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(i. nanami)
Being jealous sucked. It sucked, sucked, sucked. It was the worst feeling he had experienced in his many years of existence in this world. How could his insides twist on themselves and his heart clench at the mere sight of Utahime...with another man which wasn't him?
Nanami and Utahime laughing together surely didn't make Satoru physically hurt. But he swore it felt like it. He really did. It felt like somebody was squeezing his heart with enough force to make it turn white (metaphorically, mind you.) and it hurt.
He was aware of his relationship status with Utahime, and how, technically, he was not in any position to feel jealous over her. Especially when he asked his friends for their opinion about his and Utahime's relationship. Unexistent, Shoko would say, stop jumping her, you will give her a heart attack one of these days, Suguru would add, but Satoru knew better.
Utahime and him were what you would call, inseparable friends, that even if they didn't spend a lot of time together, were always in each other's hearts. That was an undeniable truth to everyone with two functional eyes. (Because, duh, who did not see the sparks flying around every time they talked? The chemistry they had? The relationship potential? Exactly, no one.)
And even though that bond wasn't put to question in any moment, Gojo felt upset at the sight he still hadn't been able to tear his eyes off. And why was that? He had an idea, but he was not brave enough to actually acknowledge it.
So he just let it be, — Shoko and Suguru stood in front of him, covering the totally NOT couple from his field of vision. — like the bonafide adult he was, — he was seventeen — and didn't think about it again for the rest of the day.
That was a lie.
(ii. suguru)
Now, this had to be the next level of treason.
Nanami? He could (not) understand why Utahime would like him better than him. (why?) But Suguru? Utahime would choose his best friend over him? Ha, that's not possible. That's impossible. His eyes must be malfunctioning.
But nope. Everything he was seeing was very much true. In 3D and shit. (It was happening three feet away from him, so.)
Suguru had his hand on Utahime's shoulder, but the most shocking thing of all was that Utahime was letting him keep it there! When Satoru did as much as step an inch closer to her, she would immediately recure to social distancing and step five (more) feet apart from him. Then why, oh why, was she letting him touch her so carelessly?
He thought she didn't like being touched by the opposite gender when she avoided all of his attempts at hugging her but not Shoko's. — Suguru and Shoko didn't mind his touchiness, then why did Utahime dislike it? — but now, he saw the light. Utahime just didn't like his hugs.
Or worse! She only liked Suguru's hugs. No, that can't be. Definitely can't be....But, what if that was it? Suguru knew Satoru liked Utahime, —even if he had never told him — he would never dare to make a move on her before he could get the chance just to spite him, right? Right?
Now this...he couldn't just let it slide. He needed to confront him about it.
An eternity later of staring daggers at Suguru's profile, he stopped talking with Utahime and turned around to face him. Utahime looked at his direction too, but with a frown in her face. Ouch. She said something to which he responded a thing that made her frown disappear and then make her leave. Way to go Suguru, way to go. He started walking towards him.
Satoru was waiting for him at the end of his walking path. "Do you like Utahime?" Was the first thing to come out of his mouth. He was greeted with a face that embodied confusion and disbelief.
"What?"
"Do you like Uta—"
"No, no. I heard you the first time, I just don't understand what you mean."
"I just want to know if you like Uta—"
"I obviously don't." Relief washed all over him, as a breath he didn't know he was holding, left him. "Why would you even ask that question?"
"Because I like her," He said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. It was.
Suguru narrowed his eyes at him. Eyeing him as if he was the strangest person he had ever seen, as he had two heads or something. "...yeah, I know."
So he was right. Good. But the most important question was still left unanswered, he needed to ask it and know — the often horrible — truth.
"You..." He paused. It was a strong question, he needed to mentally prepare himself. "You don't think Utahime likes you, right?"
Satoru knew Suguru understood women far better than him, so if Utahime was crushing on him, he would know — he always knew when a girl liked him —, that's his superpower.
"Well, I suppose she likes me," His breath hitched, again. No. "but not in the way you want her to like you. At least, that's what I think." Yes. His breath returned. There's nothing to panic about. There's nothing to panic about.
"Good," Satoru exclaimed, giving little jumps out of happiness. The danger was overcomed. "Good!"
He even felt bad for doubting his best friend.
"What the hell are you doing, Satoru."
