Archive of Our Own ^beta

When Chan looked back to a time he was happy, he remembered Christmas Day; how the ground would be covered in fresh snow, the not too sweet nor too bitter hot chocolate his grandmother prepared for him, and the humble meal they’d both have together.

Their small bungalow would be decorated in blue and gold ornaments, forgoing the usual red color. They would bring out the small potted pine tree they’d used for many years and decorate it together with small air-dried clay trinkets Chan would make.

He would wear the sweater his grandmother would knit for him, and she would wear the shawl he bought with the allowance he saved up. 

Though Chan’s favorite part of their Christmas Day was when he would retrieve the single box sitting under the tiny tree— a custom doll set. 

Thinking back to the first time Chan expressed his interest in it, he didn’t really say it aloud. He remembered walking hand in hand with his grandmother on Christmas Eve, and his eyes caught sight of the dolls by the toy shop’s window. 

He had stopped walking then; his grandmother looked at him and followed his gaze to the pretty dolls peering back at them. She smiled and gave Chan’s hand a squeeze, effectively snapping him out from his stupor.

The next day, the doll was wrapped nicely and waiting for him under the little tree. Chan was absolutely ecstatic, and it became his favorite toy. 

Of course, that would mean that it would start to break and the paint would chip off— that was when Chan developed his current hobby of creating clothes for the dolls or even repainting them. His grandmother would always praise his works, even if they were not as good as the original paint, it was still what made his dolls truly his.

Seeing her happy smile made Chan think that he wanted to become someone his grandmother would be proud of.

Those were Chan’s happy days before his grandmother fell ill. 

He was in high school at that time, in his senior year, and barely grazing the life of a young adult, when the school called him over at the office.

He had never run as fast as he did to the hospital upon hearing the news, knees buckling when he arrived at the room his grandmother was admitted in.

She smiled weakly at him, hand caressing his cheek as their foreheads touched.

Chan felt his heart ache at her whispered words. 

Holding her hand tightly, feeling her kiss on his hair, and watching her eyes close as her hand fell limp. Chan’s ears fell into static; everything seemed to fall into slow motion as nurses entered the room at the sound of the flatline.

Chan couldn’t move his body; feet frozen to the ground, and just wanted the world to swallow him whole. 

Thrown into the world alone, Chan wasn’t given the time to grieve, immediately learning how to handle housing and budgeting by himself with the fortune his grandmother had saved for him. 

It was an amount that even Chan had been surprised about; wondering how his grandmother accumulated that much, he was told that he could live as freely as he wanted.

But all he wanted was to embrace her and make dolls for her again.

“What are you taking for free elective, Channie?”

Joshua’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts. Blinking back the tears as he stared at the flyer in his hands.

Joshua leaned in, eyes crinkling in a smile.

“Oh! That’s the new art elective they added. I would go for that if I wasn’t so interested in pottery.”

Joshua is Chan’s best friend and neighbor. He had been around even before his grandmother passed, and in Chan’s eyes, was truly a blessing to have. Joshua had helped him get back on his feet and along with his mother, made sure he was doing alright by accompanying him at home and teaching him how to cook, and just always had his back.

He also knew of Chan’s past hobby.

“I’m still unsure, hyung… It has been such a long time since… Maybe I’m not cut out for it anymore.”

Joshua hummed, “Channie, do you remember my motto in life?”

“When in doubt have some burgers and milkshakes?”

“No.” Joshua paused to chuckle. “Though that is a good one too.” He shifted slightly to bring out a small sculpted keychain from his bag.

“Excuses are for losers.”

Chan felt that squeeze his chest; Joshua smiled softly. “You gave this keychain to me on my birthday last year… which was literally a month ago. A small cartoon version of myself with a burger.”

He was startled when Joshua pushed the keychain to his face. “What are you saying that you aren’t cut out for it? Look at this masterpiece you’ve created me.” Joshua pulled his hand back, “If you have the will and passion to do it, then you are able to do it. No excuses.”

Chan felt his heart settle. His brows furrowed as he nodded.

“You’re right, hyung. This class specifically opened up the time when we will have free electives… it’s like it was waiting for me!”

“That’s the spirit! Now let’s go sign up before the slots are taken!”

That was only the beginning of Chan’s adventure.

✂-----------------

It was Chan’s first time stepping foot into an art class, and honestly, he couldn’t help but feel like everything he’d seen in shows was actually true no matter how stereotypical it may be.

Seated around him, his coursemates were dressed in eccentric and voguish clothing — he could have sworn one of them was dressed in a Kermit the frog-inspired tracksuit. Their hair colors were also dyed in fun colors; one even had rainbow-colored streaks! 

Chan thought that they were pretty cool.

The doors opened and there walked in his professor; once again, Chan thought that he may be living in some sort of story with how animated everyone appeared to be. His instructor was the epitome of an art professeur with his long blonde hair tied into a man-bun, a scarf stylishly wrapped around his neck, a long knitted cardigan thrown over a fairly simple ensemble of shirt and jeans, a cup of coffee nestled in his hands, and a tote bag carrying his art supplies.

His professor’s heavy boots stomped against the polished wooden floor, catching the attention of the students and hushing them as they sat on their seats.

Taking a sip from his coffee, the man smiled.

“Ah, we’ve got quite a handful of students trying out this new course… hmm… lovely.”

His eyes scanned the faces in the room, humming in delight.

“So introductions—I am Professor Lee, worked here for about five years and married for ten years now… if you guys know the Professor who teaches the contemporary dance elective, that is my husband. Hmm… I do not only teach this elective, but also the other music electives… so I know how difficult it is to express creativity and get a lot of work done on top of your major courses.”

The small man set down his drink and crossed his arms, “In this course, you will only be having three projects, meaning that each will be a big chunk of your overall grade. I’ve selected three different styles that you will be practicing to expand your horizons in sculpting— if you have not learned how to sew or to use clay, then I suggest you practice at home.”

He paused, feeling the fear from the students, and closed his eyes. “In grading, I am quite fair— your work will reflect the grade you deserve… but if you ever need help, I am always available for consultations.”

Opening his eyes, he grinned; sharp canines making a show. “Any questions?”

Receiving no’s and head shakes, Professor Lee clasped his hands together,

“Wonderful! Now let us get started. Your first activity will be plush doll making!”

The sun grazed at his skin gently; even with his eyes closed, he could see the bright light from up above. The blue-green-colored bench he was sitting on was quite warm, but he didn’t mind, even enjoying the sense of life it was giving him.

“Already knackered from the first day of your elective?”

