wh-“ Jeongguk’s throat was completely dry. He made a croaking noise until Jimin handed him a glass of water. He gulped down the liquid as fast as he could. “What happened? Where am I?”

Jimin hummed and reached out to wipe Jeongguk’s forehead again. “You’re in the hospital because you’re an idiot and you ran into a burning building.”

Right. The fire. Jimin who was missing. “I was looking for you, I wanted to get you out.”

“Why?“ Jimin asked softly. “Because you love me?”

“Yeah,” Jeongguk mumbled with a frown, he was getting increasingly uncomfortable in the bed but he felt too exhausted to move. “And because Taehyung loves you and Myah and- Can you help me sit up?”

The acrobat clicked his tongue in amusement and pulled him up by his armpits. “I found you passed out in the stairway, had to carry you out. Tae was worried sick.” He brushed Jeongguk’s hair out of his face. “He was here for a really long time but I made him get some sleep.”

“Thank you for saving me.” Jimin only smiled. “Why are you smiling at me?” Jimin never smiled at him.

“I know I’m bad at showing it but I do like you,” Jimin replied and rolled his eyes. His fingers kept combing through Jeongguk’s hair in a way that Jeongguk had watched him do to Taehyung an endless number of times.

Jeongguk snorted. “You’re extremely bad at showing it.”

“Okay, I’ll show you then.” He grabbed the back of Jeongguk’s neck and leaned forward to press their lips together. His lips were much plumper than Taehyung’s but Jeongguk didn’t mind it. In fact, he liked kissing him just as much. That was until he coughed into his mouth. Jimin pulled away with a disgusted look on his face. “Damn it, Jeongguk, you piece of grilled meat.”

“Thank you for your loving words.”

Jimin laughed and pulled him in for another kiss. “I should let you sleep some more. We weren’t even sure you’d make it, considering how much smoke you inhaled.”

The younger let Jimin help him lay down again. Sleeping more sounded great. “What about the circus?”

“Ah.” He grimaced. “We’re trying to figure it out. We might get a tent outside of the city or we’ll start moving from city to city. You know, like a traditional circus.”

Jeongguk nodded with a sigh. “Okay,” he mumbled. “As long as I’m with you and Tae.” His eyes slipped shut and he felt Jimin’s hand go back to his hair.

“You will be.”

“Can we go outside and play with the ponies?” Hyerim looked up at Jeongguk with her best puppy eyes, Myah’s arm wrapped around her.

Jeongguk raised an eyebrow at the two girls who were known for causing troubles all around the circus. “Have you finished your schoolwork for the day?”

“Yessir,” they replied in unison with big smiles on their faces.

“Alright, then. But don’t be late for dinner.” Giggling, the girls ran off, holding each other’s hands tightly. They were almost like real sisters now, it warmed Jeongguk’s heart. He turned around to bring his attention back to Jimin and Taehyung’s practice.

“Where are the girls off to?” Jimin asked from where he was hanging upside down on a trapeze. Jeongguk still didn’t feel a hundred percent comfortable watching the two of them just hang and jump around that high up in the air. They had a net now and it was definitely safe but… he was just worried about them.

Jeongguk stepped as close to the net as he could. “To the ponies.”

Taehyung dropped himself off his own trapeze and let himself fall into the net with his arms crossed over his chest. “Again?” he asked, as the net was still bouncing up and down. “I’m telling you, not long until they’ll perform with them.”

“I just think they’re still too young,” Jeongguk mumbled. Taehyung got off the net on Jeongguk’s side and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. The younger wrapped his arms around the acrobat to pull him closer.

“I started performing when I was five years old.” He looked up at Jimin who was grinning down at him. “It’s a circus family thing.”

Taehyung pulled on his arm. “Come on, you should join us up there. I know you’re not scared of heights.” With a sigh, Jeongguk let himself be ushered to one of the ladders. He really wasn’t afraid of heights, just of falling. He climbed the ladder until he got to the small platform on top. Taehyung, who had been right behind him, squeezed himself next to him.

Jeongguk glanced down at the net, before looking over at Jimin who was watching them with a smile. He felt like something warm was blooming in his chest. “You know, I never thought I’d fall in love. I thought I wasn’t able to fall in love and I made peace with that because I thought that’s what the stars told me to do. I didn’t think this was a possibility.” His voice was quiet enough just for Taehyung to hear.

The acrobat gently nudged his chin. “I guess we rewrote the stars then.” He pulled on a rope to bring the trapeze to the platform. “Alright, I need you to sit down on the trapeze and then drop backwards so that you’re hanging upside down like Jimin, okay?”

Knowing there was no use in arguing and that he was safe with his boyfriends, Jeongguk did what he was told and let Taehyung guide him step by step until he was swinging back and forth on the trapeze, holding on just with his legs. He had to admit it was kind of fun.

“You need to grab onto me,” Jimin shouted at him when he started to swing closer and closer to Jeongguk. “And you need to let go of your legs when you do.”

Oh god. Just a moment later, Jimin was close enough to wrap his fingers around Jeongguk’s forearms. He grabbed Jimin back out of reflex and managed to remember to let go of the trapeze just in time. With a squeak, he felt himself getting pulled by Jimin, hanging just from their joint arms. He was flying. It felt exhilarating and scary at the same time. But seeing Jimin’s grinning face was worth it.

“I love you,” he rushed to say, scared Jimin was going to let go of his arms without warning.

Jimin giggled, his nose scrunching up as he did. “I love you, too, but I’m gonna let you fall now alright?” He explained to Jeongguk what he needed to pay attention to before it was time for him to fall.

And then he fell.

And it wasn’t so scary after all.