Work Text:
"Hal, stop glaring at your food." Barry whispered to the emerald gladiator, who was prodding at his cranberry jell-o.
"God, I hate eating turkey. Why can't we have ham? I'm a ham kind of guy." Hal groaned, shaking his head. The Justice League were once again invited to another Justice Society thanksgiving dinner, and hopefully, they weren't going to any more shenanigans. "Couldn't they bought some ham?"
"Shut up and eat your turkey, Jordan." Bruce grunted, shooting the Lantern a look.
Clark sighed in nostalgia as he looked at his green beans. "Reminds me of my own Thanksgiving. Ma always liked making the green beans so tender. She also made a mean pumpkin pie."
"Too bad the Kents don't have enough room for us." Barry sighed.
"We have a barn, but well, I'm not sure everyone would like their dinner in there." Clark shook his head. "What with the smell in there and all..."
"I'm sure that we can manage," Diana assured him, while shooting a pointed look at Hal and Oliver.
"What? I'm not complaining. I can stand being-" The bearded archer yelped as Hawkman flung his dressing at his face. "Oh, you son of a pigeon!" He grabbed his peas and flung them at Hawkman, but hit Kendra in the face instead. "Oh, shit, sorry!"
"Damn it!" Hawkgirl shrieked, glaring at Oliver and tossing her pumpkin pie at him. He ducked and it hit Hal in the face.
"HEY!" Hal shouted in anger as he grabbed some mashed potatoes and flung it at her. Unfortunately, it hit Wildcat in the face. Wildcat growled and flung his own ashed potatoes back at him, but his aim was off as it landed in Power Girl's cleavage.
Bruce narrowed his eyes. "Lantern-" He was cut off as a piece of pumpkin pie hit the back of his head, causing him to turn around and glare at the offender. "...Barry."
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-" Barry yelped as he got hit in the face by peas by Power Girl. "Hey!"
"Not again..." Jay groaned as he watched the table devolve into chaos.
Dinah grabbed some cranberry jell-o and belted Oliver in the face. "Take that!"
"OW! Pretty bird!" Oilver whined.
"Serves you right-OW!" Dinah yelped as she got hit in the face by dressing. She turned to the person in front of her. "Clark!"
Clark shrugged helplessly. "It wasn't me!"
Diana flinched as she got hit in the back of the head by green beans. "Hal Jordan..." She frowned at him.
"Sorry, princess!"
"Not again..." Dick groaned, looking at the JLA and JSA food-fighting. "Is this going to be a thing now? Please, someone tell me."
Tim sighed. "I don't know. I don't know why they act like this on Thanksgiving. I don't even know why this is a thing." He saw Bart run towards the table, laughing. "Oh, god no. Kon, Cassie, stop him!"
Conner and Cassie rushed after him, hoping to catch him, but received pie in the face for their troubles. "Damn it, Bart!" Cassie shouted, wiping the pie off of her face.
"Well, at least he's having fun." Conner shrugged.
"This is stupid." Damian hissed, glowering at the food fight before him. "Why is this happening again, Grayson?"
Dick let out a mewl. "I don't know, Dami. Don't ask me..." He placed his hands onto his face, groaning. "At least it can't get any worse than this..."
Suddenly, Starfire flew in, carrying mustard bottles in her hands and began to squirt at everyone at the table. "I am here for the food wars! Prepare yourselves!" She shouted jubilantly with a big smile.
"Hey, that's not fair!" Jon shouted. "She can't do that!"
"Kori, no!" Dick shouted.
Wally zipped into the room and watched the scene. "Okay, definitely should've did our thanksgiving..." He saw Barry being pelted with peas by Stargirl. "Wow, that's gonna leave a mark."
Donna groaned as she shook her head. "Let's go and stop them from ruining Thanksgiving further..." She made to move towards the table, but she covered herself from rapid-fire pumpkin pie. "Ugh! Damn it!"
"BART, I SWEAR TO-" Cassie shrieked as she got a big glob of mashed potatoes onto her eyes. "DAMN!"
Conner laughed loudly at Cassie until he got hit by some collard greens in the face. "Aw, man!"
Arthur shouted loudly as Starfire blasted him with her mustard. "Who brings mustard to a fight?!" The sea king shouted.
"Hey, mustard goes great with turkey." Hal replied, only for Alan to chuck a slice of ham at his face. "Agh! What the fuck?! You guys had ham the whole time?!"
Damian yowled as he was sprayed with mustard. "Stop it! Stop it now!"
Beast Boy entered the room, wielding ketchup bottles in his hands. "All right, this has gone far enough. I'm givin' you one chance to drop the mustard, and one chance only. Or prepare to get splattered by tomato sauce. Now draw-" He quickly dodged the mustard attacks, letting them hit Cyborg and Raven, who entered behind him. "Y'ALL ASKED FOR IT!" He shot off blasts of ketchup into the air.
"Don't worry, Dami! I'll avenge you!" Jon flew off to grab a mayo bottle in the kitchen.
Dick clutched the box to himself protectively. "Guys! Not helping!"
"All right, Hawk Boy! The time has come for your grandson to meet his grandaddy!" Oliver grabbed the turkey and made a beeline to Carter, fire in his eyes. "Here he comes!"
"Try it and die, you green idiot!" Carter shouted.
"Oliver, don't you dare!"
Jon came back outside, squirting mayonnaise around. "I'll get Starfire for sure!"
"Jon, don't shoot-" Clark yelped as he got hit in the face by a pie. "Bruce!"
"Shut up, Clark-" Bruce grunted as he got splattered in the face by a glob of mustard.
Starfire laughed as she landed in front of Dick. "Dick, let me have the pie."
"No, Kori! Don't do it!" Dick backed away from her. "Not Alfred's pie!"
Tim sighed. "I just want a normal Thanksgiving like everyone else..." He yelped as Dick chucked the box into his hands. "Dick, what the-"
"RUN, TIMMY! RUN!" Dick howled as Starfire turned to him, her eyes like a predator observing his prey. Tim quickly ran for his life as the redheaded alien flew after him, intent on taking the box from him.
Booster Gold and Blue Beetle entered the room, carrying food. "Hey, guys, where do you want-" The blonde yelped as he was blasted by ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise. "Ted, HELP!"
"Sorry, Boost, you're on your own!" Ted ran out of the room.
"TRAITOR!" Booster then was silenced by a plate of pie to the face, knocking him over.
"I really envy Todd right now," Damian groaned, wiping the mustard off of his face.
"SOMEONE HELP ME!" Tim howled as Starfire tackled him, trying to wrench the pie out of his arms.
"Kory, leave-" Donna cried out as something hit her in her rear, causing her to turn around and glare at Garfield, holding a ketchup bottle in his hand. "Garfield!"
"Sorry, Don! Was aiming for Star!"
Dick was curled in a ball, weeping miserably. It was his only defense against the flying food.
"...Next time, I am staying at home for Thanksgiving." Bruce grumbled. Suddenly, he saw Starfire flinging the pie Alfred made at his direction and it landed right at his face. He couldn't resist tasting it as he licked his lips. "Pumpkin spice with vanilla. Nice." The dark knight sighed. "Alfred always knows how to make a good pumpkin pie."
"I just hope it doesn't spoil my appetite after this," Clark sighed.
"OLIVER!"
"COME HERE, YOU FASCIST! YOU'RE GONNA EAT THIS TURKEY!"
"AND YOU WILL EAT MY FIST!"
Tim let out a groan. "Is it too late to go to another Thanksgiving party somewhere else?"