Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Mabel ran off the bus as fast as her legs would let her. Dipper just followed slowly from behind, his only bag hanging down from his shoulder. Mabel ran into Pacifica's arms and they both fell to the floor. Dipper walked up towards the rest of them as they laughed.

Ford stopped when Dipper didn't laugh or smile at Mabel's antics like he usually would do. "Hey Dipper! How was your school year?" Ford asked, holding his hand up for Dipper to high six. 

Dipper rolled his eyes with a snarl forming on his face and just walked past, heading towards the shack. Everyone stopped to watch Dipper walk up to the shack's entrance.

"What happened to Dipstick?" Stan asked, looking over to Mabel for an answer. Mabel got up off the ground, helping Pacifica up and then sighed sadly.

"He's been like this for months. Won't talk to anyone, won't laugh or smile anymore. He’s staying up all night doing homework for college. It started happening before we moved into separate apartments." Mabel said as she went to hug everyone else. 

Stan and Ford looked over to the shack worryingly. "Ford and I will talk to him in a minute….” 

Silents washed over them all.

“Anyway, who wants to spend the rest of the day at the lake!" Stan said while he clapped his hands loudly, trying to get everyone off the topic. 

Everyone else cheered happily and ran down to the lake except for Stan and Ford. Stan picked up Mabel's bags with a grunt. The twins both looked at each other with worried eyes, then started to walk over to the shack. 

~~~~~~

Dipper opened the door slowly, cringing to the door squeak loudly at the rusted hinges movements. He let his hand fall off the rusted door handle and silently thought about how they never had to get tetanus as children. He walked in while he thought about getting a new door handle, took a deep breath through his nose, and immediately regretted it when a harsh sneeze was forced out of his body. 

He groaned softly as he watched the dust float through the air, this place needed some major cleaning that he just didn't have the energy for. He let his gaze run over the room and his vision landed onto the gigantic, triangle window. He shivered at the memories running through his head at the shape, becoming colder than he already was. 

He subconsciously moved to pull his jacket tighter around himself as he trudged to his side of the room, his feet dragging behind him. He dropped his duffle bag down on the ground loudly, not really caring about unpacking, then let his body fall harshly into the now way too small mattress.

His body desperately craved for sleep but whenever he tried to let himself drift, he heard the same thing that started to hunt him a few months ago. If he wasn't so focused on his heavy schooling or his inability to focus on main topics, he would have started to notice the slight tugging feeling that had settled in his chest. It wasn't as strong before they came down to Oregon, but now it was persistent and honestly annoying. 

He let out an annoyed huff as he willed his mussels to push him up onto the unsheeted mattress that was way too small for him now. Curse his body and the growth spurts for being the reason why he's a good few feet taller than a 13 year old. He sighed heavily as he moved to sit criss-crossed on the bed with his back against the wall. He let his burning eyes close for the tiniest bit….

Hahahahahahahaha! AH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Dipper's eyes flew open as a flash of yellow and orange disappeared from in front of his eyes. His breathing was heavy as he felt himself shake slightly. It felt so real, so real to him… the laughter… the voice that came from the laughter…. the sound of it being right next to his ears. 

He focused on getting his breathing and body under control as he noticed just how drained he seemed to be afterwards. It was weird to him and he's seen the way his sister has noticed it too. Going from being happy, energetic, and a genuinely normal 18 year old in college into a depressed, stressed and snappy, horribly sleep deprived, tired with life 18 year old that's failing in college in such a short amount of time. 

He honestly didn't know what happened nor did he have any energy to care. He honestly didn't think he could muster getting up in the morning anymore with everything suddenly becoming more dull, stressful, and left feeling incomplete. 

He didn't see the point of eating when he had no appetite, nor the point of going to see people that he didn't want to be around as being around people was exhausting. He was too tired to work on finishing anything but didn't have the motivation to just stop. He couldn't think but at the same time couldn't stop thinking, even if it was all at the wrong things. 