Chan opened one eye, seeing Joshua sit beside him with a few clay stains on his shirt. He closed his eye again and leaned more comfortably.

“The first activity already has my mind turning into putty, hyung.”

“Is that why you are sitting here? To gain some inspiration?”

“No, hyung, I came here to photosynthesize.” Chan playfully shot back, earning a thwack on the arm. 

He chuckled, “The professor said that getting fresh air helps in getting the creative gears to turn… and also how going out opens your eyes to more sights.”

Joshua nodded, “Well, they do have a point… but Channie, your eyes are closed.”

“If I look at the sun, I’ll go bli— ouch, Shua hyung that hurt!”

Joshua ignored Chan’s whines, “You should walk around and see if anything inspires you! What is your first project?”

“It’s all about sewing, so we’re going to work on doll plushies… he said it could be of anything and of any size. In his words, he said ‘we could go absolutely ham with it’ . We’re supposed to sketch out the concept and show him at the next meeting so he could see if the design needs improvement or not.”

“Seems simple enough, isn’t it?”

Chan groaned, “That’s the thing— the instructions are so vague that there are just so many possibilities!”

Joshua chuckled, “That is much better than having no ideas, Channie. What have you thought of so far?”

“Well, when you hear the word plushie, your mind usually thinks of an animal or a humanoid. I also overheard my classmates who are planning to design their own cartoon character for it.”

“Hmm, well, I say to not make it overcomplicated.”

Chan opened his eyes, head lifting up from where it had been lying idly on the bench’s backrest. Joshua looked at the scene before them peacefully; an open green area where students laid on the grass with picnic blankets either for leisure or to work in tranquility.

“Plushies… doesn’t it remind you of when you were little and got your first stuffed toy?” Joshua smiled at his memory, “My first plushie was a Pooh bear one; I loved it dearly, and it gave comfort.”

Chan felt his insides crumble, tilting his head up to look at the sky once more. Joshua continued talking.

“If you will ask me what I think of when I hear the word plushie, I would answer, children … and usually, they are attracted to cute and simple plushies because it is what they will hug and bring around everywhere.”

The words sunk into Chan’s mind, and he tried so hard not to let his memories get the best of him. He squeezed his eyes shut and willed back his tears.

Joshua’s phone beeped, Chan heard him shifting before he felt him stand up. 

“Well, I hope that our small talk got some of the gears turning in your head. I have to go to my next class now, let’s have dinner together later?”

Unable to answer without his voice betraying him, he gave Joshua a thumbs up instead. 

When he felt like he had left, Chan sighed heavily. Head thrown back against the backrest and he covered his eyes with his arm. 

“Chan, I thought you were over this.” He murmured to himself, willing his emotions down at least until he gets home.

A cold breeze passed by him; Chan uncovered his face to see a sticky note with a bar of chocolate on the space beside him.

Chin up :) Take a break, have a KitKat!

He spluttered, slapping a hand over his mouth as he looked around to check if anyone caught him pulling an embarrassing face.

Chan picked up the note gently, smiling at the message and sticking it inside his sketchpad. Taking the bar of chocolate, he snapped it into fours and finally looked in front of him.

His eyes widened.

There seated on the grass, leaning against the bark of the giant oak tree, was the most handsome boy (perhaps his age?) he had ever seen. 

His hair was like starlight, features delicately sculpted yet soft as his eyes were closed and his whole body relaxed into the tree. He had puppy-dog-designed headphones on that matched his hair; Chan can’t help but think that it made him look all the more cuter.

He was dressed in a white-fluffy-looking hoodie with rainbow text at the front and a pair of matching shorts. It was a stylish-matching look in its own way.

When the boy opened his eyes, Chan felt his heart skip a beat.

Fanned by long lashes, the boy’s eyes seemed to twinkle against the sunlight; even if he was shaded by the tree, it seemed like there was a ray of light just adorning him.

The beautiful boy squinted, hand coming up to shield his eyes from the sun, and Chan didn’t think the boy could look much more ethereal.

Boy was he wrong.

Realizing he had been staring for quite a while, Chan looked down and held his warm face. Munching on the chocolate, he opened his sketchpad and started to draw based on memory.

Taking Joshua’s advice into account, he settled on a design he thought is both kid-appropriate and attractive to his own standards.

Now the only thing to do is hope that his professor likes it too.

Chan stood up from the bench, turning his head to the boy’s direction; only to jump on the heels of his feet and scamper away.

The boy was definitely looking his way.

“Alright, Chan-ssi, let me see what you have.”

Chan watched as the small man assessed his sketch, gulping when he traced the lines of the doll.

“Do tell me about your work— why did you settle on this design?”

Chan clasped his shaking hands together, “Thinking of plushies— initially, I thought that it should be an animal or a humanoid. But, I also realized that plushies are first given to us when we are kids… and it’s a fond memory to have.” Chan paused to smile.

“So, for my design, I’ve merged a humanoid and animal together— kind of like a hybrid but it would only have the ears and tail of the animal while everything else is human . I made the appearance more on the cuter side since it is what I think appeals more to children, and the structure is more of like a gingerbread man since it is a huggable shape.”

Chan bit his lip as he waited for the professor’s reply— he puffed out a breath when the small man cracked a smile.

“Excellent explanation— I love how you have a backstory to support your design. That is one of the key elements in this class… I also adore the colors you’ve used in your palette. Only some are willing to go for a muted note since it may appear boring to others, but your design will work nicely with it.”

Professor Lee paused to look at Chan, nodding his head he continued. “It is a doable form too, so I expect you’ll be able to do your doll pattern and try it out next meeting. You may proceed with this design, Chan-ssi.”

The professor set the sketchpad down onto the table and patted his shoulder, “Great work, I cannot wait to see the outcome of this doll.”

Chan needed a moment; his eyes were wide and he couldn’t utter a simple thank you back. Instead, he nodded gratefully and sat back down in his seat. He gaped silently at himself.

It was the first time he was applauded for his work by someone who isn’t his grandmother and Joshua. 

His heart was beating erratically, Chan winced at the ache and laid his cheek onto the cold table.

Perhaps joining this elective wasn’t such a bad idea afterall.

“So this is where you’ve been disappearing off to.”

Chan’s eyes flitted to the door where Joshua had his arm leaned against. A cream-colored apron hung around his frame, and Chan saw the splatters of wet clay on it.

“Hyung, are you also working on your pottery project?”

Joshua smiled slyly, “Hmm you can say that… I was showing my cousin around. He came to live with me, so I was teaching him how to live more… independently per se. Only got to work now.”

“Are you making that jewelry plate for auntie?”

