Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Christmas Day, 2015

Somewhere near Farrs Corner, VA

The roads were getting slick. The snow started sometime overnight, and by morning, the accumulation had made the day a very white Christmas. Dr. Dana Scully smiled at the thought of the kids at the hospital waking to the sight. The forecast hadn’t called for it, but a storm system developing further west took an abrupt easterly turn. She was sure they’d think it a Christmas miracle.

A miracle… That word lingered in her mind. Milagro in Spanish as she had learned years ago. Agent Scully is already in love. Of course, she had been. Undeniably and completely. She still often thought of the idea of miracles, mostly at church, where she allowed herself to reflect on the meaning of them and all the occasions in her life that seemed to be manifestations of them.

Is that why she was here, driving through the backcountry roads of Virginia? Looking for a miracle? What would that even look like for her?

Her mind drifted back to recent events. The undeniable feeling surfacing from beneath her usual calm and collected demeanor, could not be ignored. She couldn’t bury it like usual. It gave her the impetus she needed on this Christmas afternoon to not think, but act.

The snowfall, heavier now, prompted Scully to say a quick silent prayer as she often did when travelling. She thanked herself for switching her car tires to the winter kind the previous month. While the benefits of living in the city were plentiful, the striking beauty of the countryside covered in white, sparkling powder made her miss the comfort and quiet of her old life there.

Miracles, she thought again. Ahead of her, a car approached.

As the two vehicles advanced, coming into better focus of each other, the second car suddenly decelerated, sliding side to side as it slowed and the driver adjusted to counter the skid. Scully, reacting, pumped her brakes to help her slow down quickly, ready to swerve out of the way if needed.

Just as the other car passed, she recognized the driver and she watched, dazed for a moment, in her side mirror as he brought the car to a stop off the side of the road not too far behind. She pulled off to the side as well and came to a full stop, turning off the car and exiting quickly.

“Jesus! Mulder…”

Mulder, having seen Scully stop, jumped out of his car and jogged back towards her, scrunching his face at the onslaught of snowflakes ceaselessly striking him.

“Scully!” He called. “What are you doing?”

“What am I doing Mulder? What are you doing? You almost swerved off the road.” She yelled across the two-lane roadway at the man who had inspired her impromptu Christmas road-trip.

“But what are you doing here Scully?” He called, stilled across the road.

“I… I had to see you.” She said, holding his gaze, rapidly blinking the snow out of her eyes.

“Funny! I was coming to see you.” Mulder replied.

They held there; eyes locked on each other.

Chapter Text

6 weeks earlier…

November 12, 2015

Our Lady of Sorrows Hospital

Scully was tired. The stress of back-to-back shifts at the hospital coupled with a worse than usual start of the flu season ate away at her energy reserves. Then again, she was often tired these days. Not a physical fatigue. She was emotionally drained.

It was not atypical for her to throw herself into her work at times. Yet, even she had to admit that the last two years of her professional life had been amongst the most gruelling years of her career. Careers she thought. Any of them.

In medical school, she experienced periods of extreme focus and commitment to her scientific pursuits, to the detriment of her overall health and relationships. At Quantico, driven by her desire to distinguish herself, she often worked to the point of exhaustion researching, studying, assisting her superiors or mentors, and taking on anything she could find to prove her worth.

Then there was her time on the X-Files, her time with Fox Mulder. Suddenly she was in the presence of someone who lived and breathed his work. She immediately saw herself in him. Both so determined, so alike, but on such different paths. His single-mindedness stemming from his life experiences and his pursuit of his truth. Hers from an incessant need for validation.

She would often chastise him for working so much, for keeping both of them working so much, not ever admitting that she was just as guilty for enabling their lifestyle. Mulder’s only crime, if Scully was being truly honest, was making her fall for him in the process.

Her previous relationships with those she worked with, or for, evolved from the convenience of having romantic partners who shared her work, her views, and her passion. Eventually though, she outgrew them. All victims to her need to rise to a challenge and to carve her own path.

It unnerved her to think that’s what happened with Mulder. That that was what she was doing when she walked away from him two years ago now. No! She had to go. She could not help a man anymore who wouldn’t help himself. His demons caught up with him and for the first time in their history, she could not help shield him. Or would not. At times, she wasn’t sure.

Now, she throws herself into her work trying to help those who cannot help themselves. The children at this hospital who have brought meaning to her life. Now though, the emotional devotion was catching up to her as she wandered the halls of the hospital in search of yet another chart, another diagnosis, another possible bit of bad news. Her auto-pilot taking over yet again; her coping mechanism.

“Hi there, I’m trying to track down an x-ray for pediatrics.” Scully said to a nurse stationed at the counter in the radiology department.

“Dr... Scully,” the nurse followed after looking down at Scully’s name tag. “Is it for a patient of yours? I haven’t seen anything come by my desk tagged for you.”

“Yes, it’s for my patient, last name Campbell, age 8, chest x-ray. It was taken a few hours ago.”

It’s an unusually busy evening outside the pediatric wing. The halls are swamped with patients and families. Most of them seemingly coming in through the emergency unit, needing further diagnostics such as bloodwork and x-rays. She’d hoped that she’d be able to wrap up her reports soon in order to rush home for her “date” with a long bath and a glass of wine. She needed her x-ray results though and, based on the crowd waiting around, it wasn’t likely she’d get anything any time soon.

