Work Text:
"Did you get the carrot? Can't have a snow woman without a carrot." I'm trying unsuccessfully to roll up the lower part of the body while also holding the baby.
"Ok, but JJ isn't even aware of things like that yet." Quinn isn't exactly helping, more like just standing there watching me.
"But we are Quinn. We are making our first snow woman." I look down at our cute little baby. "Aren't we?" I kiss the tip of his nose.
"Ok, stop calling it a snow woman."
"But it is. I don't believe in pushing stereotypical...."
"Ok I'm going to stop you right there."
"That was rude."
"Should he even be out here Rach?"
"Look how cute he is all bundled up." I hold him up for Quinn to see, even though she was the one who got him dressed. "Plus it's all part of his 18 year life plan"
"Wait, his what?"
"Yes, it's vital JJ experience certain things in life to be a well rounded individual."
"You can't plan out our child's future like that Rachel. I mean that's crazy, come on."
"No, I feel it's quite important actually."
"You have a binder don't you?" Quinn starts inching her way to the porch.
"What? No. That's crazy...no." She cannot find that binder.
"Hey, I think JJ needs another hat, I'm just gonna go…" Quinn takes off in a run into the house.
"It's just me and you little man. Trying to make this snow woman. I think it might be microscopic because your mommy won't help." JJ just looks at me. "A lot of help you are Mr." He starts giggling.
"Hey!" Quinn comes back out after what seems like forever. "We are not naming one of our kids Barbara. And why do you have plans for 5 kids? We didn't even talk about that."
"Well I have a PowerPoint presentation that I think will convince you that the name Barbara is a good idea. It's pretty compelling if I do say so myself." Quinn gives me a look between exasperation and constipation before turning around and going back in the house.
"Well JJ, we made a ball of snow. If we put a carrot on it I think it would be highly inappropriate. Though some of the neighbor kids might find it amusing." JJ babbles.
"Rachel!" Quinn comes stomping out onto the porch. "It's somewhat disturbing the amount of PowerPoint presentations you have on your computer. Some of the topics I don't think I really need convincing on though."
"Like what?" Quinn's eyes flick back and forth from me and the baby.
"The things that are.." She looks around then lowers her voice to a whisper. "The bedroom things."
"Oooh. Well I wasn't sure, especially the whip…"
"Stop! Stop, stop, stop, stop." Quinn's waving her arms at me and I'm trying not to grin.
"I like to be prepared for all eventualities, you know that Quinn. It's why you love me." She starts walking towards us.
"No, I love you because you have an awesome body." She winks suggestively.
"Yes well, you cannot touch this 'awesome body' until you help me and JJ here."
"Ugh, fine." Quinn grins as she starts rolling up snow into a ball.
"Look JJ, mommy's making a snow person." JJ babbles his agreement.
"I thought it was a snow woman?" Quinn grunts.
"Snow person is more inclusive."
"Of course it is." Quinn starts rolling up the middle section of the body.
"Don't hurt yourself." I watch as she lifts the second large ball of snow up onto the first.
"Well if I had help..."
"I can't abandon the baby, he's only one."
"Who said anything about abandoning our child Rachel?" She always says my whole name like that when she's irritated.
"It was implied." Quinn starts waving her arms around, mouth opening and closing as if she's trying to speak but can't.
"You're lucky you're holding our child right now." She finally says, glaring at me.
"I want to see if JJ can make a snow angel."
"He doesn't need to be in the snow Rach."
"It's ok, it's not like he isn't properly layered."
"Ok, let me get my camera out." Quinn pulls her tiny digital camera out of her pocket. I lay JJ down carefully on the snow and we watch as he squeals delightfully, wiggling around. Quinn is snapping pictures left and right. After just a couple of minutes I pick him up so we can see what kind of impression he made.
"It kind of looks like an angel." It doesn't, but he's my baby, I have to be nice.
"It looks like a manic butterfly. " Quinn says as she keeps snapping pictures.
"Ok, now you need to make a baby snow person."
"Why am I doing all the work?" Quinn narrows her eyes at me even as she bends over to start making a baby ball of snow.
"Because I'm holding the baby."
"Well I can hold him."
"........no."
"Ok I was expecting a dissertation on why you needed to hold him and now I'm kinda disappointed." Quinn goes back to making baby snow person as I bounce JJ on my hip. He's giggling like crazy which is making me giggle. Quinn stands up, wiping here hands on her pants. "It's a masterpiece."
"It's lopsided."
"He's about to do a cartwheel." I raise my eyebrow at the obvious lie.
"Ok, just one more and we're done."
"What?" Quinn whines.
"The snow family has to be complete. Right JJ?" He wiggles. "See?"
"I don't take that as an affirmation. He was probably pooping."
"That's not his pooping face."
"Fiiine." With much complaining, Quinn makes another snow person.
"I hope that's not supposed to be me?" I point at her most recent creation.
"Now, why would you think that?"
"It's smaller. And why does it have a bigger carrot nose? Are you making fun of my nose?"
"That was the last carrot, don't be dramatic." Quinn snaps her mouth shut.
"What did you just say to me?"
"I said I love you. Soooooooooo much." I glare at her. I'm trying to decide if I should forgive her or lock her outside.
""I'm currently contemplating homicide by hypothermia, but JJ just pooped so you can change his diaper."
"I'll take the death by hypothermia, thank you."
"Nope." I hand JJ off. "All yours." Smiling sweetly I walk into the house with a grumbling Quinn behind me. "Hey, if you're lucky, you can apologize by doing PowerPoint 52."
"Wait, what's 52? I'm not sure I should agree to that."
"Trust me, you do." Quinn makes a strangled noise and I can't help but laugh.