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Xingqiu dreaded the idea of getting married.

He was the second heir to a good, powerful family that had a lot of influence in Liyue. It’d stand to reason that his parents wanted him to marry off into a good family since his older brother would be inheriting most of the Feiyun Commerce Guild. He didn't mind not inheriting the guild, but it was a personal mystery as to why he would have to marry into another business. He could make well on his own and he already did a lot of work for the Guild himself. Despite it all, His parents had set him up with a few girls before, but no one sparked his interest for reasons obvious to himself. He appreciated the thought, yet he knew no one his parents chose would ever spark his interest that way, no matter how many acquaintances he made through the process. He loathed the idea of a marriage being all protocols and meetings, so it’d always been a difficult process with him to say the least. Whether he was born a hopeless romantic or had his head filled with all the books he read was a secret only he knew.

Xingqiu sighed and did what he always did, counting to three in his head before knocking on his brother's door.

“Xingqiu?” Zixin asked. “And what brings you here?”

“Can I talk to you, Ge?

Zixin obliged, like always, and moved aside to let his little brother in his room. The two brothers were friendly with each other, if not a bit distant. Xingqiu would often find himself here, splayed across his brother's bed while losing every facade of ‘noble second heir’ and ‘gracious swordsman’ to just be sixteen for a moment.

“What’s got you so beaten up?”

“Marriage.” Xingqiu said. “I fear that I’ll be matched endlessly with people I’ll turn down and nothing will come of anything.”

“Don’t say that, Didi.” Zixin said. “It took me a while, too, but I’m happily engaged and madly in love now.”

“I was hoping you could ask our dearest parents to oversee who I meet with.”

“Oh?”

“And perhaps mention a certain preference of who I’d like to see.” Xingqiu mimed cutting off his jacket sleeve.

“Xingqiu,” Zixin sighed. “If you want mother and father to know you prefer men, you have to say so yourself, but I’d be more than happy to help sort out the men for you.”

Zixin was right, as he often happened to be. Anything so important should only be heard from Xingqiu's mouth. It shouldn't be left to others and he understood that, but that didn't mean he wanted to say it himself. The problem was that his parents weren't always the easiest to talk to. They could be understanding one moment and harsh at another. Xingqiu wasn't worried they'd ever kick him out, but he was worried they'd not lay off and come at him with an onslaught of boys he also didn't want to marry. That was his best case scenario, and his worst case scenario was something he'd rather not dwell over.

Xingqiu begrudgingly left his brothers room, in search of his parents. At this time of the afternoon, they were both likely home and enjoying their tea together. It was hard to get them in the same place and this wasn't a conversation he wanted to have over dinner. Meals with everyone home were a quiet time for Xingqiu. There was no arguing, no complaining, no yelling, and most importantly: no absences. His parents worked a majority of their day and Zixin always had his own priorities. Even when they were home, it was when Xingqiu was at the bookstore or off somewhere else just to read. He knew his parents loved both their sons, but that doesn't mean it wasn't rough at times.

When the rough times included an argument then avoidance of each other all day, that's when things started to get complicated. Xingqiu was so stubborn that he'd drag things out and his parents didn't know how to apologize and talk to him. Most arguments never ended and only subsided for a time being. That's why Xingqiu was always so nervous telling them things. He knew they'd never resolve if it did end in tears.

"Mother, Father." Xingqiu cleared his throat upon entering the drawing room. "May I discuss something with you both?"

His father laughed and waved him in.

"Always so formal, Qiu'r" he said. "I'm glad those etiquette lessons paid off, of course you can come join us."

"Whatever is on your mind, Qiu'r?" His mother asked sternly, setting out tea for him.

Xingqiu accepted graciously. This was the make or break of the situation. They were already in a pleasant mood, which meant one of two things for the situation. He comes forth and says it and they take it well. They nod in understanding and move on with their tea. Or what Xingqiu dreaded would happen, the worst case scenario.

Eating away chunks of his brain was the same scene he painted in his head. His parents coerce him into marrying a woman for the public image, then tell him his bedroom life gets decided by him. It was an unlikely outcome and he might have unlocked this fear after reading a harsh political-drama-romance novel, but that didn't quiet his fright.

"I would like to give input on the many proposals you two have arranged on my behalf."

"Oh?" His mother preened. "Has one of the young ladies sparked your interest, finally?"

