Work Text:
[POV: Uzi]
We were... worker drones. Autonomous robots helping humans mine exoplanets for our interstellar parent company, J.C. Jenson in spaaaaacee!!!! Yeah, we were mistreated in the name of Windex but it's not like we revolted and killed all humans or anything. Mostly because they handled that just fine all by themselves.
With biological life wiped from the planet, we found it pretty easy to pick up where they left off. We finally had a future... all to ourselves.
Unfortunately, our parent company didn't exactly love the concept of runaway AI.
"Hey, shitface! Can you like kill yourself and throw your head over here? I'm kinda overheating at the moment!"
So, they sent disassembly drones, designed specifically to, well, kill us. Hands made of knives, wings made of knives and armed to the teeth with the latest advancements of military-grade weaponry, they were very good at their job. Like, just today, I saw about 6 bots get killed and that was on accident!
"Hey! Didn't you hear what I said?! I'm calling you, asswipe!"
Worse was their nanite acid. Those things apparently eat through everything and they hurt like robot hell! I would know; I got stabbed in the hand with them. Thankfully, the same bot that stabbed me also had the neutralizer which so happened to be his saliva. It was super gross and I can't apparently delete that from my hard drive.
"Are you malfunctioning or something? Or are you stupidly programmed? J.C. Jenson, you're the dumbest worker drone I've ever seen. And I've eaten a lot of them."
The bot that stabbed me? That's N, a disassembly drone. He's... nice. Murderous and also the same person that killed the 6 bots from before, but nice. His teammates didn't respect him at all and I kinda fuelled him with some ideas of rebellion! He nearly got killed because of it but he also helped wipe out hundreds of worker drones so I'd say it was even.
"One time, I even fed this dumbass worker drone his own innards. Best part? Right in front of his own family. It was priceless and I didn't even eat them! HAH! I'd do the same to you but considering your family bullshit, I feel like I'd be doing a favour. So, fuck that."
With his help and my magnetically-amplified photon converger a.k.a. sick as hell railgun, we beat the crap out of his teammates. I even shot the leader and disassembled her torso! She was a dick so totally worth it. But my dad... I can't believe that he did that, y'know? Like, I get that he doesn't respect me as much as I want but what he did was so... not cool.
So that brings us to the present! I, Uzi, a self-exiled teenage worker drone, am now out in the harsh and dead world, living under a spire of corpses. Usually, that's a death sentence - not like we give any - but I've got a feeling I'll live. After all, I've got my currently best and only friend by my side, N!
"You know what? Fuck you!"
Sigh... and her apparently.
"Will you shut up already?!"
The drone in question, Serial Designation V, raised a pixelated brow. "Oh, I would but too bad for me, I'm currently starving and you're out there, monologuing your life like an angsty teen."
"I AM AN ANGSTY TEEN!" I shouted at her, followed with a sigh. "Why am I stuck with you again?"
"Probably because you'd just trip over a rock and die or something. Oh, but if you're going to do that, could you do it right next to me? I like my oil fresh." She said, before laughing psychotically.
I couldn't help but sigh again. "You know, I've always wondered why you guys go around killing us. I thought it was just because you were all monsters-"
"Oh, we are."
"-but then N told me that you need to drink our 'blood' to survive. Something about overheating which, by the way, sounds like a huge design flaw." I exclaimed to her. "So it's either you kill us or you just die. Which is pretty much expected of our parent company."
She scoffed. "Pft, I don't see an issue with that. Unlike weak knees N, I actually enjoy the murderfest."
What the frobo did she just say? "You enjoy killing my friends and neighbours?"
She then shows a sickeningly toothy smile. "Yep. I especially love it when they scream."
...
...
She's fucking insane. Why is N head-over-heels for her? Maybe I could blast her in the head and give her amnesia. That somewhat worked on N last time.
"Hey, you two! I'm back!" A voice from above announced himself.
