Chapter Text
“This just in,” Roxanne Featherly’s voice blared from the TV, “Duckburg's second richest, and arguably the most controversial, citizen, Flintheart Glomgold just came from an expedition to Siberia. He was searching for the Golden Comb of Duchess Catsandra. He is going to be with us right after these messages!” As her face was replaced by a Pep! commercial Dewey and Louie turned towards their great uncle.
It was a sunny Thursday; a week has passed since their scuffle with the alchemist cult and they were still convalescing. They sat in the den with uncle Scrooge, who was gripping the armrests of his armchair so tightly, they were afraid he might rip into them.
“How in the world did that, that, malignant mold-monger find that comb!” Scrooge growled, “I’ve been looking for it for years, followed trails, looked for any clues for its whereabouts! I’ve researched the life of the Duchess Catsandra, looked for every piece of writing in every nook and cranny of the national library, pestered Quackfaster about it to the point she threatened to resign, and combed the entire Siberian Forest looking for it!”
Louie opened a can of pep, took a sip, and asked, “Pun intended?”
“Lad now is not time for puns!”
Louie shrugged his shoulders and turned back to the screen.
“And we’re back,” Roxanne’s face returned to the screen, “Here we have Flintheart Glomgold who has just returned from his journey” Glomgold stood next to her, looking extremely pleased with himself and holding a fancy golden comb decorated with gems. “Mr. Glomgold, can you tell us how exactly you managed to find the artifact that has evaded explorers for decades?”
“Well, Roxanne, I would love to, but I can’t! I have a secret weapon, you see,” He winked to the camera and Louie shivered, “And no, despite what you might think it is not my extraordinary strength or near-superhuman intellect. I mean those helped, of course, no way I would’ve survived if I weren’t the most strongest duck in Duckburg. But no. It’s something much more secret that I can’t tell you!”
Roxanne looked completely unimpressed. After years of working in Duckburg as a reporter, she was used to things like this. In fact, this didn’t even crack the top ten of the List of the weirdest things I had to report on this month she kept, “Ok, can you tell us a bit more about the artifact itself?” she asked calmly, “I know the basics, it belonged to Catsandra, the Duchess of Catsemburg. However, it got lost during her travels in Siberia, never to be found again. While the comb isn’t a particularly interesting item, it is valuable, and it became infamous for how easily it evaded even the most experienced explorers, like our own Scrooge McDuck!” Uncle Scrooge let out a low growl and said something rather unflattering regarding Roxanne. Something uncle Donald would probably deem inappropriate for the boys’ ears. Or anyone else’s ears.
“You are right Roxanne! I found it, me, Flintheart Glomgold! I figured out the perfect scheme to find something that Scrooge McDuck couldn’t! Just know that this is the real thing. Look, shiny!” he started waving the comb in front of the camera, much to Scrooge’s horror and Louie’s discomfort. Ever Roxanne’s demeanour showed momentary uneasiness.
The comb looked fragile, some of the gemstones seemed to be barely holding on to it. It wasn’t something that should be handled like a baby’s rattle.
“Um, Mr. Glomgold, are you sure that is the right way to treat a valuable, historical artifact, we are at the docks, after all, you wouldn’t want to drop it into the water,” Roxanne said resuming a very professional smile but her eyes still screamed I do not get paid enough for this crap.
“I’ll do with my property as I please Roxanne!” Glomgold said, pulling the comb closer to his chest “This thing is mine now, mine! And I know from a very confidential source that Scrooge McDuck has been looking for this for decades now!”
Roxanne gave him an unamused look “Sir, I don’t think that the information is as confidential as you say since Mr. McDuck, as well as many others, has been very open about-“
“See Scroogie!” Glomgold ignored the reporter entirely, pushing in front of her and practically breathing into the camera. “The thing you looked for, for a decent chunk of your life! Now in my hands! Mwahahahaha! I’m a better explorer than you, Scroogie! A better explorer! And now, I can look for bigger things than this comb! Like The Secret Treasure of Silver Beak! Or The Golden Chain of General Gilbert Goose. Or even The Holy Grail! Mwahahahaha! Mwahahahaha!”