"That's the problem." He said, full of melodrama. "No young lady will ever spark enough of my interest to fuel a fire in my heart."

His father laughed at his antics. "A young man, then? That opens up some options."

Xingqiu paused.

"Open options?"

"Yes, a few." His mother said. "I wish you'd told us sooner, Qiu'r, a good family with a son your age wrote us a letter who knows how long ago. I'll have to see if they're still interested in meeting to see if you two form a connection."

Xingqiu nodded. "Thank you for understanding."

___

Fate's plan did not involve Xingqiu marrying a boy he loved.

This is what he concluded the night before his engagement party. He wouldn't marry a boy he loved because he was already in love. He'd marry someone else, though, someone his parents approved of. He'd make the Feiyun Commerce Guild proud. Even th object of his affection would go on to marry well someday.

But here in Chongyun’s lap felt so different. Xingqiu's head rest against his thighs as he listened to him read aloud. He was no great reader and stuttered too much when he recited. Xingqiu loved the sound. He loved how imperfect Chongyun's voice was because it reminded him of art. Art was never beautiful or perfect, and when it was perfect it was strange. To him, the best art was always imperfect. Xingqiu loved being so close to Chongyun, seeing each one of his pores up close. It was barely noticeable, but Xingqiu could even make out acne scars amongst his already dry, bumpy face. He was a beautiful piece of art because he felt real. He was real.

Xingqiu only wishes Chongyun was his.

"Are you listening, Xingqiu?"

That caught his attention.

"No."

Chongyun sighed, quite annoyed. "Why am I reading this to you, then?"

"I like hearing your voice." He said. "Plus, I've read this one before. I'm not missing out."

"If you wanted to hear my voice, why don't we just talk?"

"Alright, my dear Chongyun. What is it that you want to talk about?"

He thought about it for a moment.

"Why do you value privacy if you're not doing anything wrong or shameful on your own?"

Chongyun was fond of philosophical thought. It wasn't uncommon for him to bring up a question or two for him and Xingqiu to ponder in their boredom.

"Perhaps we aren't hiding anything, but we're hiding from something." Xingqiu reasoned.
"Privacy is a place alone. It's only when we're alone that we are free from judgements and can truly be ourselves."

"Do you think there'll ever be a person who can enter into your private life? Someone whose heart beats to the same rhythm yours does, a person who is so dear to you that privacy has extended to them because you'll never put up a facade for them."

Xingqiu looked up, thinking Chongyun looked beautiful from below. He stared back down at Xingqiu, becoming unsure where his hands should rest when he had someone's head in his lap. Chongyun settled them behind himself, leaning back slightly. Xingqiu held his breath.

"I believe there's such people." He whispered. "I believe I know such a person."

"I believe I know such a person as well, Xingqiu."

___

Xingqiu woke up the next morning, feeling more tired than usual.

His circadian rhythm certainly adjusted to waking up at the same time. He was forced to rise on his own and wouldn't dare be a moment late to anything. The maids were told by Zixin to stay away from his room. Xingqiu guessed it was his brother's attempt to get him to learn responsibility. Keeping his room clean had always been a problem area for him.

But when he woke up this morning, his body wished to curl up and sleep another twelve hours. Even Xu, who had been waiting outside his door, could tell the second young master was deprived of rest.

"Aiya!" Xu cursed. "Master Xingqiu, did you stay up reading your books again? Nevermind, I already drew your bath water, hurry up."

Xu rushed him along like he always did, and Xingqiu couldn't blame him. He often skirted his responsibilities and hid in places no one could find him. When his parents were busy and attending to Guild matters, Xu was there. He made sure Xingqiu ate three meals, took his bath, and studied what he needed to. Xingqiu truly was grateful to have him around, but that didn't mean he never caused trouble for Xu.

By the time Xingqiu finished his bath- fell asleep in it- and got dressed, it was nearly half day. Closer and closer, the engagement talk over lunch was approaching. He'd never been so nervous meeting with the young ladies his parents set him up with. Perhaps his anxiety was because he was meeting with someone he could actually be attracted to. Part of it was owed to the fact that, even though he was finally seeing a boy, he knew he wouldn't fall in love. He would never form such an intimate connection besides the one he already has. Chongyun was special for him and would be the only special one for him.

