Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

When Buck left home in the hopes of running away to LA with his sister to achieve his dreams of becoming an artist, he never would have thought it would land him here. Working at a bar just outside of Las Vegas, almost four months pregnant and failing in life. But of course, as his luck would have it , here he was. Thanks to himself and one of his many, many, spectacular ideas. Nope in fact, scratch spectacular. It had been a pretty fucking stupid idea to take a gap year after a particularly hard assignment he'd failed. Maddie had been nothing but supportive obviously and sent him on his way with only love and support. She had been doing really well without his burden by the sounds of things! She'd finally met the perfect guy and fallen in love! That was the reason why he couldn't bring himself to tell her just how rough he was finding things. Because It was rough, it was more than rough in fact. It was torture. Being twenty three , only half way through a gap year in college and pregnant wasn't exactly the best of situations was it? The pregnancy had been an unexpected one to say the least, a typical one night stand gone wrong. It was a shame really, the guy had been nice, hot too. Buck was planning on heading back to LA as soon as possible to finalise some form of adoption. It just didn't feel right to keep the baby when he could barely afford to look after himself. And in all honesty? He felt as though he'd be the worst parent ever and just continuously let them down. He did love them though, this was his baby and he wanted nothing but the best for them. Even if that meant giving them away.

"You okay Buckley?" His boss, Ron asked, watching as the younger man snapped out of his daze. "You look a little out of it."

"I-I guess, just thinking about what the hell I'm gonna do once I finally suck it up and head back to LA tomorrow.” Buck sighed. "I was supposed to go back after a year , not six months and I was also supposed to be going back alone."

"You are going back alone.. aren't you?" Ron frowned in confusion.

"Not exactly, precious cargo on board remember?" The younger man smirked, gesturing towards his small bump. "They go where I go."

"It's easy to forget they're there if I'm being honest kid. You don't exactly act as though you're pregnant." 

"And how exactly does one act , when pregnant Ronald?" 

Ron paused at that, before shrugging his shoulders in response. "I don't know, most of the pregnant people I've known always use it as an excuse to be lazy and mope around all day. You however, you don't do that. You're quite the opposite."

"I don't have time to be lazy boss man! I have to make enough cash to rent a room at a motel for a few months. LA isn't exactly cheap and cheerful!" Buck stated, washing down the bar with his cloth. 

"Why don't you just stay with your sister Buckley? She's going to find out about the kid one way or another. I'm honestly shocked she hasn't came down her yet. The phone calls you guys have are always full of some pretty heavy shit." The older man tutted.

"She'll just try and convince me to keep them and she will most likely win. I really want this baby Ron , truly I do. But you and I both know I can't do this alone. Not when I plan on finishing my degree by the end of next year." He replied. 

"You do realise you can raise a kid and still have an education right? You'll get that art degree just fine! Hell! The baby would probably appreciate the fact that you'd focused on getting a good career. That you did it all for them just so they could have the best life they could possibly have!."

"I'll keep that in mind, But don’t forget I am also changing my degree from art and design to early childhood education." 

"Even still, you could do it all. Baby or no baby."

"Maybe so, but it would definitely take me longer than a year to complete." Buck sighed, his mind was always weighing out his options.

Although nothing was set in stone just yet, that's why he needed to get to LA and figure out a plan. He just knew that right now adoption seemed like the only way both himself and his baby could get what they needed in life. Buck wouldn't be able to spend anytime with them if he was always studying for exams and his baby would no doubt suffer because of it. He wouldn't allow his baby to feel invisible, not the way he did growing up. It wasn't fair. 

"Well if worst comes to worst kiddo, you're always welcome back here. You know that." Ron soothed.

"Yeah I do, thanks Ron."

"Anytime! Now you finish up here and you're free to go! Make sure you say your goodbyes tomorrow before you head off."

Buck smiled. "Of course I will, you're my first stop after I get the ridiculous pile of pregnancy notes from my doctor." 

"See you then."

It was around eleven thirty, by the time he finally arrived back at his place. It wasn't what it used to be anymore. Now it was more of a room full of boxes and suitcases . Just the look of the place made him depressed. This was not how he planned on leaving. He had hoped on leaving when he had met someone and was finally ready to settle and begin his new life. But no, he just had to get pregnant and fuck it all up. ‘Do a Buck’ as all of his friends would say. 

"M' sorry I dragged you into this mess baby." He whispered to his bump. "I'm sorry you got stuck with me. I promise if we don't get to stay together,  I'll do everything I can to find you the perfect parents okay? I won't let you down."

The flutters he felt almost immediately, made his heart melt with so much love and affection. Feeling so blessed to have the chance to carry a child, he knew that not many carriers succeeded so easily. "Who knows though huh? Maybe a miracle will happen and we can stay together yeah? I’d like that."

It was at that moment that his phone began to ring. A happy smile pulling across his features once more as he noticed his sisters name lighting up the screen.

"Hey Mads!"

"Hi little brother."

"What's up? Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just thought I would check in! How's the new cleaning job at the bar going?"

"It's good, good people, good music. Oh the pays really good too!”

”That’s great Evan!”

“Yeah it is.. Hey listen.  I - Erm- I actually have some more news for you to be completely honest. So I'm kinda of glad you called before I could pansy out of telling you it."

"And what kind of news is this exactly? Good or bad?" 

Buck sighed shakily. "I mean it's good news , it's just- I'm kind of looking into my options I guess you could say." 

"Evan, you're not moving there permanently right?"

"No, not at all, quite the opposite. I'm actually moving back to LA tomorrow."

"Really?! What?! Why?! Oh my god! I'm so- wait this is what you want right? I can be happy."

"It's a bit earlier than I had originally planned, but yeah.. it's what I want. It's what I need." He explained, hand rubbing over his bump as he sat.

"You have no idea how happy I am! I've been waiting months for you to finally meet Howie! We can throw you a welcome back party! His team are amazing Buck! There's this one guy- he's perfect for you! Just wait until-"

"Yeah, you might wanna hold off on the celebrations and match making though sis, there's more to this story." Buck interrupted.

"Why? Did you meet someone?! Who is he?! Is he nice? Is he treating you well?!"

"Nope, I didn't meet anyone. Well I mean I did, but it was just a one night stand sort of thing."

"Oh.. so what?"

"I'm pregnant Maddie." Buck whispered, Ron had been right, maybe if he told her, he'd be able to get through the adoption without feeling alone.

"Y-you? You're pregnant? You're having a baby?"  The shaken tone she used told Buck she was in pure shock of the current conversation.

"I am." He nodded, although he knew she couldn't seem him. "B-but I'm erm- I'm not sure I'm keeping them just yet."

"You're having an abortion? Evan are you sure-"

"Not an abortion Mads, I'd be giving them up for adoption.. that's why I'm coming back to LA. I'm really going to need you if all of this is finalised, I can't do it alone sis." Buck admitted.

"Oh wow, I - is that what you want? Have you official made up your mind on this." 

Buck couldn't hear any judgement coming through from her end and it made his heart melt. His sister was always the one person who would always stick by him no matter what. "Honestly , no. I wish I could keep them. I just - I want to get my degree Maddie. How am I supposed to do that whilst caring for a baby? It'd be different if I had someone to help me out but I don't."

"You could meet someone! Anything is possible Evan, if you want this baby, then have this baby and keep them! You can hear it in your voice just how badly you want this."  He knew Maddie would see right through him, it's exactly why he wanted to go back to LA in the first place.

"I don't know Maddie. But I don’t have to make any set decisions now. I still have time to decide I've only just hit the four month mark." 

"Well whatever you decide, do it because it's what your heart wants okay? Not because it's what your mind tells you is the logically way." 

"I love you Maddie, I'll be in LA by noon , I'll probably have lunch as soon as I get there so don't worry if you don't hear from me okay? I'll call you when I get the chance." 

"I'll be there to pick you up , I'll get Howie to make up the spare room for you." 

"You don't have to do that, I've saved up enough money for a motel don't worry."

"Absolutely not! You're staying with us! If keeping this baby is what you end up doing , then there is no way in hell I'm allowing them to spend their first few months on this earth in a dingy motel!"

Buck chuckled at the disbelief in his sisters voice. "You're not giving me a choice are you?"

"Nope! I'll see you tomorrow love you!"

She was gone before he even had the chance to protest, it was always her way in the end. Buck couldn't wait for her to wrap him up in one of those hugs that only she could give. A hug that felt like home, a hug that felt like the only thing he needed.

He was so close to having that hug and that thought alone was enough to have him racing through the rest of his packing. Settling down onto the makeshift mattress felt easier, just one more night of tossing and turning. Once he woke up he would be straight on the road for the four hour trip back to home. 

Buck knew pregnancy changed a lot of things , for one it had caused more than a few physical differences. But then there was also the new routine he had found himself resenting. Without fail he would be up and wide awake by five am and that, that was not fun. He's just not a morning person! Never had been , never will be. So when he heard that alarm go at six thirty and he had already been awake for two hours, he couldn't help but curse. 

"You better not be like this once you're born kid, I don't do early starts! If you end up staying with me, it better stop okay?"

Although it was pain in the ass, it was actually a blessing in disguise in a way. He'd be an hour ahead of schedule which meant more time for rest stops to ease his never ending toilet runs.  So with out any hesitation he was up and grabbing as many boxes as he could at time and heaving them down to his Jeep. His doctor would most likely go insane seeing him lift in this way, but he'd seen many pregnant people hitting the gym before now. A few light boxes was nothing compared to the ridiculous weights they'd lift for their monthly gains. 

All he had left to do once that was done was a quick trip to the doctors office to collect his notes and head on over to the bar to say his farewells. Ron and his wife, Harper where already waiting outside as he pulled up and the sight of them , both with arms full of presents and balloons filled him with feelings of bitter , sweet sadness. "You two didn't have to!"

"Of course we did honey! Gosh I'm going to miss you and our little bumpilious so much!" Harper exclaimed. "I'm envious of those in LA."

"They're lucky to be getting you back kiddo." Ron smiled, patting Buck on the back. "The presents are for both you and the little one. I know you said about the adoption being the main option right now, but it's something they can keep no matter what."

"I really appreciate it." Buck spoke tearfully, pulling the older man into a warm hug. "I'll be sure to come visit soon okay? Once the baby is here and all of that. I'll be right here to have my Pornstar Martini!" 

"The girliest drink to ever exist."

"Nothing wrong with that! Don't be so stereotypical Ron!" Harper scolded playfully. "I'll have it waiting for you, just give me a call."

"I will do, I'll miss you both." He replied, pulling her into a hug as Ron placed the presents and balloons in the back seat for him. "Take care of each other."

"Always." Ron assured, both of them stepping back as he jumped into the drivers seat once more. "Drive safely, precious cargo and all that yeah?"

"Of course! See you soon!" Buck called, beeping as he pulled away and waving through the window. The couple had been huge parts of his life here the past six months. He really did owe them for all of their support. Without them , he wouldn't have been able to find a place to live, the apartment he had found himself in actually belonged to Harpers sister who worked in real estate. He got lucky finding them.

It's just a shame luck hadn't been on his side during the whole one night stand thing. The only time his luck had let him down and now he's faced with a decision no one wants to have to make. It's all he thought about, day in, day out. Time just seemed to blur past him every time his mind wondered onto the subject of his baby. He'd think about what colour hair they'd have, what colour eyes, would they look like him? Would they look like their dad? Buck was grateful he actually remembered what the dad looked like. It's safe to say he was most definitely out of Buck's league and the kindest man he'd ever met. The poor guy had been on his way back home after what he said was a miserable visit to see his parents in Texas. They didn't really get too deep into the conversation before they did the deed. It seemed like he needed a release and who was Buck to stop him?The only thing he’s praying for is that the guy isn’t married, he'd never forgive himself if he is. However, the odds were definitely pointing more towards that being the case.

After their raunchy exchange the man had quite literally ran out of his apartment. Buck barely caught his name as he called out the question after him. So yeah, that's all he had , a name and a face that was slowly turning into a blur of memory. Sad really, but what could he do? It's not like he could go all over the states to find him and convince him to help out. One thing was for certain though, this baby was in luck with their gene pool and they were going to be absolutely perfect. As always , time blurred by and before he knew it the sign for welcome to  LA was well within site! He'd taken around six stops on the way , but he was still well ahead of schedule. He knew exactly where he was heading for lunch first and he was quick to pull up and text the person he was most excited to see.

Hey Mads, I'm here and I'm safe, I've got my Jeep so just text me where you're at and I will be  with you in about half an hour :)

You drove?! What the hell Evan! I thought you was flying in?!

I was four hours away Maddie, there was no need for me to take a flight. 

You're going to exhaust yourself! I'm at the 118 fire station! Bobby the captain is cooking get your ass here now! Or I'm coming for you!

"Uh oh, probably should have mentioned that I was driving last night huh? It makes so much more sense now that she offered to pick me up though." He said softly to the baby. "Oh well! Best get ourselves to aunt Maddie baby, she's gonna kill me otherwise. Don't worry though, she'll wait till you're born to do that. You’re definitely already overtaking me in the list of favourites!” 

The first thing he was met with as he arrived at the station was the blur of two engines and a ladder truck racing out of the garage. He barely had time to pull aside if he was being completely honest, it was as though he blinked and they was already half way down the street. Complete and utter madness, much like his life huh? Isn’t that funny. It was looking like he wasn't going to be meeting Howie and his team just yet. At least it gives him some time to eat. 

"Evan!" Maddie shrieked , running out of the building as soon as his feet hit the pavement. "Hi! Oh my god! Hi!" 

"Mads." He choked out, finally feeling that hug he had so desperately needed these past four months.

"Oh I've missed you so damn much." She sobbed into his shoulder. Both of them swaying with the intensity of their hug.

"I've missed you more, believe me." He whimpered, tears falling as he finally let all of his emotion bubble over. He'd blame the sobs on his hormones.

"Let me look at you!" 

She pushed him back slightly, eyes locking on the tiny bump covered by his white T-shirt. Her hands quickly placing themselves against the taunt, pale skin.

"It's still pretty small right now, but the baby is a good size and their as healthy as can be." Buck spoke proudly. 

"It's perfect, oh it's so cute Evan." Maddie cried softly. "Pregnancy suits you! Who would have thought huh?”

"You think so?" He chuckled fondly. "The extra weight isn't ruining my good looks?"

"Not at all, you look as dashing as ever." She replied with a smirk. "Now let's get you two inside, they just got called out, but we can eat without them."

"Are you sure they're okay with me being here?" He asked.

"Of course they are! You're my brother! Howie is dying to meet you and the team is amazing. In fact one of them is a single father and I'm pretty sure talking to him would help you with your decision!"

Buck looked to her in surprise. "Really? He's a single father and he's a fireman? Does he have good looks to add to that list of achievements?!"

"He most certainly does, not that I'd admit that to anyone but you." Maddie snorted. "He's so sweet as well, I actually told him about your situation and he said he said he completely gets where you're coming from and that he actually went through something pretty similar. But obviously he erm- kept his son."

"Yeah well, who knows, I'm willing to talk to anyone that can help so." Buck shrugged in response. "I appreciate you thinking of it though sis really."

"It's what I'm here for remember? It's always gonna be me and you against the world." 

"I know. Now how about a tour for your baby bro? It's a pretty cool place." 

Maddie nodded her head excitedly. "I was so intimidated when Howie brought me here for the first time. Everything's just so open and big."

"It's spacious, I'll give you that. Definitely couldn’t sneak a few sexy sessions in whilst you're here that's for sure." Buck whistled, eyes looking around the large gym area and over to the open locker room.

"Tell me about it, there is always the ambulance or the truck though." Maddie shrugged casually.

"Maddie! That's scandalous!" 

"Don't even try and deny that it's something you'd do yourself Evan Buckley. I know you far too well!” 

Buck could only giggle softly and continue on his slow walk around the large area. He found himself wandering up the staircase towards what seemed to be the kitchen and lounge area. It was nice, really nice. Buck could imagine how fun it must be to just sit and hang out with one another up here.

"It's really nice! Like fancy kinda nice! Sick! I can't wait to meet them all. Thank them for taking care of you whilst I've been gone. Six months is a long time for us to have been away from one another."

"It is, look what happens when we are away from each other and you haven't got me nagging you! You get pregnant two months into those six months!" Maddie stated, crossing her arms with a huff.

"Ouch, that's a little harsh Maddie. I'll have you know , even if you was there I would have still ended up pregnant! My birth control failed." He smirked, nudging her with his elbow. "If you want me to keep this baby you're gonna have to really stop with all of this negativity sis. It's not good for them."

"Do not try guilt tripping me!" She cried out, throwing a cushion towards him. "That's so not fair!"

"I'm kidding! I'm kidding!" He laughed, dodging the throw. "Nice aim though sis, pretty good."

"I hate you."

"No you love me and I love you. Lots and lots like jelly tots." Buck chuckled.

"Whatever, come and get some food will you." Maddie ordered, rolling her eyes at him.

"Sure, it's not anything fish related though right? My stomach can not handle the smell. Plus I'm not exactly allowed raw fish and things like that." 

"No it's lasagna don't worry! And it's absolutely delicious, Bobby is a damn good cook." 