Utahime didn't like Suguru, she just, doesn't mind his hand on her shoulder (that still hurt), her heart was still available! Available for someone (him) to go and invade it!
"Satoru, stop. Everyone's looking at us."
Life was awesome. It couldn't be better.
(iii. shoko)
Life wasn't awesome. It could be a thousand times better.
And all of that could be explained with two words. Shoko and Utahime. (The 'and' doesn't count as a word.)
Satoru had felt bad for thinking poorly of Suguru just a few hours ago, so he decided to not doubt his best friends ever again in anything.
But he just didn't see this one coming.
And the worst of all was that it was a thought that hadn't ever crossed his mind. A thought he wouldn't be having if he had not overheard a conversation between to people he didn't bother to know, talking about it on the school halls.
But what if...just what if Utahime, if Utahime wasn't into men?
If she wasn't into men, he was doomed to fail!
And he explained this extreme anguish to Suguru.
"So, you heard someone said Utahime and Shoko were dating," A pause. "...and you believe it?"
"Of course not! If that were true, Shoko would've told us."
"Exactly. I don't see the problem here."
"The problem is that what if part of that statement was true. What if... Utahime wasn't, in the least, interested in men?"
Suguru shifted in the spot next to him, inching farther away from him to get a better look at him. As if to confirm what he was hearing was really coming out of Satoru's mouth. "What."
"What if Utahime hasn't told us, for whatever reason, that she is, in fact, interested in women?"
His best friend frowned, and once again, eyed him as if he were a crazy person. Which he wasn't, everything he said made perfect sense, he didn't understand that kind of reaction.
With a contemplative tone, Suguru asked, "And why would Utahime being into women would be a problem? Because you make it sound as if it were a major problem."
"It is a major problem!" He responded, in the farthest end of the spectrum of calm.
"Why?"
"Because I'm not a girl, obviously!" Satoru exclaimed, outraged that he hadn't thought of that. "Are you even paying attention to what I'm saying?"
Suguru sighed, stared pointly at him for a few seconds, and then talked.
"This has to be one of the weirdest conversations we have ever had." And the face he made of why-are-we-even-friends was sour without reason.
Suddenly, a voice came from behind them. "What are you two talking about and why is it weird?" It was Shoko. Oh no. Shoko.
"Nothing!" Satoru quickly replied, flashing a grin he hoped looked convincing enough for her to believe his words.
It wasn't.
"Are you sure you want to hear it? It could disturbe your sleep for days," His best friend told her, and for some reason it didn't look as if he was lying. But it was a lie, what he had said wasn't even weird, it was a genuine doubt he had—
"I have probably heard worse, shoot." Shoko said, and he almost wished she hadn't, so he blurted out the first thing that came to his mind.
"Do you like Utahime?"
"Satoru would become a lesbian for Utahime."
Satoru and Suguru spoke simultaneously, each one of them giving the other a weirded out look. Shoko stayed still for a moment —face not changing even a little bit —, processing what both —Suguru— had just said. Satoru didn't wait for her to talk.
"What the hell? That was not my point."
"Are you sure? That's what I understood from all your babblings. "
"I wasn't babbling, your hearing is just shitty."
"As if, you were the one talking stupid nonsense just now."
"It was not—"
A hand reached over to rest on top of his shoulder, and right after Satoru looked up to see Shoko's incredulous face, he felt a smack on the back of his head. Suguru muttered a 'deserved' and grinned.
"Ouch! What was that for!?"
"Making assumptions like that about someone isn't nice, you know?"
"But–"
"But what? Let Utahime alone, will you?"
Pursing his lips together in what was probably a pout, Satoru whimpered. "But I like her."
"Everybody knows that?" Shoko simply added, giving him three awkward head pats to make up for the hit, and spoke when he was about to object about what she said not being true. "Except Utahime."
"You make it sound as it is the most horrible thing I could have come up with."
"It surpringsingly isn't." She took a sit next to Suguru, resting her head on her open palm which was atop of her thigh. "But since we are friends, I guess I should tell you to up your game and do something."
Furrowing his brows, Satoru eyed her suspiciously. "...Why do you say that?"
Repositioning her head on Suguru's shoulder, Shoko inched closer to him. Wiggling her eyebrows in a playful manner, she sardonically said, "Why do you think?"
Shoko stuck her tongue out to him and Satoru just knew what she was referring to.
