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“I cheated on you,”
When the words slipped out of Blaine’s mouth he felt like he was going to die. His eyes filled with tears as he stood with his arms crossed in the freezing cold. His dad had flown Blaine out here to see him, so they could be together during the holidays and this is what he got? At least Blaine was honest with him but at the same time, he felt like he would’ve liked it better if Blaine hadn’t told him that. He felt his heart breaking.
“I’m so sorry Kurt,” Blaine told him, trying to get him to listen to him explain himself. “It didn’t mean anything, I swear. I was just so lonely and weak and I will do anything to make this up to you,”
And usually, he would’ve listened. Blaine’s fake tears and innocent schoolboy act would’ve blinded him from what he had done. But not this time. He was done being pushed around and manipulated by him. This was the same person that had accused him of cheating not even a year ago when he hadn’t even done anything and now here they were and Blaine had actually done it.
“We’re done,” Was all he said. He felt like if he said anymore that he would start crying and he didn’t want to show Blaine that he had that much power over him.
“Kurt please,” Blaine begged him, grabbing his arm when he turned to walk away. “Just listen…”
“No Blaine, you listen,” Kurt snapped, yanking his arm out of Blaine’s grasp. “I don’t want to hear what you have to say, you can’t explain yourself. There’s nothing you can say to make this any better,”
“But it’s Christmas,” Blaine told him, seeming to be taken aback by his attitude. “It’s a time of forgiveness and love,”
“So you thought that you could just go and cheat on me and then think that I would forgive you because it’s Christmas,” Kurt asked him, infuriated. “How long ago did this even happen? Who was it? Was it Sebastian? Oh my god, it was with Sebastian, wasn’t it?”
“It wasn’t Sebastian,” Blaine said, rolling his eyes. “It doesn’t matter who it was with Kurt, I needed you and you weren’t there,”
“Are you really blaming this on me right now?” Kurt asked him, practically yelling in the middle of the skating rink at this point. “I wasn’t there for you, what about how you weren’t there for me ? You were the one who told me to come to New York in the first place and because I listened to you, you cheat on me? I mean did you just tell me to go so you could do that?”
“I made a mistake Kurt,” Blaine tried to tell him. “I was scared that you were over me but it only happened once,”
“It doesn’t matter how many times it happened,” Kurt told him stubbornly. “What matters is that we’re through. You had my full trust before this and now… I don’t trust you anymore. And if I can’t trust you then how can I be sure that you won’t do it again? How can I be sure that you won’t do it again and that you’ll keep it from me? Relationships are about trust Blaine and I don’t trust you anymore. Goodbye,”
“Kurt, please…” Blaine said again but he had already started walking away from him and he wasn’t going back. He wrapped his arms tightly around him and let his tears flow freely down his face now that Blaine couldn’t see him. He wasn’t about to let him see him cry. He didn’t know why he was crying in the first place, he wasn’t upset. He was angry. He felt betrayed and he was hurt. He was lost.
But he was also strong and he knew that he could get over Blaine. He was never going back to him, he knew he deserved better than what Blaine had given him. He deserved someone who was supportive and who viewed him as an equal, not someone who thought they were above him. He wouldn’t stay hung up on Blaine forever, that wasn’t healthy or necessary but right now he just needed to mourn.
He made his way back to his apartment and he was pretty sure his tears were freezing to his face. No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't stop his tears. He reached the door of the loft and went inside when he saw his dad sitting on his couch, watching a football game and remembering that he was there. He tried to wipe his face quickly so his dad wouldn’t see that he was crying but his nose was red and his eyes were red, he wouldn’t be able to hide it well.
“Hey bud, Blaine,” His dad greeted him, not turning around to look at him. “How was ice skating?”
His dad didn’t know that Blaine wasn’t with him. He didn’t know that Blaine had cheated on him and was never coming back. He didn’t know whether he wanted him to know or not.
“Blaine’s not here dad,” Kurt told him plainly, trying to keep his voice steady as he hung up his coat.
“Oh,” Burt said surprised, looking in the back of him now to look at Kurt. “Is he okay?”
“Yeah,” Kurt said, keeping his back faced towards his dad. “He’s fine,”
“Kurt?” His dad asked, looking right through him. “What’s going on bud?”
