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It’s when they’re at a family dinner that Philip and Margaret Buckley spring it on them, something that afterwards Buck thinks he should have been more suspicious of but he’s not, blissfully unaware of what his parents intentions are. The relationship with his parents has been better since they started therapy, they’ve been accepting of him and Eddie’s relationship, but there’s always that final barrier that Buck thinks he’ll never be able to get over. Eddie understands, he’s got Buck’s back through everything, but Maddie is the one who can’t see why he doesn’t want to be around his parents at Christmas. She always sees the best side of them, not like him, she was never a designer baby, discarded when he was no use. She’s never been the one left behind.
It’s only the fact he has Eddie and Christopher with him, solidly and forever by his side that meant he’d agreed to this dinner, and now he’s wishing he had said no. Christopher is staying with Abuela so he didn’t have to be around the Buckley’s, which is one thing good at least. The reason why is that they’ve never really taken much interest in Buck, at any point in his life, and it’s worse now that Buck and Eddie have shown that they’d firmly put the pair of them outside their inner sphere and showed that they didn't need them around to be happy. It stings sometimes still, that they’ve let Buck go so easily, but there's enough to get him distracted with his wonderful boyfriend and the beautiful boy that Eddie says is as much his son as well that he’s mostly able to put it to one side.
So this dinner comes a little bit out of the blue and when Buck asks Maddie if she knows what’s going on she shrugs. Neither of them are any the wiser as to what’s going on in their parent’s minds, but considering how they’ve always been around Buck, he’s not holding out any hope.
They’ve never cared about him, and so he’s too busy thinking of all the awful things that either one of them could say about him, or about his relationship, or about Eddie, and that means that he’s not prepared for the real reason why the Buckley’s have actually asked them all over to Maddie’s.
It’s when they are eating the dinner that Maddie and he slaved over for hours over and even though Chim and Eddie have both expressed how impressed they are, there’s been nothing from his mom or dad, not that he’s expecting anything, anyway. Jee is having her own plate and she knocks the gravy over and Chim has to glare when Phillip starts to make a comment that almost makes Maddie run into the kitchen. Buck shares a sideways glance with a bemused Eddie, feels their knees knock together under the table to take comfort in his presence and his unwavering love. After they’ve finished eating, before Chim goes to get the dessert out of the fridge, Margaret clears her throat and they all fall silent, guessing this is it.
Eddie's hand creeps into Buck’s, squeezing tight because he knows what the Buckley’s can do to Buck, how they can make him feel and it’s so comforting, just having his boyfriend’s strength and support no matter what.
“I thought we could do the family photo this afternoon,” Margaret says into the sudden silence.
It is so not what Buck is expecting and he chokes a little, anger starting to cloud his mind because every year in his life he's never been wanted, he wasn’t even asked to take part in this ritual. Beside him, Eddie looks confused however. “Photo?” he asks and Phillip glares a little at Buck.
“For the family Christmas card,” he explains, eyes still fixed on Buck like he’s let him down by not warning Eddie in advance.
No one says anything, stunned into silence and Buck’s parents beam around the table and that’s enough, he’s so angry and he’s so annoyed and he hates feeling like this, why is he never enough for them?
“I’m not doing it,” he says and his voice is low and so, so angry. Eddie squeezes his hand again and it’s the only tether that’s holding Buck in place. “You didn’t ask any of us last year, you’ve never asked me before, what is this, a chance to show that just because we’ve been in therapy you’re no longer the shitty parents you’ve always been?”
He feels bad the minute he says it, as he sees his mom's eyes full with tears, but he can’t help the way he feels.
“You’ve always been the same, Evan,” his dad starts to say and Buck can feel that thread holding him together start to snap.
“I’ve only ever asked to be part of your family, to be loved. You’ve never done that,” he snaps, and he’s standing up, shaking off Eddie’s hand. “I was a kid, all I ever wanted was to have a Christmas where I was cared for and loved and you were proud of me and wanted to spend time with me. And this now? It’s too little, too late.”
“You can’t just go,” Margaret says, “we’ve been working with you, repairing things. You owe us this.”
Buck swallows, because he still turns back into the little boy he hated feeling when they’re like this and he knew this was a bad idea but he couldn’t pass up this chance to try to rebuild something he never had and he guesses he never will. Maddie’s trying to hide how shocked and upset she is, Chim is holding Jee and his face is understanding, but it’s Eddie that helps more than anything else in the world.
“Buck owes you nothing,” he says, firmly, standing up. “You should be thankful that he’s trying to build a relationship with you, but it’s your fault that you let it get that bad in the first place. And a photo for your Christmas card? Why would Buck owe you that?”