“I don’t see it here,” he declared while sifting through the files on the desk. “It may not have been processed yet. If you give me a moment, I can try looking it up. Sorry, we’ve been slammed this evening with the ER being so overwhelmed.”

“That’d be fine, thank you.” Scully offered, trying to supress her frustration.

She walked away from the desk to allow the nurse some breathing room. Looking around, she could understand the processing chaos. There were several people waiting to be attended to. It did frustrate her though. Hospital administration inefficiencies were somewhat of a pet peeve of hers. If she ever quit medicine, she could easily transition into a process improvement consulting position.

“Mulder? Fox Mulder?” The name, like a tether, instantly pulled Scully right back to the present.

“Here.” She heard. Something was slightly different about the voice but so familiar at the same time.

Mulder! She thought as she turned to see him walk with a medical professional through a set of double doors into the patient diagnostic area.

Scully knew it wasn’t simple curiosity that prompted her to follow down the same hall and through the same doors. Something stirred within her. After all this time, she had no reason to follow Mulder as he went about his own business. They were no longer a couple. Their lives were no longer tied to one another. Yet, here he was, and here she was, pulled right back towards him.

Through the doors she paused to determine where exactly this blast from her past had proceeded to. There was a short hallway off the left side of her with curtained stalls and washrooms; changing stalls she thought. Along the opposite wall, there were multiple doors leading into individual diagnostic rooms. At the end of the hall were signs pointing towards larger imaging rooms for more detailed scans. He likely wouldn't be there since he hadn’t been in a hospital gown and those rooms were geared towards admitted patients or those who would’ve been here a while. 

“Hey there stranger.” The voice said.

Scully quickly turned around to see Mulder come up behind her. “Mulder!”

Both paused to take stock of each other.

“Mulder, what are you doing here?” She finally blurted.

He pointed over his shoulder through the short, changing-stall hallway. “Had to use the bathroom.” Mulder covered his mouth with his arm and coughed heavily. At her raised eyebrow, he continued, “X-rays! I can’t seem to shake this cough.” Scully confirmed the difference she noted earlier. He’s been sick.  

“It’s too late for regular visits. You came through the emergency? Why? Mulder you should’ve called me and I could’ve helped arrange an appointment.” She offered.

“Hey doc, you don’t have to worry about me. I’m a big boy.”

“But why come to the emergency?” She continued.

“Mr. Mulder? This way please.” The same man as before was signalling Mulder to enter one of the rooms off the hallway.

Mulder coughed again. “Scully, it’s okay. I’m fine. I’ll talk to you later.” He moved to follow the technologist.

“Mulder, wait!” She trailed him, Mulder coughing loudly again while clutching his side underneath his armpit.

“Are you with this patient, Dr…?” The man asked.

“Scully! I… uh” she searched for words.

“It’s fine, she can come.” Mulder interjected.

They all stepped into a room with several medical equipment. X-ray machines. There was a smaller room off to the side, enclosed by glass, and lined with a number of screens.

“Mr. Mulder, you will need to take off your coat and shirt. An undershirt is okay if you want to keep on. Do you have any jewelry or piercings on?” The man asked. Mulder shook his head. “Okay. I’m going to arrange some of these coverings on you. I’ll need you to step over here where the line is on the floor.”

Mulder followed instructions as Scully stood off to the side watching. She shouldn’t really be there, but instinct and habit took over all normal, logical thought processes. This is what she did. She was not only a doctor, but she was Mulder’s… She was Mulder’s person. Or at least she used to be.

“So, Mr. Mulder, we’re going to take a few images here of your chest. You came in because of a sharp pain in your…” he paused to look down at the chart. “Your left rib cage, when you cough?” Mulder nodded.

“Mulder!” Scully looked over. “When did that start?” She probed.

“A couple of days ago. It’s fine Scully.”

Scully followed the man into the side room. She watched closely as he walked Mulder through a series of breaths and scans while the machine whirled around him. When it was all over, Mulder turned to re-dress.

“I’ll be sending these down to the ER shortly. We’re a little backed up tonight, but it hopefully shouldn’t be much longer for you.” The man ushered Mulder and Scully out of the room.

They walked silently back through the double doors and down the same hallway Scully had been standing in before by the front desk.

“Mulder, what else did they say? Do you have a fever or any other pain?” She lifted her arm and touched the back of her hand to his forehead.

Mulder pulled his head back. “Scully, it’s fine.”

“You keep saying that, but clearly it’s not fine Mulder. Something happened to make you drag yourself to the ER.”

“Wasn’t doing anything else tonight.” He joked though Scully couldn’t help feeling he was being scornful. He coughed heavily again.

“Mulder…”

“I’m okay. I started feeling pain a couple of days ago. It doesn’t seem to be going away. I thought maybe I popped a rib. But it’s keeping me from being able to sleep, hurts when I lie down.” He offered.

“I wish you’d have called me.” She said.

“Well…” he looked around, then back at her. “It’s not your job to worry about me. As I said Scully, I’m a big boy.”

“I called you last month. On your birthday.” She sighed. “You didn’t return my call.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. Thanks, by the way.” He coughed again. “I never seem to keep my cell on me these days. I didn’t get your call until a couple of days later, and by then…” He shrugged again.  