“Carl, turn the camera off! Just go to commercials! Go to the commercials!” they heard Roxanne’s desperate words and the screen turned black for a second, followed by a commercial for the Ottoman Empire rerun.
Louie blinked lazily. Was he even surprised? No.
He turned to his great-uncle, who looked utterly livid.
“Um, Uncle Scrooge, you all right?” Dewey asked.
“That cocky cockylorum! Calling me an inferior explorer! Me! On public television! That comb is probably fake, anyways! I’ll prove it to him! To the entire city!”
“Ok, first off, we both know, the comb is real, did you see the cut on those gemstones?” Louie got an annoyed look from Scrooge.
“Um, yeah, right,” he continued nervously. Why did I think it would be a good idea to point that out, he thought but kept on explaining his theory, “secondly, everyone and their mother knows you are the superior explorer! He literally admitted, on TV, that he needed ‘a secret weapon’ to get it! He probably just got someone to find it for him, with magic or skill or something!”
“And it’s not me this time,” Goldie suddenly appeared behind the sofa the boys sat on. She was still staying at the manor, much to everyone’s, including her own, surprise. You would think that everyone would get used to her presence after a week, but while she was not unwelcomed, it was still strange to see her casually spending time there.
“Goldie!” Scrooge turned to her, “did you see this? He has the gal…”
“To call you an inferior explorer, yeah, we get it Scroogie, your ego is bruised,”
“My ego is nae bruised…”
Goldie perched herself on one of Scrooge’s armrests and exchanged a conspiratorial look with the boys, “Look, I’m not happy he found it either. Of all my rivals him finding it stings the most! If only it was someone…capable!”
“Wait,” Dewey cut in, “you looked for the comb as well?”
“Well of course I did! It’s gold, isn’t it!”
“And, did you end up fighting some bad guys for it? Wrestle bears? Run through the frozen woods while an angry mob chases you?”
“No! I ended up on a long, tiresome journey, nearly froze twice only to end up at an inn at the most boring Russian village there is,” Goldie replied. “Worst search ever.”
“Three months???” Dewey’s eyes bulged out, “WOW! I always had a feeling that adventures are like, three-five days, a week may!”
“Pfft,” Goldie snorted, “Than your uncle hasn’t taken you on an expedition to truly test your grit, kid.”
“Ohh, can we go on one, please, pretty please?” Dewey looked between the two elders, his hands pressed together in pleading.
“Yeah, count me out on that one,” Louie said, “Three weeks in the wilderness…sounds like absolute hell!”
“We’d live off the hunt, collect berries, return to nature!”
Louie looked at his brother, “Yeah, take Huey and Webs with you and go enjoy yourselves. I’m staying here, where it is comfortable!”
“Slow down lads,” scrooge cut in, “We’re not going on any long expedition. Firstly, because that is not good for your still growing bodies! Secondly, neither your uncle nor your mother are likely to agree with it. Thirdly, it’s school year and I still haven’t seen you finish the assignments Beakley gave you. And fourthly, we have more pressing matters to attend to. Discovering how Glomgold managed to get that comb!”
“A lucky shot?” Dewey guessed.
“Perhaps…but I still assume he got someone to help him. And if it wasn’t you,” he looked at Goldie, “then who?”
“Wow, Scroogie, I’m offended,” she theatrically put her hand to her chest, “that you would even consider that I would join him…”
Scrooge looked up at her, disgruntled but blushing “Oh come off it, we both you are, or at least were, more than willing to work with Glomgold to get under my skin!”
She swatted at him, nearly pushing him off the armchair, “Oh don’t flatter yourself. I do it to get what I want, not everything is about you,” she said, “but this time, it’s not me. You think I would allow him to rub into your face, and not do it myself to both of you?”
“I thought you would do it to get what you want, not to mess with me,” Scrooge smirked at her wryly.
“Well, what if I told you that I want both of you annoyed and messed with,” Goldie chuckled. “Trust me, I’m currently just as annoyed at you. Besides, do you really think I would leave him with the real thing”
“Let me guess,” Louie said, sipping on Pep!, “you would leave him with a fake, convincing him it was real, and leaving you to ponder where the real thing is only to get to the logical conclusion that she has it so that she can rub it into both of their faces?” he said with a smug expression.