“No~ I’m trying to make a cup. Though it isn’t going as well as I hoped.” Joshua paused to grin dreamily before he snapped his attention back to Chan. “Then I realized I haven’t seen you in a while.”

Chan smiled timidly and scratched the back of his neck. “I was finishing on my doll patterns… I couldn’t concentrate at home.”

Joshua tilted his head, “Understandable… are you done then?”

Picking up the loose fabrics and tracing paper, Chan nodded. “For today, I suppose.”

“Great, then let’s go home together. I’ll just clean up a bit… I’ll meet you by the gates.”

At seven in the evening, the campus grounds were quiet; only students with extracurricular activities were present and even then, they didn’t make much noise. 

Chan could hear the faint sound of baseballs batted in the open grounds, the gentle tune of the violins with piano accompaniment in the music room, the low beeping noise of the hallway cleaners as it mopped the floors, and the sound of his own footsteps as he walked to the lobby.

The night sky greeted him as he opened the main doors, taking in the delicious aroma of hotteok or stuffed pancake from a nearby cart. His stomach grumbled.

Hands digging into his pocket, he whined softly. “Of all the days I forgot to bring my wallet…” His heel dug the ground in a slight tantrum, “Oh well, I’ll just make a quick dinner when I get home.”

He walked slowly down the stairs, eyes distracted by the other students lingering around the school. He spotted a couple holding a large sack of cat food and were filling up the designated pet bowls around the school.

‘Ah, must be the cat club.’ He thought. He looked away with a blush when he saw the bespectacled boy lean forward to give a kiss towards the other cat-like boy.

He sighs, deep in his mind— he wonders if he’ll ever be able to find a love like that.

On his usual spot, his eyes widened. From his leisurely walk, he sped up to reach the wooden seats, bending down to pick up the piece of paper.

I hope this doesn’t come off as weird or creepy, but you looked like you really wanted it and I had some spare change… hwaiting on your studies! :)

And there with it, was the stuffed pancake.

Chan felt an unfamiliar feeling creep into him, chills up his spine; he held his chest tightly. Picking up the warm delicacy with shaking hands, he looked around in curiosity.

Surely this was the same person who’d given him the chocolate treat from before. But, that would mean that they had been… following him?

“Oh, you bought a pancake?”

Joshua’s voice broke him out from his stupor, leaning in to take a bite off the food. Chan startled, “Wait hyung—”

“Oh, it’s not peanuts. Dark brown sugar is what my cousin usually orders too… though I guess it’s because he’s allergic to peanuts.”

Chan stared at him in shock, Joshua chewing the food happily. “But this is good in its own way. Anyhow, let’s go Channie.”

“R-right.” Chan looked at the pancake in his hands, seeing the sweet paste ooze from the inside. He closed his eyes and bit it, his taste buds joyously dancing to the honeyed flavor.

“Channie… are you snogging the pancake?” Joshua covered his mouth with his palm, expression akin to someone who witnessed something they’re not supposed to see.

“Wha— hyung, of course not! What kind of a question is that?” 

Joshua snickered, “I was just toying with you~ it’s so fun to tease you because of the reactions you make, Channie!”

On their way back, Chan grumbled and kept punching Joshua’s shoulder while munching on his pancake and Joshua laughed at the action. 

Both failed to see how someone had been shadowing them.

✂-----------------

To make the doll, Chan had prepared patterns for Professor Lee to check. After his approval, Chan would have to trace the shapes onto the cloth for the doll — in this case, a fleece texture in colors pale ivory and silver. 

Now, Chan had always been gifted in sewing and embroidery but it would be the first time he’d use a sewing machine.

“You never had a sewing machine? Not even the toy sewing machines?” Professor Lee asked, eyes wide in genuine curiosity. Chan thought how his professor would have looked dangerously cute, given that they were to be of the same age.

Chan blushed, shaking his head, and fumbled with the cloth pieces in his hands. 

“I enjoyed sewing by hand that I never got to venture out, trying sewing machines…”

“Well, you can certainly sew your doll by hand if you would like… given that you close it up tightly. I will be deducting points if I see thread sticking out or if it is not tightly held together.”

Professor Lee hummed, arms crossed over his chest, and fingers drumming against his elbow. “But, of course, if you’d like to learn how to use the machine, I will teach you. There are no other students in need of consultation right now anyway.”

Chan thought that the professor was quite a character.

After Chan learned how to use the contraption— he thought it was quite simple but was tricky when he reached the sides, having to turn the fabric and very carefully tried not to prick himself; he was pleasantly surprised with the outcome.

Another outcome he didn’t expect to happen was for Professor Lee to be in close proximity with him; the faint perfume that smelled of those higher-end brands still lingering around him, and his surprisingly smooth fingers that brushed against his still tingled.

Chan hid his face behind the doll cloth; perhaps it had been too long since he was last held so closely that he was hyper aware of everything.

He was able to test out his pattern and made adjustments here and there. Tomorrow, he’d start embroidering the face and attaching the hair before he would assemble the whole body.

“And there’s the time; everyone is dismissed. Do not forget to bring your finished doll next week!”

He caught Professor Lee’s eyes and grew flustered, quickly packing up his things before dashing out. By the door, he stumbled into another man— the man’s rough hands gripped onto his shoulders to keep him on his feet, sharp eyes flitted with concern, and his lips pouted.

“Woah, are you alright?”

Chan nodded wordlessly, mouth agape at how unfairly handsome this man looked.

Said man smiled and patted his shoulder, “Don’t run in the hallways, kid.” He then skipped inside the room. From Chan’s peripheral vision, he saw him sneak behind Professor Lee— turning him and then planting a sweet kiss onto his forehead.

He heard his professor sputter and the chuckle of the other man. Gripping his back straps and walking off, Chan smiled to himself.

Ah, must be nice having a love like that.

Chan felt a tightening in his chest once again.

Even if Chan lived alone, he was still grateful that he got to keep the small bungalow— he never knew that his grandmother had it under his name. Though that may explain why she had him pick out most of the wallpapers and designs of the house, albeit young Chan believed that his tastes were quite refined.

In the living room was Chan’s favorite place to work— by the window seats. A fluffy comforter thrown over his lap as he nestled in with a warm cup of coffee and the requiem his grandmother specially made of him. 

Whenever he sits and works there, the feeling of having his grandmother close by heightens— maybe it’s in how his mind and body automatically remember the times they work in silence together or,

“I miss her.” Chan muttered to himself, eyes strained to the doll’s face he had been embroidering. Even with the music playing quite loudly, his words felt like they cut through it.

Now the silence in the room felt deafening.

