Chapter Text
Lumine loved gazing at Childe's profile when he's not noticing. In these precious moments, the contour of his face and the gaze in his blue eyes were serene and gentle, making him less a warrior and more an ordinary young man.
Childe's ginger brow formed a slight frown as he cleaned the blood stain on his scarf using hydro element. When he finished, he stumped at the ground arbitrarily on leather boots.
"This place is pretty dead. By which I mean... there's nothing to kill." He complained. There, the moment fled away.
“Nothing to kill anymore, Tartaglia.” Lumine sighed. “If you realized, we just cleared this whole area inside out ten minutes ago.”
Childe threw his head back and laughed at her words. “So true, comrade. That’s why I love having you by my side — I know I can always go to you when the trip becomes boring.” Lumine shook her head and drew out her blade. Childe would always manage to talk her into another sparring. So be it, if she could somehow appease his thirst for blood.
Lumine focused intensely, and controlled her reflex as precise as possible. Unfortunately, despite her will, the strength in her muscles began to slip away. A few hasty, abrupt slashes in, Childe closed off the distance and towered over her. He seemed to have lost his initial interest and just wanted to get it over with. Without the usual laughters or taunts, Childe pushed the boundary with dangerous silence. With a flicker of his wrist, Lumine's weapon was knocked off her hand, brining a premature conclusion to the sparring.
“You’re not giving it all out today, comrade.” Childe said in a disappointed voice as Lumine sat onto the grass, still panting.
"Too bad I did not. Why, I was exhausted."
He shook his head. "But it is the only way to become stronger - to push your own limit. You must become stronger, comrade."
There he went again, lecturing her to become stronger like him. Hearing Childe talking like that always made Lumine snappish for some reason.
"Not to be self-satisfied, but I think I can take care of things well enough in combat." Lumine said sarcastically. "Besides, I consider myself a traveler, not some single-minded battle maniac who —-"
Who races forward blindly, having no idea about his destination yet couldn't wait to reach it, like a meteorite across the sky, cannot wait to hit the earth and burn to ashes --
The last words stuck, creating a lump in her throat. Lumine lowered her eyes. "Why does this have anything to do with you?" She said quietly. "Is me becoming stronger the only way that makes me worthy to be by your side?"
Silence.
Then Lumine heard his voice, so deep as if he's talking from the bottom of the ocean. "I once walked in places that knew no starlight. Underneath the abyss, space was nothing but dark void, and time was stretched to infinity. At that place, the only way to certify your own existence is by wiping out that of others."
"One day, I am bound to return there. To behead the beast that chilled my bone. But you cannot follow me down that path, comrade. Not if you cease to become stronger."
Childe's answer only verified her fear. That despite that they had done commissions together, cooked together, and camped together, they were not really travel companions, but rather eye witness of each other's journey. The endless battle and danger Childe chased after... it was a fate she could not understand.
Their paths were meant to diverge one day. The fact stung more than it should.
"What if I don't want you to become stronger?" Lumine whispered, feeling the lump in her throat getting more and more painful.
She felt like sobbing but was suddenly seized by a burst of coughing. Waves after waves of unspeakable emotions flooded over her body, threatening to break free.
"Lumine?" Childe turned around, and saw her bending down, coughing petals into her palms.
------
She coughed beautiful petals -- strangely enough, it was the first thought Childe had when he found out about Lumine's Hanahaki symptom. At first sight, those were plain white petals, but under the sunlight they turned translucent, glistening with azure blue that resembled butterfly wings.
Childe knelt beside her, waited till her trembles appeased.
"My fault, ojou-chan." He said, handling over a handkerchief. "I shouldn't have pushed so hard today. Do you need more rest? I can find something to whip up a snack for you."
Lumine smiled faintly and shook her head. "I'm fine, but thanks. It's almost evening anyway; let's just head back to Liyue Harbor and call it a day."
"Of course, ojou-chan." Childe said with eagerness. "Which restaurant do you like? The bill's on me. - Wanmin Restaurant, maybe?"
"Sure, why not." With that they teleported back to Liyue Harbor, and neither of them commented on the petals she coughed.
