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Mikey was bored. Though that wasn't anything noteworthy really. He does in fact get bored quite easily. He has ever since he was a little kid, and his father and brothers learned early on that a bored Michelangelo was a dangerous Michelangelo. So they quickly figured out different activities and games to help keep his mind occupied for as long as possible to avoid any incidents. Though when Donnie had found that old medical book in the sewers when they were children and they all deduced that he had ADHD, it made things easier. Knowing what he had made it easier for his brothers to come up with ways to help keep him stimulated and concentrated at the tasks at hand. And the older he got, the easier it was for him to manage it. Though he still had his days though. And it looks like that today is one of those days.
They had been at April's family farmhouse up in Northampton for almost half a year now. Though it feels like a much longer period of time to Mikey, especially those first 3 months, but he doesn't like to talk about it. Those months that Leo was out cold, and they never thought that he was going to wake up were some of the hardest, if not the hardest months of Mikey's life. The orange masked turtle had tried his best to keep up morale during that time, but it was just so hard. Everyone was greatly upset about the Kraang taking over New York, and losing their families, and Leo. No matter what Mikey did it wouldn't work. And it had gotten to the point that Mikey felt so hopeless that he just gave up on it. All that he wanted was his Dad and his older brother back, was that so much to ask for? Lucky for Mikey though some of his prayers had been answered. Leo had finally woken up, and that meant that everything was going to be okay now right?
Wrong. That in fact is not what that means at all. When Leo woke up, Mikey couldn't have been happier. It was like Mutation Day, and Christmas, and St. Patrick's Day all had a baby together or something. Leo was awake, he was okay, and by proxy that meant that everything was going to be okay. Because Leo made things okay for them, he's been doing that since they were kids. But it didn't take Mikey that long to realize that wasn't always the case. Beforehand, especially when they were kids, Leo took care of them. He's always done that, and it's just part of his personality. It's part of the reason why he makes such a great leader for them. Leo cares about people, and he wants to make sure that they are okay, and he'll do whatever he thinks that he has to to make sure that you're okay. It's also how he earned the nickname 'Mom' from Donnie and Raph. Because Leo nags the both of them so much. And Mikey being the baby, is on the receiving end of his mother-henning behavior the most and has just gotten used to it. So he only assumed that when Leo woke up, everything would go back to normal. But this time he was wrong.
It's quite hard for Mikey to say exactly what changed. Well, scratch that he knows what changed, but he doesn't really know the thing that really did it. For a better understanding of what he means, it's to be put like this. Leo is different. And yes, he knows that Leo is different, but it's not like how everyone else sees it. It's not just the new voice, the new scars, or the leg injury. The turtle that came out of that bathtub was not the same one that went in. Mikey's older brother that he sees standing before him now, is like a stranger to him if he looks hard enough. This Leo looks like his Leo, and thinks like him, but he sounds and acts different than the old Leo that he is used to. And that scares him a lot. He wants his Big Bro back.
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Mikey's concern for Leo has gotten so bad over the short couple of months that he's been awake that he's gone in search of answers. So he goes to the person, or rather turtle that he always goes to when he needs answers he doesn't have. "Hey D, you got a second bro?" Mikey asked as he walked into the barn that day. To be quite honest here, he was a little nervous going to his immediate older brother about all of this. While he and Donatello are quite close and work very well together, Mikey knows that they can have their issues. He knows that he frustrates Donnie sometimes when he's busy and he goes and bugs him and asks him for help, or other random questions just to get on his nerves. Mikey knows that there is no malice behind his purple branded brother's irritation, except just regular old sibling things. But he's scared to ask him this time. He knows that Donnie is still under a lot of pressure to finish not only the retromutagen to turn all of New York back to normal, he also has to figure how to make it faster, find another version for Karai, and find treatment to help Leo get better. It was a lot, and Mikey didn't want to bug him with this and make things worse. He knows Donnie is more easily irritated when he is stressed out. And Mikey didn't want to do that to his brother. He had originally set out to figure out what was wrong with Leo by himself, but he came to the realization a couple of days ago that he just couldn't. So to Donnie it is. He's more than willing to risk his purple branded brother's wrath for a bit to figure out how he could help Leo.