For the rest of the week, Chan had worked on perfecting the stitches on the doll; making sure that everything was tightly sewn before filling it with stuffing. In his own personal taste, the doll had cute peaches, and Chan made sure to give them a nice touch of blushing. 

Funnily enough, creating the clothes took longer than the actual doll itself. Chan had resorted to staying in the clubroom just to finish it— who knew creating a tiny hoodie would be so much work?

Though Chan was astounded to finally try out a tiny version of silkscreen, he thought maybe transferring the design with tattoo paper would have been easier.

Showing the dolls in front of the whole class was frightening, to say the least. While Chan was outgoing and loved presenting his ideas, he was still shy and nervous about what other people would have to say about something he worked hard on. 

“You have to get used to criticism.” Joshua spoke while occupied with the block of clay in front of him.

“Don’t you want to be an artisan? How else are you going to master it if you cannot even take simple critiques from your peers.”

Sometimes Joshua’s words take a hard blow.

Chan was just thankful that he wasn’t the first to present— that would be his Kermit-obsessed classmate, though Chan thought he was pretty cool for always having the green frog present in his outfits.

The doll was actually a mini version of himself, albeit with lanky limbs and a simple face. What made its appeal is the fact that the hair had bumps which resembled a teddy bear, and a whole rack of clothes prepared for it.

Kermit-obsessed classmate looked awfully pleased with himself when Professor Lee complimented him on the doll clothes.

Another student created a tiny 10cm doll with a doll skeleton and was commended by how intricate his details were even with the smaller size dimensions.

When it was Chan’s turn, the apples of his cheeks flushed upon hearing the cooing noises from his peers. Even Kermit-obsessed classmate nodded his head, giving him a thumbs up and saying, “I like your color palette.” when it was time for critique.

Professor Lee patted his shoulder, “As per your specifications, it followed the blueprint well— your pattern was seamless, the fabrics you chose were lovely, and the embroidery work is outstanding. Good job, Chan-ssi.”

Hearing those words felt like a weight had been lifted off of Chan’s chest; he could finally breathe easier.

Professor Lee chuckled, “Don’t be so nervous, kid. Be confident about your work but also learn to listen to comments that may be useful to better your work.”

That day, Chan sat back down on his seat with his doll— named Roy G. Biv, and the erratic beating of his heart slowly calmed down. Looking at his small creation,  Chan felt like he was finally alive again.

“Congratulations on finishing your doll!” Joshua clasped his hands together, a vibrant smile on his face. 

Chan uncovered his eyes and sat up straight, grinning dopily at Joshua as he sat down next to him on the bench, and Roy G. Biv was sat in-between them.

“Shall we celebrate with your favorite mocha cake later?”

Chan giggled, “I would love that— we just finished our first project, but we must start on the next one already… Professor Lee didn’t even give our grades for this one!”

“I heard that art professeurs only give your grades when you’re finished with your finals… you’ll only get to appeal for your points then.”

Chan nearly fell off the seat.

“What?!”

Joshua blinked his eyes at him in a mixture of surprise and amusement, “Didn’t you know that before you joined the course, Channie? It’s typical for art subjects to be like that— so you won’t be too grade conscious and focus on making your art better with the critiques you get during presentations.”

“How on earth would I have ever known that?”

Now Joshua looked lukewarm.

“Don’t you check your subjects on the school’s community forum page? Previous students usually post their experience when a new student is trying for that class. I knew of this because I was researching about my pottery class.”

Chan slumped back against his seat, “Well, I suppose it does make sense… though that’s a bit worrying, I did get good reviews a while ago… more or less.”

Joshua patted his head, “Don’t fret about it too much, Channie. Professors are really fair in giving grades, so just do your best.”

The timer on Joshua’s watch broke their conversation; the older clicked it to a stop.

“Ah, the cup I’ve been working on should be finished baking by now. Want to have a look at it?”

“Sure, hyungie.” 

Chan followed Joshua to the pottery room; Joshua headed straight to the kiln while Chan sat down on the tables. 

It’s safe to say that Chan was a bit shocked when he saw Joshua’s variety of cups— from dainty teacups to a chunky-looking mug that he’d never seen before. Joshua prided himself for coming up with that form.

“You should see my friend’s work! He sculpted what he liked to call ‘booty mugs’. It was quite the sight.”

Chan laughed, moving over to pick one cup up. “Woah, hyung, this has a nice weight on it!”

Joshua’s eyes crinkled, “It does, doesn’t it? I also made matching saucers to go with it… I made quite a few to give away and one set is for you.”

Chan’s eyes sparkled in excitement, “Really, hyung?”

“Of course~ but the world is not free labor— so paint it yourself.”

Chan chuckled, “Fine by me… now I don’t need to buy a new mug… lucky~”

He decided on a simple design of a plain blue background and white fluffy clouds for the cup, and on the saucer would be greens with small specs of color resembling flowers in the meadows. 

He looked over at the mug Joshua was painting, seeing the same plain blue background for the cup but instead, it had the arch of the rainbow connecting to the saucer, which was painted in a tie-dye fashion— portraying that the rainbow created the spill of color.

Seeing the rainbow made him remember something—

“I left Roy G. Biv on the bench!” Chan screeched, dropping the paintbrush and scurrying to the door. 

“Wait for me here, hyung, I’ll be back!”

Dashing outside the campus building, Chan skidded to a stop when he reached the benches; the bottom of his sneakers were scuffed, and he released a sigh of relief when he saw the doll still sitting there.

But, he felt a tightening in his chest when he saw a slip of paper with a chilled Banana Milk beside it. 

You’ve worked well, congrats! :)

Chan felt like moments had passed after he read the message. Unconsciously stabbing the Banana Milk open and silently taking a sip of the cold drink. 

Just who is this mystery Pandora?

✂-----------------

The second project was fairly easier compared to the first, or so Chan believed it to be. 

“Now then, we shall work on your repainting and re-rooting skills.” Professor Lee turned to showcase a vintage Barbie and Ken doll.

“You will be customizing these figures — it can be of anyone you like. I don’t mind if you know them or don’t— if they are real or fictional. I will be grading you based on how well you’ve painted the faces, how you styled the hair, and how well your whole doll— yes, with the clothes, will look with the concept you choose.”

Professor Lee snapped his fingers, “Ah, there will be plus points if you create an outbox for it too. Then we can all display your dolls here in the classroom!” He happily instructed, turning to his desk and pulling out more dolls. 

“And don’t worry, I will be teaching you how to prime your dolls.” He settled the large box on the table. “Now, before we start, let’s have a short coffee break— do explore around and gain inspiration. Be back here in half an hour.”

