Work Text:
[the best worst guy i've ever met in my entire life]
Heeseung: hoon [5:42 pm]
Heeseung: hoooooon [5:43 pm]
Sunghoon: what [5:43 pm]
Heeseung: i can come over today, right?!? ┬┬﹏┬┬ i really need to go over my part one last timeee [5:43 pm]
Sunghoon: do it urself [5:44 pm]
Heeseung: can't do it w/o u [5:45 pm]
Sunghoon: idk i really need to finish this chem paper.. [5:45 pm]
Sunghoon: maybe tmrw? [5:45 pm]
Heeseung: i'll bring u tteokbokki [5:46 pm]
Sunghoon: well what r u waiting for u mf [5:46 pm]
Heeseung: > < u the best [5:46 pm]
Sunghoon: i left the door open for you [5:46 pm]
[message read]
Sunghoon sighed as she read the messages over again, whirlwind of emotions confining her aching chest as she flounced onto her bed, phone slipping from her hand. Not again.
Why was she so worked up? Sunghoon buried her face in her hands, feeling the familiar heat scald her cold fingertips. This was Heeseung they were talking about.
And that's exactly why. The silver-haired girl sat up with a sharp inhale. Since when did she start getting nervous about him coming over? They were childhood friends. They went way back.
No, Sunghoon thought as her heart gave another horrible twist. She will never let her feelings get in the way of their friendship. Even if she had to put up the best front she's ever made.
"Why is it him? Out of every possible guy I could have liked." Sunghoon ran a shaky hand through her hair as she nervously straightened out her skirt. She was still in her school uniform. Should she change?
What was the point in changing? Heeseung's coming over for school stuff anyway. Sunghoon swallowed thickly. Heeseung isn't coming over to see you, so stop trying so hard.
"Right," She whispered quietly as she swung her legs over to the side of the bed, shuffling into her slippers as she grabbed her laptop from her bag. Might as well do something to pass the time, and definitely not to get her mind off Heeseung.
Definitely not.
.
.
Her heart froze when she heard the doorbell ring. Maybe if she sat there in her chair, fingers poised over the keys on her laptop, breath as still as it could be, maybe she could pull herself together. Silence blanketed her. The draft in her room left a breeze blowing over her bare feet, toe tips white from the cold. Her fingers quivered over the keyboard. She braced herself in a desperate attempt to force her stupid feelings out of her. Things would be so much easier if she were rid of them.
The doorbell rung once more, and Sunghoon gave up. "I told you, the door's open!" She heard a faint, familiar chuckle, and tried to ignore how her chest fluttered at the sound. "Right, I forgot!"
The door clicked open quietly and she could hear the soft shuffling of clothes, picture materializing in her mind of Heeseung silently removing his shoes, hanging his puffy black parka in the closet, tteokbokki in its plastic bag swinging in one hand, script clutched in the other.
The upcoming play held by their school, the one where Heeseung starred lead role in, the sole reason for the frequent visits and restless all-nighters.
Sunghoon heard swift, light feet bounding up the stairs, and her fists clenched tightly. He would be here any second now, and she would see his face--
"Sunghoon!" And every feeling for the older crashed back into her like a massive tsunami, choppy waters flooding her weak, battered heart.
"Sunghoon? Are you okay?" Heeseung's concerned voice cut sharply into the younger's hazy thoughts, and she felt the faint burn of her cheeks as she looked away, mumbling something indistinct as she stood up to grab the plastic bag from Heeseung's hand.
"I got you sausages with it," Heeseung spoke with a huff as he sunk onto the bed, fingers carding over silky pink hair that sent a wave of crippling self-consciousness over Sunghoon as she nervously straightened her top. "U-um, thanks." She winced at the crack in her voice.
"I'll be on stage in less than a week, can you believe it?" Heeseung made himself comfortable on Sunghoon's bed, eyes flitting over the cover of his script before letting out a sigh. "I'm not sure if I'm ready."
"You've been practicing for over a month, you'll be fine," Sunghoon deadpanned as she set the plastic bag on her table, settling back down in her chair to wake her laptop back up.
