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A simple day out a few days before Christmas, a trip to the shops. Despite having a Christmas-obsessed android by his side, Hank didn’t think he’d have anything to worry about on their trip. Especially in a clothes store, of all places. Perhaps Connor had dragged him out because he wanted to get another beanie, or more shirts for his wardrobe.
“I’ve almost got everything, Hank. Then we can go.”
Hank took the bait, nodding. Then they could go home. Good thing, his feet were killing him.
“It’s actually something for both of us that I need to get…”
His brows creased in concern as he was led to the far end of the store. Did he want to get a beanie for him too? Because they sure as hell didn’t suit him.
“Here. Which one do you think you want?”
He stopped in his tracks, looked up, and saw the Christmas sweaters clutched in Connor’s hands. Red and tacky with bells that probably made noise when you walked, or green with a Christmas tree that had pompom baubles stuck to it.
“I’m not wearing that!”
Connor groaned. “I knew you’d say that. Come on, Hank. Everyone wears Christmas sweaters this season. I thought they might be good for Christmas day…”
“I’m not wearing that.” Hank restated, before sighing, seeing the crestfallen look on Connor’s face. “Alright, alright. I’m… not wearing either of those two. I’ll wear a Christmas sweater: on one condition.”
“Of course.”
“We get to pick each others’.”
“Oh. I… don’t see the catch?”
“Nah, you don’t yet. So, agree?”
“Sure.”
As Connor skipped off to look through the racks of Christmas sweaters, he grinned. His plan was setting into motion. Find a Christmas sweater so tacky that even the Christmas-boy hated it.
Yet… what did that mean? Connor loved anything and everything Christmas. He obviously liked sweaters that had annoying ass bells on them, or bits that got stuck in the washing machine. Going for something ‘too festive’ wouldn’t work.
Hank shrugged, moving around the clothes rack. He’d have to look at everything they had, and find the worst one. One with a dog on it… pass. Reindeers… pass. Sprouts? He’d probably find the joke about healthy food funny. Pester him about it all the time. Pass.
He desperately flicked through the racks but it was becoming clear that Connor would love all of this shit. Thinking he might have to go back and grab the dog one just to pretend he was being nicey-nice, he stopped in his tracks. A sweater, partially hidden by the one with the bells on it.
He turned it to face him and gasped. It would be perfect.
“I’m not wearing that!”
This time, it was Connor who said it with a pout.
Hank laughed. Finally, he’d found the perfect sweater.
“Why not?”
“Because it has a dad joke on it!”
“A Christmas themed one.”
“I’ll be a disgrace. Against all that I stand for: complaining about your dad jokes.”
“Eh, you’re meant to find these things tacky, you know. Took me a hell of a long time to find one that would fall into the category.”
Connor folded his arms. “Well… I… I’ll wear it. If you agree to wear what I picked out for you.”
“I… haven’t seen the one you picked out.”
“Exactly. You have to agree to it now, before you see it. Or I won’t wear yours.”
“Fine.”
Connor laughed, deep and almost evil, before turning around the sweater.
“For fuck’s sake!”
Because on it was the thing he had come to hate the most that holiday season: tinsel.
“You lose, Hank.”