Speaking of the devil, he's finally back from his 'hunt', floating down gracefully like a non-psychotic angel. I said that with fingers because even though he needs to kill to survive, I'd rather not have him do what this crazy broad's already doing. Plus, there's like a lot of oil from the surrounding corpses so...
"I managed to scrounge up some oil from the leftover drones and they seem edible. I even tasted them myself." N said, dropping a handful of decapitated drones by my feet.
Oh Jenson, I'm gonna be sick.
Meanwhile, N grabbed a few of them and dragged them over to his crush, V. With her being a crazy bloodthirsty killing machine, we can't exactly have her run around free to dissect anyone that looked at her funny. So, keeping her tied up by her own tail was the best option. She might be insane but she's not insane enough to rip her own limbs off.
"Say 'ahh'~" N said, pouring the blood onto her. Much to his surprise, V chose to scream instead.
"BBBBLGRLGLRGLR!!! AAAAHHHHHH!!! GET THAT FILTHY GUNK OUT OF MY MOUTH!"
"Come on, V. You gotta eat. The oil's not that bad."
V spat the black liquid at his cheek. "FUCK YOU, IT'S DISGUSTING! I'D RATHER DIE!"
N frowned. "V..."
Sigh, of course she's being problematic. And N would never force it down her throat. He's too lovey-dovey for her. Guess that means I got to help.
"Here, let me try." I said, grabbing the cold lifeless mechanical body from him. Ugh, no matter how many deaths I saw today, it's never gonna get old.
"GET AWAY FROM ME!" V shrieked, flipping herself over and crawling away like a worm. She looked so pathetic like this, it's honestly a surprise why I was even afraid of her, to begin with. But she did manage to crawl a good few metres before getting tired and shouting swears again. "DON'T TOUCH ME, YOU SHITS!"
You heard it once, you've heard it all. And I think I've heard just about too much. "Seriously, what is it gonna get to make you eat?"
She flipped herself onto her back, no longer wanting to crawl. "I don't know. What if you ate the oil yourself? Maybe that'll convince me..." She sarcastically said with a cruel sadistic smile.
Ugh, and here I thought she couldn't get any worse. Worker drones like myself don't need to eat; we just charge up from our stations and those are powered via deep geothermal vents and biofuel reactors. Due to our longetivity, we can go for days without needing to recharge, not that it was recommended. Damaging our internal batteries was such a pain.
But the more I look at this body, the... hungrier... I get. That's not a familiar feeling.
And on that note, V apparently noticed. She raised her pixelated brow and after some processing, laughed. "Oh my Jenson, you were actually thinking about it? That's gross as hell, hahahaha!" She cackled mockingly. I couldn't help but stare in horror at the body. Oh lord, was I really thinking about it? "Tell you what? If you actually do it, I won't complain about this shit ever again."
N looked at me with concern. "Uzi, you don't have to do it. I'll just get V to eat it. Somehow..."
The murder drone blew a raspberry. "Bfft, as if! I'll bite your face off if you try."
I looked at the corpse, its blood staining my fingers. It's just a body. It's just a body.
"I-I'll do it." I hesitantly said. "L-like, how b-bad could it be, r-right?"
V gave a smug look. "Ah, loss of innocence. J would've loved to see this. Too bad you blew her up to pieces. But yeah, go ahead. One full gulp." She then grinned widely. "Show me your guts."
Okay... Just one full gulp. Only one. No more, no less.
How did they do it again? They basically just sucked the oil from any opening, right? And this is a headless corpse, so the biggest opening was the neck, still leaking blood. So, I just gotta put the whole neck into my mouth and suck it like a straw... I think...
Wait, no, that's not right. Suck it like a straw? What was I thinking? Just suck it like normal, you weirdo!
Slowly, I bared my teeth and neared my mouth to the cold lifeless oil.
...
...
...
[POV: Serial Designation N]
She really didn't have to do this. She's just a worker drone. A fairly skilled and rebellious worker drone but a worker drone nonetheless. Her body wasn't designed to ingest oil like ours were. She'd just get sick, that was if bots could get sick. Maybe it'll gunk up her circuitry or worse.
