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It is early morning when he wakes. When early morning light streams through the linen of his closed curtains. Slowly he plies his eye open and is disappointed at how much light filters past them.
It seeps through. Casting soft light onto his desk. Reflecting off the well used candles and catches on the dried ink on his reports. Reminding him of his late night.
But they are done. And despite having worked into the early morning, he is now awake at the same time as always. He’d roll back to sleep except its that day so he’ll be sure to have anything but sweet dreams if he tries.
So much for sleeping in. He sighs as he reluctantly rises, despite feeling tired down to his bones and the bags beneath his eyes threatening to bring him back to sleep. Bracing as the cold air seeps through his well worn cotton nightshirt. He is quick to change into something a little warmer for the colder air outside. Wool-lined slacks and button up wool shirt complete his ensemble, and just because he can, he keeps the top collar unbuttoned because he’s cheeky and no amount of cold weather can stop that.
He opens his blinds, letting the early morning sunlight flood his room.
He fixates on the shades of early morning catching on the buildings outside. Surely having caught first the Cathedral and the statue of the anemo god first as it does every morning. A reminder, he supposes, for the people that the anemo god is ever with Mondstadt as it lights with the morning sun.
He is reminded of a certain bard drinking his days away at any tavern that will serve him and grimaces.
Well, he was always taught the gods were just as fallible as humans.
He almost grabs his captain's uniform lapels when, once again, he is reminded that I have the day off today.
Jean had insisted after all. That he was to do no work today. Despite how busy they are everyday.
It's why he burned the midnight oil getting all his reports done last night after all. If he worked a couple hours past midnight that is no one’s business but his own.
She had specified that since it would be his birthday, he would not be coming to work. He had tried to insist he was perfectly fine with coming in the work, only to have her insist that if he came in on this specific day she would send him back home on ‘medical leave’ instead. The added motion of her casually cracking her knuckles had been persuasive enough.
Birthdays are supposed to be important apparently.
So here he was. Awake as normal. Perhaps a little more productive last night than normal (instead of visiting a certain bar), and now stuck considering what he should even do with his day.
Too early to drink, and way too early for anyone to really be up besides him, Jean, and those preparing to open their business for the day.
He supposes breakfast would be a good start. Birthday breakfasts are supposed to be nicer than normal.
Going down to his small kitchen, he opens his cupboards to find… the only food he usually has everyday for breakfast. Which isn’t really surprising, seeing as he doesn’t have much time to cook anyways, and with a small kitchen, he doesn’t have a lot to work with. An average sized ice box, a stove/oven combo, sink, and about two feet of counter space really limits what he can do.
He throws together some toast and eggs and supposes that’s the best he’ll get. If he takes a little more time to season the eggs and cut up some veggies to put on his toast and in his eggs, that is no one else's business but his.
Moving over to his table, he carefully sets his plate beside another stack of papers half-hazardly strewn across his table. Leads, reports, and books scattered across his table, spilling to stacks of papers on his extra chairs and onto the corkboard on his wall.
Damn, he had so much work to do.
Before he knows it he is reading through the reports sent to him by Eula’s teams as he eats. Soon enough he is standing up to place pins in his map of Mondstadt of where the new Hilichurl camps were found and taking off pins where the camps had been successfully demolished. Frowning when he realizes there are more pins still on the board than the last time he updated it.
He really should get these reports to Jean…
Her cracking knuckles echo ominously in his brain and he sets them back down on the table.
Instead, he picks up his plate and quickly consumes the rest of his now cold eggs.
He dumps his plate into the sink with the rest of his unwashed plates. Noting he really should wash them, but part of him wilts at the prospect and decides they can be done later. A little ‘gift’ to himself.
Haha.
...Its not actually funny.
He decides he’s had enough time to himself.
Walking outside, he is ecstatic to find his neighbor, a kind older woman, cleaning her windows. She had always been an early riser due to her previous status as a baker’s assistant. As she aged, all the heavy lifting she did started to show as her back deteriorated.
It's easy to slip into his mask. Comforting. Distracting.
“Good morning Belina! How are you this fine morning? Hopefully your back didn’t bother you too much last night?”
He considers Belina a good, quiet neighbor. Elderly. Living with a husband he’s never seen. Supposedly nearing his deathbed, and with her children long gone with their own families. She appreciates any help she receives.
“Oh, good morning Kaeya. Nothing worse than usual at least. It was a little warmer today so I thought I’d wash the windows. Winter will set in any day now, so I’m trying to get the house ready.” She warbles. A small pot of water sits beside her, mostly likely all she could carry out.
“My, you can’t tell me you expected to do this work yourself, did you? As a Knight of Favonius Captain, I couldn’t possibly let you tackle this by yourself.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t think to take up your time, Captain. I know how busy you are.”
“Its no issue at all! I think your back will thank me later. Though, if you really would like to make it up to me, the sweet flower tea you make is quite divine. Something to warm for after I finish these windows, no?”
