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Sam sat quietly in the dimly lit room and stared at the piece of paper in his hands. He sighed and pulled out the box covered in festive little Christmas doodles, and began to fill it with some colorful shredded paper.
It had been a bad day.
A stressful case. A big loss. And two small children that would now be spending Christmas without their mother because they got there too late. A long silent car ride home. A festered wound now reopened in more ways than one.
“Why didn’t we celebrate Christmas with her when we had her back?” Dean mumbled angrily as he stomped off to attempt to shower the anger and frustration away.
Of course, Dean blamed himself and only himself, because that’s just what Dean did. He should have found the case earlier. Identified the monster sooner. Drove to the location faster. Saved that innocent woman’s life, and those innocent childrens’ childhood.
They all knew the sting of spending the holidays without their mothers. Except Cas, but not ever having a mother surely was just as sad. Sam picked up the pen and tapped it on the desk as he tried to think of something to write.
After a long moment of drawing blanks, he pushed himself back from the desk and walked over to his bed. He gently lowered himself onto the mattress so as to not wake Eileen, and laid back. Why did something have to come and throw a wrench in the first happy Christmas they have had in… ever?
Last Christmas Jack was gone, and Cas was with him, fixing Heaven. Which had Dean, who had only just poured his heart and soul out to the Angel, locked in his room listening to Blue Christmas on repeat.
Before that, they didn’t celebrate holidays much. They had the little makeshift Christmas with Mrs. Butters, but sometimes they would forget about the day all together.
Dean was really going all out this year with trying to make everything special and Christmas-y. Sam could barely remember the last time Dean had put this much effort into the holiday. He was bending to Jack’s every whim. Being disgustingly affectionate with Cas. He was happy. Something he rarely, genuinely was. And now he wasn’t.
Sam sighed. He covered his head with an arm and contemplated just going to sleep for the night.
THUD! “Ouch!”
Sam sat up, glancing over to see if the noise woke Eileen. It hadn’t. He gently lifted himself off the bed and creeped out of the room.
Jack was hunched over trying to pick up all the cookies that had scattered from his tumble. “Midnight snack?” Sam laughed.
“Oh. Sam. I… don’t tell Cas!” Jack said softly.
“Your secret is safe with me.”
Jack finished cleaning his mess and tossed the unsalvageable cookies in the trash can. “Thanks!” He grinned up at Sam and continued on his path to his room. “Oh, and Sam…”
“Hmm?”
“Congratulations.” Sam smiled and gave his little approval nod. “And if it helps ease your mind. I think it’s a very appropriate choice, and would be a great honor to Dean.”
Sam laughed and narrowed his eyes at Jack. “Thought you weren’t using your God powers for meddling?”
“I didn’t meddle.” Jack scoffed. “Eileen told me. She said if she had to keep it to herself for one more day she would explode. She also said if I told anyone, she would take back my Christmas present… so please don’t tell her I told you?”
“I won’t, Jack.” Sam laughed at the pure innocence of the universe's new god. “And thank you. I think he’ll like it, too.”
After Jack disappeared into his room Sam slipped back into his own. Sitting down at the desk he lifted the pen with more confidence and scribbled the simple yet deeply meaningful note onto the tag. He placed the fuzzy black and white ultrasound picture on top of the bed of shredded paper, and put the lid on. Then he attached a bow and finally the tag.
To Dean
From Dean