(v. nanami²)
Nanami and Utahime left the school together. And someone —Mei Mei— told him they holded hands for about ten seconds, —when he helped Utahime up after she felt to the floor — and that...that was something Satoru could only ever dream of.
Body giving up on him, Satoru fell to the ground, taking a sitting position on the sidewalk infront of the school gates, he let his head hung low. He had lost even before trying. It felt like shit.
Sighing, Satoru put his head between his hands. He needed a moment to process everything, okay? A few minutes passed in which two presences took place at each side of him.
When his sadness wasted away, the three of them stood up at the same time. He intented to walk away when suddenly his two hands intertwined with two other hands. Suguru and Shoko were holding each one of his hands.
"What are you two doing?"
Suguru said nothing, smiled until his eyes were only a crescent moon. Shoko just added a; "We are just three pretty best friends holding hands. We are not Utahime, but you were flexing your hands all the while Mei Mei told you about Nanami's and Utahime's little meeting. So...yeah." before she started walking away.
Satoru had no choice but to follow. "I hate you both." Were they the best or the worst? Something told him he would never actually find out.
utahime
He didn't wake up with the intention of seeing Utahime that morning. He didn't seek her out from the crowd of students as he always did when he arrived at the school. Satoru would not pay attention to Utahime that day. He. Would. Not.
He had forgotten it was his birthday with all that had happened yesterday.
Suguru was the first one who had congratulated him, giving him a little sugary cupcake he bought in the way there. Shoko was second, giving him a hug and claimming that would be all he would get from her that day—to then give him a coupon from his favourite dessert shop. He appreciated it.
The day was coming to a close, and he still hadn't crossed paths with she-who-shall-not-be-named. Even Nanami,— he was still salty about him getting together with her, but he managed out a thanks in return — had gotten his congratulations to him in the spare time between classes. It was strange —and made him feel immensily sad— but he would grow accostumed to it. He just needed time.
The big ass party waiting for him back home didn't excite him the way it used to. Not that the party itself was that thrilling, he simply looked forward to the list of guests. Especially one, whom he personally invited over a month ago.
Aw, he was really an idiot after all.
It was raining when the classes ended, so he decided to stay behind in the locker room until the intense pouring calmed down. (Because he obviously had to forget his umbrella today of all days.)
It turns out, he wasn't the only one thinking of the exact same thing.
"Hey," A voice whispered from besides him. He didn't look up to the owner of that sweet voice. "Happy Birthday."
"Thank you," He mumbled in a much frail voice than the one he intended to use. Pathetic.
"You didn't talk to me today, and it's fine, I don't mind in the least, but..." She paused, inched closer to him. Their shoulders were now touching. "...but I kind of wished you did. You even teased Mei Mei instead of me today and I, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm...upset."
His ears perked up, his eyes searched for hers.
"I'm upset because I even made you a gift for today." A sharp intake of breath from her part, fast enough that it didn't even let him time to talk. "I even asked Nanami for advice on how to make these and you...Gosh, I feel so stupid."
Before Utahime could even take another breath, he spoke up.
"You made something for me? And you're upset? But I thought you didn't enjoy my company."
Utahime gave him a deadly glare and a deep resigned sigh, before she started to rummage through her school bag. She got a little plastic package out of it, examined it for a few moments, and then proceeded to shove it to his face with good momentum.
"I know it's probably the most crappy gift you will get today," Utahime turned around —were her ears red?— and started walking towards the still pouring rain. "But I wasted a lot of time on them, so don't you dare throw them to the trashcan!" And with that, without even an umbrella on hand or anything to prevent her from getting soaking wet, she walked out of the gate without sparing him a glance.
Satoru let her, too stunned with having actually received a gift from her. It took five good seconds for his mind to process everything that had happened and it still didn't make sense. He looked down at his hands, unwrapped the knot that kept the plastic tied, and looked at the insides of the package.
What he saw in there left him spechless. Breathless. Thoughtless.
Inside of the package were cookies, cookies with his face on them. His face. It was him on the cookies.
Did she...did Utahime made these cookies herself? Was that why Nanami and her had spent so much time together lately? (Nanami knew about baking and that was a fact.) Did she not like Nanami then? Could he still have a chance with her?
Well, she made him a pastry. That must mean something.
If not, he will make it mean something. He would. Take it for granted. Satoru would never eat those cookies.