Work Text:
“Hey, xiansheng,” Childe started tentatively. He’d been hesitant to bring up the topic before, but he decided to just come right out and ask.
They were out for lunch together, a habit that they had fallen into doing almost every day like clockwork. Even if they were busy, they would somehow make time to eat together. He would announce that he was going out for lunch every day to his subordinates before he left, and they only ever expected him to return at least an hour or two later. Zhongli, on the other hand, would sometimes forget that he needed to eat so Childe would have to go and pick him up from the funeral parlor. He didn’t mind having to go and get the consultant. But the way Zhongli often forgot to eat or sleep made Childe jokingly believe that he wasn’t even human.
Childe cherished these lunches. Zhongli would always hand him chopsticks, and Childe would struggle to use them. As hard as he would try, he would drop his food before he could bring it to his mouth. Then Zhongli would let out a fond sigh and scoot his chair closer to him so that he could reach over to his plate with his own chopsticks and feed him for a few bites before Childe asked for a fork.
Listening to Zhongli’s rambles (more like lectures, but he never minded one bit) about some kind of history and eating a warm meal made him feel like he was in a home away from home. He was an ocean away from his homeland, so this small comfort brought him endless joy.
But it would be pointless if Zhongli just saw this as some kind of chore, wouldn’t it? It would hardly be fair if he was the only one who was looking forward to these times.
Zhongli looked at him curiously, an unspoken question in his eyes.
“Um,” Childe looked down at his bowl. Those amber eyes would be the death of him. “Do you… like coming out and eating with me?”
“Yes, I find it quite enjoyable eating with you. Not many people would subject themselves to my long winded explanations every day.” Zhongli paused. “And even fewer people would be so lenient with my… tendency to forget money.”
Childe let out a small laugh behind his hand. “I think that’s just all part of your charm.”
“Is that so?” Zhongli hummed, going back to eating. Childe’s eyes wandered to his face. Zhongli looked peaceful, the definition of calm and collected. He almost looked unbothered by the whole thing.
“What about… me? Do you like spending time with me?” Childe fixed his eyes on his food. He didn’t want to see the expression on Zhongli’s face.
Zhongli made a noise of quiet contemplation. “Well, I’m not against your presence. I appreciate that you indulge me, regardless of the request or price tag.”
“Ah,” Childe choked out. Of course, he only saw him as some kind of wallet. He had more money than he knew what to do with, and Zhongli always forgot to bring money with him wherever he went. Not to mention that the other man was something of a shopaholic, easily tempted by anything that shone or had any historical value. Naturally, Childe had taken to paying for him.
His grip on his chopsticks tightened, but he didn’t let his smile falter. With a more-shaky-than-usual hand, he made an attempt to pick up his food. He kept his eyes locked on his bowl, not daring to look at the man sitting next to him.
If he had looked up though, he would have seen the shy tremble of Zhongli’s smile and a faint red blush dusting his cheeks.
~~~~~
Childe stared down at the paperwork in front of him, not really seeing what was written there. He’d read it about four times already and he still had no idea what was on it. He just couldn’t stop thinking about what Zhongli had said to him. It’s not like he wasn’t expecting something like that to come up. He just didn’t think that was all their relationship meant to the other man.
Suddenly the room felt suffocating and cramped. The four walls around him felt like they were getting smaller. He needed to get outside and blow off some steam. He stood up quickly, chair squeaking as it was shoved back.
He pushed his office door open, concealing a wince when it slammed against the wall. Ekaterina, bless her, merely blinked in surprise and glanced over at him.
“Sir?” Ekaterina didn’t push for more.
“I’m heading out for the day, Katya.” Childe tried to inject some enthusiasm in his voice. From Ekaterina’s concerned expression carefully hidden behind her mask, it was safe to say he didn’t succeed as well as he’d hoped. Damn, was he losing his touch? Perhaps he was starting to be a little too honest lately.
Childe pushed the doors of the bank open and stepped out into the bustling city. He had been living here for long enough to leave the crowded city without paying much attention to where he was going. So he just began to walk, letting himself be consumed by his whirlwind of thoughts.
Was it really all that surprising that Zhongli only saw him as some kind of wallet? All Childe did was pay for things and listen to the consultant’s enthusiastic rambles about anything that caught his interest. Hell, he even listened to Zhongli talk about the properties of rocks for an hour! If it was anyone else, he would have tuned them out or even shut them up with a blade. But with Zhongli, something made him listen with rapt attention, as if he would be quizzed about it at the end.
Was there something about him that was annoying? Well, that was no news to him. As the youngest of the Tsaritsa’s Harbingers, he was constantly looked down upon and mocked. Did he talk too much? He knew that whenever he talked about his siblings, he would always begin to ramble, much like Zhongli. Had the consultant found that irritating? Maybe it was the difference in their palates. Childe loved seafood and grew up ice fishing, so he adored any meal with fish in it. Zhongli, though, hated the sight or smell of fish. Would he be better company if he just ordered different food? No, he didn’t think that was it.
So then what was it? Was he just unlikable to be around?