"What do you want Mikey?" Donnie asked. From his position hunched over his makeshift workstation, Mikey couldn't tell if his brother was in a bad mood just by the sound of his voice. Donnie was a lot like Leo, and Master Splinter, you could never tell if they were angry just by the sound of their voice or not most of the time. All three of them had very good control over their voices and emotions in that regard. Donnie was the easiest to make blow his top out of the three of them but even then it still took a lot to do so. Like father, like son as the old saying goes though am I right? "That hurts bro, why do you think that I want anything?" Mikey asked as he came into the barn.
Mikey had hoped that he would have been able to corner his older brother off to the side by himself so that they could talk. But Donnie has been spending his days for the past 6 months or so holding himself up in the barn. But Casey was always with him, and Mikey didn't want to talk about Leo behind his back like that. He knows that Casey wouldn't make fun of Leo or anything, but he was scared of telling anyone else his concerns but Donnie. But for once Casey was off with April getting groceries, and Raph and Leo were off doing something so Mikey took his chance.
"Considering you only ever really come and bug me when I'm working when you want something, that doesn't ring any bells to you?" Donnie asked as he tinkered with whatever it is that he was working on. Mikey just rolled his eyes at his brother and shut the old barn door behind him before walking over. "I am hurt and offended on my own behalf Don." Mikey told him. "I'll have you know that I do in fact want nothing from you, and after today I'll never want anything from you ever again." Mikey said. "To think betrayed by my own brother like this!" He shouted dramatically as he collapsed into a seat near Donnie at his desk. At this dramatic gesture, Donnie finally turned to look towards him. "Alright Drama Queen." Donnie said as he sat his experiment down. "If you don't want anything from me, what are you doing here?" Donnie asked him. "I thought that you would be off bugging Leo or Raph." He said. Mikey couldn't help but to flinch at that. And Donnie didn't fail to notice it either.
"Mikey what's wrong?" Donnie asked him as he leaned over to get a closer look at his baby brother. And Donnie was right to be worried about it. Ever since Leo had woken up, Mikey has been attached to his side. Even though Mikey never really verbally said how much what happened to Leo bothered him, Donnie and Raph knew that it was a lot more than what he had let onto. But it was easy to see how shaken Mikey was by the whole thing with the way that he acted about it. And Donnie doesn't blame him one bit for him, Mikey wasn't the only one affected by this. He knows that he himself still feels uneasy about Leo being awake. He walks the house at night, stopping by the oldest brother's room, and pokes his head in from time to time to make sure that he's still there. And Raph who shares a room with Leo lays awake at night and won't go to sleep until he knows that Leo is and he's counted his breath a couple of times before he'll be comfortable enough to go to sleep. But he just wishes that his younger brother would speak up about this, and not just bottle it all up.
Donnie made sure to make direct eye contact with his brother to try and get him to open up a bit. But for the longest time Mikey wouldn't say anything. And Donnie thought that he wouldn't. It wasn't until he had turned back towards the experiment that he was working on when Mikey finally broke the silence. "Do you notice anything off about Leo lately?" Mikey asked. And that made Donnie pause-what?
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"What?" Donnie asked him. He was very confused at the moment. What was Mikey talking about? He didn't notice anything off with Leo lately, besides the obvious, but that was about it. Was there something else that was wrong Leo refused to tell them about but Mikey found out about it? Looking at Mikey, who was standing there like a chatisted child, he motioned for him to sit next to him. Mikey went and plunked himself down on the seat next to him. "Start from the beginning." Donnie told him. "What do you think is wrong with Leo?" He asked him. Mikey sighed before recounting everything that he's noticed over the past couple of months to him.
