Work Text:
"You wanna know something Spencer?"
"What is it Lassie?"
"Have I ever told you that you astound me?"
***
"Son of a Bitch!"
Shawn curled into Carlton's sleeping chest as he blindly grabbed a cell phone that almost certainly was going to ring itself off the bedside table.
"Hullo?"
"Shawn James Spencer!"
Shawn sobered at the use of his full name, feeling like a child scolded, he didn't know what he did to receive Juliet's angry tone.
"Hey Jul-"
"Where the HELL are you and Carlton?"
Shawn had no idea what she meant because as far as he knew...
"Lassie and I are in home, in bed." Shawn explained with ease.
"No. No you are not Shawn!" Juliet practically shouted into the phone. "You want to know how I know you're not? I am sitting in Carlton's empty house right now!"
Then, it hit Shawn. The sheets he and Carlton were curled up in were not theirs and the dingy room they were in smelled lightly of mothballs and cheap perfume. Shawn sat up quickly and looked over to the window, hoping not to wake up his boyfriend that was currently sleeping like the dead, he slid out of bed and slowly walked over to the smoke stained curtains.
Pulling them open, Shawn let out a groan that suspiciously like an oh no.
"Jules," Shawn started as the bright morning sunlight jumpstarted his his hungover senses. "Just to make sure, you are sitting down right?"
"Yes Shawn, I'm sitting down," Juliet confirmed, sounding peeved and confused. "Why is that so important?"
"We're in Vegas."
"Why are you two in Vegas?" Juliet demanded, Shawn was clueless as to how they managed to cross state lines inebriated, he also would have told Juliet that if he hadn't ran to the small bathroom to avoid puking blue onto the carpet. In the process of doing so, he chucked the phone onto the mattress, which slammed into Carlton's ribs on the way there.
"You hit me with the phone you dick!" Carlton grumbled, pressing the offending device to his ear. "Lassiter."
"Carlton!" Juliet sighed in relief. "Thank God, both of you are okay!"
"Why wouldn't we be okay, O'Hara?" Carlton asked, becoming more aware of the pounding headache he had.
"Because it's 11:30 in the morning and you never showed up for work." Juliet explained calmly, Carlton turned to look at his watch that was resting on the nightstand.
"How in Justice's name did I miss my alarm!?" Carlton shouted in disbelief.
"Because!" Shawn groaned, walking from the bathroom to flop onto the bed. "We decided to go to Vegas blackout drunk!"
"How did we get here alive!?" Carlton turned to look at Shawn, who was curling into himself and cradling his stomach.
"Obviously, not legally." Juliet chimed in. "I'm gonna let you two go so I can tell Vick and Gus that you're both still alive, please make it back breathing as soon as possible?"
"Will do O'Hara," Carlton sighed, rubbing a soothing hand on Shawn's back. "We'll be back by tonight."
"We will see you both tomorrow."
To Carlton, in this moment, Shawn looked completely miserable. The sparkling green renaissance top he was wearing made him look more pale than normal.
"Are you alright Spencer?" Carlton asked, the question being redundant, but he was worried.
"Well my head is pounding, I just tossed my guts, and I can't remember a damn thing that happened last night!" Shawn snapped, wrapping his arms tighter around his torso. "So yeah! I'm doing fan - fucking - tastic."
"How can you remember nothing from last night? You have perfect memory recall?" Shawn turned his head to glare at Carlton as he put the cell phone back onto the bedside table. To alleviate the stress, Carlton offered "How about we go through what you do remember?"
"Alright..." Shawn sounded unsure, but agreed.
"I remember closing the case and we decided to go the bar to celebrate a job well done." Carlton recounted, eyebrows scrunched together, Shawn could practically see the gears turning in the detective's head.
"I vaguely remember having a conversation surrounding Grey's Anatomy?"
*the night prior*
"Lassie!" Shawn shouted, having had one 'adios, motherfucker' too many, he was flying. "My own personal McDreamy! If you had to choose to pick between me and Jules, who would you pick?"
Carlton, being way too many whiskey shots down to process anything, didn't answer. Shawn took Carlton's silence as an insult.
"Pick me!" Shawn whined, gaining the attention of everyone in the bar. "Pick me! Choose me! Love me!"
"I do love you Shawn-" Carlton said finally tuning into the scene that Shawn was creating. "Are you seriously quoting Grey's Anatomy at me right now?"
"Yes."
Carlton sloppily pulled himself up and out of the barstool, looking at his feet to keep himself from tripping as he wobbled his way out of the bar.
"W- Wait!" Shawn blubbered as he swiveled his barstool to follow Carlton out. "Where are you going?"
"Vegas!" the Detective said with confidence that it was a good enough answer and kept walking across the dark parking lot.
Shawn pulled Carlton's keys out of his jeans pocket, completely unaware they were there in the first place, and shook them in his boyfriends direction like a bag of cat treats.
"It's faster if you drive!"
Carlton stopped dead in his tracks and turned around, almost in slow motion, with wide eyes and a slack jaw. "Right!"
