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Edward smacked his hand away for the third time.
“Do not. ”
Unfortunately, his warnings did little to deter Oswald, whose fingers were soon sneaking back towards the plate of cookies.
“Oswald, you know you can’t eat those. They’re poisoned. They literally just killed a man in the other room.”
“Yes, I know. Quite rude of him. I was really enjoying dinner.”
“We can get something else on the way home, but right now I’m trying to determine exactly what kind of poison it was. Something about the purple spots on his neck looked familiar.”
“Which reminds me, why do you have a microscope hidden in the kitchen of my club?”
“A necessary precaution with you, dear.”
Ed turned back to his research, increasing the magnification with one hand as he swirled a test tube of green liquid with the other. Oswald heaved a deep sigh, resuming his earlier pacing back and forth through the kitchen of the Iceberg Lounge. When he got bored of pacing, he started looking through the shelves, making the glass bottles clink together. Ed tried to tune him out until he heard a particularly loud crunch. He spun on his stool, finding Oswald up to his elbow in a jar full of peanuts.
He sighed, shaking his head.
“Why? ”
“I told you, Eddie. I’m hungry.”
“There’s cookie dough in the freezer. Make sure it’s unopened and find a spoon.”
He didn’t even have to look back to realize what Oswald would do next.
“And a baking sheet.”
Oswald set the spoon back down with a clatter. Once everything had been spread out over the counter, Edward finally put the samples away. He demonstrated how to use two spoons to get the perfect little blob of dough out onto the tray, and was about to go get more spoons for himself when Oswald battered his hands away.
“Go back to your samples, I can handle this... Wait—“
He fussed with the gold band around his finger, working it off into the palm of Edward’s waiting hand. Ed couldn’t help but smile— he was always so concerned about losing it. With the ring tucked safely in Edward’s chest pocket, he busied himself with the dough while Ed went back to the microscope. It was becoming increasingly clear that this poison was the device of one of Gotham’s other villains. It looked to be biological in origin, so naturally Ivy was at the top of his suspect list. However, with a growing number of copycats co-opting her eco-friendly techniques, they’d have to ask her first before assuming the worst. The Iceberg was meant to be upscale after all– meaning it had less blood in the carpets compared to Gotham’s usual meeting spots.
Ed was dragged from his thoughts by the chocolate chip cookie wiggling around in front of his face.
“Take a break, Eddie. I’m sure you’ve got it mostly figured out by now.”
He took the cookie gratefully, pushing the microscope back out of the way. The chocolate was still soft and melty on his tongue, warming him from the inside out. He let out an appreciative moan, making Oswald smile behind his hand. They sat in peaceful silence as they ate, mouths full and hearts content. Ed tapped out after four, letting Oswald finish off the rest of the tray. As he moved to put the microscope back in its cubby, he let Oswald in on his findings.
“I poison without breaking skin, each child knows the shape I’m in. Always climbing without feet, you know me by the sign of three.”
“Ivy? This is her doing?”
“If it isn’t, then she can point us in the right direction.”
“I’ll look into it first thing. But for now, let’s just go home.”
“Agreed.”
As they were walking out the door, Ed felt fingertips pressing into his waist.
“Can we get Sushi on the way?”