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In a home like theirs, silence is not a good thing.
As much as Splinter would complain about the ruckus, it is usually in good humor, and for the oldest turtle a sign that his brothers were having a good time. He wanted to brush it off on Mikey and Leo being on the surface buying much needed goodies from their favorite convenient store. But he knows better.
He’s a stranger to this kind of silence.
For about the fifth time that evening, he makes his way across the lair. Knocking on the frame to Donnie’s room. “Hey bud you did a good job fixing the projector, I’m going to watch Jupiter Jim Pluto Vacation if you want to join me?” He says in a hopeful tone, it would be the first time in days he would catch sight of Donnie, but like the last few times he and his brothers tried to coerce him out of his room, he’s met in silence. “Or I can make you a sandwich? Something to eat-”
A gentle arm touching his draws his attention down to his knees where Splinter stood, giving him a soft look. “Give your brother some time, he is still healing.”
“I-I know,” Raph sighs, looking back to the plank of wood that currently served as Don’s door. “I just want to know if he’s okay. He hasn’t talked to me, or even Leo. I just-” He lets his head drop. He feels Splinter’s hand gently take his and with a slight tug it pulls him away from the door. Raph has more than physical strength to dislodge his hand from his father’s, but not the emotional one. Instead, he casts Don’s door one more look, then follows Splinter away.
(#)(#)\/(#)(#)
“Weeeee’re back!” Leo sings as he slides into the kitchen, one arm holding a bag of groceries, the other gesturing as though he had slid into a musical and not into their half-built home. Raph makes sure to give him a big smile, as he sets his hammer aside. “Great! I just finished building the new cabinets so let’s fill it up!” He makes sure to glance in time to see Mikey entering the room as well with much lets gusto. But when Mikey sees Raph looking at him, he manages to pull off big wide practiced smile that Raph has to accept for now to avoid the repercussions. “Thanks, big man!” he says taking the bag from Leo and poking around inside. “Twelve types of cookies, ten types of ice cream and not a vegetable in sight!”
“Splinter is going to be so proud of us!” Leo sings again as he spins, pushing the grocery bag so it slid across the counter to the other side. Raph went to join him, with barely a glance over his shoulder to Mikey (who was filling the fridge) he whispers, “Any luck with Mikey?”
The red-striped turtle sighs. “Nothing new. He doesn’t want us to worry. How about Donnie?” He asks in a painfully hopeful tone, but Raph shakes his head. It's hard for him to see Leo’s shoulder sink, but he offers a warm hand to his shell in hopes of offering some semblance of comfort. “I know he comes out when everyone’s asleep to work on fixing up the new lair, and he gets a lot of work done, but I wish I knew if he was eating or not. Mikey's been doing a lot of cooking, but I’m not seeing him keeping a lot down-”
“Maybe we’d get a lot more work done if we didn’t keep hearing you two talk about us like we aren’t here.”
If it wasn’t for the hand on Leo’s shell, Raph was sure he would have jumped through the ceiling, but Raph turns around and gives Mikey another big smile. “Sorry Big Man-” but he stops when Mikes raises his head to give him a tired look. “And would you please stop? I can tell when you’re faking a smile. It doesn’t help and it's not comforting-”
“I-” Raph’s face drops. “Oh.” He’s not sure if Mikey had intended for that to be hurtful, but it hurts him anyway. And of course, his immediate reaction is to put on a weak smile. “Okay.” He turns back, returning to his task of filling up the cabinets. After a moment he hears Mikey let out a small sigh. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I know, I can be overbearing when I’m worried.” Raph doesn’t do more then give Mikey a smile over his shoulders. He would have smiled longer if not for his chest, the pain that had lingered for a week had finally settled into a dull persistent throb that ached none the less. But he does turn around enough to give Mikey a gentle rub to the scalp. This time Mikey offers him a smile in return, but it doesn’t hold the same bubbly personality that Raph painfully misses. It doesn’t take more than a sad look from Leo to tell him that he feels the same.