"Why do you wanna go to Vegas right now final Lass-tination?"
"We're going to Vegas!"
"Why?" Shawn was completely clueless as he met Carlton at his car, fading in and out of conciseness, Shawn only caught the first half of Carlton's explanation.
"Because Genius! We're gonna-"
*present*
"Oh, fuck me gently with a chainsaw!"
"What was that for Lass?" Shawn was even confused by Carlton's sudden outburst, sitting up to figure out why, he noticed a shiny glint on his hand. Specifically, his left ring finger.
"I think we got hitched last night." Carlton stated, looking bewildered at the gumball ring adorning the younger mans finger.
"Well, we are in Vegas, don't Vegas wedding not count?" Shawn asked solemnly twisting the plastic ring, he really did like the look of it, he just wished he could remember getting it put on.
"Even Vegas weddings are legally binding." Carlton explained gently, the anger fading from his voice, coming out almost remorseful.
Shawn slumped his shoulders slowly, sullenly looking at the ring. "Do- Do you want to get it annulled?" he asked in almost a whisper.
"I don't." Carlton said slowly, cupping the side of Shawn's face, thumb rubbing across an old faded scar on the younger mans cheekbone. "That's the complete opposite of what I want."
"What do you want?" Shawn asked timidly, his cheek twitching against his control as he looked Carlton in the eyes.
"You." Carlton smiled. "Ever since 1995, all I wanted was you."
"Then I guess we're in this for the long haul then." Shawn smiled brightly, leaning forward to give Carlton a quick peck on the lips.
"I guess we are."
Carlton tried to close the space between them, but Shawn quickly pulled away.
"Two conditions!"
"Hit me!"
"You finalize your divorce with Vicky." Shawn shot off quickly, his gaze as serious as he was taught to, Carlton nodded quickly.
"Done deal. What's the second condition?"
"We have an actual ceremony someday?"
"Of course we will." Carlton smiled, scrunching his eyebrows together again. "My mother would come all the way down to Santa Barbara to castrate me if we didn't."
"God, you're mother sounds lovely." Shawn muttered, rolling his eyes. "Anyways, Gus would also kill me if I got married without him."
The two Lassiter's conversation was cut off by the phone ringing, Carlton looked over at the discarded phone and groaned.
"Speak of the Devil." Carlton said, lifting the buzzing device. "It's my mother."
"I'm gonna go shower while you answer that." Shawn patted Carltons chest before rolling off the bed. Carlton took a deep breath before flipping open the phone and hitting answer.
"Hi mom!"
"Good afternoon Booker." Carlton could hear his mother's smile through the phone. "Some little birdie told me that you got married to your psychic last night?"
Carlton swallowed before letting out a choked "You already know?"
"Of course I already know Booker, mother's intuition." Mona's voice was perky, way too perky for Carlton's hungover head. "And you left a particularly long voice mail of your reception."
Carlton dropped his head in silent laughter at that thought.
"Other than that," Mona transitioned, giggling herself. "I wanted to say congratulations... And I'm sorry."
"What's to apologize for?" Carlton asked, rubbing his eyes in confusion.
"I'm sorry for how I treated you when you were younger... Before I came out." Mona cleared her throat before continuing. "No one deserves to be treated like that, especially not you Booker."
"Wow," Carlton sniffled, wiping the tear that had fallen. "Thank you momma, that was really nice... I forgive you, you were struggling yourself."
"You're welcome honey."
"May I ask you why you're apologizing now" Carlton stammered. "You aren't dying are you?"
"I am not!" Mona answered quickly. "I figured I should apologize, but I will admit I should have apologized sooner."
"Well thank you mom." Carlton repeated.
"Oh! Althea and Lauren are very happy for you both!"
"Tell them I said thank you," Carlton smiled. "I'm sure Shawn will thank them himself when they meet."
"I'm sure. I'm so proud of you Carlton." Mona said softly, she was probably smiling softly too. "Remember, first Corinthians-"
"I know, I know- 'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it doesn't boast-'" Carlton paused, squinting, he asked. "Mom are you expecting me to go through the whole verse?"
"I wasn't, but if you're offering-"
"I am not." Carlton laughed, noticing his husband standing in the bathroom doorway, wrapped in only a towel, looking completely smitten.
"Well, I'm gonna let you go Booker, congratulations and drive safe!" Mona said with a sigh. "I would also expect a call from Victoria sooner or later."
"I will hope to be in an area with zero service."
"That's rude, even for you."
"I know, Have a good day mom." Carlton let out the breath he was holding after he hung up, cocking an eyebrow as he watched Shawn walk over to the bed. "I'll shower while you get dressed and then we'll hit the road?"
"Seems like a plan Mr. Lassiter - Spencer," Shawn smirked as he pulled Carlton into a kiss. "but I have a better idea... close the curtains and maybe the shower can wait?"
"I'm so lucky you're mine." Carlton smiled deviously as he rolled off the bed and to the curtains, promptly shutting them.
"I would like to think I'm the lucky one." Shawn smiled back.