Chapter Text
Starscream could not slip into recharge no matter what his mind kept slipping back to Skyfire. His stubbornness, the very thing that had made Skyfire fall in love with him had led to him losing him again. Skyfire who had been one the few bots who ever trusted him his conjunx endura and he had called him a traitor when Starscream was the one who decided to pull the trigger. As he lay there he thought back to the first time they had met.
It was at the Iacon Science Academy. His third lab partner had just stopped working with him with the explanation that Starscream was impossible to work with, a slagging idiot, and had an ego the size Unicron. As he stormed out of one of the school's many labs that he bumped into Skyfire.
“Hey watch where you're going you slagging idiot,” Starscream yelled.
“Sorry, I was just heading to the labs. I was hoping to get finished with a project that's in two astrocycles but it’s only about halfway done and my lab partner just dropped out,” Skyfire said nervously.
“I don’t want to hear about your problems. Just watch where you're going. Wait did you say your lab partner just dropped out,” Starscream asked, slightly annoyed.
“Yes,” Skyfire said softly.
“Well then I will help you finish this project. I assure you I will be a much better lab partner then that dumb son of a glitch was. Just take me to the lab you’ve been working in,” Starscream said confidently.
“Okay,” Skyfire said and started heading toward his lab.
That project had been a rousing success even though Starscream had almost blown the lab twice. Skyfire, unlike every other lab partner he had, didn't seem to mind when Starscream started cursing up a storm or called his ideas while they worked on that project. The big shuttle had just sat there letting Starscream rant and occasionally said an idea he came up with for the project until Starcream calmed down.
Starscream sighed at that memory getting up to get an old datapad from the self to read. He eventually settled on reading on of Skyfire old reports from when they explored what Starscream had thought was a rather boring planet seeing as it mainly consisted of desert. Yet the report that Skyfire wrote about that planet made it seem like the most interesting planet ever.
Skyfire always had been the happiest bot Starscream had ever met. He could always see something positive about even the worst situations. Though many times, especially while they were still studying at the academy, Starscream would catch Skyfire silently crying when he thought no one else was around. He would always deny he’d been crying but he would eventually tell Starscream why he had been crying. Eventually every one at the academy started avoiding speaking ill of Skyfire because they know Starscream would make their lives a living hell if they did.
He had also hated seeing Skyfire cry because of how much it took to make him cry. Yet today he was the one who had made Skyfire cry. Starcream could not shake the horrible shock Skyfire had shone on the tiers he had welled in his eyes after he had shot him. With the decepticons he had all he ever wanted just about except for Skyfire. Starscream then threw the datapad he was reading as he realized that cruel hand Primus had dealt him and that he had made it worse by his own stubbornness.
“Starscream, are you okay,” Thundercraker silently asked from the doorway.
“I’m fine you idiot! I’m just rereading some old data pads and don’t give me any scrap like I can tell you anything! I’m fine,” Starscream yelled at his trinemate, realizing he had been crying.
“Okay, goodnight Starscream,” Thundercraker said quietly leaving the room.
Starscream sighed as Thundercraker left the room cursing at himself for scaring his trinemate away. It seemed like what Skyfire had said to him long ago was true heroes are never truly happy. Yet was he even a hero or just someone who gambled away everything in hopes of a happy ending that was never real? If he wasn’t one he had to make himself one and Starscream knew what he had to do, take down Megatron.
Megatron’s poor leadership is to blame for Skyfire wanting to leave in the first place. He wants every decepticon fighting no matter if they are any good at it or not. Skyfire would never make a good fighter. He's far too caring for that. If I lead the deceptions Skyfire would still be here by my side. I just hope I don’t die before I get the chance to take my rightful place as leader.
Starscream then got up and got another one of Skyfire's old reports and started reading, putting it down shortly afterwards as he found himself too tired to read. Then as he thought of a plan to get rid of Megaton with more excitement and anger than ever he found himself drifting into recharge.