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Bennett could practically feel the burn of the Razor’s gaze through his skin.
His eyes were flickering over the marked up map he held in his hands, eyes never staying in one place through pure nervousness. He tried to act cool, he really did, but he was pretty sure even Razor could see the way his hands were grazing across the page with no real purpose. He even tried picking up a book and reading it, but Bennett felt he was way too obvious with the way he flipped through the pages; Razor may have never attempted to read a book properly, but Bennett wouldn’t doubt his observation skills with the way Lisa taught him.
He must’ve been going crazy.
Bennett and Razor decided on a whim to hang out in Wolvendom, both agreeing they could use a change of scenery from the library. Lisa clearly didn’t understand why they would need to get out of such a heaven like space, but they figured it wouldn’t be wise to quarrel.
So now here they were, Bennett with his back against a tree ‘looking’ at the map resting on his palms, and Razor fumbling with a group of wolfhooks in front of him mindlessly as he stared at Bennett through his lids. He clearly had something on his mind.
Bennett thought about confronting him multiple times by now, but each time he came close to actually saying, ‘hey, what’s up?’ or ‘hey, I noticed you staring,’ he chickened out. For likely the fiftieth time, now.
I’m going to do it, he thought. I’m going to ask him, I’m going to ask him, I’m going to ask him, I’m going to as-
“Bennett.”
Bennett flinched, the map flying out of his hands. The wind flushed it through the air towards Razor, who caught it with a small bout of surprise upon his features. He crawled (quite meticulously at that) over to Bennett, giving the map back with both hands.
“Thanks, man!” Bennett grinned, taking it from his hands before folding it into a square and shoving it into his pocket.
“Bennett,” Razor said again.
Back straightening as if he were called on by a Major General, he practically yelped a high-pitched, “Yes!” turning to look at Razor.
“Lupical told me story.”
Bennett hummed, tilting his head in a gesture for him to go on.
“When lupical meet ‘nother pack, sometimes they fall in love,” Razor started, never breaking eye contact. “Lupical says affection is,” he hesitated for a moment to gather his words before continuing. “Different.”
“What do you mean?”
“Lupical says this,” Razor scoots closer to Bennett, sitting thigh to thigh with him before running the side of his head along Bennett’s shoulder, the tufts of his hair brushing out of the way to expose his forehead momentarily. Bennett stiffened, fists clenching nervously by his sides before Razor sat upright and continued speaking. “For lupical.”
Bennett nodded, dazed. “Right.”
“But when Lupical love, they do something else.”
“What’s that?”
“Kiss.”
Bennett froze. Did he hear him right?
“Kiss?”
“Kiss.”
Oh. So he did.
“Bennett.”
“Yeah?”
“Kiss me.”
What.
“What!?”
“Razor wants Bennett kiss.”
“Wha- What!?”
“Razor wants practice,” he continued. “For mine.”
“You want to practice.”
Razor nodded.
“Kissing.”
Another nod.
“For a future lover.”
“Yes.”
Bennett took a shaky breath.
This conversation was really happening.
“Razor, I don’t know if I could help you.”
Razor eyebrows furrowed. Clearly, he was not expecting this answer.
Razor’s gaze was fixated on a blade of grass in front of him, obviously trying to make some sense out of the answer he received. He trusted Bennett. Why wouldn’t he agree?
“Razor won’t hurt Bennett.”
Bennett’s eyes widened, quickly taking Razor’s hands in his. “Look at me, Razor,” he said. “I know you will never hurt me. I just don’t want to hurt you.”
Razor met his gaze, an eyebrow raised in confusion. “Hurt Razor?”
“Yeah,” Bennett nodded. “Kissing is a pretty big thing and it can involve… feelings. I think. Actually, I don’t know much myself, but I heard people say it can be pretty taxing sometimes, and-”
“Razor trust Bennett.”
Bennett stopped mid sentence, eyes softening. He slouched, looking down at their hands.
“I guess I’m just a little worried. You really want the most unlucky guy in Teyvat to help you with something so fragile. And I barely know anything about kissing myself, like who would want to kiss me? Oh god, you should probably ask someone else, they’d be a better-”
Razor tugged on Bennett’s hands, pulling them closer to his chest. “Trust Bennett. No one else.”
Bennett broke his gaze with a sigh. “I guess I just feel that I won’t be of much help.”
“Want Bennett.”
Bennett scrunched his nose, shaking his head as if to shake all the negative thoughts away. Razor trusted him. Even if he didn’t have any experience himself. He was clearly insistent; would it really be a bad idea? They can learn together. Would that be sufficient? The two were quiet, Razor watching as the gears turned in Bennett’s head.
