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The morning is far more stressful than Cole had imagined it'd be. In his head, marriage - and by extension, weddings - always seemed so simply, so easy.
A formal declaration of love, in a little ceremony, and that's that. A nice, celebratory beginning to the rest of his life.
The planning had been somewhat panicking, with far more choices than he'd imagined (is the colour of a table cloth really that important?), but there was still an element of being chilled out, casual. Neither he nor Jay were too picky with decorations or seating layouts, as long as they would be up there, together, exchanging rings.
He's barely been awake for ten minutes, and already Cole feels sick with worry.
There's no real reason for it, not really, he's just sitting eating cereal, Zane and Kai opposite him. No stress, just three guys hanging out.
No stress. His wedding is supposed to be exciting and joyful and the happiest day of his life.
"So after I finish my coffee, I'll go help with the final set up of the venue and-"
"I think I chose the wrong suit." Cole interrupts Kai as one of his many fears slips from his tongue without permission.
Zane blinks at him. "What?"
"I think - It's just wrong. Maybe. You know, uh, the tie's - the colour's all wrong, and the cut's weird, and -"
"Dude." Kai furrows his brow. "Your suit looks fine. Maybe you're misremembering it. It looked good! Go put it on."
"Already? Isn't that - Isn't it too early? I could spill something on it."
"Cole." Zane eyes him critically. "Are you okay?"
"Of course. Obviously. I'm getting married to the love of my life. More than okay." He tries to get those words to mean something, but it doesn't work. Maybe he's broken.
Oh fuck. No. Can't think like that.
He stands, shoving his empty bowl in the sink. "I'll go dress."
He tries to ignore the confused looks his two friends exchange.
Not seeing each other until arriving at the altar had been a mutual decision, inspired by old tales of cursed marriages and the idea that it'll make their first look at each other more impactful, more romantic or something.
As Cole fumbles with his shirt, he's already missing his better half. Wants to rush everything, all the prep, all the nonsense and unnecessary fanciness, just so he can have Jay in his arms. But that'd be unfair, Jay seems so giddy over everything, and Cole doesn't wanna be the one to curse their marriage, doom it before it's even begun just because he's having some minor stress.
Weddings are supposed to go like this. It's just how it works.
As he stares at his reflection, the shirt seems to have more and more faults. It looks too neat, then too creased, then too many buttons, not enough, a weird colour, or maybe it's his pants that are weird, is the fabric right or should he have opted for linen, or silk, or...
Cole shoves his thoughts down, and slips on his tailored jacket. Again, he feels his appearance warp, not being good enough, and there's a pang in is chest telling him that he'll let Jay down. Disappoint him.
Maybe he looks so bad that Jay will reject him at the last moment.
He shakes the image away, and starts combing his hair.
It's fine. He's fine. Happiest day of his life.
"See. You look great." Kai reassures the moment Cole returns to them. "Nya's just texted to tell me she and Jay are getting ready, then they're gonna pick up his parents."
The earth ninja nods. "And Lloyd's definitely got the rings?"
"Of course he does." Zane pats Cole's shoulder gently. "Feeling better?"
"Obviously. I, uh, wasn't feelin' bad in the first place." The lie comes easy, but it makes Cole's stomach turn uncomfortably.
Why is everything so shitty? Is he just a bad person?
He'd been the one to propose, of course he wants to get married, it doesn't make any sense.
Why isn't he more excited?
Their venue is a quaint little place near some forest. Quiet, small, and pretty, not much needed to get it wedding ready.
When Cole walks in, his shiny black shoes squeak a bit on the hardwood floor, and it makes his teeth feel foreign. Hopefully that doesn't happen during the ceremony, that'd be shit.
There are candles, and tastefully curated bouquets, a few rows of seats, an ornate white arch at the front, where Cole will be standing in just a few hours.