“See, Sharpie gets it,” Goldie said approvingly while Dewey stared at his brother, his mouth agape.
Scrooge looked at his great-nephew, mildly taken aback, “Lad, I don’t know whether I should be impressed you figured that out or terrified you know how exactly this woman’s brain works.” He ended up saying.
“Hey, who are you dismissively calling this woman!” Goldie swatted at him.
Scrooge ignored her remark, “Up to discover a mystery, Goldie?”
“You bet I am!”
“Well then, I’m off to the bin to do some research! That man needs to be stopped before he gets hands on something more dangerous than a comb! Could use a few more heads?” He looked between the three.
“Might as well," Goldie got up from her position on the armrest, "nothing better to do around here. Besides, who knows what you keep in that bin of yours, something valuable…”
“Keep your grimy hands off my property, woman!”
“Hey, I thought you wanted my help. I might just go and steal that comb from Glomgold and call it a day,”
Scrooge rolled his eyes at her and she laughed.
“I’m kidding, sourdough! Mostly!” Goldie said.
Scrooge shook his head, although, he had to admit, he didn't hate the idea, “Up to do some research to find out how he did it, lads?” he turned to the boys.
“Pass,” Louie said, “I want to catch a few more minutes of TV before Beakley finds me and makes me do homework!”
“Yeah and I’m busy later today,” Dewey said, non-committaly, suddenly focused on the screen.
Scrooge muttered something about the modern-day youth, “Well then, it’s just the two of us this time,” he said to Goldie. “Unless we find Webbigail and her friends at the archives combing through old parchments.”
“Doubt it, I think I saw Pink Bow having a spear-throwing training with Penumbra," Goldie said, "Well be truly alone in the library."
“After you,” Scrooge let her exit the den first, ignoring Goldie's alone time implications.
“Don’t spend the whole day in front of the television!” he yelled to the boys as he exited the room as well.
“Don’t listen to him, do what you want to!” Goldie shouted over him, “What?” she asked as Scrooge glared at her disapprovingly, “If they all call me aunt I can at least be the cool one that encourages breaking the rules and working against the authority! The aunt who brings chaos and anarchy!”
"Ugh, you are a bad influence," Scrooge commented.
“Hey, you two!” Louie called after the elders. Part of him wanted to join them even as looking through old musty papers was usually not his scene. It would be one way to avoid Beakley and homework. A bigger part of him, the part that was still tired from their last expedition, decided to stay exactly where he was, glued to the sofa cushions. “Just please call in advance when you inevitably find out about some treasure that we are going to look for so I can find a reason not to come with you! Or at least pack some pep with me!” he warned.
He knew how this would go. Scrooge and Goldie would go to the archives and were unlikely to find anything about how Glomgold achieved his goals. But then they would find clues about some cursed object or another, maybe that Secret Treasure of Silver Beak or those Gold Chains of Whoever.
Then Scrooge and Goldie would decide to be stubborn elders and, despite being specifically told to rest for at least two weeks, they would decide they are ready for their next adventure. And then they would all go look for it to prove that Scrooge was indeed, a better explorer than Glomgold.
And, to stop Glomgold from getting to it first and indivertibly destroying the city. With Goldie being there, the entire process would be exacerbated since she would also like to prove she was a better explorer, and she and Scrooge would likely divulge into amicable rivalry.
“So, up for that rerun marathon of Ottoman Empire before we go on an adventure you will adore, and I will hate? Or maybe they will let me stay home…” Dewey didn’t answer.
Louie turned to his brother, whose face was now completely transfixed to the screen.
“Um, Dewey? Dew? Earth to Dewford Duck?” Dewey barely reacted as he waved his hand in front of his face, “Ugh,” Louie groaned. He slid off the couch and walked in front of the TV.
