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1995
Reggie also had a crush on Luke for years, and he’s not sure how to deal with it or what to do about it. There is not really anything to do. He tries his best to hide it and not raise his hopes too much. Even with all his attempts to protect his heart, Crooked Teeth breaks it. He already knew he would never stand a chance. But this hurt. Hearing Luke singing his love about someone, it hurts. And Luke didn’t tell him who they were. Doesn’t he trust him? Reggie has no idea. But it hurts. He tries to protect himself even more after that. So, he becomes a little distant.
His father doesn’t help. Not that his father ever helped him. He’s not really the best parent. But he thinks he might be right at some point. He must be a burden and a failure. Nobody will ever love him. He’s not good enough and will never be. He doesn’t deserve love. But it hurts to know Luke has a crush on someone else. Maybe Alex or some random person at school.
Reggie watches, trying to know who’s the lucky one, expecting to see Luke dancing around someone. But he doesn’t. Instead, Luke comes to him, looking just worried about him. And something is weird, something changes. And Reggie is afraid, for a second, Luke knows. Reggie doesn’t want to hope, he doesn’t want to get hurt more. He tries to keep everything locked. He smiles, a perfect mask to hide his feelings. But it’s helpless, because of course, Luke can read him. Like an open book.
“Reg, are you okay?” His face is full of concerns and Reggie knows he can’t lie to him. But he tries.
“Yes, good. I’m good. Just a little… tired…” He’s not sure how it sounds, and it somehow seems to worry Luke even more according to his face. Of course, Luke probably thinks about his father. Because he knows how he is. And Reggie isn’t sure if he’d rather have Luke believe that than the truth… “Don’t worry, I’m fine.” He tries to reassure him, this time sincere. Because he knows what Luke is thinking and he knows Luke understands what he implies.
“Okay.” Luke sighs but doesn’t stop. “What about us? Are we… Are we okay?” Luke hesitates and Reggie can see the hurt in his eyes. There is something he doesn’t recognize. He frowns, confused.
“Yes, why wouldn’t we?” Luke sits next to him, a little more relaxed, but still tense. There are only the two of them, alone, probably exactly what Luke wanted to talk to him.
“So, you’re not mad?” He looks carefully at his best friend who’s still lost in the conversation.
“No? Luke… What… I don’t understand.” He sighs and looks up with a twisted expression. He’s not really annoyed. He knows he can be dense and slow sometimes, and it’s already frustrating enough, but right now he feels like he’s missing a main piece and it’s worse. Luke stays silent for a moment, looking at Reggie, like he’s trying to find an answer.
“About Crooked Teeth.” Luke never sounded that unsure in his life before and Reggie freezes a little. Does Luke know? Does he try to apologize for not returning his feelings? He doesn’t say a word and swallows slowly. Luke talks again, faster, sounding a little more panicked. “I… You don’t have to say anything. I’m not asking you anything. I’m sorry, it’s ok, you don’t have to feel the same way. I shouldn’t have written this song.” He looks at him with pleading eyes. Reggie is frozen, just staring at Luke with wide eyes, as something clicked in his head. He still can’t talk, and Luke doesn’t seem to be able to stop. “I don’t want to lose you, Reg. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. I’m sorry…” And Reggie cuts him off.
“The song… Is it… Is it about me?” Luke just says so, but Reggie has big issues believing it. It’s too unreal to be true. Luke frowns, and shakes his head as he connects the dots.
“Who do you want it to be about? Of course, it’s about you!” Luke laughs disbelieved, but with the fondest smile on his face. Reggie swears he can melt just at that. But Luke just admits the song is about him. And it really sounds like a love song. He opens his mouth and nods very slowly, still unsure.
“I love you!” Reggie says quickly, not even realizing what he says until he hears himself. He goes to a deep shade of red, not sure if he completely messes up or not, but the second later, he feels Luke’s lips on his and he relaxes instantly. He kisses him back. Luke’s hand finds his neck, and his other arm ends up wrapped around his waist. He feels great, loved and cared for. He wraps his arms around Luke’s neck leaning closer as Luke squeezes him in his arms. The kiss is desperate at first, but turns into something more passionate as they kiss. When they break apart, Luke doesn’t move too much, staying closed.
“I love you too, dork!” He pecks his lips again and holds him closer. Reggie buries his face on his shoulder and hums his scent contently. He’s happy.
