Work Text:
Ellandra’s heart is already leaping in her chest as Leliana drops from the chains holding her captive. Ellandra feels her body sink deeper into guilt, feel it sink into the scars marring her body, the crags forged by her fight for life in the circles – it was nothing compared to what the rest of her companions had been through.
She runs her eyes over Leliana’s haggard features, the deep grooves and bone-tired weariness that coats her skin, wrists rubbed raw, hacked open and weeping with pinpricks of crimson from the shackles that had her bound for so long.
“Leliana I-“She’s interrupted almost immediately, cut off with a harsh look from the former Spymaster. Her mouth snaps closed audibly, the absolute look of anger and regret strikes Ellandra to the core, and she knows now that the only way to atone for her actions would be to slit Alexius’ throat and get them back to their own time.
“There’s one more of us we have to collect.” Leliana states in her thick accent, grimly looking over to the Herald, who feels her stomach sink even lower, she didn’t think she could handle much more of seeing her companions in pain, pain that she was responsible for.
Ellandra had tried her very hardest since falling out of the rift at Haven to protect them, to take the brunt of every attack, every doubt and harsh word fell on her, she’d take the sword and get back up and take it again if she had to – she was ridiculously stubborn like that.
But seeing them all now, Cassandra and Leliana especially, sick to the core and glowing with the aftereffects of Red Lyrium, all hope and promise gone from their eyes.
It made her sick.
This was the one thing she couldn’t protect them from, she couldn’t bear this burden for them, they were already too far gone, and now the only thing she could do to try to make it right was get back and try to move on.
Leliana shoved open one last door, rushing down the steps into a long chamber that held only one occupied cell. Ellandra stepped in behind her, watching as Leliana quietly murmurs to the figure huddled in the corner. Cassandra throws her a look of regret and sorrow as she steps closer, standing shoulder to shoulder with Leliana now as the figure looks up, amber eyes widening in shock just as her own do, filling with tears as she watches him struggle to his feet.
“You’re alive.” He whispers, catching himself on the wall of the cell, his pupil ringed in red as he runs his eyes over her. She whimpers at his voice, trying to stop her eyes from straying, but what they had done to him was much too obvious to ignore.
The lyrium had taken over his body, his old self just barely hanging on as he panted, leaning up against the cell. His armour was now melded to his body, bright lances of red lyrium striking out from his chest and arms. The jagged piece that cut through his chest was the largest, coating almost the entirety of his breastplate, before moving down and splitting his stomach in two, she knew that if he turned it would emerge from his lower back, speared through his flesh, throbbing with horrific energy that was slowly eating him up.
There were small pieces jutting from his cheeks too, breaking through the skin like small mountains against the pale plains of his features. She couldn’t stop the tremble of her lower lip, watching as he looked down at her in concern, watching the tears swim behind her ice cold eyes.
“What have they done to you?” she whispers, reaching through the bars with shaking fingers to brush them over his hallow cheeks. His eyes slide closed at her touch, a sad smile overtaking his scarred lips as he leans into her warm hand.
“They forced it into me; it’s easier to turn Templars… even former ones.” He whispers, his eyes sliding open to stare down at her, smiling softly as if to reassure her open concern. She sniffles, nodding her head as Leliana touches her shoulder, moving her backwards to pick the lock on the cell, pulling it open.
Before Leliana can even think, Ellandra steps into the cell, throwing his arm over her shoulders before helping him gingerly step outside the cell, trying not to let her tears slip at every grunt of pain that wracks his body with every step.
“I’m sorry.” Ellandra whispers, there was no way she would ever forgive herself for this, for doing this to her companions, her advisors… her friends. It was her fault, this would be the fate of the world should she fail, she knew now the consequences of her dying, she didn’t have a choice any more, she would kill the darkspawn magister and put an end to this chaos.
Cullen squeezes the hand he’s holding, the reassurance only helps marginally; she can still feel the thick fog of regret and shame, sitting like a rock in her stomach, growing bigger with every step she and Cullen take.