------
Childe could be very warm and considerate if he wanted to be. He knew that eating at a friend's place would distract her and make herself more at ease, Lumine thought. She was also grateful that Childe did not make a fuss about her coughing flowers.
"Lumine, Childe! Nice seeing you again!" Xiangling greeted them with a huge smile after they took seat in a corner. "Lumine, you gotta try my new specialty. With Guoba's help I just creates a marvelous flavor that combines Jueyun Chili, Flame Flower Stamen, Tofu and Bamboo shoot ---"
"Thanks for the offering, Xiangling. But today might not be the best day for spicy dish." Childe commented quickly, "Can we have something that is mild to throat instead?"
"Aw, did someone catch a cold? I can make herbal..." Xiangling's voice were cut as Lumine covered her mouth again, attempting to muffle the coughs. Still, a petal managed to escape her fingers, twirling in air before dropping onto the table. Laying under the light, the glimmering petal looked like a delicate artifact.
Xiangling gasped. "Oh no... I'll add triple-layered Consommé to your order." She quickly hugged Lumine over her shoulder, meant as a comfort. "Don't be afraid, Lumine... I am sure Dr. Baizhu can cure the Hanahaki disease in no time. No need to worry..."
With that Xiangling hurried to the kitchen, mumbling something to herself. Lumine sighed and turned to Childe.
"How bad is it, my Hanahaki disease?"
Childe raised his eyebrow, surprised at her upfront question. "It depends," he picked his words cautiously, "Hanahaki disease is caused by one-sided romantic feelings, but what really makes it dangerous is the secondary emotions: longing, jealousy, possessiveness, hopelessness... Those bitter emotions feed on the love-yearning mind, and in turn provides nutrition to the infected gland in the chest, where the flowers bloom. What is fatal is not really flowers blocking the respiratory system...but rather, the conviction that one can ever earn the love they desired."
"Tartaglia, you are... rather knowledgable about the pathology." Lumine commented as nonchalantly as possible. Did he ever catch it, too?
Childe let out a dry laugh. "As a Harbinger, I had to witness quite a few of my subordinates catching it. Their voices were so hoarse that they could barely reply to orders. Withered petals piled up under their bunks." He grimaced and gazed out of the window. "I gave them two days to decide. Either they solidify their vows to Her Majesty and have the hanahaki-infected gland removed by surgery, or they quit the Fatui."
Childe rarely brought up topics about the Fatui, Lumine thought. But for the rare occasions when he did skirt around the topic, he always sounded... indifferent. It's like he had resigned to the fact that, to enjoy the benefits of being a Harbinger, he had to withstand the boring, cumbersome parts of the package as well.
"I had to do this," Childe said suddenly, who mistook her silence for disapproval. "There's no room for the second-hearted and weak-minded in the Fatui. When the Tsartisa herself had severed her love and gentleness, what does it matter if we give up our own romantic interest?"
Not until we reach that stainless dawn, he once said so as his finger traced over the edges of his cold, sharp bow.
Conviction that one can never earn the love they desire? Tartaglia, you are making it more than difficult.
"Well, thanks for the debrief on Hanahaki disease." Lumine managed. The dishes had arrived, and Lumine dug into the food. She locked her focus onto the rim of the plate, holding back the tears that threatened to emerge from the corner of her eyes.
Then Childe's hand landed on her shoulder, urging her to look at him.
"Comrade, you deserve better than being trapped by a Hanahaki disease. I have no idea who is that person, but you should be confident about telling them how you feel. Or if you'd rather - well, you know Dr. Baizhu is renowned for handling all kinds of peculiar diseases. My - my point is, you have important purpose for this journey. So don't let it slow down your steps - or stop you from becoming stronger-"
Biting at the tip of her tongue, Lumine finally drove back all the tears. She looked up with a smile.
"Thanks for the advice, comrade."
The almond tofu had a sweet and mellow flavor, but even that was not enough to undo the bitter taste of petals smearing in her mouth. A taste of conviction.
Oh, Tartaglia, you have no idea.