"Well...there's still one part I haven't went over yet." Sunghoon's jaw clenched. She had a pretty good idea of exactly which part Heeseung was talking about.
"Y-you have to kiss her?" Sunghoon promptly burst out laughing at the sheer incredulity of it. Lee Heeseung, kissing a girl. A mind-boggling notion. "The only girl you've ever interacted with in your whole 21 years of living is me. Are you sure you'll be fit for the main part?"
Heeseung snatched the script from her hands, face flushed as he stuck his nose confidently up in the air. "O-of course! I-I'll just practice."
Sunghoon snorted. "Good luck with that."
Things would be so much easier if she hadn't known about the kiss.
After all the good laughs and fitful bouts of teasing had died down, she found herself occupied with the thought a bit too many times for comfort. At first it was concern. There was no way that awkward chump of her friend would be able to pull it off with anyone, much less the female lead. It was ridiculous!
She was rolling over to her side on her bed when an invasive thought popped in her mind. I wonder what it would feel like to kiss Heeseung.
She had rubbed her face raw with ice cold water after that, coming out the bathroom with red cheeks and a hazy revelation taking root in the darkest depths of her heart. What the hell?
Where the fuck did that thought come from?
She had ran over the lines with Heeseung for weeks on end without much thought. The scene was always skipped over, the mutual understanding that they would somehow get to that part sometime in the future wordlessly dawning over them. Day after day, the same routine. "It's just a simple kiss," Heeseung had defended hastily when Sunghoon decided to bring it up during their lunch break. "I'll just find a way to practice with her when the time comes."
Her. Why did the idea of Heeseung kissing another girl suddenly irritate Sunghoon so much? Her friend could kiss whoever the hell he wanted. It shouldn't matter to her.
It shouldn't, but it did.
The thought came back stronger than ever, even after Heeseung had left the cafeteria. I want to know what it feels like to kiss Heeseung.
The tension snapped on the tenth day. "What are you going to do, Heeseung?" The older glanced up from the script with wide eyes. "What?"
Sunghoon rolled her eyes, annoyance straining in her movements. "You can't just keep skipping this one scene over because you're too much of a chicken to play it through." Heeseung looked bewildered. "I--well...what do you suggest I do, then?"
"Let's run it over." The words were out before Sunghoon could regret them, feeling her nails forming small crescent-like grooves over the palms of her hands as she attempted to ground herself. "Just once. So you won't look like a wimp in front of everyone when the time comes."
Heeseung was silent for a moment, and the raven-haired girl had to look up to find some sort of reaction from the older. Heeseung was open-mouthed, eyes rapidly blinking as the faintest tint of pink dusted across his cheekbones. "U-us?"
"Yes, you idiot," Sunghoon hissed, hands closing around the hem of her skirt as she grabbed the script from Heeseung's fallen hands. "We'll just go over the lines from that scene. Okay?"
"O-okay," Heeseung whispered. "Okay. We can do that."
Just this once, Sunghoon reminded herself silently as she swallowed nervously, eyes skimming over the foreign page, newly strung words falling from her lips when she looked at Heeseung.
It was so easy to get lost in her part.
"I must confess, the thought of you occupies my mind more often than not. Not a day goes by without the piercing image of happiness on your face warming my aching heart. Even if you love another, I doubt any soul will love you more than I."
"You--you love me?" Heeseung's voice shook with every syllable. It took a few seconds for Sunghoon to register that the realness of those words only came from how immersed the older was in his character. "Annabeth, do you love me?" He prompted, nudging the script towards the younger, but she didn't notice.
"I do," She whispered, head drawing blanks as she lost herself in Heeseung's painstakingly soft doe eyes. "Heeseung, I love you."
Fuck.
"Sorry, I--that was an accident!" Sunghoon's brain was short-circuiting, the shameful realization of what she just said presenting a pinkening flare on her face. "It was an accident. Sorry."
"T-that's okay," Heeseung breathlessly replied, hands shaking as he reached to turn the page over.
"I don't know what came over me," Sunghoon rambled on, Heeseung's words flying over her head as she relentlessly cursed herself. You had one job. One job, and you fucked it up. "I--I won't do that again."
