Chapter Text
Ranboo was walking back to his dorm when his phone rang. He already had earbuds in so he accepted the call without checking who it was. He figured the worst it could be was a scam caller. He was wrong.
“’Boo, darling!” His mother’s sickly sweet tone rang out over the phone. He was almost happy to hear her voice.
“Hey, Mom,” he responded, trying not to let his anxiety into his voice.
“Hello! How’s your day going, dear?”
He answered her questions, taking care to make it sound like he was on top of things and confident about finals coming up in a week. She seemed to genuinely care about how his social life was going, but he kept the details underwhelming, she couldn’t think he was shirking responsibility to make friends.
After he had been talking to her for about twenty minutes, she put his dad on and that’s when things went to shit. He asked about grades, assignments, projects, scouring every aspect of Ranboo’s work for a shortcoming. Eventually, he found one.
“Son, I know you know what we expect of you. You know what we find acceptable, I don’t think it’s exorbitant, do you?”
“No, sir,” Ranboo answered dutifully, he knew his lines.
“So that’s why I don’t understand why you’re letting things slide. You aren’t ordinary and you cannot afford to act like you are. You weren’t made to be subpar. I don’t understand why you’re struggling. You need to be committed. If you’re not prepared to meet our expectations, I’m not paying for your classes next semester. No classes, no board, no meal plan. You need to wake up, life’s not going to wait for you. You need to choose what’s important to you, your success or friends that won’t be around after college.”
“Yes, sir.” Ranboo responded robotically, trying to avoid letting his father’s words seep into him. He heard the beeping of a hang up. He realized he’d been standing outside his dorm door for the past couple minutes his father was lecturing him. Numbly, he opened the door, halting suddenly when he saw Tubbo and Tommy sitting on Tubbo’s bed, laughing. Shit. He didn’t really want to be around anyone right now.
Tubbo spotted him. “Ranboo! Hey, wanna join us?” He patted the spot next to him on the bed.
“No, I’m just grabbing some flashcards I left earlier. Thanks, though.” He smiled at his friend, hoping he sounded normal.
Tubbo looked back at Tommy, apparently Ranboo had passed the check. “Okay, well, Tommy and I were planning to study together later if you wanna join.”
“Thanks.” Ranboo smiled and nodded at him before grabbing the note cards from his desk, quickly leaving the dorm and walking back to the library he had just left. He had intended to take a break, but his father had reminded him that wasn’t possible for him right then, to do his best he had to make some sacrifices. It was just a week.
It’s not just a week, his brain screamed at him. It’s all of winter break, and then the spring semester, and then a summer semester, and then another fall semester. When’s it gonna be enough?
It would never be enough for his parents, but that was okay, he told himself. It would be okay because he would always have something to achieve, he would never be idle, he would always have value.
He recoiled immediately at this thought. When had he tied his value wholly to his productivity level? Nevermind that now, he had to study, then go to tutoring, and then study with Tommy and Tubbo. Everything would be great. He would be great.
------
Tutoring had been intense. He was still struggling with most of the calculus concepts he was supposed to have mastered by now. He honestly just wanted to go home and go to sleep, but he had to study with Tubbo and Tommy first. The clingy duo, his deliriously exhausted brain provided. He just hoped he could stay awake and composed that long, the last thing he needed was his friends pestering him, too. He knew he wasn’t doing well enough, he didn’t need them to rub it in.
The trio usually studied at the cafe on campus, but this time Tommy had offered up the student center. Ranboo wasn’t sure if he was dreading the location change or welcoming it; on the one hand it had comfortable couches and he would do anything for just a little bit of rest right about now, on the other hand it was very possible he’d end up falling asleep during their study session, something he could not afford the week before finals.
When he arrived at the student center, he saw that Tommy and Tubbo had already selected a table, Tommy waving him over wildly. They had gotten the best one, there was an L-shaped couch around a square table in the corner. He was particularly fond of it due to how little attention it attracted, but with Tommy’s yells and laughs, the table might prove to be more of a distraction to the room around it.