Buck smiled , making his way over to the table and happily accepting the plate his sister offered to him. "Well it smells amazing."

"Took in! If you finish before they're here you can just pretend you haven't had any and get extra!" She informed him.

"Oh really? is that something you do is it?" He howled with laughter.

"I'll never tell Evan, I'll never tell."

If he was being honest Buck didn't actually expect them to finish before the team arrived back and yet here they where. Maddie had been quick to clear up his dish for him and place it back in the cupboard. The sound of the trucks pulling in causing her to huff. "Looks like you're the only one getting extra!"

"You snooze you lose." He snorted in amusement.

It didn't take long for the team to come running up the stairs, all of them looking pretty fresh considering they'd just been out on a call. Buck wasn't stupid , he knew that fires weren't the only thing that the team had to deal with. But he genuinely hadn't expected them to look so clean.

"Easy call?" Maddie chirped as they all gathered around them at the kitchen island.

"Just some idiot kids again, one of them got their head stuck in between two metal fence poles. I'll never understand how children think to do that." The woman responded first, she seemed to be the only woman in of this shift. But Buck was almost certain she wouldn't be the only woman in the house. "Hi! I'm Hen! I gather you're Maddie's little brother right? Chimney is so nervous to meet you."

"Erm- yeah hi! Sorry! It's really nice to meet you. Who's chimney?" Buck frowned in confusion.

"Oh! You know him as Howie, Chimney is just his preferred name, slash nickname." Hen explained.

"Right! Do I wanna know the reason behind it?"

"You do, but I'll leave it to him to explain! So , do you go by Evan as Maddie calls you or?" 

"N-no actually, most people call me Buck. Too many Evan's in my high school , the name just stuck."

Hen smiled at that, moving out of the way so the others in the room introduce themselves. So in the end Buck figured out that the B shift consisted of Hen, Lena , Ravi , Albert, Tommy , Chimney , John , Matthew , Ronnie , Jackson, Bobby the captain and apparently some other guy who they nicknamed Diaz, who was just making a quick call home in the locker room. 

"It's so nice to put a face to your name." Chimney smiled happily. "Not gonna lie, I thought you'd be a hell of a lot more intimidating."

"Well I mean, I usually am, but you can thank the pregnancy for mellowing me out." Buck smirked.

"You're pregnant? Oh wow! Congratulations." Lena exclaimed. "I didn't even notice."

"I am, not exactly sure what's gonna happen right now, still weighing out my options but thanks." He smiled sadly.

"Well whatever you settle on is what is meant to be  sweetie don't worry." Hen soothed.

"Have you gotten chance to eat? Maddie has by the looks of things." Bobby asked kindly.

"No he hasn't! He'd love some food wouldn't you Evan?" Maddie responded.

"Yes, that'd be great thanks." He told the captain gratefully. "Is there a seat that can not be taken? Do you all have designated places."

"Not at all, there's always space next to Eddie over there, so feel free to take that one!" Chimney chirped. "He'll be happy to meet you one on one."

"Okay great! Thankyou."

They all took their seats and before Buck knew it he was falling into conversation with Hen and Chimney from across the table about his future plans and what he would like to do after the baby was born.  "I really wanna be done with my degree as soon as possible. I'm gonna have to work hard, but I'll do it."

"I'm sure you will! You and Maddie are pretty similar and she managed to smash her 911 dispatch training in less than a week! I'm sure you can get your degree within the next two years bud." Chimney stated with a smile.

"I switched from medical to being a firefighter within a year, you can do anything if it's what you really want." Albert added in.

"That's true." Bobby nodded his agreement. "Who knows , a year from now you could change your mind again." 

"I suppose yeah, I just need to make a decision that's best for the baby too." Buck sighed.

Before anyone else could reply to him, footsteps finally made their way up the stairs causing them all to cheer sarcastically. 

"There you are! What the hell Diaz?! We have a guest!" Tommy exclaimed.

"I know, I know! I'm sorry okay? my abuela called to let me know that Shannon was back in town, I had to take it , it was important!" Buck heard the man defend as he finally reached the top of the stairs.

"Oh, that sucks man. Is she here to try and see Chris again?" Lena cringed. 

"Yep, but let's not talk about it right now, I need to introduce myself." 

The voice sounded so familiar to him, where the hell did he know that voice from. He was straining his head to try and see past Bobby's head and get a look at the man but it just wasn't working out.

"Right! Evan? This was the guy I was telling you about earlier on." Maddie started off happily as the man walked around the table. "This is-"

"Eddie?" Buck gasped.

"Yes that's m- oh shit." 

If the ground could have swallowed him up whole at this point , Buck would be more than grateful. This was THE guy, the one who was completely out of his league , the one who was far too kind, the one who was the father of his unborn child. Fuck his life.

"You two know each other?" Albert asked.

"S-something like that, right Eddie?" He stammered, blue eyes locking with brown.

"Right yeah, we erm- we know each other from my trip back to Texas the other month."  Eddie nodded, letting out a shaky breath. "I stopped off in the town just outside of Las Vegas. That's where Buck was working. We got friendly."

"Oh amazing! At least you'll be more comfortable talking about your situation now Evan! It's always nicer when you know the person." Maddie grinned.

Yes, yes it was nicer when you knew the person. But not when the person was the father of the said baby you want to speak about. "T-that's true... I guess."

"Erm- shall we eat then, I'll have a catch up with Buck another time! Let him enjoy the food!" The brown eyed man exclaimed, moving to sit next to Buck, avoiding his eyes at all cost.

"You can look at me you know.." Buck whispered once everyone turned to their food. "We don't have to talk about it yet."

"I-I - shit I don't even know." Eddie murmured. "This is so typical of my life, one problem after another. I can't catch a break."

"Problem? This is a problem for you ?" Buck asked, hand resting against his bump protectively.

"N-no not like that! I just- we can do this later right? I'm sorry I just- it's a lot even seeing you here." The older man told him sadly.

"Right yeah, just- I didn't know it was you okay? I don't want you thinking I did this on purpose."

"No I know that, it's okay. It'll be fine, we can talk it through. It's the best we can do right?"

"Absolutely."

The pair of them engaged in conversation with the others. Both of them glossing over how they met when asked and only speaking about the laughs they had at the bar throughout the day whilst Buck , who at the time was distracted by Eddie's intense sex appeal, attempted to work. 

"It's such a small world!" Lena stated, leaning back in her seat. "Like seriously who would have thought the guy you flirted with would turn out to be Maddie's brother , Diaz."

"We wasn't flirting!" Both of them said, the whole room bursting into hysterics at the pair.

"Right of course not." Hen replied, rolling her eyes fondly. "We believe you."

"I'm just gonna go the bathroom real quick." Buck excused, pushing out of his seat and rushing away to find where he was going. He'd never been more grateful for an open plan building before in his life.

"It's just around that corner." Eddie's voice spoke making him jump slightly as he approached him.

"Right, Thankyou."

"I'm not following you I swear, I erm- I actually do need to use the bathroom."

"Good thing I just used it as an excuse to escape then huh? Baby doesn't like me sitting for too long, back starts to really hurt and all the pestering isn't exactly helping the situation." He explained, watching as Eddie's lip pulled up slightly at the mention.

"My ex wife was the same, she barely sat still for more than a half hour at a time." 

"Maybe it's something to do with the babies you create then?" Buck stated, he wasn’t sure why, but he decided to be bold.

He seen the way Eddie froze just before opening the bathroom door and for a second he really thought the older man was about to turn and walk away.

"Definitely mine then?"

"Yep, I really hate to disappoint you man, but I'm not a slut.. At least not anymore."

"That's not what I meant, I'm just- I have a son , a son who has so many needs. The thought of having a newborn to help care for alongside that-"

"I'm thinking about adoption Eddie, Maddie told me she talked about it with you. You don't need to worry about stepping up and all that crap."

It felt awkward speaking about this whilst the other man was literally peeing meters away from him. 

"Yeah she did, but that's just an option Buck. I think once you meet this baby and hold them and take in all of their cuteness. There's no way you'll wanna do that. Trust me I've been there before." Eddie pressed. "Me and Shannon wasn't exactly happy at the time she got pregnant with Chris. At first she wanted an abortion , but I immediately disagreed and begged her to keep him. I told her that we'd be fine and that as soon as we could we'd get married and everything would fall into place. But then I realised we couldn't have a kid if there was no source of income. Before I knew it I was in the army and our relationship was in shambles.  It was after an argument we had about me coming home that she finally took the initiative and looked into adoption. For months I thought it was what I wanted, that maybe our son would be better off in a happy home , a home that was free from hate and anger. I really did, I even helped her look for a family! But in the end it just didn't feel right to me , I loved him too much to walk away without him. So  I took him in alone. She left and I've been a single parent ever since. She tries to pop in every now and again but she struggles a lot with her mental health. It's not been easy, but he's so worth it." 

"Eddie, look I get it. A parents love can defeat all. I love this baby more than anything in this world , trust me, I really do." Buck started shakily. "But I just- it's going to be hard for me to get my degree if I'm stuck at home alone all day with a newborn. At least you already had your training and qualifications by the time your son was born. I don't have that luxury. If I don't get my degree I'll become one of those parents who's always working two jobs and barely has anytime for their kid. I refuse to raise this baby if I don't have the time to show my love for them. They deserve to know how loved they are."

"I-I'd be there for them too, you wouldn't have to worry about them feeling alone Buck. Listen to me okay? just because the thought of this terrifies me, doesn't mean I wouldn't be there for you and our child. I ran out that morning and honestly, it's one of my biggest regrets. I was just freaking the hell out because nobody knew I was gay and I just- that night, I realised that it wasn't just a mistake or some experiment. It gave me the chance to be free and just accept that I was who I was. I owe you a lot for that, and this baby , our baby is just an added blessing into my new life." 

"Y-you wasn't out?" He breathed.

"Out of all of that, that's the part you're choosing the acknowledge?"

Buck cringed. "Sorry it's just, you was so confident and calm, I wouldn't have expected you to be in the closet , like at all."

"Yeah, well you made it easy for me to be comfortable." Eddie shrugged. "It was the first time in my life that I felt as though someone truly seen who I was. You didn't just sit and talk about how hot I was the whole time. You actually asked about my life, about why I was taking the trip. It was nice."

"It was really nice wasn't it? God I can't believe you work with my sisters boyfriend, what are the chances of that huh? I-I've spent the first few months of this pregnancy being devastated that I'd have to make this decision alone and now- now you're here and I feel like I can finally have what I wan- well what I want and need." 

"And what exactly do you want and need?"

"To keep my baby, to know that they have someone who can be there for them when I can't be. That's what I want. So - If you're okay with it, then I'd really like to sit down and talk this through properly sometime. We don't have to make a decision straight away, I know you have a lot going on with your son. But- yeah, I want to keep this baby, but only if you can promise to be there for them. I won't have them being stuck with only me Eddie." Buck replied.

"See you keep saying that, but Buck, you're an amazing person and I don't have single doubt in my mind that you'd be the most incredible father." The older man stated calmly.

"You don't know me well enough yet Eddie, you know what I want you to know. Remember that." He sighed. "I have a pretty shitty background. It's more enough to cause one a lot of self hatred."

"You shouldn't allow your past to define you Buck." 

"Oh I'm trying .. believe me."

———————————————————————————

Keeping his mouth shut over who the father of his baby is whilst his sister nagged on about it twenty , four , seven, was proving to be one of the most difficult things Buck had ever done. He just wanted to give Eddie some time! The poor guy had literally gone to work that morning a single father of one and left work that night a single father of one , plus a possible co-parent to another one. It's a lot to get your head around and Buck didn't want him rushing into any decisions. 

So he'd pushed on, battling through the past month and a half of Maddie's constant pestering. 

"Evan, come on, seriously! I know you're lying about not knowing who he is!" Maddie protested, handing him the plate of pancakes.

"I'm not! Maddie he literally came into the bar one night, we hooked up in the alley and that was it! All I know is that he was hot and tall." He groaned. "I've told you this over and over again for the past month, Mads! If I was lying I would have caved by now! You know I wouldn't-"

"Liar!" She gasped, flinging a strawberry at him before he could finish his sentence. I'm his defence he technically wasn't lying, he and Eddie did hook up in the alley for one round.. it's just there was a few more rounds after that. Oh and the fact that he did in fact get his name and knows exactly who he is. But it'll be fine! She'll get over it!

"Chim, come on man, help me out a little bit here! Stress is bad for me isn't it? Tell her! She can't be stressing me out about this all day, everyday!"

Chimney held his hands up in defence. "Nope, no way. I'm not getting on either one of your bad sides today, I have a long shift tomorrow and I wanna enjoy my day of freedom. Leave me out of it."

"You're a terrible boyfriend." Maddie frowned.

"Oh is that so? Guess you don't need me to cook later on tonight then huh? I'll just head over to Mr and Mrs Lee's instead, Or I'll go to Eddie's and have a few beers! He's always down for hanging out." 

Buck watched the exchange in pure amusement. He couldn't believe how much Chimney had managed to pull his sister out of her shell. Maddie had never been one to let her guard down so easily and yet around Chim she just seemed to .. melt. 

"I think not Howard Han, you've owed me a real home cooked meal for weeks now! You're not getting out of it that easily! Now if you don't mind I'm gonna go get ready and go grocery shopping!" Maddie smirked, pressing a firm kiss to both of their cheeks before rushing down the hall to their room.

"You not planning on going with her?" Chim asked, raising his mug to take a sip of his coffee.

"No, I have my first doctors visit with my new obstetrician. Not exactly the highlight of my day, having someone I barely know look at my most precious of areas. But I do get to have an ultrasound again!" Buck explained. "I can't wait to see how much they've grown since the last one."

"You're nearly six months now right?" 

"Yep! Officially two more weeks till I hit that milestone! Mads has been begging me to find out the gender and host a reveal."

Chim smiled softly at that. "She's really got her heart set on you keeping this little one , you know that?"

"I do, I'm still waiting for the answer to just appear in my mind. It's not easy , I love this kid so fucking much it scares me, but not as much as the thought of letting them down and being a shit parent does."

"Nobody goes into parenting knowing what to do buddy, if it helps , I think you'll be an amazing dad."

"Thankyou." He smiled gratefully, before heaving himself up onto his feet. "I have to go now though, I'll see you both later okay?"

"You will, see you man." Chimney nodded, squeezing his arm as he walked past. 

He had a quick stop to make before heading to the appointment. He didn't exactly know whether or not it would be worth the stop or not just yet. But he was planning on asking Eddie to join him and he had managed to get his address from Hen, so that's where he found himself heading as soon as he pulled away from Maddie's place. Buck wasn't exactly sure if Eddie would have Christopher or not, but he was more than happy to let him take the boy somewhere if he wanted to join. It's the reason he left more than forty minutes earlier. As he pulled into Bedford street, he couldn't help but notice how warm and friendly the entire neighbourhood looked.

He could see his baby spending their weekends here with their dad and their big brother. It was a beautiful thought and it stuck with him as he pulled into a parking space and made his way up the footpath. "Here goes nothing." He breathed, ringing the doorbell and stepping back slightly.

"Buck?" Eddie frowned as he answered the door. "What erm- what are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry, I know it's really random, but I have an ultrasound appointment. I was just wondering if you'd wanna maybe, come? You don't have to if you have Chris or things to do. It's just- I thought it'd be a good way to start that all important chat." Buck replied, biting his lip anxiously.

"Oh!" The older man spoke in surprise. "I - was about to drop Chris with my Abuela actually. So if you have time to wait , I'd Erm- I'd really like that." 

"I have time, I left forty minutes early just incase. Don't worry about it, You wanna just meet me there? I can send you the address."

"Or I can just drive us? You've already met Chris at the station so I'm sure he won't mind you being in a car with him." 

"Are you sure? I've parked my jeep over there at the end of the street." He asked the brown eyed man hesitantly.

"Absolutely, you can leave it on the driveway, there's more than enough room. Once we're done we can come back here and talk about- well you know." Eddie said, smiling softly.

"Yeah okay, I'll do that. You go finish sorting Christopher." He agreed , nodding his head.

Things had been a little awkward between the two of them, but it wasn't anything they couldn't handle. It was a difficult situation and it would take some time for them to adjust to their new lives. By the time Buck was pulling up onto the driveway, Eddie and Christopher were already making their way out of the house and into Eddie's truck. The six year old insisting he didn't need his fathers help.

"Daddy, no I'm fine." Buck heard him whine, the sight of the little boy pouting making his heart melt. 

"I know you can clip it yourself buddy, just let me fix the straps okay?" Eddie cooed, pulling on the adjustable straps carefully.

"Okay, Hi Buck." 

"Hey superman, how are you?" Buck asked, smiling widely towards the boy.

"M' happy." Christopher cheered cutely.

"Well I'm glad you're happy little man." He chuckled fondly, moving to allow Eddie to close Christopher's door and walking around around to the passenger seat. "There's no rush, so if you wanna see your Tía and Abuela for a little bit I can wait in here."

Eddie frowned. "No, I'll go inside to see them sure, but you're coming in too. I'm not leaving you sat inside a truck whilst five and a half months pregnant Buckley, think again."

