Chapter Text
Another day, another headache. Tommy doesn't know when these murderous headaches started, but all he knows is that it hurts like hell.
He forces himself to get up with his head pounding, looks at himself in the mirror realizing he didn't get much sleep, with light but visible eyebags under his eyes. He considered whether or not to show up to his lessons… I mean it’s not like they would notice. The only time he comes into their vocabulary is when they need him, not to spend time with him, but for him to attend to his duties or just be a little servant for them.
Speaking of servants, every royal has a personal one, and at first Tommy didn't really like the guy, but now, they have a better bond than he does with his father. He's probably the only thing that’s keeping Tommy from giving up.
*Knock knock*
"Prince Tommy, are you awake?" A familiar voice asked.
"Yeah Sam," Tommy responded with a raspy voice, “and haven't I told you no formalities needed? You’re my friend Sam."
"It just feels like it’s out of my place to think like that." Since Tommy's father grew distant he had become more formal and that scared Sam to slip up, even though they were... somewhat good friends.
"Nonsense Sam! You and I have such a brotherly bond!" Tommy teased.
Sam could hear the amusement in his voice and let out a chuckle, "Ok, ok, but get ready, you have lessons at 9."
"Awwww but Sammmm… do I have to?" Tommy groaned, "It's not like those fuckers would notice I’m gone..." He said in a low tone, just loud enough for Sam to hear.
Sam had pity for the boy, he too realized how distant his family was from him.
He never asked, but always wondered what had caused this… all of them interact with each other willingly. Don’t they ever consider to ask him to come along? Sam could never pinpoint why they did this, though he knows it's not on purpose, but that's no excuse for the treatment they give the kid.
As Tommy opens the door, Sam switches back to reality, paying attention to Tommy, who looked so unnaturally tired.
"You ok Tommy?" Sam asked.
Tommy was visibly less uptight when Sam dropped the formalities, and Tommy was more thankful for that than he would ever admit.
"Yeah, just didn't get much sleep from this shitty headache," Tommy complained, rubbing his sore head.
Sam, with visible concern, asked him, "This has been going on for a while, you sure you don't want to get it checked out?"
"Nahh… it's probably migranes or somethin," Tommy waved him off, "Also, there's something I want to ask, and hope you can consider..." He said, trying to change the subject.
"Ok... but let’s walk to your lessons in the meanwhile."
~.~.~
Walking, he looked around his home… his home of shiny marble floors, high baby-blue roofs and quartz pillars dusted with gold.
Tommy wondered on how to ask Sam if he could sneak down to the village now and then. I mean Puffy, the nurse of the castle, said she had connections out of the palace, and that he could bunk there. He believes he could live a better life, a more interactive life, a life where people wanted him around and would willingly hang out with him. He needed that.
Tommy took a deep inhale- "Samiwaswonderingificouldgodowntothevillagebecauseithinkicouldliveabetterlifethereandits-"
"WHOAH. Slow it down there Tommy-" Sam blustered.
"Right, sorry…" He took a breath. "I was wondering if I could go down by the village some days, I mean I’d rather go out than be stuck here my entire lonely life. AND I have somewhere I could stop by for help, Puffy has a friend down there! PLEASE Sam!" Tommy explained pleadingly.
Sam sighed. Although it was risky, the kid needed this. To make friends, live freely. Sam was willing to help him, but they would have to make pretty big plans. He also hoped this wouldn't make him loose his job...
"Ok BUT give me some time to lay out a plan, people haven't seen you much, but you have to make sure to tell no one."
"Understood Sam Nook," Tommy saluted.
Sam let out a laugh and shooed Tommy to his lessons.
~.~.~
Tommy was zoned out thinking the thoughts he thought daily, but couldn’t ever stop. When they fell apart, what had changed? He remembered wracking his brain back then after they ignored him for about a month, trying to come up with anything he had done to deserve this.
He knew that going to the village would make his life slightly better. But why were they doing this? Was he that annoying to them? Should he just stop being him, to have his family back? For years this has been going on and all he could do about it is wonder. Since the efforts he made did nothing...
"Tommy? Earth to Tommyyy?" His tutor said with amusement in his tone.