“Chan-ssi?”

Chan looked up from his notebook to see Kermit-obsessed boy.

Giving a warm smile, Chan saluted playfully. “Yo!”

The boy gave a gentle smile; Chan thought that it contrasted with his eccentric outfit. 

“I’m Minghao, but you can call me Eight.”

“Like… the number?”

“Yup! It’s my branding name, and I’m more comfortable using it than my real name.”

Chan gaped as he nodded, “Oh that’s understandable and very cool— I never thought to have a branding name before.”

Minghao tilted his head, “No? But you seem like you’ve created a lot! How did you label them as yours before?”

“I usually create to give as gifts… so I never really had to put a tag on them or anything.” Chan laughed shyly and scratched the back of his neck.

“I see! Well, it’s never too late to start now— don’t you want to be a doll artisan or a designer in the future?”

That definitely made Chan pause to think.

The pair decided to go to their school’s cafe— a quaint shop with inexpensive coffee and pastries, and a wonderful view of the campus’s greenery. Usually, the seats would be full; but since it was class hours, there were only a handful present. 

Sitting back on the cushioned seats, Chan rested his chin on his palm. Minghao had engaged in a story about how he figured that his calling was being an artisan— though he wasn’t sure if it’s with clothes or dolls just yet. 

“Your doll was so cute! Will your next one be of yourself too?”

“You make me sound so egotistical, Chan.” Minghao hummed as he sipped his tea. “But in this project, my muse will be my mother.”

Chan felt the warmth of the coffee infuse him inside, “That sounds lovely, Eight.”

“What about you, Chan? Who is your muse?”

“Oh, I don’t really—”

The door chimed, a rush of wind gust past him. Chan felt his heart stop, pupils dilating when he saw the man who had entered. 

What was once starlight, was now the tone of the earth— grounding and deep. His golden brown tufts styled to curve over his forehead, brows combed neatly and arched over hazel eyes, and skin unblemished.

Chan almost spat his coffee when he realized what the man was wearing.

“Ya! You can’t just run off of the shoot… especially since you’re wearing bedroom attire!” A tall puppy-like man trailed behind him with a camera dangling from his neck.

“But I want some royal milk tea.” Replied the angelic man. Chan felt himself melt into his seat at the sound of his voice.

“We could have asked Seokmin-ah to get it for you! We need to finish our shooting today or Professor Yoon will have our heads!”

The man chuckled, gummy smile on full display as he patted the other’s back. “We have plenty of time, Gyu-ah. You don’t have to edit the photos anyway.”

The puppy-like man grumbled and followed after him. Chan was broken out from his observation with a hand waving in front of him.

“Chan?”

“Oh!” Chan turned his attention back to Minghao who was studying him in confusion. “Sorry… I think I just found my Ken doll.”

“What a romantic way to put it! Then, I can’t wait to see your creation.”

When they got back to the art room, it was surprisingly lively— since Chan observed that his peers were more on the laid-back temper. 

At the front, Professor Lee had his long white sleeves tucked up until his elbows, showing his porcelain skin and Chan couldn’t help but be reminded of a certain Ken doll inspiration he had seen a while ago.

Hiding his burning face in his palm, and willing his thoughts of seeing a peek of the beautiful man’s bare chest (how rude of him to wear that silk night-wear out!), Chan shyly took a male doll from the pile.

Minghao looked at him in amusement, picking up a female doll for himself.

They were taught to remove the existing hair on the doll— since the male dolls didn’t have plastic hair on them, they would have to create wig caps for the dolls instead of rerooting them with a needle, which the female dolls would have.

After, they used acetone to remove the existing face; Professor Lee had them open the windows so that the odor wouldn’t get cramped in the room. 

“Woah, can’t believe we’re repainting these vintage Barbie dolls… but I do like their figure more than the dolls now. They’re certainly more elegant.” Minghao thought aloud, Chan couldn’t help but agree.

“Alright, now that you have your clean base, you can start with your re-rooting or the creation of your hair wefts.” A large box of yarn was brought out; the students’ eyes enlarged at the wonderful array of colors.

“Well, don’t be shy now— choose the colors you’ll use for your doll. Ah, and be sure to get those two types of brushes too.”

Chan chose a copper shade for the yarn, sitting next to Minghao who got a charcoal color. To untangle the yarn strings, they had to use the plastic brush. To make the strings finer, the metal brush is then used.

Since Chan was styling hair for a male doll, he had to make a ‘wig cap’ and used a silicone thumb cover and glue gun to help stick the yarn-wefts into place. In his mind, the vision of his Ken doll’s perfectly curled hair was engraved in his mind; he took a heated metal chopstick and started to style the hair into place. 

“Alright, now that you are finished with your doll’s hair, it’s time to put the primer for the face. For this, you will need to use a solvent-type coating agent as it will help your watercolor pencils and paint to adhere to the doll itself.”

Professor Lee crossed his arms, “Speaking of which, do choose the colors you will use now. We’ll be working outside.” He pointed towards the door where rolls of tarpaulin sheets were present. 

“Anyway, it’s good for you all to work outdoors and get some fresh air.” Professor Lee nodded to himself, “Ah, and a piece of advice… get multiple shades for your colors— a simple brown can have shades of amber, red, and darker or lighter browns.”

Once they piled out to the open green area, Professor Lee handed out masks before they could start spraying the coating agent on the dolls. He had mentioned that it serves as the layers for colors, so build-up is extremely important to get the opacity and brightness of color that they would like. 

As Chan was spraying his doll, he choked on his own saliva when he saw his walking Ken doll on a picnic blanket— now dressed in a blue hoodie and what looked to be khaki-toned jeans with a green print on them. He’s wearing stylish square-like frames and was posed like he’s eating a cherry amidst the different fruits and desserts around him.

“Chan, are you okay?” Minghao patted his back as he continued to fight for breath. 

“I’m fine, thank you.” Chan laughed carelessly, waving his hand in dismissal. Minghao squinted his eyes at him and towards his periphery, seeing the Ken doll posing for a photo shoot and grinned cheekily. 

“Ah, I see what’s going on.” Minghao said with a smug look before he went back to his own work. Chan spluttered out and was rambling on as Minghao deliberately ignored him.

Both were unaware that a pair of eyes were looking their way.

They spent all five hours of their class period drawing and repainting the doll’s face— Chan was actually glad that his muse was there, so it was a little easier to replicate. But he blushed everytime the human Ken doll would seem to hold his gaze. 

Beside him, Minghao giggled whenever he caught Chan’s flushed face. 