"Sunghoon, it's fine." Heeseung's voice was terribly soft, so much that Sunghoon hated it. She hated how he wasn't making a big deal out of it, opting to forgive her with that big damn heart of his. "U-um, wanna take 5?" The older suggested, palms rubbing over his grey school pants, eyes steadfast on her chestnut brown bedside table.
She had made him uncomfortable.
"Sure." Sunghoon numbly stood, knees wobbly as she excused herself to stumble into her bathroom, shutting the door quietly before her hands reached up to grip her hair tightly. Fuck. She had messed up big time.
Why did she say that? Why did she say his name? Any name but his would have been fine. But it just had to be his.
The worst thing was that the bitter feeling still wouldn't subside. The hopeless, pathetic want to kiss Heeseung, to feel herself crumble at the sensation of his lips on hers, still haunted her. No drastic measure she took could ever extinguish that.
She was pathetic. Pathetic and gone.
The memory struck her at the worst possible time.
"Sunghoon." Heeseung's voice was almost inaudible, even in the still quietude of the younger's room. The savoury smell of tteokbokki filled the air. Sunghoon didn't want to answer. Trepidation lodged itself in her throat, a miserable lump that wouldn't give way no matter how hard she tried to clear it.
"Sunghoon, look at me." Somehow that was even harder to accomplish. The silver-haired girl swiveled around to sit sideways on her chair. Her eyes followed the wooden planks of her bedroom floor. She nervously smoothed over her skirt, legs shaky underneath grey, plaited fabric. No matter what, her skirt would have to single-handedly be the highlight of her night in case things went south.
She hoped things wouldn't go south.
"Sunghoon." Heeseung's voice was coaxing now, a slight lilt to her name that urged Sunghoon to lift her head in response.
So she did, and immediately regretted ever meeting Heeseung's torturous, gentle gaze. "Why are you so quiet today?"
Why was she so quiet today? If you told Sunghoon a month ago that she would one day find herself a silent, jittery mess in front of him, she would have told you off for the sheer absurdity of it.
"I-I dunno, nothing to say," Sunghoon found herself mumbling instead, fingers tremoring as she flattened a single strand of silvery hair behind her ears. Heeseung made a noise of amusement. "I called your name twice already, Hoon." Her lips pursed with the nickname. "You're quite distant as well." A pause. Then, "Was it something I said?"
Sunghoon looked up with startled eyes, finding Heeseung's doe eyes round and worried as he hugged his knees tightly. "Or something I did?"
"N-no!" Sunghoon yelped, head shaking as her gaze frantically darted around the room. "It's not you." It was never you.
Heeseung sat straight, legs stretching out in front of him as he patted Sunghoon's mattress lightly. "Then come over here, you dummy. I have to rehearse my lines, anyway."
Her feet were glued to the floor. She couldn't even trust her legs to function properly.
Heeseung's smile was unwavering. "You don't even have to play any part. I just need some company." The innocence of his words almost fooled Sunghoon, but the look in his eyes betrayed every indication of her worst fears.
He was thinking about that day as he spoke, and he will never let it go. They will never let it go as long as they lived.
"What other company do you need? I'm right here." Her voice was strong, but even she was sure Heeseung could detect the shakiness in her words. It was inevitably humiliating, the way the older could read her like an open book after all the years they've spent together.
"You're so far away." Heeseung pouted, and another baneful crack tore a straight line down her heart. "Come closer."
"O-okay," Sunghoon whispered, breath hitching as she stood up. Her knee cracked painfully from the quick movement, but she didn't care. Her slippers conveniently caught on the single dent that decorated her floor, but she didn't care. Her skirt, the sole highlight of her night, crumpled when she sat on the edge of her bed, but she still didn't care.
Not anymore, when Heeseung was this much closer to her, eyes glittering under the dim light of the lamp on her bedside table.
This position was achingly familiar.
Heeseung's face gleamed before opening his script to the first page. "Isn't this so much better?"
Sunghoon didn't answer. "I'll start, okay? You can just listen." She made a small noise, a breathy cough. Heeseung looked over with expectant eyes. "It's okay," She whispered. "We can practice together."
The older's lips curved warmly. "Thanks, Hoon."
