Work Text:
Xingqiu was tired.
No, tired wasn’t even a great enough word for it, and he couldn’t even come up with anything more poetic. He had thought about consulting Kazuha, then remembered he had set off on another voyage with Beidou and the Crux, back to Inazuma. It was like the entire world was against him. Normally, he would of been fine. After all, he had been apart of the esteemed Guhua Clan his entire life. Why was it now, as a teen, that all the stress was getting to him? He had already been through over 5 public appearances, and tommorow he had to present a speech to the Tianqian of the Liyue Qixing, Ningguang, as well as Keqing and her girlfriend, Ganyu. Xingqiu had been a nervous wreck, only feeling allowed to vent to his dear (friend? Boyfriend? He wasn’t sure) Chongyun. The exorcist had kept a calm and understanding tone while consoling him, but what if he was just using it to be nice?
Right now, he was somehow getting through another practice of the speech, in front of Chongyun, who seemed to be tired. He didn’t blame the exorcist; Xingqiu had insisted they rehearse throughout the week, and his beloved friend had obliged, even when their practice carried through the night into the next morning. The only way Xingqiu could tell he wasn’t asleep was little grunts of encouragement he would randomly throw out. He saw him rubbing his eyes once, and found himself getting flustered whenever Chongyun spoke, as whenever he slept, even after a nap, his voice would drop an octave lower. And, oh, that was so bad for Xingqiu’s heart. If it weren’t already racing, he would of had a heart attack.
”You’re doing great,” he had said once, his eyes slightly closed as he yawned and gave a thumbs up. Xingqiu could swear he felt himself dissolving into a puddle right there, and it got worse when, after Chongyun insisted they rested, he was laying in his lap.
That was yesterday. Now, all that was left of that giddy feeling was dread, though Xingqiu didn’t know where it had come from. His heart was pounding like usual, sure, but not in the, “Oh my gosh, I’m rehearsing a speech in front of my crush and he’s complimenting me,” sort of way. It felt more… violent. Provoked, even. Like someone was clawing at his mentality and ripping it apart.
He could barely concentrate on the speech. “Esteemed guests, I welcome you to… no, shoot, it’s guys? No, guests, no…”
After about another 15 minutes of this suffering, they both decided a break was neccesary.
Or rather, Chongyun dragged Xingqiu away from the stage, saying if he didn’t eat he would pass out. Xingqiu didn’t have the energy to argue.
As the two began walking away from the place they had been practicing in (On top of the mountain next to Liyue Harbor) back to the city, Xingqiu could feel his lungs working harder to let breath in as he staggered to keep up with Chongyun’s quick walking pace. His heart began to tighten, and he could feel a darkness begin to seep throughout his veins. Not here, not now, he internally plead, clutching his chest in as much of an inconspicuous way as he could.
Why did Wanwen seem so far? It usually took only 5 minutes to get there from their practice area to the beloved restaurant, but it was like the road was never ending. Xingqiu felt the eyes of everyone in Liyue staring at him. He was so distracted, he didn’t notice where he was going until it was too late. He bumped into something that felt soft, but at the same time steady as a rock.
“S-sorry,” he stuttered, looking around for anything the person he had run to had dropped. When he turned around, Xingqiu held back a gasp.
“M-Mr. Zhongli! I’m so sorry, let me-“
”Xingqiu.” He felt his name being said, felt two hands go on his shoulders, but it was like he was in a totally different dimension, just floating, floating into the abyss.
“Your friend is waiting for you. However,” Zhongli said, and everything seemed to pause. Xingqiu looked around, and… well, it did literally pause. People were frozen in the middle of talking, trading, handing over Mora.
”W-Wait, what-“
”Look at me,” Zhongli said with such power, Xingqiu immediately twisted his head up.
”I need you to breathe. In,” Zhongli breathed in slowly, “and out,” he exhaled. “Okay? Don’t overwork yourself.” Zhongli gently squeezed his shoulders.
And just like that, everything was back to normal. Childe was walking next to Zhongli as they headed the opposite direction (Childe was blushing because Zhongli was kissing him on the nose), and Chongyun was calling his name.
—
“Ahh, yes, my two favorite regulars!” Xiangling’s upbeat voice interrupted Xingqiu’s overthinking as they sat down at a table outside her signature restaurant. “I’d hand you a menu, but I’m pretty sure I know what you guys want. Anyways, what’s your order?” She seemed to conjour one of those notepads all restaurant employees have when they’re jotting down orders. Guoba was sitting near her feet, happily eating a bit of a Sakura Tempura ball that seemed to consist of only rice.
”Crystal Shrimp, no carrots,” Xingqiu replied monotonously. Xiangling and Chongyun shared a concerned look.
”Alright… and for you?” She turned towards Chongyun.
”Uh… I’ll just have a salad, obviously no spice, thank you.”
