Chapter Text
Love. It was a stupid concept, really. The idea of being head over heels for a complete stranger only for it to lead to even more complex emotions. It wasn’t the most ideal thing for Katsuki. If he had the choice to not be able to fall in love, he’d take it in a heartbeat. Of course, that was impossible. And he was bound to fall into that whirlwind of emotions at one point in his life.
In his case, though, it started with a honey-blond with the black lightning bolt streak.
Well, not at first, at least. Katsuki had met him back during his high school years. Katsuki thought of him as a nuisance. He was loud, annoying, flamboyant, and had no sense of personal space. The list could go on about all the things that Katsuki couldn’t stand about him. He clung to Katsuki and his best friend, Eijirou, like a lost puppy. Now that he thought about it, he was, in fact, just as energetic and high-maintenance as one. Nevertheless, Katsuki had to put up with his antics for the sake of Eijirou and his other friends.
Somehow, he squeezed his way into Katsuki’s life more and more as the high school years went by. Starting with being in his classes, to befriending Katsuki’s own best friend, to even joining his friend group. At that point, he had no way of avoiding him, not when he started to actually enjoy being around the boy as well.
Katsuki wouldn’t admit that in a million years, though, oh god no. That boy’s ego was big enough as it already was. Katsuki wasn’t going to feed into it even more.
His antics started to be less annoying, and the things he did or said became more endearing. Yelling at him for even standing near him turned to him being able to lean onto Katsuki and only getting a small grunt in return. Katsuki caught himself staring for longer than he should've been at him. Either watching the way he smiled, or laughed, or even when he was just sitting contentedly and observing. Katsuki’s noticed some of his habits; Like how he picked at his cuticles whenever he was bored, or whenever he seemed to have a song stuck in his head, he’d quietly hum it aloud to himself, or how he tended to ramble on and on about literally everything and nothing at the same time. There was never a quiet moment around him.
Katsuki thought of this feeling he had as something one would normally feel around a friend. There wasn’t anything out of the ordinary about it. Who cares if Katsuki had known those little things about him while his other friends didn’t? And who cares if he did hope that every time he sat next to Katsuki, he’d eventually lean onto him at some point? It’s not like he wanted to listen to his ramblings, either, but he wouldn’t complain if he had to.
It wasn’t until their third year of high school that things took a turn, mostly for Katsuki. Not until one particular night when Katsuki heard multiple knocks pounding on his dorm door, only to see the honey-blond on the other side, tired eyes, and a tear-stained face.
Katsuki looked the boy up and down in front of him: his more-than-usual tousled hair to the usual attire he wore when lounging around, “The hell are you doing here, Sparky?”
Denki took in a heavy, long breath before shutting his eyes and exhaling loudly, “You mind if I talk to you for a little bit? A lot’s been on my mind lately.” Katsuki couldn’t hear the usual chirpy tone when he spoke. It annoyed him.
Katsuki let out a small “tsk” before stepping to the side, “S’whatever. Do what you want.”
He nodded lightly, silently walking into Katsuki’s room and heading straight towards his bed. Once Katsuki shut his door and turned back around, Denki was already sitting on his bed. He had grabbed one of his pillows and hugged it tightly to his chest, resting his chin on the top of it, sitting cross-legged. Katsuki thought about sitting down on his bed beside him, but decided against it and went over to his swivel chair by his desk instead. He didn’t know what was going on, but it looked like Denki needed some space. Granted, he did come to Katsuki's room to talk, so how much space could he really give him? Katsuki threw a leg over the chair, sitting down backward on it. He places his arms on top of the chair, crossed together, chin resting on them.
There’s silence for a brief moment, neither one of them speaking. Katsuki was the first to break the silence. “So?” he started, “Are you just gonna sit there? What the hell did you want to rant about this time?” Denki continued to stare off into space as if he didn’t even hear what Katsuki had said. “Sparky.” Katsuki tried to call out to him. No luck. He let out an aggravated sigh while rolling his eyes, “Kaminari.” he said more sternly.
As if broken from a trance, Denki jumped slightly, quickly glancing over at Katsuki. “Hm? What?” he blinked. “Oh, right, sorry… uh-” he starts quietly, glancing away from Katsuki again. Denki opens his mouth, but nothing seems to come out. So he shuts it close again, biting down lightly on his bottom lip.
Katsuki’s head drops forward slightly as he lets out another long sigh, “Look, if you’ve got nothin’ to say then get the hell out of my-“
“Have you-” Denki's interruption causes Katsuki to pause mid-sentence, shutting his mouth so he can listen to the rest of what Denki had to say, “…Have you ever been in love before, Bakugou?”
Katsuki stares at Denki, blinking several times. Did he hear him right? “Huh.”
“You know, like… fallin’ in love? With a girl? A guy? Anyone? ”
Katsuki blinked again, “Where the hell is this coming from?”