“Dr. Scully. There you are. We’ve located your file; it’s just been sent up to pediatrics.” The nurse from before had returned to the desk.

“Thank you,” Scully said. She turned back to Mulder, resigned. “I should go.”

He nodded. “Was nice seeing you doc.”

She studied him. “Mulder, call me, if you need me. I mean it. I don’t mind.” She slowly walked away. Hoping he’d stop her and say something, anything, but he didn’t. When she glanced back, she found that he had already started his way towards the elevators. Out of her life again, her auto-pilot now retaking over.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

November 26, 2015

Mulder’s Residence, VA

Mulder entered the home just in time to hear his phone ringing, his old-school answering machine quickly picking up the call.

“Mulder, it’s me. Are you there? Mulder, pick up if you’re there.” Scully audibly sighed. “Okay! Your cellphone is off, I was hoping you’d be home. I just wanted to call, see if you’re feeling better and wish you a happy Thanksgiving. Call me if you get the chance. Bye.”

He stood staring at his phone. He’d kicked off his sneakers and was peeling the layers of clothing off his sweat-laden body, the effect of his morning five-mile run. He knew he should have picked up. He should have. He knew he should call her back. Yet, there he stood, unable to drum up the courage. Instead, he walked upstairs and into his shower.

Chapter Text

December 5, 2015

King’s Ransom Pub, Alexandria, VA

Mulder made a concerted effort to get out of the house this evening. His run-in with Scully a few weeks ago had thrown his habitual self-pitying solo parties into disarray. Not that that’s what kept him occupied most of the time. He usually balanced his days with regular exercise, reading, researching, and his side hustle of consulting on bizarre cases, usually for journalists or writers looking for different angles on their stories.

Tonight, he found himself drawn towards a more social setting which led him to this popular resto-pub in the heart of Alexandria. His old stomping grounds. He was always drawn to the area around Christmastime. Scully and he used to wander the streets arm-in-arm, taking in the ambience of the season.

He’d been here a few times before, usually sitting at the bar as he was tonight. While not a big drinker, he enjoyed a drink now and then to accompany the surprisingly delectable cuisine. The company he made wasn’t so bad either. And he could use company tonight.

Earlier in the day, in a need to busy both his mind and body, he finally tackled organizing his ever-expanding video and DVD collection. It was then that he came across an old video tape of Casablanca. Being someone who was into the classics, Scully had gifted him that years ago. She said that she saw a little bit of Mulder in Rick.

He recalled the cozy night they spent curled up on her couch watching it together. It was January. Shortly after the dawn of the new millennium and the dawn of something new between them. Her Christmas tree still up, lights on, fire lit.

The two of them came first that night, their partnership a secondary afterthought. It was the first time there was no hesitation when she took his arm into hers and rested her head on his shoulder. The first time, emboldened by their growing closeness, they leaned in and kissed when saying goodnight. Gently, they parted their lips opening themselves to one another.

Suddenly his usual solo parties seemed too overwhelming for his fragile stability to bear. He cleaned up, dressed in his casual best, and buried his feelings as deep down as his consciousness was capable of. When he ordered his uber, this was the only place he could think to put as his destination, swiftly realizing he needed to make more friends.

“Hey there stranger.” Scully leaned over his shoulder and smiled. 

Mulder wasn’t expecting to hear that too-familiar voice tonight. Not in this pub. For an instant, he wondered if he had dreamt it into a false reality. His brain registering her there as if she was, but she herself as absent as ever. He half-turned his barstool hopeful, but readying for disappointment.

He smiled widely as their eyes locked. “Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.”

Scully chuckled, happy for the playfulness. “Must be kismet Mulder.”

“Kismet…” he nodded seemingly unconvinced, “or a big coincidence?” His gaze held hers steadily, smiles still brimming.

“If coincidences are just coincidences, then why do they feel so contrived?” She retorted, that same line he gave her many years ago. A counter-argument to her usual scepticism and one typically so obstruse that it’s not itself easily countered.

“Well, that explains it, I guess. Either you contrived this encounter or fate did. To what do I owe the pleasure… or whom?” He moved his legs and gestured to the stool next to him. Hoping she was able to stay, even for a little bit.

Scully studied his face. She hesitated, not knowing exactly what she intended when she walked over here. Knowing she had to talk to him, but just now realizing she had no idea what she was hoping for beyond saying hello.

She slipped into the seat next to him.

“I guess you could say this was a little bit fate, a little bit human intervention. I’m here with work colleagues.” She nodded past him and towards a table in a semi-private area in the back of the bar as he turned to look over his shoulder, noting the large group conversing animatedly.  “But I picked the venue.” She continued as she locked eyes with him again, still smiling.

He laughed. “How are you Scully?”

“I’m fine, thank you. We meet again Mulder.”

“Yes, I guess so. But… I’m not complaining.”

“Neither am I. How are you doing Mulder? You sound better. Are you feeling better?” She asked, her doctor voice bubbling to the surface.

“Yeah, I am, thanks. I’m doing okay.” He nodded along, this time forcing his lips into a continued smile. He was happy she was here. His heart was smiling at the sight of her, taking in her beautiful eyes, her evening-makeup adorned face, her flowing red locks. But he knew that when he said he’s doing okay, he was embellishing.