Xingqiu descended the stairs, surprised at his parents talking to another couple at the door. His mother's body language suggested something like sympathy, perhaps a polite apology for an unfortunate thing. This was only a nicety Xingqiu had seen when put in public. His mother was fierce and had a silver tongue behind closed doors.

"Xingqiu!" His mother called. "Come, come and meet Qingzhao and Meihui."

The two women gave Xingqiu a kind smile, not one that looked fake. They looked to be a bit younger than Xingqiu's own parents and wore matching outfits that reminded him of what he and Zixin used to wear. Qingzhao wore a deep blue qipao that almost resembled the shade of Xingqiu's hair. On it, was a floral pattern in a paler shade of blue. He had to restrain himself from comparing it to Chongyun's hair. Next to her, Meihui wore the same qipao with the color scheme inverted.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, my ladies." Xingqiu bowed.

"Oh, How charming," Meihui said. "It's a pleasure to meet you as well, young sir."

"Qiu'r," his father said. "Meihui and Qingzhao arrived here early because there's been slight trouble on their part. Their son is unable to come."

"Yes," his mother agreed, sympathetically. "You said he fell ill, correct?"

"Somewhat," said Qingzhao. "He gets sick under stress and it turns out this evening was weighing on him. He gave himself a fever worrying about making a good impression."

"Ah, poor boy! I'm sure he would have made a fine impression." His mother exclaimed. "Well, seeing as you're here now, I see no reason to waste lunch preparations if your son will be okay. We can reschedule for him and Xingqiu."

"Of course!" Meihui said. "His lao ye is taking good care of him now."

Xingqiu internally groaned, but showed not a thing on his face. If he had any less care for chivalry, he'd kindly tell the mothers he'd likely never marry their son. If he wasn't willing to show up, then why should Xingqiu be willing to see him? If he was to settle for a second best fiance, he'd keep a high standard and not feel guilty over it. Despite his reservations, Xingqiu wasn't disinterested in meeting with Qingzhao and Meihui. He wasn't a person who tended to have a closed mind. He'd never shame or even rudely stare at those different from himself. Xingqiu's interest wasn't out of difference, but a similarity. They were similar in the ways the sun and moon became opposites and compliments as they turned, but it was there. Xingqiu did not like women romantically. Meihui and Qingzhao were a married couple, and presumably liked women themselves.

He knew of few other people who's attraction and relationship to gender was different from the average majority. The funeral parlor's consultant was dating the Shneznayan bank manager. The Wangshu Inn manager happened to have a wife. Down at Bubu's Pharmacy, the pharmacist was quite open about his lack of preference for men or women. The captain of the Crux was open about her fondness of the Tianquan. Xingqiu had no solid proof of this one, but he caught a certain vibe from that Inazuman poet Beidou travels with, as well.

Xingqiu knew people like him, yet they seemed so far away. Even sitting across the table from Meihui and Qingzhao put an uncrossable distance between knowing someone. He'd have to try and bridge that gap over lunch if he ever did want to know them.

"Xingqiu," Qingzhao said once they settled into lunch. "I've heard around that you studied with the Guhua Clan."

Xingqiu turned red in the face. Whether it was the casual use of his given name or the topic, he didn't know. He could feel his mother stiffen beside him, something he was sure to be scolded for afterwards. She had never been fond of his martial arts, and even Xingqiu could tell that Qingzhao and Meihui might want to judge his character on this.

"You have heard correctly, my lady." Xingqiu said, with all of the chivalry he could muster into the persona he so carefully created. "I studied martial arts with the Guhua Clan and keep up with my teachings to this day."

She smiled at him warmly.

"I see, I studied martial arts myself when I was younger." She quickly waved a hand as if she was dismissing the topic. "My clan wasn't as well known but it did the trick. I'm curious to learn what you've mastered at this young age."

Xingqiu exhaled, suddenly aware he was holding his breath.

"I would be honored to perform my skill in front of someone who holds a talent like yours."

"You flatter me! I'd love for a friendly spar against you when we have a chance. You've got to prove yourself worthy of my son as well, you know?"

She laughed, in a boisterous way that wasn't suited for his family's dining table. Xingqiu loved the sound. He wasn't even thinking of the fact that this other family would indeed be judging him. That's all this was- a judgement on first impressions to see if the union of your families is compatible. Xingqiu hated to think of himself as self-revolving and was ashamed he didn't think about needing to prove himself. He tried to make a good impression everywhere he went, so it wasn't something on the forefront of his mind. Still, he wouldn't mind being judged if it was by people like Meihui and Qingzhao. He found himself wanting to know what they thought of him and wanted to be impressive in their eyes.