Denki continued to gnaw at his bottom lip lightly, “I don’t know, it’s just… recently I’ve been feeling… like that.” he started, “Like, feeling weak. And breathless. But also like a rush of excitement at the same time.”
“So... you’ve been crying because you’ve got the hots for someone?” The conversation was only confusing Katsuki the more they talked.
Denki's eyes widen slightly when he looks back at Katsuki, looking dumbfounded at what he said. He glances away slightly, as his hands rose to rub at his eyes, “I wasn’t crying.” he pouts lightly.
“You’re a terrible liar.”
“I’m not lying!”
“You are.”
“I'm not!”
“Even shitty hair’s a better liar than you.”
Denki goes quiet after Katsuki’s last remark, looking away from him once again. There’s silence between the two again. “So?” Katsuki asks.
“So… what?”
“Who is it?” Katsuki asked, “Who’s the unfortunate person?”
Denki sighs, “Why did I even come here to talk to you about this?” Denki said, mostly to himself, hugging Katsuki’s pillow closer to his chest again.
“I'm still wondering the same thing myself,” Katsuki mutters. Denki remains quiet, burying the bottom half of his face into the pillow. “So are you gonna tell me who it is or not? Is it a girl?”
“No.” his voice came out muffled from his face still being smothered by the pillow.
Katsuki sighs, “Ok, I'm assuming it’s a guy, then?” Denki nodded his head, “Is it someone in our year?” Another nod. “Are they in a different class? Like that purple insomniac guy you hang out with?”
“No. Our class.” Denki's voice muffled out as he shook his head ‘no’.
“…Don’t tell it’s one of those dumbasses.”
Denki remained silent.
“Is it Soy Sauce face? Half-n-half?” Katsuki asked, then paused for a moment, “Don’t tell me it’s fucking Deku.”
Denki shook his head no again, “Not them.”
Katsuki looked off to the side and tried to think about anyone else. Denki did get along with all the other guys in their class, but the ones he had named prior were the ones he was closest to. And it obviously couldn’t be him since Denki chose to talk to him about whoever the guy was. Other than them, there really wasn’t anyone else, unless—
“Shitty hair?” It hit him like a truck, realizing that he was the last person to name out loud.
When he was met with no response, he looked back over to Denki, and that’s when he knew. A warm blush coated his cheeks as he clung to Katsuki’s pillow even tighter, almost as if he were trying to suffocate the lifeless object. He was looking anywhere but at Katsuki in the moment. Katsuki let out a small scornful chuckle, “You’re kidding me, right? That dumbass?”
“I’m sorry, ok?! It’s not like I wanted this to happen!” Denki suddenly blurts out when the pillow dropped to his lap, which even startled Katsuki a little, “I just… just- ” Denki was breathing a bit more frantically now, as his eyes began to well up with tears. He looked as if he wanted to run his hands through his hair, but the red clips he had in already were preventing him from doing so. Katsuki let out a quiet sigh as he pushed himself up off his swivel chair. He walked to his bed and sat down beside Denki. He figured that at some point, Denki would find a way to seek some physical touch for comfort. He may as well make it easier for Denki now and less of a hassle for himself later.
“Breathe, dumbass. You’re gonna hurt yourself.” Katsuki said, “It’s not a big deal to have a crush on Shitty Hair, calm down.” he tried to comfort him as best as he could, but being sympathetic wasn’t usually in Katsuki’s nature. It wasn't something he normally showed often.
It takes a couple of moments for Denki to catch his breath and calm down, but he eventually does. He picks up Katsuki’s pillow once again and hugs it close to his chest. Some tears silently rolled down Denki’s flushed cheeks. “Sorry.”
“Don't wanna hear a damn apology. Why the hell are you even doing that?” There’s a pause before Katsuki speaks up again, “So why is having a stupid crush on Spiky Hair such a big deal to you?”
Denki lets out a heavy sigh as his body falls over to its side, leaning against Katsuki's side. Katsuki makes a mental note about being right once again with moving to the bed, “I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but… it is for me. It’s the first time I’ve ever felt, like, actual feelings for anyone.”
“Don’t you flirt with the other extras in our class?”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’m head over heels for everyone I’ve ever met.” Denki said, “It’s… different with Eijirou.”
“Ugh, you’re even calling him by his given name?” Katsuki asked with a disgusted tone.
Denki raised an arm to smack at Katsuki’s chest lightly, “Hush, let me continue my rant.” he pouts, then continues, “I don’t know what it is about him… no, scratch that. I know exactly what it is.” he lets out a pitiful chuckle, “He made me feel… seen.”
“Seen?”
“Yeah, you know, he gave me a lot of attention.” Denki started, “I’ve always been used to people giving up on being friends with me because I get that I can be annoying. That’s why I’ve always been friendly with everyone.” He paused, “But he stayed. I’ve never really had someone like that in my life for the longest time.”
“What about our shitty friend group now?”
“Ok, well, he was the first one who stayed. Him being pretty and considerate is just a plus too.”
