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Giyuu often found himself drowning. Although maybe that wasn't the right word. Most people thought drowning to be painful, water filled your lungs and left no room for air. It pressed on you and kept you within it's waves with no way to escape when you couldn't even tell up from down.
But when you breathe water, it filling your lungs was a welcome thing. The pressure from all sides was a comforting thing, like a baby being swaddled in blankets. And the disorientation was a small price to pay when knowing meant remembering, and remembering meant pain.
When Giyuu drowned inside the vast depths of a calm blue ocean in his mind, he felt safe. He felt not much if anything at all. No love, no pain, no anger, no fear could reach him when the rushing white noise of the waves consumed his senses and dulled his mind. The duller his mind, the sharper his blade. The sharper his blade, the more demons he could kill.
He was well aware of the side effects of pushing everything out to make way for the blue. Blood was lost to his veins and he became cold as they filled with water. There was no room for relationships when he was held so snug by the ocean. People looked to him for guidance that he couldn't provide when he wasn't even sure which direction he was facing.
He wasn't suited to a leadership position, one of many reasons he would've made a much better Pillar than Giyuu. But he was dead and gone, so someone else would have to do. Tanjiro was a promising choice, filled with passion and light. He was a mini sun with the way he lit up the hearts of everyone he touched, sparking passion and fire within them. His rays had even managed to reach Giyuu that fateful day as he begged for his sister's life.
The ocean was unyielding and swallowed light normally, but Tanjiro managed to breach the darkness with some help from another sun, one wrapped around his right shoulder at all times. She'd been his whole world right up until she'd protected him to the bitter end. And Tanjiro reminded him of her so much it hurt. The burn of passion within his chest scorched him and turned some of his precious water to steam.
After sending Tanjiro and Nezuko off to his teacher, he tried to prevent that from happening again as best he could, but the sun seemed to be even more powerful than the endless blue in his mind. And it burned his skin when it reached him. It was feeling, bright and intense, and all to much for a man who'd gone so many years without.
Tanjiro was a fire in the sky, but he was also the best shot Giyuu had at a successor. In an ocean, the sun and the waves weren't friends, but in a pond, or maybe a joyful little river, the sun could reach to the bottom and bounce right back up, creating something better and warmer than it had been before. Tanjiro could be that, and Giyuu could finally let the waves carry him off to their deepest depths. Down where the monsters dwelt, down where he'd be swallowed whole. Down where he would truly drown.