“Ranboo!” Tubbo yelled when he saw him. He had gotten into a habit of doing that. He always sounded so genuinely excited to see him. Ranboo wanted to cry.
“Hey guys!” Ranboo called back, sliding into the seat next to Tommy. He pulled his laptop out of his bag, along with a notebook and a couple pens. “What are you two working on?”
“World Lit,” they supplied in sync, dissolving into laughter in a way that just seemed so youthful, so carefree. Ranboo wanted to cry.
“Cool,” he replied, sounding somewhat choked. He opened his notebook up to where he had written his notes from his tutoring session. He started copying them into his Word document, reiterating term definitions and studying the steps of equations. Tubbo and Tommy chattered on in the background, frequently bursting into laughter. Ranboo wanted to cry.
He finished copying his notes and retyping definitions. His hands stilled on the keyboard. He stared at the screen blankly. He needed to move. Work a few more equations. Switch to another subject. Re-read his readings, edit essays, outline more, study his pre-existing outlines, do extra credit work, anything, anything productive. Ranboo wanted to cry. But he couldn’t, he didn’t have time, he didn’t have the energy to waste, he couldn’t be weak.
Ranboo burst into tears.
“Shit!” Tommy exclaimed, turning away from Tubbo quickly, hands hovering unhelpfully around his upset friend. “Shitshitshit,” he muttered, trying to figure out what to do. He looked to Tubbo frantically. “What do I do?” He asked urgently, in a very poorly done stage whisper.
Tubbo had only seen him like this once before. Ranboo was the put-together one. He was anxious, but composed. He was steady, the rock of the group. He had been there for Tubbo and Tommy countless times. Tubbo had no idea how to help him. He got up swiftly and walked over to the other side of his friend.
“Ranboo, what’s wrong, man? How can we help?” Tommy was still looking at him like Tubbo had the answer, Tubbo returned this with the same frantic look Tommy had given him earlier. Ranboo was covering his face and sobbing, shaking his head like it was supposed to be an answer.
Tubbo was growing more concerned by the second. “You stay with him, I’m gonna grab some water,” he said to Tommy, quickly running off to the vending machines.
Tommy hesitantly wrapped his arms around his friend, desperately attempting some sort of comfort. Ranboo immediately reciprocated, burrowing his head into Tommy's chest and gripping the blonde’s shirt for dear life. Tommy petted his friend’s split-dye hair hesitantly. Ranboo just sobbed harder. He didn’t know if that was a good sign, but Tommy continued, starting to gently comb his fingers through his hair.
Tubbo returned with a bottle of water and a plastic cup, filling the cup before sitting on Ranboo’s other side, quietly rubbing his back as his sobs slowed. The tears continued, accompanied by sniffles instead of the sobs that had previously wracked their friend’s body. After a few minutes of this, he sat up slowly, wiping his face.
“Hey, bud,” Tubbo spoke up. “Can you drink some water?”
Ranboo nodded mutely, picking up the cup and bringing it to his lips in slow motions. He took a few sips before setting the cup back on the table.
“Do you wanna tell us what happened?” Tommy asked in a tone gentler than any other Ranboo had heard from the man. Ranboo shook his head, leaning back in his seat, breaking the stoic posture he had previously held.
“I’m sorry,” he said hoarsely.
Tubbo’s brow furrowed more, somehow, as he shook his head.
“Hey, hey, no, it’s alright,” Tommy said. “No need to apologize, big man.” His grand tone returned, trying at a sense of normalcy to try to make Ranboo more comfortable. “What was that about, huh? Are you okay?”
Ranboo sniffled again. “No,” he said, voice watery, though there was a lot of force behind the word, like it was hard to get out. “I just- god, I don’t know.” He wiped at his face again. “My parents called me today, and I’ve just been really stressed out.”
Tommy cringed internally at the generous usage of the word ‘just.’ It had taken him a while to learn not to diminish his own feelings, so he recognized the pattern quickly. Then he realized what Ranboo had said. “Wait, what happened with your parents?”