“So why don’t you just shoot your shot instead of just whining about him?” Denki suddenly sat up, looking over at Katsuki as if he had just said the most baffling thing he’s ever heard, “What?” Katsuki asked.
“Clearly you’ve been under a fucking rock.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!”
Denki blinked, “Have you not seen how well Eijirou and Midoriya have been hitting it off lately?!”
“Shitty hair and that nerd?” Katsuki asked, raising a brow, “They’re dating?”
“No… not yet, anyway.” Denki falls back down to the prior position he was in, leaning against Katsuki, “But there’s very obviously something going on between them.”
“Ok? Then go say something to him before it’s too late, dumbass.”
“What?” Denki cranes his head back to look up at Katsuki, “No! I can’t do that. Besides… Eijirou said he was going to ask him out soon. I don’t wanna ruin that for him.”
“I still don’t see why you can’t say something.”
Denki looks back down, “What if he doesn’t like me back in the same way, Kacchan?” The sudden nickname makes Katsuki feel slightly squeamish, still not really used to the idea of people calling him that other than Izuku. “He obviously won’t, since all he’s talked about for the past month and a half is Midoriya and wanting to ask him out. And it's so obvious that Midoriya feels the same way about Eijirou from the way he acts around him. I can't just go and ruin all of that for Eijirou or Midoriya. And even if it’s killing me on the inside, I just… I can't take that risk.” he pauses, “I can't lose him, too, Bakugou.”
Before Katsuki even had the chance to respond, Denki suddenly let go of Katsuki’s pillow and wrapped his arms around Katsuki. The sudden weight being thrown onto him causes Katsuki to slightly lose his balance. He barely catches himself with his elbow, wrapping his other free arm around Denki to hold them both in place. Katsuki felt a sudden warmth begin to bloom in his cheeks as he furrowed his eyebrows together, glaring down at Denki. Denki had his head resting against Katsuki’s torso, half his face burrowed into the tempered teen’s shirt with his eyes shut. Katsuki lets out an aggravated sigh, “Did you really have to throw all your weight onto me? You’re not light.”
Denki doesn’t move, only hugging Katsuki a bit tighter. He raises his head to look up at him, chin resting against Katsuki's chest, “M'sorry if I’m being annoying… I just thought you’d be able to understand what I was going through.”
“The hell’s that supposed to mean?”
“You know… the whole thing with you and Midoriya.”
There’s a moment of silence as the two stare at one another, “My what?”
“What? Didn’t you and Midoriya have a thing?”
“That’s ancient history, idiot. Nothing’s going on between me and that damn nerd anymore.” And that was the truth. There may have been something between the two teens back during their first year at Yuuei, but things had changed, and so had their feelings for each other. What they had was nice, but also incredibly complicated. In the end, they both mutually agreed to go their separate ways. It was better off this way since their feelings were more complex than they could both handle at the time. Of course, the two still deeply care about one another, not that Katsuki shows it too often. There had been a lot more improvement, however.
“Oh… sorry. Thought maybe you still had a thing for him.” Denki mumbled.
“Stop apologizing. It’s annoying.” Katsuki snapped, “And that’s all done and over with, too. D- Izuku and I haven't been a thing for a while.” There was a pause, “Can you let go of me now?”
Denki tightened his hold as Katsuki unraveled his arm from Denki to push him off by his face, “No! Not yet!” he pouted, “I’m not done crying yet!”
Katsuki stops pushing Denki, lifting his hand off of his face, “So you admit that you were crying?”
Denki lowers his head back down onto Katsuki, “Yeah. Now will you let me sulk in peace?” There’s a momentary silence, “…Please?” his voice was quieter now, almost in a weak tone.
Much to Katsuki’s dismay, he lets himself fall back onto the bed, and Denki falls with him. Katsuki scoffs. It wasn’t as if he had a choice anyway. Denki would somehow find a way to convince Katsuki to be his personal pillow, and he'd let him. He was better off just giving up anyway. The tempered teen glanced down, watching as Denki's body slowly rose and fell with each long, heavy breath. With every breath Katsuki took in, a strong whiff of whatever hair product Denki had used came along with it. How the hell does he smell like the rain? And was there a bit of a burnt smell, too?
Even with the unusual fragrance, the smell felt almost like a calming pheromone. Katsuki’s once stiff body now slowly began to loosen from not only his natural lingering smell but also his touch. He could see, even with Denki’s eyes closed shut, that some tears still threatened to spill down his cheeks and fall onto Katsuki's t-shirt. Katsuki felt his hand twitch lightly from beside him on his bedsheets, and before he could stop himself, his hand rose and gently placed itself onto Denki's back. His cheeks flushed again as he slowly ran his palm up and down against the fabric of his shirt soothingly. He heard Denki let out a small sigh of content. A million things ran through Katsuki’s brain at that moment, about past relationships, about his current ones, and even ones he might have within his future, but there was only one thing that Katsuki knew as he gazed down at Denki.
Even while crying, he was just as beautiful.