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Lan Wangji was mortified, ashamed, and all together just a gay panicking at himself.
Why oh why did he have to kiss Wei Ying like that?
No, wait-
Why did he even kiss him in the first place?!
Lan Wangji silently sighs, wishing more than anything to bury himself in a hole or die from qi deviation in that moment.
Or at least, return to Gusu, to the Cloud Recesses and perhaps stay in seclusion for, maybe, ever.
He did not want to be in this conference any longer. Especially with Wei Ying sitting just a few meters away from him with lips still a bit red and swollen.
Lan Wangji closes his eyes and regrets instantly. The image of Wei Wuxian pinned to the tree, weak in the legs, and breathless as he kissed him earlier that day.
And, he calls Wei Ying shameless?
Oh gods, take him away from here.
Lan Xichen immediately notices his brother experiencing some predicament and asks, "Wangji? Is something the matter?"
Lan Wangji opens his eyes to look at his brother, eyes filled with remorse—to Lan Xichen, at least—"Xiongzhang.." he utters before servants immediately approach with trays of food and wine in their hands to serve every cultivator in the hall.
Lan Wangji keeps quiet until everyone is served and eating their meals. He sighs and decides to eat as well, he'll just tell his brother about it later.
Lan Xichen furrows his brows slightly at his brother's silence, a frown on his face before he composes himself. He could only sigh and trust that Wangji will tell him in his own time. Whatever it may be, as a good big brother, he will support him no matter what.
When everyone had finished their meals and engaged in idle chatter within the hall, Lan Wangji's eyes immediately make their way to where Wei Ying was and he couldn't help but stare.
Oh, his Wei Ying has never been more beautiful. I mean, not his. Wei Ying is not his.
Lan Wangji furrows his brows. Of course, Wei Ying will never be his. How could that even happen?
A servant makes their way to Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen's table with a tray of drinks.
Assuming that this must be the tea his brother had requested, Lan Wangji quickly takes a cup and sips on its contents, distractedly.
His eyes never leaving Wei Ying even though the demonic cultivator had swiftly made an exit out of the hall.
Where is his Wei Ying going?
"Wangji." Lan Xichen whisper-shouts, eyes wide in shock.
Lan Wangji turns to his brother curiously. He looked shocked but Lan Wangji didn't understand what that look was for until he registers the taste of the tea he was sipping.
Odd.
It isn't like any tea he's ever tasted before. It's a bit strong and burns slightly down his throat..
Oh.
Lan Xichen leans closer to his side, slightly concerned. "Wangji, are you alright?" he says as he takes the cup from his hands.
Lan Wangji frowns. He was a little dizzy and sleepy, but he was fine. Maybe, he just need some water and sleep.
He blacks out instantly.
A few minutes later, he wakes up in another room. This wasn't the hall from earlier. He looks around a bit dazed and dizzy, still. But he remembers now, this was his resting quarters during the week long conference.
"Wangji? Are you feeling better now? Do you want water?"
Lan Wangji turns to find Lan Xichen on the table, reading some letters or papers or something like that. He tilts his head to the side as he thinks of his brother's question.
He'd feel much better with Wei Ying by his side. He very much wants Wei Ying and not water.
Lan Wangji shakes his head, "Want.." he says but is interrupted by his own hiccups.
Lan Xichen quickly gets up and makes his way to his brother with a cup of water in his hands. "What you do want, Wangji?"
"Want.." Lan Wangji frowns. "Not want."
"Hm?" Lan Xichen hums, not understanding what his brother is saying but he has to be a supportive brother right now. "Wangji, it's okay. You can want whatever it is that you want."
Lan Wangji looks up with a gleam in his eyes. "Want?"
Lan Xichen only smiles, very confused but he doesn't show that, "Yes. Want. So, what is it that you want?"
"Wei Ying." he immediately answers.
And Lan Xichen freezes. "Huh?"
Lan Wangji turns his head, looking every which way around the room but there was no sight of the man clad in black.
Where is his Wei Ying?
Frowning at the absence of his Wei Ying, Lan Wangji hiccups and stumbles out of the bed, ignoring his dumbstruck brother.