"I- Uh- I- hi Karl, w-what were you saying? I’m sorry-" Tommy stuttered. He always felt bad zoning out in Karl's lessons. He was so nice, and so gentle with him.
"Tommy, you've been zoning out a lot lately. Also, loosen your grip kid! You look like you’re about to rip out your hair!" Karl said to him jokingly, but not without visible concern.
"Right," Tommy loosened his grip, not knowing how hard he was gripping his hair. "Sorry I- I just have a lot on my mind a- and with a painful ass headache too."
"You should take a break from lessons." Karl's offer sounded more like a demand.
"But it's not like I’ve been paying attention…You could hardly say I deserve one.”
"You need to clear out your mind in peace, ok? Also, ask Puffy to give you some pain meds… they should help with the headaches." Karl offered with a sweet smile.
That smile, one of the only smiles he saw, made Tommy's heart flutter. Someone cares.
"Thanks Karl." Tommy meant that.
"No problem Tommy." Karl ruffled his hair.
~.~.~
Tommy, with probably one of the most real smiles he’s had in years, walked in the direction of the nurse’s office, thinking way too much at once. He like the way Karl treated him, and how Sam agreed for him to go down to the village. THE VILLAGE!
Ohhhh this is gonna be SO fun!
I’m gonna go exploring and trying new things with new friends! He giggled inwardly.
Tommy would usually give a small smile or a chuckle daily, but he'd never been this excited or this happy in a while. It felt good to have that feeling again. He wonders how long it will last.
"What are you so happy about Toms "
Tommy paused in his tracks at the familiar voice. He turns around to see Wilbur, his 'brother'. He wondered what to say since they haven't spoken in a while. Why is he deciding to talk to him now, after weeks, months, YEARS of ignoring him?
He doesn't mean to be dramatic but why, why, why is he doing this? Why now? It's not his business to know what’s making him happy for once. Tommy forms a straight face, almost looking almost like a frown.
"Nothing you need to worry about Wilbur." Tommy said bluntly, inwardly blazing with anger and hatred.
"Why do you sound so uptight Toms, i'm your brother! " Wilbur said with a twisted face and light laughter.
It's true though, he did sound uptight. He was being careful with his words.
That fucking nickname… 'Toms'… he wishes he would stop calling him that. It hurts too much. His head started pounding, but he tried his best to hide it, as he focused on what to say next. The pain was getting unbearable; he couldn't stand hearing his voice once more.
"I need to go," Tommy said drily, as he turned around, walking quickly to the nurse’s office.
"What’s the rush!? Anyway, Dad wants to speak to you!" He shouted as Tommy left. Wilbur stood there, looking bored, watching him leave.
So that why you wanted to know why I’m happy? Not to genuinely listen, but to tell me my 'father' wanted to speak to me. Tommy could feel the tears pricking at the back of his eyes. Big men don't cry. Big men don't cry. Big men don't cry. And why the fuck does that other prick want to talk to me?
You’re almost at Puffy's, just keep walking.
-
"Someone’s happy" Wilbur said looking down at Tommy
Tommy giggled “Yeah I am, Tubbo helped me to catch a bee on my finger! At first I was scared because I thought it was gonna pinch me, but it didn't!"
Wilbur looked at Tommy with affection and amusement in his eyes. "I'm so proud of you."
"I, the biggest man I can do anything!" Tommy said with hesitant confidence.
Wilbur smiled and laughed at his little brother’s antics.
"Well what’s going on here?" A familiar voice said.
"DAD! YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT!" Tommy ran into the arms of his father as his dad embraced him warmly. "I TOUCHED A BEE!"
"Wow! that's incredible mate!" His father said with love wound around his words.
-
His chest tightened at the memory.
Tommy just arrived at the nurse’s office, stepping in he was welcomed with Puffy's worried face. Wondering what’s wrong with him, if he had something on his face.
"Uhh Puffy?" Tommy said with curiosity.
"Tommy, dear, why have you been crying? Are you ok?'" Puffy said with concern.
Crying? He was crying? Tommy touch his face realizing he was crying. Why? Was it the memory? Excuse. Excuse, he needs an excuse.
