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Clothing was disgusting. Shoes were tough and dirty, shirts and jackets often had hard little buttons, and dresses were made of so much fabric that they easily got caught in his throat and made it hard to swallow anything. More often than not, the clothes were dyed with awful tasting mixtures where even the smell made him feel queasy. White was often the worst even though folks called it a pure color; they weren’t smelling the white clothes like he did. But worst of all, the clothes getting stuck in his throat came with a realization of what he was eating. Then he’d get sick and feel terrible until the hunger overthrew his rational thought once more. It was just easier that, when the hunger started raving throughout his body, he would demand that whoever triggered it should strip. Usually they were so terrified that they either did it in hopes of saving their lives (but he never saw them again) or froze up with an inability to do anything (then his last memories before blacking out would be tearing the clothes off them).
And now she wanted to put clothes on him!
He’d jumped up on the dresser and crouched down to glare at her. She might still have one of those switches around even if they’d swapped rooms (the other one was dreadfully messy). “Why should I wear those?”
“No one goes out without clothes,” she said. She was already in a white dress and shoes, plus some shiny stones around her neck and wrists. Now that he thought about it, she was lovely to look at like this too. All that stuff would make her terrible to eat, which was probably a good thing if he kept control of himself.
“I never wore clothes,” he said, staying on the dresser. “I hate them.”
“But they want to redo our wedding now that you’ve been transformed,” she said. “And won’t you get cold without clothes?”
He shook his head. “Won’t clothes overheat me? I just lay in the sun if I’m cold, and return to the shadows if I’m warm.”
“That’s improper now. And what about during the winter in a few months? You’ll want to be wearing clothes then.”
Shaking his head again, he said, “I just hibernate in a cave over the winter. I don’t need clothes and I don’t want them.”
“You’re going to be living a normal life now,” she said, coming closer to him. “You’re a human, so you’ll need to learn the rules of human society. And that includes being dressed.”
“I didn’t ask to be human,” he said, clutching his chest. This skin felt soft and flimsy; he could feel bone and muscle under there without much effort. His old skins couldn’t be cut by any blade. “I was fine living in the forests.”
“Then why were you looking for a bride?” she asked. “Just to eat her?”
“No. I was told by an old witch that my curse would break if I married and my bride survived. That would let me live in peace in the forest and eat whatever I like.”
She seemed to be studying him, although it wasn’t the same as he saw from predators. “You did this to eat what you like?”
He nodded. “Of course. Sometimes I could eat what I like; apples are great when I find them. But most of the time when I feel hungry, evil magic screams in my mind and everything goes blank. I only figured out that I was eating people because a blind man who was kind to me disappeared and I woke up in his empty house. I tried staying in the forest far from people, but they kept stumbling across my path. When I found the way to break the magic, it was nothing that I could do much about. Thus I must thank you for ending the voice of that hunger, if it’s gone. But do I really have to deal with clothes?”
“If you were still a lindworm, it’d be okay for you to just hide back in the forests,” she said. “But you’re not and you’re married to me. Remember our vows? I will take care of you and you will take care of me. I’ll help you get used to your new life. But you’ll have to get dressed to begin with. Tell you what: I’ll give you a kiss once you’re looking presentable.”
A kiss? What did that matter? Physical contact usually caused the hunger to overcome him. But, that would prove that it was gone. He almost agreed to it, but another thought made him pause. “Do you mean to hit me again?”
“No, I won’t,” she said. “I did that because it was the only thing that would let me survive. I met an old woman in the woods who gave me that advice. At the time, I didn’t really think of who she might be. If she was a witch, she’s probably a troublemaker.”
“No, she tries to be good,” he said, thinking it must’ve been the same witch. “She was never afraid of me and would step out of my path. But if you don’t follow her instructions on magic exactly, there will be trouble. She gives them clearly, but there have been so many people who can’t or won’t follow them. It causes her a lot of grief, but there’s not much she can do about other people’s doings.”
“It was a crazy set of steps I had to do, but I’m alive and you’re a human now, so it worked out.”
“The more the spell is messed up, the more complicated the spell to solve that will be. It’s lucky I never ate that witch, although I did eat the fairy who was the real troublemaker.”