He swiftly makes his way to wherever Wei Ying was, looking perfectly like the gracious and honorable Jade of Gusu that he was.
If only his shoes were on right.
"Wangji?" Lan Xichen exclaims.
When did he see his Wei Ying last?
"Wangji? Where are you going?" he hears his brother call for him but he's already out of the room and sprinting at the sight of a red ribbon flowing in the wind. "Wangji! Come back!"
"Lan.. Zhan?" Wei Wuxian raises a brow at the Jade before him. He looked perfectly normal. Appearance-wise, Lan Wangji was the same—stone faced and cold, very much handsome like always, his robes pristine and white, but...
His forehead ribbon was a bit crooked.
Wei Wuxian wanted to reach out and fix it for him. Well, he wasn't doing anything wrong if he did fix it for him, right?
It was just a forehead ribbon, anyway.
If Lan Wangji gets angry then Wei Wuxian will just blame the Lan for being careless in the first place, Wei Wuxian thinks and nods to himself.
He reaches his hand up and close to Lan Wangji's face. "Your forehead ribbon is a bit crooke-" he says as he reaches for the ribbon.
Lan Wangji catches his Wei Ying's hand and intertwines their hands together.
"Lan Zhan?!" Wei Wuxian jolts at the sudden touch from the Lan. "Okay, what the heck?"
First, a crooked forehead ribbon. Now, he's holding his hand? Lan Wangji is definitely strange.
Wei Wuxian tries to pull his hand away from Lan Wangji's grasp. However, with each tug, Lan Wangji only tightens his hold on him. It was getting a bit awkward and embarassing.
Lan Wangji draws his face closer to Wei Wuxian's, he could see the man's eyes were burning with a strange passion.
Wei Wuxian feels his face warm. "W-What is it? I'll have you know, I won't be coming to Gusu with you no matter how many times you ask!" he tries to intimidate him, but to no avail.
Its like Lan Wangji isn't listening to him at all! He was only staring a bit too intently at his face. Was there something wrong with his face?
"What are you looking at, Lan Zhan?!" Wei Wuxian exclaims, his face must be red by now. Gods, this was embarrassing for the both of them.
"Mine." Lan Wangji answers vaguely.
Wei Wuxian could only assume that he was referring to the forehead ribbon.
He scoffs with a roll of his eyes, "Fine, fine. All yours. Always has been, Lan Zhan."
At this, Wei Wuxian notices a sparkle in his eyes.
"Mine?" Lan Wangji asks again, looking very hopeful.
Wei Wuxian didn't really get it but he affirms with a nod. "All yours!" he says before attempting to free his hand again. "Lan Zhan, I won't bother you, alright? So, let me go."
Lan Wangji furrows his brows at him, confused. "But, mine?"
Wei Wuxian has never seen him this expressive before— at least, by Lan Wangji standards of facial expression. He secretly finds it endearing. But still, what is going on with the Second Jade of Gusu?
"Yes. Yours. But I have to go." Wei Wuxian hurries and pulls his hand away while Lan Wangji was in a state of confusion. "If you will excuse me." he nods and turns away.
Oh, but Lan Wangji sure is persistent tonight.
"Wei Ying." Lan Wangji says with so much longing and want. He grabs his wrist this time and with an even tighter hold.
Meanwhile, Wei Wuxian actually blushes at the way he pronounces his name. Who knew Lan Zhan could say it like that?
Lan Wangji quickly takes off his forehead ribbon with one hand and wraps it around Wei Wuxian's neck.
Wei Wuxian laughs awkwardly, "Lan Zhan, I seriously don't know what you're up to, but leave me out of it! Go play with someone else!" he says with finality but Lan Wangji only tilts his head at him.
Was Lan Zhan always this cute?!
"Play?" Lan Wangji shakes his head, tugging on the forehead ribbon, "Only with Wei Ying. Only you." the way he says it makes Wei Wuxian's heart beat too fast.
"Don't be like that. The women will cry if their Hanguang Jun only plays with me." Wei Wuxian says, a little amused but mostly flattered. Is this really the cold, grumpy Lan Zhan he knew since his time in Cloud Recesses?