"Sorry I- Uh have been having this painful headache for so long now," Tommy said hoping it sounded like the truth, either way it was "So I came here for some pain meds."
"Oh ok, does your family know?" Puffy asked while looking for some pain medication.
She knows. She knows how distant I am with them. Why did she ask that?
"It's not like they would care." Tommy mumbled.
Puffy caught a bit of that and sighed, knowing it was a bit of a touchy subject. For as long as Sam had been wondering what happened, Puffy also had been wondering why they became so distant from him, one second they loved him and for the next 6 years they didn’t, from what she's heard.
She never interfered merelt because it wasn't her business. Sure Phil and her were long time friends but this is something she feels like she shouldn't get into. Instead, she help the boy talk out his feelings.
"Ok well here's the medication, take it 2 times a day: one in the morning after breakfast and one at night after dinner." Puffy said with a small smile.
"Thanks Puffy!" Tommy said. He would forget this schedule by the time he leaves. He'll just take it whenever he feels pain, not the best advice but he doesn;t care. This is why he always says, 'don't do something I would do.'
"No problem Tommy, now get a move on squirt!" She playfully shooed him.
Tommy giggled his way out of the room, hiding the pills in his pockets, walking to his dad’s office.
She's annoyed by you, putting on a face since she pities you.
~.~.~
Phil was stressing in his office, planning for a banquet to bring some nearby kingdoms together. He needed help, and thought his sons would be a good fit. He previously asked Wilbur to tell Tommy and Tubbo to talk with him for plans.
He already asked Techno to organize entertainment.
Tubbo came stumbling through the door laughing with his personal servant and friend. Phil watched as Tubbo and Ranboo came in laughing with pure joy and Phil formed an unknown fond smile as they came in.
Phil had thought of Ranboo as a family friend more than a servant. Maybe family if Ranboo was comfortable.
Ranboo realized and straightened up, and Tubbo looked at his father with a smiles and apologetic eyes.
"Sorry dad, Ranboo told me the FUNNIEST joke I’ve heard in ages!" Tubbo said with a wide smile.
Tommy walked to the door and paused to hear Tubbo and what was going on.
"I'm not THAT funny, plus I got that joke from my 101 jokes for dummies." Ranboo said.
That bitch Ranboo was there too?? What did I expect anyway, they're like two peas in a pod.
"THAT MAKES IT EVEN MORE FUNNY!" Tubbo then again burst out laughing. Honestly, he find everything stupidly funny.
Ranboo was quietly trying to signal Tubbo to calm down since he was with the King, but Phil didn't care, he too was laughing. Ranboo dropped his own tension and joined in with a light chuckle.
-
"Meh meh meh I’m Ranboob I'm tall as hell meh meh meh," Tommy said mockingly, but the crinkle at his eyes gave away his fondness.
Tubbo was laughing his ass off knowing he was the shortest one and thought it was hilarious.
"First of all its Ranb- You know what, I don't care anymore!" Ranboo said with a playful pout.
"Ohh c'mon- Ran-Ranboo," Tubbo said between wheezing gasps, “it was funny!"
"He can't even imitate me properly."
"THATS WHAT MAKES IT FUNNY!"
"Well listen here you fucks I’m great at imitating… and at least half of my jokes aren't from the '101 Jokes for Dummies' book," Tommy said mocking him once again.
"YOU KNOW WHAT-… fair enough." Ranboo said in defeat.
"Yeah bitch, big man Tommy wins this."
Eventually everyone broke out into contagious laughter.
-
Phil sighs "Where is Tommy now... Not surprised he's late though." Phil said with annoyance in his voice.
Tubbo wondered when the last time he saw Tommy was, but didn't put much thought into it, since Tommy thought it was time to walk through the door.
Tommy came in with a small frown knowing how tired he looked. He came in with all eyes on him, he was looking down a bit with confusion and bitterness. Tommy had dull eyes, eye bags and a pounding headache. But he couldn't show that to the King, so right when he stepped in he tried his best to hide the tiredness and the pain of the headache.
"I'm here," Tommy said dryly, but Phil had no time to pay attention to his son.