Belina beams back at him, “You’re such a sweetheart Kaeya. I’ll go get that tea ready while you wash the windows. Just come on in after you finish, ok?”
“My pleasure.” Kaeya smiles as Belina closes the door to her house behind her, leaving only the pot of water and towel behind.
It proves a short lived distraction. As she disappears he is again left with his thoughts as he cleans.
Of times where sweet flower tea was served freely. Or any type of beverage really. Perhaps during lunch time break or after a long day of lessons and play. Sunny days with a boy who had shone with an equal fire in his eyes.
He is quick to finish the windows after that. With thoughts of better days drowning him.
The sweet flower tea leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. He is quick to gulp it down and leave. Smile back on his face and a charming enough excuse of work that leaves old Belina smiling.
It falls as soon as the door closes behind him.
Checking the sun's position, he finds it still too early for the bars to open up. The morning dew still frozen across the cobbled streets as the bitter chill in the wind leaves him knowing winter is just upon them.
Alcohol hadn’t proven a good distraction last year anyways. Neither Charles nor Diluc would probably let him get away with it again either. He’d shown up just as the bar opened, already partially under, and had bought two bottles to drown himself with up on the second floor. Out of sight of anyone but him and his thoughts. Rosaria had been the one to find him hours later. Passed out and incoherent at best. One entire bottle consumed while the other lay open and spilled onto the floor. He doesn’t remember well, but he’s pretty sure she’s the reason he got home.
Didn’t stop him from drinking his own stash once he got home.
…The hangover the next morning had reminded him why he never drank to access. Jean also hadn’t been too particularly pleased when he showed up to work anyways with a migraine and a green-tinged face.
It hadn’t been a good distraction, so passing the day away black out drunk didn’t seem that appealing.
Sighing, he decides to take a stroll.
He meanders his way through Mondstadt. Putting a smile on his face when others call out to him. Usually he is in the mood to regale them, but perhaps the expression on his face puts them off enough because they keep it to short good mornings and hellos.
Today is one of those days that reminds him of a lot things he isn’t ready to deal with.
Like how today isn’t actually his birth day. The concept of ‘days’ had long since lost meaning in Khaenri’ah by the time he was born. Born into the ashes of a war torn country deep beneath the ground. They had been too worried about survival to ever think of something like celebrations.
No. His birthday had been the Ragnvindr’s idea. A day to celebrate him joining their family. To celebrate another year and remind Kaeya that while he may no longer have his original family, have the day as a reminder he will always be a part of theirs.
Then Crepus died and Kaeya had to open his stupid mouth to Diluc and now he once again had no family.
It left a gaping hole that others had attempted to fill, but had never succeeded. He got tired of their sympathy so simply decided to hide it away. Life always seemed a little sunnier when he received their smiles instead of their sympathies.
Not that he ever plans to reveal his past the way he did with Diluc to anyone. He’ll die with it if he must. To keep what he has with him.
It is a flutter against his cheek that finally draws him out of his thoughts.
An anemo crystal fly. Tiny little creatures not technically considered sentient. Drawn only to life by the ambient anemo energy in the air to follow the energy flow. At his touch, the anemo energy disperses, leaving only the empty crystal core behind.
He feels another brush his hair, which finally makes him look up enough to realize that there are a surprising number of these little things. They hang above him, around him, and leave anemo dust glittering across his hair, shoulders, and arms. He quickly snatches the little annoyances out of the air and pockets the cores. He may not need them, but he knows a certain traveler who will be ecstatic to receive them.
It is also in this moment he realizes where he has subconsciously walked to while deep in his little revelry. With the path leading directly to rows upon rows of grapevines. Though this time of year only the brown leaves, too stubborn to leave the vines, remain. They rattle ominously in empty fields. With field workers long having been dismissed for the winter season.
He watches as a pair of brothers run amok through a vineyard loaded down with grapes. Climb the nearby hill and play pretend epics of valor and bravery. Adelinde calling out to call them back in for meals, tea, or lessons. Fath- Master Crepus taking time out of his busy schedule to teach them everything he can about grape growing.
The breeze blows coldy by, rattling dead leaves, and he is brought back to the now desolate fields.
He ponders this, and can’t help but chuckle sadly at the realization that despite what happened, he still considers this place home.
Well. It was the most ‘home’ he ever had.
He walks along the northern edge, keeping just out of sight of the main house, and finds himself on the northern route back to Cider lake. A childhood of playing in these forests filling his mind.
They used to be such happy memories. Of two children glued to the hip. A father that took time to care about the small bruises and celebrate when something went well.
All it took was one stupid decision to tear it all down. Reminding him that a life built upon lies is just as flimsy as dead leaves sticking to grapevines. With one strong gust all it takes to rip that life away.
He spends the next couple of hours wandering Mondstadt. Mind wandering both to his past and his present. If he takes out a few Hilichurl camps along the way to vent his frustrations, that's between him and the anemo god, and since Venti is most likely gracing the nearest bar with his presence he isn’t even concerned.