"Oh I'm sure I'll be fine, it's just- isn't it a little awkward for me to meet them now?" He spoke, checking to see if Christopher was listening, before carrying on. "You know, with me being pregnant n' all. They'd ask questions."

"Well if they do, then I'll answer them truthfully." The older man said shrugging his shoulders. 

"B-but Eddie, we haven't even made a decision about what we're doing yet. It's for that exact reason I haven't told Maddie about the baby being yours."

"I mean, I kind of have made my decision. I know what I want Buck. It's still completely up to you of course, but I know where I personally stand on things and I think you do too. I want this baby."

Buck smiled softly. "Really?"

"Yeah, that's why I'm coming with you dummy. If I hadn't thought it through I wouldn't be here. Trust me on that, I'm the worst for running away from my unsolved issues. Christopher's mom is a prime example, I know I have to cut her off but I'm too scared to so instead I hide away." 

"Don't call me a dummy! I'm just- we shouldn't be talking whilst he's in the truck. I'll wait." He froze, eyes locking on Christopher who had looked up from the book he had previously been engrossed in.

"Okay, but you're coming into Abuela's whether you like it or not man." 

"Seriously?" Buck whined, sighing as he noticed Eddie was already looking to pull in. Of course his Abuela's was only a few blocks away!

"Seriously indeed, now come on! Let's go introduce you to the top Diaz women!" 

Meeting his baby's future great grandma and great aunt wasn't exactly something he had planned for in his day,  but once he was inside and he was greeted by one of the kindest smiles he'd ever seen, he no longer cared. 

"Mijo, who's this?" The oldest of the two asked nodding towards Buck excitedly. "Is this the 'Despertar gay' guy from Las Vegas?"

"Abuela! We talked about this, he was not my gay awakening! I already knew I was gay! Dios, you're so embarrassing." Eddie blushed. 

"That didn't answer her question carinó." The woman, who Buck assumed to be Tía Pepa added in with a wicked smile.

"Yes, this is Buck. Yes he is the guy from Vegas." He heart Eddie ramble out in embarrassment.

"It's so nice to meet you." 

"Ah! It's lovely to meet you too! My grandson has done nothing but speak of you ever since he met you at that bar!" Abuela chuckled, moving over to give him a hug, he didn't know whether to pull away or not! What if she felt his-

"Oh! Edmundo?! estas teniendo un bebe!" Pepa cried out in joy, pointing to the noticeable bump.

Eddie looked to Buck for assurance, they hadn't exactly spoke the words , we're keeping the baby out loud to one another yet. Sure they'd both said it as a want individually, but not as a whole ass decision!

"E-erm yes, yes we are. But Christopher doesn't know so Erm- maybe don't cry too loudly." Buck replied, laughing softly at the two.

"Right! Right! Of course! Oh! It's such a blessing!" Abuela said, continuing her hold on Buck. 

"It is, it's a blessing that we actually have to go and see live in action now. I just wanted you two to meet Buck and finally put a face to the name." Eddie told them? Taking a hold of Buck's shoulders. "We will be back for dinner to show the ultrasounds okay?"

"I'll hold you to that!" Pepa said pointing her finger in warning towards the pair.

"Oh believe me , I know."

Arriving at his doctors appointment and having Eddie by his side was a whole new feeling that Buck had never experienced before. It felt nice to know he had someone to turn to and be able to gush about how cute their baby was and how big they had grown over the short period of time. It also felt nice to know that he could choose whether or not to know the gender now.. this was it. He was keeping his baby and he had the most amazing guy to help him when he needed him. To co parent with, holy shit, he had a co parent?! What is this life?!

"You okay?" Eddie spoke, whispering in his ear as they sat waiting for his name to be called.

"I'm good, great actually." He replied with smiling happily. "It feels nice knowing I can enjoy these now and not have to worry about them being the only pictures I'll ever have of my baby."

"So we're definitely doing this then? We're going to keep them? Be a cute , little dysfunctional family." 

"We are, I know that if I'm ever swamped with exams and college work, they'll have their daddy there to love and dote on them. That's all I want for them Eddie, is to know they're wanted."

"Because you never had that? That's why you're so afraid right? Because you've never had a loving family dynamic to follow by." Eddie guessed, offering him a sad smile.

"Y-yeah I erm- I was never really the child my parents wanted, but I'm the beginning they did try and keep us as a typical loving family. You see , they only had me to try and save my older brother Daniel. He has a rare form of childhood cancer ,

Maddie never really explains the details of it all. But from what I gathered, I was his only hope. And when it didn't work , everything feel apart. It's like ever since then I guess they- they just gave up loving us." Buck murmured, shrugging his shoulders. "But me and Maddie have always had one another, we don't need them. I just didn't want my child to ever feel as though they didn't matter , that they wasn't enough for me to wanna be at home. That's all I ever felt, my whole childhood, it's not exactly the best feeling."

"I-I'm really sorry that happened to you Buck. Your parents losing their child is devastating, but they shouldn't have given up on the ones they still had, that's not fair to you or Maddie. It's selfish." 

Buck snorted. "Yeah well, that's the Buckley's, only ever thinking of themselves. I can't wait for the day I lose their name. If that ever happens for me at least."

"It will." Eddie said, his tone serious. "You're too good of a person to be alone Buck. The sooner you realise that, the easier it'll be for you to find a nice guy, who's going to love you for you. However, I will need to put my stamp of approval down on him before you marry him."

"Oh is that so?"

"Indeed, just as you will have to over my future partner. We have a child together now Buck, we will forever be a huge part of each others lives. Your opinion on the person I end up with , is the one that'll matter most to me."

Buck didn't realise he was staring until the sound of his name being called out by the doctor made him startle from his seat. "T-that's us."

The woman that was stood waiting for them seemed to be middle aged , hair a beautiful, shiny, black. Eyes soft and sparkling... she looked friendly enough. Buck was glad about that. 

They shuffled alongside one another following her into a room. An examination table placed perfectly to the side. Two chairs next to what was quite obviously her desk. She politely guided them to the seats and instructed them to sit.

"So first things first boys! I'm Dr Ferguson. But you can call me Rebecca." The young obstetrician chirped. "I prefer to get on a personal level with my patients it makes it more comfortable for you! But if that's not what you want, I can keep it hard faced!"

"N-no I'd really like friendly and personal.. I'm a little nervous for someone new to be poking around down under, if you get what I mean." Buck said , cringing as Eddie rubbed his back.

"Absolutely! I will need to do a quick check of your cervix today unfortunately, but I'll make it quick and your boyfriend can stay right by your side."

"Oh he's not-"

"We're not together."

"Oh, I see! Just two friends having a baby then? I've seen it before, or is just emotional support?" Rebecca quizzed , handing Buck a gown.

"It's sort of strangers to sort of friends , having a baby." Eddie tried to explain chuckling as Buck huffed and walked behind the curtain to change. 

"A little oopsy baby huh? I don't judge. You two seem pretty at ease with it now."

Buck snorted at that. "Actually I'm still absolutely crapping my pants about it all, but yeah.. at ease is what we will go with." He called out.

"Fair enough." The doctor said, laughing at his sarcasm. "I'll go with whatever you like."

As he undressed he could hear how Dr Ferguson quickly ran through all of the medical health questionnaire with Eddie. Luckily he had already filled his one of those out during his first visit with his old obstetrician. "You better have told the truth on that Diaz." He playfully warned stepping out.

"Oh yeah, of course I’d lie my way through it and put my unborn child at risk wouldn't I Buckley?" Came the older man's teasing reply. 

Buck just loved the fact that he could take his banter so easily. Most of the other guys he'd been with always took it to heart and so seriously. It was like a breath of fresh air to hear someone give it back.

"Right Evan! Let's get you laying down on the examination bed and we will take a look okay?" Rebecca suggested.

"A-a look?" Buck gulped.

"Yes, don't worry, I'll be as quick as I possibly can okay?" She waited for him to nod before continuing on. "It'll just be a simple cervix check , over in a matter of seconds and then I'll do abdominal ultrasound for you and see if we can find out this little ones gender! I'll make sure there looking below south of the boarder for Eddie here don't worry!"

He saw as Eddie smirked at that, the older man's hand tapping arm to encourage him to move.  He eventually took the hint and made his way over to the examination bed. Laying down carefully as Rebecca dragged over what looked like a really extravagant computer. "Right swing your feet up into the stirrups and I'll get this over with!"

Buck did as asked , reaching out to grab a hold of Eddie's hand. Barely taking notice of the warmth that spread through out him at the older man's touch. His mind instantly zoning in on the two lubed fingers shoving themselves inside of him. "Jesus! Warn me next time!"

"Sorry, I know the lube can be a lil' cold."

"A lil' cold?! You may as well have shoved a whole ice cube up there Doc!" He whined, biting his lip as he tried to take deep breaths and relax.

"It's nearly done." Eddie assured, stroking back his hair carefully. "I'm sure it's still shitty though."

"Very, very shitty."

"Okay! All done! You're cervix is all good, no signs of placental issues or dilation so that's amazing! Let's get you comfortable under a sheet and I'll do the ultrasound okay?"

Buck knew the both of the looked like nodding dogs as she began the set up, but it was the first time Eddie was seeing their baby and they were about to find out the gender, it was a lot. "We should really work on this friendship before they get here shouldn't we? We don't exactly hang out and we barely know anything about one another. I mean I see you around the station when me and Maddie visit , but that's about it."

"We will, I understand where you're coming from . We can't exactly raise a baby together when we've only really spent a few hours a day together. Just let me tell Christopher and we will arrange a day a week for some dysfunctional family bonding time huh? How does that sound?"

"Pretty perfect actually."

"Right you two! Let's get this little one up on the screen huh? See how they're getting on!" Rebecca said snapping them out of their bubble.

Buck smiled , raising the gown enough for the woman to gain access to his bump. He'd gotten used to the ice cold gel used during these things, but it didn't really lessen his flinch. 

"Are you feeling them move around at all?"

"Yeah, there's the odd kick here and there, that started when I hit five months. I'd say they're more active when I'm eating or drinking if I'm being honest, kid loves their meals." He smirked.

"Good! Bet you can't wait to have a feel huh Eddie? I can see that wishful look in your eyes." Rebecca cooed, casting a quick look towards the brunette.

"Y-yeah." Was the stammering she received.

"I'll let you feel don't worry, it's your kid too." Buck assured him , reaching out to squeeze his hand before letting go.

"Ah ha! There's the little Bubz!" Rebecca was suddenly chirping, causing his attention to switch .

His  eyes instantly locked on the small baby she was pointing to. Although it was still rather tiny, you could still make out the shape of it's little head and body. Their arms and legs where definitely a lot longer than they where the last time he seen them. And it was no longer alien like, it was the cutest little baby, it was his baby. It was all so overwhelming and amazing at the same time.

"Looks like Bubz is measuring right on track, you're carrying them well Evan! So that means you're original due date of December 26th is correct! You could have yourselves the perfect Christmas present this year if you're lucky." 

A Christmas baby... they could have a two week old baby by the time they rang in the new year!

"Wow." Buck breathed. His tears threatening to spill as he took in more of the grainy image of his baby. This little one was his and Eddie's, he was actually doing this, he was keeping his baby... god this kid was going to be so loved. 

"Wow indeed..." Eddie  breathed out, his own eyes becoming slightly moist at the sight. "C-can you see their gender?"

"I can." The doctor said smiling widely at the pair. "Do you wanna know?"

"Please." He found himself whispering. 

"Congratulations you two, you have yourselves one perfect little boy."

———————————————————————————

Two months, it had been two months since he and Eddie decided to go ahead with keeping their son and co parent with one another. So far it had been a pretty easy ride! They'd told Christopher who was more than excited to have a new sibling , Eddie's family had been supportive, They'd slowly been getting to know each other and well, they'd started house sharing. It was the only logical thing they could think of. Two friends could live together in peace, especially ones that share a baby... right?

Buck still had one important issue he needed to tackle before the end of the week however. He had to tell Maddie, Eddie wanted to tell the 118 this weekend  so he could get his paternity leave request in early and well.. Maddie would find out through Chim and that would not end well on his part.

"Hey Mads?" 

"What's up?" Maddie said, walking towards the living room where he was sat on the sofa.

"I need to tell you something and I really need you to sit down and like maybe , not get mad at me?" He cringed , shuffling down so she could sit.

"Why would I be mad? Evan? What the hell have you done? Are you going back on your decision to keep the baby?! Is that what this is?!" She said , beginning to freak out.

"No! God no! He's staying with me don't panic!" Buck gasped, placing her hands on his bump. "He's your nephew Maddie, he's staying with us."

"Okay, okay good. Shit, don't scare me like that!"

"Sorry, it's just- I've been lying to you. Well, not lying but sort of lying." 

Maddie frowned at that, rubbing her thumb against his tight skin. "What?"

"I do know who the father is and it's been one hell of a mess Maddie." He confessed, holding his hand up before she could interrupt. "It's Eddie, the baby's dad is Eddie. He's the guy I slept with in the alley at the bar, he knows , we've decided to co parent as friends, that's why we moved in together, it's been going okay, all of his family know now, his parents are so amazing , Christopher is amazing , this little boy is so damn lucky a-and yeah- I think that's it."

It seemed as though Maddie had suddenly lost her ability to talk. If he's being completely honest it's really unsettling, just watching her fish for her words, like a fish blowing bubbles. "A-are you okay?"

"HOLY SHIT EVAN!"

It was as though she'd been revived from the dead , Buck couldn't keep up with her pacing at all! 

"I know, I know! Just- I didn't know he was here in LA I promise you, I really did come back to be with you and for you to help me."

"It's just so crazy! You and Eddie, like Eddie Diaz , the most amazing man ever , are having a kid! That amazing man is my nephews father?! It's insane! Did you know he's the guy I planned on setting you up with?! And now you're having a baby with him! This is a dream come true for me!" Maddie cried.

"Wait what?" 

"It's exactly what I wanted for you! There is no way in hell you two will stay friends! You'll be together before the baby's first birthday, I can bet my life on it! You're too perfect for one another!" 

Buck couldn't help but start laughing at her fangirling attitude. "We're polar opposites Maddie, there is no way in hell we'd last together."

"Ah, ah, ah! Opposites attract baby brother, you should know this by now! Look at me and Howie!"

"No offence Maddie, but you two are not opposites. You're literally the male and female version of each other it's a weird kind of soulmate shit."

"Okay, well what about Bobby and Athena huh?! You can't tell me they're not opposites! Bobby is all soft and cuddly like a teddy bear and Athena she's such a bad ass it's actually amazing." She said, rambling.

"That's one, I will give you that. But sometimes being opposites isn't the best. Maddie I can't risk being with him in that way and ruining the friendship. Our son would end up having to become a mediator between us." Buck pressed. "It's not happening so please don't get your hopes up okay?"

"Fine, but you can't expect me to not ship it. I think I'll always ship it. God help the guy you do end up with honestly, he doesn't stand a chance in winning me over." 

"You're so dramatic."

"No I am not!"

Buck rolled his eyes fondly, reaching over to pull her into his side. "You really are, but I love you anyway."

"Hmm, I love you too I guess. Even though you kept this huge ass piece of information away from me."

"I'm sorry." He said, pouting down at her.

"It's okay." She replied chuckling. "So? Was the sex good?"

"Maddie!"

"So I'm curious, sue me!"

"I am not discussing the creation of my child with you! God me and Eddie don't even talk about it." Buck whined, blushing deep red.

"What do you talk about?" Maddie said, continuing her questioning. 

"Erm, not much I guess. Lately we've been playing twenty questions and things like that. Oh and erm we're deciding on his name." 

"Really?! Have you short listed any names or?!"

"We have , we both like Freddie and we both like Milo. Robert is without a doubt gonna be his middle name and Diaz will be his last." He shrugged.

"You're not giving him our last name?"

"No, I mean- it's not like we have any attachment to it is it? I'd rather him have a strong name that shows the side of his family that love and care for him." 

Maddie hummed. "Yeah that's fair, I'm gonna take Howie's last name when we marry. I can not wait to disassociate with the Buckley's." 

"You and me both sis."

"You'll have to let me know when his name is officially decided, even if it's the day he's born. I wanna get him a little personalised blankie."

"That'll be cute, his first present off his aunt Maddie huh? How's that sound baby boy?" He spoke softly, reaching out to grab her hand as he kicked.

"Oh it's so amazing, like holy shit Evan, you have an actual human growing in there." She breathed.

"Yeah I know, he's gonna be here for Christmas. Maybe just after if I'm unlucky."

"H-have you decided what your birth plan is?"

"I have actually." 

Maddie raised her eyebrow expectantly. "Anddd, what is it exactly?"

"Oh!" Buck said laughing. "Erm, obviously a hospital birth, I don't want a water birth because ut just freaks me out the thought of all that bloody and shit floating around. I want Eddie to be there and then I want you there of course."

"You do?" She gasped excitedly.

"Yes, you're my big sister Maddie, you're the person I turn to the most when I'm scared, I'll need you."

"I'll be there for every single second of it all , I promise you."