Tommy looks towards Tubbo and Ranboo. Tubbo gave a small wave and Ranboo gave a little smile. Tommy just ignored them, the same way he tried to ignore his painful headache facing back to Phil.
"Ok, well now that finally you all are here, there are some plans I would like to go over." Phil said with bitterness in the 'finally'. "As you should know, we are trying to form a good alliance with some nearby Kingdoms, since we think it could be good use for the future. To do this, I’m organizing a banquet for next week, so I’m going to need help from you lot."
"Oooooh! Sounds fun dad! What do you need?" Tubbo said with enthusiasm. He's never planned anything like this before so he was beyond excited.
Tubbo recently started calling Phil 'dad' and everytime he does Phil's heart swells.
Tommy just observed, slowly zoning out, trying to push out the pain in his head. I wonder when we'll have a 'father and son bond time' again… YOU KNOW WHAT NO. I don't want one, it's irritating how nice he is, when he expects so little from me, and it just makes my head hurt more.
It's his fault we're so distant... but it's also mine for not reaching his expectations...but I don't HAVE to, he clearly doesn't care, so why would he when I become MAGICALLY SMART AND THE SON HE'S ALWAYS WANTED.
*Snap Snap Snap*
"Tommy? You there?" Phil asked snapping his fingers in Tommy’s face.
Tommy looks up with a confused expression "Yeah sorry I was listening."
"What did I say then?" Phil said with low expectations.
"Uh- banquet to get good alliances with nearby kingdoms, you need our help to set it up for plans, yeah..." Tommy said with trying his best to remember.
"Ok, but you forgot the part where I said 'you Tubbo and Ranboo can work on indoor and outdoor garden decorations'. " Phil explained sternly.
"Oh." Tommy said
"You’re ok with that? Right?" Phil asked for conformation
"Y-yeah- Yah it's cool" Tommy managed to say with his head pounding. It's embarassing how his heart fluttered at his question. He asked out of such little concern and Tommy can't help but feel cared for.
Tommy just wanted to scream. He wanted to throw a tantrum to show them what they did to him. Was it really their fault though...? Tommy thought while digging his nails into his skin. If his nails were sharper it would've drawn blood. They're always switching up on him and he doesn't know how to feel.
"Ok run along now, some decorations are in the basement… you can start whenever, but before weekend you NEED to start. Alright?" Phil said with a kind smile.
"Yep!" Tubbo and Ranboo said at the same time.
Tommy just nodded and left first, his head was pounding and he just wanted to be alone.
~.~.~
"Tommy!" Tubbo shouted
Tommy turned around with his headache still with him as tears attempted to prickle his eyes, but he just swallowed them down. Tommy stared at Tubbo with a 'what' type of expression.
“...Me and Ranboo were about to check out the basement to match up some decorations, but we don't know if you want to come." Tubbo said and Tommy understood clearly he didn't want him there... but if he doesn't show up Phil might scold him for not helping...
"Uh yeah sure!" Tommy said with fake enthusiasm. Tubbo showed slight annoyance but was also kind of happy he was coming. "But I need to do something first so I’ll meet you two down there," Tommy said backing away proceeding to run.
Tubbo and Ranboo looked at each other with confusion until Tubbo broke that tension by taking his hand and skipping towards the basement. It wasn't exactly a basement, it was one of the many huge storing cellars. It's a castle, what do you expect?
~.~.~
While in the basement looking for decorations, Ranboo asked Tubbo something.
"Hey Tubbo..."
"Yeah big man?" Tubbo responded while looking around the basement.
"Don't you think Tommy's been off lately?" Ranboo knew something was up, he's been noticing how absent Tommy has been, both mentally and physically. In the moment he started thinking. Well, he's been noticing it for years but said nothing.
When was the last time Tommy cracked a joke, when was the last time he laughed obnoxiously but endearingly loud, when was the last time his eyes shone, when was the last time he called Phil dad? Tommy's getting more headaches these days and he can't remember the last time they truly hung out.
He knew Tommy didn't really hate him, it was just a part of the bond they had. Not anymore clearly, that bond is long gone, he ACTUALLY hates him now. Now this was either his bad memory or the concern for his friend.