They start dating, and it’s everything Reggie ever dreamt of. Luke is so perfect. He always makes sure he’s ok. He always makes sure he feels good enough and loved. For once Reggie really wants to believe it. He wants to believe in what he has with Luke. Because he believes in Luke.
But then… They die…
2020
The dark room isn’t really a great place, but Reggie is still glad he’s stuck there with his best friends. He feels bad because Alex can’t stop crying. He has Luke by his side, but he still feels bad for Alex. Luke isn’t great at handling people crying, and Reggie isn’t sure what to do, as he’s already struggling with his own insecurities. And at least, they’re not alone.
Something like two hours later, there is a white light, and Reggie is a little afraid about it. He doesn’t want to lose his friends. But then, they’re back in their garage. They’re happy at first, but a girl frightens them, or actually surprise them. His first reflex is jumping into Luke’s arms.
But Julie, it’s her name, happens to be really nice. Reggie likes her. And she’s talented, she makes music too. And most importantly, she makes them visible. It can be all great, but his insecurities and doubts haunted him back as quickly as they went.
Reggie isn’t blind. He can be dense sometimes, but he’s not blind and he can see how Luke is looking at Julie and how she’s looking at him. They seem attracted to each other like magnets. They’re mesmerized by each other. They’re doing a great job together. Reggie is sure Luke is falling for her.
At first it was good. They keep working together and Luke still makes sure Reggie isn’t left out. He makes sure to steal kisses, glances… He keeps the sharing mic, looking into his eyes like he is his world. And Reggie kind of wants to believe in them. Still. Luke hasn’t broken up with him. There is a moment he even forgot about Julie, focusing on the feeling of having Luke. They haven’t told Julie yet, and Reggie wonders if Luke really wanted to tell her at all. But slowly, Luke spends more and more time with Julie and less with him. He works with her, and he can’t blame him. They work better together, he’s probably better without him. He even shares less and less singing parts with him, slowly singing more with her. And the way they look at each other: everybody can see it. It hurts. But Reggie just wants Luke to be happy. He keeps his mask, pretending to be ok, making sure Luke doesn’t notice.
They are only the three of them when they practice their new song: Edge of Great. Alex is upset because something happened with Willie. It’s not really his best performance, and Reggie tries his best to make him feel better. He tries something, even if he hurts himself while saying it.
“Sometimes a little fire can make things better on stage. Like you and Julie.” He says as he looks at Luke. His boyfriend. Luke frowns, confused. He’s probably a little hurt, but concerns reach his face.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He tries to play it cool, but he really suspects something.
“Everyone can see the way you look at her while you’re singing. You guys ooze chemistry.” And it hurts more than he expected. He really tries to keep smiling, but Luke knows him better. The worst is when Alex agrees with him.
“You should never say ooze again, but yeah. I agree.” And Luke gives him a dark glare. He has enough of their weird play.
“Look, I have chemistry with everybody that I sing with.” He puts his guitar down and starts singing right into Reggie’s eyes, coming closer and closer. Reggie’s heart skips a bit, because he knows he’s singing to him with all the sincerity and feelings he has. As soon as he finishes, he leans on Reggie and gives him a sweet kiss. Alex breaks the spell after that.
“I call it cheating. Reggie doesn’t count.” He smirks fondly at them. Luke laughs it off and looks back right into Reggie's eyes, this time with more concern. Because Reggie has this sad gleam in the eyes, the one that breaks Luke’s heart.
“I love you.” He says as a promise. Reggie nods and whispers “I love you too” back at him. Luke gives him one last peck on the lips and they go back to practice, but this conversation isn’t really over. Luke keeps glancing in his way the whole time, worried.
Indeed, Reggie doesn’t feel great. But so far, he feels like he can deal with it. He knows deep down he’s just paranoid. But a part of him really just wants Luke to be happy even if it’s not with him. But Luke knows something is wrong, and as soon as he has an opportunity, he traps him, to talk to him.