It took about 20 minutes for Mikey to tell Donnie all of his concerns and all of the weird things that he's noticed about their eldest brother over the time that he's been awake. And Donnie couldn't help but to cringe a bit internally at the information. Mikey's biggest concern about not coming forward earlier was that he thought everyone else would think that he was crazy, and that it would upset Leo. And the bad thing is that Mikey wasn't crazy, he was right. Ever since Leo had woken up a couple of months ago, has been struggling a lot. And not just with his physical injuries. Leo suffered a lot of emotional and psychological trauma at the hands of the Shredder and his attack. And Leo really hasn't been dealing with any of it. He's just been shoving as deep down inside of him that he could. And that isn't healthy, especially with his already existing anxiety issues. Everyone knew that, everyone but Mikey that is, or so they thought. Leo had sworn him and Raph to secrecy one night after a really bad nightmare not to tell Mikey about this. April and Casey, weren't stupid, and they both had an idea of what was going on. But Mikey seemed to be oblivious of it, and Leo wanted to keep it that way. It was just like how they were kids, and Donnie figured out about his anxiety. He didn't want to tell Mikey then either, he didn't want to worry him, and scare him. He was trying to protect him, but again, Leo forgot that along with the rest of them that Mikey was a lot more observant than they give him credit for.
Donnie knew that they had screwed up here, so he did the only thing that he could think of. He told Mikey the truth, the whole truth this time. He went and explained in detail what really had been going on these past couple of months with their brother. About the nightmares, the phantom pains, the panic attacks, the touch aversion, the flashbacks, all of it. And how Leo refuses to deal with it. The most that they can get him to do is acknowledge it, but other than that nothing. Donnie got the pleasure of watching his baby brother's face grow more and even more shocked at this news. And he could see the sadness and hurt in those baby blue eyes. It looks like things were a lot worse than what Mikey had originally thought.
Once Donnie was finally done explaining things, Mikey just sat there quietly for a moment. Donnie honestly had no idea what to expect out of him. He knew that there was a good chance that Mikey was going to be upset with them. But he hoped that Mikey really wouldn't take it to heart, and direct his anger at Leo. Even though Leo was in the wrong here, he really just wanted to protect Mikey. But Leo tends to forget that even though he's the oldest, they are all the same age. So Mikey's not a little kid anymore, and he can handle a lot more that's thrown at him than what they think. "What can I do?" Mikey finally asked him, and that had shocked Donnie enough that it brought him out of his musings. "What?" Donnie asked him. "I said what can I do?" Mikey asked him. "I want to help him, Dee." Mikey told him.
"You're not mad?" Donnie asked him. Mikey paused for a second and rolled his eyes at him. "Well, I'm not exactly happy with you bros at the moment." Mikey admitted. "But I understand where Leo's coming from." He said. "And you forget that I'm the baby Dee." Mikey said. "I'm used to you guys trying to omit things to try and spare my feelings to protect me remember?" He asked. And Donnie had to admit that he did have a point here. "You're right, but I'm still sorry we did that Mikey, you deserved to know the truth like the rest of us." Donnie told him. "And you're right about that Dee, but I understand." Mikey told him. "And I know that if you guys had told me what was really going on Leo would have had some kind of meltdown on you." He said. "He's always been like that." And again Mikey had a point about that.
"So you really want to help?" Donnie asked him. Mikey nodded his head at him. "Yeah bro, just tell me what to do and I'll do it." He said. Donnie sighed and rubbed his eyes. "I don't really know what to tell you Mikey." Donnie told him. "Everything that we've tried to do has had no effect on him." Donnie explained. "Leo is just bottling up everything and is not dealing with that." He said. "He just closes himself off whenever someone tries to talk to him about it." He told him. "The only thing that I could tell you to try would be to just treat him normally." Donnie said. "Make him feel like nothing has changed, even though it has." Donnie said. "I know it's much, especially since it's something that you're doing anyway, but that's all that I can think of." Donnie said. "Trauma sucks and it makes it really hard to deal with things sometimes." He said. Mikey just nodded his head at him. And he already had a plan in mind about what he was going to do to make his brother feel better. He just has to put his plan into action.