"Nope!" Popping the 'P'. "I mean he does look down, but it's probably one of his attention seeking methods."
Ranboo took a small course in medical school when Tommy and Tubbo took him in to be a personal guard and knew a few things here and there. Now he was no therapist but even he could see the distance between him and his family, and knew his moods had something to do with that. He never had the courage to speak up about it, he was merely a servant and a friend.
~.~.~
Tommy ran to his room with the unbearable pain of his headache, desperate to take those pills Puffy gave him. Maybe they would soothe the pain and maybe sooth his mind too. Tommy hated pity but also thought he needed it sometimes. No, pity is for the weak and he's not weak.
He could see some concern in Ranboo's face, of course fuckin' Ranboo had concern. But then again he had more concern than his own considered brother.
Tommy sat in his bed looking at the pills Puffy gave him and decided to take one... Swallowed it dry.
*cough*
*cough*
*cough*
Maybe that was a bit dramatic,"Nope never-" he was interupted by a cough, "-Again, never again" The rasp in his voice told him to go drink some water and not be a dramatic bitch again.
His headache didn't become any better but he knew he would have to wait a while for an effect.
When he went to his window to look outside, he saw Techno and Wilbur sparring. You see, that's the problem. Everyone has someone to watch their backs, willingly. Tommy at this point had no one. He looked back to a few 'memories' over the years.
-
Wilbur playing Tubbo one of his new songs he had in the works. Keep in mind Tommy asked earlier but Wilbur refused. He was supposed to be happy that Tubbo got used to these accommodations, but it was the era where Wilbur was annoyed by him.
-
Techno offering RANBOO, yeah, RANBOO THE FUCKIN' SERVANT and not his actual brother to spar with him. Not to be used as a puppet, but to teach him. Tommy never got that offer. In fact, the offer he got was to be the puppet for Ranboo. Wasn't even an offer, it was more like a command.
-
Tommy looking through the living room looking at all of them, including Ranboo, in front of the fire place chattering their mouths off with laughter and love filling the air. Did they consider thinking about coming to check on him? To invite him?
-
They all had someone, they had each other. He flopped down on his bed thinking... Techno had Wilbur, Wilbur had Techno. Tubbo had Ranboo, Ranboo had Tubbo. Ranboo had Techno, Techno had Ranboo. Tubbo had Wilbur, Wilbur had Tubbo. Finally, they all had Phil and Phil had them. Tommy just couldn't fill himself in the dynamic anymore.
Sometimes he just wants to disappear. Does he want that? Or does he want to me found?
He unknowningly spent a bit more time in his room.
~.~.~
Walking in the halls, he wondered if Sam had any plans ready, Because Tommy was certainly ready to sneak out after dinner. He looked by a window he was passing, and the sun wasn’t setting yet. I mean, it is Summer, and the days are longer. He took a little detour into Sam’s room to ask about plans.
Geography is so fucking confusing when it comes to the Antartic.
Tommy knocked and Sam’s door and the door opened to reveal Sam looking at Tommy knowing damn well why he came.
"I'm guessing you want to know what I have in store for you, and going down to the village?" Sam said bluntly as he was focusing on a book.
Tommy became a tad bit uncomfortable wondering if he caught him at a bad time, or if he was getting annoyed at him.
"If this is a bad time I could come by later..." Tommy said with an awkward chuckle.
Sam let out a little laugh "No, no Tommy, now is fine, come in!" He gestured to the seat next to him.
He sat down and immediately asked " Sooo… anything?"
"You are way too impatient, you know."
"Glad you realized. Now what’s the plan?" Tommy said with a cheeky grin.
Sam chuckled, "Well... I’m a knight and, obviously for the time I’ve been working here, I know where the guards are and when their shifts rotate. So if you plan to leave anytime soon for a little air, I recommend just after dinner." Tommy listened attentively as Sam explained how to get out and get back in, hopefully without being caught.
Tommy let out a billowing breath, "Okay, sounds pretty easy. I can do this."
"But Tommy, before you run off without a care in the world, I’m warning you to be back before it's fully night. Please." Sam stated seriously.