"I know you will. Now I really do need to get going. I'm heading over to Abuela's for dinner with Eddie's family." 

"Oh of course! Have fun! Tell them I said hi."

Buck shouted his thanks as he grabbed his keys and exited the apartment. It felt nice to have finally gotten all of that off of his chest, there would be no more secrets after this weekend.  Arriving at Abuela's early for dinner had become one of his favourite things. She was always willing to feed him extra and offer him whatever he needed. Him of course offering his services of help.

"Hola!" He shouted happily as he entered the house.

"Oh Mijo! Come here! I've missed you!" Isabel cried happily, rushing over to pull him into a hug. "How did it go with Maddie?"

"Amazing actually! She's really happy I finally told her and she's already joined you in planning that big white wedding." Buck said giggling.

"Brilliant! We need the extra hands." She smirked.

"Bucky you're here before daddy again!" Christopher said giggling as he wandered into the room. 

"Typical! He's always running late huh?"

"Always!" The six year old pouted, leading him into the living room so they could sit. "Can I feel my brother again?"

"Sure thing superman, you may have to talk and wake him up though." Buck told him gently, bringing the boys hand to rest against his bump.

"Okay! Hi baby brother! Did you and Bucky have fun today?" Christopher sat whispering, mouth basically pressed against his bump but he could care less. The little boy melted his heart with how much affection he was showing towards the baby. "He's kicking Bucky! He likes me."

"I think he more than likes you Chris, I think he loves you."

"Really?!"

"Absolutely, you're his big brother , of course he loves you!" Buck said gasping. "In fact, he kicks the most when you're around."

"That's cool!" Christopher spoke, giggling as he snuggled into Buck's  side. His conversation with his baby brother continuing on.

Buck isn't exactly sure how much time has passed when Eddie comes walking into the room. Pausing to take in the sight of his son chatting away to the small bump happily. "How long has he been sat like this?" He whispered to the younger man.

"A while, he's having a nice little catch up with his baby brother. It's far too adorable."

"He loves him so much already, it's actually amazing." Eddie breathed, sitting on the opposite side, his son paying him no attention as of yet.

"He's gonna be an amazing big brother." Buck said nodding his head towards the doorway. "Are your parents here too?"

"Yeah that's where I went after work, they needed picking up from the airport. I told you I have reasons to be late most of the time."

"Key words being, most of the time."

"Whatever asshole." 

"Daddy! That's a bad word!" Christopher scolded.

"Oh so now you're paying attention huh? I'm offended buddy, I though we loved each other!" Eddie said , playing hurt.

"No we do! I just love Bucky and baby brother as well! They're family too!" 

Buck's heart melted at that. "Your daddy knows that superman, he's just teasing you." 

"Oh okay, are Abuela and Abuelo here?"

"They are! I was coming to get you two they're waiting in the kitchen."

"Three daddy, there is three of us." Christopher stated rolling his eyes.

The sight causing both men to burst into laugher. Eddie carefully scooping his son up into his arms to carry him as Buck waddled behind.

"There you are! We was wondering whether or not Edmundo had found you asleep!" Ramon chirped.

"Oh no, Chris was just speaking to the baby. You know what he's like for their bonding time." Eddie chuckled fondly.

"It's so lovely that you allow him to do that. I know I used to hate people being all over my bump." Helena said to him kindly.

"I don't really mind if it's the people I trust, you guys for instance." Buck replied, hugging the woman. "How was the flight?"

"It was good! How are you? Any changes?" 

"Nope, same old , same old. Although we are one step closer to picking a name!" 

"Oh brilliant! I'm sure whatever you choose will be perfect for our precious little one." Ramon told him. 

"Where are Adriana and Sophia? Couldn't they make their flight?" He wondered looking to Eddie.

"They'll be here in two weeks, Adriana and the kids are on vacation with her new boyfriend." Tía Pepa explained to him. "Sophia is finish up some college work and will tag along with her sister."

"And then you're all staying until the baby's born right?" Eddie checked in. "I wouldn't want you guys to go back and miss it."

"We're spending the holidays here Mijo, don't you worry about that." Helena assured, kissing her sons cheek. "Now shall we eat?"

It was a really surreal feeling for Buck. To sit and actually enjoy family dinners , to actually feel wanted in a family dynamic. He'd never been more grateful to have been accidentally knocked up by the handsome , brown eyed, stranger . By the time five pm rolled around he , Eddie and Christopher where saying there goodbyes and heading back home.  They needed to finish off the baby's nursery and Buck was kind of hoping they would finally come to a decision on his name. That way he could have someone paint it onto the wall (fancy style of course). 

"So , you still wanna stick to the sage green and natural colours in here?" Eddie checked, concentrating as he finished painting around the doorframe. "Because we have time to change it."

"Nah, I like it like this. I think the elephants are a cute theme to add in too. That was kinda Chris' idea you know? He asked me a few weeks back if he could pick the baby a stuffed toy and I of course said yes, he instantly dragged me and Abuela over to the elephants. Stating how it would be his baby brothers favourite at the zoo." Buck said chuckling. "It gave me some inspiration for in here."

"It is really cute, I will give you that." The older man told him, watching as Buck finishes outlining the elephant he'd spent the past two weeks drawing. "You're crazy talented , it's actually amazing the things you can do with a bit of paint." 

"And pens, oh and pencils. Can't forget the pencils." He teased lightly. "But thankyou, I really appreciate it. I just want his room to feel personal you know? I think I'll always draw on his walls, I'll probably even allow him to at some stage. Art is expression, I want him to be able to express."

"That's a really cute idea, it could be a thing between you and him as he grows up. I think for me, I'd have to get him into music like Christopher."

"Music?"

"Uh huh, it's the one thing me and my family will always have in common. Each and every one of us without a doubt knows how to play some form of instrument."

"Seriously?! How did I not know this?" 

Amazingly there was clearly some things they'd been missing in their daily games of twenty questions. Eddie couldn't help laughing at Buck's awestruck reaction to the information. "Yes seriously, I can play piano and guitar. Chris, he's good with a DJ set."

"No way! How an earth does a six yeat old learn to DJ? Isn't that like really hard?" 

"Sort of , but he's really quick at learning things. He's never wanted to let his CP get in the way of his goals and I'll always support him through it." 

"You're an amazing dad Eddie, we don't have to be best friends for me to know that." Buck cooed.

"I'd say we're getting there though right? I mean I'm definitely opening up to you a lot more." Eddie said hesitantly.

"We're already there Eddie, you're my friend and I can not wait for our son to be here and for us to continue on with the friendship. Who knows? we might get real close."  He winked.

"Or so everyone hopes huh? I heard Abuela and my mom wedding planning again at dinner."

Buck began chuckling again at that.

"It's like they don't hear us say the words, we're okay being friends and aren't forcing something that isn't there.." 

"That's what I said to my dad! He just laughed it off and patted my shoulder saying 'you keep telling yourself that son'." 

"Oh he sounds like Maddie, it's ridiculous right? Like we're friends, friends with a kid! That's allowed. I don't know what they're seeing that we can't see!"

"Maybe it's because we're both hot and they think we'd make such a strong power couple?"

"I mean if that's the reason then, I can't really blame them because we would be one hell of a good looking couple if I do say so Eds."

"Is it bad that we both just openly admitted that we think of ourselves as hot?" Eddie smirked.

"Not at all! What's wrong with a lil' confidence! We should be teaching the boys to love themselves! That's just a prime example." Buck defended.

"Or it could just be seen as big headed." 

"Ah well, each to there own! However, speaking of the boys, we still need to name one of them."

Eddie sighed. "That we do, although I think I've made my mind up on which name I liked the most. I just don't think you'll agree."

"Okay, how about this, on the count of three we'll both blurt out the name we like the most and if it's the same yay and if it's not, we go back to the drawing board until we both find one we love?!" 

"Cheesy, but okay sure."

Buck clapped his hands together. "Right okay, 1, 2, 3..."

"Freddie."

"Freddie."

He looked to Eddie in shock, they couldn't have gotten that anymore perfect if they had tried. 

"Freddie Robert Diaz . That's a pretty strong name if I do say so myself." 

Eddie sniffled, reaching over to pull him into a hug. "I'm so glad you allowed him to have my second name. It's just- I've always had this goal to have all of my kids under the same name as stereotypical as it sounds.. I just like that."

"I wouldn't dare let him take my name Eddie, if I had decided to keep him and you weren't around , he would have taken my old bosses name. Ron Harper, he was like a father to me whilst I was out in Las Vegas. This little boy was never gonna be a Buckley." He assured, hugging Eddie back.

"He's one lucky kid to have you, you do know that don't you?" 

"Thanks Eddie, you don't realise how much I need to hear that sometimes." Buck whispered. "Now come one! We have to get his name up next to the elephant, any chance you can do fancy writing?"

"You're an artist.."

"Exactly, I draw, I don't write..."

———————————————————————————

"Okay so I made it to thirty nine weeks .. and I think my body is right! I need him out." Buck informed a startled Athena as he began pacing the floor of her gorgeous , newly decorated living room.

"Oh, right okay..." she trailed off, trying her best to take in his rambling.

"I'm done! He's constantly hurting me and I've had enough!" Buck pouted. "Surely this isn't okay? Like these Braxton hicks contractions, they suck! It's just not okay, it can't be considered normal!"

"Well, I hate to break it to you Buckaroo but it is in fact normal. I suffered terribly my first pregnancy with May, the last few weeks where torture. However, can try a number of things to induce labour honey, long walks, curry, bouncing on a birthing ball, herbal tea , fish oil capsules and sex." She began explaining. "If that's what you want."

"Well it looks like Eddie  is in for a fun weekend then! Because I'm trying them all." He stated. "Minus the sex thing, that can't happen."

"Right.. well how about we go on a walk now? I need to head into to town to pick up a few things from the store and I don't mind you tagging along."

"Sounds great! I really need to get out." Buck admitted, sighing. "I don't really walk much anymore so who knows? Maybe it'll shock him out."

"Okay! Let me just sort myself out and we will go." Athena said smiling gently as she patted his cheek.

Buck found himself watching, chuckling to himself as she struggled to find her purse. She was so like Harry, her youngest child ... well Harry was like her. They both did the same thing when they where stressed out. They'd both start muttering to themselves, almost like a mini argument with their mind. It was hilarious to just sit back and watch.

"You okay there?" He asked chuckling.

"Y-yes! I just- where the hell did I put it?" She asked him frowning.

"On the coat hooks, under ya' red jacket, And Bobby's 'Rat like scarf' as you say." He told her smirking.

Athena raised her eyebrow , immediately rushing over to the hooks , removing the floral jacket and laughing softly as she immediately found her purse. The one that was indeed under Bobby's rat like scarf

"Always me." She tutted shaking her head in amusement.

"Can we go now? He's kicking my spleen so hard right now." Buck groaned.

"Let's go!" She said rolling her eyes at his dramatics. God she hoped he didn't go over his due date. He was such a baby when it came to being fed up.

They had only really just began their walk up the street and already Buck's back was protesting. But he knew he had to do this, he wanted this kid out. The only way to do that was to give each thing on the tick list of labour starters a shot! So he was doing this, even if it killed him.

"Honey, just so you know .. this may not work honey." Athena spoke up again, snapping him from his thoughts. 

"No , I know that. If he's not ready he's not ready. Eddie's been telling me that for days now, it's just- I'm so ready for him you know?"

"I do, trust me hun. I was the exact same, If Eddie knew even half of the discomfort you are feeling right now I'm pretty damn sure he'd change his mind pretty quickly." Athena cooed. "Just keep pushing forwards and hope for the best."

"Oh believe me , I'm hoping for the best and the best is that he comes out tomorrow at the latest." 

"Can you imagine it? A little Christmas Eve baby."

"It'd be the perfect Christmas present for Christopher and the family that's for sure."

"That it will, you just need to not get your hopes up too much kiddo." 

"Who knows maybe my water will break in the store?" He said with a shrug.

"Oh I love your optimism my lovely." Athena said laughing in amusement.

"I'm just hopeful! Always have been, even in the shittiest situations." Buck responded cheerfully.

"I know, it's one of the reasons I believe you'll be such a great dad. Even at this young age." She told him sincerely. "Even when you're working hard to get your degree and you feel like you're failing him."

Buck looked to her, a soft smile of appreciation appearing across his features. There was nothing better than hearing those words leave Athena's lips. The woman had most definitely became one of his favourite people over the last few months. She was incredibly special to him.

"Thankyou, I'll be even better with you by my side." He told her gently.

"Oh you make me blush, you know? Considering it's December, the weather is still pretty nice." 

"I know, I'm praying it's not too nice the day Freddie decided to make his appearance... " He said to her, feeling the anxiety he'd been successfully pushing down begin to build back up again.

"Why sweetie?" She asked in confusion.

"Because I'll be in pain, sweaty, most likely sobbing and the heat just won't help!" He confessed pouting.

Athena just laughed fondly, shaking her head as she looked in front of them.

"Oh you will be crying, I can bet my life on it." She stated.

"Glad to know you have faith in me." Buck muttered.

"Honey I do have faith in you! You can do this. I just mean that everyone struggles giving birth it's not easy and it's not fun. I cried my eyes out the entire time I was in labour with May! A whole twenty six hours." She explained to the teen.

"Twenty Six! Oh god, please tell me you're kidding? That's a joke right?!" He panicked, waiting for her to laugh, but she didnt. "Okay, okay! That's it I've changed my mind I can't do this! He can stay put!" 

"You can and you will! I was just unlucky maybe Freddie will come quickly? You just don't know." Athena assured as she tried to calm him. 

"H-he won't I can see it now- I'm going to fail and be shit! All I'm going to do is cry and scream and beg- w-what If I can't push him out?! And he gets stuck?! H-he will get s-sick and it'll be on me." Buck said feeling himself hyperventilating slightly.

"That's enough! Stop it! You'll be perfectly fine. You're young and healthy! I have no doubt in my mind that you can push him out!" She spoke sternly.

Buck could only nod shakily in response. He was only twenty three, it was normal to be freaking out so much. No one wants to go through something as horrific as labour, never mind when they're about to become a young parent. He was absolutely petrified to the point where he felt sick... not that he would ever admit that to anyone! He had to stay positive around them, otherwise they would worry about him. Especially Eddie or Maddie, they couldn't know he was freaking out, it would freak them out.

"Y-you're right." He eventually stuttered , although he was completely unconvinced. 

"I know I am! Now let's decide where we are going first huh?" Athena suggested softly.

"Y-yeah, I think we should get Freddie a blanket, he hasn't got one for coming' home." Buck breathed.

"Perfect! We will go Target first then okay? They have the best baby stuff! It's where me and Bobby got his baby grows." She explained to him happily.

"Great." He said back , smiling wearily.

The truth was , the more they walked , the more the pressure he felt between his hips and it was starting to get really bad. It had been there all morning ,but he hadn't really thought much of it until now. Especially now in fact. His back was tightening just so slightly, whilst the skin on his stomach twinged.  That was something new.

But he wouldn't mention it... he couldn't worry anyone until he was sure of things.

They spent most of their time just wondering around the baby aisle at target, Buck just wanted to see if there was any last minute outfits he could find for Freddie to come home in. It eventually let to both of them making their way over to the blanket section. They all looked so fluffy and adorable.  There was also wracks of comfort blankies and teddies , Buck had  completely forgotten about getting Freddie one of those! He had one when he was little.. it was a blue bunny, something that Maddie told him Daniel had begged their parents to get him. And he knew Eddie had one too, he had passed it down to Christopher once he was born. It was a cute brown and cream bear that stayed on the end of his bed.

"Oh! He needs a comforter." Buck gasped, alerting Athena  of his realisation.

"You're right! Every baby needs a comforter." She nodded.

He starting off searching through them , it had to be perfect. This was something his son would be able to keep forever. Something that when he and Eddie where no longer here Freddie could use to remember them. The first gift they would ever give him. 

As he was searching the pain in the bottom of his stomach peeked ever so slightly before disappearing once more. Much like it had done during their walk. But this time he couldn't help but cringe slightly. 

"You okay?" Athena asked him kindly, pausing in her search.

"Yeah, he's just kicking harder than usual. Guess he's just as fed up as me at this point." He quickly excused. Like he said there was no reason to start panicking just yet. Besides if he was getting contractions, this is what he wanted!

Much to his relief Athena just smiled softly, focusing her attention back on the blankets as she reached out and grabbed a nice light grey one. It had Dumbo on it and Buck couldn't help but smile.

"I used to love that movie." He whispered.

He really did. He and Maddie would always sit and watch it together when they got the chance. It was honestly one of his favourite memories. No matter how old he got, that movie would always and forever be one he enjoyed. It brought back so many joyful moments, moments of love, moments of happiness, moments of acceptance .... moments he wished he could have back more than anything.

"Hmmm I think that's a sign honey! You've been talking about having elephants as the theme for his room! " The older woman exclaimed in excitement.

"Hmm maybe..." He trailed off, turning to the comforters when one finally caught his eye.

And much to his surprise... it was a Dumbo one. A nice little grey blankie with a small teddy Dumbo attachment.

"In fact I think you're right." Buck smiled , laughing gently , picking up the blankie.