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After his talk with Donnie, Mikey left the barn in search of something to do while he was contemplating how to act on his master plan. He saw that the Party Wagon wasn’t parked out front so that meant that April and Casey still weren’t back yet. And since he’s already fed the chickens today, that meant Mikey had one of two options left. He could either A- Go try and find Raph and Leo, and work on his plan. Or he could go with plan B- Go to the kitchen and play with Ice Cream Kitty for a bit. Not really being able to make up his mind since both of those options sounded pretty good, Mikey just decided to go with the flow. He’d do whichever option that he would run into first.
Walking up the front porch steps, and opening the front door, Mikey could hear his two eldest brothers talking in the kitchen. Mikey, deciding that he could probably try doing both of his plans at once, headed in there to see what they were up to. When he walked into the kitchen he was met with both of his brothers sitting at the kitchen table in the midst of some conversation. And it didn’t seem to be going well from what Mikey saw. Raph was sitting at the table facing towards Mikey, but he didn’t notice him, too absorbed in his conversation with Leo. Mikey could tell that Raph was upset, and he wasn’t the angry, ‘I’m going to pound everything in my path kind of angry’ either. No, he was openly worried, and concerned that it was showing on his face. And Raph never does that. Mikey couldn’t really see Leo though, since the eldest’s back was facing him. But he could tell that Leo had his head in his hands, which wasn’t good.
The two of them were talking so quietly that Mikey had trouble hearing them. He didn’t want to really eavesdrop on his bros’ conversation, so he decided to make his presence known. He backed up a little bit, and then retraced his step, purposely being louder so that they know he’s coming. “Hey bros!” Mikey yelled as he walked into the kitchen. “Are you eating the pizza without me?!” Mikey saw both of his brother’s heads whip up in his direction to see where he was. Both of them looked somewhat surprised to see him, but they quickly schooled their expressions, hoping he wouldn't notice. Nice try bros, but no dice.
“Mikey.” Both of his brothers said in unison when they saw him standing there. “How long have you been standing there?” Leo asked him. And even though Mikey felt bad about lying to his brother he knew that it would be easier to do it now, and then come clean later about it. “What are you talking about bro?” Mikey asked him in fake innocence. “I just got here.” He told him. And that seemed to relax his eldest brother’s shoulders a lot, which Mikey liked. Though looking at Raph he knew that wasn’t the case. From the way that his Red banded brother was looking at him, he didn’t believe him for a minute. But Mikey would deal with that later when Leo was out of ear shot.
Mikey walked fully into the room, and went to sit down beside Leo at the kitchen table. He scooted his chair really close over to him, and laid his head on his brother’s shoulder, and made sure to bat his baby blues at him. “So pizza?” Mikey asked out loud. Leo just chuckled and rubbed his head, while Raph rolled his eyes and got up to get them all something to eat for lunch. Lunch itself was a very small affair, and Donnie even showed up to eat with them. Once they were done with lunch though, Donnie had taken Leo out to the barn to do another check-up on the eldest. Which just left Mikey and Raph.
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“So how much of that did you actually hear?” Raph asked him when he heard the front door shut. It meant that the two of them were completely alone in the house and there were no eyes or ears to be in on their conversation. “I couldn’t make out a word that you and Leo were saying, but I was standing there a lot longer than you thought I was.” Mikey said. And he turned and saw the expression on his brother’s face just sort of fall a little bit. “That and Donnie’s told me everything that you guys have been keeping from me.” And believe it or not, Raph actually winced at this. “Yeah,” Raph said. “I knew that it was a bad idea to keep this from you.” He said. “Leo’s your older brother too.” He said. “And you deserve to know everything like the rest of us.” “But Leo still sees me as the baby, and he’s trying his best to protect me, and it’s one of the only things that can actually keep him calm at the moment so you and Dee went along with it?” Mikey offered. Raph just nodded his head at him. “Yeah, I’m sorry Mikey we should have just told you the truth from the get go.” Raph told him. “Yeah you should have.” Mikey said. “But I understand why you didn’t and I’m not really mad at you.” He told him. Raph looked relieved to hear that.