That surprised her. “A fairy was behind your transformation?”
He nodded. “It was notorious in the forest for playing tricks that ruined lives. I’ve seen an owl that had its wings turned into those of a dragonfly; it had no idea how to fly anymore and eventually starved. The fairy was also the reason that my first friend was blind. The fairy also thought it was hilarious when it met me. Eventually, it boasted that my form was a result of its trickery. The king had rebuked the fairy for its cruel tricks, which made it very angry. When he got married, the fairy snuck into their bedroom every night while they slept. It would write somewhere on the walls and on their furniture that they would never have children.
“Of course, that distressed them greatly. After a while, my mother consulted the old witch. She failed to follow the instructions exactly. The fairy was watching from a tree in the garden and saw the opportunity to make more mischief. If my mother had followed the instructions as given, she would have had a single daughter. Because she didn’t, she would have a single son instead. The fairy decided to change the son she was getting from the spell into a lindworm; that was me. But it turned out that the original trickery was a bluff since my twin brother was born fine and normal. The fairy loved to make fun of me, so eventually I just ate it.”
“It’s good to hear that a bad fairy like that is gone,” she said. “I think I’ve heard of that one; my mother used to say that you should always carry something made of iron through the forest to keep safe from the fairies.”
“It gave me an awful heartburn,” he said, grimacing at the reminder. “There are other fairies too, but not as bad. The forest isn’t a bad place to be.”
“Neither is the castle once you get used to it.” Then she smiled and leaned forward. “This has been a lovely talk, but we’re no closer to getting you dressed. And remember, I’ll give you a kiss once you’re done.”
“That was strange yesterday.”
“It could be different today.”
While it would be a good test of if he was truly uncursed, it’d be terrible if he wasn’t. “What does wearing clothes get me? Living in a big stone castle with lots of people around who might be afraid or resentful of me? And somebody might come to kill me for eating my other two brides. I’d deserve that, although everyone else doesn’t deserve a war that might come of that.”
“Then you do feel guilty about that?” she asked, pleasantly surprised.
“Why wouldn’t I? I never asked to eat other intelligent beings. My friend told me that we should honor all life, but I couldn’t stop myself from ending it.”
“That’s right, but I heard from people that they found you content and asleep on the day after.”
This time, he gave her the puzzled look. “Why wouldn’t I be? Doesn’t it take you weeks to digest a big meal?”
“No, just a few hours,” she said, putting a finger to her lips. Then she smiled. “Well have you had cooked food before? Or baked foods, like apple pie.”
“My friend shared some food with me; it was very different. But what do you mean by apple pie? He always ate apples raw, as did I.”
“If you like apples, you’ll probably love apple pie,” she said. “You slice the apples and put them in a crust with spices, sugar, and butter, then bake it until it’s soft and sweet. I like making foods like that, or roasted meat with apples, or apple cider. Since I am your wife, I could make you apple pie or other foods you might want to try. But you still have to get dressed so we can leave this room and so we can ask the kitchen staff about it.”
Different ways to eat apples and other good things? Was that worth dealing with clothes? He’d likely not find out unless he did put the clothes on first. Grumbling, he hung his head briefly, then asked, “You’re really not going to hit me again?”
“I won’t unless you’re being as bad as that fairy,” she said.
“All right, for you, I’ll try it.” He climbed back down the dresser and followed her instructions. The clothing still smelled, it wasn’t as tough as his old skins, and there were frilly bits that supposedly were fashionable but were just plain itchy. But when he went out among the festive merry-making in the castle, everyone said he looked like the most beautiful man in the world.
The former lindworm prince and his wife spent a month in the castle, getting to know his family, getting him used to being a human, and trying out all kinds of wonderful delicious food that didn’t drive him mad. At the end of that time, his father offered to make him the heir to the throne, in honor of his being the elder son. But he refused, not comfortable with leading people when he used to eat them. Instead, he and his wife moved back in with her elderly father, to take care of him and the sheep. The former lindworm prince adjusted well away from the crowds, his life made easier once he could purchase his own clothes and make sure they didn’t smell. And his wife kept her word, not hitting him unless he was bad. The apple pie was as wonderful as she’d described and she would make one for him at least once a month.
It was a good life.