That would explain why his father shipped him off to the Fatui at the ripe old age of fourteen to serve Snezhnaya.
Childe shook his head to clear his thoughts. He didn’t want to go down that rabbit hole of thinking. That was a line of thinking that he shouldn’t be having in public. After all, what would people think if a Fatui Harbinger started crying out of nowhere?
He looked around to make sure that no one had seen him in such an uncharacteristically vulnerable state. To his surprise, he had wandered so far that he was on one of Liyue’s beaches. Childe recognized this area. Zhongli had brought him here a few times.
Glancing down at the sand, he scanned the beach, looking for something very specific. A speck of blue caught his attention. Walking over to it, Childe reached down, slightly digging so that the blue object was uncovered.
A starconch.
The small blue shell glimmered in the sunlight. Childe brushed the sand off of it and picked it up. Zhongli had brought him to this beach before, though he forgot the exact name of it. Once, they had collected starconches for almost two hours. Childe still had a few of them in his apartment.
He put the starconch in his pocket. It was unbroken and in almost pristine condition. It would be a waste to just leave it there.
Childe walked along the beach, small waves lapping at his boots. He looked up at the twinkling stars in the dark sky. For a moment, he wondered if his siblings back home were looking up at the same sky. A small smile crept onto his face. It had been a week since he sent his last letter back home to his family. Maybe he’d write one and send it out tomorrow morning. He could send back some of the starconches that he had.
He looked up and saw an area that he didn’t recognize. Stone structures almost caged this area away from the rest of the beach, making it look more like a small island instead.
What was most exciting was the three ruin guards slumped over in a seated position. If they were to stand up, they would be almost three times his height. As he slowly approached them in quiet anticipation, they began to move.
He looked around at all three of the now moving figures, a small red light flickering to life at the top of them, about where a face would be if they had ones. Slowly, they all began to move, pushing themselves up until they were standing.
Childe leapt back, adrenaline rushing in his veins. He pulled his bow out, infusing the shot with hydro energy. He kept it cocked while he watched the robot-like mechanisms rise to their full height. He grinned in childlike glee, letting out a manic giggle.
This would be so much fun.
Once the ruin guards were stabilized, they took thundering steps. The ground shook with each resounding step. Childe aimed towards one of the guards’ glowing red light. That was the core of the machine. He’d fought these plenty of times, and they were always so entertaining. It reminded him of the one time he’d gone into a factory that manufactured these ruin guards with the traveler all because his brother wanted to see them.
He fired the shot, and the hydro-infused arrow hit the glowing red spot dead on. The ruin guard stumbled and Childe quickly fired another arrow. The light shattered and the machine fell to the ground. The other two guards turned to where Childe was standing. They both bent their legs and faced up towards the air, and he knew exactly what to expect.
He ran towards the ruin guards without a single care for his safety. Both still-standing guards spat out missiles that headed directly for him. Childe slid to the ground, narrowly avoiding them. He heard them crash into the sand behind him and explode.
Getting rid of his bow, he summoned twin hydro blades, dripping with hydro energy. He had used a bow because it was the only weapon that had not yet mastered, but for fights that were a challenge, he always fell back on his weapon of choice.
Leaping and dodging over and around the slow attacks of the guards, he rained his assault on the machine that he had incapacitated.
Soon, his giggles erupted into full blown laughter that left him breathless. It was the thrill of battle: the very thing he lived for. The excitement of being outnumbered and having to fight to survive made him feel so alive. He wouldn’t trade this feeling for the world!
He kept his eyes on the other two that were still up and moving, making sure that he had space to dodge their attacks. He moved around with practiced ease, dashing past attacks before they were even made.
But he failed to notice a fourth ruin guard appear from behind the stone structures. He felt more than heard the new guard because of its loud groundshaking steps. Before he could turn around to face it, Childe saw four missiles coming straight for him with the other three ruin guards already surrounding him.
Childe braced himself for the hit and squeezed his eyes closed. He crossed his arms in front of him to try and lessen the impact to his chest and face.
The missiles slammed against him and exploded, sending him flying back against the other machines. He let out a loud Snezhnayan swear as he clutched his arm. He could feel the blood dripping from his head and body. Childe pressed a hand against his chest. Yeah, he definitely had some broken ribs.
His legs shook under him and he collapsed pathetically to the ground, not unlike the guard he had shot at earlier. He took shuddering breaths, wincing slightly at the excruciating pain. He was sure he could get up soon.
Childe’s jaw tightened when he tried to stand again, but he fell back to the ground before he could even put weight on his feet. His vision became blurry and he couldn’t stop his eyelids from shutting. He put all of his effort into staying awake, forcing himself to open his eyes.
He could feel his consciousness starting to drift away. This was far from the first time that he had passed out. Childe forced his head to tilt to the side, where one of the guards was getting ready to attack again. He let out a defeated laugh. He got cocky.
Soon, his eyelids felt like they weighed ten times their normal weight. He succumbed to the pressure and let his eyes close. He swore internally. He was careless and now he was paying the price for it.
The last thing he heard before he completely lost consciousness was someone yelling his name.