They both sat silently, not sure where this conversation was going. They were able to slide into their usual rapport so easily before. When it was the two of them against the world. But, after so long, in this bar, out here in the real world with all voices, all the eyes, their relationship felt conspicuously undefined.

“Can I buy you a drink?” Mulder asked, again hoping he can extend this visit.

“Um… I suppose I could stay for one drink. I really should get back to the group soon. It’s supposed to be a holiday party for the pediatric unit staff, but it’s turning into a venting session on work politics.”

“Ha, I’m sure that’s just fascinating… talking shop on a Saturday night. So, what’s the gossip?” He asked, genuinely interested.

“The usual, egos conflicting with bigger egos, hospital administration throwing their weight around on issues they don’t understand, yada yada, blah blah.” Scully noticed the bartender walk over. “I’ll have… what he’s having,” pointing to Mulder’s drink.

“Gin and tonic.” Mulder instructed the bartender, quickly catching her eyes and then just as quickly turning away.

“Fancy, Mulder.” Scully said as she watched the young woman briefly pause to study him then nod and walk away. A barely perceptible, questioning look in her eyes.

“What can I say? I felt fancy tonight.” He said, taking a sip of his classic drink.

 “So, do you come here often, then?” Scully probed.

Mulder glanced up, not sure how to respond. “On occasion.”

“And what occasion is it today?” The bartender returned with her drink and smiled. “Thank you.” Scully stated flatly.

“Thanks Alicia.” Mulder coughed and nodded in her direction as she turned to tend to her other customers. To Scully, he thoughtfully responded “Christmas spirit? I don’t know Scully. I come here occasionally to have a drink. Eat some decent food. Chat with… friends. How did you happen upon this place?”

This was a mistake, she thought suddenly very aware of just how unprepared she was for this encounter; to see Mulder out in the world. Scully took a long sip of her drink.

“We were looking for a place to come to, somewhere central to where we all live. And I like Alexandria during the holidays, as you know. I remember coming to this area with you and I noticed this place… found it again online, recognized it by the pictures.”

Mulder considered this. After a moment, he held up his drink, “well, here’s looking at you, kid,” he said, continuing his Casablanca references.

She clinked her glass with his. “So… friends, Mulder?”

“Meh, I’m trying new things. Learning to keep my head on terra firma so to speak, to try living in the world of mere non-alien, non-mutant, entirely un-paranormal humans.” He gibed.

“How boring, huh? Well, you seem to have one admirer in the real world… well, two, I guess. One new” she nodded again in Alicia’s direction, “one… not so new. I always thought you make good company.”

“Just a little suffocating…” he replied. “Sorry, cheap shot.”

Scully audibly sighed, a long deep exhale of breath to steady her hands that gripped her drink.

After a long pause, “sorry Scully, really. I’m happy I ran into you… again.” His forced smile returned.

She paused as well. “Mulder, you don’t need to apologize. I’m fine. But for the record, I never found you suffocating… just the alien, mutant, entirely paranormal, possibly humans you insisted we fill our lives with.”

“Touché! But, how fun, huh?” He teased.

They locked eyes. This time genuine smiles formed again, unforced.

“Well, all good things must come to an end sometime Mulder.” She sipped the last bit of her drink.

“Must they?” He challenged.

“That’s what they say.” She countered.

“Dana!” A sudden cry from within the burgeoning crowd interrupted their moment.

“Scott, hi!” Scully reached out to take hold of the arm of a tall stranger rapidly invading their space. “Sorry I got delayed. I ran into… an old friend.” She said as she quickly returned her gaze to Mulder.

Eyes still locked with his, “Fox Mulder, this is Dr. Scott Malone.”

Extending his hand to Mulder’s, “Fox, pleasure meeting you.” Mulder nodded, feebly shaking the man’s hand.

“Dana, it seems some of your other friends over there have outgrown this place. They’re heading out on what is likely to be a pub crawl. I was thinking we’d head out too. Drive you home?”

“Yes, please! I don’t think I can handle more menacing tales from the med units tonight.” She stood up, flattening out the creases her satiny, forest-green dress formed.

“I’ll get our coats.”

Scully turned back to Mulder. “It was nice seeing you Mulder. Maybe fate will find us bumping into each other again soon.”

Mulder chuckled. He wasn’t sure if it was her leaving or her leaving with a tall, lanky, conventionally handsome doctor that suddenly made his heart race and hands turn ice cold. He was hoping after at least one drink tonight her impeccable doctor senses were somewhat dulled to notice him taking deep, steadying breaths to calm his nerves.

“Maybe. I’ll have to start believing in Christmas miracles, I guess. Wish upon a star or a turtledove, or whatever it is I should be doing. But who believes in that? We could just call each other…”

Scully noticed Scott waving from the coat check at the door.

“Wow, you’re such a sceptic now Mulder.”

“All good things must come to an end… wasn’t that what they say?”

She smirked, slowly leaning forward, bringing her mouth close to his ear. “I guess we’ll always have Paris… or the greater Washington D.C. area.” She kissed him lightly on his cheek, before looking him one more time square in the eyes, and before turning to go meet her awaiting ride home.