Since this task was quite simple, their deadline for the whole project would be next week— Professor Lee had mentioned how the last project was quite difficult so it was better to start on that as early as possible. 

Chan volunteered to put back the tarps they set out, placing his things in the art room first before going back to the open area where a little surprise was waiting for him.

He halted in his steps, gulping slightly, and bent down to retrieve the sole slip of paper with a clementine as the paper-weight. 

Keep up the hard work! Here’s a clementine for that vitamin C :)

Smiling to himself, he hid his face in the paper and squealed inside. Though he felt quite unnerved receiving these mystery letters before, he couldn’t help but have that bubbly feeling in him whenever he encounters one. 

“Oh, where did you get that?” Minghao asked when he entered the room. Chan diligently placed the tarpaulin roll against the wall while he balanced the peeled clementine in his hand. 

“Who knows~” Chan giggled to himself, savoring the sweet taste of the pulpy fruit and pranced towards his belongings.

Minghao thought that his new friend appeared to be odd, but fun all the same. 

✂-----------------

Unexpectedly, Minghao had become a close friend. Chan often worked with him, which was certainly a plus since he was able to get feedback on the clothes he was sewing. 

In his mind, he knew Minghao knew who the muse of his doll was — if the teasing smile on Minghao’s face was anything to go by, but he was glad that the boy hadn’t asked more about it. 

Between finishing up his requirements for his general classes— thank goodness Joshua was there to work with him, and touching up the clothes and doll-box with Minghao, Chan was feeling strangely restless. The tightening feeling in his gut certainly didn’t help the situation.

Squishing Roy G. Biv’s arms (somehow, it had become a stress-relief doll), Chan mindlessly walked towards his favorite bench. He almost dropped the doll when he saw who was lazily sat there. 

It was him— but his whole being looked more vibrant. Even with the sun setting in the background, the man looked like a hundred lights were directed only at him. His hair had changed to a lighter brown shade, now resembling that of caramel, and was laid flat across his forehead. He had his eyes closed, and Chan could make out his long lashes that laid delicately against pristine skin. He was sporting a ridiculous pastel tie-dye shirt paired with yellow shorts—

Yet Chan still thought that he looked perfect.

But nothing could have prepared Chan for when the stunning man opened his eyes. 

It was then Chan realized that in every project, he had been inspired because of him. Whenever he looked at him, the tight feeling in his chest seemed to lessen— for what reason, he didn’t know yet. 

Was it possible to feel a connection with someone he didn’t know anything about? Can Chan let himself hope that this person will accept him entirely? Will Chan be able to trust this person with his heart?

Though these were questions he couldn’t answer for now, he was sure that this man had become his muse.

—who had been peering directly into his eyes for a while now.

Chan’s face flushed into a bright red. He must have looked silly, standing there and gaping at him, but the man gave a warm smile.

“Hi.”

“H-Hi.”

Chan stammered, gripping the doll in his hands tightly.

The man tilted his head cutely and patted the empty space next to him. Chan nodded his head in thanks as he sat down mutely; his lips were pressed together and he honestly felt like he could faint at any moment.

As they sat there in silence with the wind softly blowing and the faint sound coming from the music room in the background, Chan could hear his heart beating loudly. 

He snuck a glance beside him and saw that the gorgeous man looked quite relaxed, a gentle smile on his face as he took in the sunset before them.

He jolted when the boy suddenly turned and locked eyes with him. 

“Your eyes are beautiful.” Chan thought.

The man gave a tender smile, “Nothing in this world is more beautiful than you.”

Chan’s brain short-circuited— had he said that aloud? And had the beautiful man give him a reply? Was that a compliment or was that flirting? Chan’s heart beat erratically.

“I-uh… ah… uhm… I—” Chan stuttered, lips trembling and his eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his eye sockets. 

He chuckled, hair falling over his eyes; and he combed it back swiftly with his hand. Chan’s eyes captured every image, and was probably going to replay it in his mind later on.

“As much as I would love to stay, I fear that I must go… see you around!” 

Maybe it was Chan’s own imagination, but the boy definitely winked at him. Watching him leave, Chan melted into the bench.

What had just happened? Was this his reward for working hard? Why didn’t he ask for his name!

Chan hugged Roy G. Biv tightly and groaned.

For Chan’s second project— or what he liked to call his flawlessly-handsome Ken doll, he wanted it to evoke the mood of beauty in comfort. There are two sets of clothes for it— the royal blue silk sleepwear and the casual hoodie wear. He even included miniature objects to go along with it such as eyeglasses made of wire, pillows from leftover cloth and stuffing, and fruits made from air-dry clay. 

For the box, Chan kept it simple and used the vintage Barbie doll-box as inspiration. He merely painted different poses of the doll as its design.

“Dino?” Professor Lee had asked as he examined the box.

“Ah, that would be my branding name, sir.” Replied Chan, scratching the back of his neck shyly. He turned slightly to look at Minghao who gave him a thumbs up.

“Well, it is a very interesting name.” Professor Lee smiled, “Wonderful work, Chan. If this isn’t a Ken doll, then I don’t know what is… I also appreciate the fact that you went beyond what is expected and created accessories to go along with it.” He chuckled, moving to place the doll on the shelf. 

Chan didn’t stop the smile that lit up his face. 

“All of you are showing extraordinary work— you all have exceeded my expectations so far in this course! Well done, everyone!” A round of applause and hollers came from the students. Professor Lee hushed them playfully, “Though it also makes me expect more from you in your final project.”

Chan held his breath at the glint in Professor Lee’s eyes.

“You will be creating a marionette!”

“And then he proceeded to explain how we can use paper, fabric, or foam to create it— but we’d get higher marks if we tried to make it with wood.” Chan stabbed his fishcake, “I have zero experience with wood work.”

Joshua laughed, “Well, you have been breezing through the class so this is good! Be a little challenged~” 

“Hyung, it’s not only a little challenge— it’s a big challenge!” Chan pouted, furrowing his brows madly when Joshua chuckled again.

“If it is with claywork or sculpting, I could help you, but I am also not that good with wood work… oh! But my cousin is!” 

Chan raised his brows, “Is this the cousin you mentioned that’s living with you for now?”

Joshua nodded and pulled out his phone, “He owes me a favor, so I’ll tell him about you…” He trailed off, typing quickly onto his phone before his phone vibrated. “And there! I sent him your number, so he’ll contact you to ask for more details of when he can assist you.”

Chan leaned into Joshua and fake cried, hugging him loosely. 

“Shua hyung, where would I be without you~”

Joshua patted his head, “You definitely don’t want me to answer that.”