In front of people, in his potentially ugly suit, surrounded by flowers that he's chosen incorrectly, and he'll fuck up all of his words, a tongue-tied mess in front of everyone, and Jay will say 'I don't'.
As if things couldn't get any worse, Cole spots a far-too-early guest bossing Zane around, telling him to adjust chair placements.
After a deep breath Cole approaches, his guest putting on a bright beam when noticed.
"Cole! I was just saying to Zane here, that-"
"Dad. Please." Cole folds his arms at Lou. "You're way too early."
"I figured my boy could use some help with some last minute prep! Really Cole, these seats are just - Is this really the plan you're going with?"
"They're fine. Great, even. Stop telling Zane what to do."
Lou looks him up and down, and places a hand on Cole's shoulder, smoothing his jacket slightly.
"Already getting a bit scruffy, hm?"
"I thought I looked fine-"
"This reminds me of your mother and I's wedding." Lou doesn't acknowledge his words at all, though Cole can hardly be surprised by that. "At least, that's what I wish I could say. This place is so small! Tell me the reception's somewhere else, I can't imagine having to stay here. And really darling, I expected you to have at least a bit of taste. These colours were in fashion five years ago, now it just looks tacky."
Cole pinches his arm, and looks away. "Oh."
"Oh? Mm, I suppose this is what happens when you're put in charge of something. I don't even want to imagine what your mother would say if she was here. If you needed help with this, you should've just come to me!"
"We don't exactly have the budget to... Jay and I wanted, uh, we didn't think-"
"I can tell." Lou snorts. "Let me adjust your bow tie. You've knotted it wrong."
"Dad-"
Without further warning, Lou just steps in and fiddles with the cloth around Cole's neck, the ninja shifting uncomfortably.
"There we are. Much better."
The fabric's so tight, Cole's convinced he'll choke. But he just nods.
He supposes his father has always been better at this kind of stuff.
"So, what's your first dance going to be? Ballroom, waltz, salsa?"
"Uh, we were just gonna-"
"You were never really built for salsa though, so I'd hope you wouldn't go for that one. Obviously it boils down to song choice and genre, so I'd hope it would be a classical instrumental, I've brought you up to appreciate that. Looking at your suit, I'd say you're aiming for ballroom. Right?"
"We didn't really - We're just gonna slow dance. I didn't want it to be too technical, uh-"
"So many hesitations boy! You best not be like this during your vows, I'd die of embarrassment."
Cole opens his mouth to reply, trying to ignore the way his cheeks are burning furiously, but Kai grabs his arm.
"So good to see you Lou, I just need to borrow Cole for a few minutes."
There's no chance for anyone to speak before Kai tugs Cole away, ushering him into a different room, and pointedly closing the door behind him.
"I fucking hate your dad."
Cole laughs, once more ignoring his growing dread.
He sees Ed and Edna arrive later, Nya at their side, and they smile once they see him.
Edna wraps him in a hug tightly, Cole responding with an equally firm grip.
"You look lovely Cole!" She beams, and rubs his arm. "Ooh, your jacket is gorgeous."
"Th-Thanks. You two are also - also dressed nice."
Edna laughs, and squeezes her husband's hand. "Thank you dear. I do think you and Jay are the best dressed though."
Cole relaxes a little. "I hope so. Jay okay this morning?"
"Just a few jitters. Completely normal, we all get them." Ed tilts his head slightly. "You alright? Your bow tie's looking a little choke-y."
Cole tugs at it slightly. "Uh. My dad- He..."
At the mention, Edna's lip tightens by a fraction, and Ed nods, stiff.
Cole clears his throat, an attempt to salvage the awkwardness that seems to come up in situations like this. "Um. Anyway. Thank you for coming."
"Of course. Wouldn't miss it for the world." Ed looks around. "This place looks incredible. Jay mentioned you had quite a big part in it."
"Uh. I did? I kinda thought- figured we were both equally... Jay chose- Oh." Cole's lungs twist. Oh fuck.