“Hey, uncool!” Dewey said as soon as his view was obstructed, “Louie, move! I can’t see the screen!” he tried readjusting his position on the couch so he could see the screen “What gives, Lou, why are you,” he noticed uncle Scrooge’s empty seat “Where did uncle Scrooge and Goldie go?”
“You were so focused on TV you missed half of the conversation? I mean, I usually get it but what is so interesting about,” he turned his face to the screen, “the new bowling alley at the retirement home?”
Dewey rolled his eyes “I don’t care about old ladies bowling. But today, here, on the news, there should be a segment about Vasco Manuel Capistran. He is in Duckburg this week and he will be having fan hours!”
“Isn’t that the actor Fenton’s mum yammers on and on about every time she visits? Since when are you a fan of Patos de la Pasión?” Louie sat back onto the couch, opening another can of Pep!
“I’m happy to inform you, Lewellyn…”
“Please don’t.”
“…that he is not only an actor in Patos! He is also in Les infortunées! The musical, of course! He plays” Dewey stood on the couch “the best musical theatre character of all times! Corbin Corbeau. Who am I? Who am I? I am Corbin Corbeau!” he sang, taking a dramatic pose at the back of the couch.
“Ugh, stop singing! Anything else this guy is in?”
“Uh-huh!” Dewey said, making a somersault and landing next to his brother “He is in The Arcane Rangers. He plays Louis Blackfeather!”
“Wait, he’s the pilot guy?”
“Yes, how do you not know that!” Dewey threw out his arms “We watched the show together!”
“Yeah, and I didn’t get obsessed with it as you and Huey did!”
“You, my dear brother, have no taste! But, your lack of taste aside, do you want to hear the best part?” his eyes shone with excitement, “He is also a real-life pilot!” Louie just blinked back “Oh, come on! No reaction?”
Louie dragged his hand over his face, “We literally live with two pilots! And our mum is also an astronaut!”
“So? While yes, both mum and LP are the coolest pilots ever, they share the spot, I can still like other pilots! Mr- ”
“And we’re back for the celebrity minute,” came Roxanne’s voice from the TV. Her hair was slightly frazzled, and she wasn’t wearing her blazer. “I apologize for the delay…”
“Shhhhh, here it is!” Dewey practically slapped his brother as Roxanne apologized about the Glomgold incident. Something, Dewey knew, every new member of the media crew in Duckburg was trained to deal with. Even bloggers were giving advice to other bloggers about it. There were entire Tic-Tac-Toe accounts dedicated to the topic.
“…here he is our dear viewers, the man, the legend, Mr. Vasco Manuel Capistran,” she turned to the lean crow with shoulder-length hair “Well, Vasco what brings you to our city?”
“Thank you, Roxane. Well, aside from the interview I have tomorrow, I’m here mostly to spend some leisure time before my next big project. Also, I’m having a fan meet-up today afternoon. More on that on my Tweeter.”
“The newest project? Do you mean the next season of The Arcane Rangers? Or the film in which your character Blackfeather is going to have a much larger role? Can you tell us a bit more about it?”
Vasco chuckled “No, no I can’t. The last time I let a spoiler slip, the directors almost had my head!”
“I’m sure they did,” Roxanne checked her watch, looking annoyed, “Well Vasco I would love to chat, but unfortunately, thanks to a certain billionaire, we have to cut the segment extremely short, to the point where our Celebrity Minute was, quite literally, a minute! Nice meeting you!”
“Nice meeting you too!” Vasco said and Roxanne announced the sports segment of the news.
Dewey squeed in his seat, “I’m. Going. To. Get. That. Autograph! Even if my name wasn’t Dewey Turbo Duck! Ooh, or maybe, I should go as DJ Daft-Duck or maybe-“ his eyes grew wide as he jumped off the sofa, “I will ask him to be a part of Dewey Dew-night! Oh yeah!”
Louie looked unimpressed with the idea, “Yeah, I’m sure he would jump at the opportunity!” he said sarcastically. He considered something for a moment, “You know what, I’m coming with you. But you’re coming as Dewey. Not dressed into your DJ outfit.”
“Wait, since when do you care about Vasco? You didn’t even know he was in the show you watched!”