“I…” He started to say but he couldn’t get the words out. Instead, his body shook and he broke down, starting to cry again this time uncontrollably.
“Kurt?” His dad asked again, this time in a more concerned tone and he got up to go over to him, pulling him into a hug. He hugged him back tightly and cried into his shoulder.
“Blaine’s gone,” He whispered.
“What?” Burt asked, not understanding what Kurt meant. “He’s dead?”
“No,” Kurt shook his head. “He’s gone, I broke up with him,”
“Come on, let’s sit down,” His dad told him, letting go of him and guiding him to sit down on the couch with him. He sat down while his dad took the remote and turned the TV off before he sat down with him.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” His dad asked him when they were both sitting.
“No,” Kurt said, his voice coming out weak and choked. “I just don’t know what I did wrong,”
“Well I won’t know either unless you tell me what happened,” Burt said, taking his arm and wrapping it around him. Kurt laid his head on his shoulder and embraced the touch, liking the comfort it gave him.
“He cheated on me,” Kurt started to explain, thinking back to what Blaine had told him at the skating rink. “He didn’t tell me when or with who, only that it was my fault,”
“He said it was your fault?” His dad asked him in disbelief.
“He said that I wasn’t there for him when he needed me like that’s why he did it,” Kurt said sadly. “And he told me that he was telling me now because it was Christmas, a time of forgiveness and love , expecting me to tell him it was okay,”
“And what did you say?” Burt asked.
“I said it didn’t matter what time of year it was,” Kurt sighed, wiping his tears. “I told him that I couldn’t be with him if I couldn’t trust him and that I didn’t trust him anymore,”
“I’m sorry kid,” His dad said, rubbing his back. “What are you going to do now?”
“There’s not much,” Kurt shrugged. “I thought I was going to be with him forever… but at the same time I knew it wasn’t going to last,”
“Why’s that?”
“Because he’s always blaming me for our problems,” Kurt said. “He got mad at me when he was texting another guy, he got mad at me when I didn’t want to sleep with him, he got mad at me when I started texting another guy and when I did it it was barely even considered flirting. I just don’t understand why there was such a double standard,”
“Why didn’t you tell me about all that stuff?” His dad asked him. “You never told me he was pressuring you like that? Did you remember what I told you? Not to throw…”
“Not to throw myself around like I don’t matter because I do matter,” Kurt finished for him. “Yeah I remembered and I didn’t let him do anything until I was comfortable enough. But I just never thought about telling you anything that was going on. Last year was such a busy year for me, I barely even had time to wrap my head around what was going on myself. And I’m still busy now, maybe Blaine was just holding me back. I know I’m better off without him but it’s still hard to expect,”
“Well I’m proud of you,” His dad said. “You stuck up for yourself and you know that you deserve better,”
“So you aren’t upset?” Kurt asked him. “I thought you liked Blaine,”
“I’m upset that he cheated on you,” Kurt laughed. “You're my kid Kurt, you’re always going to come first. Sure I’m not going to go out of my way to make Blaine’s life miserable but I don’t resent you for breaking up with him. You didn’t deserve that,”
“Ok,” Kurt said, relieved that his dad was on his side.
“Now Blaine’s right about one thing,” Burt said. “Christmas is a time for love,”
“And?” Kurt asked him, not wanting to hear that Blaine was right.
“I love you, Kurt,” His dad said, hugging him a little tighter. “So no more thinking about Blaine and let’s celebrate,”
“With football?” Kurt asked his dad, raising an eyebrow.
“How else?” His dad chuckled, grabbing the remote and turning the TV back on. “Unless you need to talk more,”
“No, I don’t,” Kurt shook his head. “And I love you too. But I’m not watching football,”
“Well I see your sass hasn’t left,” His dad said. “Can you at least pretend you’re interested?”
“Sure,” Kurt said, sitting up and looking at the screen. But those tights the players were wearing were so ugly and the sight of the players piling on top of each other was unappealing and he knew he would never make it to the end of the game without losing his mind.
“All right I tried,” He sighed, picking up a fashion magazine and flipping to the page he had left off on.
I know you did bud,” Burt laughed, continuing to watch the game while Kurt looked at his magazine.