"There we have it..." She stated , placing both the items in her basket gently.

"Let me get them please, I think it'll be nice as a first present off me and Eddie to him." Buck begged.

"Oh of course! No problem sweetie! But I'm buying that cute shirt and bow tie outfit!" Athena insisted.

"Thats fine with me! Now let's go, not to be rude but my back is killing me and you still need to get groceries remember? ." He  groaned, fingers pressing to his back.

It was really starting to get to him. It never hurt like this ... it was a different kind of ache to usual. It was more of a pulled muscle type of pain.

"That's fine." She soothed, patting his back as they made their way over to the tills.

Why did he feel so off? Surely that one walk couldn't of started labour? Right? So as it turns out maybe it was enough. That's why he was currently tossing and turning ,whilst trying his best not to wake Eddie or Christopher up with squeaking of his bed. The pains had stayed and they where now every twenty minutes ... it had been like that for around about five hours now. They had started at about an hour in between when they got home from their walk. And they where pretty calm. Buck didn't mention them to anyone at dinner and when he and Eddie made their way to bed he genuinely believed they where Braxton Hicks. Just different because he was so close to his due date! 

But then he woke up at one o'clock this morning in absolute hell. The pain that wrapped itself around his stomach and back was a killer. It took every ounce of strength in him not to cry. All he could do was try his best to breathe through it the way Rebecca had showed him during his final appointment. Not that it helped much. He then timed it , waiting to see if another one came; unfortunately one did. It started off slow just at the base of his spine , before it spread right around his hip bones and locked on his stomach. 

He allowed little whispered moans past his lips to begin with. But once he heard the sounds of Eddie moving around next door he panicked! So he decided on biting down on his sweater sleeve was the best option. The contractions had been stuck like this ever since, twenty minutes apart and lasting just under thirty seconds each. Looks like he was in for a long ride. Rebecca explained to him that he wasn't to go to hospital until his water broke or the contractions hit ten minutes apart. 

Just as he finally found a comfortable position, he felt his back begin to tighten and he knew he had to prepare himself. Immediately clutching onto the pillow under his head , knocking his leg against his laptop on the edge of the bed accidentally. Causing a bang that had him groaning in frustration.

"Shit Buck! Sorry did I wake you?!" Eddie panicked, entering the room  sleepily. "I've had Shannon calling for the past hour so I've been pacing."

"N-no you're good." Buck squeaked, hands clutching onto the pillow tightly as he was wracked with another contraction. The pain causing him to lose him breath. 

"She's on her way over and honestly I don't know whether she's sober or drunk. Most likely drunk, because apparently that's how it is these days. She has no fucking respect for anyone."

"I-I'm sure you can tell her to leave nicely and it'll be fine." Buck whispered, finally catching his breath.

Shannon was more than aware of the current situation between him and Eddie. Let's just say although aware, she wasn't exactly respectful. The woman was a living nightmare and Buck only knew half of what was going on with Eddie and her. Eddie wasn't really ready to talk about that part of his life just yet and Buck was okay with that. What he wasn't okay with was nights like this when Shannon would turn up black out drunk and causing a scene. Poor Christopher had been absolutely distraught the last time she did this.  He barely knew the woman, she was basically a stranger to him. 

"I don't know Buck, it's not fair to you and the baby having her do this all of the time." Eddie mumbled, moving to sit on the bed , frowning in concern at the state Buck was in. "Are you okay?" 

"Y-yeah , just the baby's been kicking all night so I had to keep moving sorry." He sighed, rubbing the bump slightly.

"Okay. I've tried calling her but there's no answer, I just hope she doesn't turn up again.  God we need to sleep, this baby could be here any day now and it can't happen then either!" Eddie stressed. "Why does life hate me so much? Why did I choose to be with her? I'm such an idiot."

"No offence Eds, but without her you wouldn't have Chris and we both know you'd never regret him. Therefore you don't regret you relationship either."

"I know.. I'm gonna go back to sleep.." The older teen stated closing his eyes. "I'm sorry I woke you up, if she comes by just ignore the door okay? I made sure Chris has his sleep music on, he won't hear it."

Nope! No way! Just the thought of Eddie going back to sleep was enough to snap him out of his denial! 

"H-hey , Eddie ?" He croaked, he really couldn't do this by himself anymore. He had no chance of falling back asleep and Eddie was already up so there was no point trying to hide his pain.

"Yeah?" Eddie whispered, eyes still half asleep.

"I'm in labour." Buck told him.

"W-what?" 

"Contractions are twenty minutes apart, they're pretty much killing me at this point. Started at one this morning." He replied, taking in a shaky breath.

"Y-you're - holy shit." Was the whispered reply he received. 

"Y-yeah, I have about fifteen minutes until the next one so please, please don't go to sleep." He didn't mean to but he sort of whimpered pathetically. He was feeling beyond sorry for himself. Sue him.

"Oh Evan..." Eddie soothed, immediately sitting back on the bed to pull him close. "Why didn't you wake me up! You've been like this for what?" 

"F-five hours..." Buck stuttered , his voice cracking slightly.

"I'm so sorry." 

"I-it's okay, I just really need you to help me time them. Once they hit fifteen minutes we will get up." He instructed, squeezing Eddie's arm gently.

"I can do that." The older man agreed.

"W-we're goin' to have a baby." Buck whispered, the reality of it all was finally beginning to set in.

"We are." Eddie  smiled. Although it was slightly wobbly with his nerves.

"So it begins..."

Before Eddie had time to answer a loud bang sounded against the front door. Both of the rolling their eyes in frustration. "That's just typical."

"You go, tell her I'm in labour and I'm very sensitive so if she doesn't leave I won't hesitate to get her ass arrested.  And I do mean it.. I won't have her ruining this for us."

"Right okay, just- how long until the next one?"

"About ten minutes why?"

"I don't want you to be alone through this anymore, so I'll be back as quickly as I can I swear."

"I'll be fine, don't worry. Just please get rid of her, I know she's Chris' mom but you know.. she's kinda stealing my thunder right now."

The laughter he got out of Eddie at that was more than enough to settle his nerves. He had the most incredible man to stand by his side throughout this entire process and he'd never been more grateful. He just prayed that whatever was about to go down with Shannon, wasn't enough to through Eddie out of sorts. Like the first day they met at the station after their hook up, he was a mess for weeks. Just as his mind wandered back to that day, he was startled by the sound of something glass being thrown. 

Oh hell no, she was not doing this to them! Not today! Fuck that. "What the actual fuck do you think you're doing?!" He snapped, storming down the hall.

"Oh here he is! The man of honour!" Shannon snarled, continuing to push Eddie's hands off of her as she swayed on her feet. "Stop touching me Eddie!"

"Shannon, what the hell are you playing at? Chris is asleep down the hall." Buck tried to reason. "You can't do this right now, he was supposed to go your house whilst I had the baby!"

"Oh for gods sake, all I ever hear about is that damn baby! I couldn't give a crap if I'm being completely honest! All I want is my son! I want my son back! I want my life back! You completely fucked me over when you took full custody Eddie!"

"What did you want me to do?! Shannon you left! You didn't want him! I spent years trying to convince you to be a part of his life and you refused every single time! You can't just decide now that I'm having another baby that you want him! That's not how it works!" Eddie argued.

"I will not have my son pushed aside because of this ridiculous situation! Because of a slut and his bastard child! How do you even know it's yours huh?! Did you ask for a DNA test?! No?! You're pathetic! You fall for anything Eddie , you're too gullible!" 

"You have no right talking about my baby like that!" Buck seethed, stepping forwards only to stop when another contraction hit. "Oh shit."

"Buck? Shit, you're okay." Eddie panicked, rushing forwards to rub his back as he leant against the doorframe for support. "Shannon, you need to leave! I mean it, get out!" 

"Fine! But don't even think for a second that I won't be back with a lawyer! I'm filing for custody and with this current situation, I have no doubt in my mind that the jury with rule in my favour! Raising a child with CP whilst also having a new born baby with an incompetent co- parent... oh wow, I really have won. Shame really, Chris seems to love you both." 

"GET OUT!"

Buck didn't need to look up to know she was gone, the sound of the door slamming shut was more than enough. "Ow ow ow." He uttered, choking on his breaths .

Eddie immediately jumped back into action, pressing the button on the timer he had managed to set up quickly.

"Shhhh it's okay, breathe Buck,

In and out remember?" He soothed, immediately grabbing onto Buck's searching hand.

He only cried out softly, clinging onto the other man's hand as he began to breathe in and out. Trying to keep a steady rhythm as the contraction slowly eased off.

"P-pain is right, they aren't kidding , it hurts, it's hurts a lot..." He croaked, slowly opening his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sure it's no walk in the park."

"E-Eddie are you okay though? What just happened with Shannon that-"

"Can be dealt with tomorrow, we have more important things to focus on right now. Like welcoming our baby boy into the world."

Buck was about to respond when he heard a noise come from Christopher's room. 

"Daddy? Daddy , who's yelling?"

"No one buddy, it's just me and Bucky! Go back to sleep okay!" Eddie called back.

"Okay!"

"He's such a good kid, god he's so amazing." Buck sniffled. "It's so shit he gets a mother like that."

"Yeah well, apparently all the best people have bad mothers... at least the ones I know." 

He wasn't blushing, nope, not at all. Eddie , the man who was he very , dear friend. Did not make him flush , not even in the slightest. 

"I need to call Maddie , let her know it's happening."

"I'll do that, you go and get your bag ready, looks like we're gonna have ourselves a Christmas Eve baby." 

———————————————————————————

"I-I can't! I can't do this!" Buck growled, his hair now matted to his forehead as he rocked back and forth on his knees.

The time was nine thirty and his contractions had just hit twelve minutes apart and lasting just under a minute each. He was being a baby, he knew he was but he couldn't help it. The pain was unbearable. Eddie though, Eddie  had been amazing, constantly supporting him throughout every one. Holding his hand, allowing him to scream at him and holding a cold, wet , cloth to his forehead.

"You can! Now shut up and breathe!" Maddie snapped back. She was more of a nuisance than a help at this point. However, she did snap him out of his hysterical state when needed. Like now, when he needed to focus on his breathing but all he was doing was screaming in pain.

"Maddie, little harsh don't you think !" Eddie exclaimed.

"N-no it's ahhhh... it's fine!" He gasped, breathing in a deep breath as the pain began to ease.

"No it's not! She shouldn't speak to you like that whilst you're in pain!" The older man protested.

"I-I need her too! I need her to speak to me like that. Please! It snaps me out of it." Buck quickly explained. "It's okay."

"Fine, but I still think telling him to shut up was a little too harsh. Sister or not."

"I'll just say be quite then..." Maddie said rolling her eyes. The pressure and importance of the situation was starting to get to them now.

"S-stop it, I don't need you two arguing! I need you to keep calm." 

He was starting to feel sick from the pain and all he wanted to do was cry. But he also wanted Eddie to stick at his side and keep him calm. The only way he would be able to do that was if he stopped arguing with his sister about stupid things!

"I-I'm sorry , I just- it's a lot. I don't like seeing you like this. I'm feeling a little protective."

Maddie immediately took a step back, allowing her little brother to sit beside his baby daddy properly. That's all Buck truly needed, he would realise that soon enough.

"I-its fin-Ow, ow, no! No it's not fine!" He stammered , turning to wrap his arms around Eddie's neck.

"Okay, you're okay ... I'm so proud of you 

. So , so proud." The other man cooed.

Buck could only nod, gritting his teeth as he tried his best to breathe his way through. He could do this, he had to do this! Allowing himself to whimper helped, and rocking was also helping. But the sudden pressure building in his pelvis was not!

"T-the pressure is too much." He moaned.

"That’s just the baby pressing down on your cervix. It'll lessen when your waters break sweetie." Maddie explained rubbing his back. "But in other news, you can go to hospital once this one is over!" 

"S-seriously?" Eddie asked in surprise.

"Yes! Less than 7 minutes apart!" His sister smiled, showing them the phone. "Good job you called your Abuela when you did."

"Good job carino! You're so close now!" Eddie exclaimed, kissing Buck's hair repeatedly.

"W-we're so not ready!" The younger man spoke up, panicking. 

The thought of going into the hospital made it so much more real. He was actually about to give birth! Sure the pain made that pretty clear... but holy shit! He was about to have a tiny human being! His own little boy! He was going to screw it all up! He just knew it!

"Maybe, but Freddie is, he doesn't care whether we're prepared or not." 

"R-right, and you’re sure I can't hold him in  a lil’ longer.” He moaned.

"Unfortunately not."

The car journey is a complete blur, arriving at the hospital is a complete blur, Rebecca entering his room is a complete blur. The only thing his mind could focus on was the pain.

"So Evan , sweetie! I'm just going to attach this monitor to your stomach! It allows me to track your contractions as well as baby's heart beat." Rebecca explained happily.

"T-that's fine." Buck said , smiling back slightly. He was nervous, he barely registered what she had said and it was already slipping his mind. Yet he was expected to stay completely calm throughout this whole thing?! "Then I'm going to ask you to bend you knees up to your chest and slide off your underwear! We need to check your dilation and babies position!" She went on. Wow she was full of beans this morning. 

She was once again focused in on what she was doing, the monitor was like a weird sort of belt thing with a large button. She used the same type of gel she always used in ultrasounds, meaning the flinch he gave was normal. It didn't take as long as first thought. Lucky for him he supposed, because just as she finished up another contraction hit causing him to groan. Eddie immediately grabbed onto his hand in support. It was actually adorable how switched on his was.

"Oh wow, that's a big one honey!" Dr Ferguson chirped watching the monitors.

Buck just threw her a look that said 'No shit Sherlock' whimpering and releasing his breath when it finally began to ease off. What was this woman Stupid?! Of course I was a big one!

"Y-you don't say.." He hissed.

"Sorry! I know that was obvious but I'm surprised!" The young doctor explained.

"W-why?" He breathed.

"Because your waters haven't broken! Usually when contractions are that strong  the water is long gone!" She states, patting his shin to get him to bend his legs.

"But that's okay right?" Maddie asked in concern, pushing his hair back.

"Absolutely! Baby coped really well throughout so no reason to worry!" The information instantly reassured them.

Buck was able to move himself eventually and slowly followed her instructions, lifting his hips to allow Eddie to pull down his underwear under the fitted sheets. God it was absolutely humiliating. He only ever allowed hook ups or himself down there for pleasure. So feeling her slowly push her cold, gloved digits up inside of him for a whole other reason than that,  was not fun. He tensed almost immediately.

"I need you to relax honey, I know it's hard right now , but just focus on something else!" Rebecca cooed, rubbing his shin with her free hand.

"Evan, carino look at me." Eddie instructed, turning the labouring mans face towards him. "Just breathe okay, she'll be quick."

Buck nodded , allowing his body to relax as he focused in on Eddie's features. He felt so blessed to have him in his life. He couldn't of asked for anything more. He was gorgeous, caring, supportive, kind, mysterious and exciting all in one. Buck really didn't understand what he done to deserve someone so amazing coming into his life. 

"I'm glad you're here." He croaked , trying his best to ignore the finger currently adding to the unbelievable pressure.

"I'm really glad I'm here too ." Eddie whispered , kissing his forehead lightly.

Oh so those butterflies where new.

"Ok perfect! Relax your legs for me!." His doctor instructed. "You're at seven centimetres which is good news! However, it does mean you're past the point where an epidural is an option."

"Of course I am." Buck cried softly. "Life just loves to make me suffer."

"Moving around should help a little bit, it'll speed it up and you'll be done and holding your little one before you know it! Give it a try and I'll be back in an hour or so." Rebecca chirped, taking her exit.

"She's nice." Maddie said, watching as Eddie helped him sit up carefully.

"Yeah she is, she's just very loud. Especially for this time in the morning." Eddie snorted.

"True, let's get me up, I really want him out before the end of today and time is ticking."

"What's the rush? You wanna be home for Christmas or something?" His sister asked chuckling.

"Yes, but I also want my Christmas dinner, it's always the best and it will be even better if it's my first meal since giving birth." Buck said, humming at the thought.

"Only you could think like that." Eddie said, shaking his head fondly.

"Even in labour , I love my food."

Maddie chuckled, moving over so she was by his side once more. She stepped back during the examination to give Eddie chance to support him. "Let's get you moving hey?" She said softly , rubbing his arm.

"O-okay." Buck replied, slowly moving once more and turning to the edge of the bed.

"You just going to circle around the room?" His baby daddy quizzed.

"Hmmm probably, need to keep the bed close by." Buck replied, chuckling at their looks of confusion. "The baby takes up half of my energy guys, I may collapse and I'm pretty sure you don't wanna carry me through the hallways do you?"

"Fair enough." Maddie agreed.

They helped him stand, Eddie  immediately putting a supportive hand on his back as he slowly began to pace back and forth. He was wearing an extra large T-shirt. He didn't want to wear one of those stupid gowns. Plus this way he could keep what he was wearing the day his first child entered the world. 

"A-shit... sorry-sorry!" He suddenly moaned, his hand squeezing Eddie's as another pain struck suddenly. It was completely out of nowhere.