“Reg, I think we should talk.” And Reggie’s heart skips a beat again. He doesn’t want to talk. He doesn’t want to know. He doesn’t want Luke to break up with him. He keeps the panic inside his chest and gives Luke a unsure smile. Luke guides them on the couch and sits close to him. Reggie is shaking a little, and he doesn’t notice it until Luke takes his hand in his and squeezes it in a comforting motion. He catches his eyes and gives him a reassuring smile. Reggie already feels a little better and squeezes Luke’s hand back. He smiles shyly, but the fondness in Luke’s eyes makes him want to believe again. Luke sighs and begins by engulfing him in a warm hug. Reggie lets himself go in the embrace and relaxes in his boyfriend’s arms. He’ll be alright. He feels Luke’s hand rubbing his back and it’s when he realizes he is crying. Silence tears are running down his cheeks, and he feels like he needs it. “Let it go. It’s ok. Everything's gonna be ok. I’m here Reg. I love you.” It warms up his heart. Luke always knows what to say. He’s always here for him. He knows him better. Better than himself. Luke kisses his temple and once Reggie calms down: he realizes he’s on Luke’s lap. He has no idea how he ends up like that but he’s not complaining. Luke is playing with his hair and he’s still holding him, like he’s his most precious belonging. And sometimes, he likes to believe he is.
But this dream ends too quickly. Reggie can’t help feeling worthless. Once again, he hears his father’s voice. And he wonders if he were right. Maybe he doesn’t deserve Luke, he probably never has. Luke is just too nice. And Reggie is interfering. Because how can he be good enough? Julie is perfect. Why would Luke choose him over her? It’s stupid.
But this time, he makes sure Luke doesn’t see his distress. And he doesn’t. Luke spends even more time writing with Julie. Luke has always been focused on music. But this time, Reggie thought there was more. He used to be the one Luke wrote with. If he was blind back then, now he sees how things are.
And Luke doesn’t realize what he’s doing. A few weeks ago, he saw his boyfriend in distress at a practice. Now they’re on stage, performing that song. And he doesn’t share a single moment with him. He just sings into Julie’s eyes, like nothing happened. And Reggie knows what Julie is feeling. He can’t blame her. He feels the same way for Luke. It’s too easy to fall for him. She’s nice. She doesn’t know. How could she?
A few days later, Luke writes a new song. It’s a love song. It’s beautiful. But it’s not for him. Or Reggie thinks so. And apparently, Julie thought so too. Because Julie writes an answer to this song. And Reggie’s heart breaks. He suspects it, but now it’s real. And Luke doesn’t say a word about this song. It's a beautiful answer. Reggie just hopes they’ll be happy, even if it feels worse than dying.
The next day, Alex catches Luke alone in the garage. He seems mad at him. And Luke doesn’t understand why.
“Luke, what the hell are you doing?!” Luke frowns, having no idea what Alex is talking about.
“Writing?” Alex rolls his eyes.
“Not that you dumbass! I’m talking about Reggie.” Luke sits up and let's go his journal, now more concerned by the conversation. “Don’t you realized what you’ve done?”
“I… wrote him a song?” He asks, still confused.
“Maybe you should actually tell him it was for him.”
“For whom could it be Alex? Isn’t it obvious?” He stands up, exasperated. Of course, this song was for Reggie. They’re dating. He loves him. He’s worried about him, so he wrote a song because it’s easier for him to say things that way. There is now way it was for someone else.
“I don’t know, maybe Julie?” Alex finally says firmly. He knows for whom the song is. But he also knows neither Julie or Reggie gets it. Luke’s eyes widened, disbelieved.
“Seriously? Why would-“ Alex cuts him right here.
“She wrote you an answer Luke. She wrote you an answer and Reggie isn’t right at all. Haven’t you seen him? Or were you too busy making music?” Alex is angry at him. And he’s right. He’s just worried for them. All of them. But mostly for Reggie. And Luke stares at him before looking down. The realization hits him now. He was so focused on Reggie he didn't realize about Julie. How could he help Reggie if he has no idea what’s going on? He’s ashamed. And he hates himself right now. He hurts people he cares about, and most importantly: he hurts Reggie. He hurted him and didn’t do anything. He just makes things worse. But now he’s determined to fix it. He has to. For Reggie. But also for Julie.
He really wants to talk to Reggie. He really does but things don’t go as planned. They book the Orpheum, so everything goes wild. Reggie doesn’t feel good about the cross over part. He doesn’t want to lose them after that. And none of them want to. But there is no way he could cross over before making up with Reggie. He’s too important for him. He was about to tell him, but Caleb showed up and before they know it, they’re trapped in the Hollywood Ghost Club again.
