Work Text:
BOOM! An explosion rocked the building which on the outside said "Totally not a villain's secret lair." in bright neon lights. A bright light proceeded to engulf the area, and suddenly, everything was back to normal.
"We did it Max! We saved the world from becoming lunch!" Sam said through the dust.
"I love being flung at high velocity Sam!" Max said.
"Oh, you crack me up little buddy!" Sam said as the dust settled, and he noticed there was something off. A human was standing where Max was just a minute ago.
"Max?" Sam said as the human turned to Sam. Sam noticed that the human had razor-sharp teeth just like his husband did. It was Max.
"Sam, why are you a human?" Max said. Sam looked down at his hands, and noticed they were human hands as well.
"Holy mass of church goers in the Vatican on Halloween Eve! We're humans!" Sam said.
"Yeah!" Max said.
"I guess when that machine exploded, we were turned into humans as well!" Sam said.
"Well what do we do Sam?" Max said.
"Well, we can always do the thing we always do, call Geek, she'll know what to do!" Sam said as he whipped out his phone, and started dialing Geek's number. Sam put the phone to where his ear usually would have been, before quickly adjusting it so it was on where his now-human ear was.
"Hello?" Geek's voice called out from the phone.
"Hey Geek!" Sam said.
"Hey Dad, how's your latest case doing?" Geek said.
"Well actually, we're done it! But there's a bit of a problem..." Sam said.
"Is Pop okay?!" Geek said in a nervous tone.
"I'm as fine as usual! I feel like mauling some thugs!" Max said in the background of the call.
"Well that's good to hear." Geek said.
"Anyways, we need you to come over now." Sam said.
"Alright, where are you?" Geek said.
"We're at that building that says "Totally not a villain's secret lair.", the one by the Wendy's!" Sam said.
"Oh yeah, I know that one. I'll be there in a sec." Geek said as she hung up.
"I wonder how our daughter's going to take seeing us as humans?" Max said.
"Ah, don't worry Sam, I mean Max! Geek's seen some crazy stuff over the years since we adopted her! She'll be fine!" Sam said. All of a sudden, Geek popped out of nowhere.
"I'm here! What's the problem?" Geek said.
"Well..." Sam said as Geek turned around to see her fathers were humans.
"Hey Geek!" Max said.
"Oh, you're human now. Okay, why are you two humans?" Geek said.
"Well, we were stopping this mad scientist who wanted to take over the world though turning everyone into animals!" Sam said.
"Might I add, a total Hugh Bliss move!" Max said.
"Yeah. Anyways, we destroyed the machine he was using, and it turned us into humans!" Sam said.
"Well that seems like a problem. Let me go take a look at the machine, maybe I can fix it." Geek said as she went over to the broken scrap heap that was the machine that turned Sam and Max into humans.
"Well?" Sam said.
"It's an easy fix, I get it taken back to the lab, and I can get it done in a few hours or so. What are you going to do?" Geek said.
"Head back to the office." Sam said.
"Yeah, and maybe stop a few petty crimes on the way!" Max said.
"Well Pop, maybe YOU COULD ACTUALLY WEAR SOME CLOTHES!" Geek said.
"What?!" Max said, looking down to see he was indeed naked, luckily, his lower body was covered by some debris that had fallen near Max before they had turned human.
"You're naked! I don't want to see your dick waving around, and I'm sure the public won't either! You go outside this building like that, you'll get arrested for streaking!" Geek said.
"But I never wear clothes, you know that!" Max said.
"Yeah, but you're usually a Lagomorph, which means your privates aren't showing! But now, you can't hide that!" Geek said.
"Fine. What am I supposed to wear then? We don't have any spare clothes!" Max said.
"One sec." Geek said as she pressed a device on her belt, and vanished. A minute later, she came back with some stuff.
"Alright, here's some clothing I own. It's a white t-shirt and some jeans, put it on Pop." Geek said as she tossed the clothing to Max. Max caught it.
"How did you do that?" Sam said.
"Teleporter I invented." Geek said.
"Of course." Sam said as Max put on the clothes.
"There, now I won't get arrested, happy?" Max said.
"Yep." Geek said.
"Now what?" Sam said.
"I'll teleport the stuff back to the lab and call you when it's ready. You two can go on, and do whatever you want too." Geek said.
"Well little buddy, I think we should head back to the office." Sam said.
"Sure thing Sam!" Max said as the two left the building, and went to the DeSoto. Sam started the ignition key, and the two headed back to the office. After Sam got in touch with the Commissioner and filled the paperwork, the two could do whatever they wanted to.
"Well, now what little buddy?" Sam said.
"Let's go to Stinky's!" Max said.
"Sure thing!" Sam said as he and Max left the building, and the two of them went to Stinky's Diner. Girl Stinky was there, as usual.
"What can I get for you two?" Girl Stinky said.
"Just some burgers." Sam said.
"Alright." Girl Stinky said as she went to the kitchen.
"Hey Max?" Sam said as he and Max sat in their booth.
"Yeah Sam?" Max said.
"I was wondering, because we're humans, doesn't that mean we won't be immune to Stinky's cooking anymore?" Sam said.
"Oh, you're just imagining things Sam! And look, there's our grub!" Max said as Girl Stinky served them.
"What could possibly go wrong?" Max said. Sam realized he was right, and the two proceeded to take a bite out of their burgers. Awhile later, they were in the alleyway behind Stinky's puking their guts out.
"MY INSIDES FEEL LIKE THEY'RE ON FIRE!" Max said.
"SAME HERE LITTLE BU-" Sam got out before he proceeded to vomit again.
"WHY DID WE EVEN GO HERE?!" Max said.
"BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO!" Sam said. The two kept throwing up, until finally, it stopped.
"I think it's over..." Sam said. All of a sudden, Sam's phone rang. Sam looked at his cell, and saw that it was Geek. He picked it up.
"Hello?" Sam said.
"I got it working! C'mon home, and I can turn you two back!" Geek said as she hung up.
"What was that?" Max said.
"It was Geek, she got the machine working!" Sam said.
"Awesome, let's get home!" Max said as they went to the DeSoto, and got home. After that, they went to the basement, and saw Geek in front of the machine.
"Ah, you're here. I ran some tests on this thing. All I have to do to return you two to being animals is to hit you with the beam." Geek said as she pointed the machine at them, and fired. A flash of light happened, and Sam looked down at his hands to notice they were back to his normal Irish Wolfhound ones.
"It worked! Thanks Geek!" Sam said as he saw Max getting out of the clothes Geek forced him to wear.
"Finally, out of these horrid clothes, NOW LET'S DESTROY THIS THING!" Max said as he pulled out a rocket launcher.
"Pop, wait!" Geek said. Max put the rocket launcher down.
"Destroying it the first time only led to it turning you into humans, so doing it again will only lead to the same thing." Geek said.
"Well if that's what happens, then what do we do with this?" Max said.
"Simple." Geek said as she plugged in a USB drive.
"This is a computer virus, it should destroy the electronics in the device." Geek said as that happened.
"Well I guess we won't be dealing with that anymore!" Sam said.
"Now what should we do?" Max said.
"Dad, there's a Hannah Montana marathon on now." Geek said. Sam's eyes lit up once he heard that.
"C'MON MAX, LET'S GO WATCH THAT!" Sam said as he dragged Max upstairs. Geek sighed.
"Never a boring day with those two around..." Geek said as she followed her parents.