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Peter’s creased old shoes that he hasn’t worn in decades brush wooden floor that are faint smudges of memories in the very back recesses of his mind and suddenly his perception of reality shatters into a million pieces and he’s fourteen years old and Narnia is another world, no longer his native land.
England already seems grey, there is only cloud obscured sunlight to light the room and it’s raining, a stark contrast to the shifting leaves and golden sunlight of his home.
Spare Oom
England is dreary when they return to their mother’s house and her strange embrace, but he tells himself that one day they will return home.
His lies are as golden as Narnia’s sunlight.
——
Peter finds his golden crown amidst the various treasures in his chest amongst the wreckage of Cair Paravel. His breath stutters through his lungs and he sets it back down, absently rubbing his thumb across it’s time-worn surface.
Later as he takes a moment to sit beneath the apple trees, he digs his fingers into the dirt and promises himself that he won’t leave again.
His lies are as golden as his once-crown.
——
Peter has his heart ripped out of his chest and handed back to him bloody and bruised as Aslan tells him that he will not return.
His golden hair shifts into his eyes and with something angry in his chest he pushes it out of his sight roughly.
Ignoring the burn in his throat, he presses his lips together and nods. Reminds himself that he still has his sister and his faith.
This time the lie is unintentional and half-true but it’s still as golden as his hair under the Narnian sun.
——
Peter loses his sister in a moment. She has always been wrought in gold, but now she’s tarnished. All she can do is care for herself, repair the hurts and scars and while her faith slips from her hands and shifts into something different, his settles against his skin, presses on the soles of his feet, holds him up. He does not begrudge his sister, does not cast her aside, but for her to care for herself, for Susan to survive she must leave him and he has lost her.
He lies to himself, repeats it over and over that he hates her, but it’s as golden as she.
——
Peter commands the ghost to answer him in all his golden majesty and clenches his jaw tight when it fades before his eyes.
He lies again, thinks, ‘ I am not Narnia’s king any longer.’ It’s golden.
——
When Peter dies he does not lie, he does not speak, he simply dies and it is only after he has closed the stable door and walked further up and further in that he lies.
He lies.
He lies.
He lies.
Susan will be fine without us.
Susan will not care.
——
Susan hears of the news of her family’s death and tells herself that she will not mourn, for they are at peace, no matter what comes after life. She tells herself that she will not grieve, she will celebrate their lives and then she will move one.
Her lies are as golden as her brother’s.
——
They lied.