“But since you did that, I am going to hold it over your guy’s heads for a bit.” Mikey said. “And I request your help on a project I’m doing.” Mikey told him. Raph looked at him skeptically for a couple of seconds before he gave in and spoke. “What project do I have to help you on?” He asked him. Mikey just grinned at him wickedly, before scooting his chair over closer towards his brother. “Easy bro.” Mikey told him. “I just need you to clear everyone out of the house but me and Leo.” Mikey told him. “Why?” Raph asked him. “What crazy plan do you have up your sleeve shell-head?” He asked him. “That’s for me to know and you to find out at a later date.” Mikey said. Then he jumped out of his chair to go and watch Crognard, leaving one red banded turtle confused in his wake.
If only poor Raph knew what his little brother was getting him into. It wasn’t anything bad though. The only reason that Mikey wouldn't tell him what his plan is, was to make sure that Leo couldn’t find out about it. If Leo knew about his plan then that means he would figure out that Mikey knew about everything. And Mikey didn’t want to accidentally push his brother over the edge.
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It was only a couple of days later that Mikey had decided to put his master plan into action. He had finally filled Raph in on what he wanted to do, and his brother was more than happy to help out. So Raph had come up with some sort of activity that had gotten April, Casey, and Donnie out of the house for a couple of hours. Which would just leave Mikey and Leo there. It wasn’t that hard. Donnie already had a vague idea of his plan, and April just knows these things, and can easily make Casey do them, plus with Raph shoving him out the door before he could protest didn’t hurt either. So it just left the two of them.
Luckily they left when Leo was in the bathroom, so he couldn't question them. When his brother finally came down the stairs it was just Mikey sitting on the living room couch waiting for him. “Mikey?” Leo asked as he came down the stairs. Even though his knee has come a long way since he first woke up, it’s still a slow going process. But his bro was nothing if not stubborn. It was part of the reason that they were in this mess. “Where is everyone else’s?” Leo asked as he rounded to the couch. And to the untrained eye it may have looked like nothing, but Mikey knows his brother. He saw Leo tense up just the tiniest bit when he came down the stairs, and he could hear the slight waver in his voice when he asked where the others were. Mikey knew that Leo’s anxiety had been kicked up a couple of notches.
“They’re out on some sort of nature walk.” Mikey said. He motioned for Leo to come over and sit down on the couch with him. Besides knowing what an anxious Leo looks like, he also knows what an in pain Leo looks like as well. Leo, begrudgingly moved to sit down on the couch next to him. “Raph and Casey were driving April nuts, so she dragged them and Dee out of the barn to go out and nature and relax.” Mikey told him. In reality all of them had agreed to leave the farmhouse premises to let the two of them talk in private but Leo doesn’t need to know that. Leo seemed to ease a bit at that, but he seemed still uneasy. “Why didn’t you go?” Leo asked him. “Cause I wasn’t getting on her nerves.” Mikey told him. “Apes gave me a choice and I chose to stay here and hang out with you brah!” Mikey told him as he leaned over and held the other. “It’s been ages since we’ve hung out Leo!” He whined at him dramatically. Leo just looked at him, and sighed. “It hasn’t been that long Mikey, quit being dramatic.” Leo said as he rubbed Mikey on the head. And that's how Mikey knew his plan was working.
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Mikey was able to rope Leo into eating pizza and watching tv (Not Crognard!) with him. The two of them sat there and yelled at the TV the whole time. They were watching some made for tv movie that was some sort of sci-fi horror thing that made no sense. The two of them enjoyed making fun of how bad it was. It reminded Mikey of when they were kids and stayed up late on the weekends doing this. Donnie hated sci-fi because he said that it was a mockery of science, Raph said it was for kids, and that he was too old for it. Sensi, even though he didn’t get it, tried to watch it with him, but he liked watching it with Leo the best. Leo got it, and never made fun of him like the others did.