Mulder watched her walk away. Watched her greet the other departing members of her party. He watched her apparent escort help her with her coat, and when this stranger leaned into her space to whisper something in her ear, it got too much for him to handle. Too much for the night. Turning back to the bar he tried to make eye contact with his “new” friend.

Scully turned and stood facing the bar. She saw Alicia come over and rest her elbows on the countertop in front of Mulder, casually picking up a conversation with him, obviously completely enamoured of him.

“Ready Dana?” She paused for one long last look.

“Yes, I am. Let’s get out of here.”

Chapter Text

December 19, 2015

Washington D.C.

Christmas was Scully’s favourite time of the year. As a Catholic, she of course respected the significance of the occasion, but there were other Christian holy days that she observed with due reverence. No. If she had to be honest, she loved Christmas, like so many other people, because of the pageantry, the coziness, and the festive atmosphere.

The season also had a way of taking her out of her own head, so to speak. It pulled her back to something “approaching a normal life” as she once told Mulder. Her commitment to her work year-round did not afford her the opportunity to do that. While domesticity tugged at her heartstrings, rising to an intellectual and professional challenge fulfilled her in a way that she knew she would miss otherwise.

This afternoon though, she was able to fully immerse herself in everything she loved about this time. Accompanying her mother and a family friend, Scully found herself in The Wharf district of Washington, shopping at a pop-up Christmas market and waiting for the annual holiday boat parade to grace the riverfront.

It was an event that she’s wanted to attend for years, but stars never quite aligned for her. Not that she believed in that sort of thing. Mulder probably did. She thought. It’s the second time she’d thought of him in the last several minutes. He had popped into her head sporadically the last couple of weeks, since their encounter at that pub. 

……………………………………………………………………………………

Mulder wasn’t quite sure what he was doing at The Wharf. Guilt overwhelmed him though there was no reason for him to feel that way. He knew that this was something Scully had wanted to do for years, yet, here he was without her, not having had the courage to ask her. What would he have even said?

He knew she loved Christmas. Even now, after all this time, he was in the habit of getting a tree at home, waking on Christmas morning for a big fancy breakfast, spending the day watching holiday classics.

Here he was then, on the waterfront, like some greater force was pulling him along enabling him to feel some connection to her again. He was still affected by their encounter that night in Alexandria. As challenging as it has been in the past to put her out of his mind, the last couple of weeks tested his resolve and he was failing. Miserably.

“Fox!” Mulder heard. “Fox, over here.” He turned to see a friendly, welcoming face he’d missed more than he realized walking resolutely towards him.

“Mrs. Scully.” He bent forward and embraced her.

“Fox, please, you can still call me Maggie. How are you?” Her sincerity was a comfort to him.

“I’m good, thank you. How are you doing… Maggie?” He nodded at her name in acknowledgment of her request.

“Good, thank you. Dana’s here with me, come join us.” She said excitedly.

Mulder panicked. Shit! He thought, guilt resurfacing. He was happy at the thought of seeing her again, but terrified that him being there would be somehow misinterpreted.

“Uh, that’s a very tempting offer Maggie, but I don’t want to intrude.” He said, half honest.

“That’s nonsense. Of course you wouldn’t be intruding. Come, I want you to meet a friend.” Maggie Scully grabbed Mulder’s arm and ushered him through the crowd in the direction of the pop-up market. His hesitation melting away as her daughter came into view, beautiful as ever.

“Dana, look who I found.” Maggie declared.

“Mulder? Hi!” Scully said, dumbfounded. 

“Scully.” Mulder nodded in acknowledgment. “Nice to see you again.”

“Likewise, Mulder. Are you here… alone?” She caught herself before blurting ‘with someone’. Though in all likelihood he could be there with someone, saying the words out loud seemed too difficult for her to utter calmly.

“Yeah, I was just in the city running some errands and thought I’d stay for the show. I remembered it was… something to try.” He chose his words carefully.

Before Scully had a chance to respond, her mom continued, “Dana, I asked Fox to join us.”

“Oh! Of course.” A perfunctory response.

“No, really, I don’t want to intrude.” Mulder followed.

“No, no Mulder! It’s fine. We’re just perusing the market. We’re going to go find a good spot to view the boats. Stay.”

“Well, if you’re going to twist my arm…” Mulder shrugged jokingly.

“Hello young man.” Mulder turned to see an elderly woman looking up at his tall frame.

“Mulder, this is Agatha Hamilton. She’s a long-time family friend. Agatha, this is Fox Mulder.”

“Ms. Hamilton, my pleasure.” Mulder extended his hand.

“Don’t be ridiculous young man. Please call me Agatha.” She responded taking his hand in hers.

“Well, the wishes of anyone who refers to me as a ‘young man’ are my command.” Mulder grinned.

Scully and Maggie looked on, both smiling at the interaction.

“Shall we walk and talk?” Maggie offered.

“Yes, please! Otherwise, I’ll freeze in this position. Got to keep the joints lubricated. Let’s check out the vendors on the east side.” Agatha commanded as she started off ahead of the group. Maggie closely followed, leaving Mulder and Scully walking a few feet behind.

“So, Mulder, I didn’t think this was your scene.” Scully started.

