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This is it.
It’s now or never.
Sure, maybe the middle of the airport isn’t the best location, but fuck it. No. Yuri’s waited too long to do this. Has tried to do this time and time again. Whenever they cross paths at a competition. During their weekly video calls. Every hour of every day as they text back and forth endlessly, discussing anything and everything from what they had for breakfast to the socio-economic repercussions of denying the world a living wage.
With anyone else, it’s like the lights are on, but no one’s home. That, or Yuri doesn’t give a shit unless they’re sending him cat memes. But with Otabek—there’s depth, meaning, value!
Feelings.
Which is exactly why Yuri’s been trying to work up the courage to confess for over a year. But every damn time he’s committed to finally going through with it, something would go wrong.
No, he’s not avoiding it! Absolutely not. Something he reminds himself of again as he shifts from one foot to the other, eyes glued to the door Otabek will walk through at any moment. It’s not his fault the universe has it out for him, though. A random power outage here, an ‘entirely necessary’ meeting with Yakov there, a failed to send text followed by Potya demanding his full attention. And every little interruption is like the cracking whip of a tamer, forcing the roaring lion back into its cage, reduced once again to nothing more than a mewling kitten.
But not this time.
Otabek’s coming to Russia while they’re on break. He’ll be staying for two weeks. So come hell or high water, Yuri Plisetsky will confess his love to his best friend right here, right now. Because if it goes badly … well, he’d rather do it where Otabek can turn around and hop right back on a plane to Kazakhstan.
What even would be the point of trying to suffer through a whole vacation together with rejection and pity weighing them down?
The crawling seconds and rushing bodies make his heart jump and his breath hitch every time someone else steps through the damn doors. He’s trapped in an endless loop of torment, too stubborn to escape, even though the exit is right behind him. And after waiting for what seems like an eternity, when Otabek does finally cross the threshold, Yuri almost doesn’t believe it.
Until his best friend’s gaze meets his.
Otabek smiles, and ugh, it melts Yura’s heart because it’s just for him. Always for him. Or at least, that’s the truth he chooses to hold on to. That he makes that man smile, that he brings Otabek happiness. That, of all the people in the world, Yuri is responsible for the way his friend’s eyes light up every time they see each other, even when they’re merely coloured pixels on a screen. But now there’s no distance, no monitor, no phone. Nothing’s standing in their way, and the tugging in his gut as though someone’s pulling his strings is almost enough to make Yuri launch himself forward. To throw himself into Otabek’s arms and let sleeping dogs lie.
Almost.
Instead, Yuri scoops his oozing heart off the tiled floor and locks it in the furnace of his determination. To harden it, strengthen it. Then, hands curled into tight fists, he sucks in a breath and storms forward, not stopping until he’s directly in front of his best friend, ignoring the hesitant confusion stamped across Otabek’s face.
This is it.
“Yu—”
“No!” he snaps. “Shut up. I have something to say, and you’re going to listen to every damn word!”
Otabek blinks. Frowns. Glances around. “Ah, okay. Is everyth—”
“No, nothing’s okay! Hasn’t been for a long time. And I’ll fucking tell you why!” Otabek’s parted lips press closed, and it’s so damn tempting to reach forward and brush the creases wrinkling his forehead. But Yuri can’t back down now. Not until he knows where they stand once the truth is out. Once the one-sided lie of their friendship is revealed. So he barrels on, barely drawing breath as the words tumble out of his mouth. “Ever since Barcelona, when you drove on into my life all strapping leather and roaring engines, everything’s changed! And I tried! I tried to not let this happen! But you’ve just kept being there again and again, no matter what I’ve said or done. You’ve never turned away from me, never stopped supporting me—”
“Isn’t that a good thing, though?”
“Of course not! I mean, yes, but no!” Damn it! Otabek’s always been like this. So calm, it’s disarming. So collected, it makes Yuri feel like he’s spinning out of control. And maybe he is. Maybe he always has been. Because, come on, who just … lets themself fall in love with their best friend? But it’s too late now. The band-aid’s already halfway off—he has to keep going. “Because that’s just made everything harder! It would be so much easier if you were like everyone else and eventually got tired of my bullshit, but no! Instead, you have to be sweet and funny and talented and smart. You’re great with Potya and care about my grandpa, and God only knows how you made Lilia like you, too. But you did! And now I have no choice but to stand here like a damn moron, screaming at you, all because I don’t know the right way to tell you that I’m fucking in love with you!”
Well …
That isn’t quite how he’d planned to say it, but that’s certainly one way to do it.
Despite the airport being packed with people going about their own business, Yuri swears his voice echoes off the walls. Or maybe it’s just a trick of his ears, compensating for the silent stare from Otabek. But at least he’s not glaring or frowning, right?
… Oh God, but what if Yuri’s reading this all wrong? What if Otabek’s only quiet because he isn’t sure how to turn Yuri down without risking a bigger scene? Yuri’s chest tightens. Ice-cold terror pours down his back. He swallows, but there’s a lump lodged in his throat.
Heart pounding, he turns to bolt from the airport—but a hand clamps around his wrist.
“Wait.”
The footsteps and voices and wheels rolling across the tiles all around them flood back into focus as Yuri stands there, rooted in place. It’s deafening. Overwhelming. Trembles rock his body, and Yuri curses himself for doing this here, in public. They’re exposed, vulnerable. Anyone could be watching. The Angels are everywhere, and the last thing they need is their final moments together ending up all over the goddamn fan pages.
Otabek doesn’t deserve that.