"Why are you sorry?" Maddie asked puzzled , moving to his other side.

Buck just shook his head, taking in gulps of air. It worked miracles, it was absolute bliss! Thank god he was alive, he'd never take breathing for granted ever again ! It was an actual gift from god! He wasn't wasting any of it. "F-for swearing so much... hurts so bad." He whimpered out.

"It's fine, trust me swear all you want!" Eddie assured him. "Please don't cry! What's the matter? The contractions over carino..."

"I-I just- I'm so scared Eddie, what if this goes wrong? What if I'm a terrible father and he feels the way I felt growing up? I don't wanna do that to him. Promise me it'll be okay?"

"Of course it'll be okay! You have me, you have Chris, you have Maddie, you have the 118, you have Athena! Buck the list goes on and on, none of us are gonna let you fall. I promise you that. Freddie is so lucky to have you as his Dede."

"Yeah?"

"Absolutely, and hey? I even called Ron for you."

"Y-you did? You remembered?" Buck gasped, voice cracking.

"Of course I did." Eddie cooed, pecking his forehead.

"T-thankyou." Buck said, smiling up at him through his matted locks.

The pressure in his hips suddenly doubled causing him to grunt and immediately wrap his arms around the other mans neck. The pain in his back also returning with a vengeance.

"Ahhh god." He whined, gritting his teeth on the fabric covering Eddie's shoulder, wheezing for breath as he whimpered.

"W-what's wrong?" Eddie asked in confusion, the monitor didn't show any contractions.

"P-pressure and the pain in my back." The pregnant man groaned. Slowly pulling Eddie down with him as he dropped down into a squat. It felt better like this. Whilst he was stood he felt as though his legs would snap under his weight and it was awful. He was praying for a miracle at this point! He just wanted his water to break and for Freddie to come flying out with it.

"I'm so sorry you're hurting." He heard the brown haired man whisper , his voice cracking.

"H-hey it'll be fine." Buck tried to reassure him, although his face gave away how he was truly feeling.

"I know , you're just so brave carino. Seriously what you're doing for us, to help our boy out into this world , it's amazing ." Eddie mumbled in awe.

"I-I appreciate that." He said smiling widely for the first time since they arrived.  However , just on time another contraction hit, the force of it completely unexpected. Hence why he let out a choked odd scream before shoving the fabric in his mouth. As it turned out though,  it was a very needed force, that caused his water to break. The liquid pooling on the floor as Maddie rushed to press the call button. Here was Buck thinking it'd take hours of pacing for that to happen.

"Shhh you're doing so good sweetheart." His sister cooed, pressing soothing kisses all over his face as he sobbed.

"I-I can't do this..." He sobbed out.

"You can Buck , you can." Eddie tried to say to him.

"N-no this hurts! It hurts too much! I can't just listen to me!" He begged.

After that Eddie  just stayed quite, helpless eyes looking to Maddie for some form of support. But she just shook her head, a clear sign that he should just remain quite and comfort his hysterical friend and father to his child. "O-okay I'm listening." He finally whispered, rubbing his fingers into -Buck's spine.

Rebecca came rushing in seconds later, face slightly red from the obvious run she had just endured. Breath coming out in slight pants as she rushed around the room grabbing what she needed.

"I take it the waters broke pretty quickly huh?" She asked the sobbing man.

It was normal at this stage for birthing parents to lose hope that they where strong enough. The waters acted as a sort of barrier. Preventing them from feeling the true force behind contractions. Once that barrier was gone, they felt everything. From the constant burn at their cervix to the shooting pain in their pelvis and all of that was on top of the contraction itself. 

"M' scared... I-I can't do this." Buck cried to her.

"Oh trust me, you can do this. I'm just going to soak up that fluid for you and then I'll check how things are okay?" She assured him kindly.

He whimpered and whined non-stop as she placed the pads between his legs. Checking the colour of the fluid was good , if there was any discolouration it was a sign of meconium aspiration. That was extremely common in births. It's where the baby's stool is released into the amniotic fluids. Luckily everything was good so she knew there was no reason to prescribe any drugs to speed up the labour. 

"Fluid is perfect Evan! Let's just check your dilation okay? You can stay like this." Rebecca states, locking eyes with him.

"Mmhm." He hummed , eyes still clenched shut as the pain started to slowly drift away. That one had lasted just over a minute.

Dr Ferguson smiled , rubbing her hand over his back so that she didn't scare him. Doing her best to examine him as quickly as she could. There was nothing worse than making someone uncomfortable. 

"You're at eight and a half! That's good considering you've only been in for forty minutes honey!" 

"S-still two more to go..." He breathed out, pulling his head from Eddie's shoulder.

"True! But I promise if you keep active it'll fly by!" She said trying to keep him positive.

"O-okay, thankyou." Buck sniffled.

"No problem honey ! If you feel something is off or you need to push just press that button! Let me just get those pads up for you! " She insisted patting his back softly.

"I-I want him out." Buck moaned, using Eddie as support to stand up from the now soggy pads. 

"He will come! No reason to rush ... trust me you'll be okay." The doctor repeated , grabbing the pads and disposing of them.

"Thankyou." Eddie said nodding to her gratefully as Buck sat on the edge of the bed.

"No problem! Just keep that breathing up!" She instructed leaving the room.

"You're so close now little brother , so , so close."  Maddie cooed, pressing her lips to his forehead.

Five hours later and Buck was only just reaching nine centimetres. Eddie was getting worried, but his mum assured him over the phone that sometimes labour took a while. Buck could labour for up to thirty hours before the medical staff would begin to worry. So here they where at hour sixteen and Harry felt like he was losing his mind. The contractions where now at three minutes apart and lasting just over a minute long. It was heartbreaking to watch. Buck would just curl in on himself and bite down on the pillow like his life depended on it. His entire frame would shake in the process. 

"E-Eds!" He suddenly panicked, shooting up. Immediately throwing the pillow to the side as he gagged.

"Here!" Eddie panicked, placing the small plastic bowl in front of Buck's face as he threw up the remaining contents of his stomach. "Shhh it's okay."

"I-it's not and m' sorry." The pregnant man whined, face red in embarrassment. He didn't want his friend seeing him like this!

Maddie had stepped out an hour ago to go have a breather and inform their friends and family of his progress. Abuela , Tía Pepa , Christopher and the rest of the Diaz family had all turned up about three hours into Buck being admitted. It was cute really how supportive they where all being. He just wished he could see them. 

"Shit! Another one!" Buck growled , hand squeezing the death out of Eddie's . He didn't want to do this anymore! It was all getting too much. It was making him far too nauseous.

"Use the breathing techniques Buck." Eddie murmured he couldn't bare the pained moans leaving the younger mans mouth.

"No! Just shut up!" Buck snapped, he was so done. "I want him out! I can't do this anymore!"

"I know , Buck, I know." The old man sighed, pushing his hair back. He didn't take the snaps personally. He knew it was the pain talking.

"Hurts so fucking much." He heard himself  complain once again. He had given up on crying, there was no point. It wasn't helping.

"And I'm sorry it hurts so badly. But he will be here soon." Eddie cooed, leaning in closer to hun to offer as much comfort as he could.

"You best fucking hope so, because I may kill you if he isn't ." Buck groaned, flopping back down on the bed.

Eddie only chuckled, pressing a kiss to his sweaty temple. Even now, when he was pissed off and in pain, Evan Buckley was managing to keep a smile on Eddie Diaz's  face. He may not even realise it but he was helping keep him sane too.

"Don't laugh I'm serious!" The younger man pouted.

"Sorry carino." Eddie whispered, although his amused smile stayed in place.

"S-shit." Buck whimpered once more, another contraction hitting way sooner than he had expected. "Ow, ow ...Eddie!! I-I get M- Maddie!"  He cried out.

"What? I'm not leavin' you."

"Call her!" He sobbed out, turning so that he was on his hands and knees rocking back and forth. 

"O-okay." Eddie stammered, dialling Maddie's  number as quickly as he could , whilst pressing the fingers of his spare hand deep into Buck's spine.

"Eddie!?" Maddie answered straight away.

"Maddie get up here!" He ordered, hanging up the phone straight away.

"N-need to push." Buck moaned, shoving his face into the bed.

"Really?" Eddie asked in shock. This is what they'd been waiting for.

"Yes! Nggghh." The other man growled, trying his best to ignore the need to push down. 

"I-I-ahhhh! H-help me please!"

"I wish I could man, come on! Listen to me, don't hold your breath! Pant with me , follow my lead!" Eddie told him sternly.

But Buck couldn't listen, all he could do was push down. His body was begging for it and he didn't want to hold back! He needed his baby out. He barely registered what was happening around him as Maddie came rushing into the room, Rebecca at her side. The poor doctor had stayed overtime after Buck refused to allow anyone but her near him.

"Evan! Stop , stop pushing!" She ordered, hand pushing on his lower back to gain his attention.

"I-can't-dont-want-to." He panted between breaths.

"You have to! You may not be ready and you'll stress your baby out!" The doctor exclaimed.

"Evan! Look at me!" Maddie barked, forcing to the man to lock eyes with her. "Pant okay, like this." She said showing him how to breath correctly.

Buck grit his teeth, whimpers leaving his mouth as he fought against his body's instincts. It felt so unnatural and out of control. It was as though his body was working without his help, Freddie's head clearly pressing down against his cervix. It was like spraying a fire with water and expecting it to stay a light! It just wasn't possible. He was trying so hard but in the end his body was pushing without his consent no matter how hard he forced it not to. Rebecca was already finger deep in him but at this stage he could care less.

"Ten! You're at ten honey! Do you want to stay like this." She gushed.

Buck just nodded, there was less than a minutes break between each agonising pain and he didn't have the energy to answer properly. All he wanted to do was push. He needed to push.

Eddie made sure he was leaning in close, his arm wrapped around Buck's shoulders as the labouring man clutched on to his hand desperately. This was it, they where about to have a baby.

"Okay, Maddie can you just adjust the head of the bed so it's a little higher? That's it perfect! Thankyou. Buck you can push sweetie do what your body needs." The doctor informed, rushing to grab her birthing kit , already mid way through sterilising her hands.  He didn't need to be told twice, finally allowing himself to take in a huge gulp of air and pushing down with all he had. The relief was immediate. It felt good to finally be working with the pressure rather than against it. His face was red with excretion and he was sweating like a pig, but he was determined. 

"That's it baby brother ." Maddie soothed, her hand rubbing circles into his back gently as he choked on soft sobs.

"I love you so much for doing this." Eddie whispered into his ear, tears already building in his eyes at the sight of the man working so hard to bring their son into the world.

"I-I'm not your biggest fan..." Buck panted once he released the push. Causing everyone in the room to chuckle.

"That was a really good push! Keep going like that and he will be out in no time!" Rebecca chirped, positioning herself so she was able to see his entrance clearly.

Turns out 'no time' just means the longest time. Buck had been pushing for just over fifty minutes and the poor man had hardly made any progress... at least that's how it felt to him. But the others in the room  refused to let him give up! Stating how the baby was right there just breaking through his cervix and that they would be able to see him properly sooner rather than later.

"Fuck! I can't." He sobbed , hands squeezing the edge of the head board as he pushed down.

"You're doing it!" Rebecca said calmly, wiping at the area as more fluid leaked out. "One more and we should see the top of his head!" 

Buck cried out, Eddie's heart breaking at the sound. Hand squeezing Buck's to alert his best friend that he was right there. Watching as Buck moaned and focused all his energy into a push. His forehead pressing into the mattress. 

"Ahhhh.. Eddie it hurts!" 

"It will, baby is pushing out! He's right here! Lots of hair boys." His doctor told them smiling widely.

"See! You're doing it sweetheart!" Maddie cheered, looking down to where her nephews head was showing.  Watching in fascination as it slowly slipped back an inch as Buck stopped his efforts.

"I-I'm goin' to mess up." He whimpered.

"You won't! Carino he's right there, I can see him Buck." Eddie said , tears already escaping his eyes. 

"Eddie's right, if you push hard on this next one you're going to be crowing!" Rebecca instructed.

"Ahhh god they don't stoppp." Buck screeched, another pain hitting full force , causing him to push down.

"Thats it! Hold it, hold it! There we go!" She began shouting over his screams.

"Burns!" He sobbed, his head lifting up from the mattress to look at his friend. "E-Eds- Eddie .. shit.. shit... fuck." He cried.

The burning pain between his legs was something else. He could deal with the contractions if it meant this pain would leave. He was absolutely terrified that he would split in two it hurt so badly. The books said 'ring of fire' that was a fucking understatement! 

"Pant Evan! I need to just make a small cut okay? I'm worried you'll tear otherwise." Rebecca tutted, the last thing she wanted was to add to his pain. But it was better to do it this way than allow him to tear. The healing would be excruciating.

"C-can't have to-Pushhhh." The hysterical man stated, looking to Eddie desperately.

"Evan! You have to pant okay? No pushing or you will hurt even more, that's the last thing we want okay? So pant!" Eddie told him sternly. 

He watched as Rebecca , pulled out a pair of small thin scissors. His heart pounding as she careful made a small cut just at the edge of Buck's  stretched rim. Trying his best to ignore the sharp shout of pain that erupted from the already crying man.

"Push now! Go for it Buckley!" She said, keeping her eyes on the baby's heartbeat monitor. Until the head was born she had to be sure the oxygen levels where stable, if not it could mean that the cord was around Freddie's neck.

Buck whined, keeping his back straight as he pushed down with everything he had. The piercing pain at his opening hitting an all time high as the baby pushed his way through.

"Fuck!" He cried out, feeling as the baby's head was born along with a rush of unnamed fluids. 

"Heads out!" Maddie said , voice filled with emotion at the sight of the little baby's face. 

"H-he's so perfect Buck." Eddie whispered, eyes remaining locked on his sons scrunched up face.

"Y-He's okay?" The younger man panted.

"Perfect! Cord is clear... relax for two and let him turn then we should have a baby!" Rebecca explained.

Buck pressed his forehead to Eddie's, barely registering what he was doing as a slight whimper left his lips, trying  his best to pant through the in coming pains. Just a few more minutes and he would have his baby. He just had to focus ... keep his attention on Eddie. His comfort was Eddie.

"Okay, this is the one honey! Push when you want!" Rebecca called up to him kindly, hands under the baby's head.

Buck nodded, taking in a deep breath as he kept his eyes on Eddie's, neither of them moving an inch. Foreheads remaining together as he pulled in tightly  and pushed down as hard as he could. "Ahhhhh! Come on baby." 

The doctor smiled at his determination, watching as the baby's shoulder tugged at his entrance. Slipping her finger into help them come forwards. 

"One more!" She cheered.

"Shit!" Buck sobbed, pushing down once more before he felt a weird rush from between his legs. It felt odd, as though he had suddenly become completely hollow. He could hear Eddie and Maddie as they cried out in joy, but all he could focus in on was the croaked noises from his behind.

"Welcome to the world little guy!" Rebecca smiled, rubbing the tiny baby's back as he struggled to clear his airway. A joyful smile spreading across her features as the baby screeched in dismay.

"There he is." Maddie sobbed, relief filling her at the sound of her Nephews cries.

"H-holy crap Evan, you did it man." Eddie whimpered , tears leaving his eyes are uncontrollable rates. "You're so amazing."

"I-I-.. He's okay? I-I did it?" Buck asked in shock, his breathing laboured.

"Yes you did.." Eddie said chuckling wettly, littering his forehead with kisses.

The younger man nodded shakily, his dark, blonde  hair completely stuck to his forehead , but he slowly managed to turn him self, wincing in discomfort at the pain .

"Here we go my lovely..." Rebecca cooed softly , placing the naked baby on his chest gently. 

"I-O-oh my god..." Buck chocked out, hands shakily coming to hold his son in place. The tiny weight soothing that hollow feeling he felt just moments before instantly. 

Freddie Robert Diaz , was absolutely beautiful. Breathtakingly so. He had the cutest little face, his lips and nose clearly the exact same shape as Buck's own. A mop of dark hair, slightly curling at the ends, covering his head. His skin a beautiful tanned, olive tone. Much like Eddie's although he was slightly pink and wrinkled from all the fluid he had been living in for nine months. The tiny baby, who was clearly unhappy with his arrival into the cold outside. Scrunched up his face in dismay showing off two perfectly formed, tiny dimples. One on each cheek. Buck was blessed , how did they create someone so perfect?

"I-I actually did it." He said laughing softly, lips pressing against his sons wet dome of hair . "H-hi buddy, Hi my baby boy."

"You did." Maddie whispered proudly.

All three of them focusing on Freddie as he let out soft coos. 

He was here and he was absolutely perfect ...

———————————————————————————

"Can you believe he came on Christmas Eve? How amazing is that?!" Helena gushed , rocking back and forth as she held Freddie close.

"I know, I'm just happy I get to go home and introduce him to Chris in the morning." Buck said, yawning as he settled back against the pillows.

"The perfect Christmas present, just like you wanted." Abuela cooed.

"He's so handsome, look at those pouty lips." Tía pepa said, holding onto Freddie's fist. "He's so tiny as well, what did he weigh?"