"Don't worry boss man, you can trust me! They don’t call me ol’ ‘Tommy trusty’ for nothing!" Tommy got up and ran to the door. He took a halted abruptly and turned back to Sam.
"Thank you so much Sam…this means a lot."
Sam smiled warmly at the boy. "No problem Tommy."
Tommy ran out and left Sam praying to the Gods above that he hadn’t made a mistake.
~.~.~
Running happily to the basement, he slowed down as he neared, becoming sharply aware of his surroundings once more...he also realized his headache wasn't as bad anymore. It was still there, but not as bad. He could live with it.
Going down the stairs to the basement he realized Tubbo was already picking up a box full of matching decorations, so was Ranboo.
Walking towards him Tubbo snapped, "Oh, so now you arrive? It doesn't matter me and Ranboo already finished matching up decorations!" He then walked past Tommy, brushing past him aggressively.
Ranboo came up to him and said, "Sorry about him, he's just moody you left us to do the work. He also said “ Of course Tommy's not coming, about he's bUsY , f-ing liar, he's just lazy and thinks he's all that!'" Ranboo mocked poorly.
All Tommy could push out was an "Oh."
When did all this happen? He really had become as much of a nuisance as he thought. Did his first ever friend, and now 'brother' really say that? The one who he had trusted, should still be able to trust with his life, more than anyone else. His best friend? Well, he knew the sniveling Ranboo had taken that title years ago. Tommy didn't know what to think. From all the shit that happened over these 6 years, that was the one thing that tore from him a tear.
"I'm sorry I-" The taller tried apologizing
"Please go Ranboo, it's almost dinner time since I took that long, and I’m pretty sure Phil wants you there for dinner…he wouldn’t mind if I was missing though," Tommy said bitterly with some twisted feeling of regret.
Ranboo left silently, head down, whispering an ‘alright’. Ranboo knew he never meant that on purpose. He was just hurt about what Tubbo had said about Tommy. But he was also hurt by how Tommy said that…
Tommy was just in a good mood and Tubbo had to ruin it. He didn't mean to skip out, but he never knew he annoyed him that much... back then he didn't get this mad when he missed out on something by accident. Was Tommy really wanted around anymore? No, the question was ‘how much longer before he was gotten rid of completely.’
Tommy snapped out of his haze of self-pity and loathing as he remembered he had to be there for dinner.
Walking down the arched halls he hoped he never came off as rude to Ranboo, even though it was clear he did, but he didn't mean to. He was pissed. Don't get him wrong, he hated the guy’s guts, but it's only because he stole his best friend from him.
Tommy wondered if all of this was because Tubbo came. No… it couldn't be… when Tubbo first came it was all fine, amazing. They were inseparable. then his family started getting more short tempered with him…annoyed by simple mistakes they would have easily brushed over before, then they ignored him completely.
Tubbo though, Tubbo didn't get annoyed. He was the only person there for him. Then that Ranboob came, shy and fresh out of boot camp, and they bonded so tightly, that eventually, of course, Tommy was kicked to the curb.
So it wasn't his fault. Neither his family's. Maybe… it was his fault? For being such a failure. Always pissed off, loud teenager, never could learn anything. He was just… there. Being a pain in the ass.
Standing in front of the tall, dark oak doors his anxiety picks up. Why is he so anxious to see his own family? Oh right, they don't feel like family anymore. He was merely nervous since he's eating with the Royal Family. Not his.
Gathering his wits, he opens the door and, inside, waits. Wilbur was eyeing him with confusion while Techno looked at him blankly. That fucker never shows any emotion. Finally, Phil, looking at Tommy with that fatherly smile. Why does he do this? Switches up so often that I can't tell if I have a real father anymore. One second he scolds me, the next he showers me with love.
He stayed quiet, not making his usual entrance. It's not like he has for 6 years. Quietly sitting down beside Phil, he took in the area. Across from him, Techno was beside Wilbur.
Looking down at his food he realized didn’t feel that hungry. The eyes on him make him this close to shaking. Did Tubbo tell them I didn't come to help? Are they mad I didn't help him? What will they d-
"Well Tommy's quiet for once!" Wilbur jokes and chuckles.