“I don’t, but he is famous. And famous people are good for networking!” he looked after Dewey who was leaving the den, “Wait, where are you going?”
“To wait in the line at the meet-up!” Dewey rolled his eyes, “He is a super-famous actor, duh! Between Patos fans, musical fans and the Arcanes fans, the place will be packed! Why are you not moving!” He pulled on Louie’s hand.
“What? Come on, we’ll just say we’re nephews of Scrooge McDuck and pass everyone else,” Louie shrugged, pulling his arm from Dewey’s grasp, and sinking further into the couch cushions.
“Nuh-uh, I’m not risking my one chance to get an autograph from an actual celebrity! So, are you coming with me or not?”
“Ugh, fiiiiine!” Louie said
“Also, if we’re not at the manor, Beakley can’t find us and make us do homework!” Dewey pointed out.
“Now you’re speaking my language! Please tell me LP can take us there at least?”
“Nope, he just took Scrooge and Goldie to the archives, and later he is going to St Canard! Come on, race you to the bottom of the hill!”
“You win!” Louie called after his brother as he bolted through the door, not bothering to up his pace. “And we’re taking the bus!”
…..
“Ok, so, do you think I should ask him to be on my talk show before, or after I ask him for an autograph?” Dewey asked. The whole bus ride, he wouldn’t shut up about the idea.
“Again, you seriously think some famous actor is going to join you for the show you do in our room?”
“Well, the episodes have been a bit slow recently and, you know, the guests are…few and far in between, yeah,” Dewey said, “and they are mostly family or family friends, but it doesn’t mean it’ll be a failure. I was on the IT list that one time…” Dewey mumbled, sliding out of his seat as the bus stopped at the station.
Louie shrugged, “Ok, I’m just saying. You gotta give this guy something, you know a reason to work with you. Maybe you can mention you are training to be a pilot too!”
“You think I haven’t already thought of that? Ugh!” He kicked a pebble on the street in frustration.
Dewey was more than aware that his show wasn’t great. He thought he found his thing when he started piloting but, as great as that was, he wanted something else. Just one more thing. It didn’t have to be something out-of-this-world, just something of his own. As Louie pointed out, they already had two pilots in the family.
If he was going to try and impress one of his idols, he wanted to be something fully his! But what could he show off? Sure, he was the tougher than the toughies one, the bold, courageous adventurer but he couldn’t really take the actor on a dangerous, high stakes adventure and show off. Also, his whole family were adventurers!
And then there was the entertainment stuff he did. His show, acting, dancing, performing in general. That was just his! But was he any good at that? Louie didn’t seem to think so. What was he supposed to do? Go perform Who am I? in front of Vasco and utterly embarrass himself? Show a clip of his show which was a complete failure?
Sometimes he felt like the coolest thing about his show was the location it was being filmed at-the McDuck Manor.
Well, it was a pretty cool location...
“Wait a minute!” he got an idea, “If I give him a tour of the manor, he might accept! Ooh! Do you think Uncle Scrooge would let me use the foyer for the interview? Or the bin? Or both!” He was practically bouncing with joy again.
“So, you’re using your great-uncle’s influence after all? Who would’ve thought!” Louie said smugly.
“Yeah, I learned from the best!” Dewey said, bumping Louie on the shoulder. Louie felt a slight pang of guilt. He just put Dewey’s show down and his brother still referred to him as the best. Lost in his thoughts he didn’t notice the crowd in front of him and bumped into someone.
“Oh, sorry I wasn’t looking where I was going,” He looked up, “Wait, Fenton?”
The brown duck turned around, still wearing some healing scratches from the robot apocalypse both brothers managed to miss the previous week, “Oh, hi guys!” he smiled as he recognized the two boys.
“Hi Fenton,” Dewey greeted, “Are you also here to get the autograph from Vasco? Oh, do you like Les Infortunées, or the Arcane Rangers? Or are you a fan of Patos? Something else he was in?”