The offer is tempting. But there is no way they will accept it. Reggie considers it. He really considers it, but what the point of being here if it’s not with Luke? What’s the point of staying or crossing over without his friend by his side? He’d rather disappear. When Alex leaves the stage, leaving the two of them, Reggie really thought Luke would leave. But Luke doesn’t. Whenever he glances at him, Luke gives him a concerned and worried look. He’s waiting. He’s waiting for him. He’s making sure he’ll leave. For a second, Reggie considers staying, because it would mean having Luke for him again. But he wants him to be happy. He knows he won’t be here. And he won’t be either. Not really. He manages to break free, and joins Alex and Julie at the Orpheum. But Luke doesn’t show up. Reggie worries, he worries and feels guilty, but then, he’s here. Reggie smiles, relieved. Luke made it.
The show is great, everyone loves them. It’s a dream coming true. But they don’t cross over. They end up back in the garage, having nowhere else to go. And if they have to die again, they’d rather die here. As soon as they puff into the garage, Reggie feels two strong arms around him. Luke has him. Again. He’s here. But it’s too late for believing. They collapse on the floor because they’re too weak, but Luke doesn’t let him go.
“I’m sorry Reg…” Luke is crying, they’re all. But he really doesn’t know why. He frowns. “I’m sorry for making you think, even if it’s for a second, that I can love someone else.” He pauses. “The song was for you.” He whispers and squeezes him. Reggie cries more, but he knows why this time. He feels sick and weak, but he’s happier. “I know how insecure you are… I didn’t do a great job at making you feel better… But I promise you deserve the world, Reggie. You’ll always be my first choice. And there is no one else I wanted to spend my last moment with but you.” Reggie snuggles into Luke’s arms. It’s weird how feelings can be. He feels warm and loves, but also sad and stupid. It’s their last moment, but at least they are together. And Luke loves him. He really does. And he’s just an idiot, but Luke can read his mind. “You’re not stupid for feeling like that. It’s okay.” Luke knows him better. He also knows it’s not his fault. He saw his father. He didn’t grow up in the best environment, and according to that, he’s doing great. He understands, and if Julie wrote him an answer to his song, then Reggie’s feelings are even more legit, even if they are anyway.
Julie enters, they’re hiding, not wanting to burden her with that. Luke strikes Reggie’s hair quietly as she speaks. He’ll never have a chance to explain himself to her. But Reggie is Reggie, and now his insecurities are gone, he can’t help himself.
“You’re welcome…” And Julie knows they haven’t crossed over. She begs them to come back to Caleb, not wanting to lose them like that. But they refuse. There is no way they’re coming back. Luke stands up and approaches Julie. He glances once at Reggie, just to make sure he’s ok. He wants him back in his arms, but he has one last thing to do.
“No music is worth making Julie if we're not making it with you. No regrets.” He was about to add something, but Julie jumps in his arms. And he can feel her. He’s solid to her. It’s weird, he’s glowing, but he doesn’t feel as weak as before. But for a second panic runs through his body and he looks back to Reggie and Alex. Reggie's eyes are still red but Luke swears he’s crying more than before. He needs to hug him so badly. But Julie calls them and both of them come for a group hug. Luke’s hand finds Reggie’s waist and he squeezes him. He hugs Alex too. He loves him as a friend. He’s really important to him. But he remembers Reggie’s face, his insecurities, everything. He’s the love of his life, so he holds him. He wants him to know how much he means to him. And they’re all glowing. The stamp faded away.
“I think the band is back.” And it’s too much for Luke. He just kisses his goofball of boyfriend right here. In front of Julie, without caring. He almost loses him. He’s so happy they’re ok. All of them. But there is no way he’ll let Reggie feel unloved again. He is more than good enough. He’s perfect. They break apart and Reggie has this smile on his face. The one Luke loves seeing. The one he has when he’s truly happy, with no mask. But his eyes widen and he looks at Julie, worried. Luke laughs a little at his reaction and brings him closer in a warm protective hug and turns to Julie.
“He is my boyfriend!” He announces proudly. She seems a little shocked at first but quickly shakes her head.
“Guys! You should have told me!” She seems hesitant at first but gives them a fond smile. “I’m happy for you.” And Reggie’s heart melts again. Because everything is okay now. He can allow himself to be happy too. And Luke will make sure he will be.