And Mikey could tell that it was helping his brother out too. The longer they were joking around with each other, the more Leo seemed to relax. It was a slow process, but Mikey was willing to wait for all of it. Though that was another thing that they did as kids. When Leo’s anxiety was really bad, after Mikey understood what it was, he would go and sit with Leo and try to distract him. Donnie had explained to him ways to help panic attacks and how distractions help a lot Mikey got all up on that. And he’s been doing it ever since. It was also just nice to be able to hang out with Leo, just the two of them with no one else around.
Things were going well for a while, but Mikey was starting to notice that Leo was starting to tense up again. He kept checking the time on his tphone to see if the clock was right, and he was watching the door. Mikey knew that he was probably waiting on the others to get back. And that waiting was making him very, very anxious. Looks like Mikey was doing damage control again.
“They’re okay bro.” Mikey said all of a sudden. The two of them lapsed into a comfortable silence after a while, and the noise made Leo jump when he heard him. He turned, wide-eyed to look at his little brother. “What?” Leo croaked out. “I said that they’re okay bro.” Mikey said as he leaned over and hugged his brother. “April, Raph, Casey, and Donnie are all fine.” Mikey told him. “They’re out on a walk,and they should be back soon.” He told him. Leo just sat there and looked at him like he had grown a second head. “How do you know that?” Leo asked. “They’ve been gone for hours.” Of course his brother noticed how long the others have been gone. “That was the plan, man.” Mikey said. Leo just looked at him in confusion. “Plan what plan?” Leo asked. “What did you do Mikey?”
Mikey just rolled his eyes at him. “Nothing man, just helping you relax a little bro.” Mikey told him. “April was helping me get the others out for a couple of hours so that we could get some time alone.” He said. “Why?” Leo asked him. Mikey loved his brother, he really did, because that was all that was keeping him from smacking his brother upside the head. “Because you’ve been stressing yourself out so much lately brah.” Mikey told him. “I know that you’re not eating, or sleeping Leo.” Mikey told him. “And Donnie told me your anxiety’s been getting bad again.” He said. When he looked over at his brother, Leo at least had the decency to look a little ashamed. “You weren’t supposed to know.” Leo told him in a small voice. And Mikey just knew that this would happen.
“Yeah I sort of figured that out.” Mikey said sarcastically, and he saw Leo wince out of the corner of his eye. “I’m sorry Mikey, I know I should have told you, but I didn’t want you to worry.” Leo said as he looked at him. And looking into his eyes, Mikey could see all of the pain in those bale blue eyes. “I know that you were just trying to protect me Leo.” Mikey said. “But bro, I’m 15 now, I’m not a little kid anymore, and while I am the baby, you all tend to forget that we’re all basically the same exact age.” He said. Leo looked sheepish at that. “I know that, I do.” Leo said. “But sometimes it’s hard to remember that.” He said. “And I know that this happened a long time ago, but I still remember my first panic attack you witnessed and how scared you were.” Leo told him. And yeah Mikey remembers like it happened yesterday.
They were all about 5 years old, and Mikey had woken up late one night to get a midnight snack. He felt like something weird was going on but he couldn’t figure out what. It wasn’t until he walked into the pit of the lair and saw his father and two brothers all sitting around Leo while his eldest brother was gasping for breath on their father’s lap. It was very scary, and Mikey remembers it in vivid detail, and so do the others. And Mikey knows how scared he was, and why Leo tries to hide his anxiety from him to spare him.
“I know it’s hard for you bro.” Mikey said. “But you’re my older brother, and while you do your best to look out for all of us, it’s a two way street man.” Mikey told him. “You can have people there to look out for you too bro.” Mikey said. Leo just sat there and looked out into space for a minute. He then leaned over into Mikey’s embrace, and Mikey could see the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. “I miss Sensei.” Leo said. “I really miss Dad.” And Mikey held him while he lost a little of the weight that’s been on his shoulders for weeks now. And even though the roles were reversed at the moment, Mikey didn’t mind. Because once a big brother, always a big brother. And Mikey would do whatever it took to make sure his brother was okay. Like a turtle do, brah!