He was cold all the time now and he jumped at any touch at all as it felt like he was burning. Everyday felt more and more like a chore and all he could really think about normally now was how he just wanted to float away into nothingness, to have someone pull him out of this exhaustion and anger. He just wanted to sleep and not move anymore… 

He was just so tired of the same thing everyday….

He wanted something new… 

He jumped when he heard a knock on the door frame vibrate through the whole room. He looked up quickly only to breathe out a sigh when he saw it was his Grunkles. They stared at him with what looked to be pity, he frowned in response. He didn't want their pity.

“Can we come in?” Ford asked softly with a smile that should have comforted him, but it didn't work. 

“Ya whatever…” Dipper said, hissing out the words like they personally offended him. 

He watched as the two older men came in, Stan sitting on Mable’s old bed while Ford just stranded to the left, blocking the door. They sat there in silence for a few as Dipper bounced his leg up and down in anxiety. 

“So…” Dipper started, looking at the two uncles but rather as the now much more interesting floorboards. There was a sigh from Grunkle Ford. 

“Are you doing ok kid? You're not as lively as you once were a couple months ago on that phone chat?” Stan asked softly. 

“Video chat Stanley.” Ford corrected. 

“Ya ya whatever, same thing.” Stan grumbled out. 

The light bickering between the two older twins would have made Dipper laugh in the past, or at least made him smile somewhat. But there was nothing. Dipper felt empty and tired. 

“I'm ok, Grunkle Stan. Just tired from college, you know? It's really kicking my ass hehe.. he…” Dipper tried to make himself feel more lively but he just didn't have the energy. 

“What do you mean kid? You're the smartest one there.” Ford tried to make him feel a little better after the harsh remark on himself. 

Dipper scoffed dryly.

“Ya… smart…. Tell that to my grades…” He responded as he let his small smile, a rarity nowadays, slip off his face and turn into empty expression. 

He could only imagine what he looked like right now to everyone around him. His hair was a mess and unwashed, his clothes were clean enough for an adult boy in college, the almost white pale skin mixed with his dark eyebags. 

The red rimmed eyes portraying the lack of sleep and the many nights spent crying. He must have smelt horrible from not having the motivation to shower more than maybe twice a week. He was a wreck yet he didn't, no, couldn't bring himself to fix it. He probably looked like he could die any second from some unknown sickness right about now. 

“Well we just wanted to see how you were doing and came to tell you that your guy's new mattresses and bed frames will be here by tonight, that way you guys won't be sleeping in a teenager's bed.” Stan said as he stood up, then walked out with his brother, but not leaving without a small smile to the younger. 

Dipper sighed again before forcing his body down onto the small mattress, then he let his eyes fall shut. No, he wasn't going to fall asleep. He was just letting his eyes close for a few so they would stop burning was all. He didn't need sleep. 

Chapter Text

Dipper felt himself sink and sigh into the warm embrace that enveloped him. The burning feeling felt nicer than with normal touches. He could hear a faint chuckle from above him but could find the will to care. He was content and safe, he felt warm… complete for the first time in months. 

“Hello Pinetree. My, you've definitely seen better days. And it genuinely shows how desperate you are for any type of interaction with me. I mean, you did summon me into your dreams….” 

Dipper felt human hands running through his hair. He pushed into the contact more as he felt his body relax.

“Oh come now Pinetree. You can have this for real once you've worked for it. You know where to find me. So why not come say hi? I mean, I did tell you we'd meet again some sunny day, didn't I?” 

Dipper shivered slightly at the words as he felt a tug in his chest, pulling at his soul. It wasn't harsh or hurtful. Just…. Annoying… 

“Don't forget our deal you made with me, Pinetree. You're my puppet for all of eternity, until I give you the secrets to the whole universe.” 

Dipper felt the bitter cold start to seep into his body again, making him shiver. He could feel his body start to wake up slowly, the darkness he had been staring into now was flooding with a warm orange color.

“Wake up now, Pinetree…” 

The voice and touch seemed so far away now, but he could hear one last thing before he came back to consciousness.

“Come and set me free, Child of the stars….” 