"He was 7lb, 12oz." Eddie announced proudly. "Perfectly healthy baby boy , his Dede also has a clean bill of health."

"I'm glad. I'd be cursing your name if something happened to my new best friend, Eddie." Adriana spoke up, causing the room to all look towards the doorway gasping. There stood both Adriana and Sophia, smiling widely.

"You made it!" Buck cheered, raising his arms for a hug from the pair. "I thought your flight got cancelled? That's what Eddie told me."

"It did, but there was no way in hell we was missing this so we decided to drive instead. The kids and Mark will take a flight tomorrow morning." Sophia spoke, explaining their new plan.

"You guys are the best!" Eddie gushed, hugging them close once Buck released them from his hold.

"Can I hold him?" Adriana asked hesitantly, looking to Buck. 

"Of course you can." He said smiling softly. The sight of her scooping the small boy up into her arms and crying softly , was enough to set the whole room off.

"Such precious moments." Ramon breathed, arm around his wife's shoulders. 

The Diaz family spent the next hour catching up with the pair and little Freddie until Eddie started catching on to Buck's energy flagging,

"Well, as lovely as it is to have you all in here, we're back home at eleven tomorrow morning and Buck needs his rest,  so come on!" Eddie called out.

"Right of course! We will be over at two tomorrow. We wanna give Chris some time with you all alone." Helena informed the pair.

"That's great mama, Thankyou."

Freddie was passed to Eddie and soon they was softly closing the door behind them. All of them making sure to give Buck extra love and affection.

"It's so crazy." Buck said to him, shuffling against the pillows. "Like- I never thought I'd have this moment you know? It's so crazy that I'm living in it."

"You are, he's here and he's absolutely amazing." Eddie breathed, stroking his finger over Freddie's cheek. "Dios, I can't believe we made him."

"You shouldn't be so surprised, you already made one perfect kid. Of course you'd make another." The younger man replied yawning.

"Do you wanna hold him before you get some sleep?"

"No, it's okay. I like watching you with him. Also I've had nine months of being with him. Now it's your turn to get your bonding time in."

Eddie began laughing at that. "When you put it like that, yeah I think I will keep him a little while longer." He paused for a second. "I really am proud of you man, you did amazing in that delivery room."

"I-it was nothing, I knew I had to do it , for Freddie. Plus, I had you and Maddie. You kept me sane." Buck told him, blushing at the praise. "I know I got a little close back there, but erm- thanks for not pushing me away."

"I would never push you away Buck. Just friends or not, I really care about you and you needed me to stick close to you. I wasn't gonna deny you of that."

"Y-yeah things got really tense huh? I knew it was gonna hurt, but I just- I didn't expect it to be that bad. Honestly, it's the worst thing I've ever felt in my life and I've had my leg crushed before."

"Wait what?!"

"Oh? I've never told you that?"

Freddie whimpered slightly , shifting in Eddie's arms as he mouthed at the fabric of his shirt. "No, no you never. But you will be telling me once this little man has his milk fill and you've had a decent rest."

"You don't mind feeding him?" Buck replied, biting at his lip worriedly. "I know breast is best and all of that, but I just- I'm gonna need help once I start up in college and I'd rather him be used to bottle feds."

"I get it Buck, don't worry about it okay?" 

"I just, the nurse was giving me those judgey eyes and I guess I got worried you was thinking the same thing she was."

Eddie frowned. "And what exactly do you think she was thinking?"

"That I'd rather sit and do what I want than bond with my baby and give him all the best nutrients."

"Evan, nurses are literally brainwashed with that whole breast is best shit. But believe it or not? Formula these days is just as good, he'll be absolutely fine okay? You love him and that's all that matters , it's all he will ever need from you."

"I really appreciate you, you know that?"

"I appreciate you too, you've given me a literal human being. I think I'll always be in awe of you."

Something had happened between them in that delivery room. Eddie wasn't exactly sure what it was but it had changed everything he was feeling. All of sudden he couldn't help but see Buck the same way he had seen him nine months ago, see him as the gorgeous guy that made him fall for him in only two days... it was huge moment of realisation.

Buck hesitated slightly, snapping Eddie from his thoughts. "L-like you are with Shannon?"

"Yeah.." Eddie breathed. "As fucked up as she is right now, she wasn't always like that and she's still the mother of my child."

"I do feel for her Eddie, I just wish she wouldn't make it so hard on you all of the time. All I have ever seen her do is punish you for protecting your son."

"I-I know, it's just- I wasn't always the best boyfriend okay? I made my mistakes, and now I guess- she's paying me back for it." 

Eddie didn't know why he was making excuses for her, he shouldn't be making excuses for her.

"By barging into your home at all hours of the morning , disregarding me constantly , scaring your child to death, oh whilst also hating on your newborn? Seems a little unfair if you ask me." Buck stated. 

"Yeah well I didn't! So just stay out of it okay?." Eddie snapped, pausing once he realised how harsh it sounded. "Shit, I-I'm sorry."

"It's fine, I'm just- I'm gonna go to sleep." He muttered, turning away from Eddie . Hissing at the pull it caused to his stitches. 

"Be careful, please."

"I will."

Eddie sighed, shaking away the negative thoughts swimming around in his brain to focus on the small boy cuddled up against him. Freddie was the definition of perfection, there was no other way of describing him. Eddie had never felt so blessed in all of him life, yet he had allowed all of his hurt and upset towards anger out on Buck! He had quite literally ruined what should have been an amazing moment between them and their son, all for what? To defend a woman who had threatened to take his oldest son away from him? He was such a fucking idiot.

"I'm sorry little man, let's go get you some milk huh? Ask one of the nice nurses that gave you that nice blue blanket." He mumbled, pressing a kiss to Freddie's forehead. "Not one of the mean ones that made your Dede feel bad."

"Maddie said to make sure they give us the aptamil formula for him. It's a European one, but it's the best one apparently." Buck whispered before he left the room. "You can go home once he's asleep, I'd rather spend the night alone right now."

Eddie wanted to argue, tell him that he wanted nothing more than to stay the night with Buck and the baby, but he knew it was pointless. Buck was upset with him now and he had to let the younger man rest and think on it. "Yeah okay."

Leaving was harder than he thought it would be. All he wanted to do was stay close to Freddie, to sit and watch every single breath he took, to make sure he was safe. It felt wrong walking away from his son when he was only hours old. But he also knew that he had an amazing son sat waiting for news on his Bucky and baby brother back home too.

"I'll see you in the morning little man." He breathed, kissing Freddie's fist, before turning towards Buck. The younger man was in a much needed, deep sleep. His chest rising and falling slowly as soft puffs of air left his lips. Eddie had to resist the urge to lean down and kiss his forehead, instead settling for a kiss against his knuckles, much like he had done to Freddie and taking his leave. 

Buck wasn't exactly sure what time Eddie had left. All he knew was that when he opened his eyes to complete darkness and the tiny whimpers of his son, the older man was nowhere to be seen. He had left, just like Buck had asked him to, yet Buck couldn't help but feel a little sad about it. Sure they'd had a slight disagreement about a subject they'd agreed to forget about for the day, but they'd both lost a lot of sleep, they just needed to air it out. Part of him had hoped Eddie was smart enough to know that and stick around until Buck was willing to talk. Was it was selfish of him to think like that?

"Morning Freddie bear." He cooed, placing his hand over his sons tiny body gently. He looked towards the clock and seen it was nearing seven am. The nurses must have taken Freddie for his feeds throughout the night to allow Buck to sleep as much as he needed. He'd have to thank whoever it was.

Standing up for the first time since giving birth was most definitely an experience he'd like to forget. The fiery burn down below was at a peak and every step he made pulled at the stitches. "Ow fuck." He whispered, biting his lip as held onto the wall. 

"You okay?" Eddie's voice spoke, causing him to jump slightly.

"Shit! You scared me." Buck glared, whimpering as he took another step. "Don't do that."

"Sorry, I just- do you need help?"

He debated it for a matter of seconds before nodding his head. "Please, I really need to pee."

"Sure, just let me put this down." The older man said, placing the car seat down on the bed. 

"Thanks." 

Eddie only smiled, helping him into the bathroom and half shutting the door to allow him some privacy. "One of the nurses, Meena was her name. She spent her shift popping in and out to do his bottle feeds. She said you've been asleep the whole night through."

"Uh huh, kind of needed it."

"Right yeah, I know that." 

Buck sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm just- I'm still tired and I'm still a little pissed off about what happened."

"No it's okay, I get it." Eddie was quick to reassure. "It's just- Shannon is always going to be a touchy subject for me Buck. I shouldn't have snapped at you , but it's hard for me to admit that the woman I once saw as my forever has turned into this person that I barely recognise."

Buck quickly flushed the chain, wincing slightly as he pulled the maternity underwear back up. "I'm not gonna apologise for what I said man, I meant it. I am sorry it upset you though. I understand the situation is difficult and I shouldn't have brought it up after we said we would leave it. Freddie should have been my main focus."

"We're both tired and miserable being stuck in a hospital, I think we can let it slide for now. But just so you know, you wasn't in the wrong."

"I appreciate you saying that." Buck breathed, finally exiting the bathroom. "But anyway, not that it isn't nice to see you here, why are you here so early?"

Eddie chuckled, helping him sit down on the bed before sitting next to him. "The nurse I spoke about before, she called, told me Rebecca would be in to discharge you at eight thirty."

"You gave her your number?"

"Of course I did, I wanted to know if you was okay. I couldn't just go home and sit around not knowing."

"You should have been sleeping."

"I slept for like two hours if that helps? I'm used to the whole no sleep thing Buck. I have a kid and I work as a firefighter." 

Buck rolled his eyes. "That means nothing, Eddie you can't walk around like a zombie for the next six months. Freddie is fine, I am fine. Please sleep at night okay?"

"I'll try." Eddie agreed , smiling softly at the baby peacefully sleeping in front of them. "He's pretty amazing huh?"

"He is, I can't believe I actually did that." The younger man replied giggling. "He was restless when I woke up before, but he seems to self sooth pretty well. He hasn't actually properly cried yet."

"That might be because the nurses where on top of his feeds. Just wait until we're home."

"He's gonna be an angel, he's got your chill genes." 

Eddie snorted. "Or so you hope."

"Let's not, I'm sort of in a lot of pain and the thought of having him cry the whole time I'm suffering and can't move to get him,  is really scaring me." Buck confessed biting his lip.

"You do know you can take painkillers right?"

"Yep and I can not wait until the nurse comes in her and tops me up!"

"It won't be long now! Do you mind if we get Freddie ready to go now? I'd rather be able to help you properly once Rebecca has done her checks than focus on fiddling with an all in one." 

"Not at all, I'm actually really excited to see him in the little knitted outfit Athena and Bobby got him. He's gonna be so tiny in it." Buck replied giggling.

"He really is small, Christopher was so much bigger than him when he was born." Eddie smiled.

"Really? How much did Chris weigh?"

"He was 9lb , 6oz." 

"Yeah no! Forget that! God I thought giving birth to a seven pound baby was hard!"

"Because it was, god I really hated watching you go through all of that." 

The younger man began cooing internal at that. "You're sweet, but don't worry, he was more than worth it. He's so perfect I'm in disbelief."

"My mom can't stop gushing over his curls. The family group chat has been consistent of pictures that she's taken of his hair and little hands." Eddie told him laughing.

"Maddie is the exact same, she said Chim and the others have been basically crying over the pictures." Buck responded , leaning his head on Eddie's shoulder. "He's gonna be so loved."

"He really is."

Buck passed all of his checks with Rebecca with flying Colours , the only thing the doctor warned him about was the stitches and his bleeding. Informing him that the best thing for him was some weird herbal bath and lots of rest. All of which he was more than aware of, he'd read as many books as he could on labour and delivery. Now all he wanted to do was get home and be with his family.

"I've warned Christopher that you're sore so you shouldn't be knocked to the ground once we get inside. But just incase, you hold the car seat." Eddie instructed him, handing over the baby.

"Using the baby as my shield.. huh, that's a good one actually. I may have to use him when it comes to Maddie's manhandling too."

"Okay, let's head in. I'm sure Chris is about to burst out of that door any second." 

"Let's go." Buck said , limping slowly, he'd never been more grateful for his sons light weight.

"Bucky! Are you okay?! Can I hug you?!" Was the first thing he heard as he stepped into the warmth of their home.

"Of course you can buddy, just be careful okay?" Buck cooed, placing Freddie's carrier down on the door carefully and holding his arms open. The six year old immediately hugging him around his waist.

"I missed you." Christopher whispered.

"I missed you too superman, but hey? Your little brother made it just in time for Christmas!"

Christopher perked up at that. "The best present ever! That's what me and daddy said!"

"You and your daddy are right! He's the best present we could have ever wished for huh? Why don't we go and sit down on the sofa and you can have some cuddles with him, how does that sound?!"

"I made sure there's extra blankets on there for you little brother." Maddie spoke, poking her head out into the hallway. "I'll head out and let you four have your moment."

"Thanks Mads, I really appreciate you getting her so early this morning." Eddie sighed. "I felt really bad after keeping you here so late too."

"You needed me and I was more than happy to help! Your abuela couldn't have him too nights in a row Eddie, Plus the poor kid missed Buck so much he just wanted to be here waiting for him." She stated.

Bucks heart melted at that, he took the time he had to carefully lift Freddie's carrier and walk it into the living room. Christopher slowly follow behind. "Here bud, you take a seat and I'll get him out for you."

"Okay!" 

"I'll see you later Evan!" He heard Maddie shout.

"See you later!"

Just as he was about to bend down and scoop Freddie out he felt hands against his waist.

"Oh no you don't, Rebecca said to rest! That means no unnecessary bending! I can't believe you bent down to pic up the carrier!" Eddie scolded.

"Eddie, he's not even heavy ! I'm fine I promise you. Please don't become one of those overbearing care givers that prevents me from doing normal shit." Buck groaned, sitting next to Christopher.

The pain shooting up his spine causing him to cringe and whimper slightly.

"See? That's my point proven. It's only for the first few days, just let the stitches dissolve a little and it'll start to feel a little easier, okay?" The older man said.

"Okay." He agreed reluctantly. "Chris is waiting to hold him, that's why I wanted to get him out."

"Right!"

Eddie was quick to scoop the newborn up into his arms, smiling widely at his eldest as he bend down to his level. "Here we go Chris, meet your little brother.. Freddie Robert Diaz."

"He's small." Christopher whispered, smiling up at Buck who helped him hold Freddie up. "I like him."

"Oh you do? That's good then." Buck responded chuckling. "I'm sure he likes you too, in fact like I said before, I think he loves you."

"I'm his big brother." The six year spoke in awe, leaning down to place a delicate kiss to the baby's forehead. 

"You are, you're his big brother." Eddie breathed, wiping at his eyes as happy tears fell. "Dios, now I'm crying again, shouldn't it be you who's hormonal?"

"Oh I'm not far behind you man, don't worry." Buck choked out, clearing his throat as silent tears fell. "You're so good with him Chris."

"He's the best, Thankyou for giving me him Bucky! Best present ever!"

"God I love you Chris."

"Love you too!"

———————————————————————————

"Shhhh come on baby boy, just take the bottle please!" Buck begged, pacing around the kitchen. "I know it took me a while to make it , but you wouldn't let me put you down! It's hard doing things one handed buddy."

Freddie had been whimpering and crying  for just over two hours now. Buck couldn't remember the last time he slept, poor Eddie was starting back at work in three days and he didn't wanna exhaust him so he had been trying to go it alone. So far it wasn't working out too well.

"Freds, you're breaking my heart little man... please don't cry." He whispered, placing to bottle down to hold Freddie close against his chest. "You're so lucky you're cute and that a parents love is unconditionally. Otherwise I'd be debating my life choices otherwise I'd be debating my life choices."

Freddie only whimpered, hiccuping as he snuggled into his neck. The movement causing his dad to sigh in defeat. 

"Okay, fine , you win! I'll go and get daddy... shhh come on." Buck said soothing the two week old and making his way to the couch where Eddie had passed out during Freddie's one o'clock feed. It was now half three.

"Eds? Eddie?" He said gently, shaking the old man awake.

"W-what's up?" Eddie croaked, eyes focusing on the crying baby.

"He won't stop! I feel like such a shitty person waking you , but I can't get him to calm down! I've tried to feed him, change him, comfort him... he doesn't want me." Buck rushed out, kissing the baby's crown.

"I'm sure that's not true." He heard Eddie assure as he continued to bounce up and down.

"It is, he can sense how stressed I am.. his cries are breaking me.. can you take him?" The younger man begged.

"Of course, come here Bubz." Eddie whispered , taking the screaming baby.

Buck sighed in relief, hands rubbing into his eyes as he yawned. He felt so crappy, why was sleep deprivation real?! Why did it have to exist?! Couldn't the human body just figure out a way of coping without making you feel like complete shit!