Fuck.
Had he really controlled all aspects of their wedding?
This is so much worse than his suit being shit.
Gods, he's a horrible husband, and they're not even married yet.
He splutters a goodbye, and moves off in a hurry.
It's fine. It's fine. Everything is fine.
Nya follows him.
"You alright? That goodbye was out of nowhere."
And she raises such a good point, it didn't fit in with the conversation at all, his in-laws will hate him forever.
"I... Yeah, fine, sorry."
The water ninja shakes her head. "Cole. Kai and Zane both said you were acting weird. And you haven't even said hi to Lloyd."
"Huh? When did Lloyd get here?"
"A while ago." She points, and sure enough, the blond is there, talking to Wu.
Cole waves at him awkwardly. He offers a thumbs up in return.
"Shit. Sorry. I've just been- I don't know. Uh. How's Jay?"
"Jay's fine. Just chilling in the backroom or something. That wedding tradition stuff is dumb, by the way."
"I don't wanna curse-"
"Seeing each other isn't gonna ruin anything." Nya rolls her eyes, and squeezes his shoulder. "Seriously Cole. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. I'm fine." The lie tastes metallic. He ignores it. "I get to marry Jay. It's great. Good time. Happy."
They're still walking as they talk, and because Cole's a fucking idiot, he bumps into a table.
Ordinarily, not a bad thing, everyone bumps into tables sometimes.
However, this is a table with several glasses of wine and champagne already set up. Cole's bump was vigorous.
He has to bite his tongue to stop himself from bursting into stress-fuelled tears as his shirt, so crisp and white, is soaked with alcohol, a red stain that will be fucking hell to get out.
Nya badly stifles a chuckle, and it nearly tips Cole over the edge.
"I need to - Uh... Go clean this."
"You want any help?"
"No. No. Just... go mingle with guests or something."
Cole's been scrubbing woefully at his shirt in the restroom for far too long, and it's going horribly.
With the lack of proper laundry equipment, he's had to resort to using the soap dispenser and a shallow sink basin, standing uncomfortably shirtless as his fingers are scalded by hot water.
His shirt is not faring very well. The stain has faded in colour, yes, but it's also spread to the entire left half, and keeps getting bigger the more Cole 'cleans' it.
He doesn't even know how long he's been standing here, desperately trying to make things okay.
It's all falling apart. His suit is fucked, he'd taken control of the whole wedding planning without knowing it, his vows are gonna be horrible because he can't stop stuttering...
Fuck.
He breaks.
Here, right next to a toilet cubicle, he can't fight it any longer and he sobs, realises he's broken for not enjoying his wedding more, and sobs some more.
There must be something wrong with him. Does this mean he's a bad person?
The water's getting cold again, but his shirt is still stained pinkish-red, and god, he's sweating, everything is horrible.
But he can get himself together, for Jay.
It's alright. For Jay.
The bathroom door squeaks open after another amount of time. Cole's lost track of it all, all that matters is getting this shirt clean, so he doesn't disappoint Jay. So that even if it isn't his happy day, it can be Jay's.
There are slight footsteps, but Cole doesn't look up. Just a guest who's seeing one of the grooms lose his sanity over a shirt. It's fine, maybe they'll gossip, maybe he can pretend he's not a groom, and just an unlucky passerby.
"Cole."
He squeezes his eyes shut immediately.
"Jay, I'm not supposed to see you yet! Wait for ceremony, we can look then, I don't wanna-"
"Cole. Honey. The ceremony was supposed to happen two hours ago."
And fuck, if that isn't the most horrible thing he's ever heard. Despite himself, he opens his eyes.
"What?"
And the rasping of his voice hurts, his throat constricting ever tighter.
"You've been in here for two hours? Baby, your hands..." Jay leans over, and pulls Cole's hands out of the water, tugging the shirt from his grip.