Lunch continued and concluded only slightly awkwardly. Xingqiu could see a difference between his own life and theirs, unable to help the way he was drawn to them. His own life had been so reserved and restrained with concepts of etiquette and properness. Nothing about Qingzhao and Meihui was improper or unmannerly, but something about them was different. Neither seemed bothered by it. Neither seemed bothered trying to keep up appearances or holding themselves to a high standard. They were so unapologetically themselves. Xingqiu wanted to be himself in the way they were. He was quiet and distant around strangers, but Qingzhao and Meihui were so open with Xingqiu. There were very few people who knew Xingqiu for all and everything he was.

It was already nearing dinner when Xingqiu finally decided to visit Chongyun. He debated not meeting up with him this once, but there hasn't been a day since they've met where they didn't see each other. Xingqiu would hate to break tradition. He also found himself missing Chongyun quite a bit.

Xingqiu first checked by all the local places Chongyun might be found. He wasn't hanging around at the port, nor was he around Wanmin. Xingqiu would have to make a trip to Chongyun's house if he wasn't out. He happened to live in the apartments under Wanwen book house. Xingqiu and hi. were practically next door to each other, but rarely ever stated in each others houses. Xingqiu longed to be anywhere else and Chongyun's parents were rarely home. It made more sense to be away, just enjoying the view from Yujing Terrace or reading new books to each other.

Xingqiu knocked on the door.

"Ah, young Xingqiu!" Chongyun's Lao Ye said. "Why don't you come in?"

Oftentimes, it was unadvisable to leave Chongyun on his own. Due to this, Xingqiu had met many aunt, uncles, cousins, even his grandparents. It wasn't that Chongyun was ill-trusted, of course, only that his parents were away usually and couldn't keep him safe. Having a chronic illness that could kill him if he let himself overheat wasn't something he'd want to deal with on his own.

"Is Chongyun at home?"

"Yes, he's unwell at the moment, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind seeing you."

With that, Xingqiu made his way to the bedroom.

Chongyun was sprawled across his bed, his blanket half off him like he was tossing. His hair and face had accumulated a sheen of sweat in his sleep, making him look more flushed than usual. The way his chest heaved while breathing was noticeable. It became more obvious since Chongyun was no longer wearing any bindings in his sleep. While he opted to hide his chest most often, it wasn't uncommon for Xingqiu to see him without any bindings. They'd trained together, shared a bed together, done most everything together. Chongyun was also never the type to be too bothered by what he was born with.

Xingqiu moved to sit on the edge of the bed, running a hand through Chongyun's sweat slicked bangs. As expected, he was burning up hotter than the Pyro Regisvine. Upon contact, Chongyun's eyes fluttered open.

"Xingqiu?" He muttered, both full of tiredness and sick.

"Ah, my dear, Chongyun! I didn't mean to wake you." He said. "How are you feeling?"

"Hot." He said, before adding, "and gross."

"Quite the poet, you are." Xingqiu laughed.

Chongyun groaned as he stretched out.

"I was very close to entering my full yang state," Chongyun explained. "But I managed to keep myself cool. Not without getting sick, though, as you can see."

"Well, very good that you didn't have a full meltdown."

"Indeed." Chongyun said. "Xingqiu, I'm sorry about-"

"No!" Xingqiu said, a bit too loud. "No, there's no need for you to apologize to me. After all, our friendship is built upon such an intimate trust. You understand me, as I do you. There's no need for apologies between us for such things."

Chongyun smiled and Xingqiu's entire world lit up.

"Thank you," he said, not before playfully mocking his friend. "My Dearest, Xingqiu."

Xingqiu was glad he wasn't the one with an excess of Yang energy, or he'd be a dead man by now.

___

Liyue Harbor had merchants pretty much anywhere they could fit themselves. Throughout the streets and along the piers, Liyue was a place that loved economical trades.

This was the spawning point for the Feiyun Commerce Guild to start trading silks with local merchants. It had been Xingqiu's idea, and was now a main task of his when he found the time for it. A merchant's stand isn't complete without looking pretty. Like a bird attracting it's mate, the more colorful and alluring things will surely attract the people. The fine silks provided by the guild could be used as a rest for the finest of stones, or even a lining for the intricately woven baskets.