“What— hey!”

Hi, this is Josh’s cousin! He told me you need help on carving a marionette doll on wood?

Hi! Yes, I’m in the doll-making elective and it’s for our final project. I hope that I’m not being a bother to your studies?

Not at all! I love wood-art so I’m all up to help you out! 

That’s brilliant to hear! I will probably keep it simple too!

Oh minimalistic then? 

Something like that ㅋㅋㅋ ! I’m still churning my brain for ideas ㅠㅠ

LOL. I honestly thought of Pinnochio at first.

Even Pinnochio seems difficult to do! 

Well, I could show you some samples of what you can create that’s on the easier side? There’s a lot of wooden dolls in the carving studio.

That would be so helpful!

Great! I’ll text you the details!

Thank you so much, you’re a life saver!

No problem. I’ll do my best to help you :)

Chan stared at the smiley face and bit his lip shyly.

✂-----------------

When Chan walked into the carving studio, it felt like he was in a different world. Maybe it was because of its vintage feel, but Chan gaped in awe at the many marionettes and other crafts (like birdhouses) present. 

From the cupboards and even hung up on the ceiling were different styles of wooden puppets; some cute, some daunting, and some silly to look at. Chan felt a little uneasy with the whole project now that he’s seen the different ways on how to go about it.

The sound of wood scraping caught Chan’s attention; he walked further inside. When he turned the corner, a gust of wind flew past him. Eyes widening, he gaped at the sight.

His thick brows were furrowed as he carefully carved the block of wood in his hands, thin rosy lips pursed together in concentration, his foot tapped to the rhythm of the music coming from his headphones. 

The world must certainly be playing tricks on Chan, right? Why else would they have these many encounters if the world didn’t want them to meet?

Chan must’ve stood there for a while since the beautiful man finally took notice of him, head tilting up and eyes meeting his.

Once again, he gave a dazzling smile enough to leave Chan falling on his knees— but of course, he must remain normal and calm.

“Hi, did you already have an idea for your doll or would you like me to show you around more?”

Now, hold on. Pretty Ken doll was Joshua’s cousin and his mentor for wood carving? Oh universe, the tricks you’re playing are dangerous for Chan’s heart. 

“Uh… I… no— I mean yes, I have an idea already and no— y-you don’t have to show me around. I’ve already caused you much trouble.” 

He gave a slight chuckle and dusted his hands, “Who said you were giving me trouble?” He stood up and walked closer to Chan— even with the distance between them, Chan could already make out the spicy amber scent of his perfume. 

He leaned down to Chan’s height, their noses almost brushing against each other’s as he peered into Chan’s eyes. He gave a handsome smile, 

“Someone as beautiful as you is no trouble at all.” 

Chan felt like he couldn’t breathe anymore.

Ken doll leaned back slightly and gave a wide grin, “Now, let me teach you the basics of wood carving.”

Thankfully, Chan’s nerves settled down once pretty boy started to explain the nature behind wood doll-making. Though he was still quiet and shy (he was sure that if Joshua finds out about this, he’ll be teased for life), he’s proud to say that he learned quite a lot from the boy.

“Once you’ve transferred your designs on wood— I prepared a sample for you, you’re going to drill holes in them and make sure that they’re somehow aligned so that you can thread it together with a thick string. Since it’s your first time, I don’t think your professor will be too much into the wood details—”

Chan’s eyes glazed over as Ken doll explained further, and though he really wanted to listen to every word he was saying, he himself was quite distracting. Chan’s eyes trailed to Ken doll’s milky skin, how his muscles tensed when he gripped onto the hand drill, how he would wet his lips before speaking, and how his beautiful hazel eyes seemed to sparkle.

“—I would love to see the design you come up with!” 

Chan almost gave a squeak. Pulling on a large smile, he gave a strong nod to him.

Oh, if only you knew you are my muse, Ken doll . Chan thought.

Chan watched as he carved a tiny cat, making sure to memorize every detail when he mentioned that it was inspired from his own cat that had sadly passed away. Chan felt his heart ache a little at that.

Ken doll worked in silence but would fill in the air as Chan studied him— the wood technique, closely. After a couple of hours, they reached their end point.

He was staring at Chan with a dazed look in his eyes, shifting slightly, and it seemed like he was reaching out a hand when there came a knock on the door.

“Yo bro, are you done? Mingyu is going to nag on us again if we’re la— oh hi!” 

Chan’s head whipped towards the door, seeing a boy with a sunny smile. He offered another smile, certainly not as bright as his, and gave a little wave.

Chan could have sworn he heard Ken doll sigh deeply before he stood up from the stool. 

“We were just finishing up here, Seokmin…” He gave the other a look, said boy’s brows wiggling in delight.

“I see~ well, I’ll wait for you outside then!”

With the door clicking to a close, Chan turned back to his muse who wore a soft smile.

“Guess that’s all for now… I hope that I got to help you!”

“You are a really big help! Thank you so much.” Chan bowed a couple of times in gratefulness; the other boy chuckled and scratched the back of his neck.

“Say… when you’re done with your project, do you wa—”

The alarm tone coming from Chan’s pocket cut off Ken doll’s question; he looked rather indifferent to it while Chan apologized profusely, taking out his phone and gasped when he saw the time.

“I’m sorry, I forgot I had to meet up with my groupmates for class.”

“No worries…” He bit his lip.

“But, you were saying?”

Ken doll stared at him for a moment, his eyes looked like they dimmed a little, but he gave a smile nonetheless.

“No, it was nothing. You should go to your meeting, I also need to go to my shoot.” Chan nodded unsurely. “Alright…” A grin plastered on his face. “Thanks so much again for this! You really saved me! I’ll be sure to treat you next time.”

At that, Ken doll seemed to have brightened up a little bit.

“I hate to interrupt, but we really have to get going…” Seokmin peeked from the door with a timid yet teasing smile. Ken doll grumbled but picked up his knapsack, slung it over his shoulder, and kept a hand in his pocket.

He was walking towards the door when he turned back. Giving Chan a smirk, he tilted his head rather alluringly.

“I’m looking forward to our next encounter then, Chan.”

Chan was unable to reply— and it was only then he realized that he never got his name, but Ken doll certainly knew his.

“Well, shite.”

While it seems like school was going by fairly quickly, Chan knew deep down that he kept himself distracted because it was almost that time of the year.

In other’s eyes, he would agree with the fact that his life is rather smooth-sailing for the most part. Chan was diligent in his studies,  dependable, kind, and humorous; he was talented in some aspects of the arts, and knew how to fend for himself.