~~~~~~ 

Dipper startled awake with a gasp as he sat up quickly. He brought his hand to his hair and could still feel the ghostly presence of the warm human hands running through his hair. He shivered at the feeling and looked around the room. 

There were orange shades coming through the window and it mixed with yellows and pinks. He could feel how the warm air outside came into the room in a light breeze, even though it didn't do anything to stop the forever constant cold that plagued his body. 

He slowly stood himself up and stretched. Despite how many hours he probably got sleeping, he still felt dead on his feet. Now however, his body was aching heavily. He sighed as he forced his body to walk out the bedroom and down the stairs. 

When he reached the bottom, he realized he was alone. He walked to the kitchen as if he was on autopilot and grabbed the box of circle crackers, then started to move back to the stairs. He stopped, a cracker in his mouth that he was currently munching on, as the door suddenly flew open loudly to reveal his family. 

He looked at them with wide eyes as they started to carry a big ass mattress that could fit 4 people if he tried into the shack. When Mable realized him, he was already trying to run back up the stairs. 

“Dipper! You're awake! Can you help us move the mattresses?” She asked in her usual loud but fun voice. 

Dipper flinched at the loudness before he sighed and sat down the crackers on the floor, finished eating the one he was originally munching on, and came to help move in the mattresses. 

~~~~~~

Dipper groaned at the now made bed. This one would be his in the attic while Mable moved into Soos’s old room. Soon had moved out after his mom had passed but he still loves the shack and takes care of it daily. He looked down at the bed that looked so enticing now that it had sheets, blankets and pillows on it. The soft light of the lamp on the bedside table casting a faint orange glow on everything. 

He distantly heard his name being called for dinner but he didn't go down, his appetite no longer there for even the crackers he was previously eating. He just let his body move on its own and fall into the welcoming softness. It was still cold sadly, but at the moment that didn't matter. He was too tired to care. 

He didn't notice his Uncle Ford to be looking through the door at him as he fell into a light doze. He didn't notice the worried look nor did he hear the sigh that was made. 

He didn't notice how his uncle came in with an extra few blankets or how he laid over his still shivering body. He didn't seem to notice how the older man turned off his lamp and walked out the door, closing it gently to not startle the boy. 

Chapter Text

“Come and find me, Child of the stars…” 

… 

Dipper blinked awake slowly, not even remembering falling asleep. He sat up slowly and took in the attic around him just now remembering that he was at the shack for his “college break”. He sighed and opened his duffle bag to find at least some type of clean clothes. 

He ended up grabbing his usual pair of blue jeans, reddish-orange shirt, and blue hoodie he wore everywhere now. He stood up and got changed barely in time for Mabel to burst open his door with a big smile on her face that could blind anyone within a 10 mile radius. 

He frowned a little at his squeaky door and the fact that his sister didn't even try to knock before entering, grabbing his hat and putting it on his hair. Mabel just strides in and grabs his wrist, then pulls him out of the room and down the stairs. He didn't even register himself getting pushed into one of the many wooden chairs that honestly shouldn't even be standing by now. 

He blinked dumbly at Mabel as she set a plate full of pancakes in front of him. Her smile faltered a tiny bit when he didn't dig in right away so she pushed the plate closer to him. 

“Eat up Dips! The Grunkles are taking us into town!” Mabel all but yelled with Joy as if hoping it would suddenly become contagious to make Dipper happy as well. 

Dipper just stared at the plate in front of him like it had personally offended him. He looked up at Mabel with pleading eyes before sighing in defeat at Mabel's persistent stare. He picked up the fork, shivering at past memories as his head started to hurt and his past scars started to itch uncomfortably. He stared Mabel down as he forced the overly sweet food into his mouth and swallowed. 

When Mabel seemed to think he was eating, she turned around, ran to the living room, and started to talk loudly to their Uncles. Once Mabel was out of eyeshot, Dipper slammed the fork onto the table with shaky hands as he tried not to pay attention to the food that now felt like a rock in his stomach. 

He looked down at the fork and then at his arms where the persistent itching flooded out of his past scars. The small puncture holes all over his arms and the small cut over his eyebrow started to burn despite them being already healed. Dipper felt his head start to pound harshly as he felt that tugging sensation again. It pulled harshly but not painfully and he could have sworn he heard a voice say in the back of his mind say something along the lines of,

“I'd never hurt you again, Pinetree.”

But the words faded away, leaving a warm feeling wracking his body. He shivered and gasped as the heat disappeared, leaving him in his ever persistent cold. He brought his hand to his chest where he felt the pull and he realized that he could feel a small wave of contentment was over him. But the feeling left as soon as it came. 

Fuzziness filled his brain as he felt arms wrap around his body, his body shivering as the feeling of warmth came over him again at the touch. He felt human hands wrap around his hands as his body moved on its own. He stood up almost like he was drunk and he heard a soft sorry fill his head. 

He felt the fuzziness spread around his body like he was floating in cotton. It felt like he was floating and he suddenly could see his body move without his will. He didn't really see the need to care about it though as he couldn't really think. This was wrong, wasn't it? Like this shouldn't be happening? Like it's already happened before?

He watched as his body moved towards the front door in a drowsy state. The familiar tug started to feel stronger and hot as he seemed to walk somewhere he didn't know. He watched as his body walked outside the door and outside, then faced towards the forest and stopped. The pounding in his head started to feel worse as red filled his vision. Words filled his brain as his chest and wrists started to burn, like he was on fire. 

“Come and find me, Child of the stars….” 

…

“I'm waiting.”

~~~~~~ 

“-ipper!” 

…

“Dipper!” 

Dipper woke up with a gasp and blinked back into reality, his body back to being well.. his. He tried to look around but all he saw was red and felt it was stinging and burning, but honestly he would gladly welcome back the cold if it meant he didn't feel this. 

“Dipper? Oh my god you're bleeding! Let's get you back in the shack and patch you up.” He could hear Ford say next to him, his hands on top of his shoulders.

He was bleeding? He's not in the shack? He felt himself slowly being let by the hands on his shoulders towards the shack. 

It was like a switch had been flipped and suddenly he pushed Ford away with as much force as he could. He didn't know why he did it, all he knew was that being inside the shack felt… wrong… 

He looked at a wide-eyed Ford as the man stared at him with surprise and confusion. Dipper felt his body shake slightly as the tension started to grow in the overwhelming silence. Dipper took a shaky deep breath in and was about to say sorry when the words died in his throat.

“I'm waiting.” 

Dipper shivered as the strong pull and heat started to pulse softly. He looked back to the treeline with a blank expression. He felt his breathing calm down the more he thought about going into the mass of trees. 

He was snapped out of his hazy thoughts when Ford snapped his fingers in front of his face. He looked over to the now very worried looking Ford and they just stared at each other for a long while.

“You with me Dipper?” Ford asked and Dipper nodded silently.

“Sorry.” Dipper mumbled softly making Ford frown slightly, eyes filled with concern. 