He looked over the silks on the table, the ones he'd prepared by himself. In turn for providing them, the jeweler was letting him have his pick of what was already laid out. Xingqiu was never one for jewelry, so he'd often gift these things to other people. Earrings for his mother, a necklace for a friend, rings for his brother- they'd all become normal.

"Quite pretty, aren't they."

"Indeed-" Xingqiu looked up. "Ah, Meihui! It's you."

"It is," she chuckled. "I was out getting groceries and decided to indulge myself."

"Indulgence is the heart's medicine," Xingqiu said. "I don't wear jewelry often, but it's a nice feeling to gift someone something special."

"My Qingzhao always gifts me more necklaces than I know what to do with," she said, fondly. "My son's also made a few as art projects, but between you and me, I'm glad jewelry making isn't his ambition."

Xingqiu laughed.

"I'm sure even his arts and crafts looked beautiful on you, my lady."

"Oh, you suck up!" She teased him, but he didn't mind. "Are any of these drawing your eye?"

He looked back to the table. There was an array of jewels, chains, and everything in between. The thing that truly caught Xingqiu's eye, however, was a simple necklace. A single blue gem was placed in the middle of a metal snowflake, that then hung from a silver chain. It seemed ordinary, plain amongst its crowd, but that made it stand out even more. Amongst a crowd of entertainers and dazzlers, why wouldn't someone simple be noticed?

"The snowflake?" Meihui asked, following his gaze. "You're right that it doesn't suit your style, perhaps your eyes see it as a gift?"

"You'd be right in that assumption."

"You'd best get it then, I can tell you mean it for a special someone," she said, winking at him. "Show your affections openly so they don't think you've forgotten how to love them."

Xingqiu felt startled, but kindly asked the shop merchant to box it up for him. Xingqiu thought of someone he loved- Chongyun- not any person his parents ever made him meet, just Chongyun. Meihui seemed to know he was in love, he guessed the phrase 'it takes one to know one' really meant something. Meihui and Qingzhao were the most in-love people he'd ever encountered. Meihui probably saw the ever present longing in his eyes when he gazed at something silly, like that little snowflake. Love made you very silly, Xingqiu had gathered, it made you think the most ordinary things were special. Not because you suddenly turned mad, but because love gave meaning to everything. Love in every form made you appreciate just as much as it made you ache.

Meihui had decided to walk Xingqiu back home. He was, of course, old enough to make it back on his own, but appreciated the gesture anyway. She was kind, less abrasive than Qingzhao, and made Xingqiu feel safe. He felt like he could say the wrong things in front of her and she'd wait patiently for him to collect all his thoughts and try again. No reprimand for stupid mistakes, only composure. Patience was not something he was given a lot of. No patience for his stupid hobbies, like martial arts. No patience for his intolerance and boredom of guild affairs. No patience when he just wanted to run away, leaving the world of a second heir- so he could read a book and keep reading until he forgot how to breathe and finally collapsed.

Xingqiu loved his parents, his brother, and everyone else who has been in his life. His love didn't make it less hard on him, though. He knew they all tried to help as much as they could, he knew it was something they just didn't understand. He knew he could be more difficult than Zixin ever was. Oftentimes, he had trouble just starting things. If he lacked passion for his craft, he couldn't continue it- and when he did have passion, he couldn't pry himself away no matter how much it hurt him. They couldn't understand Xingqiu. He wasn't being lazy, he hated being told he lazy, because he wasn't. He had a fire burning within him, that blew off smokes and ash of passion and creation. It was a fire only able to be seen in his eyes. The only thing they saw was the running river that washed away all passion and thought, leaving him empty.

He loved his parents, but he loved how different Meihui and Qingzhao seemed to be.

_____

At Yujing terrace, there was a tree that grew silk flowers under it. Somehow, they still flourished under the shade. They waited until dusk and dawn to get a glimpse of the sunlight passing through them, and though brief, it managed to be enough. It must be awfully painful to only feel a sliver of the very thing that makes your body move and makes your heart beat.

Xingqiu thought this place was beautiful.

