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Riki sat between Jake and Sunoo, they watched as groups preform. It was their first award show in person with an audience so they were all excited and nervous. They laughed and danced when boy groups were playing, and sitting in silence when girl groups played, not wanting a dating scandal just yet. They were going to perform soon, so Riki had told Jake and Sunoo he was leaving for the washroom.
He walked down the corridors, the warm lights lit up the room, getting into the door saying mens.
He washed his hands, looking in the mirror in front of him, his blonde hair was filled with hairspray, having glitter under his eyes. His face was covered in makeup, the makeup artists did a good job, they always did a good job.
Riki had exited the room, closing the door and bumping into someone. Recovering from his initial shock, he quickly bowed, going to say sorry. He was immediately shoved upright, back colliding against the hallway wall. He blinked looking at the group of men, they were an older group called ‘abc123’, their ages getting close to 30. They already gone to the military, gained respect in their music and personas. Riki had looked up to them once, when he was younger and just gotten into kpop.
“Watch where you’re going, don’t you know who we are?” One of the members had said. Riki was pinned to the wall, getting cornered by the five member group. There was silence before one of them chuckled, looking down as if to pity him, then looking back up, “Aren’t you that 15 year old that snuck his way onto a band? I feel sorry for your band mates having to babysit you. Can you even speak Korean?”
Riki stayed silent, wondering how he knew all of that about him, if they hated him so much, how did they know his age, where he was from.
“I don’t even think he can understand us, he might just be dumb and yet he managed to convince everyone he’s the best kpop dancer.”
Riki shook his head, “Wait, I don’t think that,” he tried to get away but it was hard, 5 against 1.
“You think you’re better than us? Go back to Japan, no one likes you here, you think your members do? I’ve seen them, I’ve been in the industry long enough to know when someone’s faking a friendship.”
Riki stayed silent, letting them hurl insults at him, he’s what he could do. It gotten to a point where he pointed out, “I have to go, I’m going on stage soon,” he mumbled out, the leader of the group smiled warmly at him,
“I’ll see you late, Riki.”
He didn’t have time to cry, he had to find his members and get ready to preform. He found the others in their seat, Heeseung looking at his phone for the time, wondering when Riki was coming back. Riki fell back to his chair, Heeseung throwing a worried glance at him. Riki thought back to what they said, did they not care for him, was it just a persona they had.
Jungwon got up, the others following him as they walked to the backstage. Riki felt out of it, the group was going to watch him, critique him, they might follow him and beat him up, he thought he was going to get beat up.
“Riki, are you okay?” Jay asked, noticing the kid being spaced out. He was fine before, what happened when he left. Riki nodded and it was there time to go on.
Riki got into his position and they would be playing their songs. Everything was going well he thought, the lights blinded him and he couldn’t see anyone in his view. Riki had gone to the back of the formation. There was a staircase behind them, Riki banging his ankle against the metal bars. He ignored it, knowing it would sprain but he couldn’t show it, not when someone in the crowd was waiting for his downfall.
They finished it a minute later, Heeseung having the ending fairy, and they walked off the stage. He couldn’t cry then because his members were there, already insecure of how he stands with them, and he couldn’t go back to his seat with red eyes. He only had to be there for an hour before he had to leave as he was underage. He gripped onto his pants, they bounced with his anxiety.
The hour gone by in what felt like forever. All of the members had gone up, as they were all minors and left.
Riki gone into the car, being seated in the far middle back. He went on his phone, not wanting to know about what his members thought of him. Maybe he was just some dumb kid to them, being forced the responsibility of raising him. That they were burdened with him in their group.
As soon as he got to their dorms, he immediately got changed into his pyjamas and said he was going to sleep with the excuse of being tired. The members shared glances to each other, all varying with worry. He turned off the lights, climbing into the bed and shoved his head into the pillow. He silently cried, not noticing that the door had opened.
He felt a weight land beside him on the bed, “Riki,” it was Heeseung, why had he come, this wasn’t his room, “come here,” he whispered, waiting for Riki’s response. Heeseung was expecting to get ignored as the younger liked to deal with things alone, but when Heeseung saw the expression when he first came back, he couldn’t leave it alone, he had to be there.
Riki sat up, looking straight at Heeseung, he eyed the open arms and he quickly crawled into them. “Oh baby, you’re okay,” he comforted, rocking the younger softly, “don’t cry, what’s wrong?” Riki shook his head, there was so much and he didn’t want to burden him when he had so much going on as well.
“Hey, it’s okay, would you want to go to my room?” Heeseung asked, “It’s more private, you won’t have to worry about other people.” Riki nodded, watching as Heeseung stood up, waiting for Riki to do the same. When he did, Heeseung caught him before he fell, noticing his swollen ankle.
“When did this happen?” He asked, picking him up so he didn’t put any weight on it.
“The end of our performance,” he confessed, looking down, he was a bit ashamed, nothing was going his way. It felt like the day hated him and wanted to dispose of him.
“Don’t think like that,” Heeseung said, as if he knew what he was thinking, “let’s go to my room, I’ll treat you and you can tell me all of your woes, okay?” It was such a tempting offer that Riki agreed.
He was seated on Heeseungs bed, the oldest wrapping his ankle for a temporary solution. They sat in silence, enjoying the calm before they would eventually talk about the situation at hand.
Heeseung laid a hand on Riki’s knee, signalling he was done, “You’re okay now, are you willing to tell me what happened?”
He went into the bed as well, holding the younger close to him. Riki took in a shaky breath, following Heeseungs lead as they fell down to the pillow.
“There was a group, they were so mean to me, I don’t know why, they knew so much about me despite hating me,” Riki started, pausing for a minute, Heeseung had began to understand what’s happening, “they said I didn’t deserve to be here, that I should go back to Japan, or that the members don’t like me and only think of me as someone they’re forced to look after.”
There was silence after, Heeseung had froze. He couldn’t comprehend how someone could say things like that, especially to someone so young and sweet. How he wasn’t there for him when he needed him.
“Riki, you need to listen to me, okay?” Heeseung started, “You’re so talented, and we all love you, we don’t think you’re a burden, you were meant to be in this group, who cares if you’re a little young, we all love you, who said this?” Heeseung finished, wanting to know who to look out for.
Riki shook his head, “They’re an older group, it doesn’t matter.” He whined, moving further into Heeseung, “but thank you.”
In the morning, Riki was woke by a loud, “What!” It was Sunoo’s shrieking, and loud footsteps racing towards Heeseungs room. “Riki, you’re awake,” Sunoo said when he saw Riki who was sitting up, “why didn’t you tell anyone? I was right beside you?” Riki stayed silent, not even knowing the answer.
Since then, when they were at an award show, they would always be near Riki if abc123 was near. They got the name by annoying Riki until he caved. The fans caught on somehow, perhaps it was the death flares and everything the other band came too close, Riki would be given a death grip and pulled away. It wasn’t until they were on music bank, the fans had gone crazy, filling twitter with memes and jokes about their drama.
Then, Sunghoon had said “My youngest, Riki, he had looked up to you guys when he was younger, he’s probably jealous of me right now, but he’s respectful enough to not throw a fit.”
“Are you saying that he’s respectful?” Sunghoon blinked, they really were narrow minded and thought that was a threat on their silence, “I don’t care if he’s a talented Bitch, he doesn’t deserve anything.”
“Mr. The camera,” Sunghoon mentioned, the live going on.
When he got home, Riki was right there, “Why would you do that, Hyung?” Riki asked, he was so surprised when he saw the live.
“Of course I had to do it, you’re our baby, we’d always protect you.”