Freddie continued crying for another five minutes, until finally he began to settle. Hiccuping as Eddie sang softly into his ear. Buck was in near enough tears watching the two of them. The older man was an incredible father, Buck had always known that. But seeing him with Freddie only strengthened that knowledge. Plus it didn't hurt that Eddie looked so damn , good holding their baby! Although it was a complete mind fuck in all honest. The feelings he was starting to have where ones that he would most definitely have to push down. He couldn't fuck up their dynamic, it was working out really well for them! The whole friends with a baby thing was nice, there was no pressure, they didn't have to worry about making mistakes that could ruin their relationship and put Freddie in the middle. After all, friendships could bounce back from a lot more than a relationship could. 

He zoned back in on Eddie and then baby just as Eddie's singing got a little louder. The song was erm- unexpected to say the least. 

"I want to write you a song

One that's beautiful as you are sweet

With just a hint of pain

For the feeling that I get when you are gone

I want to write you a song..."

Buck was one hundred percent certain it was a one direction song. Not that their son knew that, he was happily cooing away as he watched his daddy with glossy , wide eyes. Soft little hiccups leaving his mouth as his eyelids flickered.

"Everything I need I get from you

Givin' back is all I wanna do

I want to write you a song

One to make your heart remember me

So any time I'm gone

You can listen to my voice and sing along

I want to write you a song

I want to write you a song..." 

Eddie really was the best ... he was the perfect dad, the perfect friend, he was just the perfect human. Buck had said it before and he'll say it again. He was so lucky that Eddie was the guy who knocked him up. The thought of not having the older man in his life scared the hell out of him. Without even realising it he had found himself falling in love. 

He was so screwed, how could he find a way out of it now?! He couldn't just up and leave ! Eddie would be devastated, they'd agreed to live together until Freddie was at least two. That way they could both be there for some of his most important milestones! God he just had to go and fuck it all up!

"You okay? You've zoned out." Eddie spoke, causing him to snap out of his daze.

"Y-yeah sorry, I'm just really tired." Buck said blushing slightly as he finally took notice of Eddie's shirtless appearance.

"Why don't you go and get some sleep? he's gonna want that bottle in an hour and I have to be up at five thirty anyway." 

"Why are you up at five thirty?"

Eddie paused at that, biting his lip as he avoided eye contact with the younger man. "I-it's erm- it's nothing don't worry about it."

"Well it's clearly something, at first I assumed Bobby wanted you back at work sooner, but now I'm thinking it's a big thing, going off of your reaction." Buck stated, folding his arms.

"I have to be at the lawyers office by seven , I'm meeting with hun to arrange some paperwork for Shannon's visitation rights." The older man said.

"You're what?" 

"You heard me Buck."

"Yeah and I can't believe I did!" Buck exclaimed in a harsh whisper. "You're really gonna let her win? Eddie if you went to court there is no doubt in my mind that you would win! You don't have to take the easy way out!"

"I'm not taking the easy way out! I'm taking the way that means my son isn’t traumatised for the rest of his life by a custody battle!"

"Christopher doesn't even know her! Eddie she's never been there for him, you don't have to do this!"

"Buck! Please for once can you just support me in this?! I get that you have shitty parents and you just wanna protect Chris from ever feeling how you felt. Because let's face it, Shannon will be back, but she won't stick around. She'll be gone in less than a year, I can bet my life on that.  But he is my child, I get to make the decisions when it comes to him okay? Please respect that this is what I want."

Buck sighed, rubbing at his temples. "If she's just gonna leave , why would you put him through that? It's a lot worse than a custody battle Eddie."

"B-because I just- I guess part of me hopes that maybe having him around will help her realise that alcohol isn't the answer to her problems! That she doesn't need to throw her life away, that she has something worth living for even if in the beginning it wasn't what she wanted. I wanna help her okay?" Eddie stressed, tears gathering in his eyes. "She was my best friend and now she's suddenly became this stranger. And I can't stand the fact that I'm the reason she's turned out this way."

"How? How are you the reason?"

"Because I forced her to keep Chris! She didn't want him! I've told you this before! I pressured her into going through with the pregnancy knowing full well that I'd spend most of it in Afghanistan because we'd need the money. She was alone, pregnant with a baby she never wanted and I just- I didn't even bother to ask her how she was once. What kind of husband does that? Just abandons their pregnant wife after begging them to keep the baby! So you see, when I said I made mistakes Buck? I meant I made huge mistakes! I am the reason Chris has grew up without a mother, I pushed her into leaving me okay? She's not the bad guy in any of this, not the way I like people to believe. It's me, I'm the problem and it's about time I start making up for it!"

"E-Eddie, you were doing what you thought was best! You wanted to be a parent and you knew in order to do that you had to have some form of income! And trust me, you didn't force Shannon into anything! It's her body, she was well within her rights to do whatever the hell she wanted. But guess what? She kept Chris because I bet my ass she knew what an amazing father you'd make. She may be a mess right now and I completely understand why you'd think that's on you, but it's not! She is a grown ass woman, she makes her own decisions, all of this is on her and I won't sit here and allow you to believe otherwise." 

Freddie began whimpering before Eddie could open his mouth to argue back. Both of them instantly snapping their attention to him. "I'll get his bottle from the kitchen." The older man mumbled.

Buck didn't know what to do next, this was the most Eddie had ever opened up to him and it felt weird to just allow it to end there. They were finally reaching a mutual understanding and it was important to him that this conversion continued, so naturally that meant following after Eddie to corner him.

"That conversation isn't ending there Eddie, come on, you need to talk to me." He pressed.

"Buck, I just told you that I'm the reason my ex has turned into an alcoholic, what else do you need to know?" Eddie sighed, placing the bottle tip between Freddie's lips.

"You're not the reason, I'm sure there's plenty of reasons. One being the fact that she walked away from her child." 

"Because I forced her to keep him when she wasn't ready for him." 

"No, she kept him because she thought she would be okay, because she had you. Sure you went on tour and things got messy for a while, but you quit right? You was there when he was born, so anything that happened after that, it has nothing to do with you not being around to support her."

Eddie began crying softly. "But what if it does? You can say all of this Evan but then- what if what I'm thinking is right? What then? How am I supposed to look Chris in the eye knowing I'm the reason his mom walked out of his life before it even began? I just couldn't, that's why I'm doing this."

"Because you think allowing her visits means that you can at least tell him you tried." Buck breathed, sighing sadly at the nod Eddie gave. "Oh Eds." He cooed, putting his arm over the other man's shoulders and squeezing him close.

"I-I know that I'm my own worst enemy, I always think the worst of myself. My family always says I need to stop making excuses for her , but I really need to do this, it'll help me feel less guilt okay?" 

"Okay, but I just need you to know, Shannon left and that - no matter what the circumstances were, was still wrong of her. She could have stayed and helped out like you asked her too. Even if it was from a distance, she could have showed her love. But she didn't, she walked away for good.. she had a choice, she always had a choice. That's why she's back now, because you've always allowed her to have the choice of what she wanted to do." 

"T-thank you , for saying that." Eddie whispered. "For forcing me through my negative thoughts."

"You're the best person I know Eddie, I'll always be on your side okay?" Buck spoke gently, placing his hand against Eddie's cheek. "Freddie and Chris are so lucky to have you."

"They're lucky to have you too." 

Neither one of them is sure who makes the first move, but before they know it, the feeling of lips against lips is hitting them both full force. It was only a small, tasteful kiss, one that didn't include any tongue for either party. Just one of those kisses that had you floating for days. 

"Wow." Buck breathed, pulling away as he heard Freddie coo. "Huh, for  a second there I think we forgot our kid was in your arms."

"That we did." Eddie snorted in amusement. "I-it was nice though, despite our kid being in the middle of it , right?."

"It was, it was really nice actually..."

"What does it mean?"

"I think it means, I'm here for you and I hope that you'll allow me to stick by." The younger man answered honestly.

"I'd like that."

Buck exhaled shakily. "We take it slow then? Because you know we can't fuck this up Eddie, we just can't." He replied, finger stroking against Freddie's cheek. "Not when we have our boys to think about."

"We take it slow." Eddie agreed assuringly, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before they both focused back on their son. 

They could do this, it's time for Buck to stop living in fear and go after what he wanted.

———————————————————————————

"Oh here the new family of four is!" Hen squealed, opening the front door to them. "Buck, how are you? Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm good thankyou, for two weeks post partum I'd say I'm managing pretty well." He replied, hugging the woman close as Eddie carried Freddie in.

"The bleedings all stopped though right? Because If it hasn't you didn't have to come honey." She quickly added, pulling back to give him a once over.

"I'm fine Hen, honestly don't worry about me! This little guy has been waiting to meet all of you."

Buck nodded towards the carrier where Freddie was wrapped up in his soft , grey blanket. His long eyelashes fanning out against his chubby cheeks, little pouty lips lined by milk and an adorable baby blue knitted hat covering his dark tuff of curls. 

"Oh look at him." Athena suddenly gasped, appearing alongside Hen who was stood in awe. "He's so beautiful! A mini mix of you both."

"He's my baby brother!" Chris chirped, standing next to Eddie proudly. 

"That he is!" Hen replied, hugging Chris close. "How's it been, being a big brother huh?"

"The best!"

The group smiled at the six year olds response before jumping into action on getting the small family settled in. Athena helping Buck into the living room whilst Eddie took Freddie into his arms and followed. Chris knew he could do whatever he please when they came to Hen and Karen's place, so of course he went off in search of Denny. 

"Let me see this lil' baby everyone has been going crazy over!" Bobby called, he and Lena where stood alongside Ravi who looked really nervous for some reason. 

"Here we go, Cap meet Freddie! Freds, this is your sort of Grandpa buddy." Eddie cooed, handing the tiny baby over. 

Buck couldn't help leaning into his side, he had gotten so attached to the older man lately and in all honesty he was going to hate it when he went back to work in a couple of days.

"Oh he's too cute." Lena breathed, turning to Ravi. "What do you think probie?"

"Y-yeah he's super adorable." The young firefighter hesitated looking at the newborn.

"You look at little nervous man." Buck said , pointing out his energy. 

"It's just , I-I - newborns freak me out a little okay?! Like they're so small but they're also literal humans and I just- I can't wrap my head around how they grow inside of us and I start spiralling the more I think of it." Was the rambled response he received. 

"Oh believe me, we've all been there." Bobby spoke, chuckling in sympathy. 

"So, what took you two so long anyway? I mean I know you have a baby n' all, but it's New Year's Eve!" Lena asked the pair.

"Freddie had a bit of a rough night and then Eddie had to deal with some stuff to do with Shannon and I guess time just slipped by." Buck explained.

"How's that going by the way? The whole Shannon thing?" Ravi quizzed, glad to have the change in subject. "She still turning up?"

"Not as much now that the baby is here no," Eddie began to say. "But I'm hoping now that I'm allowing her visitation rights that it'll all stop."

"Wait what?!" Chim's voice suddenly jumped in. "You're allowing her visitation?!"

"Right okay, one.. where the hell did you come from? and two, yes I am and I've explained to more than enough people my reasoning for it so, can we please skip this whole conversation and enjoy New Years?"

"Of course we can, sorry about him Eddie, we was coming over to steal Freddie when he stuck his nose in on the conversation." Maddie said rolling her eyes. "It's no one else's business but yours."

"Exactly, it's over with now so just try and enjoy the night okay? You have more than enough people here to help out with the little one." Lena added.

"Thanks you guys." Eddie said, smiling gratefully.

"Who's up for the first feeding shift then?! He's due any minute now!" Buck chirped.

"Oh that's me!" Chimney called , immediately jumping in to swoop the baby out of Bobby's hold. "Are the bottles in the baby bag?!"

"Yes, in the side pocket- Chim! Chim just make sure he only takes two ounces at a time man! He gets really gassy otherwise!" Eddie shouted after him.

"He'll be fine Eds, Chim knows what he's doing." Buck cooed, wrapping his arms around Eddie's waist carefully. "Just chill okay?"

"R-right, sorry it's just- I'm not used to not having him around us. How are you so calm?"

"Oh I'm not, I'm freaking the hell out on the inside right now, but I also know that I  need to get used to it. He's gonna be with Maddie and Chimney a lot once I start up in college. May as well start with testing the waters now."

Eddie sighed at that, leaning into him. "That's true."

"Come on then, let's go see everyone else and make the most of the free time."

It was a few hours later that Maddie was finally able to pull her brother for a much needed chat. She felt as though she hadn't seen him properly since he gave birth and that was starting to upset her a bit. 

"So, where the hell have you been baby brother?"

"Erm- looking after my baby boy sis, remember him?Cute two week old, mini Eddie." He chuckled in amusement.

"Of course I do, I've just missed your annoying face." Maddie said sighing dramatically. "As if I could ever forget my beautiful nephew."

Buck snorted. "Fair enough, so what about you? What you been up to lately?"

"Trying to move Howie's stuff into my place."

"Wait what? Doesn't he live with you already?"

"I mean basically yeah, but he still owed his own place and it was getting a bit ridiculous keeping it empty , so he's renting it out to Albert."  She informed.

"Right, speaking of .. where is Albert? I thought he was desperate to meet Freddie?"

Maddie began giggling. "Oh he was, he's over there with him right now."

Buck looked over to find that Albert was indeed sat on the sofa , cooing over a very calm looking Freddie who was laying down in his arms. "Charming! He couldn't even come and say hi to me! I'm the one who gave birth to the kid!"

"He's excited , give him a break." She replied laughing at him gently. "So, how long have you and Eddie been seeing each other huh?"

That snapped him out of his fake anger. "What?"

"Oh don't play dumb with me Evan, I know you like the back of my hand. You feel something for him and by the looks of the way he was gripping onto you earlier he feels the same." Maddie said.

"I don't exactly know. I mean we kissed this morning but that's been it. I think we have a lot to deal with involving our own personal trauma before we put a label on it." He explained to her.

"I get that, but just so you know... you look completely head over heels for each other. It's actually pretty sickening."

"Oh is that so? Have you ever seen how you look at Chimney?" 

"Don't change the subject! All I'm saying is, you look so in love it hurts. So what ever you do, don't let this fear you have of losing people allow you to push him away. He's it for you Evan, him, Christopher and Freddie... that's your family now. You don't need to focus on what happened with our disaster of a childhood anymore, enjoy living a new one with your kids okay? Promise me?"

"Y-yeah , I promise you." 

"You two okay?" Eddie's voice called as he began walking over. Freddie back in his hold.

"I am now that my baby is back! Hi Freds, hey buddy! I missed you." Buck cooed, scooping the baby into his own hold against his chest. "God I hated that, no one else I taking him okay?"

"I'm already on it don't worry!" Maddie squealed, rushing off to their group of family and friends.

"You sure you're okay? You look a little out of it." The older man asked Buck.

"Yeah I'm good, Maddie just said something that really made me come to a realisation." He nodded.

"Oh yeah? And what realisation was that?"

"That I've spent so long living in my past, thinking about the childhood I could have had. But now- now I don't have to do that. I have Freddie and I have Chris and I get to live  a whole new childhood through them. Watching them grow is going to be the thing that saves me Eddie." 

Eddie smiled tearfully at that, leaning down to place a kiss against the top of Freddie's head. "That's a pretty great way of thinking."

"Isn't it just." Buck smirked. "Why don't we go and find Chris? It's nearly midnight and I don't want that ball to drop without him here with us."

"I'll be right back, you stay here, we have a good view of the fireworks here."

Buck nodded in acknowledgement before focusing all of his sight on Freddie once more.  It was all still so surreal to him that nine months ago he thought he would be spending he new year missing him. That Freddie would be with his new parents and family, yet here he was. He was safe and in his arms cuddling in like Buck was all he would ever need. Freddie was all he had ever wished for in life, this tiny, perfect little boy was his whole world. Just the thought of what could of been was enough to have him crying silent tears, pressing kisses against the small boys head repeatedly.

"Oh buddy, I don't know what I'd do without you, you know that? I love you so, so much. I'm so happy you chose me to be your Dede. But I'm also happy that you're daddy is the best in the world and that your big brother is one of the most incredible kids out there. I hope you know how needed you where baby boy, you're our little blessing."

"He really is." Eddie cooed, walking over to them both, Christopher following suit. "The countdown is starting babe."

Babe, Eddie called him babe. Oh the new year couldn't be starting off any better.

"Ten."

"Hey Eds?"

"Nine."

"Yeah? What's up?"

"Eight."

"No matter what happens with Shannon, with us, with the further.. I'll always be here."

"Five."

"As if I hadn't fallen hard enough already Buckley."

"Two."

“I really like you Eddie Diaz.”

“One!”

“Happy New Year!!”

The two of them kissed tenderly, no one else in the room payed much attention, although Christopher and even little Freddie made it very known that they where and where also very present.

“Daddy! Stop kissing Buck so I can hug him!” Chris whined, shoving Eddie gently.

“Sorry superman.” Buck said laughing happily, come here. He carefully crouched down, allowing Christopher to hug both him and Freddie close.

“Happy new year my boys.”

“Happy new year Buck.”

It’s safe to say that the year had been one of many ups and downs for the both of them. But 2022 was setting up rather nicely and Buck couldn’t wait to prove himself wrong, he was doing this. He was living the life had always wanted and he couldn’t be more grateful. He and Eddie had gone from Strangers to Friends to Parents,  in only a matter of months.. now it was time to go from Parents..  to Forever and always.