“Your ok Dipper. I should have asked to touch you first.” Ford responded before motioning to the shack. 

Dipper looked back to the shack and then to his uncle and shook his head. Ford frowned softly but nodded. 

“I'll clean you up on the porch then, how about that?” Ford asked softly.

Dipper nodded in response before starting to walk away from the continuous tug in his chest. 

Chapter Text

Dipper sat there on the porch as Mabel fretted over him for what must have been over 15 minutes by now as Ford and Stan helped bandage him. Apparently, his birthmark had started bleeding while his wrists had been burned. Picture a hair tie on both of your wrists, then instead of the band, it's an ugly red burn. It wasn't blistered but it definitely still stings. 

He sat there in silence for a few and he didn't flinch when the cleaning supplies were wiped across his wounds. He missed the concerned look on his family's faces as he stared down at his wrists. His eyes were glued to his wrists as he saw something the others apparently didn't. 

A gold thread on both wrists…

It looked as thin as a strand of hair but it was strong enough to not snap as it pulled in the direction of the forest. He watched as it shined, it felt featherly light but he was aware enough to feel it tug him slightly. It was tight enough to be felt but not tight enough to cut off his blood circulation, it sat there like it was content with where it was. The thread wrapped around his fingers lazily, as if he reached into a bucket of strings and pulled them out, letting the strands fall from his hands. 

His eyes reflected the gold shimmer it let off as his shirt caught his attention. He looked down to his chest, where the ever persistent tug felt. His eyes widened slightly when he saw the top of a triangle peeking out of the collar of his shirt. The golden shimmer glowed softly under his shirt but he couldn't make out the shape completely. 

“Dipper?” 

Dipper looked up slowly, his attention turning to his sister who sat in front of him with a worried look. Her hair fell in front of her face slightly. He then noticed that his wrists had been bandaged, the thread sitting softly on top of the white cloth. 

“Dipper? Do you still want to go out or just stay in the shack?” Stan asked softly, something he barely did. His voice was softer but still gruff. 

Dipper watched as Mabel pouted at the thought of staying in the shack and he sighed heavily. 

‘Make my sister happy.’ He thought as he heard his knees pop. 

“What has your sister ever done for you? All the things you've sacrificed for her. When has she ever returned the favor?” 

He shivered slightly at the memory.

“Let's go.” Dipper said lazily as he forced himself to stand.

Mabel's face broke out into a blinding smile, her eyes twinkling with excitement as she jumped up and bounced to the car. Dipper would have smiled at that a couple months ago but something just felt numb…

He felt numb… the cold was back…

He watched as Stan and Ford stood up off of the porch. Stan went into the shack to put the medical kit back. Ford came up to him and handed Dipper his hat. 

“Thanks.” Said Dipper as he slipped it back onto his head, wincing slightly when the fabric rubbed against the bandage on his forehead. Ford frowned a little and put his hand on his nephew's shoulder softly. 

“If you want to, I can stay in the car with you. That is if you don't want to go into the mall?” Ford offered softly as Dipper looked up at him. 

“Well see.” Dipper responded as the two fell into a semi comfortable silence. 

“Grunkle Ford?” Dipper winced a little when his voice shook. 

Ford hummed in response to say he was listening. 

“Do you know anything about the Children of the stars?” Dipper asked, hoping he could get some answers.

Ford hummed in concentration, as if thinking deeply. 

“When I was traveling, once in a bar. But it was just the others talking about how they were having a hard time convincing the ‘children’ to comply with their trade deal. All I can say is that they must have been horribly powerful and smart in order to have been so high on the ranks. Even for out there.” 

Dipper blinked up at him for a second. That's…. It's insane that even his Uncle didn't know much about them, and he is one of the smartest guys in the universe. He probably knew more things than Dipper would ever know. Ford looked down at him with curiosity. 

“Why do you ask Dipper?” Ford asked, putting his hands in his coat pockets. 

“I've just wondered about them. Read something in a book at school.” Dipper lied as he shrugged his shoulders. I mean, how could you tell your universe traveling, all knowing uncle that you have been hearing voices and more?

There was a crash in the house and swearing coming from inside before they were left in silence despite Mabal humming softly and the sounds of the forest. Dipper frowned slightly, his eyes got darker and hardened. 

“Ford?” He asked, not bothering to use the term ‘Grunkle’ when he asked this question.

Ford looked down at Dipper with a serious look on his face, expressionless. He looked genuinely concerned and worried about Dipper not using the term. He seemed to notice that this was important.

“Yes Dipper?” Ford asked, voice coming off as serious with rounded sounds of what sounded like concern.

Dipper shoved his hands in his hoodie pockets, rocking on his heels softly. His hands crushed together in his pockets and he took a deep breath before looking out into the forest. 

“D-do you think Bill's alive?” 

…

Silence.

…

Dipper looked up to Ford's shocked expression. He watched nervously as Ford's expression shifted into a stern look. 

“Yes, it is possible.” Ford answered with a sharp voice, filled with annoyance even though it wasn't directed towards Dipper, more so towards the demon in question. 