“I’m a fan of The Arcanes, and while I don’t mind watching Patos, I'm not here on my own behalf.” Fenton said, scratching his neck, “My mum wants his autograph, says his character is the best one in Patos. But she is at work. And now I’m here…in the line, waiting for it!” he seemed fidgety, playing with his tie and tapping his foot, “I’ve been here for half an hour already and the guy hasn’t even arrived. Seriously, I love my mum but of all the favours she could’ve asked me to do, waiting in the line is the one I hate the most! And she insisted I come here early because ‘Pollito, there will be a huge crowd there! And you can’t miss it because you come dead last!
“Wow, your mum and Dewey used the same argument!” Louie said, “Did not expect that!”
“Why not just come, you know, in the suit?” Dewey asked pointedly.
“And how would I explain asking for an autograph for a local detective?” Fenton refuted, “Unfortunately, this is the way to go!”
“Don’t worry,” Louie patted him on the shoulder, “we’re going to try to get in front based on being part of the McDuck family. And you’re with us!”
“I’m not entirely certain I approve of that idea!” Fenton frowned. “It feels unfair to everyone else!”
“You want to stand in one place for the next five hours?” Louie asked.
Fenton thought about it for a second. Standing in the line, in one place, with nothing else to do. His phone battery was dangerously low, and he forgot to take a book with him to read… “Fine! I’m forgoing my principles today! I’m passing myself as a friend of the McDucks. I’ll just tell myself it’s for the sake of my mental health. Because it totally is! I can’t do this for five hours!”
“You don’t have to pass yourself as a friend of McDucks, you are a friend of McDucks!” Louie said, “And McDucks value their friends. Trademark, Louie Duck.”
“What would you be doing if you weren’t here?” Dewey asked.
“I would be at work! And if not that, I don’t know, reading, researching, fighting bad guys, spending time with Gandra, cleaning my room! Anything!” he sounded a bit on edge, “I love m’ma, but I really wish she had a day off today instead of me. Can you believe that she actually called Gyro? She told him she would need me today and he gave me a day off, no further questions asked. In fact, he showed me out of the lab!”
Louie chuckled, “Oh yeah, I’m pretty sure he is terrified of her after the Gizmo cloud incident.” His mood suddenly changed, and he shivered, “I know I am!”
Dewey looked between his unusually tense brother and Fenton, “Seems like you really do need that autograph. Your mum sounds scary!”
“She is!” Louie whispered as if Gloria would suddenly appear behind his back.
“You’re the one to talk! Your mum is utterly terrifying!” Fenton said, “So, you’re here because of…?”
“Oh, well I absolutely adore, Corbin Corbeau! And Blackfeather! Talk about the best character in anything ever!” He bounced with excitement, which got Fenton to smile. Dewey’s joy was contagious.
“Huh, he seems to be getting a lot of fan-favourite roles” Louie noted. Maybe this networking opportunity was even better than he thought.
……
They spend their time there, chatting about the shows. That is, Dewey and Fenton chatted while Louie spent time on his phone, occasionally chiming in. Dewey even at one point performed an entire musical number from the musical, much to Louie’s chagrin but he did seem to entertain Fenton and a few other bystanders, even getting small applause.
As time passed, the crowd of people grew larger. They wondered if there was anyone they knew in the crowd. Louie was feeling generous, he was willing to take their friends or acquaintances with them if anyone was there.
“Oh, look, 20 dollars” the two brothers heard a familiar voice behind them. Turning around they saw a duck in a green suit bending down to take a bill from the ground,
“Uncle Gladstone?” Dewey asked in surprise.
“What Is he doing here?” Louie wondered “And why didn’t he tell anyone he was coming?” That was not the person he expected to see in the crowd. Ty Sabrewing, the musical geek? Sure! Launchpad or Drake because of the superhero show? He was more surprised they weren’t there! But uncle Gladstone? That was a surprise.
Dewey shrugged and mumbled something that vaguely sounded like I don’t know.
“Maybe your uncle is also a fan of Vasco? Or something he is in?” Fenton suggested.
“No way, that guy has magic good luck.” Dewey said, “Literally, it’s magic. Webby told me Phantom Blot used the same thing he used to drain Lena’s magic to drain Gladstone’s. If he wanted the autograph, I don’t know, Vasco would magically appear out of nowhere and a literal red carpet would fall from the sky in between them.” He explained to Fenton. “Should we call him over?