~~~~~
Zhongli stared curiously at the sight of Childe leaving the city so late. It wasn’t like him to leave the city so late unless there was some kind of emergency. He wanted to ignore it because it was none of his business where Childe was going at night (though he so desperately wanted it to be his business), but he found himself standing up and following the younger man.
He considered calling out to get his attention, but he followed along silently. He had a gut feeling that something was wrong. Childe hadn’t noticed him, but Zhongli could see the troubled expression on his face.
Zhongli followed in interest as Childe made his way to the beaches. What was he doing here? He kept his distance, not wanting to disturb the man. He watched as Childe picked up a starconch and looked up at the sky.
His breath caught in his throat when he saw the peaceful and genuine smile on Childe’s face. Childe had always smiled around him, but this one was so raw and real that it almost took Zhongli off guard. What was he thinking about to smile like that, he couldn’t help but wonder. Would it be too selfish to hope that Childe was thinking about him?
Before he could dwell on that thought for too long, Childe continued along the beach. Then he watched as Childe wandered into a structure where ruin guards lay motionless unless movement was detected. Zhongli stepped forward, ready to call out and warn him, but he stopped himself.
Childe had always loved a fight and had proved himself very capable time and time again. So he stayed where he was and allowed Childe to fight to his heart’s content. If things got out of hand, he could always jump in and stop things.
But his anxiety would not be relieved, so Zhongli pulled his spear out just in case. He had quick reflexes, of course. He had to have quick reflexes. After all, he was the Warrior God and had fought in the old Archon War. He knew he would have to tell Childe about this part of his identity eventually. Was he betraying the young Snezhnayan by not saying anything? He hoped not.
A loud swear pulled him out of his thoughts. He looked over at Childe to see how he was faring and his heart slammed against his chest.
There was Childe, slumped against one of the ruin guards, bleeding all over.
Without hesitation, he ran into the clearing to distract the ruin guards, yelling out Childe’s name. The ruin guards all turned to face him and began to stumble towards him. He harnessed his geo energy and the clear dark sky became cloudy and dusty. A large meteor fell from the sky, crushing the guards where they stood.
He spared the guards a quick glance to make sure that they were actually down before he ran over to where Childe’s unmoving body lay.
“Childe!” Zhongli fell to his knees, pulling Childe’s head up to rest on his lap. Zhongli moved his hands and his gloves were stained with blood. “Childe, are you alright?”
Childe’s breathing was shaky and he let out a harsh cough. His eyes were still closed.
“...li?” Childe’s raspy voice shook him to the core. He hated hearing that brittle call for death. He had heard it far too many times in his long, long lifetime. Zhongli didn’t want to hear it from Childe so soon.
This man dying in front of him… How old could he be? His early twenties? He couldn’t be older than twenty-five. And yet here he was, fighting for his life.
“Childe, open your eyes. You will be alright. I’ll take you to the pharmacy. Baizhu can help you and you’ll be alright. Just stay awake.” Zhongli lightly slapped Childe’s face to keep him awake.
Childe’s face scrunched up in pain and his eyes slowly opened. Zhongli let out a shaking sigh of relief.
“Zhong...li? Is that you?” Childe spoke softly. Zhongli hated the quiet tone of voice. He wanted to hear Childe’s rambunctious anecdotes about his siblings. He wanted to hear his loud laugh again.
“Yes, I’m here. I’m taking you to get medical attention.” Zhongli began to shift so he could pick Childe up. But a gentle hand on his face stopped him instantly.
“You already know it’s pointless.” Childe’s hand fell as soon as it rose. “There’s no way we’ll make it back in time.”
Zhongli knew that. He could tell from the moment Childe started speaking. But he couldn’t just sit and watch another person he cared about die right in front of him. He wasn’t sure how much more death he could handle.
“Hey,” Childe whispered. Zhongli’s vision became watery. “I didn’t think I’d see you here.”
“Why wouldn’t I?” Zhongli took Childe’s hand in his. He held onto the hand tightly, but it sickened him how there was no resistance.
“Didn’t think you cared.” Childe closed his eyes. “Thought I was the only one.”
“I care far too much than I should.” Zhongli pressed a chaste kiss to Childe’s hand.
“Hey, xiansheng… can you do me a favor?” Childe’s eyes opened slightly.
“Anything.”
“Can you… take care of my family?” Childe coughed again, blood splattering from his mouth. “And… remember me. That’s all I want.”
“Of course. It’s the least I can do.” Zhongli shut his eyes. He couldn’t bear the sight of Childe like this.
“Am I that bad to look at?” Childe laughed weakly. Zhongli shook his head, opening his eyes again.
Childe looked up at him with a smile. Zhongli let out an exasperatedly fond sigh. “Quite the opposite.”
“Thanks,” Childe let out a broken laugh, “for everything.”
“Rest now, baobei. You will forever shine like gold in my memories.” Zhongli closed Childe’s eyelids with his free hand. “May Celestia welcome you with open arms and treat you like royalty.”
Zhongli sat there with Childe on his lap, breathing as silently as he could. But when he felt Childe exhale his last breath and his body went completely limp, he screamed.