Phil joins in with light playful laughter.
Techno, well he smiles a bit, but no signs of laughing.
Tommy sinks down in his seat, forming a pout on his face, knowing this is the first time they acknowledge his silence.
"Tommyyy, it was a joke! can you not take a joke anymore?" Wilbur said, amused.
He knows he means it in a joking type tension, but that cracked him a bit, seeing how they haven't truly talked one and one in years.
"Why so quiet, Tommy?" Techno asked curiously.
Well, I’ve been full on quiet for 6 years now, this is when you notice? "I'm fine, just tired." Tommy said, hints of his anger and hatred seeping into his voice.
Phil noticed his seemingly unprovoked annoyance and decided to make and impulsive decision. "Don't talk to your brother like that Tommy." Phil said sternly.
Tommy internally snapped. He didn't anything- all he did was give Techno the answer he wanted. "I gave him an answer, what did I do wrong?" Tommy defended bitterly.
Phil gave an angry, disdainful sigh.
Just then Tubbo and Ranboo burst through the door walking straight to Tommy. Towering over him, Tubbo had an angry annoyed look on his face and Ranboo just looked nervous and sad like he didn't want to be there. Ranboo gave a look to Tommy that said, 'I tried to stop him'. Tommy felt like he knew what was coming, getting scolded by his best friend right after his father.
"Tommy!" Tubbo shouted, "Why are you always so mean to Ranboo!?"
Tommy was angry, he knew why he was angry and why Ranboo was sad. After Tubbo insulted him earlier he just doesn't have the right to be mad about it? Clearly not.
"Sorry mister 'Tommy is so lazy and thinks he's all that', you fucking insulted me! I have a right to be annoyed at your hypocrisy!," Tommy argued, letting all the emotions of the day overwhelm his tone.
"Because it's true, you are lazy, and you think so highly of yourself all the time. It's fucking annoying and then you push it onto others!" Tubbo snapped, "You are so selfish sometimes and you never realize it!" He's tired of everything and thinks that he deserves to be aware of his acts. He knows that he took it too far but doesn't care.
Phil as the father, decided to step in. "Ok ok! Wait! What happened, explain."
"Tommy was being mean to Ranboo, for no reason and he came all sad to me telling me what Tommy said." Tubbo said first
"It wasn't a big deal; he wasn't in the mood since you-" Ranboo butted in but got cut off.
"It doesn't matter if hes 'not in the mood' '" Tubbo said, using air quotes. “He should apologize!"
Tommy just stayed quiet. He was well pissed. At Tubbo. At what he knew Phil was going to say. Making such a big deal out of it.
Phil sighed. "Say sorry to Ranboo, Tommy."
Tommy said in his lowest voice "I'm sorry Ranboo."
"Sorry!? I couldn't hear you!" Tubbo said, cupping his hands behind his ears.
Fine, if they want an apology they'll fucking get one, "I'm sorry Ranboo for having normal feelings of being angry after Tubbo decides to throw his bullshit at me!.” There. There's a fucking apology.
"Tommy did you really have to say it like that!?" Phil snapped, "You can never do anything right! Not even an apology. You can either sit Here like a decent human being or go to your room without dinner!" Tommy looked at Phil with eyes he's never seen before. Anger, disappointment, emotions he couldn't quite decipher.
They all just looked at Phil, knowing he took it too far. Phil himself took a second to calm down and realized what he said.
"Tom-" Phil tried apologizing.
Tommy just got up, dragging the chair scrape the hardwood floors and his held handkerchief fall to the floor. "Yeah, I’ll go, I know when I’m not wanted." He said it with a rasp in his voice and tears pricking at his eyes.
He's never wanted in anything he's just tolerated. Why don't others see that? They're aren't stressed or tired he's just never wanted.
Tubbo looked at Tommy, knowing he probably took it too far as well.
They all looked at Tommy as he left, feeling bad.
For the first time in six years, they finally noticed him in a way he wished they didn't.
Tubbo didn't know what to do, so he just stood there, empty eyes, looking at the door while Ranboo was fighting the urge to go check on him. Phil got up to go to his office to hopefully distract himself. Techno and Wilbur just sat there not knowing what to do.