Buck’s never had that before, someone who has his back no matter what, and he lets Eddie lead him out of the house, hearing him thanking Maddie and Chim and ignoring the rest of the voices from his parents and then they’re in the Jeep, his hand warm against Buck’s thigh. He doesn’t speak until they get home, until Eddie has sat him down on the sofa, fetched a glass of wine and then joined him.
“I’m sorry,” he says as Eddie sits as close to him as possible, his fingers rubbing softly against Buck’s own as he holds them tightly.
“What for?” Eddie asks, his voice so full of adoration and understanding that it makes Buck want to cry. “Your parents being horrible to you? You know I have your back all the time, baby, they were just wrong to ask that of you and to react the way they did. You didn’t do anything wrong, at all.”
“I know,” Buck says, squeezing Eddie’s fingers, “I didn’t get to do any of this when I was younger,” he tries to explain, tries to get out exactly what he’s feeling because although he doesn’t want to be in the photo, he also really wants to be in a photo too and it’s making his hipead spin. “I was never part of anyone’s family photo. No one ever wanted me.”
“You are family, and Christopher and I want you,” Eddie says fiercely.
Buck can feel his heart reforming and fixing all the cracks that were ever made when he was little, shaped by the love Eddie holds for him. Eddie just holds him close and lets him get how he’s feeling out of his system without saying or doing anything to make Buck feel like he’s a burden and that’s why he loves him so much.
But it becomes clear over the next few days that Eddie has a master plan, that he’s involved Chris in because they’re always around, on Eddie’s phone, snapping photos whenever they can. Buck’s not sure why, but if he gets the chance to hug and kiss Eddie and Christopher he’s going to take it. So he doesn’t ask too many questions and grumbles under his breath to keep the act up, even if he’s touched that they’re making such an effort to cheer him up.
And then there’s the surprise when Eddie and Christopher come home from school one day with a large white box in their hands, both of them looking a little nervous. “It’s for you,” Eddie says, holding it out and whatever Buck was thinking was going on , this wasn’t it and he’s completely wrong footed.
“What is it?” he asks and Christopher is the one that groans and rolls his eyes.
“It’s a surprise, you have to open it,” he says, sounding exasperated and fond at the same time and then giggling when Buck tickles him in retaliation.
Buck looks closer at them both, and they look so excited, their eyes twinkling and sparkling and he can’t wait any longer. He sits down, Christopher right next to him, almost vibrating with happiness, the box on the table and slits the sellotape keeping it shut. Eddie keeps his eyes fixed on his face as he reaches in and pulls out what’s inside.
“What?” Buck whispers as he looks at the cards Eddie’s holding out, a set of them with one of the pictures that the sneaky Diaz boys took printed on them. It’s a selfie of the three of them, the only family Buck needs there in front of him. It’s beautiful, and it makes a lump rise in his throat. Christopher is in between them and he looks so radiant and so happy as he gazes up at Buck, it’s clear why Eddie chose to use this photo. Eddie looks gorgeous, sexy as hell to Buck’s eyes at least, wearing that black shirt that always makes him go crazy and Buck is looking at both of them like they are everything to him, the world, the galaxy, the universe. He looks like all his Christmases have come at once, the way he’s staring half at the camera and half at the two most important people in his life.
“It’s our Christmas card,” Christopher says, and Buck’s eyes snap to his, and he guesses his feelings can be seen written clearer over his face if the way Eddie reaches over and threads his fingers through Buck’s is any indication.
“I thought… you said you’d never had a family photo and you are. You and Christopher, our family, I mean. I thought this would be lovely,” Eddie explains and he sounds nervous.
Buck makes a soft noise, deep in his throat and then he puts the card down so, so carefully, trailing gentle fingers over it almost reverently. And then he leans into Eddie, grabbing his head in both his hands and kissing him deeply, ignoring the gagging from Christopher. When he releases Eddie, he smacks a noisy kiss to Christopher’s head too.
“I love it,” he says and his voice is rough. “I love you.”
“Well, I guess you’re ok,” Eddie says, letting his fingers curl around Buck’s ears, down his neck, and laughs when Buck growls a little and kisses him once more, laughing when Christopher makes another noise of disgust, declares them too soppy for him and then makes his way into the lounge to watch some TV, even if he strokes his hand gently over Buck’s arm as he leaves to show he doesn’t mean it, not really.
“So you’re alright with it? The cards I mean? We can send them out to everyone, our friends, our families,” Eddie asks almost shyly and Buck laughs and kisses him firmer now they’re alone.
“I love them, and yes,” he says. “And let’s send one to my parents, please, let them see how happy we are. Fuck them and their photo, our family one is so much better,” Buck says eventually, once the tingling he still gets even now when they’re kissing subsides enough for him to think conerently again.
“Yeah,” Eddie says, his face alight and so beautiful. “Yeah. Our family. Let's do it. But one thing… don’t waste this on your parents, how about you fuck me instead?”