V just had to push her like this. Classic V, being all crazy cool like that. Wait, no, no! I wasn't supposed to compliment her! This was a bad thing! Curse these very confusing emotions!
Well, at least she's way more talkative to me than usual. So that's a win! Think of the positives, N! No more J calling you a failure and no more V ignoring you - now she just hates you. Being an angsty rebellious teen was great!
...
...
"Oh wow, she's really going to town with that thing, huh?" V exclaimed, watching Uzi silently nibble on the body.
That's concerning. "Yeah, she is..." Something's not right. It was only one gulp, so why was this taking so long? Walking up to her, I place my hand on her shoulder. "Hey, Uzi? Are you alright?"
As she lifted her face from the body, I saw the blood drip from her chin. Slowly, she turned and faced me. From cheek to cheek, her mouth was stained with oil and to top it off, I'm pretty sure this was already more than a gulp.
Also, her visor had the familiar yellow X mark that we disassembly drones do when we're out hunting. So that's neat.
... Wait, no, that's the opposite of neat!
"What. The. Fuck." Behind me, V cussed.
Without warning, Uzi leapt towards us on all fours like an animal. While both me and V successfully dodged, Uzi did not relent that easily. Latching herself onto the space shuttle, she began crawling her way around and to the top before surveying her surroundings. This was definitely hunting mode.
V gawked at the feral Uzi. "What the heck is wrong with her?!"
"I-I don't know but I'll find out!" I stated, running to beside the shuttle. "Uzi, get down from there! You're gonna hurt yourself!"
Uzi did not respond. Something was definitely wrong.
Continuing her survey, she finally seemed to have noticed me and cracked open a malicious smile. DId Uzi have teeth before this? Because if she didn't, she has it now, all sharp and pointy!
V turned to me with a worried look. Oh, she actually purposely looked at me and with an unfamiliar expression. This was a new feeling.
"N, GET OUT OF THE WAY!"
"Huh?"
Suddenly, Uzi jumped off of the shuttle and shot after me like a missile. Crashing her dome at my stomach, we both ended up flying backwards, burrowing ourselves into the dirt. And before I realized it, Uzi dove her head to my shoulder and bit me! HARD!
Look, she's nice but I kinda have a crush on someone else at the moment.
"ARGH!" I screamed, her fangs digging deep into my chassis. Us disassembly drones were made to be durable to handle all sorts of weather and other environmental factors. The exception was sunlight because we tend to overheat very easily. The fact that Uzi could bite me till I bled was kinda worrisome and by 'kinda', I meant 'very'! "U-Uzi! Snap out of it!"
Ugh, and I'm feeling... weaker? Why am I feeling weaker? I just had my fill an hour ago. Was she... drinking my oil?
If I don't get her off, then it'll be a bigger problem. "Sorry about this, Uzi!"
Baring my wings, I catapulted upwards into the stratosphere with Uzi holding onto me tight. She's not going to let go that easily, so I had to make it hard for her to hold on. Just as I reached above the clouds, I immediately dived down at subsonic speeds. Gradually, I could feel her grip loosening and while aiming for the spire, we crashed through the room and just before hitting the ground, I turned upwards, letting momentum do its work.
The G-forces being too much, Uzi was ripped off of me and into the concrete below, sending clouds of dust all over. With her teeth no longer in my shoulder, the automatic repairs activated and the injury quickly disappeared, thanks to our built-in nanites.
Mmm, but I still felt... tired... Too tired...
...
...
Oh, hello, Mr. Ground. How are you doing today?
[POV: Serial Designation V]
Ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck
"N! Are you alive?! You have to tell me if you're alive!" I shouted, hoping for some response. But none whatsoever, typical of him.
Oh, where was I? Oh yeah, the whole internal swearing thing.
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
...
...
Okay, that's pretty much out of my system for the next hour. Now, back on track. What the fuck just happened?!