Dipper looked at him with shock, one of the first real emotions he's shown in a while. 

“W-what?! Really?!” Dipper exclaimed as he turned to face Ford, his hands falling to his sides. Ford just looked at him. 

“Yes, really. Theoretically, it is possible. He could have even taken control of one of his past contractors, but I doubt he had time to do so.” Ford responded, his gaze frozen on Dipper, as if he was trying to read him. 

Dipper gapped like a fish out of water for a second before looking down at the glowing threads. He closed his mouth with a clunk sound as sweat ran down his neck. He could hear the faint sound of a ghostly laugh run through his ears making his eyes widen.

“Dipper, why do you as-”

Before Ford could ask why he asked, Stan ran out of the house and to the car. It was time to go to the mall and Dipper was going to use that opportunity to get away from the conversation by any means necessary. Ford was left behind to stare at Dipper with serious, concerned eyes.

Chapter Text

The car clinked and clanked as it went down the cracked road. He couldn’t help but feel slightly annoyed at the fact that the town still hadn’t fixed the road. But, then again, this was the small sleepy town called Gravity Falls that truly didn't get anything done even if the world threatened to end. 

He sighed, watching the dark green trees fly past the window. They blurred with the illegal speed Grunkle Stan loved to go. He subconsciously picked at the bandages wrapped around his wrists, not knowing how to feel about them. 

They felt slightly comforting, in an awkward way. They were soft enough to not cause discomfort, like a cold towel on a sunburn. But they also hurt and were… restricting. They felt restrictive. It made the tug in his chest pull, making him feel uneasy. The closer they got to town the worse he felt. The pine trees slowly spread out and turned into buildings, it felt like a needle being hammered into his sternum over and over again, to a constant beat. 

He shifted his legs, crossing one of them over the other into a figure four position. He tried to distract himself by focusing on his breathing. In… and out… In… and out… In-

The car door slammed shut as his sister giggled with overwhelming delight. Ford followed after her and into the mall. 

He stilled when he felt eyes on him, whipping his head up to meet yellow and black slitted eyes in the rearview mirror. He sucked in a breath that froze, hooking into his lungs, not willing to move. His eyes blew wide, shaking slightly with disbelief. It felt wrong. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt scared… this scared even. 

“I will never hurt you again, Pinetree.”

“Dipstick? You good back there?” The mouth on the familiar face moved as the words came out. But all he could make out was the distorted voice of Uncle Stan that was laced with the ear piercing voice he heard every time he closed his eyes. 

But the question was enough to restart his… everything. He swallowed and blinked. Then grew confused, because when he opened his eyes once more, the radioactive glowing yellow was gone. Uncle Stan’s eyes were hard and concerned, filled with a type of love he wasn’t used to anymore. A type of love he couldn't feel anymore…

“Dipper. Are you okay?” The older asked yet again, more serious this time.

Dipper opened his mouth to speak but nothing close to words came out. He closed his mouth and nodded a couple times. Then, he got out before the older could ask anything. 

Of course, that wouldn't stop the man once he got out of the car himself. He started to walk quicker to the mall's entrance.

“Dipper! Come on, kid. I'm worried about you. Ever since you got here you've been so-”

Stan struggled to find the right words as he lightly jogged up to the boy.

“So different. What happened? Where did my nerdy little pipsqueak go?”

Dipper didn't answer. He kept his mouth shut. He started to gently grip his shirt by his chest. The needle drilling into the bone.

“Did we do something wrong? Did we upset you? Kid, please! Open up to me, or at least someone! I want to he-”

“Shut up!”

…

It cut through the warm summer air. It made his mouth taste sour. It made his head hurt. The deep rooted fear turning heavy and cold, moldable.

“Yes, Pinetree. Show me those feelings. Let it envelope you. Let it boil your blood and chase away the ice in your veins.” 

….he could feel it… the anger… the heat… the cold dissipating once more, just like the night before. His hands clenched as his breathing got heavy.

“Let it be loud. Let it hurt.” 

He turned around to face his shocked uncle, whose eyes were filled with hurt and confusion. His head hurt. His wrists burned. His chest stung harshly. The stings pulled, turning stretched and firm.

“Let me hear it from here, child of the stars!”

“I don't need your help! Not yours! Not anyone else's! Your little pipsqueak had to grow up, and they're ok with that! They are living just fine and dandy! And they don't need your pity or worry! So, just leave me alone!” 

The words ripped out of his lungs before he could even register them. He saw the simple defeat in his uncle's eyes, and it filled him with a twisted sense of joy.

He could have cried if he had the ability to. He didn't care at that moment where it came from. All that mattered was the feeling was there. It soothed the aching and fear. The anger turned from boiling hatred into a small warm buzz, like a hug on a cold winter day. 

He took in a breath, letting the feeling soak into his very soul. Thehand clenched into his shirt released its presser, leaving his hand tired and weak. He felt that tug…. That call…

…

Then…. As quickly as it came, that overwhelmed feeling flooded out of him and into the very ground, dissipating. 