Cole notes the sting of blisters he hadn't realised were there.
He still hasn't looked at Jay though. It's alright, he can rescue this, no cursed marriage on his watch.
On the other hand, he seems to have missed the whole wedding part. What the fuck is wrong with him?
"I'm sorry." Cole blinks quickly to try and stop another onslaught of tears. "I'm sorry I - Fuck, Jay, I'm sorry, I didn't mean- I'm sorry, I can fix this. I can. I'll, um. I'll- I don't know. I don't know."
"Sh. It's alright." Jay rubs his bare back gently. "Aren't you cold? Where's your jacket?"
"I - I was getting stressed, I took it off so I didn't sweat- That's gross, sorry, I'm... Jay. I didn't mean to lose track of time, I thought- I don't know."
"No sorrys. It's okay. I see it now, let me just grab that."
Silence hangs in the air, as Jay grabs the jacket, then wraps it around Cole's shoulders.
He kisses Cole's neck gently. "Look at me."
"I can't. It's bad luck. I've already - already fucked up enough."
"We both know it's a silly tradition. And I'd take bad luck over leaving you alone, any day." Jay loops his arms around Cole's chest. "We don't have to get married. It's okay."
"What?" Cole twists. "No, no! I wanna get married. I do, I just-"
He cuts himself off. He's turned. He's looking at Jay.
"You're - you look gorgeous."
And he does. He looks so, so good in a suit.
"Thank you." Jay leans up, and plants a kiss on Cole's lips. "You look godly, but I don't like other people ogling your abs. I think you need a shirt."
"I was trying to fix it."
"I know baby. Don't worry. There's bound to be a spare someplace. If you still want to do this."
"Of course I do! Jay, I - I want this so much. I love you, I wanna marry you, I just don't - I don't understand what's wrong. I've just been worried, and I've done everything wrong, and I didn't let you join in on the wedding planning, and now I've fucked up big time. Maybe I'm the wedding curse."
"Cole." Jay leans against him. "I'm pretty sure it's normal to be stressed over this stuff. You're not cursed. Mess ups happen. You asked me plenty of times to help out with planning, but I just wanted to let you do your own thing because you seemed hyped over it. And everything you've organised is great. If I'd known you were worrying, I would've - would've given you a hand. But I don't need a perfect wedding Cole. I understand you do, obviously, and I get that you're upset things haven't met expectations, but it's alright. I love you, and if you want to ditch this one and start over to make things better for you, we can do that. I can wait."
"I - Jay. I just want to skip this stuff. I know we have to do it, yknow, I get that, I just wish I could fast forward it and be married and... I don't know."
Jay shakes his head slightly, small smile on his face. He reaches up, caresses Cole's cheek. "Honey. We don't have to do any of this. If you don't want it, we can just file the paperwork. No big event, none of this stress. Just us and a pen."
"But do you want that?"
"Cole. I'd marry you anywhere. Any situation. Wouldn't even hesitate."
"Babe..." Cole squeezes Jay's hand. "I feel like an idiot. All the money - We've wasted everyone's time. My... My dad's gonna be so disappointed."
"Your dad is lame."
Cole laughs bitterly, nodding.
"Don't worry about anyone else. Forget about the money. It's turned into a little party out there anyway. People are fine. This is about you and me, and being comfortable." Jay entwines their fingers. "I've got your back."
"Are you sure?" Cole rests his forehead to Jay's.
"You'd do the same for me. I'm sure."
Cole nods, and closes his eyes. "Alright. I'd - I'd prefer that."
Jay beams and kisses him again.
It's done. No fuss, no fanfare. Just two signatures on a dotted line.
Cole stares at it. Their marriage certificate.
He smiles as Jay hugs him tightly, and he peppers a few kisses to the top of his head.
"I love you."
"I love you too Cole." Jay's voice is soft. "Forever and always."
Cole holds him tenderly.
"Forever and always."