Techno felt unusually bad, so decided to pay him a visit.
~.~.~
Tommy walked hastily to his room not wanting hear another word from them, tears running down the side of his cheeks, uncontrolled, with another headache that felt like a billion knives in his head at once.
All his conscious focus, aside from all the emotions whirling around his head like a tornado, was on trying not to trip and fall from the pain both mentally and physically. Once again thinking too much at once, he could hear the blood rushing through his veins and his head hurting like it was bleeding.
At the doors of the room was Sam looking directly at Tommy with scared eyes. Tommy didn't want to deal with anyone right now.
"Tommy... are you ok?"
"Does it look like I am Sam?" Tommy asked the oblivious Sam. "I just want to be alone please." He said sniffling.
"Okay. but if you need anything shout my name." He reassured
"Yeah," Tommy said, hurrying inside his room.
Closing his door, he flops on his bed gripping his head as tight as he can, hoping the pain would go away. He pulls his hands off to then be horrified by what he sees. Crimson stains on his hands, he rushes to his bathroom to look at the roots of his hair, and finding it slathered in scarlet.
It hurt so much, especially right here… He looks closely at the spot noticing a little bud popped out, like a small flower. Tommy wondered why the fuck flowers were coming out of his head. It didn't hurt as much anymore, but stung when he touched it.
He turned on the shower and put it at a warm-hot temperature, the heat of the steam around the room reminding him of the time he and his family used to sit by the fireplace and tell tales, mostly Techno’s Greek mythology stories that Tommy could never get tired of.
Tears tears tears, flowing down from his face. He misses his family, as much as he hates to admit it, he misses them dearly, even after all they did to him.
He turned the water even hotter as his skin went red.
After showering, Tommy pat the area around the small flower to hoping the blood flow stopped. It was still swollen around the area, but no more blood, thankfully. Walking out of the bathroom opening his drawer for the pills he hears a knock. Well who the fuck could that be.
"Tommy?" A deep monotone voice rings through his ears immediately knowing who it is.
Why is he here? Tommy hesitated to speak "Y-yeah?" He stuttered, closing the drawer.
"C-can I come in?" Techno knows he isn't good with comfort; he's trying his best here.
No I don't want you here but I miss you so much "Yeah I guess..."
Before Techno came in Tommy rapidly put on the closest hat he had around. Techno looked at Tommy like he wanted to say something. "Well? What?" Tommy said harshly.
"I-… I wanted to check if you were ok… after- Is that Wil's old beanie?" Tommy touched his head realizing he did in fact have on Wilbur's beanie.
"Yes, it is Wilbur’s beanie," Tommy said with his painful headache coming back. "Also no, I’m not okay, thanks for asking. What else you want me to say, Yes? After he shouted at me for being normal? As if I wasn’t his son?" Tommy said in a fierce tone. Although he misses him, he still is mad, and rightfully so.
"Yeah you’re right, what's up with you lately? It feels weird…" Techno said with honest curiosity, because now that he looks at it, something IS wrong.
Oh, I don't know maybe the fact you and those other fuckers have been neglecting me for the past 6 years? He wanted to say that, so bad… "Dunno Technoblade," was all he could get out, saying his full first name on purpose.
Techno raised an eyebrow trying to pinpoint what feels so wrong. "Do you want to... talk about it?" Techno to his surprise wanted him to say yes. When was the last time they talked?
Yes, please "Nah, if that's all you can go… Please stay” He said disdainfully.
"Tommy things feel so off are you sure-"
"Please, just go." Tommy said cupping his face.
"Are you o-"
"It's just a headache." Tommy said, putting down his hands and taking a shaky breath.
Techno's eyes widened for a second at his response. "Alright..." Then Techno left. looking at his brother one more time, wondering what the hell was going on.
Once Techno left, Tommy burst into all the tears that he was holding in, letting it all out. How could he feel so trapped in his own life?
He couldn't take it. He opened the drawer, took a pill, and put one in his pockets, just in case his head started hurting, and thought that it was about time he tried Sam's plan.
To the village.