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Anticipation was the most predominant emotion Connor felt on Christmas Eve. That, along with mingling excitement and happiness. It was his first holidays as a free android, after all.
The build-up to the day had been eventful. Throughout the month they’d been holiday shopping, putting up decorations, parties at work and with his friends at Jericho… now, the fateful day had almost arrived.
He was also confused. Not entirely sure what the day would entail, despite having asked Hank enough times about his festive traditions.
“Uh, wake up. Do gifts and shit. Pig out on food and fall asleep on the couch.”
The description was simple, yet still boggled his mind. The events of the day sounded normal but yet—
He still thought about it often. So often, in fact, that it consumed the entirety of his mind once he got into bed and shut his eyes.
Christmas. What would it be like? Would he enjoy it? Would he and Hank have fun? And Sumo, of course. Would Hank like the gifts he’d gotten him? Would it be just as fun as all of the seasonal activities they’d done throughout the month?
His eyes flicked open. He groaned, pushing himself up in bed. His mind wouldn’t shut up. So excited for the next day that it wanted that day to be right now.
Even turning on the white noise machine Hank had gave him a while ago for insomnia didn’t work. This… didn’t feel like insomnia, anyway. Not in the usual sense, where he was stressed or scared from a nightmare. This wasn’t that. Then, what was it?
That question bothered him too along with the rest of the noise, so it wasn’t long before he got out of bed and walked down the hallway, tapping against Hank’s bedroom door.
“Mm… who is it?”
Connor nudged the door open with his foot. Inside the room, Hank fumbled for the light switch.
“Oh. What’s got you up?”
“I…” He then stopped, frowning. What would he say? That he couldn’t sleep? That suddenly sounded very childish in his head.
“…came in here to watch me sleep?”
Connor spluttered. “No. I just… never mind.” He turned to leave, but—
“Get back in here. I know something’s up, don’t try and pull that shit on me.”
He sighed, walking back into the room.
“Spill it. C’mon, I won’t judge you.”
“Fine. I… can’t sleep.”
“Oh. Uh, s’it nightmares again?”
“No. See, it’s stupid. It’s just…”
“Oh. Ohhh, wait a second. I think I know. You just—can’t sleep?”
“Exactly.”
“Is it ‘cause it’s Christmas tomorrow?”
“Maybe. I don’t know! I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s not that I’m stressed about it. My stress levels are actually very low right now. But…”
“Come over here.” Hank, now sitting up, patted the spot beside him on the bed. Once Connor was seated, he continued. “I know what you mean. Cole… he used to get like this on Christmas Eve. It’s nothing to worry about. You’re just excited, that’s all.”
Connor stared at him. “I’m… not a child, Hank. I don’t—”
“Blah, blah, blah. It’s your first Christmas. You’re allowed to be excited. Doesn’t make you a child.”
“Well… it still doesn’t make sense. I know that Christmas is tomorrow. It won’t be long.”
“Yeah, well, emotions don’t make a lot of sense. You know that by now.”
“…okay. I guess I understand what the problem is now. I’ll—”
But before he could get off the bed, Hank held up his hand.
“You don’t have to go. Still haven’t solved the problem, have we?”
Connor looked at him, confusion evident on his face.
“If you go back to bed right now, what’re the chances you’re gonna fall asleep?”
“I’m… unsure.”
“You’re not, are you? But don’t worry. I know a trick.”
He gestured to the covers, pulling them back.
“You’re… going to give me your blanket?”
Hank groaned.
“No, for fuck’s sake. Come on. You can sleep in here tonight.”
“Uh…”
Hank stopped, looking away and thinking hard. “…or maybe that’s weird. Sorry. Fuck, I…”
“It’s not weird. I just—you don’t want me laying beside you. That’s…”
Connor stopped as well. He knew well enough what the problem was. He was close with Hank, sure. But he’d never been so close to someone, to look up to them as a father figure of sorts, so close he might share a bed with them to calm himself down on Christmas Eve night.
“I don’t deserve that.” Is what he finished with.
Hank stared at him, blinking hard. “Don’t… deserve what? The hell are you talking about?”
“Why do you care so much, Hank? You’ve sacrificed so much to take me in and spend this holiday season with me… I don’t…”
“Don’t ever say that.”
He looked across to Hank; now seeing his eyes were wet, glistening with unshed tears.
“Don’t you ever say that about yourself. Please, Connor, those fuckheads at Cyberlife might’ve made you think you were never goin’ to have a normal life. But you are. You have one. And you… You deserve it, alright?”
Connor nodded, taking the edges of the cover in his hands. “Okay.” He conceded. “Alright. I appreciate the offer. I—”
His words cut off as he was wrapped in a hug. He smiled, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath.
“You deserve everything.” Hank repeated. “You deserve the best fuckin’ Christmas tomorrow, alright? I’ll pull myself together.”
“You do too, Hank.” He replied.
“Yeah, alright. Alright.”
And they sat like that for a while longer, until Hank’s back started aching and they had to pull apart.
“How about we calm down and actually get some sleep tonight?”
“Sounds like a plan.”