They finally emerge out into the main hall, unlocking the doors leading to Alexius’ throne room, seeing his son chained and clawing like a dog at a muzzle. All of this just for his son to turn into that, into a horrific creature who only knew pain.
She gives Leliana a swift nod when she looks over, letting her put the boy out of his misery. Cullen pulls back at the sound of the demons screeching from outside, the cracking of marble as they grow closer.
She barely hears Dorian and Leliana arguing about how long the spell would take, too focused on Cullen unwinding himself from her, watching as he nods to Cassandra and Sera, their eyes hardening as they look to her.
“No.” Ellandra cries, stepping forward to try to dissuade them. “I wont let you die for me!” Cassandra smiles slightly, shaking her head at the stubborn nature of the mage.
“We’re all bloody dead anyways, aint much that’s gonna change that Herald.” Sera quips, pulling an arrow from her quiver before shooting her one last wink, turning towards the doors with Cassandra.
Cullen looks to her, smiling gently as she shakes her head, a few traitorous tears leaking from her eyes as she reaches for him, trying to stop him from walking outside to his death. “Don’t.” she whispers, trying to quell the trembling of her fingers as he wraps his hands solidly around them.
“I need to buy you and the mage as much time as possible Herald.” He says, nodding towards Dorian who is still preparing the ritual. “Without that time we’ll all die anyways, the only way to fix this is if you get back to the present.”
She whimpers, trying to keep herself under control, but the knowledge that he’ll be walking outside to his death was too much to bear. She’d only just let herself feel anything for him, looking past the ex-Templar portion of his life, getting to know him better as they laughed and chatted outside in the snow, cheeks and noses red and raw, hiding her blush as he turned that warm amber gaze on her.
She was falling for him, quickly, and now knowing that she was about to send him away to die, all so that she could live – it was just the cherry on top of her already growing regret.
Ellandra struggles for words, trying to form a sentence as he leans down and presses a lingering kiss to her forehead.
“If its to keep you alive, I don’t mind giving my life up.” He whispers against her skin, slowly pulling away before turning and striding through the door without a glance behind, leaving her a quivering mess as Dorian pulls her to the steps, forcing her to channel her magic, to steady her hands and breathe for once.
It’s not long before the door is being bashed in by Terror demons, the sound of the stone hurtling across the room startling her as she whirls.
She wishes she hadn’t immediately.
Two demons enter, one holding the mangled bodies of Cassandra and Sera, crushed and ripped beyond all recognition, a few stray pieces of hair left here and there, soaked crimson with blood as they’re thrown to the side without care.
The body the second demon carries makes her scream out, a hoarse cry leaving her so quickly she didn’t have any time to restrain herself. It throws Cullen’s body to the side, leaving a wide streak of his blood across the marble where the body skitters, rolling to a stop close to the edge of the stairs.
He looks up at her lifelessly; his eyes were not wide with fear as she had anticipated. Instead, his final moments are written upon the cold stone of his corpse now, grim, determined, ready to face everything head on and bring it down, for the Inquisition… for her.
She feels the tears slipping from her cheeks, moving to go to him, to touch his lifeless body to reassure herself it wasn’t all a dream… or maybe convince herself that it was a dream, she didn’t know.
Dorian’s hand grasping her wrist stops her, pulls her back from the brink and turns her away from where Leliana is fighting a losing battle, speaking the chant with grim resolve. “You move, and we all die!” he yells over the howling wind of the spell, the portal that will take them back to their own time, where she can fix everything, where Cullen and her friends are alive.
She casts one last look at Cullen’s body, vowing that this future will never come to pass, before she looks up at Leliana, caught in the grasp of a terror demon. Leliana gives her a nod, telling her that its okay, that she can go on.
Ellandra feels her heart break at Leliana’s sacrifice, a dull ache that spreads through her, she barely has any time to mouth ‘I’m sorry’ at the Spymaster, before the demons talons have speared her through the stomach, and she is set upon by the other demons.
Dorian calls to her, tugging at her hand insistently, and together they rush through the portal, stepping out in front of Alexius with a look of pure, absolute rage written across her stony features.
He would pay for what he had done.