Sunghoon wished their words could be suspended in the air as long as possible.
Page after page, she found her heart palpitating wildly as the nagging memory made another shameful round in her mind. This time, she would remember not to say his name.
Her eyes skimmed over the familiar line of words again, and her chest grew taut.
Here goes nothing.
"I must confess, the thought of you occupies my mind more often than not. Not a day goes by without the piercing image of happiness on your face warming my aching heart." Sunghoon's eyes glistened at the familiarity of these words. Since when did they start meaning so much to her?
"Even if you love another, I doubt any soul will love you more than I." Fuck, why was her voice so shaky?
"You--you love me?" Heeseung was looking at her in that same, soft gaze of his, tender eyes burning into her face.
"I do." Sunghoon willed herself not to look away. "I love you." She willed herself not to let her feelings bleed out with those three words.
Heeseung's face looked pained, something that surprised her even as she sat there, script clutched tightly between her fingers. Had she said something wrong?
"Heeseung--" She couldn't breathe.
It happened all at once; Heeseung's warm fingertips grazing against her cheek, the sweet waft of his perfume filling her nose, the soft flesh of his lips pressing against hers.
Heeseung was kissing her.
Sunghoon felt the last straining threads of her heart tugging relentlessly, trying to close up the dam that barricaded her emotions. But when Heeseung pulled her in closer, fingers tangled in her silver-streaked locks, that dam flooded.
Kissing Lee Heeseung tethered her back to reality, the feeling of fondness she longed for, the feeling she never knew she missed. Slowly, hesitantly, her fingers feeled for the soft fabric of Heeseung's shirt, clutching tightly in an attempt to fasten herself to this moment, eyes fluttering closed as she focused on mind-numbing sensation of Heeseung's thumb massaging the pale skin of her temple.
It felt like ages before he pulled away, a shuddering breath fanning over her pinkened lips as their eyes met, tentative and timid and nothing short of anxious. Is this okay? Are you okay?
"Y-you taste sweet," Sunghoon blurted, cheeks flushing at the bluntness of her words. "L-like cherries."
Heeseung looked taken aback by her words before his lips twitched, and he let out a soft laugh. "I think it's my chapstick." His thumb was still moving, trailing down to stroke her cheek tenderly. "I bought it yesterday."
"I like it," The blonde-haired girl breathed out, shifting forward to press another kiss to Heeseung's lips. "I like it a lot."
"Yeah?" Heeseung's hand moved to cradle her head delicately, the bold action sending a wave of butterflies straight to Sunghoon's heart as she threaded her arms around the older's neck, quietly climbing into his lap.
"I like you too." Her whisper was a mumble against his lips, the confession dragging along glistening skin before Heeseung pulled away to stare at Sunghoon. "You do?"
She nodded, a self-conscious feeling scratching at her chest as she looked away, unable to face the actuality of her words. It was only when Heeseung's hand lightly pressed against her cheek did her gaze flit over to meet his excruciatingly lovestruck eyes, sparks igniting her chest from the utter happiness on his features.
"Me too. I like you, Sunghoon. So much." Heeseung's voice thrummed lowly in her ears, lips pressing softly onto the corner of her mouth before slotting against hers with renewed affection.
Sunghoon let herself melt against the older, fingers carding over pink hair before closing in a light tug. Heeseung's hands slid down her sides, pressing into the small of her back as the other massaged her hip in tantalizing circles.
The dizzying fondness of it all made Sunghoon want to cry. Burst into ugly tears, sob and whine and hit the older's chest and curse herself for being so stupid with her feelings.
She let out a soft gasp when Heeseung bent them over, her back softly hitting the mattress with a thump. A harsh rustle of papers sounded above her, and she turned only to find the script, in its innocent state, a crumpled mess on the floor.
She turned back to Heeseung, loving amusement clear in her gaze as she brushed a finger across his cheek, tracing over softened features. "That play of yours saved me, you know."
Heeseung raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" Sunghoon grinned, tugging Heeseung closer to her as she spoke. "I realized that my ego wouldn't let me see you kissing anyone else before me."