“I read this book a while ago,” Bennett mumbled. “It was about this adventurer's journey and I really wanted to learn and be like him. But he even included some… other stuff. So I’ll try to help with what I know.” Bennett connected his gaze with Razor’s. “Okay?”
Razor nodded, his cheeks now slightly coloured. This was really going to happen. How?
“For practice,” Bennett mumbled. “I could use the practice, too.”
“Okay, um… here,” Bennett stuttered among his words, pulling himself closer to Razor by their connected hands. He lifted his legs slightly to place over Razor’s thighs, gently placing them down and letting his legs hang a little awkwardly.
“Wait, no, I can’t-”
Razor slipped his hands out from Bennett’s, holding down Bennett’s legs by his knees. Bennett yelped in surprise, face dusted in a forming red. Razor pulled him back, Bennett sliding along the grass before Razor tucked Bennett’s legs to fold securely around the back of his waist. “Like this,” he mumbled.
“This is the woman’s position!”
“For practice,” Razor repeated. “Razor will be Bennett after.”
“You’re saying we’re going to do this more than once!?”
Razor nodded as if it was the simplest thing in the world. “For practice.”
Bennett sighed in an attempt to shake off his nerves. “Of course. For practice.”
Bennett could’ve sworn he saw the faintest of smirks upon his lips.
So Bennett continued, tapping Razor’s hands in reassurance that he wasn’t going to try to escape again. Razor let go of his knees, placing them uselessly in the center of Bennett’s lap. WIth blood rising to his cheeks, he took those hands hastily to wrap around his waist.
“Like this,” Bennett mumbled. “You gotta support me.”
“Always support Bennett.”
“That’s not what I meant! I just meant- just, nevermind! Keep your hands on my waist and I’ll keep my legs around your waist! Got it?”
With a nod, Bennett closed his eyes, trying to imagine the scene he saw in the book. She took her hands and placed them around his neck. Or was it her arms? Were the insides of her elbows hooked around his neck? Or-
“Bennett.”
“Yes! Yes. Okay so, I’m going to do this,” Bennett voiced quietly, raising his hands to place on either side of Razor’s neck. He then slid one of them to the back of Razor’s neck, pulling him in. Their noses were barely touching.
“Is this okay?” Bennett whispered.
Razor hummed in response; Bennett could hear the gulp in his throat.
“I’m going to kiss you now.”
Razor didn’t respond, just stared. Bennett closed his eyes and took a breath.
“Part your lips and close your eyes,” Bennett whispered. He could hear the quiet pop of Razor’s chapped lips parting slightly and the breath he released through them.
Bennett placed his lips on Razor’s. Was this how you kissed?
Razor moved his lips against Bennett’s, almost like a sort of embrace.
Bennett followed Razor; he embraced Razor’s lips in return. Razor stopped and turned his head slightly before doing it again. Bennett followed him once more; he turned his head, loosened his lips, and kissed his again.
So this is how you kiss.
Bennett could feel the small exhale of air from Razor’s nose; Maybe he needed air? Bennett released his mouth from Razor’s to take a small breath (hoping Razor did, too) before placing his lips to Razor’s once more.
This time, he kissed harder. His arm was now slung around Razor’s neck and a hand against his cheek. Bennett tested his movements; he moved his head slightly while still keeping his lips on Razor’s. This didn’t feel too bad.
Razor did the same, moving to the other side. His hands on Bennett’s waist tightened. Bennett arched his back in response, hugging his arm around Razor’s neck tighter, too. The two continued as such, before Razor broke for air. With a light pant, he slowly blinked. Bennett smiled lazily.
They stayed like that for a while, Razor clearly in a haze and Bennett with a stupid grin on his face. Maybe kissing wasn’t as bad as some of his dads made it out to be.
“Again,” Razor mumbled, leaning forward. He kissed the side of Bennett’s lip before the latter pushed him back.
“We said we were going to do a different position, remember? This isn’t the most comfortable for me as it may be for you.”
Razor stopped and nodded, leaning back up as he stared at Bennett. “What now?”
Bennett hummed, unhooking his legs from Razor’s waist. “Maybe we lie down? I’m kind of sleepy now.”
Razor nodded, pulling away. Bennett practically flopped down without the added support of Razor’s arms; technically it was already perfect for the intended act.