Xiangling nodded, and before the two could blink, she tossed the order pad into Guoba’s mouth. “Coming right up!”
”Thank you,” the duo said in unison. Xiangling sped off, which left the two to an awkward silence. It wasn’t because Guoba had consumed a whole piece of parchment; that was usual. Usually, Xingqiu would of said something humorous or teasing by now, but he was quiet. He could feel his heartbeat in his ears, echoing like a drum. Suddenly, he felt hands go onto his shoulders. He half expected it to be Zhongli again, but it was Chongyun.
“You’re really tense,” he whispered gently, massaging his shoulders. “Are you alright?”
Xingqiu simply nodded, inhaling as quietly as possibly. He clutched his chest again. “Fine,” he managed, eyes beginning to water.
Chongyun frowned, then went inside the restaurant. A few minutes later, he was out again, carrying two small containers in bags that both read: “Wanwen Restaurant! Serving you delicious food since the start of Teyvat!” with a chibi drawing of Xiangling winking and Guoba’s face on the back.
“Come on,” he simply said, taking Xingqiu’s arm and half dragging, half guiding him out of the area of the restaurant.
“W-Where are we going?” Xingqiu asked, bewildered.
“Our apartment.”
”B-But we still need to-“
Chongyun turned Xingqiu around then. “You aren’t mentally stable enough to do that right now. I’m bringing you home, making you some lavender tea, and then you need some rest.” It wasn’t a request, it was an order.
Far be it from Xingqiu to complain. He clutched his chest again as his heart sped up.
The two began walking over to the front of the building, the doors automatically sliding open. Chongyun waved to the receptionist, and brought Xingqiu inside the elevator. Before he knew it, he was on the 6th floor, where their apartment was. Once they were in the room, he picked him up bridal style, which caused a squeak from the young master, and brought him to their bedroom down the hall. Once he was laying down, Chongyun whispered, “may I?” before he began to take off Xingqiu’s shirt, and then his own.
“W-What are you-“
”Sshh.” A finger was pressed to his lips, and suddenly, his shirt was off, his heaving chest exposed.
“Xingqiu, I’m going to ask this one more time. Are you okay?”
”Mhm..?” He feebly nodded.
Chongyun laid his head right on the middle of Xingqiu’s chest, his ear pressed down firmly. “Your breathing is rapid, your heart is beating really fast, and you’ve been acting anxious all day.”
”I-I’m..”
”You’re safe here.”
That was it.
The trigger for the waterworks.
Xingqiu could feel his hands flail around, looking for anything to cling to, as he let out a sob. It wasn’t pretty. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he felt Chongyun wrap his strong arms around him as they both sat up.
“Hey,” he whispered into Xingqiu’s ear, threading his fingers through dark blue locks. “I’m here. I’m alive. Let it all out, Qiu.”Xingqiu desperately grasped onto Chongyun, looking anywhere but his face. “I’m… I’m so sorry-“
”Stop apologizing. Listen to my heartbeat, okay? Focus on that.”
Xingqiu felt his head being guided to Chongyun chest, where he could subtly make out a steady thump, thump that constantly kept repeating, a steady rhythm, a reminder of life. He let out an even bigger sob, gasping for air.
He had held it in for so long.
“Xingqiu, I want you to try to breathe. Is that okay with you?”
Xingqiu felt himself shaking his head, clinging tighter to Chongyun. He felt a cold hand go onto his chest again.
“Breathe in,” Chongyun pressed down gently, reminding him that he had a pair of lungs, and was human. It forced Xingqiu to inhale. “And out,” he lifted his hand, and Xingqiu blew out a fit of hot air.
”Again.” Chongyun pressed down. “In, and out.”
Xingqiu sniffled, taking a slow, albeit shaky breath.
”There you go. Again, in, and out.”
Another, in and out. Slowly, Xingqiu could feel his shoulders relaxing, although they were still tense. He felt Chongyun take his hands and started to squeeze them in a pulsing rhythm, fingers roving over ever little dent and injury he had.
”There you are,” Chongyun said softly, brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen into Xingqiu’s face. He kissed him gently on the lips, and moved one last time, so he was now laying on top of Xingqiu, chests pressed together and fingers entwined. He could feel Chongyun’s heartbeat again, this time echoing off his own. He inhaled, exhaled, and felt the tightness finally starting to go away.
“I’m… I’m…” Xingqiu tried, gulping. He felt Chongyun’s hand caress his cheeks.
”There’s no need to force yourself, qīn ài de. Try to get some rest, okay? The tea can wait until morning.”
Xingqiu sighed, then got surprised when Chongyun started to scratch behind his ears lazily. Then, his body went limp, until the only weight Xingqiu felt was the one of his head laying on his bare chest.
Chuckling, the young master finally allowed his eyes to flutter closed, until sleep enveloped him.