But, that aching in his heart always reminded him of how lonely he was. Maybe it was his lack of mourning or acceptance of grief that caused him to end up that way, but he didn’t like celebrating Christmas after what happened.

Though he would cast a smile every time his peers were giddy about the holiday, he would join in on the laughter but would busy himself with the remaining requirements to do. 

So there he was, sitting by the benches and looking up at the cloudy sky. A knitted cloud-designed muffler wrapped cozily around his neck and a cup of warm hot chocolate in his hands.

The rest of his peers were busy after classes in preparation for their own Christmas parties at home— Joshua and Minghao were preparing to fly off to their homelands and perhaps Chan felt a little downcast at that. He had hoped that he could at least see them during that lonesome day.

No matter. Chan had braved through all these years alone, and he could do it again.

“But it doesn’t mean I want to.” Chan spoke quietly to the air, a sigh escaping him.

He looked down and sworn he saw something move from behind the trees but paid it no mind, shifting in his seat and laid down on the bench.

He closed his eyes and let the relaxing air clear his mind; he was almost done with all his projects, so he could start watching all the shows he’d missed… or maybe—

Eyes jolting open at the slight touch on his forehead, his eyes crisscrossed at the note stuck on him.

He plucked it and felt his heart race.

Finals week ending soon! Sorry I don’t have any treats with me right now, but I’m wishing you all the luck that you get to finish all your deadlines on time :)

Chan felt a surge of energy rush through him.

“Well, I wasn’t planning on finishing my marionette today, but might as well.”

He grunted as he got up, reading the slip of paper again and grinned. He closed his eyes and leant his forehead against it,

“Thank you, mystery person for giving me motivation.”

The tree’s leaves dancing slightly with the wind.

✂-----------------

It was finally time to present their puppets, and Chan was sweating buckets.

Apparently, only he had the gall to create it using wood. Minghao snickered from beside him and shrugged his shoulders.

“I didn’t want to get splinters, and I wanted to create a paper doll.”

Professor Lee whistled when it was Chan’s turn. “Chan, as always the overachiever!” He paused to chuckle as his other classmates giggled. “Do explain your work.”

Unlike his previous works, this one used the most techniques that he wasn’t accustomed to. He had followed Ken doll’s template for the doll body — which was the figures artists use when drawing body poses, but made the body skinnier and the head bigger. It somehow resembled a Tim Burton style for the figure. Keeping the clothes fairly simple with a white shirt, sweats, and socks, Chan crocheted a granny square jacket for him out of the colors red, green, yellow, and dark blue-purple. The hair Chan used for the doll was sculpted with clay for the fine detail. Finally, his favorite part— the face where he used resin to create brown with gold and rainbow specs for eyeballs, and the lips and nose sculpted finely on the wood.

For his own fun, he included a large blue ball of yarn and a wooden miniature cat figurine— of course not as good as Ken doll’s but good enough in Chan’s book. 

“To continue my collection as Dino, I wanted my dolls to represent a state of warm and snug comfort. To give a slight backstory— it is what I feel that not only I but all of us should be able to have every once and a while so that we do not burn out and that we don’t feel unwell. This could either mean taking a rest, doing things you like, or trying out something new. Honestly, this task was my first for a lot of things such as the wood art, string work, resin, and crocheting, but it was all fun to learn. I hope that through this doll, you are all able to feel a sense of contentment and that snug sentiment.”

Chan gulped when his classmates made no noise; Professor Lee had his eyes closed and thumbed at his lips in thought.

Slowly, they started clapping, and Chan felt a sense of relief down his spine. Professor Lee opened his eyes and grinned. 

“Outstanding work. You have achieved the marionette’s purpose— that is to tell a story of its own just by looking at it. It has feeling, which is vital in every doll maker— it makes me think that yes , this creator has genuine care for their craft, and it makes each creation more priceless.” 

He paused and gave Chan’s shoulder a pat, “Thank you for sharing a piece of yourself to us as Chan and Dino.”

Chan felt his heart grow at ease.

Minghao opened his arms when Chan sat down beside him and buried his face on his shoulder. Minghao rubbed his back tenderly, “You did it, Dino.”

He felt like soaring.

After their class was dismissed, Professor Lee beckoned him over. Chan fidgeted a little with the straps of his bag.

But, Professor Lee’s smile made his worries disappear. “Your muse… he is the one who you’ve created all your works out of, yes?”

Chan nodded shyly as Professor Lee hummed and leaned against his seat with a loving gaze in his eyes.

“I thought so… you were very much like I was when I first fell in love with my husband. A work with a muse always has a certain je ne sais quoi .”

Chan’s eyes widened, and his cheeks dusted with pink.

Professor Lee giggled to himself, “I remember how I first saw him in a dance studio, and I couldn’t stop thinking about him. All my works were inspired by him, which was funny because I didn’t even know him personally.” He crossed his arms and tried hard to bite back the smile painting on his face.

“But little did I know that he was already in love with me too.”

Chan got out of the building with the professor’s voice in his mind— sure, he knew that what he had for Ken doll was probably more than a crush… but love? 

As if the world was playing with him, once again, the boy in thought was sitting by the benches. It seemed like he knew Chan would come as he immediately lowered his headphones down and turned to smile at him brilliantly.

Steadily, snow started to fall. Ken doll’s hair freckled with white, and he resisted so hard to not dust it out for him.

Walking slowly to him, Chan heard his heart beat loudly. But, instead of the tightening he always felt, this time, it felt like it wanted to reach out for the boy.

“It’s snowing.” Chan dumbly said, earning a joyous sound of laughter from the other.

“Indeed, it is.” He spoke, looking up for a short while before turning back to Chan.

“I think I owe you a treat for helping me with my doll-making class.” Chan said with a hint of confidence. Ken doll merely grinned, 

“Indeed, you do.” He started to stand up, but Chan couldn’t stop the words from flowing past his lips.

“Be-because you are my muse, and I like you a lot!”

Two ticks of silence. Ken doll stood up in front of him and pulled out a marker from his back pocket. 

Taking Chan’s hand, he drew on his wrist.

I like you too :)

“Y-you… you’re…”

He grinned widely, the sun beamed down and formed a slight halo around his frame. Chan felt like melting,

“Hi Chan, I’m Vernon— Joshua’s cousin and your Mystery Pandora. Would you like to get some burgers and milkshakes with me?”

Chan’s heart ached for him.

“Only if you spend Christmas with me.”

“It’s a date then.” And when Vernon giggled, Chan felt like while his heart was not fully healed yet, he was still able to feel happiness and love all the same.