“No, I didn’t think so either. As I said, I guess it’s the Christmas spirit. Even Ebenezer Scrooge eventually embraced the wonder of the season. Guess there’s hope for this young man.” Mulder emphasized those last words.

“Mulder, did you have some kind of ethereal experience you’re trying to tell me about?” She joked.

“Ha! I wish!”

“Well, I guess it’s typical Mulder to be vague, but it is a pretty big coincidence we find ourselves in each other’s company again.” She continued.

“Or kismet, right?” Mulder retorted.

“Or kismet. Glad to see you’re a believer again.” She teased.

Mulder laughed. “Oh, I still want to believe.”

They walked quietly for a bit, stopping alongside the other ladies to explore the variety of vendors setup along the roadway. Scully took particular interest in a selection of homemade candles and bath products, while Agatha purchased some beautifully intricate embroideries.

The older friend took a liking to Mulder, often squeezing between him and Scully, holding onto his arm as she regaled him with stories of Christmas past. Stories about her late husband, her children and grandchildren. She admonished the two of them for working so hard and not settling down. And, at Scully’s apparent discomfort, she walked back from her attempt to set Mulder up with her niece.

Scully happily watched the two of them interact. Unsure if it was just the occasion or simply her chance to relax the last few days from work, but there was a certain calm at being in her current company’s presence.

Mulder on his part was fully engrossed in the moment. There was an ease about Agatha and he always enjoyed spending time with Maggie. His memories of happy Christmases being so few, a deep appreciation of the evening and the company arose naturally.

“Margaret!” Agatha called. “I think the two of us should try and find a place to sit for a bit. My feet are aching and I’m about to turn into a frostbitten piece of Grade A meat.”

“Well, we can pop into a coffee shop for some tea before grabbing the blankets from the car to sit for the parade.”

“Sounds delightful!”

Scully paused for a moment. “Okay, I think there’s just the place a short walk from here. We can…”

Agatha interrupted. “Don’t be ridiculous you two. You, young things, go have fun. Enjoy the festivities. The band is starting up by the water, the Christmas tree is lit… go, go. Enjoy.”

“No really Agatha…” Mulder tried jumping in.

“I won’t hear it. You two go.”

Mulder looked over at Scully and shrugged. “I believe I did say her wishes were my command.”

Scully smiled. “We can’t have you breaking any wishes now.”

They said their brief goodbyes, Scully giving directions, and at Agatha’s insistence, agreeing to meet back up in a bit to secure their positions on the parade route.

The two continued their trek through the waterfront neighborhood. It was getting colder as the evening settled in. Their breaths visible, their cheeks reddening.

Making small talk, Mulder asked Scully about work and followed up on the medical drama she previously alluded to. He asked her about her plans for Christmas and how her brother and his family were doing.

Scully on her part probed Mulder about his illness and his ribs. She was slightly perturbed that he didn’t call her after his x-rays came back clear but was diagnosed with acute bronchitis which resulted in a pulled rib muscle. He had no reason to, she knew. She wasn’t his doctor, but she found it hard to accept she wasn’t the person that he turned to anymore. She found it hard to accept that evidence was pointing to that part of her life truly coming to close.

“Scully, what’s wrong?” Mulder asked, noting her slightly sadder demeanor the last few minutes.

“What? Nothing Mulder, I’m fine.” She forced a smile at him. Could he still read her like an open book?

“Sure, if you say so.” Mulder acquiesced, conspicuously unconvinced.

“So, Mulder, how is your… friend?” Scully scolded herself in her head for going there.

“My friend?” He asked, curious. “Oh, you mean the bar? Alicia?”

“There was clearly something there Mulder. She looked enamoured of you.” Scully had to know.

“Hm,” Mulder nodded, embarrassed. “There’s nothing really to tell. She works there most nights. I’ve become somewhat a regular. We’re… friendly.” His discomfort was growing, but taking courage from her directness, he continued. “How about you? You seem to have made… friends. Any tall, handsome, doctor-types caught your fancy?”

Scully smiled. They’d been avoiding direct eye contact, yet she felt compelled to look at him when she replied. “Not any worth mentioning.”

He nodded, desperately trying to hide relief beneath his cool disposition.

They stopped briefly after a moment of walking silently to explore a pop-up store of handmade wooden knickknacks. There was a definite theme in many of the designs as they seemed to all relate to stellar objects. Lovely wall art was carved into the shapes of galaxies or the solar system, many carefully painted in an explosion of colour not typical of souvenirs. These were painted in brilliant and sparkling blues, pinks, purples and all the colours one would see looking up at the night sky.

“Moira’s.” Mulder said reading the name of the vendor. “My type of store. I should get a couple of these for my bachelor pad.” Scully held her breath, seemingly pained at the thought of their home being referred to as a bachelor pad.

Mulder, unaware of his gaffe, continued. “Some of these are really beautiful. The painted ones and the raw wooden trinkets.”

Looking up after a moment, he noticed Scully wandering off a bit, standing with her back to him looking onto the Christmas tree on the pier. Mulder joined her, their long-time partnership enabling him to know instinctively where she was headed and to walk alongside her quietly and without disruption.

After a few minutes, he finally spoke up. “Talk to me Scully?”

The music grew a lot louder as they approached the large twinkling tree; the live band playing classic holiday songs and entertaining the budding crowd.