“‘Mkay, you can come now,” Bennett mumbled, raising his arms to tuck them behind his head. Razor practically pounced on him; He shuffled his arms under Bennett’s to hold them into place, sitting on top of Bennett’s lap with both legs placed one each side of his body.
Oh.
Oh.
Bennett’s breath hitched, eyes blown wide as he stared into Razor’s. He certainly was not expecting this.
“Again,” Razor said.
“Again,” Bennett whispered.
Razor dived down to kiss Bennett, almost as if he was hungry. Almost. Instead of their lips being placed firmly against one another, Razor aggressively gave Bennett a bunch of bird like pecks, lifting and kissing, lifting and kissing. Bennett couldn’t help but let out a bout of laughter, eyes forming crinkles.
“Wait, wait, wait-” Bennett fluttered, small peaks of laughter coming out every now and then before he shook his head and looked up at Razor. He looked quite confused.
“Okay, don’t get me wrong. I loved that. But!” Bennett exclaimed, sitting up. “I just remembered that I said we’d try a different position.”
Razor titled his head in confusion. “This is different position.”
“Well yeah, but I mean a different position. Where I’m the leader this time.”
Razor still looked confused, so Bennett just sighed and nudged for him to get off.
“Okay now lay down and spread your legs,” Bennett said seriously. Razor obliged, putting his arms in the same position Bennett did, behind his head.
“No, no. Put your arms down. Just give me a second.”
Bennett slid himself in between Razor’s legs, chest to chest with him before lightly commanding Razor to lift his head and slotting his arms behind him. Razor’s head fell back a little bit, so Bennett shifted his arm for Razor’s head to tilt slightly forward, looking towards him.
“Okay. Is this okay?”
“Yes.”
“Okay,” Bennett breathed. “I’m going to try something.”
Razor only stared.
Bennett leaned in closer. “There’s this thing in kissing,” he started. “Using tongues.”
“Okay.”
“So first, I’d probably… poke you with it. That sounds really weird. Just…” Bennett caressed his cheek. “Trust me, okay?”
Razor let out a breath, nodding.
“Okay. You um… You know how your lupical lick each other sometimes?”
Razor’s eyebrows furrowed, concentrated on his words. He made a noise of affirmation.
“It’s like that but not with lupical. And… and we’d do that but in each other's mouth.”
Razor’s eyes widened, as if he’s frozen in place. Bennett laughed nervously, averting his gaze to the tree nearby. He could practically hear the pounding of Razor’s heart.
“Okay.”
Bennett turned his head to look at Razor. “Huh?”
“Trust Bennett.”
Bennett merely stared. Razor wanted to do this? Even though Bennett had no experience himself? He really-
“Bennett. Too many thoughts.”
Bennett failed to suppress an oncoming smile. He ran a finger down Razor’s nose and across his bottom lip. “You’re right.” Bennett pressed down against Razor. “Close your eyes.”
Razor hummed and closed his eyes, waiting.
Cute.
Bennett closed his eyes as well, slotting his bottom lip in between Razor’s and kissing the top of his lip. Razor kissed back.
You can do this.
They kissed for a while, Bennett not able to build the courage up to do what he intended. That was, until. he felt something significantly more wet than their lips poke at the side of his mouth.
And again.
If he can do it, you can do it.
Bennett parted his lips wider and before Razor got the chance, Bennett slipped his tongue into his mouth.
Oh my god, I’m actually doing this.
Bennett felt the side of Razor’s own tongue, and twirled around it. It felt… soft. And quite nice.
Bennett repeated the motion again, getting used to the sensation. It was like the touch of Noelle’s fluffy pancakes upon his lips, including the syrup. Razor followed his lead, movements hesitating here and there.
Bennett began to kiss deeper; his palm slid behind Razor’s head propped up on his arm to pull him closer. Razor’s hands made their way onto Bennett’s back, nails lightly scratching his skin through his shirt.
Bennett pulled back from him, letting out a small gasp for a breath of air. A string of saliva connected their parted lips; one end leading to Razor in a dream-like haze and the other end to a very flushed Bennett.
“Again.”
Bennett stared at his friend below him, trying to process his words.
Again?
“Again.”
“What- Razor, this is for practice!”
Razor shook his head. “Bennett nice lips. Trust Bennett. Don’t want to kiss other than Bennett.”
Bennett’s face burned, his hands flying to obscure his face.
Was that a confession?
Bennett felt hands on his, tugging them from his face. Razor stared up at him.
“Bennett lupical. But… Bennett special.”
Bennett softly grinned.
“Razor is special to Bennett, too.”