The sudden sound of tearing paper catches everyone’s attention to the soft shell standing at one of the unpacked paper bags. Donnie digs around the bag for a moment before pulling out a bag of coffee beans with a sigh. “Thanks for remembering these.” Don’s voice is hoarse, a sign that he hasn't used it in a long time, as he turns to leave the room.
Before he can stop himself Raph steps in his path. “Hey Big Dee! It’s great to see you out of your room, I was getting worried!”
He regrets his tone as Donnie flinches at his loud voice, his hand hovering for a moment over his absent noise canceling headphones as though forgetting for a moment he hadn’t rebuilt those yet. “A-nd as you can see, I’m fine. I have to rebuild all my sensory gear and the lair so I need time to myself-”
“I-I know, I-I just haven’t seen you, s-so I wasn’t sure-”
“You are now, aren’t you?” There’s a coldness to Don’s tone that makes Raph flinch for a moment. But as Donnie steps to exit the room Raph steps in his path again. “I-I-I know it's been really hard since Shredder destroyed the lair, I know we’ve lost a lot, but this is when we have to stick together buddy-”
“And as you can see, we’re clearly together now,” Donnie waves his arms out to gesture to the room. “We won, we beat the bad guy, la-di-dah happily ever after, now let me pass-”
“So we’re here for you! We’re here for you cause we’re a family and we care for each other-”
“When did you think that I didn't understand that?!” Donnie demands. “You think I don’t know any of that?!” he throws his hands in the air. “Hoo-freaking-ray! We won! We defeated the Empire, Sauron has fallen, Voldemort is dead and all it cost us was our home, part of our family-” In a swift movement Donnie goes to move past him again, before Raph can stop himself his hand shoots out to grab him by the arm but moves far too quick. Leo has already jumped in between them so instead of grabbing Don’s arm he knocks Leo hard in the chest, sending Leo falling back and knocking Donnie hard enough to slam him against the cabinets with a yelp, followed by the sound of tearing plastic and coffee beans spewing all over the floor.
In a moment there is only silence, everyone frozen in place, before Mikey presses his face into his hands and runs from the room. Leo is quick to get back to his feet and charges after him before pausing long enough to hiss at Raph, “Fix this.” and disappears after Mikey into the sewers before Raph can say anything.
For a moment Raph can only stand there, frozen as he watches Donnie look back to the coffee beans strewn across the floor before his eyes fill up with tears and he covers his mouth. Like an abandoned bridge succumbing under the weight of nature, Donnie sinks into the ground. But Raph finds himself unable to do anything other than stare in horror of himself before Donnie finally lets out a small sob and he quickly kneels in front of him. “Donnie-“
“I wanted to know her favorite flower.”
Raph pauses, “W-what?”
“Gram-gram, we only knew her for a few hours. Not even half a day, and I wanted to ask her all these questions so I could do something for her. Something to make her feel at home or at ease. B—But I couldn’t.” He sobs out, “Just as quickly as she arrived, she was taken away and we’ll never see her again. Like I’ll never see our home again.” He presses his face into his hands. “Nothing feels like home anymore and I’m so scared Raph-”
The snapping turtle quickly wraps his arms around his second youngest brother and holds him close, the turtle bursting into tears the moment his head meets his chest, fingers digging into Raph’s forearms desperate for something to hold onto. For a moment Raph again looks around to the new kitchen. To the new cabinets that don’t have the scratches or bites marks that marked Raph’s teething stage, the fridge has never had Mikey hiding inside of it during hide and seek, or the home that has only a week’s worth of memories and not a lifetime. He lets out a shaky breath as he feels his own hard-kept tears fill his eyes again. “I-I know buddy.” Raph’s voice cracks, as he presses his face against Donnie’s scalp, holding him as tight to him as he can.
“I know.”