“Why?” Yuri hisses, refusing to look over his shoulder but also not shaking his best friend off. How can he? This is it. This really is the end for them. The last time Otabek will ever touch him, speak with him. But maybe it’s for the best. He’s finally driven Otabek away, and now Yuri can bury his feelings in hell where they belong. Because he’s done it. He tore off the band-aid and found their friendship split open anew, a festering wound leaking pus and pain, never to heal again.
Until Otabek chuckles.
Yuri whips his head around, eyes wide. But sure enough, there’s a bit of a smile on those lips. Wait, what?! He stares, momentarily stunned, then clings to the last remnants of his dignity and courage. “What’s so damn funny?”
“I know.”
“I … you … what?”
Another soft laugh, then Otabek releases him. Yuri doesn’t try to run this time, though. He can’t. He’s anchored in place by the strangely joyful expression dancing across his friend’s face. What the fuck? “I already know.”
“Know what?”
“That you love me.”
Those words repeated back to him, but not in the way he wants to hear them … Yuri’s cheeks burn and he turns away, arms crossed. “Sure, as a friend, but that’s not … I don’t mean it like that. I mean, I do! But that’s not—”
“Yura.” Otabek steps closer, rests a hand on his shoulder. Yuri tenses but doesn’t pull away. In fact, every cell in his body is pleading to do the opposite. To finally land in the arms of the man he loves, but he can’t. Not yet. Not until he hears what Otabek has to say. Because he’s still here. He hasn’t turned away yet, hasn’t outright rejected him. Yuri tentatively lifts his gaze, lip pinched between his teeth, but Otabek’s somehow still smiling. “I’ve been paying attention to you since I was thirteen. Been invested in you every minute of every day since I … what did you say, ‘drove into your life all strapping leather and—’”
“Shut. Up.” But now Yuri’s smiling a little too, despite his face blazing even more. And maybe it’s another trick of his senses, but Otabek’s eyes seem to glimmer, as though they’re grinning uncontrollably so his lips don’t have to.
“My point is,” he presses on, his hand sliding down Yuri’s arm until Otabek’s fingers meet his, “did you really think after all this time, after getting to know you so well, I wouldn’t have suspected how you feel about me?”
What? Yuri stares at their hands, at the fingers entwining with his own. He should be thrilled, should be happy beyond measure that despite his sins against their friendship, Otabek’s still here. But his smile fades. His muscles coil, his gut clenches, and a chill trickles down his spine. “Then why the fuck didn’t you ever say anything?”
“I—”
“No, Beka!” He rips his hand back. “Do you think this is just … some little schoolyard crush or something? Do you even know what I’ve been through? How many times I’ve tried to tell you? How hard it’s been to look you in the eyes every week, to text you, to share a damn room with you at competitions with this secret weighing me down? And now what? I just get a pat on the back for being ‘so brave’ and that’s that? No!” he snaps when Otabek opens his mouth. “We can’t just … carry on like this never happened! I can’t! So one way or another, something has to change!”
A second of silence. Two. Three. By the fifth, Yuri’s shifting from one foot to the other, about to burst, when Otabek finally says, “Okay.”
Okay.
Okay? What the fuck does that mean?
“S-so …”
“So.”
“Okay?”
“Okay.”
Yuri swallows. “… I guess … this is it, then.”
Otabek puts his hands in his pockets and nods. “I guess so, yeah.”
Great. Cool. Yuri bites his lip again, trying to hold back the emotions attempting to crush him. It shouldn’t hurt this much; this is what he expected. But maybe, just for a moment, when Otabek held his hand, Yuri allowed a seed of hope to be planted in the fractured pieces of his heart. He should have known it would never be watered, though. Would never breach the surface and find the sun.
He nods in return. And twists away—
“I love you, too.”
Fucking what?!
For the second time, Yuri whirls around and stares at his best friend as if the entire world has shifted beneath his feet. Because in a way, it has. The emotional whiplash he’s endured since Otabek stepped off the plane deserves nothing short of a sound slap across the face. But Yuri’s weak for him. And all it takes is one more smile for Yuri to finally throw himself into Otabek’s arms.
The patrons around them blur as tears pour down Yuri’s face. His legs give out, but strong arms hold him upright. He barely manages to hiss, “I hate you,” when Otabek asks if that’s change enough for him.
He might not have slapped him, but there’s a trail of snot decorating Otabek’s shoulder now.
“I’m sorry, Yura. I should have said something sooner.”
“Damn straight!” Otabek’s huff of amusement tickles Yuri’s ear. “So why didn’t you?”
“I didn’t want to assume until I could be completely sure, and not before you’d fully figured it out for yourself.”
“So what?” Yuri pulls back and wipes his eyes on the sleeve of his hoodie. “If I’d never said anything—”
Otabek sighs, and this time, he’s the one to look away. “Okay, I admit, maybe it wasn’t the wisest plan.”
“You think?” Yuri deadpans, then shakes his head. “Fuck, Beka. You’re really smart, but sometimes you can be so damn stupid.”
That brings a smile back to both of their faces as all the tension, all the stress and doubt and worry melt away. But it’s over now. The truth is out, and they’re both still here. For the first time since Otabek announced his plans to spend their vacation together in Russia, excitement and anticipation for the next two weeks bloom in Yuri’s chest.
There’s still so much to be said. So many questions that need answers. Are they dating now? How long has Otabek suspected? How long has he been hiding his own feelings from Yuri? Did it eat him up inside too? And just how far is Yuri willing to go to get justice for everything Otabek just put him through? But for now, all Yuri wants is to go back home with his best friend at his side, riding on a high that makes winning gold pale in comparison.
Because this is it.
The start of something entirely new, yet utterly familiar.