“It’s just, like, it feels like they expect a lot sometimes, and it… I don’t know, I just can’t deal with that during finals. I’m already-” He quickly drew in a breath, tears coming to his eyes again. When he continued his voice was quieter. “I’m already super stressed out, y’know? Like, I already know how important this is. I shouldn’t- his words shouldn’t affect me, I’ve heard them all before, but-” Ranboo shrugged helplessly.
“Ranboo, do you like your parents?” Tubbo asked bluntly.
Ranboo looked up at him with wide eyes, evidently shocked. Tommy shook his head at his friend from behind Ranboo’s back, he thought this could blow up in their faces. “I- I love my parents, Tubbo.” He sounded indignant.
“That’s not what I asked.”
“They provide for me, they raised me-”
“But do you like them?”
Ranboo hesitated for a moment before answering. “Not particularly. But it’s not fair-”
“Don’t pick up the phone, then.” Tubbo crossed his arms, like it was a final decision. Like it was easy.
“Tubbo-”
“I reckon they’re having a negative effect on your mental health, am I right?”
“Yes, but-”
“Then you have no obligation to have them in your life.” Ranboo didn’t believe him, it was written all over his face. “Ranboo,” Tubbo’s face softened from the look it had previously held of determination. “I’m not, like, forcing you or anything, okay? I just want you to be happy, man. I love you.”
Ranboo stopped himself from saying that his happiness wasn’t important. Somehow, he had a feeling that wouldn’t go over well.
Tommy spoke up from the other side of Ranboo, where he had been uncharacteristically quiet. “Would you wanna come to my house? For winter break and shit? I know we’d all love to have you and Tubbo lives really close by, too. It would be fucking amazing, man.”
“I‘ll think about it.”
After that, Tommy and Tubbo ushered him back to his dorm, Tommy making the executive decision to stay the night, not that it mattered since he practically lived there anyway. Tubbo made a cup of tea and made Ranboo get into bed immediately, making Ranboo feel so much like a child. Once Ranboo was under the covers, Tubbo put the tea on his nightstand.
“G’night boss man,” he said, ruffling his friend’s hair before going over to his own bed himself.
A couple minutes later, Tommy started climbing into Ranboo’s bed.
“What are you doing?” Ranboo asked, sounding more like himself than he had all night.
“Do you expect me to sleep on the floor?” Tommy responded, in his trademarked indignant tone. And then, softer. “I absolutely can if that’s better for you, man.”
“No, it’s fine, just… surprised me.” He smiled reassuringly at his friend. Tommy returned to his confident demeanor, stealing most of the covers as soon as he had snuggled up next to Ranboo. Ranboo fell asleep with a smile on his face.
———
Over the course of the next week, Ranboo hardly felt alone. Every few hours, Tubbo would show up at his spot in the library with a drink or snack and stay until Ranboo finished it. Tommy came by between his classes, offering an entertaining story or listening to Ranboo ramble about the latest subject he had been studying. Ranboo went to classes and when it was over, one of them would be waiting for him and walk with him back to the dorm or the library.
Even when he was alone, he felt loved just by the empty Starbucks cup on his desk, or the extra notes from Tommy’s advanced math courses. It was these little small things that helped him make his decision. It was an entirely new feeling for him, to have his stress eased by those around him. And so, that Friday, at one a.m., as he and Tommy were walking back from the library, Ranboo told him his decision.
“Tommy?”
Tommy hummed in response.
“Did you mean it, when you asked me to spend winter break with you?” He looked at Tommy’s face, wanting to catch any uncertainty.
Tommy’s face lit up. “Absolutely, man, it’d be fucking awesome.”
“I was thinking, I think I wanna do that. If it’s still okay.”
He smiled wider. Tommy grabbed him roughly in a hug. “It’s gonna be fucking poggers man, you’ll get to meet my dogs and everything.”
The whole walk back to the dorms, Tommy jabbered on about holiday plans and past Christmases with the Watson clan. Ranboo had a smile on his face, finals far from his mind.