“About?” Scully teased, knowing full well he was inquiring about her pensiveness.

“Anything you want.”

She looked up at him again, shrugging, unsure what to say. The band continued playing, strumming up their rendition of ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.’

Mulder sighed. “Dance with me Scully.”

“What? Mulder, no.” She said emphatically, suddenly pulled out of her headspace and right back to the pier with him.

“Yes! Scully, dance with me. Come on.” He smiled.

“Where?” At his raised eyebrows and shrug, she further probed, “here?”

He nodded.

“Mulder there are hundreds of people around and this isn’t a dance floor.”

“Funny, I don’t see anyone but you.” He said, looking her in the eyes.

She stared at him. He convinced her with his silly smirk. He took her exaggerated eyeroll as a ‘yes’ and pulled her into his arms, hands clasped on the one side, her arm around his waist and his wrapped around her frame on the other.

They danced there slowly, breathing each other in. After a bit, Scully finally said. “Two years Mulder.” He knew exactly what she was referring to.

“Yeah… two years.”

“We had not spoken in two years before I saw you at the hospital.”

“Technically, 22 months.” He said lightheartedly, trying to lighten the mood. “But who’s counting.”

“Why?” She asked, suddenly very serious.

“I could ask you the same Scully. Why?” He countered, serious as well.

“You stopped answering my calls, Mulder.”

“You left Scully. I didn’t. I’m sorry I wasn’t stationed by the phone in the hopes you’d check in, but you knew exactly where I was.” Mulder said, sounding angrier than he actually felt, or than he thought he felt.

“Mulder…” She sighed. “I left so you could get better. So you didn’t have to feel like you were letting me down in some way because you were struggling through… things.”

“Yeah, that’s what you said.”

“Mulder… I didn’t… I never meant to lose you from my life.” She paused. “Did you ever think of me?”

“I’ve had to put you out of my mind Scully.” He offered, defiantly. “Had to pick up the pieces that were left of me and not dwell on how suffocating my problems must’ve been for you. Or my interests of all things dark and scary.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t do this. I don’t want to argue right now.” She tried hard to hide her face from him, so that he wouldn’t see her wet eyes.

The singing paused for an instrumental interlude making Mulder thankful for the extra few moments he had with her in his arms.

“I don’t want to argue either Scully. I don’t.” He said sincerely, kissing the top of her head.

As the song came to its due conclusion, the music switched to an upbeat ‘Sleigh Ride’, breaking their moment.

Scully pulled away from him. “I should go Mulder.”

“You say that a lot, Scully.” At that she glared at him. “Don’t run, please.” He pleaded.

“I’m sorry Mulder, I have to go find my mom now. You’re welcome to join us for the show.” She bluntly stated, clearly irritated and knowing full well he wouldn’t follow. 

“Scully…”

Scully quickly walked away, not looking back at him, disappearing in the crowd as she fled from him, again.

Chapter Text

December 25, 2015

Mulder’s residence

Mulder’s big Christmas breakfast felt… unsatisfying. His last interaction with Scully weighed on him heavily. The gift he bought her after their dance, was stationed under the small tree, beckoning him.

Fuck! He thought as he stretched his arms overhead, exasperated with himself.

……………………………………………………………………………

An hour later…

Mulder brought his car to a standstill and threw it into park. Abandoning the warmth, he jogged over to stand across the road from where Scully was waiting outside hers.

“Scully!” He called. “What are you doing?”

“What am I doing Mulder? What are you doing? You almost swerved off the road.” She yelled.

“But what are you doing here Scully?” Mulder held steadfast across the road.

Unsure of what to say, she finally offered, “I… I had to see you.” Holding his gaze, she rapidly blinked the snow out of her eyes.

“Funny! I was coming to see you.” He replied.

Their eyes stayed locked on each other, consumed by the moment.

“You were?” Scully questioned after a bit.

“Yeah… yes!” Mulder nodded.

“Why?” She questioned again.

Mulder slowly walked across the street, never breaking their eye contact. “I realized I didn’t give you your Christmas present.” He smiled down at her.

“You drove out in this weather to give me a Christmas present, Mulder? That’s insane!”

“You’re out in this weather too Doc. What drove you to the brink of insanity?” He countered.

“Mulder… Mulder, I…” Again, Scully was unsure how to continue. She had so much to say and yet no words seemed appropriate to express what she was feeling. His reason for coming to see her threw her off.  

She looked down and shook her head before looking back up at him. A few slow deep breaths calmed her enough to continue.

“Mulder, I spent this morning in a house surrounded by my whole family. My mom, my brother, my cousin and aunt and their families… all the kids. We opened gifts, we ate, we laughed. It was wonderful and I was so happy, in a way that I haven’t been in a long time. Reminded me of why I love Christmas so much.” She paused.

“That sounds pretty great Scully. So… what are you doing here?”

A few more steadying breaths. “I realized that as happy as I felt, it was incomplete. One of the most important people in my life was completely absent from the day, and that bothered me. Mulder, I can’t ignore how much you mean to me. I can’t deny that I want you in my life in some way. I’ve missed you… so much.” She confessed.

“Scully, you’re crazy if you think I don’t miss you. And you’re crazy if you think I don’t want you in my life.” Mulder cut in.  