“Go ahead, I’m curious!” Louie said. Wheels started turning in his head.
“Hey, Uncle Gladstone!” Dewey called, waving to him.
“Hey, little Donalds! Also, the guy who was at Webby’s fake party, hi!” Gladstone greeted.
“So, what brings you to Duckburg?” Louie asked, nonchalantly.
“Well, see, one day I was actually at the parking lot, parking my new sports car I won when I found a filled-in lottery ticket and decided to cash it in when suddenly I was approached by this one random guy who told me to follow him!” The whole time he spoke he was completely focused on Fenton’s shirt.
“What guy?” Louie asked.
“Hold on a second Green-bean,” Gladstone said, “You know my friend,” He spoke to Fenton “I really wouldn’t recommend that shirt with that tie. In fact, I wouldn’t recommend that shirt in general. Anyways, where was I?
“What is wrong with my shirt?” Fenton said under his breath.
“Hey, focus, you were telling us why you are here!” Louie drew Gladstone’s attention.
“Oh right,” Gladstone snapped his fingers “I was walking down the street and this guy offered me tickets to get to Duckburg, and he said I would meet someone here who I could help out!” Gladstone finished
“Wait, hold on!” Fenton looked a bit lost, “You followed a shady guy into a strange alleyway? No questions, this wasn’t someone you were expecting to meet? Why?”
“Why not? What’s the worst that could happen?” Gladstone simply shrugged. This only resulted in Fenton looking even more confused and Dewey rolled his eyes.
“So, you just arrived here? To help this strange dude in a hoodie?” Louie said, ignoring the other two.
“Oh no, I’ve been here for a couple of days!” Gladstone said, earning surprised looks from his nephews, “This guy, he knew about this job you see. So now I got that job!” Gladstone said happily, looking positively proud of himself.
Dewey and Louie blinked, both looking somewhat stunned.
“Um, yeah, I might’ve misheard you,” Dewey said, clearing his ears, “You said you got a job?”
“Yeah!”
“You, a job?” Louie asked, his mind still not fully computing.
“Geez, why are you kids so surprised? Did uncle McMoneybags and Donald tell you I’m sooo lazy I could never get one?”
“Well…” Dewey said, trying to figure out what to say.
“You literally described yourself as the best at getting something out of nothing!” Louie said bluntly.
“And I thought you liked it about me, I thought that was your own philosophy”
Louie shrugged, “Eh, I learned that usually comes with a curse. Or a crazy robot. Or an angry swarm of harpies. Totally not worth it!”
Gladstone looked at him, slightly concerned “You know what, I’m not even going to ask!” He said “But see, that is what hanging with just Don and Scrooge gets you! Harpies, angry robots! If you were like me, you wouldn’t have to deal with all that!”
“Yeah, if they were like you, they would apparently follow shady guys into small alleyways!” Fenton said.
“Who are you again?” Gladstone asked, “And why are you so hung up on the guy in a hoodie bit? Green-bean wears a hoodie and you don’t seem to mind him! And I ended up with a nice job!”
“Who are you even working for?” Dewey asked, “Also, that is Fenton, he works in Uncle Scrooge’s lab!”
“Oooff, sorry, little D-man, can’t tell you, that’s classified!”
“Ok, now that sounds shady as hell!” Louie said, “And trust me, I know shady!”
“I mean I could tell you I’m working for an incredibly rich individual who needs my special set of skills, and I don’t really have to do much! Living the luxury at the Augorix, in VIP suite! But that’s about it. I can’t share the details of my job.”
“Your current employee is paying you for a VIP suite at Augorix???” Fenton stared at him.
“No, of course not, that would be preposterous," Gladstone laughed, "Can you believe this guy?" He asked Louie, "No, no. They told me to get a place to stay, so I came to Duckburg, looked for a newspaper to find ads, that’s how you do it, right? So, while I was in the line at the kiosk, I overheard this very nice older couple. They were on vacation and had paid for a week in the hotel when their daughter called to tell them she is having an impromptu wedding. So, since they couldn’t get a refund and they didn’t want their reservation to go to waste and they allowed me to stay at the hotel instead of them!”