Lan Wangji shakes his head again, "Only you." he says tenderly, running his fingers on Wei Wuxian's neck where his forehead ribbon was wrapped around.
"Lan Zhan, why are you doing this?!" Wei Wuxian wails. His face was getting warmer by the second, his heart is beating too loudly and erratically, and his Lan Zhan—no, not his!— is acting really weird!
Is Lan Zhan drunk? Wei Wuxian's eyes widen at the only possibility. What would make him this drunk though? And why would Lan Zhan drink?
Wei Wuxian, curious as he is, draws himself closer to the Lan. Perhaps, he might smell some liquor on him if he was closer.
That was Wei Wuxian's mistake.
Lan Wangji immediately used his free hand to hold Wei Wuxian's chin and leaned close, their lips barely touching.
Wei Wuxian tries to turn his head away but Lan Wangji's grip on his chin was firm. "Lan Zhan, don't do anything you'll regret!" he screeches, "You're about to kiss a man! I'm a man, Lan Zhan!"
Lan Wangji leans back, much to Wei Wuxian's relief.
"But.." Lan Wangji pouts—he pouts?! "But we have already kissed."
Wei Wuxian stills. "Huh?"
"We have already kissed." Lan Wangji repeats. And that doesn't help Wei Wuxian at all!
Wei Wuxian laughs frantically, "Don't joke with me, Lan Zhan! This isn't funny! Are you drunk?"
"I do not lie." Lan Wangji insisted and repeats, "We kissed before. I pushed you against the tree and-"
Wei Wuxian covers this drunkard's mouth with his free hand, his face was burning a deep red! He'll never ever recover from this.
"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Wei Wuxian shakes his head. How could this be? That shy maiden who stole his first kiss.. Was actually a man?! And it was Lan Wangji, too!?
Then again, what fair maiden had such incredible arm strength to begin with?
Oh, Wei Wuxian was a fool.
But he still couldn't believe it!
"Lan Zhan.." Wei Wuxian grimaces, he looks up to find him already looking at him. And, oh.
Lan Wangji had never looked at him like this before. At least, sober.
He looked at him like he hung the moon and stars. Or whatever, romantic idiom there was.
Wei Wuxian purses his lips, brows furrowed in worry. Lan Zhan definitely shouldn't remember this! No wonder the Lans forbid liquor.
"Lan Zhan. I know you're going to regret this in the morning, so how about you let me take you back to your room to rest?" Wei Wuxian says slowly, in case he couldn't understand.
"No." Lan Wangji huffs and turns his head away petulantly.
Wei Wuxian laughs at his response, "No? Why no?"
"Want to be with Wei Ying longer." drunk Lan Wangji replies honestly.
Wei Wuxian might want to get his heart checked at the healers' later. It feels like his chest was about to burst.
Wait a minute-
"Even though you're drunk, why aren't you blushy and embarrassed, huh?" Wei Wuxian huffs, a bit peeved. Is his drunk ass just messing with me, after all?
Without warning, Lan Wangji pulls Wei Wuxian into his embrace. The Yiling Laozu stiffens in his tight hold. It was warm and safe, and he's never thought to receive something this affectionate and gentle from the Hanguang Jun.
Lan Wangji lowers his head and whispers to Wei Wuxian's reddening ear, "Listen to the heartbeats."
And so, Wei Wuxian does.
And, oh.
Oh.
"Lan Zhan, are you sure about this? About me?" Wei Wuxian asks in a small voice that was very unlike him.
"Mn." Lan Wangji nods, his lips kissing the top of Wei Wuxian's head so lovingly. "Always."
Wei Wuxian purses his lips. He wasn't going to cry over this drunken confession.
Lan Wangji continues, stroking his Wei Ying's hair. "Love you. Want you. Only you. No one else but you. My Wei Ying.."
Lan Xichen—after hours of running and frantically searching for his drunk brother— nearly collapses in relief when he finds Lan Wangji safe and unharmed.
And sleeping peacefully in the lap of Wei Wuxian who was gazing at Lan Wangji with so much love and warmth in his eyes.
Lan Xichen sighs in relief.
Finally.