Chongyun was back to his usual self, and fondly agreed to share a lunch outing with Xingqiu. The two picked up their respective lunches from Wanmin and made their way to the tree. Xingqiu took the liberty of sprawling out on his stomach and setting his food on the ground, both to be relaxed and because it was easier to eat this way without a table. Chongyun sat opposite of him, both physically across from him and opposite in his stature. Chongyun sat up tall, not menacingly but most definitely respectfully. Even without trying, he held a certain grace to his presence. The only thing that Xingqiu would be more nervous and reverent of would be Rex Lapis descending upon him at this very moment.

This place was beautiful because Xingqiu thought Chongyun belonged here. He belonged somewhere beautiful, whether it was by his side and in his arms or a thousand miles away next to the most intricately grown tree. He simply belonged to this world, as a being made of nothing other than passions and desire. He loved so much and wanted so much for his life. He knew everything Xingqiu didn't, he knew what he wanted out of the time he had living.

Xingqiu wanted to tell him he was beautiful so very, very bad.

"I have a gift for you, Chongyun," Xingqiu said.

"Xingqiu," Chongyun almost sounded like he was scolding him. "I welcome anything you give me, but you really didn't have to go through the trouble. I don't have anything to give you in return."

"Can't I show my affections to you? So you can remember how much I care about you?"

Chongyun's face scrunched up, like it always does when he comes to a realization.

"You sound like someone I know."

"I've learned from many people, so maybe I've learned from them too," Xingqiu said. "Their words have grown on in my heart, until they're mature enough to be let back into my bloodstream and spill out of my open wounds."

"I get what you're saying, but I don't think I understand the metaphor you've used."

"You understand metaphors by applying your life to them, I understand life by applying my metaphors to it."

"How profound."

Xingqiu smiled, pulling out a box from his pocket.

"I know it might seem odd, but it reminded me of you."

Chongyun took the box and lifted the lid. His eyes widened as he saw what was laid in the velvet lined box. A silver chain, with only a snowflake charm to decorate it. He looked at how beautifully crafted the charm was, then glanced at the vision hanging from his belt. He seemed to make the connection well enough, but Xingqiu expected him too. His intentions were obvious and Chongyun was smart.

"Xingqiu, it's beautiful," he whispered. "Will you help me put it on?"

Xingqiu moved to sit behind Chongyun, and brought his hands to brush the hair off his neck. He was slowly clasping the necklace, just so his touch could linger a moment longer.

"Thank you," Chongyun said. "I'll be sure to bring you something equally beautiful from the market when we see eachother tomorrow."

"Don't you know proper etiquette, my dear Chongyun?"

Chongyun blushed, aware of the others' teasing tone. "What do you mean?"

"If you return my gift as quickly as you can, won't I think you just want to be out of my debt?" Xingqiu said. "Do you really want to turn me away like this?"

Chongyun shook his head. "Of course not, I only wish to not let you forget I love you."

It was finally Xingqiu's turn to let his body be consumed by an ever hungry flame. The pit of his stomach felt like it filled with molten rock, making him both hot and heavy. He briefly wondered if this is how Chongyun felt all the time, with his condition constantly being at the forefront. Xingqiu knew it was there and could even see it at times, but it still remained a thing he could never conceptualize. He saw how hard Chongyun had to work- harder than everyone in Liyue- just to be on an equal playing ground. The time he had outside of training was consumed with managing his yang energy, and even then, he had to watch himself when he trained. Chongyun was not his to be proud of. Pride is for when someone who's yours completes the uncompleted and makes the impossible more possible. Xingqiu was proud of Chongyun, but not for this. Him existing was no achievement of the greats because he was not the artist, but he was the art himself. Admiration was for when someone you love is worthy of being looked up to. When everything they do inspires passion and the willpower to keep continuing yourself. Xingqiu admired Chongyun for how much he put up with. He admired the strength he had amongst all the passing out, keeping track of his body heat, triple checking the things he ate, and having to be hyper-aware of how people were different from him. He admired Chongyun, not out of stupid shit like pity or charity, but because admiration is the only thing Chongyun deserved. Xingqiu admired him outside his condition, but also admired him with it. It was a part of him, but not his whole- and to love his whole he had to try and understand every part that made him. To love someone is to hold their insecurities, infirmities, and individualities and cradle them close to your heart to keep them warm.

Xingqiu was unsure how he meant those words. Xingqiu had omitted the word 'love' from what Meihui told him on purpose, but here Chongyun was saying he loved him. You love your brother, you love your parents, you love your friends, you love your lover. You could love a lot of people and he was unsure how Chongyun loved him. He was only sure that he'd always love him back, in whatever way their natural relationship settled.