Fenton just blinked in surprise, “That is…quite a stroke of luck!”
“Isn’t it?” Gladstone grinned enthusiastically.
“Whoa, whoa, back-up,” Louie interjected, “What kind of contract did you sign?” Louie asked. The only person who was not in a spy agency or doing some kind of shady work and was not supposed to talk about his work, was Fenton, a literal superhero. And he didn’t need to be sharper than the sharpies to know Gladstone wasn’t one.
Gladstone shrugged again “A paper one? No idea, haven’t really read it,” he looked at his golden watch, not noticing Louie’s jaw dropping, “Oooh, guys, I really have to go now, or I’ll be late for my 3:15 massage!” he leaned next to the ducklings and said in conspiratory tone “I got it for free! Can you imagine!” he snickered.
“No, what an inconceivable turn of events!” Louie’s sarcasm managed to leak through his mild shock.
“So, nice to see you little Donalds, Purple tie!” he cringed when he got another look at Fenton’s outfit, “You know what,” he reached into his wallet, took a 100 dollar bill and handed it to Fenton, “Please, my friend, buy yourself something nice! And you two, talk to your uncle about giving the poor guy a raise, I have to go now, bye!”
He started to walk away when he suddenly seemed to remember something and turned back to the boys, "Oh, and if you could keep quiet about me being in the city to Scrooge and Donnie, that would be really nice. Nothing suspicious going on, I just want to...surprise them yeah, that's it, ok? Thanks guys, bye!" he turned on his heel and walked away.
Fenton held the 100$ bill as if it was poisonous, “Are all your distant relatives this charming or is he an exception?” He asked, looking after Gladstone who, having walked less than 30 meters, bent down to pick up another 20$.
“An exception,” Louie said.
“You used to think he was the best uncle!” Dewey accused him.
“So, so did you!,” Louie shot back, “The only one who at least kind of disagreed was Hewey! Eugh, I hate when he’s right!” The boy turned to Fenton, “I mean, Gladstone is not bad, he can just be a bit annoying.”
“Has he really never held a job?” Fenton asked, still unsure about what to do with the 100$.
“According to Uncle Scrooge and Uncle Donald, nope!” Dewey said, “Told you, magic luck! That’s why he’s so oblivious to the very obvious stuff. Nothing ever really goes wrong for him.” Dewey explained, “I’m just surprised somebody hired him for his special set of skills! I mean I’m not even sure he has one!”
“Not sure. I mean he can be charming enough when he wants to and he is an expert on luxurious stuff but other than that,” Louie shrugged. “Remember what Webs told us about that day he came crawling to her and Lena for help? He barely knew how to open the door. He went to the bank before going to an AMT!” Fenton facepalmed “Right? Like, who does that! I’m a child, and I know you go to an ATM first.”
“Maybe they tricked him in an entry-level job?” Fenton suggested, “or an MLM?”.
“No way! Even those require skill, right? Like even if you get a part-time job in high school as, I don’t know, a dishwasher, they expect you to know how to wash dishes. I’m not sure Uncle Gladstone knows how to do that! It’s actually kind of sad. MLM might be the right answer though.”
Louie was thinking. The events of the morning were falling into place like puzzle pieces, the news report, their conversation with Scrooge and Goldie.
One person miraculously found an artifact both Scrooge and Goldie, the two best explorers in the world, have been looking for for decades. One person had a secret weapon that allowed them to find it. Dewey’s and Goldie’s little exchange back at the den passed through Louie’s mind.
A lucky shot?” Dewey guessed.
“Perhaps…but I still assume he got someone to help him,” Goldie said.
And then Uncle Gladstone just appeared out of nowhere with a job. A job he had to be very secretive about, to the point he didn't want the adults in the family learning he was even in the city. A job that requires his special set of skills.
“It’s Glomgold!” Louie said, earning surprised glances from Dewey and Fenton.
“What?” the two ducks said in unison.
“Gladstone is working for Glomgold!”