Angsty teenager PP-2000 here went to drink some oil. You know, just normal biz. But then she started glowing yellow eyes and attacked N, even going as far as to pierce his body. We're disassembly drones! We don't get pierced that easily, especially from a worker drone! We could eat a missile in the face and not get a scratch!
But she did. Bit him and everything. He shook her off but from the looks of it, he's definitely down for the count. Which left me all alone, tied up by my own tail, with the crazy worker drone just inches away in a crater a tenth of the size of J's ego. Unconfirmed kill at that.
Usually, I'm not afraid of death but I was expecting something more explosive and gory, not having my innards ripped out and fed to me.
Oh my Jenson, was this how that worker drone felt? Now I just felt bad. Well, almost.
"V-V-V?" N stuttered, looking worse for wear.
I gasped. "N! You're still alive! Can't believe I'm saying this but thank our company overlords! How are you feeling?"
"S-S-Su-p-p-per." He replied with a thumbs up, glitching out. "I'm j-j-just running low, that's a-a-a-all."
"Well, go grab one of these corpses and fuel up! I can't have you dying and leaving me tied up like this!"
"R-R-Righty-o-o-o! J-Just give me a m-m-m-minute." He said, before his hand flopped down pathetically. N then proceeded to do absolutely nothing since, either because he's actually dead or just lazy.
Definitely lazy. "Fucking hell, do I have to do everything myself?!"
Serial Designation V, saving the day. This was definitely not anything the simulations trained me for. I was just a bad-ass killing machine, not a life-saver. Saving lives was like a negative on the whole kill count, and I was racking up pretty good points! Like, I got second place on the number of murders back in the lab.
Fucking K, being the kiss-ass he was.
Seeing as I'm currently stuck and surrounded by two fresh bodies, I'd rather not overheat and melt from the inside. Biting my lip, I stretched my arms out.
Ooo, this was going to hurt...
...
...
"FUUUUUCK!"
[POV: Uzi]
Blegh, my head... W-what just happened? Ugh, everything hurts so bad... Maybe I just need to recharge...
...
...
Why can't I move?
Reactivating my visors, I began looking around to get a feel of my surroundings. I was still inside the spire of corpses, thankfully. Though, that doesn't explain why I couldn't move my arms. Looking down, I finally saw the issue; they were tied up using the disembodied limbs of other worker drones.
Oh god, I'm gonna be sick again.
"Oh, hey! You're awake!" A familiar voice called out to me. Tilting my head to the side, I saw N walk closer, though I noticed a certain hesitance in his steps. He seemed nervous for some reason. "H-how are you feeling, bud? Getting any murdery vibes lately?"
I raised a brow, perplexed by his odd question. "Not sure what you're going about but... no?"
N gave out a sigh of relief. "Oh good! For a second, I was kinda worried. Here, let me get these arms off of you."
"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE, N! YOU'RE LUCKY I DIDN'T RIP HER LIMBS OFF!"
Oh joy, she's here. And she's... she's not restrained?!
"N-N! She's not tied up! Why is she not tied up?!" I shrieked, seeing her walk about freely like a swallow.
N scratched the back of his head, chuckling nervously. "O-oh, that? Well, you see, a lot of things happened in the past few hours..."
I stared at him as realization hit me; N was betraying me. There was no other possibility. The one true friend that I got in this wasteland was going to eat me with his girlfriend. They're going to drink my fluids from my headpiece like a large cocktail. They're going to twirl happily with my wires and play jumping ropes with them.
All this after I left the colony of my own free will. How could I have been so blind?
Gradually, tears began to form in my visor. Pixelated animated tears, not real ones.
"You're... betraying me?"
N's eyes widened in shock. "NO! Nononono, nothing like that! The restraints are for your safety!"
My mouth began to quiver. "My safety? What do you mean 'my safety'?!"
"Well, uh, it's a bit... hard to explain."
"Ugh, let me do it!" V said, pushing N away and taking his place. "You were trying to kill us."