"I would never forget your love, Chongyun," Xingqiu said. "I assure you."

____

When tomorrow became today, Xingqiu had not seen Chongyun. He didn't meet him for breakfast, nor lunch, nor an afternoon for tea. Of course, Xingqiu could have taken the initiative, but he was already immersed in the affairs of the Feiyun Commerce Guild.

The affairs happened to be his own.

He wouldn't consider whoever he was meeting with an affair, however. Chongyun had come first and would always be first to him. Meihui and Qingzhao's son was bound to be a lovely man, and Xingqiu would gladly meet with him. Even if he couldn't fathom marrying a boy whose name he's yet to learn, he could imagine himself as part of Meihui and Qingzhao's family. He wanted to wax poetry with Meihui and train the sword with Qingzhao. Even now, he recited poems to himself as he swung his sword in practice. He wanted to be impressive, but especially to them.

His Shixiong often agreed to fight him and train the Guhua art together. Sun Yu might have been his senior, but he looked up to Xingqiu. The Guhua clan had been in quite the decline, and it was one thing for Xingqiu to master Guhua arts from paper fish to sword swallowing. It was another for him to obtain a vision whilst mastering these arts. Xingqiu showed talent in martial arts, much grander than what the Guhua's current cheap show tricks happened to be. He was an embodiment of what the clan used to be. He was someone Sun Yu could strive to be like and urge others to be like.

"Your lips move when you fight," Sun Yu told him while their swords clashed in grace. "Are you cursing me with those words?"

"Not at all, I only recite poetry." Xingqiu said. "Why sharpen one skill at a time when you can work on both?"

"Doesn't your flowery language seem so different from a fight?"

"On the contrary, isn't this more like a dance," Xingqiu said, moving his sword like a dancer twirled his ribbon. "We move around each other, using our swords as extensions of ourselves, to create a form of intangible art."

Sun Yu laughed, "I think we're just sparring, but who am I to argue with your ways as long as I'm enjoying myself?"

Xingqiu made contact with the hard ground beneath him. While he let himself get distracted, Sun Yu had kicked his ankles out from beneath him. Grace happened to be Xingqiu's downfall, getting caught up in the beauty of what he called a dance. Sun Yu had used this to knock him down, and he now held the point of his sword to Xingqiu's throat.

"Finally won after a whole shichen," Sun Yu said.

"Ah, it's been so long," Xingqiu said. "What time is it?"

"It should be about the head of the rooster now."

The engagement meeting happened to be at the time of the rooster.

"I need to leave, Sun Yu," Xingqiu hurriedly scrambled to stand. "Thank you for training with me."

Xingqiu took off with a sprint, fearing the fact that he was already quite far from home. Sun Yu and him were only across the bridge from the harbor, but that was still a decent ten minute walk to the Feiyun Commerce Guild.

Punctuality and proper poise was a virtue in his home. From a young age, he learned to please his guests to keep up the good image of the guild. Keeping people content and providing for them in what ways he can made him happy as well. To bring a smile to someones face was the greatest reward to him, but to keep a guest in wait would surely disappoint. Not only would it breed impatience, but it'd disappoint his parents. He'd be scolded for sure, but he was nervous to find out what other punishment was in store for him.

All thoughts of trying to sneak back into the scene were diminished when he pulled open the front door. Meihui and his mother were walking through the foyer as the latter seemed to be showing off the displayed art pieces they'd collected. Meihui waved at him, seeming delighted rather than annoyed. His mother couldn't spare him a glance which said much more than anything else she could have done.

"How wonderful you've made it, Qiu'r," his mother said, displaying her discontent with her tone. "Quite lucky Meihui inquired about our collections here, or we'd have terribly bored guests."

Meihui cleared her throat, trying to relieve the clear tension.

"Why don't we join the other four?" She said, "It's great to see you again, Xingqiu."

His mother hummed a tune of agreeance and led them back to the dining room.

Xingqiu felt embarrased over every other emotion. As much as he claims humility, he cared about the opinions of other people. He didn't care out of pride, but a much deeper thing. He cared out of being understood. To have his actions and words twisted or misread in a way that distorts his image and person was a crueler fate than anything else. He realized how his lateness made him look lazy and inattentive, but anyone who knew him understood he wasn't. The last thing he wanted was for Meihui to think ill of him, but now he could only focus on the task in front of him.