It left him feeling empty again. And that hurt more than whatever he felt before. 

He licked his chapped lips, as if trying to taste for that feeling in the air, only to come up empty. He felt the needle turn cold and still. It made him want to rip it out or itch every inch of his skin.

It was gone. And he craved for it with a hunger he had never felt before. 

“...Dipper….” 

He blinked, coming back to the world he was burdened on. He looked back over to Uncle Stan. He took in a breath.

“I'm sorry, Grunkle Stan. It won't happen again.” He wasn't sorry, not in the least. Instead, he felt… justified and correct. In a sickening sense.

He let his hand fall to his side, then turned around and walked into the mall. Leaving behind his uncle who watched him closely from the parking lot. 

“What happened to you, Dipper…”

Chapter Text

Red mixed with water washed down the sink. He sighed softly, dabbing at his bleeding forehead. It happened again. His forehead was bleeding again. At this point, he should just be wearing bandages all the time now. 

This was the third time in 2 weeks. The first time on his first day back. The second time happened after his fight with Stan. And now, after a nightmare he couldn't even remember. 

It was 3 am, if the moon shining through the bathroom window wasn't a clear sign, or by the loudest owl he has ever heard sitting in the treeline. 

He exhaustively threw away the bloody tissue paper into the garbage and looked at himself in the mirror. 

Still wrong… still cold… still… not him, anymore. 

He didn't react, only watching. Watching for what? He didn't know. It's been like that for a while now, and it was honestly starting to get annoying. 

He looked at his forehead, his birthmark red and raw. Each star looked bigger if he stared for too long. 

“Child of the stars…” He muttered into the quiet bathroom. 

“Who are you talking about?” 

He asked his reflection and waited. Waiting for something. Anything. Maybe a response or a thought. 

Silence.

“Who are you?” 

…

“What do you want from me? What do you want me to find?”

…

“Are you my subconscious? Because, if you are, this is fucked up.” 

More silence…

…

“Will you answer me? Give me anything? So I don't think I'm going crazy? Anything at all.” 

….

His reflection stayed the same. Everything stayed the same. He sighed tiredly as he ran a hand through his hair. His head hurt…. 

“Ok, then. Don't answer. You only made me lash out on my family and experience a nightmare that caused me to punch a hole into my wall without anything back in return. Sure, why not.” 

His sarcasm was left unresponded to. He looked down to his hand, the bruising on his knuckles not bothering him like he knew they should have. He hasn't experienced pain right, or at least like a human normally would.

He takes in a breath and heads to leave the bathroom. He turns off the light and goes to step out. He looks back in one more time, only to find nothing. So he left his reflection behind. 

Chapter Text

He didn't try to hide his discomfort as Mable's friends talked loudly next to him. Today was meant to be a “nice and calm day at the lake”, as Ford put it. But now he was and had been stuck listening to sharp voices and piercing laughter. 

He sat on the dirt, his feet sitting in the murky water. He watched as a candy wrapper floated by with a bored expression. Was this lake even safe? Why did they even go swimming in it when they were younger? It looked like it could cause you physical harm. 

“Dip? Don't you wanna swim with your sister and her friends?” Ford's voice filled his ears as the old man came and stood beside him, his hands resting in his shorts.

“You're kidding. Please tell me your kidding, Ford.” 

He didn't miss the look he got from his uncle. Nor did he miss the way his uncle hid it with a small smile.

“Well, you got me. This lake should be condemned in its entirety, if you ask me. It's probably radioactive at this point.” 

Ford's eyes watched him, as if he was waiting for a reaction. Dipper didn't laugh or even try to respond to the joke. The older sighed, looking back out to the lake. They both watched as Mabel got dunked under the water, coming back up drenched. Laughter came over the lake.

“It honestly makes me sad.” Ford said, and Dipper gave a small hum in reply.

“After being on the blue, salty waters for so long, seeing this green muddy mess makes me feel dirty.” 

There was silence.

“Dipper. Can I ask you a favor?” 

He looked up to his uncle, who kept his gaze on the water.

“Apologize to Stan, please.”

“Wha- but, Guncle Ford-”

“I understand he may have crossed a boundary or something of the sorts, and I apologize on his behalf. But, he was doing it because he was worried for you.” 

Dipper huffed.

“That doesn't justify his overstepping, Grunkle Ford.” 

“I know. But, that doesn't justify your response either.” 

Dipper let out a sigh, looking back down to the water.

“Why did you do it, if I may ask?” 

“No, you may not ask.” 

….

“Very well. But Dipper, please just… try. Ok?” 