It's early evening by the time he gets back, and he feels ready for a drink. Just enough to clear his thoughts.
Rosaria meets him by the road near Angel’s Share.
“Took you long enough. I expected you earlier than this.” She snips, slowly unfurling herself from the house she was leaning against.
“Is it really a bad thing if I held off for this long?” He quips back.
“No. Perhaps not.” And surely last year's incident is brought to the forefront of her mind, “But I think a celebratory drink or two wouldn’t hurt? Even if it's just to celebrate another year still here.”
“Yeah. I was just thinking it was about time anyways. So do we go Angel’s Share or risk the Cat Tail’s combos.”
Rosaria smirks, “While I love the surprise of Diona’s drinks, I think I’m craving something a little more…consistent this cold evening.”
And that really is the theme of his life, isn’t it. A thing he always wished he had, but now feels like something he’ll never have within his reach. Consistency. A fleeting ideal.
“Wine does have a way of warming me right up. Who do you think is serving tonight?”
Rosaria starts to head towards Angel’s Share as she speaks, “You’ll just have to find out, won’t you.”
“Such a cryptic answer. One might think you already know.”
Rosaria only smiles cryptically back at him.
Kaeya about lets loose the quip on his tongue, but as Rosaria opens the door, it dies and his eyes widen in surprise at-
“Happy Birthday Kaeya!” And finds Jean, Amber, and Eula standing by a table decked out with various birthday treats. A cake at the center of the arrangement. Diluc stands sullenly behind the bar, but when he notices Kaeya looking his way, his expression slips into something a little more light.
A part of him hates it really. All the fuss, especially if they really knew who he was they wouldn’t bother, but he smiles anyways. Forcing a smile on his face and hoping maybe he’ll start to feel as happy as he wishes he could be, “My, what a beautiful party. Angel’s Share all booked out for me…?” He wants to add a snarky quip but his voice seems to die on his lips.
Its not a lot of people, but each one of them having played an important role in his life.
Jean looks apologetically at him as she smiles, fully knowing he probably wouldn’t like the fuss. He had met Jean around the same time as Diluc. As they had all aimed to be knights, they had easily remained closed knit friends. She gave him the stability and calm he needed when his life fell apart. Taught him how to use and accept his vision. Remains his closest ally to this day.
“If you think I’d let you get away with not celebrating this day, you have another thing coming!” Amber says. Kaeya met Amber that day in the rain. He had hidden himself in the forest, despite being wounded and burned, wondering if he deserved to keep on living. She had come umbrella in hand and had refused to let him go until he accepted help. Had accompanied him to the cathedral and stayed with him until Jean arrived. Had even offered he could stay with her since her Grandpa had disappeared and left an empty room behind. He’d declined, but has appreciated her persistence with him back then.
Eula was someone he had found a kinship with when joining the knights. Being born foreign, it had taken all of the Ragnvindr influence to even get him into the knights. Eula had also been trying to join at the time, but kept getting rejected due to her connection with the Lawrence clan. He opened the door for her to get in. Became drinking buddies when discovering they both had a taste in good wine.
Rosaria has been a dear friend ever since they ran into each other one warm summer night. Both suspicious of the other, but once motives had been made clear, had been bosom buddies ever since. Accomplaces in collecting intel and dealing with darker threats to Mondstadt together. Going in for a drink together happened just as easily.
Diluc was the biggest surprise. Not that he wouldn’t be here, just that he would allow this gathering at all. He had barely tolerated Kaeya ever since he had returned from Mondstadt, and Kaeya can hardly believe he would allow the whole bar to be reserved just for him…
“Well, what do you think! Bet you didn’t expect this huh?” Amber breaks him out of his thoughts. Rosaria stares at him knowingly.
Jean puts her arm on his shoulder, “I know you don’t like having a party on your birthday for…various reasons, but I thought it would be nice for once to celebrate a little bit, so I invited some of your closest friends. Diluc was the one who insisted it happen here. Don’t tell him I said that to you though, I fear he may ban me from his bar.” Jean apologetically smiles.
“To think you’d let the day go by without even telling me it's your birthday. I will have my vengeance!” Eula speaks, and despite her words, a challenging smile plays on her lips while she holds up a glass of wine.
Even as he approaches the bar, Diluc is already pouring him a glass of wine. He spies the bottle after Diluc sets it down only to almost have his eyes bug out at the date, “A birthday present? For me?” And one of Father’s fine vintages too… “And here I thought you wouldn’t care.”
Kaeya spots the deliberation run through Diluc’s face, before he responds, “Of course I care.” He says and Kaeya watches as Diluc starts aggressively cleaning already clean glasses.
It both stings and warms something inside him. The way Diluc says it.
“Happy birthday, Kaeya.”
And if those words fill the yawning abyss in his soul just a little, that’s nobody's business but his.