“Wait! Before you say anything.” She paused again, summoning strength to say what needed to be said. “Mulder, I’m not ready to come home.”

She searched his eyes, bracing for whatever came next, hoping for his forgiveness. “I left, not because of you, because I was suffocated by you… I left because I lost sight of me. I lost sight of who I am outside of us and outside of this perpetual battle of our lives against unknown and indeterminate enemies who’ve put a stranglehold on my very existence. I needed… need to figure some stuff out still.” She paused again, shivering now. The snow was still falling heavily, only her nerves made her shake more than the cold.

“I hate what happened to us.” She continued. “I hate that we didn’t speak for almost two years Mulder. But, seeing you these last few weeks made me realize how scared I am that you’ve vanished from my life… yet again.” It was all out there, exposed. That gnawing feeling at her core that’s prevented her from fully embracing her life. All out there in the open for him to consume and digest.

“My turn?” Mulder interjected, and when she didn’t advance, “good, I’m glad to hear that.”

“Glad?”

“Scully… I’m not going anywhere. I haven’t gone anywhere.” His lips formed a regretful smile. “But, I’m not ready to let you come home.”

“You’re not?”

“Scully, since the day you walked into that basement office and into my life years ago, you’ve been my calm. I was obsessed and consumed by my search for the truth and you tethered me to this world so I wouldn’t lose sight of myself and I can’t… I can’t let you do that anymore. That’s too much to ask of you… too much for any one person to ask of another.” He raised his hand to her cheek as she tilted her head and leaned into his palm. 

“I’m not mad at you for leaving. You made the choice that was right for you. I miss you, and I’m not now, nor ever, planning on vanishing from your life.” He paused. “I’ve just needed to finally ground myself in this world.”

They stood there staring at one another for a moment, letting their exchange sink in. Mulder stroked her cheek with his thumb.

Scully nodded and asked, “so, where do we go from here?”

“That’s just it… wherever we want.” He chuckled, dropped his hand to grab hers, and continued “we never were good at defining ‘us’. Why start now?”

Scully gave him a big smile.

“Does this mean you’ll answer your phone if I call now? Or at least return my calls?”

Mulder laughed and joked, “I don’t know… see, now you’re just asking for too much. But hey, I’ll still wish upon a star, or a turtledove, or whatever I have to do to bump into you every so often.”

“Glad to hear it.” Scully smiled back before wrapping her arms around his waist and settling her head on his chest.

Mulder tucked his chin down to kiss her head gently and when she turned to look up at him again, he bent down to press a chaste kiss on her lips.

“Will you be okay getting home?” He asked.

“Yes, I think I’ll be fine. Winter tires and all. I’ll take it real slow.” He nodded back at her.

“Start your car back up, warm it up. I’ll be right back.” Mulder opened her door for her and closed it after she stepped inside. He carefully jogged back to his car, trying to not wipe out on the increasingly snowed over road. He jumped in his car, which he’d left on and running the whole time, and pulled a slow, careful three-point turn to drive back bringing his car to a stop beside her.

He grabbed a hastily wrapped gift from the passenger seat and jumped back out. Through her rolled down window he passed it over to her.

“Mulder, I’m so curious. What gift would be so worth jumping in your car and driving in this weather for?”

“The gift is not that impressive but I was hoping for brownie points for the effort.” He answered.

“A-plus.” She reassured him.

“Drive safe. Merry Christmas, Scully.”

“Merry Christmas. Don’t be a stranger Mulder.”

At that Mulder smiled and circled back to his car to start his short trek through the deserted country roads of Virginia back to their house. Always their house, he thought.

Scully watched as he drove off. She waited for her car to heat up again and her fogged windshield to clear up. Looking over at the gift he had given her, she couldn’t wait to see what it was. She wouldn’t be able to drive all the way home knowing this mystery was sitting next to her waiting to be solved.

She grabbed the package and tore open the card taped atop it.

Scully,

Whether by fate or human intervention, I am glad we happened upon one another again. It was dishonest of me, however, to imply you have ever been absent from my mind. You need to know, your very essence has been permanently imprinted on my consciousness, periodically wreaking havoc on my life in the best way possible. You center me, even from afar, and make me remember why I need to wake up every day anew; why I need to make a house a home again.

I hope you enjoy this gift, for its whimsy, and for the new discoveries unveiled at every turn. 

Merry Christmas, Scully.

Forever yours

Mulder   

She paused, pondering the card. Re-reading the words. A deep calming breath followed.

Tearing the gift-wrap, she revealed an elongated wooden box, about three inches deep double in length, with a snap lock on the top middle section. The intricate craftsmanship on the outside was exquisite. She smiled knowingly as she traced the moon, planetary and stellar carvings adorning the rectangle.

Carefully she opened it revealing a similarly, intricately etched cylindrical trinket. Picking it up from its case, she instantly knew what it was. Mulder had given her a kaleidoscope. She moved the eye piece up to look through it and rotated it slowly, counter clockwise. There were bursts of glitter and colour and wonder with every turn of her wrist, reminiscent of a star-filled night sky.

Mulder! She thought, smiling. Her nerves calmed, her breath steady, she placed her gift carefully beside her and started to drive. She drove back to her house, back towards her life, but reenergized now with the strength of her faith renewed.

The end…