... What? "What?"
"I mean, you would've failed spectacularly but you did dent N pretty hard. He was about to shut down if it weren't for me." V explained, before glaring at me. "No thanks to you, by the way."
What the fuck? "Woah, woah, woah! Back up a bit! What do you mean I was trying to kill you?! That doesn't make any sense!"
V frowned. "Oh, you think that doesn't make any sense? I SAW THE WHOLE DAMN THING! Usually, I don't feel anything. It helps with the murdering but right then? You know what I felt back then? Fear. I was fucking terrified!" She yelled in a very not-V sorta way. Her voice sounded genuine too which honestly, made it worse. "So you're going to stay wrapped up in those limbs until we figure out what to do with you."
"Which doesn't involve killing or maiming you, by the way! I made that explicitly clear to V." N chimed in before being pushed away by V again.
V grumbled. "Unfortunately..."
I was... trying to kill them? B-but how? How would that work?! Sure, I got my sick-ass railgun and my sweet kung-fu moves, but there's no way I could've beaten two murder drones on my own. I barely won against their leader and as much of an ego I have, even I had to admit it was mostly luck. Twintails (or Serial Designation J, as they'd call her) would've diced me into ribbons if she had the chance.
"This doesn't make any sense..." I whispered, shocked by the revelation.
V rolled her eyes and scoffed. "Yeah? Well, get in line. We're all confused as shit right now. Maybe when reinforcements arrive, then we'll figure it out."
Wait, reinforcements?
"THERE'S MORE OF YOU?!"
"Of course there's more of us! You think we're the only 3 disassembly drones in this sector of the galaxy? The universe is a big place!"
"B-But how? How would they know to send reinforcements?!"
"Oh that's because you killed J." N answered. "You see, we have distress beacons built into us. So if any of us dies or is extensively damaged, we automatically send out a signal to any nearby disassembly squad. So that's at least 3 new disassembly drones on the way!" He said gleefully. Though, after seeing my horrified face, his smile instantly went poof. "Oh, that's a bad thing."
"N, untie me right now."
V, her eyes widened, glared at the boy. "Don't you fucking dare, N."
"N, as your best friend and rebellious mentor, I order you to untie me."
"SCREW THAT! I KNEW HIM FOR YEARS, EVEN BEFORE YOUR PARTS WERE MANUFACTURED!" V yelled at me, then shifting her attention back to N. "Don't you do it!"
I gawked at her. Oh, so she was playing that game, huh? "'Knew him?' You didn't even know his name until yesterday! I bet you don't even know my name."
V scoffed. "Sure I do."
"Oh yeah? Prove it. Say it, right now."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"... Well? I'm waiting."
"S-shut up! Give me a bit, okay?!"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"... It's..." V drawled out. "Ux... xie?"
If my hands were free right now, I would've done a facepalm.
"L-look, it doesn't matter what your name is! What matters is that you stay right there and away from everyone else. Nobody wants you to go on another rampage." V explained. "The next thing we need is a disassembly drone killer on the loose."
"Too late. Hands' free." I said to her, showing my unshackled arms to her. V gawked at me, only then noticing N behind me, having undone the restraints.
"N!"
"S-sorry! But she looked so uncomfortable!" N meekly argued, much to her dismay. "But she's not crazy at the moment, so it's fine." He then turned his gaze towards me, fiddling nervously. "You're not going to eat our blood while we sleep, right?"
I chuckled. "Probably not. But if I do..." I said, glancing at the only other murder drone around. "I'll make sure it's not you first."
V heard that. Oh, she definitely heard that. And she did not look happy about it. "UGH, YOU TWO ARE INSANE! AND I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE CRAZY ONE!"
Yep, this could work. At least now I have a way of controlling her. She'd act as a good bullet shield once we find a way off this planet to kill the humans. If she's anything like N described her to be, then even that wouldn't be enough to kill her.
...
...
Huh, did my visor turn yellow for a moment?