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Gus always knew Shawn would come back to Santa Barbara. He didn't know when or in what state, but he always knew that one day, he'd find his best friend back on his doorstep, grinning like nothing had changed. That's just how Shawn is. And Gus would welcome him back because that's just what their friendship is. No matter how many years pass, no matter what shenanigans Shawn drags him into, they'll always be best friends.
That doesn't mean he has any idea what to do with a baby.
"Please stop crying," begs Shawn, pacing back and forth across Gus' living room, rocking the shrieking bundle in his arms with urgency. "C'mon, you're so small. How do you not get tired?"
"Maybe that's why she's crying?" says Gus over his laptop, looking back at the dozen tabs he has open about babies. "We could try putting her in the carrier again."
He's only known Shawn's baby for an hour and a half, but she's been crying for most of it, and they've tried everything to make her stop. They replaced her diaper even though it was already clean, offered her a bottle of formula she refused to let anywhere near her mouth, and gave her a pacifier with just as effective results. It's nearly midnight and Gus fully expects to get some strongly-worded complaints from his neighbors in the morning.
Shawn makes a pitiful noise, like a dying racoon. "Gus, thanks for the help, but maybe you should just get some earplugs and go to sleep."
"You need sleep, too." Out of the three of them, he needs it the most; when Gus opened his door, the second thing he noticed after the baby strapped to Shawn's chest were the dark circles under his eyes. They're the size of the moon. Gus would bet that Shawn has barely slept in the three weeks since Abby was born.
"I'm fine," says Shawn, like someone who is absolutely not fine would say. "You don't even have to worry about the pull-out bed, I'll just..." He gives up his pacing to collapse onto the couch. Abby wails harder. "You'll go sleep, and we'll sit here, and maybe we'll both start crying, and it'll be fine."
"Yeah, that's not happening." Gus gives up his Googling to sit next to Shawn, wincing at how the crying hurts more up close. He can feel a migraine coming on, but Shawn came here for his help. He'll risk it for Shawn's sanity. He hesitates before holding out his arms. "Lemme try?"
"Gus..."
"I'm not going to bed till you do, Shawn."
Shawn side-eyes him for a long moment. Gus raises an eyebrow. Finally, Shawn says, "Alright, do your worst. Abigail-" He holds her up by the armpits to look at her bright red, scrunched up face. "You be good to uncle Gus, okay? Don't burst his eardrums, he needs those."
The title of uncle does something funny to Gus' stomach, but he doesn't have time to dwell on it as the precious crying bundle is placed in his arms. She's so warm. So small. Shawn hovers a little, stroking her wet cheek and saying, "Make sure you support her head."
Gus almost says, yes, Shawn, I've held a baby before, but he looks... really anxious right now. "Yeah," says Gus. "I got her."
Shawn nods to himself before sitting back a little. Gus can still feel his arm brush up against his side.
Abby was pretty cute when she first showed up at Gus' apartment, still sound asleep in her carrier. She's got chubby cheeks, even chubbier little thighs, and hands so small she could barely fit them around his finger. The crying kind of makes her look like a gremlin - a cute one, but a gremlin all the same. Gus strokes her back and murmurs, "Hey, hey, it's okay."
Shawn had tried a lullaby earlier, but he sounds like a dying cat at the best of times; this is not one of those times. Gus at least knows how to carry a tune. He swallows. He glances at Shawn, who's watching them both intently, all the while not trying to nod off onto Gus' shoulder.
Right. Gus wracks his brain for a second, psychs himself up, and takes a breath in. Then he starts to sing. "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine..."
It doesn't work right away. Abby wails through the first two lines, but she tones it down to a whimper by the third. Which is a good thing, both for his eardrums and the fact that he doesn't feel like singing the more religious verses, so he just repeats the first one. Steadily, Abby calms down with each one; by the third repetition, she's reduced to whimpering with the occasional sob. By the fifth, she's whimpering. It takes seven for her to quiet down, sucking her thumb and staring up at Gus with big, watery eyes. He realizes they're the same hazel as Shawn's.
Chin hooked over Gus' shoulder, Shawn breathes, "I could kiss you right now, dude."
"Please don't," whispers Gus. "Uh. What do we do now?"
As slowly and carefully as they can, they put Abby back in her carrier, praying to any and all powers that be as they do. She whimpers a little when they let her go, but it only takes some humming from Gus (and a swat to Shawn's shoulder when he tries helping) for her to quiet back down. Then, like a miracle, she's asleep.
Shawn and Gus sit there for a minute. "Thanks," says Shawn.
"Don't mention it."
"No, seriously." Gus turns his head. Shawn is hunched in on himself a little, watching Abby. "I just... Thank you." Then he slumps forward, hiding his face in his hands, and laughs. "Fuck, dude, what am I doing?"
"Shawn-"
"I don't know how to be a dad. A good dad. I can't even get her to stop crying and you fix it in, like, a minute."
Gus hasn't seen Shawn spiral like this before. Shawn is the one who calms Gus down from his anxiety, not the other way around. He purses his lips and puts a hand on Shawn's shoulder. "Babies cry, that's just what they do. You're doing the best you can."
"What if that's not good enough?" When Shawn lifts his head, his eyes are red. That could be from the sleep deprivation. It could also be the tears. "Becca wasn't ready for a kid. Neither of us were, but we were gonna do it together. So when she changed her mind, I thought I could just do it on my own, but- I don't know. I really don't know, man."
This is the first time Shawn's mentioned Abby's mom by name. When Gus had asked where she was, Shawn just said, She didn't want it, and that had been that. Gus lets the new information sink in, squeezing Shawn's shoulder all the while, ignoring him wiping at his eyes.
"She wanted to give her away. Like, to get adopted." Shawn sniffs. "I almost said yes, 'cause what else was I gonna do? But then I saw her, and... She was so little. She's a whole little person. I helped make a person. I couldn't..."
Gus wraps an arm around Shawn's shoulders. Shawn shudders against him, pressing a hand against his mouth. "I love her so fucking much and I don't know what to do."
"Well, first, I'm gonna hug you before we both turn into sobbing messes and wake her up again." At that, Shawn all but yanks him into a bear hug. Gus strokes his back, blinking quickly, trying not to linger on the sight of his best friend breaking down in front of him. "And then, when we're done hugging, we're both gonna go to sleep. Tomorrow, I... I can take a day off."
"Are you sure-"
Gus shushes him. "No, no, I will take a day off. And then we'll figure out how to take care of a baby because I also have no idea what I'm doing. You know that, right? You know that I'm freaking the hell out on the inside."
Shawn's voice is muffled against Gus' shoulder. "You hide it very well."
"Yeah, that's cause I'm the only one here with some kind of sleep schedule." If Shawn and Abby are gonna be staying here, though, Gus can kiss that goodbye. He's definitely not kicking them out any time soon. They'll get there when they get there. "We're gonna figure it out, Shawn, I promise. You're both gonna be fine."
Shawn takes a shuddering breath. Gus is suddenly afraid that Shawn is about to start sobbing, but then he just says, "I'm gonna need a little more hugging before the adulting starts."
Gus laughs. At least Shawn can't see if a tear or two escapes his own eyes. "Yeah. Yeah, me too."
At least Abby sleeps through it all.