Dipper nodded, kind of just trying to get Ford to leave him alone. Ford nodded once in return, then walked back to where his chair was behind them.

~~~~~~

He sighs and walks into the living room where his uncle was watching the TV. He stood there for a few, then cleared his throat.

“Grunkle Stan..?”

His uncle looked over but stayed silent. The tension was thick and heavy.

“I….” 

He takes in a breath.

“I'm sorry for yelling at you. You were only trying to help, and what I did was unfair to you.”

…

The TV gets turned off, and then his uncle gets up and pulls him into a hug. Dipper stays impossibly still. The touch doesn't feel right. It's nice, but… just… it doesn't work with him for some reason.

“I forgive ya, Dipstick. And I'm sorry, too. I just… got worried when I saw the fear in your eyes. You and Mabel mean the world to me. You mean the world to me…..” 

…

“I love ya, Dipper. You know that, right?” 

Dipper stilled slightly. He nodded, even if he… couldn't see why they would. 

…

He didn't feel like him… anymore… 

Chapter Text

Growing up, he had many names, as well as many impossible dreams. Some names he'd rather forget. But never once, had he been called a “child of the stars” until only a couple of weeks ago. 

It was… weird, and confusing. He spent most of his time in the city library when the pull to his chest wasn't too strong. Other days, when he couldn't get away from the nagging tug, he laid in bed not being able to move. 

It was nice to have a reason to get up again, even if it was just a title he had been given by his dreams. He also knows that his family was grateful for him being able to get out of his unusual funk. 

He sat at the kitchen table reading another big book from uncle Ford's basement. He's read more books in a month than he has in a year of college. He nearly jumped when big brown eyes came over her shoulder. 

“Hey, Dipdop! Whatcha up to?” Mabel asked with a curious look, trying to read the book over his shoulder.

“One of Grunkle Ford's books from his lab.” 

“What for?” 

He sighed softly, no real heat behind it.

“I'm trying to find info on what a ‘Child of the stars’ is. I'm not finding a lot. Ford told me a couple weeks ago he's only heard about them once, and that was barely mentioned.” 

Mabel lets out a small hum, sitting down next to him.

“Can I see?” 

He turns the book for her. 

“Go for it. You always seem to find out the answers before me. Maybe you'll find it out before me again.” 

~~~~~~

“Did you really find out more just by looking it up?” 

“Mhm! Computers are the best, even if they're slow.”

They both read the badly pixelated screen of the computer in the library.

“I would say I'm surprised that the library doesn't have modern day computers, but this doesn't surprise me with this town.” Mable said, still trying to read the screen. 

Dipper hums in agreement, turning down the brightness a bit and soon the screen was actually legible. It wasn't a lot of information, but there was at least half a page. 

“They're… stars..?” Mabel asked, confused. 

“Not exactly. They are stellar clusters.” 

“Stellar clusters?”

“Star clusters are large groups of stars held together by self-gravitation. Two main types of star clusters can be distinguished. Globular clusters are tight groups of ten thousand to millions of old stars which are gravitationally bound.” Dipper explains as he writes down the new information.

“Can you explain it more?” Mabel asks with a sheepish smile.

“A few hundred young stars that are more loosely spread out and able to be affected by the gravitational pull.” 

“Oh.”

…

“So…. They are just a lot of stars?” 

Dipper takes a breath in. Usually he would chuckle at that, but… he wasn't usually him right now.

“Yes, Mabel. They are a bunch of stars that can make a physical human body. Apparently they are very powerful and produce light. But the more mystical myths say that they are guardians of light and planets. They can control gravity as well as energy. They could destroy planets with just a move of a single finger. They are, well, angels and gods.”

Mabel spared him a look.

“Really? Isn't that… a little excessive?”

He shrugs.

“Isn't every supernatural thing a little excessive?”

“I guess.”

…

“Thank you for the help, Mabel.” 

“Of course, Dipdop!”

Chapter Text

There's a saying that Dipper personally felt attacked by very often. Answer one question and two more take its place. Or was it about A Hydra? 

Oh well, the same reasoning applies here. He found out what a child of the stars was. But now he had his questions triple.

Why was he getting called a child of the stars? Who was calling him this in the first place? Why was he having these episodes? What was it about being back here in this sleepy town that was driving him crazy? Why was he getting physically affected? 

Ya, well, that last one had a lot of questions in and of its own, and he was dealing with it once again. 

He had actually gotten to sleep that night and slept for hours. A very very big rarity these days for him. So, he was surprised and confused when he woke up slowly and groggily, actually feeling somewhat rested for the first time in a long while. 

He let out a small groggy groan at the knocking at his door, opening his eyes only to be blinded by sunlight.

“Hey, Dipstick. Ya decent? I'm coming in.” 

Stan's voice could be heard before squeaking hinges could be heard. It hurt his ears. 

“Hey, kid. Is today a bedrest day? I brought some breakfast. Be careful, Mabel put in some of her glitter and I don't know if it's edible or no- Holy shit! Are you ok, Dipper?” 

Dipper blinked in confusion as his uncle put the plate of pink pancakes onto the small bedside table and rushed over to him.

“Uh… ya…? I'm ok…. Just woke up actually…. Why?”

Stan huffed, then gently grabbed his chin. He lifted it up and looked over the top of his head.

“You can't feel it?” 

“Feel what…?” 