A look of delighted shock crossed Heeseung's face, cheeks dusting pink as his laughter tickled Sunghoon's goosebumped skin. "I guess I made the right decision, then." It was Sunghoon's turn to give the older a look of confusion when Heeseung thumbed over her lower lip.
"What do you mean?" Her lips tingled against the warm flesh of Heeseung's thumb. The older flashed his gleaming canines down at her. "What? I thought you were a smart girl." Sunghoon flushed pink, a scowl replacing her suspenseful features as she placed her palms over Heeseung's chest in an attempt to push him off. "I'm not smart, you're just too dumb."
"Hey!" Heeseung grabbed Sunghoon's wrists, easily pinning them against the bed as the he threw her a furtive look. "I put a lot of effort into planning this." Sunghoon rolled her eyes. "Planning what?"
Heeseung pursed his lips impatiently. "C'mon. Rehearsing with you? Enacting the inevitable kiss scene? Actually kissing you?"
She was silent. Heeseung's smile widened the slightest. "I was actually ready to do it last time, when you offered. Would have probably confessed as well. You just threw me off when you made that little improvisation of yours." She couldn't help the splutter that caught in her throat. "F-for the last time, that w-was a mistake! A slip of the tongue, you--!" She got cut off again when Heeseung dipped down to press his lips against hers.
"All right, all right," Heeseung laughed airily, breath dancing over Sunghoon's pink lips. "I got it. I'm the bad guy who hypnotized you into saying my name--" Sunghoon yanked the older back down for a bruising kiss, promptly shutting him up. "You talk too much," She grumbled against smiling lips.
"Would you rather us kiss instead?" Heeseung mouthed along Sunghoon's flushed cheeks, leaving peppery kisses down her jaw. "Cocky too," Sunghoon added, breath hitching when the older blew into her ear.
"I'm waiting for an answer, Hoon." Heeseung pulled away to calmly stare at the blonde-haired girl, mouth twitching in eagerness. "Can I kiss you?"
A fervent blush dusted over her cheekbones as she gazed back, fingers closing around Heeseung's collar before drawing the older close. "Please."
.
.
"The tteokbokki must be cold now." Sunghoon hummed in subdued acknowledgement, fingers tracing over Heeseung's palm in subconscious lines and shapes. "I wasn't lying when I said I bought you sausages."
The blonde-haired girl smiled against the older's chest. "Such a gentleman," She teased as she let his fingers thread between hers in a soft handhold. The air settled into comfortable silence, Sunghoon nestled into Heeseung's side as they sprawled out onto her mattress.
There was still a nagging thought that drummed against the back of her mind repeatedly, rendering her helpless to the burning curiosity. "Heeseung--what would you have done that day if I told you I didn't feel the same way?"
The arm around her figure tightened. "Well," Heeseung started, rolling over to pull Sunghoon into a firm hug. "For starters, my ego wouldn't allow me to let you go that easily." The older laughed. "I would probably have gotten on my knees...begged you for a chance...maybe then I'd find another way to get you to fall in love with me..." Heeseung pressed a kiss to Sunghoon's hair. "I'm quite persistent with what I want, you know."
What I want. Sunghoon found herself sleepily smiling at the thought of being what the older wanted. Then a wave of guilt washed over her as she thought back to her own behaviour. All this time she was trying to bottle her feelings up when Heeseung was trying to let them all out. How stupid of her.
"Would you have refused me, though?" She almost missed the question.
Gently loosening Heeseung's hold around her, she wriggled upwards until she could clearly see the older, whose wide inquisitive gaze met her's, mellow and raw with endearment.
"No," She whispered, smile tugging at her lips. "I wouldn't have." And Heeseung smiled with her, arms tightening to press the younger close to him. "Good," She heard him whisper along the shell of her ear. "Because I don't know what I'd do if I lose you."
Sunghoon felt herself teetering along the edges of unconsciousness, Heeseung's quiet murmurs the last thing circling her mind as her fingers found purchase in the older's shirt. "You won't lose me." She felt the older comb through her silver locks with delicate fingers. "I'll make sure of it." The dam had finally closed, her hand in Heeseung's and her heart with his, and she couldn't have wanted it any other way.