"Xingqiu," his father called, not particularly caring about his lateness. "There you are, I would've started to think you ran off on us. I was keeping these two entertained myself."

Xingqiu froze, taking a couple seconds to formulate a response in his shock at the scene.

"My sincere apologies to you and a thousand thank yous for your patience," Xingqiu said. "I lost track of the time while training."

"Don't stress it," Qingzhao said. "Time has always been my worst enemy."

"Training is important and it's admirable you'd dedicate so much time to it," Chongyun said.

Xingqiu had never felt more stupid than right now. The gears in his brain finally started turning as every puzzle piece began to fall slowly into place. Chongyun was Meihui and Qingzhao's son. The meaningful glance Meihui gave him, Chongyun's sudden apology, him falling sick that day, it all made so much more sense. Yet, it only raised more questions for Xingqiu. His mother told him the family had actually proposed this arrangement quite a bit ago. How long had Chongyun known about this? He wondered if his parents saw use in the Feiyun Commerce Guild, or if it was Chongyun who brought the idea to his parents. He wondered if Chongyun loved him, and for how long.

"Now that we're all here, why don't we talk business?" His mother said, taking the seat next to her husband.

Xingqiu sat to her left, while Meihui sat across from them and next to her wife and son. His mother folded her hands neatly into her lap and scanned her eyes over Chongyun's family. She was judging them as much as she could, as was in her quick and stubborn nature.

"I'll be blunt with you," she said. "How do our families benefit each other? You're exorcists, are you not?"

"Exorcism is a business that travels the world," Chongyun said. "With our combined connections throughout Teyvat, both the Guild and our Exorcists' duties could reach beyond Liyue. Expansion will only bring benefit to us all."

Xingqiu's mother nodded, quite impressed with the answer. Some of his own anxiety dispelled with it as well.

Xingqiu's parents went back and forth asking questions about everything they could think of. Their questions ranged from how their business is conducted to how their personal home dynamics are. Chongyun mostly answered, confident in himself like he'd been preparing for this. Xingqiu didn't doubt that he had practiced. Perhaps it was simply bliss and determination that gave him all that confidence where he'd normally be shy.

Zixin was sat right of his father, but still managed to shoot a curious look at Xingqiu from across the table. A look that seemed to have said 'isn't that your best friend discussing your potentional marriage?' Xingqiu only replied with a bashful smirk, for he was just as confused at Zixin happened to be. Nearly half a shichen passed before his parents were done interrogating Chongyun's poor family.

"You've left us with much to consider," Xingqiu's father said. "We'll all be sure to talk with our Qiu'r and help him decide the outcome proposal."

"Actually," Xingqiu interrupted. "I believe I've reached a conclusion to this."

Xingqiu's mother widened her eyes and gave him a warning glare. He'd rudely denied proposals the second he's met with someone before and she could only hope he wasn't about to pull that here.

Instead, Xingqiu rose to his feet. He placed his right hand in front of his left fist and bowed.

"It would be an honor," he said. "To celebrate the union of our two families."

Chongyun and his parents all smiled brightly, somewhat expecting this outcome. Xingqiu's family, however, seemed shocked. Matchmakers told them their poor son was too hopeless to find a match with his 'unique personality.' For Xingqiu to accept so soon seemed out of character and they briefly had to wonder what tricks an exorcist could pull on their youngest son.

Chongyun stood and bowed to Xingqiu as well. It was only then that he saw the silver chain peeking from the hem of his shirt. He wore the necklace Xingqiu gifted him. He stood straight again and pulled a box from his pocket, presenting it to Xingqiu.

“I hope that now you’ve decided to accept the proposal, you’ll also accept this gift.”

Xingqiu took the box and nearly gasped at what was inside. A beautiful broach in it, taking the shape of a peacock. The bird's tail swirled like waves of gold, intricately pieced together forming a shape much similar to the broach that Xingqiu currently wore. Not only was it so distinctly within Xingqiu’s style, but it matched Chongyun in a way. He was swimming in an abundance of pure yang energy, while this peacock was a perfect symbol of the opposite yin energy. It was made to pull Chongyun and Xingqiu together. He really had kept his promise to gift Xingqiu something of equal beauty, and even went beyond the word equal.

“Of course I’d accept anything you gift me, my dear Chongyun.”