Stan gave him a concerned look. Then he brought his hand up to Dipper's forehead. When he pulled back, Dipper saw the ruby red liquid and went to feel it himself.

“It's all over your forehead and your hair. Look at your pillow, it's… I'll get you a new one. Come on, let's get you cleaned up.” 

Dipper nodded softly, letting the older man help him up and to the door. He looked back to his bed to find almost a halo-like shape of his own blood where his head was just resting. It… made him uneasy… 

He swallowed as he turned away from that… mess. Soon, he sat down on the toilet lid as Stan got a warm wet rag ready. 

His uncle gently rubbed it over his forehead, cleaning away the blood in rounds.

“Do you know what happened?” 

Dipper shook his head no, yawning once.

“No. Woke up the moment you walked in the room. I don't know how this happened.” Stan nodded softly as he started to clean off his temples.

“Well, besides this. You look like you're doing well today. How are you feeling?”

Dipper shrugged in response.

“I got to sleep, which was nice. I don't know what I dreamed, but… at least it wasn't a nightmare.” He could vaguely remember the feeling of hands through his hair and gently told stories and warmth.

Stan smiles softly at him, listening. 

“Sounds good, kid. Well I'm done. Why don't you take a shower and wash out your hair, then I'll bandage up that forehead of yours?”

Dipper nodded gently and his uncle left soon after.

~~~~~~

He stood there, looking directly at himself. It didn't feel like him….. 

“Can you just… tell me what you want from me..?”

He asked his reflection. His reflection just stared back at him like usual. 

“Please…? I feel like… I'm going insane…” 

Silence. 

He sighed. Maybe he was going crazy. But he's heard the voice before. He knows he has… 

He started to walk away, heading outside the alone bathroom.

“I thought you said you wanted something earlier, did you not?” 

He froze, looking back into the dark bathroom, only to see no one. His eyebrows furrowed as he saw the empty bathroom.

“Where are you?” He asked. 

…

“Right where you were about to leave me.” There it was again. That voice. It sounded like his, but wrong, off. 

He walked back into the dark bathroom, looking around. He looked into the shower, finding no one. 

“Behind you.”  

…

Dipper swallowed…. Slowly, he turned around to face the mirror. And like before, he was met with his reflection. Except, instead of the stilled haired him, he was met with a calm and serious version of him. Piercing blue eyes and red birthmark there and visible. 

“Why… do you have blue eyes? I have brown.”

His reflection laughed in response, it sounded grading on his ears. 

“I use an energy that you have yet to awaken.”

“An energy… I haven't awakened..?”

He stared at his reflection in silence.

“It's rude to stare, you know.”

“I-oh, sorry.” 

He looked away for a few before looking back up.

“Are you the one who's been talking to me in my sleep?” 

The blue eyed version of him hums in response. 

“I am not. After all, I am not truly here.” 

Dipper stills.

“What do you mean?” 

“I am… your awakening.” 

…

“You're the child of the stars that person keeps referring to and calling me. Why am I getting called your title?” 

His reflection falls silent, tilting his head. Those cold blue eyes tracking him.

“You were given that mark for many reasons, Mason. Why do you keep refusing it?” 

Dipper blinks in confusion, looking at the red birthmark on his- no, the other Dipper's forehead. 

“I don't refuse it. I accept it as part of me and have for years.”

“Then why does it bleed and grow sore instead of shining with serenity? You have not accepted it. And until you don't, you will never understand.” 

Dipper frowns and takes in a breath. He was taking advice from his own messed up reflection. One he couldn't even make sure was real and not just his imagination.

“And what do you suggest I do?”

It smiled, small and cold, evil… 

It lifted its identical arms, holding them up as if asking for a hug. Then, it moved forward. The glass bent and warped, cracking around the hands and forearms that protruded through in a blinding blue light. 

Dipper stepped back a few feet as his reflection broke through the glass and made its way towards him. He felt his nerves spinning as everything in him screamed to run. But it was like he was frozen in place as the hands reached out and cupped his cheeks. 

“You know what you need to do. You see him every night. Feel him in every breath and every touch. You hear him call and speak to you. You share feelings and actions.” 

Dipper sucked in a breath. Brown eyes stared back into bright translucent blue. The red birthmark on the reflection face burned away, shining a blinding white back at him. It illuminated everything around them both. 

The lights flickered before exploding, shattered glass raining down to the floor. The bathroom is being sent plunging into darkness besides the sun shining through the window. Red filled his right eye as he hissed in pain. His forehead felt like it was on fire as he watched blood run down from the dipper once again. 

Markings in white bled from the reflections arms to its hands, then to his neck. It spread as the air around them grew electric. Those blue eyes looked…. ethereal, staring into his very soul. Staring at the string tugging him to the treeline. The golden triangle that glistened on his skin. 

“Free who you love. Then you both can be complete.”

…

“Y-you…. You want me to free Bill….?” 

It came out in disbelief. The reflection smirked something vile.

“You will, and then you'll awaken. For it is and was your destiny since you were created.”